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BullyingNoMore:ProtectingKidsFromBullyingandHighTechTroubles

Dr. Kimberly Mason November 10, 2016 

Whatwouldyoudo?

JuststopandTHINKforamoment…

…reallystopandthink

Whatareyourvaluesregardingbullying?

• Bullyingisjusta“normal”partofchildhood.

• Boyswillbeboys.• Girlsdon’tbully.• Victimsjustneedstolearnhowtostandupforthemselves.

• Victimsbringbullyingonthemselves.

• Bullyingthatisnotphysicaldoesnotcauseanyrealharm.

• Bulliesareunpopularandhavelowself‐esteem.

• Childrenwilloutgrowbullying.

• Wordswillneverhurtyou.

• Bullyingwillmakekidstougher.

• It’sonlyteasing.• Bulliedkidsneedtolearnhowtodealwithbullyingontheirown.(i.e.,adultsshouldstayoutofit).

KimMason

ReasonstoTakeBullyingSeriously

About22%ofchildreningrades6‐12areinvolvedinF2Fbullying.

About7%ingrades6–12havecyberbullied;text‐messagingandpostingpictureonlinemostcommonmethods(Zhang,Musu‐Gillette,&Oudekerk,2016)

Bullyingoccursonceevery7minutes(NEANationalStudyofBullying,2015).

Over160,000studentsmissschooleveryoutoffearofbullies(nces.ed.gov,2014).

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WhatisBullying…

• anunwanted,aggressivebehavioramongschool‐agedchildrenthatinvolvesarealorperceived powerimbalance;

• thebehaviorisrepeated,orhasthepotentialtoberepeated,overtime;

• thebehaviorintends tocausefear,distressand/orharmtoanotherperson’sbody,feelings,self‐esteem,orreputation

La Anti-Bullying Law - ACT No. 861

• Itismutual,harmlessandhealthysinceithelpskidsbuildrelationships,formbonds,navigatesocialsituations,anddevelopasenseofhumor.

• Observingnon‐verbalsiskey.

FriendlyTeasing

• Normalconflictimpliesthateachpersonisresponsibleforpartoftheproblem,isonequalfooting,andhasanequalchanceofresolvingtheissue.

Conflict

• Whenthejokebecomesarepeatedoccurrenceattheexpenseofsomeone’sfeelingsorpainandthemotiveistodiminishatarget’sself‐worththenitisconsideredbullying.Itmeanstoisolate,diminish,andteardown.

Bullying

• Alwayslinkedtoanti‐discriminationlawsandthuswillfocusongender,race,ethnicity,religion,belief,sexualorientation,ordisability.

• Maybeasingleincidentormultipleincidences.

Harassment

LookfortheSigns

ListentotheTone&Pitch

NoticetheReaction

Think:What’stheMotive

Investigate:Ask

Questions

Wheninvestigatingthedifferencebetweenteasingandbullyingfollow

thesesteps.

1. Iswhatisbeingsaidhurtingsomeone’sfeelings?2. Wouldyouwantsomeonetosaythataboutyou?3. Howdidotherpeoplereacttothecommentsmade?4. Whatwastheintentbehindthecomment?5. Howdidyoufeelwhenthepersonmadethecomment?6. Howdidthechildreacttothecomment?7. DidEVERYONE laughandsmile?

Bully

Target Bystander

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WhoAreChildrenthatBully?

• Theycomeinallshapes,sizes,races,andgender.

• Lowercompetenceinmanagingtheiremotions,beingempathetic,solvingproblems,and/orevaluatingtheconsequencesoftheiractions.

• HigherLevelsofConductProblems

• DislikeSchool/PoorSchoolAdjustment

• PositiveAttitudeTowardViolenceandUseofViolence

• Hot‐tempered;Impulsive

• StrongNeedtoDominate

• PositiveViewofThemselves

• GreaterEaseinMakingFriends

Power/Control • Theywanttofeelpowerful;torunthingsorbeincharge;tohaveittheirway,and/ortellotherswhattodo.

Belonging • Theywanttobeapartofthegroup;haveastrongneedtobeacceptedbypeers;feelloveandacceptedbytheirparents.

Freedom• Theydon’tbelievethattheyhavethefreedomtodothingsoractivitiesintheirlife,ortheirchoicesarelimited,andbybullyingtheyfeelfreetodowhatevertheychoose.

Fun • Theywanttohavefun.Theymayfeelgoodorbelievetheyareonlyplayingwhentheybully,orstatethetargetinitiatedit.

Survival/Revenge • Theybullyothersbecausetheyhavebeenbulliedorbelievetheyhavebeenwrongedinsomewayortreatedunfairly.

FeelInferior • Theybullybecausetheybelievetheycan’tdoanythingrightorunableorcan’tdothingswell.

AttentionSeeking • Theybullybecausetheywantanaudience;theywanttobenoticed;theycan’tgetenoughattentiontosatisfythem

7MotivesBehindBullyingBehaviors

WhoAreLikelyTargetsofBullying?

• “Passive”Targets‐ Displayvulnerablebehaviors.– Quiet,cautious,sensitive,sociallyisolated– Insecure,lessconfident,anxious,andhavelowself‐esteem

– Physicallyweakerthanpeers.• “Provocative”Targets

– getsangry,emotionallyupsetandtendstofightbackortryandextractrevengeinresponsetobullyingortauntsbypeers

– ADD,ADHD,ASD,clumsy,immatureordevelopmentallydelayed

• Oftenlessassertivechildren,mayseemweakoreasilydominated.

• LackSocialSkills• PoorSocialandEmotionalAdjustment• DifficultyMakingFriends/LackofFriends

EffectsofBullying

Targetsofbullyingexperiencefear,isolation,anxiety,anger,

hurt,andembarrassment.Theyhaveincreaseinhealth

concerns andwithdrawfromactivitiestheyonceenjoyed.

Researchindicatedinchildrenunder12whowerebullied,

thereisanincreasedriskofdevelopingpoormoodand

impulsecontrol,unstableandintensepersonalrelationships,

andseveredifficultytrustingtheactionsormotivesofothers.

(Wolke et al., 2012)

RecognizingtheWarningSignsofBullying Comehomewithtornordirty

clothing.

Comehomewithdamagedproperty,lossofmoney,lossofpersonalitems.

Theymayseemanxious,sad,moody,teary,withdrawn.

Loweredself‐esteem.

Frequentvisitstotheschoolnurseorofficecomplainingoffeelingsick‐wantstogohome.

Complainofchronicpainssuchasheadachesorstomachaches.

Theymayhavefewfriends(orspendlittleornotimewiththem).

Theyhavechangesinsleepingpatterns(eithertoomuchornotenoughsleep)orhavefrequentbaddreams.

Theymayloseinterestinschoolwork.

Theymaybereluctantorevenafraidtogotoschoolorothersocialactivities.

Amarkedchangeinattitude,dressorhabits.

Actingoutaggressionathome.

Missingorincompleteschoolwork,decreasedsuccessinclass.

TargetsReluctancetoReportBullying

• Fearretaliation.• Feelshameatnotbeingabletostandupforthemselves.

• Feartheywillnotbebelieved• Fearthatreportingtheincidentwouldworrytheirparents

• Donothaveconfidencethatanythingwouldchangeasaresult.

• Believetheirparents’orteachers’advicewouldmaketheproblemworse.

• Feartheirteacherwilltellthebullywhotoldonthem.

• Believeitwillbeworsetobethoughtofasasnitch.

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Bystandersarepresentinalmost85‐88%ofschoolbullyingsituations.

Whiletwo‐thirdsofkidssaytheyshoulddosomethingtostopabully,only1outof5

actuallydo.

Whenpeersintervene,bullyingstopswithin10seconds,57%ofthetime.

(NEA,2011)

RoleofBystanders

WhatisCyberbullying?

• AggressiveBehavior– Verbal– Psychological

• CarriedOut– RepeatedlyandOverTime

• ImbalanceofPower– Techie‐UsesTechnology

– PsychologicalControl

• BehaviorisIntendedtoHarmorDisturb

• DirectBullying– Directlysendsamessagetoother

• IndirectBullying– cyberbullyingbyproxybyusingotherstohelpcyberbullyatarget,withorwithouttheaccomplice’sconsent

Louisiana HB 1259: ACT 989 (2010): Cyberbullying

MotivesBehindCyber‐HarassmentInteraction

• Youdon’tknowme(dissociativeanonymity)– disinhibition– experimentationwithmultipleidentities

– senseofentitlement– Empowerment

• We’reequals(minimizingauthority)– levelsthepositionofpowerandstatus

– appearancesof"authority"minimized‐ peoplearemuchmorewillingtospeakoutormisbehave

– nofearofdisapprovalandpunishment

• Youcan’tseeme(illusionofinvisibility)– differentmoralvaluesandsocialexpectations

– reductionofsocialandcontextualcuesandtangiblefeedback

– underdevelopedempathyskills– instantgratification

• It’sjustagame(dissociativeimagination)– entertainment– massaudience– lackofimpulsecontrol– underdevelopedaninternalbehaviorcontrolmechanism

– ineffectiveproblemsolvingskills

DigitalSelf‐harm

• Digitalself‐harmisthewritingandpublicpostingofmean,hurtful,shamefulorabusivemessagesorothercontent(e.g.video)aboutoneselfordeliberatelydamagingone’sownonlineidentity.

• Sowhy9%ofhighschoolersreporttheyactuallycyberbulliedthemselves,butmadeitlookliketheywerebeingcyberbulliedbysomeoneelse.AccordingtoDr.DanaBoyd,itisa– Acryforhelp /attempttobenoticed

– Tolookcool/beimportant – whilethisisabitcounterintuitive,

Danaassertsthatinsomeschoolsyouhave“tobecooltogarner

hate/jealousy”

– Togainattentionofapeer.

– Totriggercompliments – negativecommentsonlinecancause

friendstojumpinwithpositiveresponsesandreassurance

RecognizingtheWarningSignsofCyberbullying

Spendlonghoursonthecomputer Closeswindowsontheircomputer

whenyouenterroom IssecretiveaboutInternetactivities Behavioralchanges Mayfindunexplainedlongdistance

telephonecallcharges Won'tsaywhotheyaretalkingto Mayfindunexplainedpictureson

computer Troublesleeping Stomachandheadaches Lackofappetite,throwingup Fearofleavingthehouse Cryingfornoapparentreason Storiesthatdon'tseemtomakesense

Lackofinterestatsocialeventsthatincludeotherstudents

Complainsofillnessbeforeschoolorcommunityeventsoften

Frequentvisitstotheschoolnurseorofficecomplainingoffeelingsick‐wantstogohome

Loweredself‐esteem Amarkedchangeinattitude,dressor

habits Unexplainedbrokenpersonal

possessions,lossofmoney,lossofpersonalitems

Actingoutaggressionathome Missingorincompleteschoolwork,

decreasedsuccessinclass

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Researchindicatesbullyingandcyberbullyingcan

underminethequalityoftheschoolenvironment,affect

students’academicandsocialoutcomes,causetargets

physical,emotionalandpsychologicaltrauma,and,in

extremecases,leadtoseriousviolenceandsuicide.

ImpactofBullying

(Fekkes et al., 2003; Finkelhor et al., 2000; Gatti, 2008; Hinduja & Patchin, 2010; Meadows, et al., 2005; National Crime Prevention Council , 2007; Obrien & Moules, 2010 ; Sourander et al., 2010;Vossekuil et al., 2002; Wolak et al., 2006; Ybarra &

Mitchell, 2007; 2004)

ParentTips• BeAwareofWarningSigns• DoNotOverreact

– GainInformation

• DoNotMinimize• TakeItSeriously• ListentoYourChild• WorkWiththeSchool• WorkonChild’sSocialSkills

T.A.L.K. (Tell,Ask,ListenandKeepsafe)

TheDon’tsofResponding

Don’t:• BetheVolcano– “Iamgoingstraighttotheschoolorpoliceorcontactthegirl’sparents”

• BetheCynic‐ “You’reover‐reacting”• BetheSteamRoller‐ They’reonlywords,donotlistentothem.”• BetheMartyr‐ “That’snothing,whenIwasakid…”• BetheBrickWall‐ “Youshouldhave…”“Iwouldhave…”• BetheInterrogator‐ “Iwanttoknoweverything”• BetheBully‐ “Stickupforyourself”“Ifyougetablackeyetheotherguybetterhavetwoblackeyes”

• BetheRescuer‐ “Leaveittome,I’lltakecareofit”

TheDo’sofResponding

Do:• DoBeInControlofYourEmotions– Staycalm• DoBeAGoodListener ‐ Donotjumptoconclusions• DoBeSupportive ‐ Seethechild’sside• DoBeEmpathic– Bullyingnotthechild’sfault• DoBetheValidator‐ Acknowledgehurtandpain• DoBeCuriousandInvestigative– Change“why”questionsinto“whator“how”questions

• DoBetheClarifier ‐ Restatefacts• DoBetheJournalist ‐ Beclearonthefacts• DoBetheTeacher‐ Teachsafetystrategies• DoBetheCollaborator‐ Involvechildintheprocess

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TheDo’sofResponding

• LetYourChildrenKnow:

– Thatyouarepleasedtheytoldyou

– Thatyoubelievethem

– Thatitisnottheirfault

– Thatyoudonotblameorfeeldisappointedin

them

– Youaresorryithappened

– Thatyouwillhelpwithsolutions

InitiateaConversation

• Herearesomedirectandsubtlequestionsthatcangetthediscussiongoing:– “I’mworriedaboutyou.Arethereanykidsatschoolwhomaybepickingonyouorbullyingyou?”

– “Arethereanykidsatschoolwhoteaseyouinameanway?”– “Arethereanykidsatschoolwholeaveyououtorexcludeyouonpurpose?”

– “Doyouhaveanyspecialfriendsatschoolthisyear?Whoarethey?Whodoyouhangoutwith?”

– “Whodoyousitwithatlunchandonthebus?”– “Arethereanykidsatschoolwhoyoureallydon’tlike?Whydon’tyoulikethem?Dotheyeverpickonyouorleaveyououtofthings?”

DiscovertheStory

• Considerthefollowingquestionsasyoulistentoyourchild’sstory.– Doesmychildneedmyhelporprotection?

– HowcanIhelpmychildstaysafe?– WhatinformationdoIneed?– WherecanIgoforhelp?

Makesureyourchildhassomeonehe/shecanconfidein.Ifyourchildfeelsyoudonotunderstand,suggestamoreneutralperson‐agrandparent,clergymember,a

coach,teacher,oradoctor.

Followthesedirectionstodocumentthebullyingincident(s)andfileanaccuratecomplaint:Youandyourchildshould…

• writedownwhathappened,• whereandwhenitoccurred,• thenameofthepeopleinvolved,• ifanyoneelsewitnessedtheincident,• whattacticswereused,• howshereacted,• howthebullyandbystandersresponded.

HowParentsCanIntervene

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Supervise

Have the computer in a shared space Keep access to children’s filesTalk about their computer useMonitor behavior and moodKeep talkingPromote responsibility-takingProvide scripts

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Contact the Service Provider

Mobile phone operatorInternet service providerChatroom providerUsually there is an abuse team contact 1

Preserve the Evidence

Preserve evidence, as this is crucial for making a case and identifying the bully.

Work with Police

Death threats or threats of other form of violence to a person or property; Any evidence ofsexual exploitation

Use Technology to Block

Get savvyUse Spyware and anti-virusUse Blocking, a filtering technology if available, e.g. blocking user on IM and make sure blocking is up-to-date

Work with School

Take Home School Agreements seriouslyGet in touch about concernsSupport with incidents

IfYourChildIsBeingBullied

Bethechild’ssoundingboard:Ask• Whatdidyouthinkwhenyourealizedwhathadhappened?

• Whatimpacthasthisincidenthadonyouandothers?

• Whathasbeenthehardestthingforyou?• Whatdoyouthinkneedstohappentomakethingsright?– Whathasyourchildtried?Whatworkedandwhatdidn’t?

• Howcanwemakesurethisdoesn’thappenagain?

• Whatcanwedotohelpyou?

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IfYourChildIsBeingBullied

• Somechildrenfinditworkstojustsaynothingand

walkaway.Atothertimes,itcanbemoreeffectiveto

laughatoneselfortousehumortodefusethe

situation.

• Encourageyourchildtogoimmediatelytoateacher,

principal,orothernearbyadultifheorshefeels

seriouslythreatened.

• TeachthethreeD’sforinvolvingadultstohelp.

– Ifsomethingisdangerous,destructive,or

disturbing,thentellanadult.

TeachVerbalSafetyStrategies• Don’tretaliateagainstthebullyortoletthebullyseehowmuchheorshehasupsetyourchild.Gettingaresponsejustreinforcesthebullyingbehavior.

• Speakuptointimidatethebully.Donotbetimid,hesitant,orwhiny.

• Teachthemtoavoidusingjokes,makingsarcasticcomments,orinsultingthebullytotrytoprovethatthereisnothingthebullycandotohurtyourchild’sfeelings.

• Brainstormwithyourchildtodevelopsomeeffectiveresponses.

• Thenrole‐playdifferentapproachesandresponseswithyourchildsothatheorshewillbepreparedthenexttime.

TeachVerbalSafetyStrategies• Usefogging(admitthecharacteristic)insoft,butfirmcomebacks.– Bullysays– “Tina,yousurearefat.”– Childsays,“You’reright,Ineedtoloseweight.”

• Admittheobvious(pointoutthatthebullyseestheobvious).– Bullysays,“Zitface.”– Childsays,“Wow!ShenoticedIhavezits.”

• Useasenseofhumor(remember,don’tmakethebullyfeellikeheorsheisbeinglaughedat)suchas– Bullysays,“Yousuredohavealotofzitsonyourface.”– Childsays,“Iknow,sometimesIfeellikeIamapepperonipizza.”

TeachCognitiveSafetyStrategies

• PositiveSelf‐talk– “Inawhiletheseunpleasantfeelingswillpass.Acceptthemandcalmdown.”

• Copingself‐talk– “Idonotrequiretheapprovalofanyone,exceptmyself,tobehappy.”

• “Boss‐backtheFear”– Childbossesthefearoranxietyoutusingpuppetsoratoy.Shout“IamstrongerthanmyfearandI’mbrave.”

• Focusonapositiveobjectandcalmdown.Havethemtheirarmsandlegsandfeelthetensionslowlydissolve.

TeachEmotionalSafetyStrategies

• Showminimalemotionalreactionstothebullyingbyholdinghurtfeelingsorotheremotionalreactionsinfrontofthebully(atleastuntilsheisinasafeplacetodoso).– Awordofcaution‐ thereisadownsidetothisstrategy.

• Actbraveandconfident• Stooping,avoidingeyecontact,fidgeting,andsimilargesturesshowthatyourchildlacksconfidence.

• Lookcalm– “actasif”– Standtall,don’tcryorrunoff,don’tshiftgazedownandlookaround,

• Don’tcryandrunoff.Insteadmovecloser,turnsideways,andhavenon‐threateningeyecontact.

• Keepfacialexpressionsneutral

TeachBehavioralSafetyStrategies

• Don’tretaliateagainstthebully• Controlbreathing– blowbubblesoruseapinwheelordandelionstoslowbreathing.

• Relaxationexercises• Self‐defense/Maritalarts

• Ifbullyingoccursonthewaytoorfromschool,yourchildmaywanttotakeadifferentroute,leaveatadifferenttime,orfindotherstowalktoandfromschoolwith.

• Ifbullyingoccursatschool,yourchildmaywanttoavoidareasthatareisolatedorunsupervisedbyadults,andstickwithfriendsasmuchaspossible.

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EncourageGroupInvolvement

Studiesshowchildrenwho

interactwiththeirpeersareless

likelytobebullied.

TeachBehavioralSafetyStrategies

• Encourage your child to form strong friendships. A child or teen who has loyal friends is less likely to be singled out by a bully, and they can be valuable allies if your child is targeted.

• If your child lacks friends, help him or her to develop more friendships. Encourage your child to participate in positive social groups that meet his or her interests, such as after-school groups, church groups, extra-curricular activities, or teams.

• In addition to helping your child make friends, these activities can help to develop your child’s special skills and rebuild his or her self-confidence.

TeachBehavioralSafetyStrategies

IfYourChildIsBullyingOthers• TaketheProblemSeriously

– Ifyoulearnthatyourchildisbullyingothers,sitdownandtalkwithyourchildimmediately.

• AcceptNoExcuses&HoldAccountable– Giveyourchildanopportunitytoexplainhis/herbehavior,butdonotacceptanyexcusesorjustifications.

– Makeitclearthatbullyingwillnotbetolerated• ApplyConsequences

• Donotusephysicalpunishment• Outlinetheconsequencesforfurtherunacceptablebehavior.

• Thebestconsequencesarethosethataretaskorientedandarefromwhichthechildlearnssomething.

• Iftheproblemisoccurringatschool,tellyourchildyousupporttheschool’srighttopunishhim/herifthebehaviorpersists.

IfYourChildIsBullyingOthers…• STOP

– Thinkaboutyourpersonalvalues.Whatareyourbeliefsaboutthewayothersshouldbetreated?

• THINK– Aboutyourreasonsforbullyingandalternativewaystoexpressyourfeelings.

• DECIDE– Thinkabouthowyouractionsmightaffectothers

TEACHTHEMTHEYHAVEACHOICE!

IfYourChildIsBullyingOthers

Investigatebyasking:• Whathappened?• Whatwereyouthinkingatthetime?• Whathaveyouthoughtaboutsince?• Whohasbeenaffectedbywhatyouhavedone?Inwhatway?

• Whatdoyouthinkyouneedtodotomakethingsright?

• Howcanyoudothingsdifferentlyinthefuture?• Whatcanwedotohelpyou?

IfYourChildIsBullyingOthers• Increaseyoursupervisionofyourchild’sactivitiesandwhereabouts,andknowwhoyourchildisspendingtimewith.Makeanefforttoobserveyourchildinone‐on‐oneinteractions.

• Stopanyshowofaggressionimmediatelyandhelpyourchildfindother,nonviolentwaysofreactingtocertainsituations.– Praiseyourchildforappropriatebehaviors.

• Ifthebullyingcontinues,youneedtoseekhelpforyourchild.– Talktoyourchild'spediatrician,teacher,principal,oryourfamilyphysician.Ifthebullyingcontinues,acomprehensiveevaluationbyachildandadolescentpsychiatristorothermentalhealthprofessionalshouldbearranged.Theevaluationcanhelpyouandyourchildunderstandwhatiscausingthebullyingandhelpyoudevelopaplantostopthedestructivebehavior.

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IfYourChildIsBullyingOthers

TeachSocialAwareness• Empathy&Perspectivetaking

– Encourageyourchildtotrytounderstandhowthebullyingfeelstohis/hertarget.

– Bulliesoftenhavetroubleempathizingwiththeirtargetssoitisimportanttodiscusswithyourchildhowbullyingfeels.Howwouldyourchildfeelifithappenedtohim/her?

– Ifyouorsomeoneclosetoyouhasbeenbulliedinthepast,youmightwanttosharethestorywithyourchild,discussingtheemotionalimpact.

TeachSelf‐Management• ImpulseControl• Emotional‐Regulation• Decision‐Making

IfYourChildIsBullyingOthersMutualProblemSolving

• WhendiscussingproblemswithanotherpersontoreachresolutionremembertheacronymTRIBE.– TRIBE

•T – Tellwhat’sup(tellyoursideoftheproblem)

•R – ReflectivelyListen(don’tinterrupt)

• I – Identifywhat’simportanttoyouandtheotherperson

•B – BrainstormSolutions

•E – EvaluatethePlanofAction

IfYourChildIsBullyingOthersTeachAngerManagement

• Wecandiffusesomeoneelse’sangerbyusingthefollowing:– Listen – Lettheangrypersonvent….don’targuewithhimorher.

– Relax – Dealwithyourownemotions…don’tgetdefensive.Ownyouranger…..Sayitoutloudwhatmakesyouangry.

– Paraphrase – Restatewhatweheard,reflectingthecontentofthemessageandthefeelingsbehindit,tomakesuretheotherpersonknowsweunderstand.

– ProblemSolve ‐ Whatcanbedonetomakethingsbetter?• Reframetheproblem;trytolookatsituationsasbothchallengesandopportunities.

Releaseordissolveangryfeelingsthroughvigorousexercise.

Whichformofexerciseappealstoyou?

Fast walking

Riding my bike

Football Baseball

Jumping Rope Lifting Weights

Martial Arts Swimming

Singtocontrolangryemotions

• “WhenYou'reHappyandYouKnowIt.”Substitutethefollowingwords:

WhenYou’reAngryandYouKnowIt,Verse1– StopandThink!Verse2– TalktoaFriendVerse3– GoForaWalkVerse4– JiggleYourBody

WhenYou’reAngryandYouKnowIt,StopandThink!

WhenYou’reAngryandYouKnowIt,There’saPeacefulWaytoShowit,

WhenYou’reAngryandYouKnowIt,StopandThink!

WhenyouareANGRYandUPSETremember…

1‐2‐3TURTLE

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1– Goinsideyourshell• THINKbeforeyouACT• Takea“TimeOut”

2– Take3DeepBreaths

• TimetoRELAX• Calmyourselfdown

3– WalkAway• Thinkofagoodsolution

Suicideriskmaybesubstantiallymediatedbyotherfactors.

(Gouldetal.2003,Shafferetal.,1996;Brentetal.,1993).

Web2.0Tools‐ Howfamiliarareyou?

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Web2.0Tools‐ Howfamiliarareyou?

• MastertheBasic• SurftheWeb• SocialNetworking• ManageMedia• FindInformation• Email• StayingSafe• Glossary

www.learnthenet.com

4ll uhu tlk boutme,tnx 4makinMEDctr ofur wrld!

fucn readdisthN udowA 2muchtxtmsgN!

ChatTranslators

http://www.lingo2word.com/www.teenchatdecoder.com

netling.comnoslang.comacronymfinder.comnetlingo.com

• UrbanDictionaryisthedictionarypeoplewrite.• 7,321,437 DEFINITIONSSINCE1999

Griefer• someone,usuallyinanonlinegame,whointentionallyandrepeatedlyattemptstodegradeanotherperson’sexperienceortormentsthatperson.

Example:– InanMMORPG,agriefermightrunaroundaspawnlocationshootingnewbies.

http://www.urbandictionary.com

SocialMediaSitesTeensAreUsing• Instagram‐ editandpostphotostakenontheirphone,andtheimagesarepublicly

visiblebydefault• Snapchat ‐ sendmessages,mainlyphotos&videos;destroyedsecondsafter

received• Twitter‐ tweetsorTexts;postupdatesin140charactersorless• Whisper–messagingsystemwithanonymousaccounts• Pheed ‐multi‐platform (allformsofdigitalcontentin420characterorless)• Ask.fm–questionandanswerformat;submitanonymously• Qooh.me‐ askyouanonymousquestions• Vine‐ createandpost6‐secondvideos• KiK – smartphonemessengersystem;onlyphotos&videos• Oovoo ‐ communicatethroughfreeinstantmessaging,voice,&videochat• Reddit ‐ userssubmitlinksortext,whicharevotedupordownbyotherusers• 4Chan‐ postimagesonbulletinboards,&anyonecancomment(similartoReddit)• Tumblr‐ blogging;photo,audio,andvideopostsareoftenre‐sharedfromother

sites• Voxer ‐ walkie‐talkie‐typeappformessaging• Creepy– geotagging;trackanyoneonamap

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• Textingservicethatletsteenschatandswappictureswhilebypassingtheirwirelessprovider’sSMSservice.

• OnInstagram,kidsoftensay“kik me."Whatthismeans,is“sendmeatextmessageusingKik.”It’sawayforkidstotalkofflineratherthanpubliclyonInstagram.

Whisper

• Userssetupanonymousaccountstomaketheirmessagesorconfessionsoverlapanimageorgraphic(similartoe‐postcards),whichotheruserscanthen"like,"share,orcommenton.

• Geolocation

Snapchat

• Allowsthesendertosetatimelimitforhowlongrecipientscanviewthesendersphoto,textorvideomessages.

• Automaticallyself‐destructsintensecondsorless.

• Snapchatrecentlystartedofferinga“stories”feature;willallowsphotostolastforupto24hours.

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ProblemswithAsk.fm

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(c)2011,RussellA.Sabella,Ph.D. 73

PollingBooths– Reddit or4Chan

The process of adding geographical identification to photographs, video, websites and SMS messages.

Honesty Box

Geotagging

InteractiveGaming‐ RPG'sMMORPG(MassiveMultiplayerOnlineRole‐PlayingGame)

• 97%ofteens(12‐17)playcomputer,web,portable,orconsolegames.

• 27%ofteens(12‐17)playgameswithpeopletheydon’tknowonline.

• CommunicatebychatandliveInternetphonewithanyonetheyfindthemselvesmatchedwithinagameonline.

• Kidsverballyabusetheotherkids,usingthreatsandlewdlanguage

• Lockothersoutofgames,passingfalserumorsaboutthemorhackingintotheiraccounts.

Whatcanitmeanifhistory,keywordortemporaryInternetfilesarecleared?

• Install extra security such as blocking, filtering, and key logging software. – Net Nanny

– CyberPatrol

– Safe Eyes

– CyberSitter

– PC Tattletale

ParentalControlSoftware

For Internet Filter Reviews visithttp://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/?ttreng=1&ttrkey=internet+filter

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ParentalControlSoftwareuKnowKids

Real‐timeanalysisofyourchild’ssocialandmobileactivitiesinaneasy‐to‐useonlineormobiledashboard.

Reviewtextmessages,callhistory,apps,andphotosonyourchild’sAndroid.Seephotosandcontactsonan

iPhone

KeepCurrentOnSocialMediaActivityWithuKnowKids youcanviewuploadedimagesthatyourchildpublishesorpoststoInstagram.Allofhisorher

pictureswillbecollectedanddisplayedinourdashboard

FamilyLocatortoolsforAndroidandiPhonelet’sparentsscheduleautomatic“check‐ins”andset

“geofences”toreceivealertswhenyourchildentersorleavesthegeofenced area.

www.uknowkids.com

ParentalControlSoftwareforMobilePhones

MobileSpyandMobileNannyisahybridsoftware/servicewhichallowsyoutomonitoryourchild'scompatiblephoneinrealtime.Thisuniquesystemallowsyoutomonitoractivitiesonlineandblockactivitiesyoudonotwantto

happen.

Silently recordeverySMSmessage.Viewinformationabouteverycall.SeeGPSpositionseverythirtyminutes.Viewallphotosand videostakenbythephone.Seeallthelogresultsin

yourSSLSecuredonlineaccount.

www.mobilespytool.comwww.mobilenanny.com

ParentalControlSoftwareforMobilePhones

TeenSafeThefirstiPhone(iPhoneandAndroidphones)monitoringsolutionthatworkswithoutmodifyingthechild’sphone.Thesoftwareallowsparentstomonitortheirchildren’stextmessages,location,web

browsinghistory,contactsandcalllogstokeeptheirchildrenfrombecomingvictimsof

cyberbullying.Currentlyanonlineservice.

TeenSafe’s monitoringsoftwarecanbepurchasedfor$14.95permonth.A7‐days

freetrialisavailable

www.teensafe.com

CircumventingtheSystems

• Peacefire.orgistheworld'slargestdistributionnetworkforproxysitestocircumventInternetcensorship

• 2.2millionsubscribersasofApril2011

• Filteringoptionsrestrictaccess;however,studentsarecircumventingthesystems

• Studentarecircumventingfilterswww.freeproxy.ru/en/free_proxy/cgi‐proxy.htm;www.proxify.com;www.vtunnel.com;http://proxy.orgunblockmyspace.com;www.guardster.com;www.ztunnel.com;

• ForExample:HowtoinstalltheCircumventorprogram,whichgetsaroundallWeb‐blockingsoftware.

• IsMouseMatrix.comalreadyblockedforyoubecauseit'sbeenwidelyknownforsolong?Thisishowyoucreate(clickembeddedlink)yourownsemi‐privateURLforgettingaroundblockingsoftware.

CyberBully Alert–www.cyberbullyalert.com

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(c)2011,RussellA.Sabella,Ph.D. 85

www.safesocial.com

• You'llknowwhereyourkidshavesocialnetworkingaccounts• Displaysthepicturesthechildistaggedin• Showswhotheyarefriendswithonline.• Checksouttheironlinefriendsagainstmorethan50databases• Automaticallynotifiedifdangeroussituationsorinappropriatewordsarementionedinposts(triggerwordsinclude"drug,""suicide"or"violence")

Find everythingaboutyouonline&Protect yourpersonaldataRemoveyourpersonalinformationoffpeoplesearchdatabasesand

controlyourmailboxfromunwantedmailwithMyPrivacy.($7.95/month)

BullyingNoMore:UnderstandingandPreventingBullying

InBullyingNoMore,Dr.KimberlyL.Masonoffersanarsenaloftechniquestoendthecycleofbullying.Ratherthanassigningblameanddolingoutpunishment(responsetacticswhichrarelyworkinthesecases),Masonfocusesonchangingbehaviorbyrepairingrelationships.

Thisdown‐to‐earth,yetcomprehensiveguidewillhelpreaders:• Recognizethesignsandthedifferentformsofbullying• Understandthethreemainrolesthatchildrenplayin

bullying• Decipherthemythsandfactsaboutbullying• Putproveninterventionandpreventionstrategiesintouse• Communicatemoreeffectivelywithchildren

Coveringaspectsofbullyingforallagesandtakingintoaccountmodernformsviaonline,socialmedia,andsmartphonevideoandphotousage,thistimelybookwillbeaninvaluableresourceforparents,educators,youthleaders,oranyoneelsewhodealswithkidsonaregularbasiswhowanttointerveneandprotectchildrenfromtheharmfuleffectsofbullying.

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Iknowthatit’snotalwayseasytokeepyourchinupwhen

dealingwithchallengingpeopleorsituationsthathurtor

harmyourchildren.Ithankyouforcomingtodaytohelp

yourchildrenbesafeandsuccessfulinschoolandinlife.Your

involvementintheirlifehasapositiveimpactontheirsuccess

andwell‐being.

BullyingNoMore:ProtectingKidsFromBullyingandHighTechTroubles

KimberlyMason,Ph.D.,LPC‐S,NCC

WaldenUniversityKimberly.Mason3@Waldenu.edu

• Itismutual,harmlessandhealthysinceithelpskidsbuildrelationships,formbonds,navigatesocialsituations,anddevelopasenseofhumor.

• Observingnon‐verbalsiskey.

FriendlyTeasing

• Normalconflictimpliesthateachpersonisresponsibleforpartoftheproblem,isonequalfooting,andhasanequalchanceofresolvingtheissue.

Conflict

• Whenthejokebecomesarepeatedoccurrenceattheexpenseofsomeone’sfeelingsorpainandthemotiveistodiminishatarget’sself‐worththenitisconsideredbullying.Itmeanstoisolate,diminish,andteardown.

Bullying

• Alwayslinkedtoanti‐discriminationlawsandthuswillfocusongender,race,ethnicity,religion,belief,sexualorientation,ordisability.

• Maybeasingleincidentormultipleincidences.

Harassment