@pookyh [email protected] top tips for active listening dr pooky knightsmith
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@PookyH www.inourhands.com [email protected]
Top Tips for Active Listening
Dr Pooky Knightsmith
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@PookyH www.inourhands.com [email protected]
When I ask young people about how their parents or teachers can help
them to overcome their difficulties, the answer that always comes out on top
is:
LISTEN!
So here are a few ideas to make sure you’re listening as effectively as
possible.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com [email protected]
No Time Pressure
Don’t sit down to talk unless you’ve
got time to listen. If you can’t listen
now, arrange to sit down and talk later
and explain why. Needing to leave
just as a child starts opening up is bad
news all round.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com [email protected]
No Distractions
Give the child your full attention by
ensuring you have no distractions. Turn
your phone and computer screen off
and try to avoid people interrupting you by asking not to
be disturbed if possible.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com [email protected]
Body Language
Think carefully about the story that your body is telling.
Try to make the child feel
comfortable by uncrossing your
arms and legs and relaxing your hands.
Nod and smile to encourage them.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com [email protected]
Show You’re Listening
As well as smiling and nodding, make
listening noises (‘uhuh’ ‘hmmm’)
every now and then to encourage the child to continue
talking.
Uhuh….
@PookyH www.inourhands.com [email protected]
Reflect
Periodically reflect and summarise
what has been been said. This both
shows that you’ve been paying
attention and gives you a chance to
clarify any misunderstandings.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com [email protected]
Talk Minimally
The child should be doing most of the talking – if you’re talking more than 20% of the time
then try to redress the balance by
asking open questions to
encourage the child to explore their
feelings.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com [email protected]
Physical Barriers
Make the child feel relaxed and like
there are no barriers to conversation by removing yourself from a situation where furniture forms physical
barriers – such as a desk in-between
you.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com [email protected]
Don’t Guess
We can be guilty of hearing what we expect to hear. Remain open
minded and ensure that you hear what the student actually has to say, rather
than what you expect them to say.
@PookyH www.inourhands.com [email protected]
SummaryNo Time PressureNo DistractionsBody LanguageShow You’re ListeningReflectTalk MinimallyPhysical BarriersDon’t Guess
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Need more support?
Dr Pooky Knightsmith specialises in mental health and emotional well-being in the school setting. She can provide training sessions or workshops for school staff, parents or students on a variety of topics, including self-harm, anxiety, body image and eating disorders.
For further information and free resources visit www.inourhands.com
Email: [email protected] Twitter: @PookyH LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/pooky