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Relational Dynamics and Communication Slide 2 What makes us seek relationships with some people and not with others? Sometimes there is not a choice (family) We seek out some people. We actively avoid others. What factors influence attraction and avoidance? Slide 3 Factors Influencing Attraction Appearance Similarity Complimentarity Reciprocal Attraction Competence Disclosure Proximity Rewards Slide 4 Relational Development and Maintenance Initiating Experimenting Intensifying Integrating Bonding How does communication change as we get to know each other? COMING TOGETHER Slide 5 INITIATING Show interest! Show you are worth talking to! Communications tends to be BRIEF FOLLOW FORMULAS HAND SHAKES TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER Slide 6 EXPERIMENTING Decide if we want to pursue the relationship further. Uncertainty reduction Gaining information about another Decide if we want to pursue the relationship further. Small talk Find out if we share interests Provides an audition Low risk Varies in low- high- context cultures Slide 7 INTENSIFYING RELATIONSHIP begins to develop Express feelings towards each other Increase time spent together Ask for support from one another Do favors for each other Get to know the others friends Share activities Take trips together Slide 8 INTENSIFYING (Cont.) Time of excitement- In romantic relationships Goosebumps Gazing Daydreaming Intensifying is not a permanent stage! Slide 9 INTEGRATING TAKE ON identity as a social unit (a couple, friends) Social circles merge Take on each others commitments (we) Share language patterns Develop ritualistic behaviors Obligation to each other grows Slide 10 BONDING Symbolic public gestures Wedding ceremony Marks a turning point: commitment! Slide 11 Differentiating Circumscribing Stagnating Avoiding Terminating How does communication change as we separate from each other? COMING APART Slide 12 DIFFERENTIATING WE shifts to me. Return to putting the self first Stress-induced Need not be negative Part of relational maintenance Key to success: maintain commitment to the relationship while creating space for the individual. Slide 13 CIRCUMSCRIBING Communication decreases in quantity and quality Members withdraw from disagreement Mental withdrawal Physical withdrawal Shrinking of interest and commitment Opposite of integrating Slide 14 STAGNATING When circumscribing goes on too long Excitement is long gone Loss of feeling No growth in relationship (Workers who are burned out) Same conversations, same routines Loss of joy or novelty Slide 15 AVOIDING When stagnation is too unpleasant Create physical distance Cant see you now Dont call me Slide 16 IS THE RELATIONSHIP LOST? Unsuccessful couples: Avoidance Indirectness Less involvement Successful couples Repair Communicate concerns Confront each other Spend time and effort to negotiate solutions Slide 17 TERMINATING FINAL STAGE Summary dialogs; desire to dissociate Notecalllegal document Short or drawn out Doesnt have to be totally negative Redefined Grave dressing (retrospective attempts to explain failure) Slide 18 Relational Development and Maintenance Initiating Experimenting Intensifying Integrating Bonding How does communication change as we get to know each other? COMING TOGETHER Slide 19 Differentiating Circumscribing Stagnating Avoiding Terminating How does communication change as we separate from each other? COMING APART Slide 20 BONDING INTEGRATING DIFFERENTIATING CIRCUMSCRIBING Healthy relationships move in and out of these stages. On-going maintenance and repair are needed for long-term relationships. INTENSIFYING STAGNATING