perenting session 1

8/8/2019 Perenting Session 1

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SESSION 1 : Introduction

Significance of marriage

Selection of spouse.

Cursed marriage. Pillars of marriage.

Condition of marriage.

Advantages of Marriage.

Definition Islamic perspective. Objectives of Islamic parenting The little Khalifah.

A: Overall view of Parenting

B: Marriage: Blessed bound

C: The danger of Bachelorship Celibacy

a) False Arguments:Religious:Financial:Personal:Social:b) Valid argument:Quran:Sunnah.


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Definition: NOUN:

The rearing of a child or children, especially

the care, love, and guidance given by a

parent. Parental education is a newly coined expression in the

science of education. It is an educational activity governed

by a psychological reference framework that builds on the

parents' perception of child psychology. This perceptionstems, on the one hand, from the conceptions and ideas

developed by parents on the child's growth, aptitudes,

capacities, needs and aspirations, and on the other, from

their educational practices vis--vis the child.

A: Overall view of Parenting


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Islamic perspective in parenting is characterized byits distinctiveness in the following aspects:

Perception of the world. (temporality/ test/ game / Akhirah-oriented world).

Perception of the child. (fitrah/ Khalifa)

Perception of the lifes priorities. (worship of Allah)

Purpose of Life (article) (PPT)

Objectives of education: (moral perfection & Satisfaction ofAllah).

Parenting CCAC

Parenting from an Islamic perspective


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http://www.missionislam.com/family/civilised.htm http://www.missionislam.com/family/establishfamilybk.htm

http://www.missionislam.com/family/knowledge.htm

http://www.missionislam.com/family/parenting.htm


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Little Khalifah

Allah

Worship

Serve Ummah

Skills for Tamir

Reasoning/ knowledge

Ibadah & Akhlaq

Aqidah

Little Khalifah Way


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Educators/ Environment

Society

Masjid

School

Relatives

Mother

Father

ChildChild


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Components of Human action

Efforts

Al NiyyahIntention

ResultsAl Maal

Means

1

23

4


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Definition:

Marriage or Nikah which is commonly used in Islamic texts is legal agreementbetween man and women through which both of them enjoy the rights as husbandand wife.

Although it varies in its forms and objectives, Marriage is a universal Allahs law increation (Sunnat Allah). Allah says:

We have created everything in pairs, that perhaps you may remember [Quran: dhariyat/49-51].

Marriage is a practice of the Prophets. Allah says: We have surely sent messengers before you (Muhammad) and granted them wives andoffspring

[Rad/13: 38].

Marriage: The Blessed Bound


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The messenger of Allah () said:::

.

When a person marries, He has (by that) completed half of his faith. Let him then fearand revere Allah in regard to the remaining half.

When Allah grants one a righteous wife; He has helped him (by that) to preserve half ofhis religion. So let him then fear Allah In the remaining half


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Abu Hurayra reported that the Messengerof Allah ()has said:

In three matters, both sincere andunserious acts are considered serious;marriage, divorce, and returning (a wifewho was divorced a non-terminal divorce

Marriage: A Serious Matter


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:

:

/32.

: .

Oh Group Of Youth!That Who are Able To Pay The Dower,

Let Him MarryIt Is More Lowering To The Sight,And More Protecting To TheCharacter.


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Evidences

)32(.

And marry those among you who are single,and those who are pious among you, your male

slaves and your female slaves; if there are needy,

Allah will make them free from want out of His

Grace; and Allah is ample Giving, knowingand let those who cannot find a match keep

chaste until Allah makes them free from want out

of His grace. (24-32)


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:


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Once three people came to the blessed wives of theProphet to ask regarding his worship. When theywere informed they found it to be less than expectedand said how can we compare to the Prophet , his

past and future sins are forgiven. Then one of themsaid, I will pray all night forever. The other onesaid, I will fast forever. The third said, I will stayaway from women and never get married. When

the Prophet heard this, he said, By Allah I ammore fearful of Allah, yet I fast and don't fast, I prayand sleep and marry women, Nikah is from mySunnah, whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not

from me. (Bukhari)


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Protection of faith & religion. Protection of chastity. Enjoying love, mercy & security. Lawful fulfillment of the desires.

Pleasurable way of increasing doing good deeds. Living balanced & harmonious life. Deserving Allahs help. Gaining a lasting relationship (extends to Akhirah)

Advantages ofMarriage in Islam

Individual Level

Social Level

Protecting and ensuring the continuity of human race until its

term. Making and keeping kinship ties. Protecting society from moral degeneracy. Safeguarding society from natural disasters. Protecting society against diseases. Establishment a familial environment.

Increasing the population of Muslim Ummah.Marriage Purpose and Obligation.htm


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Selection of the Spouse

In Islam, man has been givensome choices regardingmarriage. whoever pleasesyou among women, however,some condition found in Quran& Sunnah are required to befulfilled in the sake of establishing an ideal marriage.

Mans Qawwamah


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Criteria Of Selection

1. Religion /Faith righteousness): In Islam the object of marriage is not merely sexual

enjoyment, but is also the formation of a healthy familyatmosphere to provide the husband and wife live withinmutual love and understanding,

A good Muslim must chose a women who can help himto prepare himself for Akhirah.

: :

2. Morality/ Good character:

there are three individuals that, when they supplicate to Allah,

their supplication us not answered: a man who has a women ofbad character and he does not divorce here, a man to whomanother man owes money and he does not have a witnessesover him, and a man who gives money to a weak-mindedperson


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3. Financial CompetenceA Muslim man / a husband has to providemeans of living to his wife and children.Hence, it is essential that he should haveenough means beforehand to dischargethis responsibility.

4. CompatibilityCompatibility and similarity of ideas and ambition of thehusband and wife is one of the most effective factors inestablishing a successful marriage. With compatibilitythere is little chance that any serious differences will arisebetween them.

Rasul Allah said: Make a good choice for yoursperm (off springs) marry those who are

compatible, and get married to them.


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5- Virgin/ Bearer of children/ Loving:These are not conditions but they recommended qualitycontributing to a successful marriage.Rasul Allah said: Marry virgins, because they havesweeter tongue, more fertile wombs, and more satisfiedwith a little of wealthRasul Allah said Marry a woman who is loving andcan bear children for I will boast of your number on theday of resurrection

6- Beauty, wealth and prestige..These can be seen as secondary temporarymotivation which may help people to attract people

each other for the purpose of marriage. However, agood Muslim/ Muslimah should not relay in his/herperception of marriage and family from benefitswhich may come out these factors.

Islam Marriage 6 Etiquettes of Seeking a Spouse.htm


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There is no doubt that it is essential tomake enough investigations about a

prospective husband or wife to ensure thathe or she is fit in most of the aspects toconclude a strong ever lasting contract.

However, useful and reasonableinvestigations should not be mixed up with

the wanton custom of courtship. Suchunrestrained intimacy which people preferto name it differently, it is not allowed inIslam.

L

egal and IllegalM

eans to Know the Spouse


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.][--

][

Salat al-IstikharahSeeking help to make a good decision through relinquishing ones choice to Allah.


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(O Allah, Behold I ask You the good through Your

Knowledge, and ability through Your Power, and beg (YourFavour) out of Your infinite Bounty. For surely You have

Power; I have none. You know all; I know not. You are the

Great Knower of all things.

O Allah! If in Your Knowledge [this matter] be good for myfaith (Deen), for my livelihood, and for the consequences of

my affairs, then ordain it for me, and make it easy for me,

and bless me therein. But if in Your Knowledge, [this

matter] be bad for my faith (Deen) for my livelihood, andfor the consequences of my affairs, then turn it away from

me, and turn me away therefrom, and ordain for me the

good wherever it be, and cause me to be pleased therewith.)


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A Conditions: Bridegrooms & brides eligibility for that marriage. Bridegrooms consent. Brides permission. The Wali (father/close relative/ Imam) presence or approval. The Presence of at least two witnesses.

Basic Elements ofMarriage

B Requirements:

The dowry (Mahr).

C Pillars: The offering (Ijab). The acceptance (Qabul).

D Optional Elements: The Conditions (Shurut).

:

'And give the women (on

marriage) their mahr as a (nikah)free gift"

: ):2(

)(

Parenting Session 2


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The Way Marriage is Contracted No specific ceremony is prescribed for

marriage. In principle it has been stressed thatmarriage should take place publicly. Othermembers of society should know of thisdevelopment, preferably in a way that hasbeen adopted by the society as its usage ('urf)Normally the Nikah (contract of marriage)takes place in a social gathering where

members of both the families and other friendsand relatives gather. Nikah can be performedby any person. Usually in Muslim societythere are persons known as Qadi who

discharge this responsibility.


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In the Nikah-sermon they recite from the

Quran and the Sunnah and invite the spousesto a life of God-consciousness, purity, mutuallove and loyalty and social responsibility. Thenthe marriage is contracted wherein ijab

(proposal) and QubuI (acceptance) are madebefore the witnesses. After the Nikah the bridemoves to the bridegroom's house and bothbegin this new chapter of their life.


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After the consummation of themarriage, the bridegroom holds afeast for the relatives and friends.

The real purpose of thesegatherings and feasts is to makethe event a social function and to letthe society know of it andparticipate in it. The Prophet hasrecommended the people to holdthese celebrations with simplicity

and to share each others joy.


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He said: "The best wedding is that upon which the

least trouble and expense is bestowed."55

And that:


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:" :"

"The worst of feasts are those marriage-feasts to which the rich are invited and the

poor left out. And he who refuses toacce t an invitation to a marria e feast


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