Reasons Why A Donald Trump Presidency

Will be Successful

By: P.G Wodehouse

(Disclaimer- As you probably have guessed the author’s name is entirely

fictitious to avoid any affiliation with the content of the book, the actual

author does not condone, agree with, or acknowledge any material

expressed in this book…I already know what you’re thinking don’t ask how

I came up with the author’s name)

A Thorough Analysis of undoubtedly one of the greatest Rulers

known to mankind

Some have labeled him as being Immortal, having unlocked

legendary status in life, even referring to him as an incarnation of

god…

This book attempts to get an inside look Into the Self-made billionaire and twitter star

**********Donald John Trump**********

An Inside look into one of the most intellectually superior beings

on the planet

Disclaimer: Contrary to popular belief that no human being would

ever be named P.G Wodehouse (how do you even come up with that

Name is beyond me) there was actually, an author who was named

this…. Your probably asking yourself why I Included this to which I

would respond there are bigger problems to address right now like

whether or not the statue of Martin Luther King was removed from

the white house or the size of the presidential inauguration crowd

(thank you Sean Spicer for clearing it up #Respect it…..my main man

Spicy Sean)

Also don’t be surprised stranger things have happened for example

Steve Harvey announced the wrong Miss Universe Winner

(Whoops Wrong example…..does that really surprise you)

Acknowledgements

#Hillary Clinton for losing the election

despite:

-running against the equivalent of seventy

year old grandpa with the intellect and

aptitude of a Young Child…. No not like a

teenager who has a general understanding

of how the world operates more like a child

who has just turned five and has been

assigned chores and constantly makes

excuses to avoid doing them #The American

Health Care Act

-being supported by katy perry, beyonce, and

most importantly Jay Z (again don’t forget

Jay Z…the guy whose hairline looks like it

was drawn in Microsoft paint with the

paintbrush function) just had to make sure

we were talking about the same one

Unfortunately Most of the Jay Z pictures are

copyright protected (why anyone would

want pictures of Jay Z and feel the need to

copy them I don’t really have an answer to

that) so here’s a picture of a Gorilla

instead…

Yep you know it’s coming

#rip harambe

-Having 35+ years of Political Experience

-Despite raising 1.4 billion dollars, being

backed by Wall Street, the government, and

having the full support and loyalty of

previous presidential superstar bill Clinton

(I mean the guy was getting all kinds of A** in

the white House what more can you ask for in

a campaign basically guaranteed

Presidential win am I right)

#The American Dream that Truly Anything Is

possible

For example- How the F*** does Nicholas

Cage earn an Oscar before Leonardo

DiCaprio

Also…..

Someone please explain to me why jimmy

fallon is still on the late show…he’s not

even funny….what makes you think I want to

see a grown a** man play Party monkey Tic-

Tac-Toe

Also please explain to me how Justin Bieber

isn’t in jail right now, oh that’s right why

stay in jail when you can just buy your way

out.# The American Legal System…the best

system in the world

underscore “ehhh….depends on how you look at it”

My informants tell me that Justin’s a pretty

likable and genuine guy…opps wrong Justin I

was describing Justin Timberlake

No…F*** you Justin Bieber

Some free advice- Justin It’s a good idea to

keep your clothes on

#JusticeForHarambe

#Call of Duty for the kill confirmed meme

#Stephen Colbert for being a younger

version of john Stewart one who does not

quite grasp reality and looks like he just

stepped out of the matrix

Wait for it….

Yes that’s right I dedicated a whole page to a

picture of Stephen Colbert

but wait

If you look closely

……………………………………

--Okay the acknowledgement list could

probably span the length of the entire book

so I’ll get to the actual topic of discussion

Also in case you were wondering there was a

second mall cop …….what that means for this

country I’m not certain so we will turn it

over to the movie experts at IMBD for more

information

Prequel Sequel

Kinda Like……

Sequel

Prequel

Whats Next?

Let’s not find out

Hey it’s not good to make assumptions

For example

There was probably a bee on his shoulder so

the individual in black is trying to scare it

off

Anyways……..

Movie Reviews

Mall Cop 1 5.2/10

Mall Cop 2 4.4/10

Ap SAT Question

Based on the following numerical data what

can be inferred about the condition of the

United States?

A) As we can see the second term is worse

than the first term…. Can anyone explain,

contemplate, or predict how A) A second

term is possible and B) how it could get any

worse than it already is now

B) This country is going to h***, of the 320

million people who live in the United States

the best we could come up with is Donald

Trump and Hillary Clinton (don’t even get me

started on Marco Rubio or Ted Cruz)

With Marco Rubio it looks like all he is

missing is the sombrero and a lawn mower

(This book is not sponsored by avocados from

Mexico.. but There’s only one avocado that

can chill you in the summer and relax You by

the fire in winter and that’s Avocados from

Mexico….again not a sponsored message..

alight that’s it…..

just buy the F***in avocados already

other than that you can’t really get any

more authentic. One thing I’ll give to Rubio

though is he is a savage, this is the guy who

decides to take a water break during a 14

minute nationally televised speech

basically….

#savage level 120%.

Ted Cruz ohh lets see is there a page limit for

this one… I mean just look at him he looks like

kermit the frog, he has the political

expertise of Bill Nye the Science guy (you

know the guy who’s not even a scientist but

has/had an entire show dedicated to

teaching kids science), and the highlight of

his political career was shutting down the

government costing tax payers 24 billion

dollars, also research suggests that he may

be related to bill cosby

(insert infographic here

…Yeah this would be an interesting one)

Also expert testimony from Chief legal

correspondent and sex icon Bill Cosby will

be used later to determine the legality of

Trumps Travel ban; who else would we

ask….the guy has selflessly devoted his

entire life to the court system…

#The moment when everyone knows your

guilty but your lawyer is not even human so it

doesn’t really matter what people think

Just Look at him I can’t think of anyone with

more integrity or popularity oh wait

What about Hillary Clinton you ask?

Despite being labeled as the most qualified

united States presidential Candidate in

history by previous presidential prodigy

barrack Hussein Obama II, many have

inexplicably expressed doubts as to her

leadership abilities

Let’s take a look at some of her

accomplishments as secretary of state

1. Losing 6 billion dollars at the state

department

2. Selling Uranium to the Russians through

her “charity”

Keep in mind that charity assumes a different

definition referring to an illegitimate

apparatus that embezzles money from the

United States government and other

governments under false pretenses of

foreign aid

3. Illegally deleting public records

4. Murdering an ambassador

Some argue that Hillary Clinton should have

been elected because she’s a woman… just

realize that’s like saying you should wipe

your a** with a floor mat Instead of toilet

paper in order to prevent deforestation.

What does this have to do with Hillary

Clinton you ask.. Nothing I just felt like

using A**, floor Mat, and deforestation in

the same sentence

Killcam instant replay….

Oh let’s see where were we…

Ted Cruz

That’s right….

Seriously Ted …..F*** off back to Canada you

would be more helpful over there.

Correct answer

C)Seeing as the length of the chart is only

0.001 inches in diameter, this is a clear

indication that Jeb Bush Really won the 2016

election

(Seriously F*** off SAT creators with your

completely irrelevant, off topic, flat out

retarded questions-------I couldn’t honestly

think of anything better to do on a Saturday,

than go back to school and dispose of a few

hours of my life so that when I’m done I am

rewarded with a state of mental exhaustion

comparable to someone having taken a brick

and repeatedly smashed it on my head-

seriously….I would like to meet the moron

who came up with standardized testing---------)

Oh wait that’s right it’s the college board

you know the not for profit organization

making an excess of 90 million dollars a year

whose CEO has an annual base salary of a

million dollars (not including additional

compensation for overtime).

#The integrity of the public education system

Breaking Update

A Wild Koala has escaped from the

Philadelphia zoo. Inside investigative

reporting has lead us to believe that the

koala, upset with his fellow koala tribe

Members took to the streets in protest of his

unfair treatment at the zoo. the koala set

off to explore the splendor and grandeur of

the streets of Philadelphia…The koala(Lets

call him jimmy so I don’t have to keep writing

koala) was offered a tour by one of the

local residents and together they skipped

through the streets off to explore ..Now

that story sounds a lot better than Jimmy

got hit by a bus, was mugged, or was captured

by animal control #IceCube”nigga talking

bout real life”

Now you’re probably asking yourself how

can a koala be mugged?

To which I would respond this is a

hypothetical story about a koala named

jimmy….what more do you want from me?

False alarm it was just john Oliver

But let’s get back to the subject at Hand

President Trump’s credentials

Trump the Family Man

One of trumps most prominent qualities is his

consideration for family members for

example As we clearly see in this photo

Trump is very concerned with making sure

Ivanka has a sound footing on stage…even

going so far as to look down to ensure the

platform is safe to walk on ….

#take some notes Gentlemen

In this photo, we can clearly see trump is

trying to remove the crinkles from ivankas’

shirt

Interesting

….very interesting…. Let’s consult expert

behavioral psychologists meek mill and rick

ross for more info on this photo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H030R

OB95AE

HITPOINTS over 9000

Trump’s Hands on approach

to Raising Children

1. His Unique Parenting philosophy is best

summarized by the following quote

“I’ll Supply the funds and she’ll take

care of the kids.”

-the donald

*End of Section*

Collections of Donald Trump Memes

Trump as the Business

Success story

Trump’s Business Success Strategy

1. Have a Rich Father

2. Get Loans from said Rich father

3. If failure occurs at any point in time it

doesn’t matter because your father is

rich

How to build a casino at ten percent of

the cost

1.Sign contracts

2. give contractors 10 percent down as

a gesture of good faith

3. when work is completed file for

bankruptcy and pay them nothing

Inspirational Quote- “Success is no

accident. It is hard work,

perseverance, Studying, and sacrifice”

or….you could just have a rich father,

….both are equally as effective…..

A natural winner

Trump airlines - Failed

Trump Marriages - Failed

Trump Casino - Failed

Trump Mortgages- Failed

Trump vodka- Failed

Trump University- Failed

Bankruptcies –Success…..4 and counting

Domestic Policy

Chicago I mean It’s a “C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E D-I-S-A-S-

T-E-R…..”

The rapists from Mexico are pouring in….

I know…lets dedicate 15 billion dollars to a

1000 mile long 21 foot tall border wall

because there’s no way they’ll get through…

I even constructed a model out of Legos and

nothing was able to get past the Lego wall….

With the exception of my lego catapult, but

I’m working on it…my sources tell me that

wemight have to make the wall taller

Refer to the following diagram

Map Key

=Flight path

Foreign policy

Does this really require any further

explanation?

Healthcare (A topic that is as desirable as

going to the dentist for a molar

extraction….you know it’s going to hurt like

a b**** and you’re going to be immobilized for

a few days,….but they give you free

mouthwash when you’re done so it all evens

out)

As republican congressman Paul Ryan

attempts to push Obamacare Lite…commonly

denoted as “the American Health Care Act”

or in more plain terminology “the federal

government has no idea what the h*** it’s

doing so were going to let the states figure

out Healthcare”

Side note- the American health care act has

also been referred to as the FTP act or in

other words “F**k the poor act”

Meanwhile….Trump is realizing that

healthcare is a very complex Issue… quote

“Who knew healthcare was so complicated”

Sooooo…….based on that statement we know

he’s not going to be of any use so let’s

examine our options here…

Maybe we should consult with Obama about

this…

Right because healthcare reform is what’s

on his mind right now ….

Anyway, at least something new will be

implemented….Just kidding even republicans

don’t support the new health care initiative

Lets put it like this…

its chances of getting passed are like my

chances of sprouting wings, flying to the

moon, and meeting Mat Damon# no disrespect

The Martian was a solid movie

In summary: U.S healthcare is a complete D—I-

S-A-S-T-E-R which is a reality that doesn’t look

like it’s going away anytime soon

Crime

I’m not a statistician here but does this make

any f***in sense whatsoever. You know it’s a

reliable source when A) Its featured on

Trump’s twitter page and B)In the actual

source there is a Black guy pointing a gun

with what looks like a turban on his head,

this statistic is almost as ridiculous as the

Black Lives Matter Movement

#####Kill Confirmed######

Presidential Staff

Babysitter

Big Brother

You had a playdate with Putin and I wasn’t

invited

***Your fired***

Best Friend

Secret crush

It’s complicated

Trumps Leadership abilities

One of trump’s most prominent qualities is his

reasonability and flexibility as a leader

Let’s take a look at popular hit tv show The

celebrity apprentice to get a better idea …

Someone doesn’t agree with what he says-

Fired

Someone uses unscrupulous business

practices to get ahead in the competition-

Fired (This isn’t a Trump impersonation

contest come on now)

Arnold Schwarzenegger-Fired

Miss universe winner who mistakes peony

flowers with a p*nis, making the mistake not

once but multiple times- hired

Marriage and relationship expert Piers

Morgan-Hired

Who the h*** is piers Morgan you ask?

Also….

Didn’t he get divorced like three times?

Shhhhhhhhh…. It’s a secret

Similarly…

But wait…………..

Anyways…..

What Trump has done so far

This page has been intentionally left blank..

Stop…do not pass go and do not collect $200

******Just kidding*****

Trump’s accomplishments so far

1. Getting a Travel Ban rejected…not

once….but Twice

2. Devoting government resources to

determining the exact size of the

inauguration crowd

3. Publically shaming Nordstrom for

revoking his daughters’ line of clothing

4. One of the only presidents whose press

secretary was impersonated by a

woman

5. Developed diplomatic issues with

Australia and threatened to invade

Mexico

6. Suggested that African American

abolitionist Frederick Douglas is still

alive

quote “Fredick douglas is an example of

somebody who’s done an amazing job

and is being recognized

more and more, I

noticed.”

So in summary….

He hasn’t done anything and the things

that he has done have been ignored,

rejected, or have created more

problems

However, some critics argue that

President Trump’s actions have brought

about some positive results….

For example, some have made the case

that he has spurred a new wave of

online technological innovation

For example, numerous

websites have been created to count

down the time remaining until the next

Presidential election …..

………………………………..

…..Wait a second…

Anyway….

.. that is assuming we are all still alive

come 2020

#Mayan doomsday prediction …The

extinction date that changes every year

and the only thing that is more

accurate or relevant is anything that

comes out of bill Myer’s mouth

ITS GANDALF… we found him, Frodo

(Just look at him)

#jewmania

However, word has it that magic

demigod sorcerer game of thrones

correspondent Nostradamus foretold

of a ruler with a string like substance

on his head….

#Trump’s presidential win prediction

confirmed

Sike…

(It’s called hair folks….don’t get too

excited)

Anyways back on track..

Trump’s love interests

Ivana trump, ben Carson, Marla maples,

melania knauss, anyone from the miss

universe pageant, judge Gorsuch

Okay….some of your results have been

omitted so that this section does not eclipse

the whole book

you get the picture… he’d basically f**k

anything that moves….

ALRIGHT THERE… DON’T GET TOO

IMAGINATIVE….

I’ll let you figure that one out….

Social etiquette icon

In this video trump demonstrates a proper

handshake….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-

I9810XB1Uk

Japanese Prime Minister- Let gooooooo….

Bitch…#this handshake would had been more

socially acceptable if you had just reached

for my d**k

Judge Gorsuch and Mike pence……did anyone

see my arm?

Moving on

The Weather forecast

Let’s take a look at our doplar radar

findings to gauge what the weather will be

like tomorrow….

It looks like high winds moving in from the

north folks… make sure to wear a jacket….

Likewise, a full supply of hair loss drugs

would also be effective

Things that resemble Donald Trump’s hair

(PLEASE NOTE THAT THE AUTHOR ATTEMPTED TO

INCLUDE EVERY SINGLE SOURCE REFERNCED

THROUGHOUT THE BOOK, HE CAREFULLY RECORDED

EVERY WEBSITE VISITED, THE TIME OF ACESS, WHETHER

OR NOT IT COULD BE COPYRIGHTED, THE RELATED

AUTHORS, ETC. THE SOURCES Are COMPILED BELOW)

CITATION

1. GOOGLE

2. EMINEM FOR INSPIRATION

3. YOUR MOTHER

(Citations are in MLA format)

If you are looking for APA format, the

citations are as follows…..

1. Don’t worry about it

Enjoyed this ..

look out for

Reasons why Hillary Clinton

would have made the greatest

president in human history

Or the alternate title…

Hillary clinton… the second

jesus?

Coming soon

Also if you would like more of these books

consider hitting your boy up

https://paypal.me/HMemegenerator/

This was created during school detracting

from valuable study time that could have

been used to find the inverse of a 3X3

matrix…what the hell do I look like keanu

reeves…explain to me how this would have

any use whatsoever for anything

#time well spent