hidden woundshiddenwounds.org

-Written by Marine Lance Corporal Mills Palmer Bigham -

Let me tell you about my first kill, so you can understand the way death may or may not affect the living party.

It took place in Hit, Iraq, on February 13th, 2006. I was on point, patrolling south, and searching for IEDs on the Main Service Road. I was doing everything a 19 year old does when he thinks that he is bulletproof. I would jump down into IED craters and kick the dirt around.

The largest crater was also the last, and closest, to base. I had just finished climbing out of the crater and was resuming the trek south. I was looking over my left shoulder, making sure I wasn't walking too fast. I hear a Marine scream, "GRENADE".

I rotated my body fully to the right, bringing my rifle to the alert simultaneously. I see the person in the follow through of his throw. The grenade is spinning slowly, the spoon coming off slowly. The sound of body armor

, and the bodies they protect, hitting the concrete created a strange thump, thump, thump sound. I pulled the trigger, quickly, twice. Pop… Pop.

The grenade was a dud.

We approach the person, carefully, we don't know if he has any more explosives on him. As I get near him, it is abruptly clear he is leaving this world, and soon. He is suffocating on his own blood. He is blowing blood bubbles through his red teeth. He is crying. There are bubbles coming from the two holes in his chest. One to the left of his heart, and the other to the right. Death took him, and there were no new bubbles.

He cried no more. I checked his ID. He is 12.

I wept that night.

The rest of the kills I made did not affect me in this way at all. It is true what they say, the first is the worst, and then it only gets easier.. I also learned I was not bulletproof.

WHO WE ARE Hidden Wounds is a non-profit organization headquartered in Columbia, South Carolina whose mission is to help heroes battle the invisible war at home. Our mission is to provide peace of mind and comfort for military personnel suffering combat stress injuries such as PTSD, TBI and other psychological post-war challenges. We provide interim and emergency psychological treatment for veterans and military personnel suffering from PTSD, TBI, and other psychological injuries. WHAT WE DO FOR YOU We provide immediate and emergency psychological treatment for veterans and military personnel suffering from combat stress injuries such until such time as the Veteran’s Administration or the Veteran’s Affairs agencies are prepared to deliver long-term services to our clients through government programs. Hidden Wounds also seeks to save lives through fundraising efforts that allow Hidden Wounds to provide counseling and act as a liaison between counselors, veterans, and families, and to provide publicity to dispel fear, lower the stigma, and grant the will to overcome emotional and psychological challenges to our military heroes.

HOW YOU CAN HELP We want to help our veterans and military personnel as much as we can. We would like to provide them with counseling and resources they need to cope with psychological injuries. But we cannot do this without your help, and we are asking you to get involved. You can help us by:

- Donating money- Volunteering your time or services- Partnering with us as a corporation

HOW TO CONTACT US You may contact us by e-mailing us at info@hiddenwounds.org

Mission and HistoryThe mission of Hidden Wounds, a non-profit organization, is to provide peace of mind and comfort for military personnel suffering from combat stress injuries such as PTSD, TBI, and other psychological post war challenges until such time as the Veteran’s Administration or the Veteran’s Affairs agencies are prepared to deliver long-term services to our clients through government programs. Hidden Wounds also seeks to save lives through fundraising efforts that allow Hidden Wounds to provide counseling and act as a liaison between counselors, veterans, and families, and to provide publicity to dispel fear, lower the stigma, and grant the will to overcome emotional and psychological challenges to our military heroes.

Brief History of the Organization

Hidden Wounds was formed in response to a tragedy involving its founder, Anna Bigham. Anna’s brother, Lance Corporal Mills Palmer Bigham, served four years of active duty for the United States Marine Corps. Lcpl Bigham served two tours of duty in Iraq with Weapons Company, 1st Battalion, 2nd Regiment. He was released on October 18, 2008, with an honorable discharge and new rank, Combat Veteran. Immediately, Anna recognized her brother was not the same young man she once knew. Lcpl Bigham sought treatment for war trauma, depression, and anger through numerous trips to the local VA hospital. He was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), however he was not given the treatment he deserved. Anna made countless phone calls to check on his status for receiving those services, but each time there was very little to no response. Anna supported her brother, battled for the right of his treatment, and cared for him during the long and horrific nights. It was too little, and too late. Mills took his own life waiting for those services on October 19, 2009.

Shortly thereafter, Anna decided that she could not let her brother’s death be the way out for any more of our heroes. It is her dedication and passion to prevent her tragic story from happening to others.

Executive Staff Biographies

Anna Bigham, Executive DirectorAnna founded Hidden Wounds in 2009 after she suffered post-war challenges alongside her younger brother, Marine Lance Corporal Mills Palmer Bigham. She serves as Executive Director, guiding Hidden Wounds with her vision and overseeing all aspects of the organization.When her brother succumbed to his hidden wounds with a gunshot to his forehead in October 2009, Anna decided that his death would not be in vain. She focused her efforts on starting an organization that provides the support returning veterans need to overcome psychologicalinjuries, post-war challenges, and to increase education and awareness among veterans, their family or caretaker, and the community.

Chris Younts, Chief Operations OfficerChris co-founded Hidden Wounds in 2009 and currently serves as Chief Operations Officer. He oversees resource development, with accountability for the organizations annual capital campaign, regional development, and corporate sponsorship. In this capacity, he focuses on developing and implementing plans aimed at raising funds from the public and private sector. Prior to joining Hidden Wounds, Chris served in financial advisory capacities in a variety of Columbia businesses. He has also been a self-employed CPA. Sharing in Anna's grief over her brother as a close family friend, Chris supported her vision andtook the reigns, piloting this idea into an operating non-profit organization ready to serve those who have served us all.

John Bigham, Awareness LeaderJohn Mills Bigham, born November 11,1945 in Columbia, SC. Attended public school graduating 1964 from Dreher High in 1964 and Erskine College in 1968. Married Margaret Ann Palmer April 30,1978, two children, Anna Palmer Bigham and Mills Palmer Bigham. Retired in 2008 following 25 years as Curator of Special Collections in 2008 with the SC Confederate Relic Room & Military Museum. After mourning the loss of his only son to PTSD, John was equally as resolved as Anna to prevent this tragedy from happening to other families if at all possible.

Dan Ramsey, Executive Director of Strategic OutreachDan Ramsey is a veteran of both the Navy and the Marine Corps. In the Navy Dan served as a construction man in the Seabees and in the Marine Corps he served in the Infantry as part of 1 st

Battalion, 8 th Marines, Charlie Company, stationed out of Camp Lejeune, NC. Dan has served in numerous places around the world including East and West Africa and the Middle East. During his last deployment with the 24 th Marine Expeditionary Unit, while on a mission, Dan broke his neck in several places which almost left him paralyzed and suffered a traumatic brain injury. Dan was subsequently retired from the Marine Corps and diagnosed with PTSD, TBI and other combat-related injuries, but despite his injuries, he is still fully supportive of all branches of the military and of their missions. He is using his experience as an Infantry leader along with his experiences with PTSD, TBI, and the VA to bring a unique perspective to the Strategic Outreach Program, called "Fire Teams". Dan was appointed as the Executive Director of Strategic Outreach in January 2010. He is directly responsible for providing strategic direction, management and coordination of Hidden Wounds Fire Team, and is also a co-founder for Fire Team. He focuses on developing and implementing plans aimed at raising funds from the public and private sector through recruits and events associated with lowering the stigma surrounding psychological injuries among military personnel. He seeks to let veterans know they are supported and appreciated, and that help exists when trying to re-assimilate to civilian life.

Steven Diaz, Director of Strategic PartnershipsSteven Diaz joined the Marine Corps after he graduated from high school. Initially he was stationed in Okinawa, Japan and alter volunteered to go to Iraq in January 2005. He spent three months escorting convoys out of Al Asad Airbase. During a mission he was hit by an IED,severely wounding him and leaving shrapnel scattering throughout his body. As a result he isnow blind in his left eye, cannot run or stand for long periods of time, and has been diagnosed with TBI, PTSD, and a seizure disorder. Having been prematurely medically discharged from the Marine Corps since October 2006, Steven felt like he was not finished fighting his war. Inspired by President Ronald Regan's 1985 quote, "Some people spend

an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem," Steven got involved with Hidden Wounds. As the Fire Team leader he has a chance to

continue his commitment to never leave a fallen brother behind by providing the help veterans need after returning home with post-war challenges of all kinds. His shared goal, along with Hidden Wounds', is to let veterans know they are supported when they come back and to spread awareness about PTSD and how families, friends, and comrades can help fight it. Glenn Dixon, Director of DevelopmentGlenn Dixon is a US Army veteran with many strong family ties to the military. His father and uncle both served in Vietnam and his brother and cousin are also veterans. As the son of a Navy Corpsman who served in Vietnam, Glenn has seen the effects of PTSD firsthand and knows whatit is like to live with someone who suffers from combat related trauma.Glenn is also the father of a special needs child and is actively involved in Special Olympics as well as other local programs for people of all ages with special needs. Glenn is an accomplished engineer and manager and he brings more than 20 years of leadership experience to help theHidden Wounds team accomplish the overall mission.

Ashley Randall, Public Relations DirectorAshley is the Public Relations Director for Hidden Wounds. She oversees communications strategies and media relations in order to raise awareness and increase exposure. In December 2010, she completed her Bachelor of Arts degree in Public Relations from the University of South Carolina's School of Journalism and Mass Communication. As the daughter of a retired and disabled U.S. Air Force veteran, the mission of Hidden Wounds is one that she is very passionate about.

Jan Barkan, VA Benefits AdvisorJan served in the U.S. Air Force and Air National Guard from Aug. 1971 to Sept. 1976 He retired from the U.S. Coast Guard as a Chief Warrant Officer in Nov. 1996 and declared 100% total and permanently disabled in 2007 (effective 2003). Since Jan has 14 years of experience maneuvering through the Veteran's Affairs system he chose to share the information he learned with other veterans undergoing the claims process.

Anna Bigham

Hidden Wounds Board of Directors

Anna founded Hidden Wounds in 2009 after she suffered post-war challenges alongside her younger brother, Marine Lance Corporal Mills Palmer Bigham. She serves as Executive Director, guiding Hidden Wounds with her vision and overseeing all aspects of the organization.

When her brother succumbed to his hidden wounds with a gunshot to his forehead on October 19, 2009, Anna decided that his death would not be in vain. She focused her efforts on starting an organization that provides the support returning veterans need to overcome psychological injuries, post-war challenges, and to increase education and awareness among veterans, their family or caretaker, and the community.

Chris Younts

Chris co-founded Hidden Wounds in 2009 and currently serves as Chief Operations Officer. He oversees resource development, with accountability for the organization’s annual capital campaign, regional development, and corporate sponsorship. In this capacity, he focuses on developing and implementing plans aimed at raising funds from the public and private sector.

Prior to joining Hidden Wounds, Chris served in financial advisory capacities in a variety of Columbia businesses. He has also been a self-employed CPA.

Sharing in Anna grief over her brother as a close family friend, Chris supported her vision and took the reins, piloting this idea into an operating non-profit organization ready to serve those who have served us all.

Dylan Ward Goff

Dylan is a veteran's service organization dedicated to providing peace of mind and comfort to military personnel suffering from combat stress injuries and other post war psychological challenges.

Dylan is a native of Columbia, South Carolina where he lives with his wife, Carla and practices law with the law offices of James E. Smith, Jr., P.A. He is a 2002 graduate of The Citadel and a 2008 graduate of the University Of South Carolina School Of Law.

In addition to being an attorney in private practice, Dylan serves his state as an Armor Officer in the South Carolina Army National Guard and is currently assigned as a staff officer with Headquarters, 218th Brigade in Charleston, S.C. From February 2007 until May 2008, he was deployed as an embedded trainer to the Afghan National Police Forces in Helmand Province, Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom.

Dylan’s military decorations include the Bronze Star Medal and the Combat Action Badge.

In 2010, Dylan was elected by a joint session of the South Carolina General Assembly to The Citadel Board of Visitors for a term expiring in 2016 where he serves as Chairman of the Education Committee.

Barbara Flora Livingston

Barbara Flora Livingston has been employed as Director of Human Resources at Gregory Electric Company for the past 13 years. In that capacity she is responsible for payroll and employee benefits, employee safety and training programs and any legal or labor related issues concerning Gregory Electric Company employees. She currently serves on the Columbia Electrical Council which supports the electrical apprenticeship program for several local electrical contractors. As the wife of Major General Robert E. Livingston, Jr., Barbara has worked with military families and organizations that support troops and their families. In addition to her involvement with the board of Hidden Wounds she also serves on the board of Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve and the USO. Barbara graduated with a B.S. in Guidance and Counseling from Baptist College in Charleston, SC in 1977. Barbara worked in Virginia at Virginia National Bank in Farmville, Virginia and then at Hampden-Sydney College’s Career Counseling Center. She returned to Columbia and worked for Lexington State Bank and then moved to Atlanta, Georgia where she worked for Trust Company Bank. Barbara decided to be a stay-at-home mom while she raised four children. During this time she concentrated her efforts on the schools and extracurricular activities that her children were involved in. She served on the Board of Dance Theatre of Columbia for four years, two of those years she served as treasurer. She has been actively involved in her church, Mt. Tabor Lutheran Church, in West Columbia for the last 34 years where she has served as a Sunday School teacher and as a member of Mt. Tabor’s Church Council. She has been married to Robert E. Livingston, Jr. for 34 years and they have four children, Robert, III, Rachel, Rebekah, and Roxanne. Captain Charlie Hall

Captain Charlie Hall was born and raised in York, South Carolina. He attended the U.S. Military Academy at West Point and graduated with a Bachelor’s of Science in Environmental Science in 2001.

He was commissioned into the U.S. Army as a 2nd Lieutenant and completed the Combat Engineer Officer’s Basic Course at Fort Leonard Wood, Mo. in Nov. 2001. He reported to the 1st Engineer Battalion at Fort Riley, Kan. and served as Engineer

Reconnaissance Platoon Leader and Combat Engineer Line Platoon Leader. Capt. Hall graduated from the Army Sapper Leader’s Course during his time in the U.S. Army.

In Nov. 2002 he completed an interservice transfer to the U.S. Marine Corps and reported to The Basic School in Quantico, Va. He graduated in June 2003 and then completed the Ground Supply Officer’s Course and was subsequently assigned as Supply Officer, 2nd Reconnaissance Battalion, Camp Lejeune, N.C. He deployed to Operation Iraqi Freedom from Aug. 2004 to April 2005 in Fallujah, Iraq. He then served a short time with 3rd Battalion, 10th Marines as battalion Logistics officer and then completed his active duty service in May 2006.

Following the completion of his active duty service Hall moved to Greenville, S.C. and began work as a Project Manager with the Harper Corporation, General Contractors. He also served as the Upstate South Carolina Marine for Life employment coordinator with the Marine Reserves until August 2009.

Since Aug. 2009 he serves in the Mobilized Reserve as District Injured Support Coordinator for the state of South Carolina with the Marine Corps’ Wounded Warrior Regiment.

Capt. Hall is married to the former Elizabeth Robeson and has three children.

“Capt Hall is proud to serve on the Hidden Wounds Board of Directors because he sees firsthand how the organization benefits young veterans. The Marines he works with on a daily basis all have unique needs, and Hidden Wounds is one of the primary resources used to accomplish the task of meeting those needs. He is excited to see the organization expand its reach to other areas, both in physical range and military related issues that are not typically addressed by traditional practices.”

William B. Dukes

William B. Dukes is the current owner of Blue Marlin Restaurant and Blue Marlin Signature Catering and the co-founder of Longhorn Steakhouse. In addition Dukes is a Vietnam Veteran as a result of his service in the U.S. Air Force as a Captain from 1964-1968. Currently Dukes is a member of the Newberry College Board of Trustees, Commissioner of the Columbia Airport Authority, a Lifetime member of the Gamecock Club and the Chairman of Honor Flight of South Carolina. Honor Flight of South Carolina a hub of a national organization whose mission is to honor World War II veterans from South Carolina by providing them a free one-day air charter trip to Washington, D.C. to visit their WWII Memorial. Since Nov. 2008, over 1,000 WWll Veterans from S.C. have had an opportunity to travel to DC. Flights have been organized from Columbia, Kershaw, Charleston, Myrtle Beach and

Greenville/Spartanburg. As a result of Dukes’ work, over $600,000 has been raised in S.C. in less than two years to honor our WWll Veterans. Bill Dukes is married to JoAnn Dukes and they have two children. Thad Viers Thad Viers grew up in Socastee, S.C. where he started a Republic Club at his high school and later became an office intern for the late Senator Strom Thurmond. He graduated from Socastee High School in 1995 and then matriculated to The Citadel on an academic scholarship to pursue a Marine Corps commission. After an injury in Officer Candidates School, the Marine Corps was no longer an option. Viers then went to work for the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think-tank in Washington, D.C. From there he later became a field staff for Congressman Henry Brown. Viers was elected to the State House of Representatives in 2003 where he strives to always be part of the conservative revolution that President Ronald Reagan started. While serving in the State House, he further his education by attending the University of South Carolina Law School. His plan is to practice law while promoting the conservative ideals of less government, lower taxes and family values in the State House of Representatives. CHAPLAIN (COLONEL) STEVE SHUGART Steve Shugart is the full-time Sr Army Chaplain (COL) for the South Carolina Army National Guard. In this role, he provides spiritual care and support for the day to day needs of SC troops as they deploy and return from combat. As a multiple-deployed veteran, Chaplain Shugart additionally serves with the South Carolina Law Enforcement Assistance Program because many of our law enforcement personnel are also Reserve Component soldiers. For the past ten years Chaplain Shugart served full-time as the State Family Programs Director, the Strategic Development Coordinator and as the Task Force Chaplain for the North Atlantic Regional Medical Command (NARMC). Chaplain Shugart and his team have helped deploy over 12,000 soldiers and today he is a Regional Instructor on soldier issues including combat operational stress, post traumatic stress disorder, suicide prevention and grief. He is a United Methodist Elder. Chaplain Shugart attended Chester High School, Clemson University, BA, Emory University, Masters of Divinity, and Drew University, Doctorate of Ministry. Chaplain Shugart, native of Chester, SC, is married to Sue Campbell Shugart and lives in Easley, SC. They have five children: Jonathan, Ginny Lynn, Anna Grace, Will and Grant (twins).

Kim Milano

A lifelong member of the military family, she knows the special needs of them from many different perspectives. She is currently the wife of the Base Commander, Major General James Milano, at Fort Jackson in Columbia, SC. Her unique perspectives of family issues among the military are invaluable as we develop programs to serve them.

Roxanne Wilson

With four sons currently serving in the military, Roxanne has an obvious affinity and love of the military. On top of the fact that she is the wife of Congressmen Joe Wilson, Chairman of the Armed Services Military Personnel Subcommittee, you’ve got a Board member that understands military issues on many fronts making her a valuable resource.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CONTACT: Ashley RandallDate: October 28, 2010 Public Relations Director

Phone: (803) 403-8460ashley@hiddenwounds.org

Fatz Café to Host Second Annual Pancake Fundraiser to Benefit Hidden Wounds

COLUMBIA, SC – Several Fatz Café locations across the state are hosting a pancake breakfast fundraiser on November 13, the Saturday following Veteran’s Day. Proceeds from the breakfast will benefit Columbia based non-profit Hidden Wounds and the immediate psychological injury treatments for veterans and military personnel in need. In September alone, the organization funded the counseling needs of 30 veterans. Last year, the event was held at the Forest Drive location in Columbia and raised $4,269.45 with the help of numerous volunteers and supporters. This year participating locations include Columbia (Forest Dr.), North Charleston, Seneca and Conway. The services Hidden Wounds provides extend past the City of Columbia so it is important to raise awareness statewide. Fatz Café’s regional management team has provided Hidden Wounds with an opportunity to do so. The breakfast will be from 7-10 a.m. and will include pancakes, fresh fruit, beverage and a side item. Tickets may be purchased in advance at participating Fatz Café locations or by calling Hidden Wounds at (803)403-8460. They may also be purchased on the day of the breakfast at the door. Hidden Wounds representatives will be present at each location to answer questions.

###

Hidden Wounds is a non-profit 501(c)(3), founded in January 2010 by Anna Bigham. The organization’s mission is

to help heroes battle the invisible war at home through providing immediate and emergency psychological treatment

for veterans and military personnel suffering from PTSD, TBI, and other psychological post war challenges.

(www.hiddenwounds.org)

4840 Forest Drive Suite 6-B # 317 Columbia, SC 29206 Phone: 803.403.846 ashley@hiddenwounds.org

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE CONTACT: Ashley RandallDate: Feb. 15, 2011 Public Relations Director

Phone: (843) 460-0241ashley@hiddenwounds.org

South Carolina Non-profit, Hidden Wounds, Reports Successful First Year

COLUMBIA, SC – Hidden Wounds successfully completed its first year of operations on Jan 1. Under the direction of Anna Bigham, founder and executive director and Chris Younts, co-founder and chief financial officer, and through the efforts of a core group of volunteers, Hidden Wounds was able to assist 68 veterans, more than one per week. “The greatest weapon we have is the ability to help each other and our first year has been a time of hard work and significant growth,” said Anna Bigham, founder and CEO. This growth was only possible through a critical partnership with Give an Hour and donations from 414 private donors totaling $45,727. Hidden Wounds was also able to assist with the benefits counseling of approximately 50 veterans at the Midlands Transitional Retreat Center in Lexington. “It is a privilege to honor the many who have served our nation,” said Anna. “We were truly blessed to have tremendous support from the community during our first year. It is our hope that this support continues to grow as we strive to serve more veterans in the coming year.” Hidden Wounds has established a well-rounded Board of Directors to help guide their mission in the coming year and distant future. Board of Directors members are as follows: Anna Bigham, Chris Younts, Dylan W. Goff, Barbara Livingston, Capt. Charlie Hall, Kim Milano, Thad Viers, Roxanne Wilson, Col. Steven Shugart and Bill Dukes. According to the latest numbers available from the Veteran’s Administration (2008), there are over 408,000 veterans in South Carolina. Of the 1,049,540 service members currently serving in Operation Iraqi Freedom/Operation Enduring Freedom, 18,000 are from South Carolina. Hidden Wounds successes in its first year are just the beginning of an on-going critical mission.

### Hidden Wounds is a non-profit 501(c)(3), founded in January 2010 by Anna Bigham. The organization’s mission is to help heroes battle the invisible war at home through providing immediate and emergency psychological treatment for veterans and military personnel suffering from PTSD, TBI, and other psychological post war challenges. (www.hiddenwounds.org)

4840 Forest Drive Suite 6-B # 317 Columbia, SC 29206 Phone: 803.403.846 ashley@hiddenwounds.org

A Sharp Knife For A Young LifeAnna Palmer Bigham, October 17, 2010 AFSP Closing Remembrance Ceremony Survivor Offering One year ago today, I looked in my younger brother’s eyes before departing on his trek to St. Simons Island, Georgia to visit our parents, and said “Mills, I love you. I’m glad you’re my brother and I want you to stay strong and remember that we all love you and will continue to find ways to help your psychological struggles so you can find peace. Have a safe trip, soak up lots of love from mom and dad and I look forward to your return.”

Mills looked at me and said, “I love you too, Anna.” But what his eyes were really telling me was goodbye.

Just 30 hours later on October 19, 2009, my father’s good friend arrived at my door step to deliver a message that I never wanted to hear. My little brother, the jokester, charming, handsome, good natured fellow and my best friend had indeed ENDED his life ON THIS EARTH. In a blink of an eye, my life was never going to be the same, and today my life is forever changed.

My experience as a suicide survivor has been an emotional rollercoaster ride, and I must remember that as impossible as this journey may seem right now, I know I will survive this, too. Mills’s pain is over and now it’s time to start healing mine. Every day has been a constant struggle to enjoy the same things and to find peace within myself as my life allowed before his death.

Recently I was asked, “What do you think when you look at this photo of your brother?” My immediate response was “I think about how many other people are struggling with severe depression and suicidal thoughts, and HOW THEY believe just as my brother did, that there’s no other way out, NO FUTURE, NO VISION OF GETTING WELL than ENDING their life ON EARTH. I wonder what it will take to cease the number of suicides…especially among our military.”

Following that question was a question that caused significant pause, almost leaving me speechless. “Anna, what do you feel when you look at this photo of your brother?” I couldn’t find an answer. I realized that even after one year of grieving my brother, that I was still numb. His death is still raw. One year later, I have yet to find peace amongst the emotional turmoil and I’m still struggling with the ability to just simply FEEL…FEEL SOMETHING. To me, the grieving process of a survivor of suicide requires learning how to FEEL again, not feel better, but to just FEEL.

Through my grieving process I’ve learned that metaphors are a great way to describe what’s going on inside of me. Metaphors have helped me discover my emotions and thoughts of my own, but more importantly, have also helped me express my stage of grief to others. I’ve learned that each day is a new day and simply getting out of bed and brushing my teeth is a success. I’ve learned to remind myself that it is okay to cry, to get in my car and yell at the top of my lungs, and I’ve learned that it’s also okay to laugh. And most of all, I’ve learned that if I don’t keep post-it notes on my walls and on the dashboard of my car to remind me “Anna, remember to take care of yourself today,” that I will not remember to practice self care.

Through this tough, unique, unexpected and chaotic journey…I’ve made the choice to channel my grief into positivity. I’ve learned that the best way for me to heal is to talk about my experience and brother, Mills to all who will listen. I’ve chosen to be an advocate for suicide prevention. I’ve chosen to establish, Hidden Wounds, an organization whose mission is to provide greater psychological counseling for veterans and military personnel in need. In this capacity, I’ve made it my privilege to honor the many who have served our nation while creating a legacy for Marine, Corporal Mills Palmer Bigham.

Our mother, Margaret Ann Palmer always said, “Mills is a gift from God.” Through all the joys while living, and through all the emotional turmoil after death, my mother’s words have become a greater reality than ever before. Mills is a gift from God, he was while on Earth, and his death to heaven is too, a gift from God today. His death was not in vain,

and I am reminded of that everyday through Hidden Wounds.

Remember survivors, it’s never too early to start healing. Remember, the stigma surrounding mental health treatment and suicide will not cease without shouting loudly your reasons through personal experience for it to stop. Remember that you didn’t choose suicide…it chose you. And when the “Why’s” become too strong, allow yourself to find a lighthouse to lead you to a safe place where you can allow the “How’s” to be easy.

Marine’s suicide shines light on depressionRead this story on TheState.com

Anna and John Bigham hold a photo of Lance Cpl. Mills Bigham, Anna’s brother and John’s son. The 23-year-old Marine committed suicide in October. His family has founded Hidden Wounds, a nonprofit organization based in Columbia that provides temporary support to veterans suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and depression. - ©2010 The State/C. Aluka Berry/caberry@thestate.com

By CHUCK CRUMBO – © 2010 TheState.com

Published - Tuesday, Feb. 02, 2010

Mills Bigham was a 19-year-old Marine in Iraq when he made his first kill.While on a foot patrol, someone hurled a grenade at Bigham’s squad. Bigham, who was at the point, turned and fired.”I pulled the trigger quickly, twice. Pop … pop,” the Columbia Marine wrote in his journal. Two bullets hit the attacker’s chest, knocking him to the ground. Within minutes, he was dead. The grenade was a dud. Bigham checked the attacker’s identification. He was 12.

Less than four years later on Oct. 19, Lance Cpl. Mills Palmer Bigham sat in his red Chevy Tahoe, put a .410-gauge shotgun to his forehead and pulled the trigger one last time.He was 23. Family said Bigham, a graduate of A.C. Flora High School, suffered from depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. In hopes they can prevent another veteran’s suicide, Bigham’s family recently founded Hidden Wounds, a nonprofit organization headquartered in Columbia. “My brother fell through the cracks,” said Anna Bigham, the Marine’s sister. About one out of every five veterans returning from Afghanistan and Iraq have some form of PTSD and depression, according to a federal study. Last month, the Department of Veterans Affairs said the suicide rate among veterans between 18 and 29 years old climbed 26 percent from 2005 to 2007. The VA also said 20 percent of the 30,000 suicides reported in the U.S. are committed by veterans. The suicide rate among veterans is nearly twice the rate for civilians, according to reports.

Through Hidden Wounds, the Bighams aim to provide temporary counseling and support to sufferers of PTSD, depression and traumatic brain injury until they can enter the Veterans Affairs health care system. Temporary help is needed because the VA reports it has a six-month backlog in processing claims, the Bighams said.Some veterans need help sooner, Anna Bigham said. That’s why the family founded Hidden Wounds.

A spokeswoman for the Dorn VA Medical Center said the hospital supports the Bighams’ efforts. Like so many service members coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan, Mills Bigham found it difficult to cope with the demons of war that haunted his memories. Anna Bigham said her brother seemed to feel like he was out of place after completing his enlistment in October 2008. In the Marines, her brother had a built-in support group of buddies, many of whom were dealing with similar issues. But once PTSD sufferers return to the civilian world, many feel like they’re “a fish out of water,” according to a VA study.This sense of isolation can deepen feelings of depression and suicidal tendencies, the report added.

Anna Bigham said her brother seemed to be overwhelmed with guilt. “In his last three or four months he didn’t go out in the daytime,” Anna Bigham said. “He told me, ‘I feel like everyone can see what I’ve done. I can’t go on this way. “Hidden Wounds also hopes to help the veterans’ families learn tell the signs of PTSD and depression and help their loved ones seek care. John Bigham said he knew his son suffered from nightmares, ringing in the ears and had “sparks of anger,” all signs of PTSD. “But I didn’t put it 100 percent together until he died,” John Bigham said.

Mills Bigham wrote about his first kill in his journal on Oct. 3, just 16 days before he took his own life.Bigham said he wanted to tell the story “so you can understand the way death may or may not affect the living party. “As he approached the fallen attacker, Bigham said he could see “it is abruptly clear he is leaving his world, and soon. “He is suffocating in his own blood. He is blowing blood bubbles through his red teeth. He is crying. There are bubbles coming from the two holes in his chest. One to the left of his heart, and the other to the right. Death took him and there were no new bubbles. He cried no more. I checked his ID. He is 12. I wept that night.”

Our Sponsor, Partner and Donors

We would like to give a heartfelt thank you to our sponsor, partner and donors for the support they have provided which allows Hidden Wounds to offer psychological treatment to military veterans and strengthen the awareness of PTSD, TBI and other psychological injuries in a greater capacity throughout the community.

Mrs. Nina Swan Toups of McLean, Virginia Mr. Robinson of South Carolina

South Carolina United Methodist Men District

North Trenholm Baptist Church, Columbia, SC

Bethel United Methodist Church, Columbia, SC

Centennial ARP Church, Columbia, SC

Hopewell ARP Church, Blackstock, SC

Young memorial ARP, Anderson, SC

Rockville Presbyterian Church, Charleston, SC

Westminister United Methodist Church, Seneca, SC

Sledge Hammer Ministries

Wyclef Ministries, North Carolina

Major Event Calendar: March 12 65 MB St Pats Day Parade and Festivities 9am-4pm (25,000 people)

March 13-17 Boston, MA Annual DOD/VA Suicide Prevention Conference- AB, CY and Skydex

March 19 Columbia, SC 5PTs St Pats Day parade and booth

March 19 Fashion Show fundraiser, American Legion, Spartenburg, SC

March 25 Benefit Concert by J Edwards Band and hosted by The Big Ugly, 7-11pm

March 25-27 Palmetto Sportsman Classic, State Fair Grounds Columbia SC- booth

April 1-2 SC Psychological Annual Conference, Myrtle Beach Sheraton Hotel – AB

April 2 Cooper River Run, Charleston, SC - DR

April 2 SC National Guard Event, Township Auditorium

April 14-18 Taps Suicide Survivor Sibling Good Grief Camp, Las Vegas, NE -AB

April 19-24 Heritage Hilton Head, SC- networking/booth

April 23 USMC Mud Run, Columbia SC – booth participation

May 14 Palmetto Patriots Ball, Blue Star Mothers Columbia SC

May 21 Pancake Breakfast, Fatz Café Forest Drive Columbia, SC 7:30- 10AM

May 27-29 Military Appreciation Days, Myrtle Beach, SC – booth participation

June 3 Benefit Concert, J Edwards Band TBA

June 8 Benefit Concert, One Eye Open, TBA

October 1-2 Lt Dan Weekend with the Independence Fund Beaufort, SC

October 8-19 SC State Fair- booth

October 10-12 Washington, DC AUSA Trade Show- HW and Skydex

October 30 Arlington. VA 36th Marine Corps Marathon

September 4 Virginia Beach, VA ½ marathon with TAPS

November 6 & 13 Veterans Day Outreach Offering- all participating SC Churches

November 12 Pancake Breakfast, Fatz Café, Columbia, SC Forest Drive 7:30-10AM

November 12 SC Marine Corps Ball 2011

Hidden Wounds Non Profit Organization Helping Heroes Battle The Invisible War At Home

Hidden Wounds

4840 Forest Drive, Ste 6B #317 Columbia, SC 29206

1-888-4HW-HERO

803.403.8460 main 866.764.4030 fax

hiddenwounds.org

Anna Bigham, Founder

803.665.3712

Annab@hiddenwounds.org

Chris Younts, Co-Founder 803.920.4266

Chris@hiddenwounds.org