Push your Boundaries

Sue Stockdale

www.suestockdale.com

How emotions drive our responses

In which areas of coaching do you want to “push your boundaries”?

• Type of client• Type of issues you work with• Processes you use (e.g. assessment, tools)• Your pricing• Reflective practice and supervision• Level of professionalism• Knowledge • Dealing with silence, lack of action, challenge

What helps us?

• Confidence in our own ability• Desire to explore the “unknown”• Acceptance of consequence• Willingness to learn (from mistakes)• Trends – others doing it• Tolerance of “failure” • Supportive environment • Our attitude towards risk

Quality

of

Perfo

rmance

High

Low Medium

Performance vs. Stress

High

Level of Stress/Arousal

Commitment

Acceptance

Change curve

Denial

Resistance

Adapted from Kubler-RossCopyright © Sue Stockdale and Clive SteeperFrom Cope with Change at Work

ArenaKnown to all

FaçadeKnown to selfUnknown to

others

Hidden PotentialUnknown to all

Blind-spotUnknown to selfKnown to others

Johari Window

Ref: Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham

ArenaKnown to all

Typical thinking and behaviour in response to changing environments

Situation Emotional Reaction Response Thinking ACTION

Known To All

+ve Excitement

“This is comfortable”

Engage MinimalEffort

Commitment

Known To All

Reluctant acceptance

What’s the point?Threat

avoidance“I don’t like this task”-ve Antipathy

Resignation

Known To All

-ve AntipathyKnown To All

-ve“I don’t like this task”

AntipathyKnown To All

-ve Threat avoidance“I don’t like this task”

AntipathyKnown To All

-veWhat’s the point?Threat

avoidance“I don’t like this task”AntipathyKnown

To All

-ve Reluctant acceptance

Known To All

-ve

Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5

Hazardous Thinking Patterns

• Anti-Authority – no one tells me what to do

• Impulsiveness – do something…anything

• Invincibility – it will never happen to me

• Macho – I can do it

• Resignation – whats the point?

Ref: US Coast Guard

Ways to address hazardous Thinking Patterns

• Anti-Authority – identify there are always rules• Impulsiveness – stop and take a breath• Invincibility – review what you actually did • Macho – recognise others are likely to already

know you can do it • Resignation – think what difference could I make

here?

Ref: US Coast Guard

Commitment

Acceptance

Where is your focus?

Denial

Resistance

Adapted from Kubler-RossCopyright © Sue Stockdale and Clive SteeperFrom Cope with Change at Work

PAST PRESENT FUTURE“What is” “What could be”“What was”

Blind-spotUnknown to youKnown to others

Typical thinking and behaviour in response to changing environments

Situation Emotional Reaction Response Thinking ACTION

Unknown To You &Known toOthers

+ve Excitement

“I can learn from them”

Relate What’s this? Commitment

Anti-Authority

No-one tellsme what todo

Defensive

“They might find out my weakness”

-ve FearUnknown To You &Known toOthers

Resistance

Ref: Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5

Unknown to You

Known to Others

Feedforward

1. Pick one area to improve or change2. Let go of the past3. Ask for ideas4. Listen and thank5. Follow-up

Ref: What got you’re here won’t get you there by Marshall Goldsmith

Identify one behaviour that you would like to change or improvee.g. more structured at start of session, doing more CPD

Share it with another person and ask for one or two ideas

Person offers ideas – you LISTEN and say THANK YOU – no discussions or judgements

Ask them what they want to improve or change and offer them one or two ideas – THEY LISTEN and say THANK YOU

Both move on to get more ideas from other people

Feedforward

Ref: What got you’re here won’t get you there by Marshall Goldsmith

FaçadeKnown to selfUnknown to

others

Typical thinking and behaviour in response to changing environments

Situation Emotional Reaction Response Thinking ACTION

Known To You &Unknown To Others

+ve Surprise

“This is a chance to shine”

Enjoyment I can be of value to others

Commitment

DenialI’ll show themEngage

“I can’t believe theydon’t know this?

-ve SurpriseKnown To You &Unknown To Others Macho or

Invincibility

Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5

My top five strengths are:

• Futuristic - Wouldn’t it be great if?

• Activator - When can we start?

• Significance - to be recognised

• Maximiser – Excellent not average

• Focus – Where am I headed?

Focus on Strengths

www.strengthsfinder.com

Hidden PotentialUnknown to all

Typical thinking and behaviour in response to changing environments

Situation Emotional Reaction Response Thinking ACTION

Unknown To All

+ve Excitement

“I am curious”

Engage What can we learn?

Acceptance

Unknown To All

Commitment Do something….anything

Threat avoidance“This is scary”

-ve Fear

Impulsiveness

Sue Stockdale, (2013) "How to Thrive in Change and Uncertainty", Industrial and Commercial Training, Vol. 45 Issue: 5

Your level of comfort with change (stretch)

Willingness to communicate thoughts and feelings (transparency)

Ability to show vulnerability

Confidence in your own capabilities

Your ability to be aware of, and question assumptions

Factors that will help you to step into unknown

Influence & No Control

No Influence & No Control

Influence & Control

Copyright © Sue Stockdale and Clive SteeperFrom Cope with Change at Work

www.suestockdale.com

Twitter @suestockdale

Helping people to achieve exceptional performance