pre-presentation: product labels

Product Label InstructionsProduct Label Instructions

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. sleeping.

Darn, and that’s the only timeDarn, and that’s the only timeI have to work on my hair!I have to work on my hair!


On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."regular soap."

. . . and that would be how? . . . and that would be how?


On some Swanson frozen dinners -- On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost.""Serving suggestion: Defrost."

. . . but, it's "just" a suggestion. . . but, it's "just" a suggestion


On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.No purchase necessary.Details inside.Details inside.

. . . the shoplifter special? . . . the shoplifter special?


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upsidebottom) -- "Do not turn upsidedown."down."

. . . well, duh; a bit late, huh! . . . well, duh; a bit late, huh!


On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating.""Product will be hot after heating."

. . . and you thought?. . . and you thought?


On packaging for a Rowenta Iron -- "Do not On packaging for a Rowenta Iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."iron clothes on body."

But wouldn't this save me more time?But wouldn't this save me more time?


On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operatenot drive a car or operatemachinery after taking this medication."machinery after taking this medication."

We could do a lot to reduce the rate of We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we couldconstruction accidents if we could

just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.off those forklifts.


On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."drowsiness."

. . . and..I'm taking this because?. . . and..I'm taking this because?


On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."indoor or outdoor use only."

. . . as opposed to what? . . . as opposed to what?


On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."contains nuts."

Talk about a news flash!Talk about a news flash!


On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat"Instructions: Open packet, eatnuts."nuts."

Step 3: maybe, uh . . . fly Delta?Step 3: maybe, uh . . . fly Delta?


On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enableof this garment does not enableyou to fly."you to fly."

And parents would think otherwise?And parents would think otherwise?


On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands orto stop chain with your hands orgenitals."genitals."

Oh my goodness...was there a lot of this Oh my goodness...was there a lot of this happening somewhere? happening somewhere?

pre-presentation: product labels

Entertainment & Humor