T H E N E W S L E T T E R O F Y O U REMPLOYEE ASSISTANCE PROGRAM Vol. 8, No. 2

INSIDE THIS ISSUE: Happiness Improves Health p. 2; Better Teen Communication p. 3; Contacting your EAP p. 4

Continued on page 2

RELATIONSHIPSFor Your InformationMYTHS AND FACTSMyth: Alcoholics drink every day.Fact: Some alcoholicsdrink only on weekends;some abstain formonths. Alcoholism isnot determined by howoften people drink, butwhether or not they cancontrol their drinkingonce they start.

BETTER SLEEPFor better sleep, moderate yourconsumption of caffeine. Avoid caffeinelater in the day, especially after 4 or 5 p.m.Drinking a can of cola or cup of coffee inthe late afternoon may keep you awake atmidnight. Also, beware…sensitivity tocaffeine can increase with age.

SIGNS OF OVERWHELMINGSTRESSThe following areindicators that youshould seekprofessional helpfor managingstress:■ You feel trapped,like there’snowhere to turn■ You worryexcessively andcan’t concentrate■ The way youfeel affects your sleep, your eating habits,your job, your relationships, your everydaylife.If you or a family member are feelingoverwhelmed by stress, contact your EAPfor confidential counseling, referrals orinformation.

In relationships where one ofthe partners suffers fromdepression, the divorce rate isnine times higher

According to a study of married couplesin the U.S., each marital partner’s level ofdepression predicted their own maritalsatisfaction and that of their spouse aswell. Depressed individuals expressedhigher levels of dissatisfaction with theirmarriage and their spouses were moredissatisfied with the marriage also.Untreated depression poses a very realthreat to a marriage. Statistics show thatin marriages where one of the partnerssuffers from depression, the divorce rateis nine times higher.

What to do when depression threatens your marriage or relationship

Living with a depressed spouse can leave you feeling unloved, confused, demoralized, angryand resentful. If depression is taking a heavy toll on you and the quality of your marriage, thesuggestions below can help:

1. Learn about all aspects of depression. It is vital that both you and your partner learn allthat you can about depression – its symptoms, what it is, what it isn’t, what to expect andwhat treatment options are available. The more you know about depression, the better youcan help your spouse, your marriage and yourself. It is very important to:

n Understand that depression is an illness. Your spouse did not “choose” to become depressed.n Realize and accept that no one is to “blame” for the situation. People do not deserve tobe depressed. And, despite what your spouse may say, you are not to blame either.n Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. You will help your spouse recover faster and help lower your own frustration by learning as much as you can about what depression feels likefrom your spouse’s point of view.

Depression Increases MaritalDissatisfactionand Divorce

Your Employee Assistance Program1-800-899-3926

2

WELLNESS

2. The depressed spouse must seek professional helpfor depression. It is important to recognize that beforemarital problems can be effectively dealt with, thedepression needs to be treated first. Encourage yourspouse to seek professional treatment as soon aspossible. The first step is for him/her to see a doctor andask to be examined for depression. Once a treatmentprogram is prescribed, helping may involve monitoringwhether your spouse is taking their prescribedmedication, or encouraging him/her to stay withtreatment until symptoms begin to abate (severalweeks). Helpful: Develop a “we” approach instead of an“I” approach with your spouse toward depressiontreatment.

3. If your spouse balks about getting help. It isimportant that you get your partner to the doctor ormental health professional, even if you have to schedulethe appointment or take off from work and accompanyyour partner to the appointment. If your spouse refuses toseek treatment, sometimes the parents or siblings of thedepressed spouse, or a close friend or minister can helpconvince a depressed spouse to consult with his/herdoctor or therapist.

4. Offer your spouse support and encouragement.Be there for your spouse. Givehim/her a shoulder to cry on, or justlisten while they vent their feelings.Be patient with them. Let them knowyou care. Share the things you’velearned while researchingdepression. Remind your partnerthat their depression is not theirfault and that they are not weak orworthless. Keep reassuring yourspouse that with time and help, he or she will feelbetter.

5. Take care of yourself. Living with a depressedperson can leave you feeling unloved, demoralized,resentful and exhausted. These feelings are a validresponse to a very trying situation. Talk to a trusted friend,join a support group or seek individual counseling to ventyour frustrations rather than allowing them to build. Don’tallow your spouse’s depression to completely overtakeyour life. Make time for yourself and continue toparticipate in things you enjoy doing. Periodically takesome time to step back from the situation and rechargeyour batteries. If your partner refuses to seek help,consult with a therapist to get individualizedrecommendations and the help you need.

Your EAP Is Here To Help

If you suspect that you, your spouse or another familymember may be suffering from depression, yourEmployee Assistance Program (EAP) can help you. EAPcounselors are specially trained to help people get the

Continued on page 3

Depression Increases Marital... Continued from page 1

Happiness ImprovesHealth and Lengthens LifeAccording to a study in the journal Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being,a review of more than 160 studies of human and animal subjects has found“clear and compelling evidence” that – all things being equal – happy peopletend to live longer and experience better health than do their unhappy peers.

“Your subjective well-being – that is, feeling positive about your life, notstressed out, not depressed – contributes to both longevity and better healthamong healthy populations,” said lead study author, Ed Diener, Ph.D.

Tips to increase happinessThe good news? Recent researchreports that you can change yourthoughts and actions to increase yourhappiness. To increase yourhappiness, consider the following:

Live with purpose. People who strive forsomething personally significant –whether it’s learning a new skill, raisinga good family, or changing careers – arehappier than those who don’t havestrong dreams or aspirations. Pick oneor more significant goals and devote time and effort in pursuit of those goals.

Nurture your relationships. A Japanese study found that contented people’shappy experiences most often involved connecting with someone. Happypeople have a strong bond with at least two out of three of these essentialrelationships: a partner, a friend, or a parent. Experts say the best way toimprove a relationship is to invest time and energy in it.

Count your blessings. One way to feel happier is to recognize good things whenthey happen. Express gratitude for what you have privately and also byconveying appreciation to others. If you have trouble counting your blessings,try keeping a gratitude journal. Write down three to five things you’re grateful foronce a week. Several studies show that people who record what theyappreciate experience greater happiness and less anxiety.

Practice kindness. Do good things forothers. Acting kind or helping othersmakes you feel capable, compassionateand full of purpose. In one recent study,researchers could literally see thebenefits of kindness. Subjects werehooked up to a brain-imagingmechanism and asked to click yes or noto charity-giving opportunities. Whenthey donated, the machine registered aboost in blood flow to a part of the brainassociated with happiness.

Cultivate optimism. Keep a journal where you write your best possible future.Practice seeing the bright side of every situation. Studies show that optimisticthoughts can be self-fulfilling and that optimists are healthier, happier and livelonger than pessimists.

right kind of help for depression. If you needhelp, why not call an EAP counselor today?We're here to help you.

Helpful Resources

n DEPRESSION FALLOUT: The Impact ofDepression on Couples and What You CanDo to Preserve the Bond, by Anne Sheffield.Discusses what typically happens to loverelationships when depression enters thepicture and offers sound advice on what non-depressed partners can do to weather thecrisis and keep the relationship intact.

n www.WebMD.com - This websiteincludes comprehensive and in-depthinformation about depression symptoms,diagnosis, treatment and related issues.

u Sleep problems: awakening during thenight with an inability to go back to sleep or difficulty falling asleep at night. Somedepressed people also sleep a great dealmore than usual.u A change in eating patterns: for mostdepressed people this means a loss ofappetite and subsequent weight loss.Some people , however, react todepression by compulsive overeating andrapid weight gain.

Symptom Checklist: How DoYou Know If You’re Depressed?

There are many symptoms related todepression. Some of these include:

u Feelings of fatigue: no matter how muchsleep you get, you still feel exhausted.u Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood.u Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism.u Feelings of guilt, worthlessness orhelplessness.

Depression Increases Marital...Continued from page 2

Improving CommunicationWith Your TeenDo you feel like your teen just doesn’t want to talkto you? Do you sometimes feel so estranged fromyour teen that you don’t know how to talk to themanymore or what to talk to them about? Below aresuggestions to help improve your communication(and your relationship) with your teen:

1. Listen to your teen. Listening is an act oflove. Listening to your teen with your undividedattention and concentration demonstrates toyour teen that you love and care for him/her.

2. Listen for understanding. The teen years are a time of turmoil and change. Thisis a time when your child needs you more than ever to be there for them. By listening,you can better understand the issues of importance to your child and the problems andchallenges they may be facing. The more you understand your teen’s challenges andfeelings, the better you will be able to help them.

3. Improve your listening skills. Most people need to learn how to listen withtheir undivided attention. Follow the guidelines below to improve your listening skills:

n Give your child your full attention.n Maintain eye contact with your child.n Concentrate on what your child is saying.n Nod your head occasionally to show your involvement without interrupting.n Don’t change the subject. Let your child lead the conversation.n Do more listening than talking.

4. Be patient. Being uncommunicative is very common for teens. Understand thatmeaningful talks with your teen will occur when they are ready to talk to you, not whenyou approach them. If your child does not want to talk, you need to respect that. Youcan keep the lines of communication open by saying, “Okay, but I’m here when youneed me to listen.” Remember, when they do open up, focus on being a good listener.

5. Avoid nagging and lecturing. Nobody likes to be nagged or lectured to,especially on a regular basis. A steady stream of nagging, lecturing and negativecriticism will stifle communication with your teen. Instead focus on beingencouraging, supportive and positive.

Your EAP is here to help

If you are concerned about a particularly difficult family or parenting issue, yourEmployee Assistance Program (EAP) can help you. Remember, your EAP can assistyou with any type of personal, family or work-related concern. Why not call aprofessional EAP counselor today?

3Continued on page 4

BETTER PARENTING

Healthy Exchange is published quarterly by Jenican Communications, 19 Gatewood Dr., Aliso Viejo, CA 92656, (949) 360-1508. Copyright © 2013 Jenican Communications. All rightsreserved. This newsletter is not intended to provide medical advice on personal wellness matters, which should be obtained directly from your physician.

410

Depression Increases Marital... Cont. from p. 3

u Persistent physical symptoms that donot respond to treatment, such asheadaches, backaches, digestive problems,or chronic pain.u Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbiesand activities that you once enjoyed,including sex.u Restlessness, irritability.u Difficulty concentrating, remembering,making decisions.u Intensified self-criticism and diminishedself-esteem.u Thoughts of death or suicide, suicideattempts.

NOTE: Professional help should definitelybe sought if a person is experiencingsuicidal thoughts.

n

Employee Assistance Program1-800-899-3926

• Personal / Work Stress

• Marital / Family Concerns

• Alcohol / Drug Concerns

• Frustration / Anger / Sadness

All of us experience personal, family or work related problems now and then.Sometimes, even ordinary problems can become overwhelming. It is at

these times, your EAP can provide free confidential assistance. Employees or family members can call to receive telephone consultation

and/or to schedule an appointment with an EAP specialist.

Read Healthy Exchange online: theemployeeassistanceprogram.comNewsletter comments welcome at: Managed Care Concepts

P.O. Box 812032, Boca Raton, FL 33481-2032

CALL FOR FREECONFIDENTIAL

HELP

Did you know?Your EAP Website offers:• Employee/CustomerSatisfaction Surveys

• Administrator SatisfactionSurveys

• Articles & Newsletters• Quizzes & Self Assessment Instruments

• Tips on Stress Reduction• Management and Human Resource Tips

Forgot your password? Ask yourHuman Resource specialist forthe password or call the EAP at

1-800-899-3926.

www.theemployeeassistanceprogram.com

Your Employee Assistance Program

1-800-899-3926

Finding the right balance between work and familyis a difficult and on-going challenge for all workingparents. How can you find time for work andrunning a household, and still give your childrenthe care and attention they need? Here are someideas that might help:

1. Prioritize your commitments. There is notenough time to spend doing things that aren’timportant to you. Identify your various roles andattach a level of priority to each. Make sure you areputting your time and energy only into the thingsthat are truly most important to you.

2. Strive to find balance. Work out a plan withyour spouse and kids that works for your family.Talk about the difficulties of meeting work andfamily responsibilities and let other familymembers try to help find solutions for the timecrunch. Make sure your family knows that their needs take a high priority despite thedemands of your job.

3. Share responsibilities. Split parenting and household tasks appropriately amongfamily members. Be sure that everyone in your family understands that householdchores are a responsibility for all family members to tackle. Consider paying for someservices to be done. Also, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help from extendedfamily, friends or other parents in similar situations to yours.

4. Make the most of family time. Spend some time alone each day with your spouseand each child. Even if it is only for a few minutes, talk, read, or participate in anactivity together. Also, plan special family events. Ignore your weekend agenda ofhousehold duties every once in a while and enjoy family time together.

5. Avoid making comparisons. The tendency is to feel like everyone else has it alltogether, but work/family counselors say most people share the same stresses,concerns and occasional feelings of inadequacy when it comes to balancing workand family. Keep your expectations realistic. If your kids and work are your mostimportant priorities, lower your standards on household responsibilities. Learn to leta few things slide.

IMPROVING YOUR LIFE

Tips For BalancingWork and Family