Plenty!

to

Wise parents know that doing the right

thing won’t guarantee a happy

kid.

Low Stress Strategies for

Highly Successful Parents!

Love allows children to grow

through their mistakes.

Logic allows children to live

with the consequences of

their choices.Love a

nd

Logic

What’s

So, How Does Love and Logic help Parents and Children?

By providing the tools for establishing a

rewarding relationship built

upon love and trust.

1. Adults set firm limits in loving ways without anger, lecture, threats or repeated warnings. (Which translates to…Adults take great care of themselvesAdults set limits using enforceable statements.

Adults regard mistakes as learning opportunities.

Adults resist the temptation to “nag.”

The Rules of Love and Logic

2. When Children Misbehave and Cause Problems, Adults Hand these Problems Back in Loving Ways.Adults provide strong doses of empathy before describing consequences.Adults use very few words and consistently loving actions.Adults delay consequences, when necessary, so that they can respond with wisdom and compassion.Children are given the gift of owning and solving their problems.

The Rules of Love and Logic

Most Importantly, Love and Logic

Teaches You How to HAVE MORE FUN

PARENTING!

So…

Love and Logic teaches that kids who learn to get their way through arguing and

manipulating actually damage their own

personality development.

There is nothing wrong with a child that a little arguing won’t make worse.

There is nothing more exciting to a difficult child than an adult angered and frustrated by back-talk.

The angrier we get, the more likely the problem will continue and intensify.

I only argue at 5:00 A.M. and 11:30 P.M. on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s.

NEUTRALIZING CHILDREN’S ARGUING

Because trying to reason with an angry, arguing child is like fighting fire with gasoline. Or, when children say something that’s not very bright, why should we match it up!

When a child says, “I hate you,” they are really saying, “I’m doing everything I can to manipulate you and it isn’t working! “I want my way!”

That arguments are not requests to hear parental wisdom. Instead , they are designed to weaken parent’s resolve and get one’s way.

Not to try to convince kids that their decisions are fair.Wise Parents k

now…

Do not think about what the child is

saying.

WHY? If you think too much you might be tempted to reason with the child.

And if you reason, it’s very likely that the child will use your own words and trap you.

STEP TWO:

Some Benefits of Delivering Consequences with Empathy:

The child’s brain stays in “thinking mode” instead of “fighting mode.”The adult’s blood pressure stays lower.The child must “own” his or her pain rather than blaming it on the adult.The adult sees more cooperation… and less revenge.The child can learn and achieve instead of resist and resent.

Let’s look at the following

Love and Logic one-liners. Choose ONE that fits your personality and memorize it. You may want to create your own. Remember: These are not designed to “get back at” anyone or “put them in their place.”

I love/like (respect) you too much to argue.Thanks for sharing.Probably so. I know.Nice try.That’s an option.Bummer. How sad.I bet it feels that way.I’ll listen when you voice is calm.What do you think I think about that?What do you think you’re going to do about that?

Keep Your Empathy Simple and Repetitive

Most adults find it difficult to deliver empathy when a child has misbehaved.

Rather than getting complicated, simply pick

just one empathic response you can use each time you do discipline. When kids hear these same statements repeated, they learn two things:

•My parent cares about me.•My parent is not going to back down.

•Therefore, there is no use arguing!

Providing empathy

alone can emotionally cripple a child.

What else needs to be in place?

Empathy without holding kids accountable erodes

responsibilityand self concept.

Empathy followed by logical consequences builds

responsibility.

This Program Teaches You How To:

•Identify the four steps to responsibility.•Learn how to neutralize arguing.•Recognize who has control.•Offer appropriate choices in order to share the

control.• Identify if a given problem belongs to the child

or to the parent.•Set limits for children using “thinking words,”

or enforceable statements.

This Program Also Teaches You How To:

•Recognize empathic responses.•Design appropriate consequences for inappropriate behavior.

•Design a strategy for resolving a problem situation, or problem behavior, using Love and Logic principles.

For More InformationPlease Visit: www.loveandlogic.com

Jim Fay and Dr.Charles Fay Dr. Foster Cline