radio footsteps on deck

Footsteps On Deck

By

Davo McConville

2010 Davo McConville www.newartplease.com

[email protected]

07796 387963

FOOTSTEPS ON DECK

Scene: 1

(AT SEA)

SOUND: WAVES SWAYING

SOUND: FOGHORN

BARBARA

(DISTANT)

Frank? Oh Frank? Where are you hiding?

FRANK

(CLOSE)

(SINGING)

Oh give me a home, where the buffalo roam, where the

deer and the antelope play...

BARBARA

(DISTANT)

Frank, I can hear you singing.

You’re not doing your Lone Ranger bit, are you? Pining

for the plains of Sheffield.

FRANK

Barbara.

Up here.

I’m on the top deck.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS ON LADDER

SOUND: HEAVY BREATHING

BARBARA

Goodness me.

It’s a small boat but miles to get round.

FRANK

Different rules at sea, Bar.

Should have learnt that by now.

Specially at night.

BARBARA

Too much motion. I like my land to stay still.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 2.

BARBARA (cont’d)(BEAT)

What a glorious view, Frank.

The stars look like nothing else... I’ve never seen

them like this back home.

So pure... such a clear view.

FRANK

The motion’s important, you see.

Gives us something special.

Middle of the Indian ocean is a good spot.

BARBARA

Good spot for what?

FRANK

For. For thinking.

And being.

Two separate activities, you do them right.

BARBARA

So what are you thinking about, Frank?

FRANK

Right now I’m concentrating on being.

Emptying out.

Absence of thought.

Not thinking so much. Emptying. Absence of thought.

How’s everyone doing?

BARBARA

Well, the Italian tourists are in bed for the night..

FRANK

Good; I’m sick of the sight of them. What did they

expect?

BARBARA

I’m not-

FRANK

There’s not much to see, India to Madagascar. Open seas

all the way. A non-event. Time passes.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 3.

BARBARA

They’re fine, Frank. Don’t worry about it. They’re

just.. excitable, excited. They’ll be ok.

FRANK

I don’t like it.

BARBARA

Don’t like?

FRANK

Having to take on passengers. That’s not our job.

BARBARA

Frank, whatever it takes.

FRANK

No, no. You’re right. Of course. Listen, don’t listen

to me.

BARBARA

To you? Never.

FRANK

Where’s Holly?

BARBARA

She’s checking the cargo. Feeding them for the night.

FRANK

Civets. They stink.

BARBARA

Boo hoo. I’ll bring you a clothes peg for your nose, if

you’d like.

FRANK

(AMUSED)

I won’t need it.

BARBARA

Nope, you’re a toughie.

FRANK

With a heart of gold. We’ll get these animals to where

they’re going.

BARBARA

I really appreciate this, you know.

FRANK

It’s nothing. I’m happy to help.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 4.

BARBARA

It’s important. We need to reintroduce the species to

the island.

FRANK

What happened to them?

BARBARA

Oh, we did. Deforestation. The usual drill. Can’t be

stopped, humans.

FRANK

Humans are a species I don’t have much time for.

BARBARA

Another one? The sea’s the right place for you, then,

isn’t it?

FRANK

Population; me.

SOUND: SEAGULL SQUAWKS

BARBARA

We’re near Africa already?

FRANK

Making good time. We’re curving round past Oman,

towards the Seychelles.

BARBARA

But not stopping, eh? No rest for the wicked.

FRANK

I... we’ll sail this tug to an island paradise and

build houses out of it one day.

BARBARA

(LAUGHS)

I wouldn’t want to intrude on your dream, Frank. On

that note, I’m turning in to have some dreams of my

own. Is Steve on watch tonight?

FRANK

No, it’s me till the morning.

BARBARA

Alright, then. Good luck. There’s a fresh pot of coffee

on, but we’re out of cream.

FRANK

I take it black, anyway.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 5.

BARBARA

Right you are.

(OFF)

Goodnight, Frank..

FRANK

Goodnight.

(CLOSE)

(SINGING)

Home, home on the range..


Scene: 2

(INSIDE MAIN DECK)

SOUND: WOOD CREAKING

STEVE

Evening, Frank! All well up deck?

FRANK

Hello, Steven. Very well. The boat steers herself, on a

sea like this.

STEVE

I’ve checked the riggings, we’re safe for the night.

FRANK

And the cargo?

STEVE

Animal cages secure; tourist cages secure as well.

SOUND: WHEEL TURNING

FRANK

All fed and watered?

STEVE

Yes, boss.

FRANK

Great guns. You can call it a night, if you’re ready.

STEVE

I think that I might. 4 o’clock to change shifts?

FRANK

4 it is.


(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 6.

ANGELO

(OFF)

Ahoya-hoy.

FRANK

I thought you said they were in for the night.

ANGELO

(OFF)

Ha-lo-a? Is anybody here?

STEVE

I thought they were.

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS ON DECK

ANGELO

Ah, capitano, good that I find you.

FRANK

What can I do for you, Mr. Angelo?

ANGELO

We have problem in our room. The walls is wet.

FRANK

Wet walls? Well, can’t be having that. Steven?

STEVE

I’ll come and check it out, Angelo.

ANGELO

Thank you, thank you. My wife, Nadia, she has trouble;

it making her side of the bed wet also.

STEVE

That’s no good. Is it happening in Lucho’s cabin, too?

ANGELO

I do not know, I’m sorry.

FRANK

No, we’re sorry, Angelo. We want this ride to be as

comfortable as possible for you.

STEVE

I’ll go down and check. This way, Angelo.

ANGELO

(OFF)

Ah, thank you, thank you. Good night, capitano.


(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 7.

FRANK

(CLOSE)

Because if you’re comfortable, then you’re not in our

way...

SOUND: FOGHORN

FRANK

(CLOSE)

Lights out, boat. Goodnight, all. Just me and you,

Madame Mer. I’ll be careful on our travels. Just show

me the path, show me the gentlest troughs to plough.

SOUND: LARGE WAVE CRASHES

FRANK

(CLOSE)

A warning shot? No, not tonight. There’s a clear sky

and a flat horizon. Nothing to do but sit back and take

stock of the world.

SOUND: GUITAR STRINGS

FRANK

Mind if I regale you with songs of the West? No, I

didn’t think so.

(FRANK SINGS A COWBOY SONG, STOPPING ABRUPTLY)

FRANK

’Ey up, what’s this, here?

SOUND: DISTANT BOAT MOTOR

SOUND: CUPBOARD OPENING

FRANK

Binoculars, binoculars. Who’s run off with ’em?

SOUND: OBJECTS FALLING FROM CUPBOARD

FRANK

Blast and steel.

STEVE

(OFF)

Frank! Frank? You alright, up there?

FRANK

Steve, listen.

(PAUSE)

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 8.

STEVE

(OFF)

To what? To you? What is it, Frank?

FRANK

Not to me, outside, outside the boat, listen!

SOUND: DISTANT BOAT MOTOR

STEVE

(OFF)

I hear it. A speedboat, a motorboat.

FRANK

Coming closer. Listen, get Holly, get down the bottom

deck. Send Olive up here, with a weapon, and you secure

the bottom deck, make sure the cargo’s safe in case

things get rough.

STEVE

(OFF)

I’m going!


FRANK

And get a weapon for yourself!

SOUND: TAPPING

FRANK

(CONT.)

I just pray you don’t need it.

Scene: 3

(INSIDE CABINS)

SOUND: KNOCKING ON A WOODEN DOOR

STEVE

Hol? Holly? You up?

HOLLY

(OFF)

Eargh.

STEVE

I’ll take that as a yes.

SOUND: DOOR OPENING

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 9.

HOLLY

(SLEEPY)

I didn’t say come in. I’m in bed!

STEVE

Well, time to get up, Holly-

HOLLY

(MUFFLED)

Is it blast. I’m not on duty till 4. I know my rights.

STEVE

There’s a boat approaching.

HOLLY

(ALERT)

What kind?

STEVE

A motorboat. Must have come from a mainland.

HOLLY

Pirates?

STEVE

I’m sure, pirates.

SOUND: HOLLY FALLS OUT OF BED, PUTS CLOTHES ON

STEVE

Ah, could have warned me.

HOLLY

No modesty aboard ship, Steve. You know that. Besides,

I’ve seen your all.

STEVE

You’ve what-?

HOLLY

Come on, come on! We’ve got to get ready. Got the guns?

STEVE

No, not yet.


10.

Scene: 4

(ABOVE DECK)

SOUND: RADIO CRACKLING

FRANK

Come in, coastguard. This is the Diana Dors, over.


(THE COASTGUARD IS AMERICAN)

COASTGUARD

(D)

We read you, Diana, over.

FRANK

We’re going to need some help, here. Pirates

approaching, over.

COASTGUARD

(D)

Can you give me your position, over?

FRANK

5 degrees 26 minutes North, 58 degrees 16 minutes East.

COASTGUARD

(D)

Roger, double-D. Taskforce ships will be with you as

soon as possible. Hold steady for now, unless you can

outrun them, over.

FRANK

Not an option, coastguard. Will keep you updated, over

and out.


FRANK

(CLOSE)

You coming, are you? If you’re coming then come. I’ve

no time for this canoodling before the main event...

BARBARA

Talking to yourself? A sure sign of stress, captain.

FRANK

I’m talking to them, if only they’d listen.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 11.

BARBARA

No sign of them turning back, then?

FRANK

No, it looks like they’re headed straight for us. I’m

sure they hope we’ve got something good on board.

BARBARA

And I’m sure they don’t have any use for civets.

FRANK

I can’t wait to spoil their surprise.

BARBARA

Frank! These poor people obviously don’t know any

better.

FRANK

They touch my boat, they’ll definitely learn better.

Fast.

BARBARA

It’s not you or your boat they want.

FRANK

Why are we having this conversation? They’re coming

here, to attack us. We have a job to do. So do

something useful. Do you have your gun?

BARBARA

I... I do.

FRANK

Right. If you have to use it, you will. It may not come

to that.

BARBARA

I hope not.

FRANK

It’ll be ok.

BARBARA

It will?

FRANK

I promise it will. I won’t let our people get hurt.

BARBARA

I know you won’t, captain.

SOUND: MOTOR GETTING CLOSE

12.

Scene: 5

(BELOW DECK)

SOUND: KNOCKING ON A WOODEN DOOR

STEVE

Señors y señoritas, andalay!

HOLLY

Steve, that’s Spanish.

STEVE

And?

HOLLY

Our guests are Italian.

STEVE

Oh. Well, what’s the difference, just drop the ’essss’

sounds, right?

HOLLY

I have no idea.

ANGELO

(OFF)

Hello?

STEVE

Mr. Pellici, we have to get you out of bed, I’m afraid.

SOUND: DOOR OPENING

ANGELO

(SLEEPY)

Hello? Is morning? No, is still night.

STEVE

Get Nadia and Lucho, we must go downstairs.

ANGELO

Downstairs?

HOLLY

Please, Mr. Pellici, hurry! There are pirates.

ANGELO

Pirates?

STEVE

Piratés! Arrrr, you know?

SOUND: STAMPING ON DECK

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 13.

ANGELO

Ah! Banditos!

SOUND: ANGELO DRESSING

ANGELO

Nadia, Lucho, aumentare voi.

NADIA

(SLEEPY)

Perché?

ANGELO

Ci sono i pirati!

LUCHO

Ay, mio dio. Può non dormo mai?

ANGELO

Fretta, Fretta.

HOLLY

Why did you stamp on the deck?

STEVE

You know, pirates.

HOLLY

Pirates?

STEVE

Peg-legs and that.

HOLLY

You’re a riot, Steve. It’s like someone plugged you in

the wrong way.

STEVE

You just don’t understand my humour. Luddite.

HOLLY

That’s- that’s not what that means.

STEVE

See? There you go again.

ANGELO

We are ready, Steve.

STEVE

Ok, let’s go. We all need to get downstairs. Down to

the civets...

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 14.

HOLLY

Hold your nose, all ye who enter here...


Scene: 6

(TOP CABIN)

SOUND: CLOSE BOAT MOTOR

FRANK

(CLOSE)

They’re practically on top of us. Olive, are you ready?

OLIVE

Ready, Frank.

FRANK

We need to take out at least the first wave of them, to

stand a chance. If any get knocked into the sea, all

the better.

OLIVE

I can do that.

FRANK

I know you can, Olive. You’re a star.

OLIVE

Thank you, Frank.

FRANK

Right. Kill the lights. They’re alongside now.

SOUND: LARGE SWITCH

SOUND: LIGHTS DIMMING

OLIVE

(CLOSE)

I can see them. They’re at the ladder.

FRANK

(CLOSE)

Of course they are. We’ll show them, Olive. We’ll show

them.

SOUND: FEET ON METAL LADDER

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 15.

FRANK

Wait for it... closer, come closer...

OLIVE

I think, now.

FRANK

Not yet, wait.. wait..

(BEAT)

Now.

SOUND: STRAINING ROPE

SOUND: ROPE BEING CUT

SOUND: HEAVY OBJECT SWOOSHES THROUGH THE AIR

FRANK

(WHISPER)

Bingo.

SOUND: HEAVY THUD

SOUND: SCREAMS

SOUND: SPLASH OF BODY ON THE WATER

FRANK

Hands up! All of you, hands up in the air!

BARBARA

(OFF)

Drop it! Drop that weapon! Now!

OLIVE

You’re not taking Frank’s boat.

SOUND: PUNCH

SOUND: SHOUT

SOUND: GUNSHOT

FRANK

(SHOUT)

None of you move. We have you surrounded. Are we all

ok?

AISHA

Please, please help him!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 16.

BARBARA

I’m hit.

FRANK

You’re hit?! Where-

BARBARA

I’m ok, I’m ok. It’s a flash wound. The bullet skimmed

me.

FRANK

You shot my first mate.

AISHA

Help him, help him.

FRANK

Help? Help who?

BARBARA

(OFF)

Frank, we have them. They’re down, they’re down.

AISHA

(CRYING)

You need to help him, help him please, please...

KHADRA

Asad!

BARBARA

The one that went overboard..

KHADRA

He cannot swim!

FRANK

You shoot my crew member, and ask for my help. Is that

all of them? Check the boat, Olive.

AISHA

Please, sir, please. Save my brother.

OLIVE

They are only three. Two here, one in the water.

AISHA

My brother, my brother!

FRANK

Your bro- for Pete’s sake.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 17.

BARBARA

He’s still down there, thrashing about.

SOUND: SPLASHING, SHOUTS

FRANK

Now wait a second-

BARBARA

Frank, we can’t wait. Save him or don’t, it’s up to

you.

FRANK

I don’t-

SOUND: CRYING

FRANK

(SIGH)

Olive, get him out of there.


FRANK

The rest of you pirates, don’t even think about moving

a muscle. We’ve got you covered.

AISHA

No, we don’t, we don’t. Save him, save him.

FRANK

We’ll get right on it, your majesty.

SOUND: SPLASH OF BODY ON THE WATER

BARBARA

Olive is in... he’s got the man... he’s swimming him to

the ladder. Oh!

FRANK

Oh, what?

BARBARA

Their boat’s come loose. They didn’t tie it properly.

FRANK

Well now, of course they didn’t. That’s just perfect.

SOUND: MOTOR DRIFTING AWAY


(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 18.

FRANK

Olive, drop him there. I’ve got them covered. See to

Barbara.

OLIVE

Yes, boss.

FRANK

You miserable lot; you storm my boat and have the gross

indecency to shoot my first mate. No-one brings guns

onto my boat.

SOUND: KICKED GUN ACROSS METAL DECK

SOUND: SPLASH ON WATER

FRANK

So, there’s your toy out of the way. Was that it? One

gun?

OLIVE

There is only sticks as well.

FRANK

One gun and some sticks? Not so big now, without them,

though? Eh? Well, answer me. You owe me that much.

SOUND: COUGHING

FRANK

How’s Barbara doing?

BARBARA

I’m doing just fine, it really is nothing.

FRANK

Olive?

OLIVE

She will get fine, captain. A small pain, maybe.

FRANK

A small pain. And for you three, a large pain. What are

we to do with you?

SOUND: SEAGULL

19.

Scene: 7

(BELOW DECK)

SOUND: CIVETS SCRATCHING AND CHIRPING

STEVE

What can you hear?

HOLLY

Nothing, it’s gone quiet.

STEVE

Let me stand there.

HOLLY

You need to get your ear right up against the roof,

just there.

STEVE

I’ve eavesdropped before.

SOUND: MUFFLED SHOUTS

HOLLY

I hope no-one’s hurt.

STEVE

We only heard one shot, right? Unless it went through

all of them, we’ve still got a fighting chance.

HOLLY

I’ve never been attacked at sea before.

STEVE

How often do you get attacked on dry land?

HOLLY

You know what I mean. You hear about it, but you never

think it’d happen to you.

STEVE

You think the media made it up, maybe. Until it

happens.

HOLLY

I’m scared, Steve.

STEVE

We’ll be fine. The captain has it under control, I’m

sure. And Olive; the size of the guy. It’ll be fine.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 20.

HOLLY

And if it’s not?

STEVE

Then we’re the crack rescue team if there’s a problem.

HOLLY

(CLOSE)

God help us if it comes to that.

ANGELO

There is a problem?

HOLLY

No, Mr. Pellici. It’ll be fine. All ok.

ANGELO

Ah, Nadia is, how you say... the animals make her bad?

HOLLY

Make her bad?

STEVE

She’s scared of them?

ANGELO

No, no, the- on her skin, you know?

HOLLY

Ah, she’s allergic. I’m sorry, but we’re stuck in here

until we get the all-clear.

STEVE

Which I’m hoping will come soon.



STEVE

Everybody just stay calm... I’m looking at you, civets.

Scene: 8

(ABOVE DECK)

FRANK

They’re clean?

OLIVE

Yes, boss. No weapons, none of them.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 21.

FRANK

So.


FRANK

You attack my boat and you don’t even have the decency

to come armed? How were you going to capture us with

these two knives and that pea shooter we’ve tossed into

the sea?

KHADRA

We capture you.

FRANK

No, you didn’t. You very much failed to capture us.

We’ve got you, my lad.

BARBARA

Frank, let’s just get them locked up and we’ll deal

with them when the coastguard gets here.

FRANK

No, I’d like to know. I’d like to know what it is that

brings these people here, to steal from me. What is it

that you think makes you special? You think that now,

this night, you can take from me in an hour what it

took me twenty years to build?

AISHA

We don’t.

FRANK

You don’t what?

AISHA

We don’t mean to take it from you.

FRANK

I’ve told you that. I’ve told you that you’re not

taking my boat.

BARBARA

I doubt they want the civets, either.

FRANK

Now the civets I can live without.

KHADRA

We don’t know civets.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 22.

FRANK

Oh, you don’t, huh? No, I don’t imagine so. You

probably thought this boat was full of gold, or silver,

or radiophonic equipment. Or rich tourists that you

could hold to ransom. We’ve got some tourists, but

they’re the kind so cheap that they’ll catch a ride on

a boat carrying... guess what?

AISHA

I don’t know-

FRANK

Civets. Come on, that was easy. I was handing you that

one.

BARBARA

I think talking to you might be considered unacceptable

punishment under the Geneva convention. We should just

leave them be, Frank.

FRANK

(CLOSE)

Just tell me why you’re doing it.

ASAD

What choice do we have?

OLIVE

You tell him or I’ll beat it out of you.

BARBARA

Olive, no! That’s not what he meant. Please, continue.

ASAD

We have nothing, nothing in Somalia. Now we have no

boat.

FRANK

That’s right, my son. That’s cause and effect working

on you.

ASAD

But we must try, we must try to-

AISHA

We are hungry every night.

FRANK

(BEAT)

Now don’t give me that. You’ve got clothes on, you had

a boat, you had weapons. You’re taking the opportunity.

You had the petrol to come out here, didn’t you? Who’s

paying for all this?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 23.

KHADRA

Our village.

FRANK

Your - what?

Scene: 9

(BELOW DECK)


HOLLY

This has been too long. They should have talked to us

by now.

STEVE

You’re right. Can you hear that?

SOUND: MUFFLED SOMALI VOICE

HOLLY

That’s not one of ours. That’s a pirate. They’ve taken

our boat, Steve!

STEVE

Not while we’re still moving, they haven’t.

ANGELO

We can help, Steve? You have insurance if we get hurt?

STEVE

Uh; yeah. Sure we do, Angelo. Here, you wear this.

SOUND: JACKET RUSTLING

STEVE

That’s an, um, that’s a bulletproof vest.

ANGELO

Ah, it fits perfectly.

BARBARA

(HUSHED)

Steve, that’s a lifejacket.

STEVE

(HUSHED)

I know, but it’s a psychological advantage.

NADIA

Molto bene, Angelo.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 24.

ANGELO

Grazie, Nadia! Pow-pow!

STEVE

Ok, Angelo. We can’t give you a gun, but here’s a

stick.

ANGELO

(DELIBERATELY)

A - stick.

STEVE

This stick will keep you safe, when we find the

pirates.

NADIA

I want to help also.

STEVE

Right... well I don’t know about...

BARBARA

So, put this on.

SOUND: RUSTLING

STEVE

(HUSHED)

A tarpaulin?!

BARBARA

(HUSHED)

As you said, psychology.

STEVE

What’s psychological about a tarpaulin, for goodness

sake?

BARBARA

You know, it could be a... blue ghost... or something.

NADIA

I am waterproof! Impermiabile!

SOUND: LAUGHING

BARBARA

(CLOSE)

Well, at least they’re enthusiastic.

STEVE

(CLOSE)

We may well be fighting for our lives up there, so I’d

prefer that to pure fear.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 25.

STEVE

Ok, everyone, look around for any weapons you can find.

Anything protective would be a plus. Like tactical body

armour...

HOLLY

Or chain mail.

STEVE

Don’t be silly, Holly...

Scene: 10

(ABOVE DECK)


KHADRA

We are sent by our village.

AISHA

They save, they find us the petrol, the weapons.

KHADRA

We must sail to find supplies for our families.

FRANK

To prey on innocent sailors, you mean.

ASAD

Who are innocent? There are no innocents when there are

children dying in our streets.

BARBARA

How awful.

FRANK

(BEAT)

What’s the government doing?

ASAD

Ha!

OLIVE

(THREATENING)

Don’t you laugh at him!

KHADRA

(QUICKLY)

No, no, he means...

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 26.

FRANK

He means what?

KHADRA

That there is no government.

OLIVE

No government? You would like that, Frank. You hate

government, papers and official things.

FRANK

I do hate those things. But they’re there. They exist.

AISHA

Not for us.

BARBARA

When did this happen?

AISHA

Twenty years ago. The government was overthrown. And

since, there has been war. The army takes power.

BARBARA

Twenty years...

FRANK

(GRUFF)

Well, you get on with it, don’t you.

BARBARA

Frank, twenty years without a safety net. No wonder

they’re here.

ASAD

No schools, less water.

FRANK

So you need to come out on our water...

BARBARA

Frank...

FRANK

Well.

AISHA

We cannot find work. There is no work worth being done,

because there is not enough food. So we go hungry. We

just want to provide, to be busy.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 27.

OLIVE

(HUSHED)

Growing up, I had little.

ASAD

Where was that?

OLIVE

Algeria.

AISHA

You are from Africa also.

OLIVE

I am of France. But I had nothing. And now I have a

place.

ASAD

But where are your family?

OLIVE

They are.. they still are in Algeria.

AISHA

We do not run.

OLIVE

I did not run! You, you dirty pirates..!

SOUND: HEAVY FOOTSTEPS ON DECK

FRANK

Olive! That’s enough!

OLIVE

They have insulted me..

FRANK

They didn’t mean to.

OLIVE

What are we supposed to do with them? Is it wrong to

throw them in the sea?

FRANK

I- we need to- take a moment. Olive, put the kettle on,

will you?

28.

Scene: 11

(BELOW DECK)

STEVE

You hear that?

HOLLY

Olive’s still fighting..

STEVE

Exactly! We have a chance. Now’s our moment, troops.

Are you ready?

HOLLY

Ready, Steve. As I could ever be.

SOUND: PLASTIC RUSTLING

ANGELO

We are ready, too, sub-capitano.

STEVE

Thanks, Angelo. Now, listen. This could be dangerous.

But it could save us a great heartache if we can get us

out of this mess.

HOLLY

Oh god, I don’t even want to consider the consequences

otherwise...

STEVE

Best not to. Just keep calm, keep it together. We’re

professionals.

HOLLY

Steve, we work on a boat.

STEVE

Professionally. Ok, positions, people.

SOUND: BODIES MOVING AGAINST WOOD

SOUND: LEANING AGAINST A DOOR

STEVE

When I shout "go go go", we go.

HOLLY

Go go?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 29.

STEVE

No, "go go go".

HOLLY

(WHISPER)

I got it, Steve.

Scene: 12

(ABOVE DECK)

FRANK

You’ve put us in a difficult situation, the three of

you. The law of the sailor says that we should have

immediately marched you over there, you’d have been

walking that plank in no time, and that would be that.

You’d be out of our hair forever.

BARBARA

Thank goodness we don’t still live by the law of the

sailors.

FRANK

Some of us do.

BARBARA

You’re not going to have them walk the plank. This

isn’t a cartoon, Frank. You’re talking about these

people’s lives!

FRANK

Lives that they put at risk themselves. Just think, we

could have shot them immediately.

KHADRA

We only had one bullet.

FRANK

One’s all it takes.

KHADRA

We didn’t mean to use it.

FRANK

Well bullets have a nasty way of finding their way out

the barrel, one way or another. Much like beer.

BARBARA

I could use a drink, after this.

FRANK

How’s your arm?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 30.

BARBARA

It’s fine, it’s fine.

FRANK

Right. It’s the coastguard that’ll be dealing with you-

SOUND: DOOR SLAMS OPEN

SOUND: SHOUTING

STEVE

Oy-oy-oy-oy-oy!

HOLLY

Everyone, down on the floor!

ANGELO

Freeze like ice cubes!

NADIA

I thank you to stop!

SOUND: GUN BEING COCKED

FRANK

Woah, woah, woah, easy, tigers... con calma!

ASAD

Do not shoot!

STEVE

Frank?

FRANK

Steve.

STEVE

Are you alright?

FRANK

Steve, we’re fine. We have the situation under control.

HOLLY

Are you sure? It’s not a trick?

FRANK

It’s not a- why would I be tricking you?

HOLLY

Well, maybe the pirates got to you.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 31.

BARBARA

(CLOSE)

Maybe they did.

FRANK

We’re all ok, now just lower those guns - did you give

the Italians weapons?

STEVE

Oh, yeah. Well, sticks.

FRANK

Everyone’s carrying sticks nowadays.

HOLLY

So we’re all ok.

OLIVE

We are the ones with guns. They have none.

SOUND: FOGHORN

BARBARA

Frank, there’s a boat.

FRANK

So I hear.

ASAD

That is it, then. We are to prison?

FRANK

I’m sure they’ll ship you off somewhere and lock you

up, yes.

ASAD

At least we will eat there.

FRANK

All the gruel a bowl will hold.

AISHA

But our families cannot.

SOUND: RADIO VOICES

BARBARA

(OFF)

Frank, the coastguard boat is asking permission to come

aboard.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 32.

FRANK

Tell them to come on over.

BARBARA

(OFF)

Will do. Can I speak to you in here, please?


Scene: 13

(TOP CABIN)

FRANK

What is it, Barbara?

BARBARA

Are we really going to do this?

FRANK

You’ll see what I’m going to do.

BARBARA

You send those people to prison, they’ll rot and then

they’ll be sent back to their country, and start the

whole cycle again. But next time, they’ll bring more

weapons, because they won’t want to go to prison again.

FRANK

You don’t need to lecture me. You know me. You know

what I stand for.

BARBARA

(RESIGNED)

I know you, you’re right. I know.

Scene: 14

(ABOVE DECK)

SOUND: METAL SCRAPING

SOUND: FOOTSTEPS ON METAL

COASTGUARD

Ahoy, skipper!

FRANK

Hello there.

COASTGUARD

We heard that you were in trouble; pirate trouble. We

came armed for a fight.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 33.

FRANK

As you can see, we’ve dealt with the situation.

COASTGUARD

And your crew are ok? We have a doctor.

FRANK

My first mate could use a check-up, but she’s not

seriously hurt.

COASTGUARD

Doctor, please attend to the lady.


COASTGUARD

Well now, these must be the pirates. You’ve subdued and

captured them. No handcuffs?

FRANK

Well, actually...

COASTGUARD

Actually?

FRANK

These aren’t pirates, Coastguard. This is our crew.

COASTGUARD

All of them?

FRANK

All of them.

COASTGUARD

Ah. So they never made it aboard?

FRANK

They didn’t. We managed to avoid being boarded, and

they gave up and sailed away.

COASTGUARD

I see. And these three are your crew as well?

FRANK

Coastguard, I think that’s a little inappropriate. Are

you basing that on the colour of their skin?

COASTGUARD

No, just on the frightened looks on their faces. You,

what do you do on the boat?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 34.

ASAD

I am.. the cleaner.

COASTGUARD

The cleaner.

ASAD

Yes.

COASTGUARD

And you?

AISHA

I... I cook things.

COASTGUARD

What kind of things?

AISHA

Cous-cous.

COASTGUARD

A boat that runs on cous-cous. Very well. And this man,

what do you do?

OLIVE

I break bones for the captain.

COASTGUARD

(QUICKLY)

Right you are. Ok, captain. In the future please let us

know that you have things under control. It’s a big sea

out there, we’re needed elsewhere.

FRANK

We certainly will. Many thanks, doctor.


SOUND: FOGHORN

BARBARA

Frank...

ASAD

Frank, you have.. you have rescued us.

AISHA

We cannot begin to repay you.

FRANK

Well, you could try. I could use three extra hands for

a trip like this. Sailing past Somalia a couple of

times a month. Minimal wages. Long hours.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 35.

ASAD

Wages?

KHADRA

Food?

FRANK

Payment in food? You’ll need some clothes, I suppose.

Steve?

STEVE

Uh.. three sets of overalls coming right up.

FRANK

First job for all new recruits; get downstairs and get

cleaning those civets. That’ll make you think twice

about the straight and narrow.

BARBARA

Frank Marner, complicated man; hero, captain,

troubador..

FRANK

(SINGS)

Home, home on the range...

SOUND: SEAGULLS


(END)

radio footsteps on deck

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