Emotional IntelligenceMagdalena Kishizawa, PeOrg Consult

ISPA, 03.01.2011

"Knowing others and knowing oneself, in one hundred battles no danger.

Not knowing the other and knowing oneself, one victory for one loss.

Not knowing the other and not knowing oneself, in every battle certain defeat."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War

"Knowing others and knowing oneself, in one hundred battles no danger.

Not knowing the other and knowing oneself, one victory for one loss.

Not knowing the other and not knowing oneself, in every battle certain defeat."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Agenda – Let`s talk E-Motions

1

2

Emotional Inteligence – What is it?

Why is EI important in our life and job?

Five core abilities of EQ

3 Developing the EQ core abilities

Emotions vs. Intelligence

Using NLP Techniques

Emotional talk: Nonviolent Communication

Communications Levels

Concept of Multiple Intelligence

Mathematical-logical Verbal-

linguistic

Bodigly-kineaesthetic

Musical

Visual-Spatial

Inter-personal

Intra-personal

ability to organise thoughts

sequentially and logically.

ability to understand and express ideas

throughlanguage.

sensitivity to tone, pitch and rhythm, and the

ability to reproduce them.

gaining of knowledge through

feedback from physical activity

ability to learn directly through images and to

thinkintuitively without the

use of language.

ability to notice and make discriminations

regarding themoods, temperaments,

motivations and intentions of others.

having access to one’s own feelings

Multi-Intelligences

Emotional Intelligence: Inter- and Intrapersonal Intelligence

According to Goleman, Interpersonal and Intrapersonal intelligence belong to Emotional Intelligence (EQ).

Stress Handling Techniques

Self Management

Keeping motivated

Recognising and managing own Emotions

Effective Communication

Conflict Management

Recognising and managing Emotions of Others

Emotional Intelligence (EQ): What it is?

Definition Aspects of EQ Improved performance

ability to recognize the meanings of emotion and their relationships, and to reason and problem-solve on the basis of them.

Emotional intelligence is involved in the capacity to perceive emotions, assimilate emotion-related feelings, understand the information of those emotions, and manage them.

understanding yourself, your goals, intentions, responses, behavior and all.

understanding others, and their feelings.

“What is your EQ? It’s not a number. But emotional intelligence may be best predictor of success in life, redefining what it means being smart.” (Time, 1995)

E.g. partners in a multinational consulting firm, who scored above the median on 9 or more of the 20 competencies delivered $1.2 million more profit from their accounts than did other partners.

Literature: Mayer, J. D., Salovey, P., & Caruso, D. R. (2000). Models of emotional intelligence. In R. J. Sternberg (Ed.). Handbook of Intelligence (pp. 396-420). Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.

Intelligence versus Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence - EQIntelligence- IQ

given can be developed

ability to recognize the meanings of emotion and their relationships

ability to reason, plan, solve problems, think abstractly, comprehend complex ideas

supports choice makingsupports decisions making

helps to follow the norms helps to establish own norms

can disturb perception of emotions doesn`t influence ability to think

important in middle management important on executive level

it is not motivating motivates us

Key Perfomance Indicators at Job

Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

Intelligence and Emotional Intelligence at Work

Making a differencein performance

Five Core Abilities of Emotional Intelligence

Knowing one’s emotions

Recognising emotions in others

Motivating oneself

Managing emotions leading it, having under control.

Handling relationships

Knowing one’s emotions - Emotions

EnjoymentSurpriseConfidenceHappinessLoveJoyPride

NegativePositive

DisgustSadnessAnxietyDepressionEnvyGuiltShame

GriefHateAngerRejectionFearLonelines

sAggressio

nBoredom

Ways of Dealing with Emotions

“What others do may be a stimulus of our feelings, but not the cause.”

Marshall B. Rosenberg

Three ways of dealing with own emotions:

Self-aware – people are aware of their emotions.

Overwhelmed– people feel overwhelmed by their emotions.

Accepting – people accept their moods.

Talking about Own Emotions

Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication.Be specific about what do you feel. Vague statements are hard to

work on.

Avoid accusations in case of negative emotions. Accusations will cause others to defend themselves. Instead, talk about how someone's actions made you feel or what is your need.

Don't generalize. Avoid words like "never" or "always." Such generalizations are usually inaccurate and will heighten tensions.

Try to differentiate Observations from Evaluations

Using ‘I’ Instead of ‘You’

What’s wrong? How may I help you?

You have a problem Let’s see if I can help to resolve thissituation.

I am sorry you had to wait so long.

Thank you for being so patient.

Recognising emotions in others - Empathy

intellectual understanding blocks empathy

use paraphrasing technique to connect to other persons feelings:

Paraphrasing: restatement of a text or passages, using other words

pacing of the others body language, speed of talking...

Pacing in NLP is gaining and maintaining rapport with another person over a period of time by matching or mirroring their external behaviour

1. Nonviolent Communication: a Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg (Author)

2. The Language of Emotional Intelligence: The Five Essential Tools for Building Powerful and Effective Relationships by Jeanne Segal (Author)

3. Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman (Author)

4. Neuro-Linguistic Programming for Dummies by Romilla Ready (Author), Kate Burton (Author)

5. Woher wir wissen, was andere denken und fühlen: Die neue Wissenschaft der Spiegelneuronen - by Marco Iacoboni (Author)

6. Mirrors in the Brain: How our minds share actions and emotions: How Our Minds Share Actions, Emotions, and Experience by Giacomo Rizzolatti (Author), et al.

7. The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life by Joseph Ledoux (Author)

8. Descartes' Error: Emotion, Reason and the Human Brain by Antonio Damasio (Author)

9. The Empathic Civilization: The Race to Global Consciousness in a World in Crisis by Jeremy Rifkin (Author)

10. Choke: What the Secrets of the Brain Reveal about Getting It Right When You Have to by Sian Beilock (Author)

11. 55 Ways to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence by Andy Smith (Author)

12. The Emotionally Intelligent Manager: How to Develop and Use the Four Key Emotional Skills of Leadership by David R. Caruso (Author), Peter Salovey (Author)

13. Harvard Business Review on Effective Communication ("Harvard Business Review" Paperback) by Harvard Business Review (Author)

14. Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships by Eric Berne (Author)

15. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey (Author)

16. Primal Leadership: Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman (Author), et al.

See updated reading list on: http://www.amazon.co.uk/wishlist/2EU9SZV06MRV3

About Magdalena Kishizawa

Magdalena is a coach and trainer with a successful track record over ten years in providing leadership development support and executive coaching.

She works in United Kingdom, German, Portugal and Eastern Europe on Learning and Development projects.

She worked for such companies as SAP AG (HR Department at Service & Support Executive Board), Kienbaum Management Consultants GmbH and O&P Consult AG (as consultant)

Because of her business and private experiences (like working and living in Germany, Poland and United Kingdom and her personal connection to Japan) Magdalena has a deep understanding of challenges of culture differences in business environment.

She studied psychology, business administration and education science; is CIPD and ICF member; has finished a course in systemical coaching (accredited by German Psychology Association)

Since 2008 is Managing Director at PeOrg Consult Ltd.

PeOrg Consult Ltd+44 113 815 2050 (United Kingdom)M +44 77 47575373 (United Kingdom)P +49 6221 1867 613 (Deutschland)M +49 173 3405881 (Deutschland) Registered in England and WalesNo. #6704818

www.peorg-consult.com

mkishizawa@peorg-consult.com

Kontakt:Magdalena Kishizawa

PeOrg Consult - Understanding People in Organisations