personal statement - medicine help

7/29/2019 Personal Statement - Medicine Help

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Advice on Writing:

Inlast weeks blogpost, we were all, You need to tell the unique story of you on

your med school apps. Then we promised wed have a new post on just how to do this

on Monday. We would have done it, too, if there hadnt been a massive ketchup spill

on the freeway*** (DONT ASK), meaning it was Richard Scarrys Cars and Trucksfor as far as the eye could see, which really threw off our commutes.

ANYWAY. Its Wednesday now, and weve got to get down to the business of

developing the right frame and thesis for those stories youve unearthed about why

you want to go into medicine. After all, those juicy details wont make much sense iftheyre just a bunch of connect-the-dots without any sort of lines.

Start first by zooming out a bit for a better look at what youve constructed. List the

main details and themes youve weaved into your essay (or are planning to) so that it

looks something like this:
http://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/medical_school_applications_personal_statementhttp://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/medical_school_applications_personal_statementhttp://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/medical_school_applications_personal_statementhttp://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xxnBVoc8pWk/TMzmlVmX5SI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/Q135qZiuY5k/s1600/big0679806636.jpghttp://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/medical_school_applications_personal_statement


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1. Volunteered at a clinic in Nicaragua. Consulted with on-call doctors, helped withpatient intake, made sure supplies were stocked.

2. Cooking spaghetti dinner every Sunday for my parents. Mom and dad both workat our restaurant all Saturday night and are too exhausted to cook the next day.

3. Seeing a cell under a microscope for the first time.4. That stranger giving my little brother a bottle of water on that crowded bus

during a family visit to New York during a heat wave.

At first glance, these things might not seem like they have a lot in common. But to

that we say: make like aRocky montage and dig deep. Think back to a lesson from

your 6th grade English teacher (hopefully).

1. Who2. How3. Where4. What5. When6. WHY

When reading, writing, or, really, doing any kind of thinking these are the questions

that will peel back those layers and get you where you need to go. Especially thewhy.

Question:Why did you volunteer at the Nicaraguan clinic?

Answer: I wanted to help a population with poor access to health care.

Question: Why do you make Sunday spaghetti dinners for your parents?

Answer: Theyve spent most of their adult lives taking care of me. This is one way

that I can take care of them.

Question:Why was seeing a cell under a microscope amazing?

Answer: I saw life for the first time on a different scale - how even our bodies are an

ecosystem.I was fascinated by what happens out of sight, and the idea that one little

thing could make or break our health.Question: Why is it important to recall that moment when that stranger gave your

brother that water? Why did it make an imprint on you?

Answer: Heres someone who didnt have any responsibility to us reaching out and

helping a little boy, no strings attached. It moved me. I also found it inspiring.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DP3MFBzMH2ohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DP3MFBzMH2ohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DP3MFBzMH2o


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Still think theres no theme to this essay? Well then you must not have your theme hat

on. We suggest a Dr. Seuss style, if youre looking.

The theme here (known in academic writing as your thesis) is wanting to help people,

whether thats the people you love most or complete strangers. And the anecdote

about the cell shows youve got the scientific chops to back this impulse up.

By weaving these stories together under this bigger umbrella but not actually saying,

You guys, I soooo love to help people, you not only communicate this larger,

important idea, but you also give a much more compelling, vibrant, detailed and

unique picture of who you are. And thats a good thing, because who you are is pretty

cool.

That said, to make this work, youre still going to need to make an outline, pay close

attention to the way you transition between thoughts, and have a killer intro and

conclusion to drive it all home. Well blog on one of these topics next week. On

Monday.

***Disclaimer: There wasnt really a ketchup spill on the freeway. We just got behindon blogposts, alright?

Last week, we talked all about how you could find your medical school applicationa

killer theme. There was really only one super top secret ingredient: getting down to

the details - the HOW and WHY rather than just that boring old what.
http://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/find_your_med_school_app_a_themehttp://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/find_your_med_school_app_a_themehttp://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/find_your_med_school_app_a_themehttp://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/find_your_med_school_app_a_themehttp://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/find_your_med_school_app_a_themehttp://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/find_your_med_school_app_a_theme


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Writing an irresistible introduction for your med school app requires pretty much the

same logic. Except to really do it well, we encourage you with two fist pumps and

some ra-ra cheerleading to show us those details rather than telling them to us. Thats

right, were talking about the joys of SDT (show dont tell). And yeah, dont get the

order of that D and T mixed up.

Think of it this way. The committees reading your essays are made up of real, live

humans, not robots. Between their family lives and running hospitals and generally

saving the world, theyre reading hundreds of these applications. So do em a favor.

Draw them in with an opening thats intriguing - one that, at the very least, puts them

in a good mood. Hook em in...preferably using one of these top five methods.

1. AnecdoteStart us out with a great glimpse of life that pulls us right in. Heres one I whipped up,

just because I love you guys and think you need an example.

My first time volunteering in the ER, I performed major surgery. It started out simply

enough. I was sitting at the nursing station, waited to receive my first assignment,when a frantic parent rushed up to me, their badly wounded child in their arms. I

looked around, but no one was there to lend a hand. So, with my heart nearly

pounding out of my chest, I grabbed a needle, sewed up the wound and saved a life.

Theres just one thing: the patient was a teddy bear, and the parent was a

chronically ill child who had spent the last three years of her life in and out of the

hospital.

Alright, so maybe thats not your style, but can you see what were going for here?

This anecdote captures our attention, and it also sets you up to talk about patient-

centered care.

2. HUMOROUS OBSERVATIONWhat do you think Jerry Seinfelds med school personal statement would have liked if

comedy hadnt worked out for him? Whats the deal with intubation? AM I RIGHT

OR AM I RIGHT?

Make a humorous observation that plays on a specific detail or problem everyone in

the industry knows is true, and youre sure to win a sympathetic ear.

3. VIVID DESCRIPTIONMake us SEE the world around you, and there will be no escaping. Describe the

pristine white walls. Make us hear the steady beat of the heart monitor. Set a scene we

want to be a part of, or at least observe.

4. DIALOGUESnappy exchanges and odd statements intrigue and draw the reader right in. Did the

on-call doctor call you a nasty but hilarious name? How about that patient who

revealed the meaning of life? If it was interesting to you, it will be interesting to us.


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5. STRAIGHTFORWARD STATEMENTBe prepared to experiment with lots of different starts until you find one that works

for you. However, if you dont find anything coming together, dont sweat it. A nice

straightforward statement is preferable to, say, a humorous observation that doesnt

quite work. If you want to start with, Helping people in pain is important to me,

then do it.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Yep, there you have it. With intros like these, they

wont be able to resist you or your well-honed wit.

So, tell me about yourself.

Ask a student (or anyone) this question, and youre likely to receive one of these two

responses:

(1) Uh...

OR

(2) Well, it all started on the day of my birth...

That is, youll get a single word response and a blank stare or an entire life history

with nary a personal detail spared. The fact of the matter is, most of us struggle to

answer this question, which is tough luck because its essentially what any college

essay or short answer question is asking.


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So, how can you get that balance right and trump up your biggest accomplishments

without turning the reader off? Follow this handy little list of DOs and DONTs.

DONT just list off your accomplishments. Picture this: youre at a party. Some

cute new kid from the next town over sidles up to you, flashes a heart melting smile,

and then says, Hi.Im the captain of the swim team, the president of Key Club and a

National Merit Scholar. People really like me. Lets go out sometime. Im guessingyou wouldnt exactly be jumping at the chance for a date, would you? Well, if it turns

you off in person, its a college essay turn off, too. Save the listing for your resume,

where its both expected and acceptable.

DO focus on your most meaningful experiences / moments / activities /accomplishments.With so much on the line (your entire college career!) its

tempting to want to cram in every bullet point, big or small. But well know more

about you as a person when you focus on what means the most to you. Well see your

passion, values you didnt even know you were integrating into the essay, and a whole

lot of personality.

DONT speak in marketing / braggart terms. Something weird happens when we

try to talk about ourselves. Were so trained not to, that we reach for language thats

either too sanitized or is outright egotistical. Which one of your friends, for instance,

would conclude a contemplative heart to heart by saying, Overall, Im proud and

humbled by what I achieved that day. Allow me to be your friend for years to come,

and I promise to accomplish similar results in the future. Im not saying you

shouldnt reflect (please, do!) or that you shouldnt be proud or humbled. Im just

saying, well, say it like you would, not like a 45 year old marketing expert. After all,

we learn more about you through your unique voice than anything else, so sounding

like yourself is important.DONT talk like youre a finished product. We all have flaws. Admit to them, and

youre more likely to get a reader going, Yep, Ive been there. I like this kid! Dont

go overboard, of course, and make sure to talk about how you know this is all a

journey and youll always work hard to improve x, y and z. Just remember that

everyone prefers the kid who speaks honestly about whats going on in his or head

than the one that says, Ive got everything covered. I just need YOU to admit me and

my master plan will be one step closer to completion.

DO SHOW your individual efforts.Look, if youve contributed a lot to an

organization, by all means, talk about it! As long as you do more showing than

tellinghttp://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/your_college_essay_show_dont_tellso we can make up our own minds about you, readers will love seeing what

youve done. But, while youre at it...

DO NOT degrade the efforts of others and DO talk about your involvement with

a team.Even if you were the only one on your team to contribute to the project, dont

degrade the efforts of your teammates. Think about any reality show youve ever

watched (come on, I know you watch them) where one contestant trashes another
http://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/your_college_essay_show_dont_tellhttp://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/your_college_essay_show_dont_tellhttp://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/your_college_essay_show_dont_tellhttp://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/your_college_essay_show_dont_tellhttp://www.juststartapplications.com/blog/entry/your_college_essay_show_dont_tell


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backstage. Most often, their teammate comes off looking like the fun, cool one we all

want to hang out with while the hardworking ranters comes off like uptight braggarts.

Best to keep it classy by acknowledging the contributions of others (no matter how

little they may be) and showing us your leadership skills.

Its a tough line to walk, but follow these tips, and youre sure to get the me me MEbalance in your college essay and short answer questions juuuuust right. Happy

writing!


8/13

Way back yonder when I was applying to college, there was this girl. You know, The

Perfect One. The one who played every sport ever invented (thats right, she even

diddistance plunging), got the best grades, and volunteered at the soup kitchen just

for funsies. Actually, if were honest, there wasnt just one girl. I went to a high

school stuffed with smart, adventurous, cool kids, some of whom Id later bump into

casually in exotic places around the world. Navigating between classes was likeskipping through my own shrine of self-doubt.

So when it came time to write my college essays, I couldnt help but compare myself

to the superhumans who surrounded me. If I chose to write a wacky essay about my

wacky family, how would I look next to The Perfect One(s) who had built shelters in

Costa Rica with her bare hands over spring break? If I wrote about my somewhat

reluctant efforts as the secretary of Key Club, how could I beat that guy who had

plans for starting teen political campaigns?

Does this sound familiar to you? If so, youre not alone. This is one of the most

common issues we face in our work with students, right from the get go. But so and

so wrote this in their essay, and its really funny and makes them look so good. Im

going to die if my essay isnt as good as that.
http://olympics.time.com/2012/07/16/really-strange-sports-that-are-longer-in-the-olympics/http://olympics.time.com/2012/07/16/really-strange-sports-that-are-longer-in-the-olympics/http://olympics.time.com/2012/07/16/really-strange-sports-that-are-longer-in-the-olympics/http://olympics.time.com/2012/07/16/really-strange-sports-that-are-longer-in-the-olympics/


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Even if youre not the one doing the comparisons, its mom and dad and all of their

friends. How many times a day do you have to hear:

Sarahs mom said her applications are all finished and she wrote the most brilliant

essay on the spirit of volunteerism. How are your applications coming?

Heres the thing: when you start work with JustStartApplications.com, this is the veryfirst thing we work to undo. Because let me tell ya, weve seen our fair share of essays

from perfect candidates and, frankly, theyre often quite a snooze. What really gets

the admissions committee out of their seats andslow clappingis a good story --

specifically one that stars a likable protagonist whos embarked on an introspective

journey of self-discovery (in an epic way rather than a cheesy one). Whether that story

is about an amazing achievement or simply a walk in the park, nothing matters unless

its authentic and unique to you, and it shows us what a compelling human being you

are.

Take the time to write this story well, and the admissions committee wont know what

hit them. Write it well, have fun, and dont be awannabe(sorry, I couldnt resist).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhTiJEYqqY8http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhTiJEYqqY8http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhTiJEYqqY8http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJLIiF15wjQhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJLIiF15wjQhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJLIiF15wjQhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJLIiF15wjQhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhTiJEYqqY8


10/13

Getting Letters:

Asthis Atlanticarticle points out, sometimes brutally, instructors dont love writing

letters of recommendation in most cases. If you are planning to go to graduate school

soon, this fact is pertinent and relevant to you for a couple of reasons:

A. You need letters of recommendation from these instructors who dont like writing

letters of recommendation.

B. Ideally, you need letters of recommendation that describe you in glowing terms

from these instructors...who dont like writing letters of recommendation.

Whats a student to do? Weve come up with a few tips to ensure that your ask is

received in the best possible way:

*Be Timely: Having written my fair share of letters of recommendation, I can tell

you that when a student asks me to write for them and then tells me the due date is in

three days, the letter just wont be my best work. I mean, how well would you be able

to carve out the time in your busy life to write a glowing masterpiece in three day?

Give your writers, at the minimum, a month to complete the letters.

*Be Courteous: Sure, it is part of a teachers job to write letters of recommendation,

but behaving as if you are entitled to a letter or coming off as demanding will be off-

putting to the person who you hope will say nice things about you.

If you are asking via email, here is a very quick sketch of a polite way to ask:

Dear Professor LoveYerWerk,

As you know, I am applying to graduate school next year. I know this is a very busy

time of the semester/year/quarter, but I wonder if you would be willing to write of a

letter of recommendation for me. I enjoyed your seminar on _________ and the

work that I did in your class really helped me to clarify my future goals. If you are

able to write a letter for me, I can send you my personal statement, my resume, and

any other information that you think would be helpful. Thanks so much and I look

forward to talking with you soon.

Best,

Polite Q. Courteous

*Be Informative: In the best of cases, you will be asking a professor to write for you

who knows you and your work well. But, in reality, this is not always possible.

Perhaps you went to a large school where it was difficult to get to know faculty, or

perhaps college has been in the rearview mirror for a while now and you fear your
http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/10/pity-the-recommendation-writer-bard-of-the-great-bland-majority/263331/http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/10/pity-the-recommendation-writer-bard-of-the-great-bland-majority/263331/http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/10/pity-the-recommendation-writer-bard-of-the-great-bland-majority/263331/http://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2012/10/pity-the-recommendation-writer-bard-of-the-great-bland-majority/263331/


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instructor will not remember you. The best thing you can do in this situation is to be

upfront about this fact when you ask. Here is an example:

Dear Professor Itsbeenawhile,

I had the opportunity to take your course Totally Insane Italian Poets in the fall of

2009. Im not sure if you remember me, since it has been a while, but I very much

enjoyed your class and enjoyed working on the final paper I wrote for it which was on__________. In fact, many of the ideas from that class have contributed to my desire

to apply to graduate school, which I am doing now.

I wonder if you would be willing to write a letter of recommendation for me to

MA/PhD/law school? I would be happy to send you any material that you think would

be helpful and look forward to filling you in on what I have been up to for the past few

years.

Sincerely,

The Girl From the Fifth Row

Need more advice? Stumped on who would make the best recommender? Terrifiedto hit send because you fear rejection? We can help! Lets talk.

Last week we focused on how to ask for grad school letters of recommendation from

faculty members, whether you are a recent student or a student from years gone-by.

Today, wed like to focus on a scenario that no one ever really wants to face when

they are asking for letters of recommendation: Being turned down.

Lets face it, whether in the dating, the professional, or the academic world, being

turned down pleases almost no one. However, you didnt crawl under a rock and stop

dating after being dumped by your first love (Ouch. Too soon?), and similarly, just

because a recommender says no doesnt mean you should give up on the whole

endeavor.

Here are some reasons why someone may turn you down, followed by some reasons

why that might just be a very good thing and some classy responses to thesepotentially awkward situations.

I just dont have enough time.

Time, she is a harsh mistress, it is true. Perhaps you waited till the last minute, or

perhaps your professor has a new set of infant twins to take care of, or perhaps she is


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under a vicious publication deadline. Whatever the reason is, if your professor has

said that he or she does not have time to work on a letter for you, it is probably a good

thing that they are not writing for you!

Why? Your letters need to be thoughtful and engagingnot hurried and sloppy.

Thank your faculty member for the consideration anyway. Who knows? Maybe theycan come through next timebut only if you respond in a non-jerky way. Here is an

example of a polite, classy response to a not enough time turndown via email:

Dear Professor Sobusy,

Thanks so much for replying to my email. Im sorry to hear that you wont be able to

write me a letter this time around, but I appreciate your response. I wish you all the

best with your new baby/book project/etc.

Sincerely,

Snubbed

I dont feel that I can write you a letter you will be happy with.

Now this one really stings. What does it mean? Well, it could mean that your

professor doesnt remember you well enough to feel that he or she can be a good

judge of your character/work/future potential in the field. Or, it could be a nice way of

saying If I write you a letter it will be bad because of X,Y,or Z reason having to do

with your performance in my class.

You may be tempted to keep asking this same person, but uh, please dont. As we saidbefore, your letters really need to be strong endorsements. A weak, unspecific, or just

plain BAD letter about you will not help your case and will likely harm your case --

no matter how famous/special/cutting edge this faculty member is. Heres how to

respond:

Hi Dr. Notafan,

Im disappointed that I wont be able to have a letter from you in support of my

application to graduate school, but I appreciate your candid response to my request.

[Optional: I dont mean to put you in an awkward position, but I wonder if you might

take a moment and explain to me what it is about my time in your class that gives you

pause about recommending me. I ask not to try to convince you to write for me, only

so that I can learn from any mistakes I have made in the past going forward.] I wish

you all the best for a great semester.

Sincerely,

Snubbed II


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Do you have any letter of rec conundrums? Horror stories? Tales of triumph? Advice

to share? As usual, we are all ears!

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