peedee and the potato field

8/9/2019 Peedee and the Potato Field

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PEEDEE AND THE TATER FIELD

By Ron Blank

CHAPTER 1 SOME BACKGROUND

Fifteen miles outside of Flint, Michigan, at the corner of

Center and Carpenter Roads theres a five acre parcel of

land with an apple orchard, a corncrib, a chicken coop,

a white farmhouse with a very large front lawn, which I

had to cut with a push lawnmower every other Saturday

in the summer. It was a very hard two and half hours.

The blisters on my hands barely had time to heal before

it was time to do it again. By the end of summer I had

two hands covered with calluses. I was eleven years

old. There was a well with a hand pump in the front

yard under a winter pear tree. The Emett family and

their three girls lived across the road. I was young, but

not too young to lust for the female body, just too

young to do anything about it. I would sit in front of our

large front window and stare across the road at their

house, imagining what sexual activities they must be

engaged in. My brother, David, six years my elder, had

parties when our parents were away and it was my job

to keep the record changer loaded and running. Wewere of the Glenn Miller and Benny Goodman

generation, and I knew all the record titles by heart, top

and flip sides. I worked the phonograph while David and

his friends worked on other things.

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David taught me to drive. It was his last year in high

school and he had a job watering the greens and doing

general maintenance at Kearsley golf course. He wentto school in the daytime and worked on the golf course

three nights a week, and weekends. I often went with

him and drove the pickup truck that shuttled the hoses

and sprinklers from green to green. We waded for golf

balls in the river that crossed the course and sold them

on Saturday morning in front of the clubhouse; ten for a

dollar for damaged water balls, fifty cents for an

undamaged used Titleist and a dollar for a like-new one.

We fished for bullhead in the same river, swiped

watermelons from a farmers patch, and occasionally

drove into Flint with Davids high school friends to get

large containers of Vernors ginger ale and fat White

Castle hamburgers, and see a movie. Thats how I saw

Ernest Hemmingways The Killers at the Palace

Theater. After David graduated he worked for a year at

Ternstedt General Motors plant and then went into the

Army Air Force. David was very popular in school, a

natural athlete. I always felt that he was more than just

six years older than me.

CHAPTER 2 NEIGHBORS

Mr. Heeburt lived half a mile up the road with his highschool aged son and middle-school aged daughter. Mr.

Heeburt hired me in the summer to weed his garden.

Mr. Heeburt stuffed animals and birds so hunters could

hang them on their walls. I was amazed at how life-like

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they looked especially their eyes and faces. They didnt

look dead, but retired from a dangerous and uncertain

life. I saw no signs of death on their faces.When I was eight I was encouraged to touch my dead

fathers forehead while he lay in his coffin and I was

surprised at how cold he was; as cold as a table top, as

cold as a cement sidewalk in the shade. It shocked and

frightened me. I didnt want to touch the dead animals.

The deer and elk intimidated me with their eyes, as

though I could have somehow prevented their eternal

embarrassment.

Every Wednesday and Friday morning I pulled weeds in

Mr. Heeburts garden. I didnt think his freckle faced

daughter noticed me until one Saturday when he was

gone she invited me into the house for lemonade. I had

never been in the house before. She sat on the couch in

the living room with her legs spread apart and a glass of

lemonade in each hand. I could see her pink panties, and

I knew that she knew I could see them. I tried to hide my

erection by crossing my arms over my lap and juggling

the lemonade glass back and forth between my hands.

She invited me to go upstairs, but I didnt know what to

do and I was scared to death of being discovered by her

brother, who was outside target shooting his twenty-

two rifle. Her brother would set cans on rocks behind hishouse and shoot at them while I was weeding in the

garden. Sometimes I would hear a bullet ricochet and I

would duck, half expecting to be shot. Ricky was kind of

jumpy and I was afraid of him and his gun.

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I had a forty -five pound pull bow and I shot arrows at a

target nailed to the front of our pig pen, but I never

tried to hit anything living. I thought it would be morefair to hunt with a bow and arrow; more in keeping with

the rules of nature. The bow made my arm sore, but at

least I had some muscle to show for it.

CHAPTER 3 MY LIFE

My best friend, Peedee, lived across the field in a tiny

cottage with his parents. His father, Sam, cleaned

outside toilets and septic tanks for a living. Peedees

mother, Willa, who was often ill, was always doing

washing, cleaning, or cooking. Sam was often drunk and

he was mean when he was drunk. Once in a while, when

he was sober, he would take Peedee and me to the

Beecher Township movie theater in the bed of his smelly

work truck. It was always a double feature, often a Gene

Autry or Roy Rogers film, or perhaps an Abbot and

Costello comedy plus a chapter of Batman and Robin or

The Shadow. The theater was always packed with

grateful screaming kids.

I went to Peedees house by passing through our apple

orchard. If Sams truck was parked next to the cottage I

would turn around and go back to my house. If the truck

was gone I knew Sam was gone and Peedee and I couldpitch horseshoes next to the barn.

Michigan winters are very cold and when the ground

begins to thaw in spring farmers start to plow their

fields to plant early potatoes. Peedee missed a lot of

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school because the potato field was his responsibility. It

was his job to hitch up Horse and Mule to pull the plow. I

couldnt help him on school days but I could onSaturdays, and sometimes on Sundays. The Second

World War had just begun and my trip to Peedees was

my cue to practice soldier tactics. I raced across the

field with my stick-rifle, flopping down and belly

crawling in the weeds for a few yards and suddenly

jumping up and dashing left and right like a chased

rabbit. When I came to the creek that Peedee had

diverted for watering his potato field I leapt it like a

commando attacking the enemy, but I always jumped

short and plopped my tenny shoes into the squishy mud,

keeping my balance only by swinging my arms. Peedee

always cleared it in a single leap.

The cottage smelled of damp earth. The floor was

covered with bumpy, faded, linoleum, camouflaged by

gaudy throw rugs, accented by a black beer-belly

shaped wood stove. There was no ceiling. The stove pipe

went straight up and through the flat roof. Thin plywood

partitions, rising to the roof, separated living spaces.

Each partition was nailed against a vertical pole and the

poles were toe-nailed to the underside of the roof at the

top, and to the floor at the bottom. A wire was strung

across each open space and a bed sheet was clothes-pinned to the wire. The smell of weeks of cooking

inhabited the air. Candles and kerosene lamps struggled

to brighten the spaces and threatening shadows played

in the corners. The walls were unembellished sheet rock.

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The only color was on two painted pie plates nailed to

the kitchen wall: a blue plate with a green border and a

small red plate. Pots and pans hung across the width ofthe kitchen from a high board, nailed at each end.

The floor linoleum had cracked and torn loose in places,

showing the decking beneath, and the ground under

that. Here and there a gaudy throw rug broke the

pattern of the linoleum. There was no inside toilet. A

hand pump that brought up water from a well was

mounted on the kitchen sink. I silently marveled over

the taste of the kitchen water. It tasted exactly the

same as the well water at my house. How ironic it was

that we lived in different places and everything about

our homes was different, but the water we drank was

exactly the same. Bathing water was heated on the pot

bellied stove and mixed with cold water in a large round

tub. On winter nights the stove was left to burn out on

its own. Each morning Peedee brought in wood and re-

built the fire. The day I met Willa, Peedees mother, was

a revelation for me. Until then I had know only two kinds

of mothers; American mothers, with regular English, and

foreign mothers with a kind of irregular English. My

mother was one of the latter, having emigrated from

Eastern Europe. Willa was neither. She spoke in definite

English, but used a kind of slangy pronunciation.Light from a kerosene lamp cut yellow creases into

Willas forehead and the sides of her mouth. She had a

sallow skin-and-bones look. She sat, glaring at the

mountain of dirty laundry piled in the corner. I held my

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red knit hat tight against my nose to strain out the

cooking odors that hung in the air like paste. She

offered me an apple-buttered biscuit. I politely said Iwasnt hungry.

Peedee says its plowing time again, I said.

Its getting nigh to it, Willa sighed.

I guess Peedee will have to stay home from school

now, I said.

Well, Willa said, his daddy dont have no time to

plow, and somebody has ta do it. Peedee has been

plantin' taters since he was nine. I dont know how Id

got by without im. I cant hardly get out a bed these

days. Anyhow, I dont spect he will ever graduate. He

sure dont seem to care that hes already a grade

behind. He dont do no homework. Dont they give you

homework at that school?

Yes maam, I get plenty of homework, every day, but

Peedee and I dont have the same classes, except for

gym, so I dont know about his homework, I said.

Uhhuh. I never seen a school book with Peedee,

neither. They do use books there, dont they? she

asked, with a twinge of disgust.

Yes maam, we use books. There may be some classes

where the books are only used at school, though,

because I heard they are short on some books for someclasses

Well, its no matter, anyhow. Hes not agoin

nowheres, Willa said. This will be his farm when Sam

and me pass on and I spect hell stay right here and

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keep on plantin them taters. Hes gotta eat, you know.

As long as he has the farm, he'll eat. Do your folks have

crops?We have corn and potatoes, and apple trees in the

orchard, and a winter pear tree in the front yard, and a

cherry tree in the back yard, I said proudly. We dont

have a way to plow the way you do. We dont have any

horse or mule. We only have chickens, and a pet cat.

Peedee had told me that Sam didnt want him to go to

school, but it was the law, and Sam was afraid to break

the law. I liked to talk about school but I could tell that

Willa was getting annoyed with me for talking about it

so much so I stopped and sat down at the kitchen table,

which was actually a picnic table. Willa stopped talking

too.

There were some carrots in a water glass on the table.

Their leafy green tops made them look like a bouquet of

leafy green flowers. Peedee came in and put the carrots,

tops and all, into his pocket and walked back outside,

leaving the door open. I followed.

Ill untie Horse and show you how to lay out the

harness straps, Peedee said. While yer doin that Ill

get Mule from behind Alices trailer.

Alices trailer? I said. Peedee looked at me and

laughed, That old story bout Alice bein a witch isbullshit. She aint no witch. Shes a crazy old woman

who dont bother nobody. I dont talk ta her and she

dont talk ta me. Ma takes her food n stuff. She dont

hurt nobody. I heard that a long time ago she had a man

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livin with er and he got arrested and sent off ta prison.

She aint never been the same since. When I was small I

used ta wonder about her being a witch, but I dont nomore. Its jest plain bullshit

Peedee patiently showed me how to separate the straps

and put them on Horse and Mule. When Peedee came

back he showed me my mistakes and said, "It's plain

that you ain't never drove no twenty mule teams in

death valley." We laughed.

CHAPTER 4 THE TATER FIELD

Peedee slipped the double harness on Horse and Mule.

They shivered when he touched them, and nudged him

until he gave them the carrots they could smell in his

pocket. He lovingly brushed their flanks and necks. Its

the leas we can do to pay em back fer their hard

work, he said. Peedee favored Horse. He believed

giving animals human names demoralized them; made

them feel like slaves. He did not like nick names and he

believed that animals didnt like them either. A horse

wanted to be called Horse. A Mule wanted to be called

Mule. A dog to be called Dog, Peedee said. I, on the

other hand, gave human names to all animals, even

chickens. I named my favorite rooster General Cluck.

It made it hard for me to kill one for the pot.Horse was huge. I couldve walked under her belly and

only mussed my hair a little, but I was afraid to try.

Peedee hooked his fingers together to make a step up

for me and encouraged me to get on Horses back, but I

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pretended to have a foot cramp. Peedee grabbed

Horses mane and pulled himself up onto her back, just

like in the cowboy and Indian movies. Horse shook herhuge head and pranced around the yard. In a few

minutes Peedee got off and told me to hold Horse while

he went to get Mule.

Peedee came with Mule and we walked Horse and Mule

to where he had left the plow, at the farthest corner of

the potato field. Peedee hooked them up and we began

to plow the length of the field. When the row ended

Peedee unhooked Horse and Mule and stepped them

around in a tight circle. We pulled the plow over the

berm, hooked them back up, and started on the next

row. Peedee held the plow handles with both hands and

threw the reins over his shoulder. Horse didnt need any

coaching. Anyone could see that she had done this

before and was pleased to be working. Mule sometimes

got playful and dug in his heels. We prodded him with a

stick, but in vain. Horse would become impatient and

confront Mules bullheadedness by dragging him along

until he conceded defeat and started pulling again. By

noon every muscle in my body ached and I wanted to

quit, but Peedee dived into the work like a person

possessed. I trudged on, doing my best to avoid

showing my pain.In spite of heavy rain the earth fought the old plow.

When Mule stopped I went to his head and hollered in

his ear to go faster. Peedee told me to hold Mules ear

and whisper into it, but I couldnt reach Mules ear

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without jumping up. Peedee said, Mule will work for

you if you are riding him...if he will let you, and if he

likes you.How will I know if he likes me? I asked.

Jes hold onta his ears, not too tight. Youll fin out if

Mule likes ya. The worse that ken happen is hell buck

ya off. Ill be right there ta catch ya, Peedee laughed.

Peedee stood next to Mule and locked his fingers to

make a step for me. I put my left foot into Peedees

hands. Peedee handily lifted me high enough to get my

right leg over Mules back. Mule shivered a tick, then

settled down and turned his head to get a look at me.

Mule brayed gently and Peedee said, Well, damn it.

Look at that! Mule likes ya! Now all ya have to do is give

a little tug on his ear when ya want to tell im somethin.

Mule wont do that fer me. When I get on im I usually

get rolled off. I spect to be pickin you up off the

ground, Peedee laughed.

Maybe youre too heavy, I said, very pleased with

myself.

Maybe, Peedee replied.

An hour later my bum was sore and getting sorer with

each step. Peedee must have seen me squirm. He said,

I think theres a thick blanket in the barn that ya ken

sit on. Lets take a break and Ill git it. I stayed on Mulewhile he looked for the blanket. Mule and I were

becoming good friends.

In a few minutes Peedee returned. The roof leaks

where the blanket is, he said. The blankets soaked. I

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hung it in the house by the stove. Itll take a whole day

ta dry.

Lets go pitch horseshoes, I said.Not taday, Peedee said. Tamorra Ill quit early, fore

it gets hot and we ken pitch horseshoes.

Tomorrow is Sunday. Do you work on Sunday too?

Sure, Peedee said. I know its Sunday, but what day

tis dont matter none.

Ill come over early and help with Mule, I said.

Peedee said, You dont have ta. You were a big help

today, and a big hit with Mule.

I think so too, I said. I want to come tomorrow.

Peedee always said good things about me even though I

was never as helpful as he said. I think he liked to have

somebody to talk to; somebody who doesnt treat him

like hes a dumb farmer.

By noon every muscle in my body was aching and I

desperately wanted to quit, but Peedee was determined

to go on. I stiffened my backbone and shifted my tail

bone. Peedee hollered at Horse and Mule until his voice

began to crack. I didnt think he would ever stop, but he

finally quit about four oclock in the afternoon.

Lets find somethin ta eat, he said. I think we got

peanut butter, and I think some bloney.

Id better go home to eat, I said. My mother willwonder where I have been all day. Ill be back tomorrow

morning.

You dont have ta come tamorra, Peedee said.

I dont mind, I said. Anyway, I want to see Mule, now

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that were good friends.

Peedee laughed and I took off across the field.

CHAPTER 5 WORK

Willa and Alice first met at Ternstedt General Motors in

Flint. Willa had worked her way up to section foreman

and Alice was hired into her section. Several years

Willas junior, Alice was slow witted and constantly

worried about being fired. Something about Alice

complimented Willas personality, and Willa immediately

took an interest. When Willa learned that Alice ran away

from abusive parents, her sympathy deepened and she

gave Alice the easiest job in the section. They quickly

became friends and soon were visiting Elmers on Dort

highway together. Elmers was a bar and dance hall that

remained open every night for swing shift workers.

Factory people went there to let their hair down and

complain about their jobs. After a few drinks everybody

was having a good time. You could tell a foreman from

an assembly line workers by watching who was dancing

and who was sitting. Line workers were too tired to

twist, and those that tried only lasted a few seconds.

Thats where they met Sam and Jack.

A dead battery in the parking lot in front of Elmers

provided an introduction. One night Willa and Alice wereleaving and Willas car failed to start. Both girls were

standing by the car when Sam and Jack drove in. They

had to walk past the girls to enter Elmers.

Battery trouble? Sam said. I got jumper cables. Pop

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your hood and Ill take a peek.

Willa released the hood latch and Sam opened it. Willa

got a flashlight from her car.Its just a cable come loose from the post. Ill get some

pliers and put it back. My names Sam, and my

handsome yakity-yak friend, talking the arms off yer

friend, is Jack. Do you girls work at Ternstedt?

We work in door spring assembly, Willa said.

Jack and Alice stepped forward.

Were on the other side, hauling graphite, Jack said,

Both of you? Alice asked.

Sam and I work together, Jack said. It takes two guys

to wheel barrow that stuff around, one to haul and one

to fill the hoppers. Its too messy a job for just one

guy, he joked. You mustve seen us, but were always

so black from the graphite that you didnt notice. We

just got here and youre already leaving. That aint fair,

especially since I fixed your car. At least come in and

have a drink on us

We should be goin, Willa said, looking at Alice, but

Alice remained silent.

A few more minutes wont hurt, and anyway, maybe

youll have car trouble again, Jack pleaded with a

smile. I might have to fix it again.

They all went into Elmers.The following week Elmers became a regular stop for the

four of them. A week after that Sam moved in with Willa.

Jack was suddenly and unexpectedly fired. When he told

the others they thought he was joking and tried to laugh

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it off, but Jack swore revenge on the foreman who fired

him. Jack said they had a disagreement, but he wouldnt

say what the disagreement was about. Each night atElmers Jack grew angrier. He refused to look for a new

job. They began to wonder if there was a different

reason why Jack was fired. One night Jack didnt show

up at Elmers. When Alice got home, Jack was waiting for

her in the garage. He told her the police were looking

for him because he broke out the headlights on the

foremans car.

Alice phoned Willa and Sam. Willa said she knew where

Jack could hide and never be found. That night they all

drove out to the country to a little farm that Willa

inherited from her grandmother. There was a cottage, a

barn, a house trailer, and a few acres of land on

Carpenter Road. Jack moved into the house trailer. The

following Saturday Willa and Sam moved into the

cottage, where Peedee would be born, and Alice moved

into the trailer with Jack.

They continued to work at Ternstedt until one day the

police came to the factory, looking for Jack. The police

asked to speak with Jacks friends. The police said Jack

was wanted for burglary in two other states, as well as

in Flint and Detroit. Jack had lied to them. If it had only

been busted head lights, as Jack claimed, he would havesimply paid a fine and the repair costs and that would

have been the end of it. The police said the charge

about broken head lights did not exist,. They told the

police where Jack was and he was arrested that day

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before the others got home. When Alice inquired a week

later she was told that Jack was extradited to New

Mexico, where he was wanted for armed robbery. Soonafter, Sam, Willa, and Alice were laid off. They were told

it was because of cutbacks, but they knew it was

because of their association with Jack. There was no

recourse in those days. If management wanted you

gone, you were gone.

At first they tried to find employment in other factories.

They applied at Buick and Fisher Body, but they were

never called. Somebody had to find another way to earn

a living. None of them had any debt to speak of and the

farm was free and clear to Willa. The feeling was she

shouldnt have to work, since she owned the place. Sam

or Alice would have to find a job. Alice was not strong

and had been leaning on Willa for a long time so it was

up to Sam. Sam decided to grow potatoes for money.

The land was free and the cuttings were cheap enough

from the farmers market, and potatoes were a favored

crop around Flint. There was an old horse-drawn plow in

the barn and a neighboring farmer was changing to

tractor power and would sell his mule at a bargain price.

Sam bought the mule, but the mule refused to pull the

plow. Sam was told by a different farmer that a

stubborn mule would work if coupled with a good horsethat was accustomed to pulling. They all pooled their

money and bought a strong, experienced, young mare.

The trick worked and the mare broke in the mule to

plowing, but Sam was not a good farmer and the first

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year was hard and unprofitable. The potato crop wasnt

big enough to provide any income to speak of. The only

other work Sam could find was cleaning septic tanks.However, that paid well because nobody else wanted to

do it. Sam drove around the countryside contracting

with farmers for cleaning jobs. He mounted a holding

tank on the back of his pickup truck and bought a

battery powered electric pump to fill and drain the tank.

It was not a pleasant way to make a living, but it was

honest and turned out to be profitable. Soon they were

all benefiting from Sams labor. Sam abandoned the

potato field. The next time it would be plowed would be

by his son, Peedee. Peedee was born the same year that

Sam failed at potato farming and started in the septic

cleaning business. By the time Peedee was six years old

Sam had earned a wide reputation for fairness and hard

work. Their financial problems had substantially

diminished but Sam was concerned about the future so

he decided to restart the potato field. He gave the field

to Peedee and showed him how to harness Horse and

Mule and how to hook up the plow. Peedee was big for

the tender age of six and he took to farming like a duck

to water. He didnt need any encouragement. He loved

the animals and they loved him. He marveled at the way

the soil turned so cleanly under the plow. He patientlyplanted the potato cuttings after the plowing was done,

and nursed them along, pulling the weeds almost before

they appeared. Peedee was happy in the field working

with Horse and Mule and his potatoes. When Peedee

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was nine years old their financial problems had

dissolved but Sam started coming home drunk. As more

people learned what Sam did for a living he and Willawere given a wide berth in restaurants and bars where

they had been cheerfully welcomed before. He lied

about his work if he met somebody new or an old friend

from the factory. Willa started staying sick for longer

stretches. She refused to consider seeing a doctor, but

eventually, when Sam made her to go, the doctor

wanted to immediately admit her to the hospital for

more tests. She refused to stay and went home with a

supply of medicine and an appointment scheduled for

three months later, but she never kept it.

CHAPTER 6 GETTING TO KNOW YOU

Peedee and I first met because of a bully who stole my

lunch and played keep-away with it when we were in the

ninth grade. The bully laughed at me and called me that

weird boy who plays the flute. Boys usually play the

trumpet, or some other brass instrument, but when my

father was alive he sometimes played the flute in the

Flint Symphony orchestra. My father died when I was

too young to know him well, and choosing the flute was

my personal way of honoring him. Peedee happened to

walk by when the bully was teasing me about the flute,tossing my lunch bag back and forth to his friend.

Peedee interrupted the game and caught my lunch in

the air. At first I thought Peedee was going to continue

humiliating me, but instead he handed me my lunch bag,

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defying the bully. In that glorious moment Peedee

earned my loyalty and respect forever. Nobody had ever

stood up for me like that before. I never expected to bedefended by someone I didnt even know, let alone

someone dark skinned like Peedee. Some would say he

was a Negro, but he wasnt exactly black. He was a color

between butterscotch and a chocolate milkshake. He

didnt have nappy hair like the other Negro kids at

school. Except for his different skin color he had the

look of any other healthy boy. I decided he was from a

different place, perhaps one of those native islands we

read about in geography. He was taller and stronger

than the other boys. He had a big behind and a big

stomach and some might say he was roly-poly behind

his back, but not to his face. He moved like a skinny

person.

Thanks for standing up to that boy. Hes jealous and

picks on me whenever he can, I said. My name is Josh.

Whats yours?

Peedee, he said.

My mother always packs enough lunch for an army, I

said. I noticed that you didnt bring a lunch. I have

plenty for both of us.

Do ya have any peanut butter? Love peanut butter,

Peedee said.Yes, I do, I said. I have one baloney sandwich and

one peanut butter and jelly.

We found a quiet spot under a shade tree on the school

lawn. I gave Peedee the peanut butter and jelly. In a few

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minutes we figured out that our houses were separated

only by my apple orchard. We took the same school bus

and got off at the same corner, but until that day wehad never spoken to one another. Peedee got off at the

corner of Carpenter and Center roads and walked a

quarter of a mile down Carpenter Road. I lived a quarter

of a mile down Center Road. A line from my backyard to

his backyard would form the bottom of a triangle, with

Carpenter and Center roads as its sides. To get to

Peedees house I only needed to walk through my

orchard, along the bottom of the triangle.

The day we met we got off the school bus together and I

walked to Peedees house. When I saw his tiny house I

was so sad for him. It was only a little cottage, set on a

sandy plot of ground grown over with crab grass and

sand burrs, which clung by the dozens to the bottom of

my pants. His cottage could fit into the bottom floor of

my house with enough space left over for a second

cottage. It was no bigger than our pig pen. Peedee

showed me his horse and mule in the barn. The ground

next to the barn was perfect for a horseshoe pit,

something I wished my house had.

I said, I got a horseshoe set for my birthday, but I

never built a pit because there isnt any sand around my

house, and a horseshoe pit needs sand so the shoes willslide. Youve got plenty of sand. This would be a perfect

spot.

Bring it Saturday, Peedee said. Ill smooth out a spot

fer it.

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We parted and I walked kitty-corner through the orchard

to my house. I looked forward to using the new

horseshoe pit.I told my mother about Peedee and asked her to pack an

extra milk and desert in my lunch. Judging by the way

Peedee gulped down the peanut butter sandwich I gave

him he probably doesnt take a lunch, I said. I knew my

mother would never allow anybody to go without lunch,

if she could help it.

The following Saturday morning I took the horseshoe kit

to Peedees. I stepped off the thirty-four foot distance

between the pits and the additional three feet to the

stake on both ends, and pounded in the stakes with the

five pound sledge I carried from home. Then we

practiced, laughing at our awkwardness. We made our

own rules: five points for a ringer, three points for a

leaner, and two points for a shoe that falls two fingers

or less from the stake. We played until it was too dark

to see.

We rode the school bus together all week. I met

Peedees mother, Willa, the following Saturday. She was

washing clothes on a washboard in the front yard. She

looked sick, hollow cheeked and somber. I asked Peedee

about her.

Theres somethin wrong but we cant afford nodoctor, he said. I think Sams job has somethin to do

by it. Sam empties all them septic tanks, and hes

around chemicals. They get in his clothes and Willa

washes em, so shes around em too.

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What are the chemicals for? I asked.

He puts em in the tanks, Peedee said. They make

everything inta water. Then he pumps it into the tank onhis pickup. He tol me hes his own boss and its worth

it. In the factory he could never do nothin less a boss

was looking over his shoulder.

I said, My father worked at the Fisher-Body plant in

Flint until the factory shut down over a sit-down strike

and he left, I said. He didnt get another job until he

got hired by the WPA, building roads. My father told me

that President Roosevelt put everybody back to work

doing anything so the people could eat and the country

could get back on its feet. When my dad got sick we had

no money for doctors, either. We took him to Hurley

hospital in Flint and he died. Then my mother married

Thor, who was living with us and was my fathers best

friend. Then we moved to Center road. Thor fixes cars at

the Phillip Thomas car repair in Flint. Thor is a really

good metal bumper. We can go there some time and see

him.

I dont know nothin bout cars, Peedee said. I like

animals, specially horses. When I get out a high school

Woodcroft Stables will hire me to care fer their horses,

Peedee said. Sam sez hes got friends there.

CHAPTER 7 OUR HIDEAWAYS

Instead of plowing on Sunday we went into the woods

behind Peedees cottage. He took a rusty bolo knife and

a saw from the barn.

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Last year I started makin a hidin place out here,

Peedee said, fer when I want to get out a the house.

Sometimes Sam has too many and comes home realdrunk, Peedee said, reflectively.

What is he like when hes drunk? I asked. Some

drunks are mean and others are happy or sad. After

Thor drinks three or four beers he goes to sleep.

Peedee said, I only saw Sam mean drunk one time, but

that was anuff. He pushed Willa so hard she falled

against the kitchen stove when it was red hot. I wanted

to kill im. I was so mad I swung at im, but he jest

turned and left. He didnt even tell er he was sorry! If

Sam ever really hurt Willa, I would kill him too. I told im

that once, and I know where theres a gun hid. Willa

thinks nobody knows, but I know.

We walked further into the woods, flicking the branches

from our faces. I looked back, but I couldnt see the

cottage anymore. Peedee stopped at a tall patch of thick

scrub brush and started pulling it apart.

This is it, Peedee said. Help me make a place ta sit in

this clump. Thisll be our meetin place. If Im here when

you come over Ill make up a sign. Ill pile up some rocks

up by the horseshoes. Ill show ya later on. We talked

very little between choruses of exertion from pulling,

cutting, and sawing. We cut a round open space in thecenter of the tough overgrowth. We covered it with

leaves and branches cut from the surrounding area. We

made a moveable door and disguised it with leafy

branches laced together with strips of bark. We

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congratulated ourselves. When we left we decided that

if we didnt know where it was we could not have found

it. Peedee went back to the cottage to get a blanket tosit on and a rake to smooth the ground. He took off his

tee-shirt. I saw new welts on his back that, I figured,

were put there by Sams belt. I understood why Peedee

wanted a secret place to hide in. We sat down on the

blanket and lit up lucky strike cigarettes and inhaled

contentedly until they burned down. Peedee showed me

a snapshot of Willa, standing next to Alice in the

Ternstedt employees parking lot. I had a wallet insert,

filled with pictures of my mother and Thor, and one

precious snapshot of my father, taken in the 1930s. He

was dressed in a business suit and wore a New York

style felt hat. He died at Hurley Hospital from lung

disease from being gassed in the World War. He was

only forty years old. The day he died the school principal

came to my classroom to tell me I was wanted at home. I

was afraid of what it was about and I ran past each city

block, in what later seemed like a single leap, until I

reached our tenement building and got into a waiting

taxi with my mother and brother. At the hospital we

were told my father died that morning while the nurse

was bathing him. I had seen him just two days before,

but I could not talk to him because he was asleep andhad an oxygen tent covering his head. A few weeks

after the funeral my mother married Thor, my fathers

best friend and our long time boarder. Marriage in those

days was often not about love. It was about putting food

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on the table and paying bills.

Our corncrib is a good hideaway I said. Nobody goes

there, except me. Thats where I keep my comic booksand cigarettes. Our corncrib was shaped just like the

letter A. The sides were built up with one-by-fours the

length of the building from the ground to the ridge at

the top, each one-by-four was separated from the next

one by a crack wide enough for my fingers and toes to

fit into. I climbed to the loft on the inside using the

cracks like the rungs of a ladder. I took an old discarded

blanket from the house to put over the spaces between

the slats, and I found some burlap bags to hang across

the ends, enclosing the space into a private room.

Monday after school we got off the bus together and

went to my corncrib.

Itll be nice up here in the winter, Peedee said.

Would it be okay for me to come here by myself,

sometimes, if I need a place, you know, in an

emergency? Sam ken go hog-wild when hes goodn

drunk. He wouldnt think to come fer me over here.

Sure you can, I said. Any time you want. There was

a broken broom handle on the floor next to me. If you

come up here when Im not around take this stick and

shove it between the slats, and when I see it sticking

out Ill know youre up here.

CHAPTER 8 WINTER STARTS

Thanksgiving was a week away and my mother and Thor

took Thanksgiving very seriously. It was their way of

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celebrating their American citizenship. Thor came from

Stockholm, Sweden and my mother from Bukovina, a

small province in northern Romania, by way of EllisIsland. On Thanksgiving my mother wasnt allowed to

cook for us. Thor always took us a few miles north of

Flint, to Frankenmuth, a little town famous for beer and

European dinner houses. I could order anything I wanted

and there was plenty of ice cream and cake and Danish

for desert. I wanted to share Thanksgiving with Peedee,

but my mother said it wasnt a good idea, even if he had

permission.

I know you worry about your friend, she said, and

from what you said about Sams drinking, Peedee might

not have a good Thanksgiving, but you would still be

taking him away from his mother on a family holiday.

You dont know how she might feel about that, even if

she agreed to let him go. It just wouldnt be right. You

already told me she is sick a lot. But, we can still do

something nice for Peedee and his mother, and Sam too.

I can cook a big meal for them of fried chicken and

cranberry sauce, potatoes and gravy, and bake a pie and

a couple of loaves of that good smelling bread that you

like so much!

Peedee would think its charity and he would never

accept it, I said.They dont have to know where it came from, she

argued. We can do it like the Salvation Army does.

Nobody complains about that. You just leave it on the

porch at night, when they are all asleep. When they

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wake up in the morning they will find it outside the

door. A lot of people get food boxes for Thanksgiving.

We dont have to tell them its from us. Peedee willnever know, unless we tell him. Believe me, they will

keep the food. People dont throw good food away in

this day and age.

My mother was so enthusiastic about the plan that I

decided, Okay. Lets do to! I just wont say who its

from. I could tell Peedee about it some time in the

future, if I wanted to.

Well, my mother said, Thanksgiving is next Thursday

and, of course, were , going to Frankenmuth again. For

Peedees family you will have to kill a chicken, pluck it,

and clean it. I will stuff it, cook it, and make some

trimmings. Today is Monday so we have three days to

get everything ready. We will finish it all on Wednesday.

You can do the chicken today. I will bake and cook

tomorrow and Wednesday. Wednesday night you can

take everything and put it on Peedees porch.

My mother was so excited about doing this that I

couldnt tell her that Peedee didnt have a porch, so I

thought I would set the tray down just outside their

door, instead.

We had our first heavy snow Wednesday and because of

the wet ground I decided to hand Peedee the tray at hisdoor Thursday morning, before we left for Frankenmuth,

instead of Wednesday. My mother dictated a note for

me to stick on top, Remove pie and cranberry sauce

and keep bread, turkey, dressing, gravy, and potatoes

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warm in oven until eaten. I squeezed in the word

Please just before Remove.

When Peedee came to the door early Thursday morning Icrowed, Im going to Frankenmuth today with my

family for Thanksgiving, but Ill be over tomorrow, I

turned left him standing there in the snow with his

mouth hanging open, in his bare feet, holding the warm

tray. I wanted it to be a genuine surprise, and I believe

it was.

On the way to Frankenmuth I told my mother what I did ,

and that I knew I confused him but I was glad I didnt lie

to him about where the food came from. I decided that

the best solution to a dilemma is the one that pops up in

the last minute, leaving no space for exaggeration or

lies.

There was enough snow now for boots and sleds. Mr.

Heeburt gave me an old pair of cross country skis and

poles. Peedee and I tried to ski but we couldnt stand up

on them and use the poles at the same time without

shrieking with laughter. Peedee preferred the rose-bud

brand belly-flop sled that a farmer traded Sam in

payment for a septic tank cleaning. We took the skis

and sled to the pig farm at the corner of Center and

Carpenter roads with the razor back slopes. The Flint

River ran through the pig farm and church groups wentthere to be baptized in summer. In winter the slopes

were thick with snow. The longest and steepest slope

stopped at the river. I barely managed the cross country

skis on a flat field, but for some beef-witted reason I

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thought it would be easier to ski on a slope. Peedee

greased his sled runners and I greased my skis with

candle wax and we headed down a long slope, side byside. At the bottom Peedee stopped his sled by

dragging his hands and feet but my ski poles were

useless as brakes and my feet were locked to my skis. I

went past the bottom of the slope, over the edge, and

instantly dropped flat into the river! Miraculously, I

landed standing up, knee deep in icy water, skis intact

and extended, just like I was still on the slope! I looked

back and saw Peedee, doubled over with laughter. If it

wasnt for my freezing feet and legs I would have

laughed too. We walked to Peedees cottage where I

dried my clothes in front of his pot belly stove.

CHAPTER 9 STAYING AWAY

A week before Christmas Sam came to our house.

Im Peedees father. My house is over there, through

your orchard, He told my mother. He was plainly drunk.

Have ya seen my boy, Peedee? Hes friendly with yer

boy. I need him now cause he aint done none a his

chores today. He made a vain effort to disguise his

intoxication by holding himself tight to the porch railing

with his left hand. Ill whip his hide real good when I

ketch im, he said, gesturing a switching movementwith his right arm.

Why, no, I havent seen him, my mother said. You

know, dear, she said to Thor, who hurried to the door

upon hearing Sams slurred speech, hes that friend of

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Joshs who lives on Carpenter road.

We havent seen him today, but well telephone you if

we see him? my mother said. We can ask Josh. Nowwhere is that Josh? she snapped.

I seen Josh. He vas going upstairs, Thor said.

Ill find Peedee, you kin bet on it, Sam said. I dont

have no phone, nohow. He walked back to the road,

cursing.

If I find out anything Ill send Josh over to your...... my

mother said, but he was gone before she could finish her

sentence. From my bedroom window I saw Sam walk

back to his truck. I thought Peedee might be hiding in

the corncrib and I was afraid Sam would look there. I ran

to my back window from where I could see the corncrib.

I saw a spear of blanket pushed out through one of the

slats where the loft was. It was Peedee. I ran downstairs

and I saw Sam leave his truck and walk back into our

yard toward the pig pen. My father walked out to meet

him. Whatever my father said must have discouraged

Sam because he went back to his truck, got in, and

drove away. I went outside and walked toward the

corncrib, but before I got there I saw Sam walking back

up the road toward our house. Apparently he wasnt

satisfied and he was coming back to have another look. I

passed the corncrib and met Sam on the road.I saw Peedee running toward your house a few minutes

ago! I shouted. Right after you left! He ran through

the orchard! Hes probably home by now!

He better run, Sam shouted back. When I ketch im

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Ill teach im runnin! Sam walked back toward his truck

again. When I was certain Sam had left I went up to the

loft in the corncrib where I found Peedee slumped downin a corner, lighting up one of my cigarettes. I didnt see

Sam any more that day.

CHAPTER 10 THINGS SETTLE DOWN AGAIN

My job at home was to feed the chickens, gather eggs,

hoe weeds, plant and pick corn, tomatoes, green beans,

and dig potatoes. I started planting in spring, as soon as

the ground thawed. Occasionally my mother would want

a chicken for the pot. That, too, was my job. Bringing

the axe down on a chickens stretched neck and

watching it flail around while it bled to death ruined my

day, my next day, and my day after that. At an early age

I concluded that every creature that is conscious has a

soul, and deserves to live out its life without feeling the

sharp edge of an ax, or any other life canceling terror. It

was over for Chicken, but I was stuck with a guilty

conscious and several nights of bad dreams. It seemed

that hunting and killing animals was what real men were

supposed to do in Michigan. Michigan is for hunters;

deer, bear, elk, wolf, coyote, rabbit, fox, some say even

mink and panther, not to mention the birds, like

pheasant, grouse, turkey, duck, and quail. I havepossibly missed some. Thor owned a double barreled

twelve gauge shotgun that I learned to shoot when I was

thirteen years old. Thor showed me how to insert the

cartridges, aim the gun, and squeeze the trigger. It was

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promised to be back to get us. We didnt have any

confidence in Sams promises but figured we could hitch

a ride back if we had to.The first movie had started and we no sooner found our

seats when someone shouted, Go Kearsley! Someone

else answered with, Go Tanner! Tanner was just an

elementary school that fed into Kearsley, but that didnt

matter to the kids, it was something to shout about. We

joined in. We cheered for both schools. Then someone

else shouted, Hurray Beecher. There was no response;

complete silence, in a theater full of wild kids. Then

everybody giggled simultaneously, followed with a

mocking ha ha ha, three times, by everybody in

unison. It was weird and energizing at the same time. I

had heard radio reports about Hitlers hypnotic rallies.

Thats what it sounded like. The only thing missing was

the Zig Heil.

The first feature was Abbot and Costello Meet

Frankenstein, which brought the house down, followed

by an ad to get us to buy popcorn and candy. The

second film featured the Three Stooges. Then a Batman

serial, followed by a preview of coming attractions, and

finally a March of Time film about the war in Europe.

Everybody whistled and cheered for the Allies and

booed the Nazis. We stayed until after the beginning ofthe next showing before we gave up our seats.

After waiting in front of the theater for forty-five

minutes, and not seeing anyone we knew to beg a ride

from, we decided to walk. We counted fence posts. The

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one who saw the tallest fence post first got a point. We

sometimes disagreed over exactly what a fence post

was and its exact height. When that happened we wentover and measured it against Peedees body, since he

was the tallest, sometimes arguing over a jutting

splinter of wood on the top of the post. We raced up and

down the road and took side trips into the fields. We

took a short cut through the woods and came to a road

we didnt recognize, and asked a man chopping on a

tree where Center Road was. He said we missed it by

four miles. He said we were closer to Kearsley High

School than to either Center or Carpenter Roads. We

knew where Kearsley was in the local geography so we

started walking in the opposite direction, toward our

houses, and after a while we recognized the route the

school bus traveled. We put our thumbs out and

immediately got a ride in the bed of a pickup truck.

You boys should be home after dark. If you were my

boys youd be home, safe and sound, the driver

shouted at us. We said we got lost walking home from

the Beecher movie theater. He shook his head in

wonder, and took us right up to my driveway. My

mother wasnt home. Sometimes she went across the

road to visit the Emmets. We climbed up to the corncrib

loft and took off our shoes, stretched out, and fellasleep. When Peedee woke up he started talking about

Sam.

Lotsa times I hafta get Sam home from the bar. He

said. Willa makes me ride Horse to the bar and git Sam

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home fer supper, Peedee said. Theres a bar at the

end a Pierson Road, next to the groshry. The bartender

is a old friend a Sams from the factry. Sam goes nutswhen hes bad drunk and that bartender knows jest how

ta handle im. I was there to get Sam one time when

Sam argued with a man sittin a few stools down bout

who was the bes Mayor a Flint. Sam said Karpinski. The

other man said Ballard. Sams face got real red. The

bartender told the other man to jest agree with Sam or

shut up. The man said no ta that. He kep on arguin and

looked crooked at Sam. Sam walked down and hit the

man in the face; knocked im clean off his stool. The

bartender went to call the police. Sam left in a hurry.

He didnt wanna mess with no police. When I got home

Sam said fer me ta tell the police the other man started

it. I said okay cause I dont want Sam mad at me. I was

lucky I was never asked.

CHAPTER 12 A GOOD DAY THAT TURNED BAD

I had a knack for making ringers with the end-over-end

horseshoe throw. I threw palm up. Peedee held the shoe

flat, like you hold a rock close to the body, and flip it

with the wrist, to skip it across a pond. That way the

shoe is supposed to twist and hook the post, instead of

flopping onto the post, open end first. I tried it, butcouldnt do the twist and hook method. My way didnt

always work, but once I found the range I made a ringer

nearly every time.

One evening, just before dark when I had that magic

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touch and Peedee was struggling to keep up with me

with his twist and hook throw, Sam came up behind

Peedee, hollering and cursing for no reason I could see.Peedee was concentrating on the game and didnt see

Sam come up behind him. Peedee was imitating my

method of throwing and he swung his arm up and around

backwards, several times, comically, like a softball

pitcher winding up, and Sam walked right into his

roundhouse swing on its way down. The steel horseshoe,

when it came down, dug into the side of Sams head.

Sam yelped and blood poured from his left ear. Sam

grabbed Peedees arms from behind and shook him

savagely, like you would shake a small tree to uproot it,

then he threw Peedee hard against the barn. Sam was

bad drunk. He let go a flood of swear words against

Peedee. Peedee dropped to his knees and covered his

head with his arms. Sam grabbed a horseshoe in each

hand and started beating on Peedees head and back,

wherever he could find an opening. Peedee howled and

finally slumped sideways against the barn and didnt

move. Willa must have heard the uproar and was

screaming at Sam from the cottage door. I ran toward

Willa.

She was standing in the doorway, holding a pistol in her

hand. She slid the gun into my hand, like you would abaton in a relay race. I stood there, praying something

would stop Sam before he got to me, but that was not to

be. He came on, his head and shirt smeared with blood

and his face twisted in pain until he was only a dozen feet

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away, the horseshoes held up high, ready to bring them

down on me. I pointed the gun up in the air and fired. The

explosion didnt derail him in the least. When he waswithin arms length, and about to bring the horseshoes

down on my head, I pointed the gun directly at his chest

expecting him to stop his advance when he saw the gun

in my hand, and then, suddenly, he fell backwards like a

slab of stone. I dont remember hearing the gun go off,

but I did feel my hand jerk. I looked down and there was

Sam, flat on his back as though struck by lightning, face

up, staring, but not looking at anything. My first thought

was that I had never seen Sam so speechless before.

Willa calmly picked up Sams wrist, felt for a pulse, and

then let it drop to the ground. She pealed my fingers

away from the gun, and took it. I marveled at Willas

sense of command; her self control. Instead of being

shocked she seemed most interested in getting the mess

in her yard cleaned up! She walked quickly toward Alices

trailer and saw Peedee, who could not have seen us from

his position by the barn.

She shouted, Peedee. Git up! Git out inta the woods!

You have ta hide! The po-lice are comin. You dont wanna

be layin there when they git here. Peedee rose up and

staggered toward the woods. I knew exactly were he was

going.Willa went to Alices trailer. She pushed herself inside

and came out with Alice in tow, rubbing her eyes and

clutching the front of her tattered robe. Without a word

Willa walked Alice over to Sams body. Standing a head

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taller than Alice she said, You shot im! Then she

forced the gun into Alices hand and held it there.

Alice, you shot Sam! You shot Sam! Say it! Say it! Willacommanded.

I guess.I shot Sam. Alice meekly obeyed, just as Im

sure she obeyed when Willa was her boss in the factory,

No, Willa said, You dont guess you shot Sam. You

knowedyou shot Sam. It was a brave thing you done. I

seen it, Willa said. Look at yer hand. Yer holdin the

gun. Willa looked down at Alices hand. Alices eyes

followed Willas down to the gun. You went crazy and

you shot im! It was a accident. Sam was wantin to have

his way with you agin, jus like you toll me he did before,

but this time you shot im instead, jus like you said you

would do. I would ave done the same. He deserved it.

Yes, I shot im. He was gonna do it agin! I knowed it. He

was gonna do it! Alice said.

He raped ya! Willa said. Say he raped ya to the po-

lice! Willa kept after Alice.. Did ya shoot Sam? Willa

said with great passion.

Yes! Yes! I shot im! Alice said with equal passion.

Why? Why did you shoot im? Willa said.

Cause he rape me! Alice echoed with full conviction,

eyes popped open and head nodding up and down like a

puppets head tied to a string.He was a evil man. Im glad I shot im.

Twas a brave thing you done. You shot a evil man for

doin a evil thing, Willa said.

Turning to me, Willa said, Run to yer house and call the

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po-lice. Tell em you seed Alice shoot Sam. Be sure to say

Alice shot Sam. No more than that. Dont tell nothin

bout Peedee. Peedee warnt here taday. You understan?Peedee warnt here taday.

I flew across the creek, charged through the orchard,

pushed the kitchen door open and breathlessly squealed.

Alice shot Peedees father!

What? What did you say? my mother said.

Sam was beating on Peedee, was the only thing I could

think of. My mouth was so dry and my throat so tight I

could barely get the words out. Alice shot and killed

him, I said. Peedees mother said to call the police.

They dont have a phone. I was crying from the

excitement and my voice was cracking. My mother told

me to sit down and compose myself.

Now, who was killed? Who shot who? Who is Alice? she

said in rapid order. We have to call the police, I said.

I dont understand, she said. Calm down and tell me

exactly what happened. If Im going to call the police I

want to know why!

I took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and forced myself to

relax a bit and finally said in a measured voice, Alice is

the woman who lives in the trailer next to Peedees

cottage. She shot and killed Sam, Peedees father, with a

gun. My mother was as still as a statue.Are you sure you know what you are saying? she finally

said.

Yes, I am sure. We have to call the police!

Okay, okay, she said. Why? Why did Alice shoot him?

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that I had seen in a science magazine, and how I planned

to run the string from my window to Peedees barn.

Peedee said it was very silly idea and would never workbecause the string wouldnt stay tight, like a wire would.

It was time for Thor to come home from work. I left

Peedee in my room and went downstairs.

Ill tell Thor what happened, my mother said. You and

Peedee get washed up for supper.

When he first came to America Thor worked on a ranch in

North Dakota. Thor and my father slept in the same

bunkhouse. My father went to North Dakota to find work

when he was discharged from the Army. After many harsh

winters they left to find jobs in the Michigan auto industry

that were advertised on the radio. Flint was the first train

stop, and it bustled with factories. My father got a job at

the new Fisher Body plant at the south end of Flint. Thor

was worried about being chastised for his European

accent in a big factory so soon after the war and sought

out a job in a Swedish owned repair garage as a metal

bumper, something he knew about from being a

blacksmith in Oslo.

She walked outside to meet him. Thor stopped short of his

usual spot. He was not in the habit of being greeted

outside. Thor and my mother talked for a long time.

When they finally came inside, Thor was flashing his usualfriendly Swedish smile. He was naturally good natured.

He said, I smell cherry pie and bread. I hope you made

much of it. I am hungry to eat a whole one. He laughed.

Thors open laugh and wide smile was what people

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nodded, turning up a corner of his mouth into a smile.

Thor insisted on telling the police that Peedee would be

staying with us, in case they wanted to have someonecome out to see him, which never happened and was

forgotten about in a few days. There was not even a

telephone inquiry. However, the story was in the

newspaper the next day, except for any of our names. It

was illegal to print the names or addresses of minors in

the newspaper, in connection with a crime. Alice was sent

to the state mental hospital, as I had predicted, and Willa

was finally admitted to the hospital and then moved to a

nursing home because there was no one to care for her at

her cottage. Horse and Mule stayed in the barn and

Peedee and I walked over every day to feed and water

them.

Now Peedee had a nice place to stay and lots of time to

study. I wanted him to be comfortable. I wanted to

unchain him from that potato field. I wanted him to win at

everything from board games to foot races. We both

volunteered for the football team. I was the team center

previous year. I taught Peedee everything I knew. That

year at the football tryouts I knew exactly what mistakes

to make that would keep me off the team, and Peedee

knew all the plays, strategy, and routine, and was easily

picked to be the new center. The coach looked askance atme, but it was done and couldnt be changed. I introduced

Peedee to every girl I knew and I crowed over his size,

strength, and athletic ability. Thor asked him to come

with us to Tuesday night bowling. Bowling was the only

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thing Thor and I did together just for fun. Peedee once

told me that rolling a ball down an alley to knock over

some bottles was silly, and not even a sport.Nevertheless he grudgingly agreed to come to bowling,

saying, Cause I live here, I owe you that much. Thor

asked me to show Peedee the basics. Teaching Peedee

how to bowl was a challenge, in view of his contempt the

game. I was a fair bowler for my age and had a small nine

pin handicap. I suggested that Peedee, as a beginner,

should have at least twice that, because he was new. The

bowling committee accepted the suggestion, and within a

month Peedee had greatly improved and was asking for

his own ball and shoes, which Thor immediately provided

for him with a great flourish and fatherly words of

encouragement. I could see that Peedees personality was

more akin to Thors than mine. Peedee filled certain gaps

in our familys fabric that I had been unable to fill. Peedee

had manner that, I could see, Thor found agreement with.

I recognized that my family position had quietly changed

from third to fourth in the hierarchy.

A few days later I was gathering eggs in our chicken coop

when Thor said, out of the blue, The league is looking for

handicaps and you vill be no more. They tink youre good

now to be, ah, how I say, on your own. I pivoted on a

dime and the hen pecked my hand. It is favor, Thorsaid. That meant Peedees score could actually equal

mine, or even be better than mine!

Will Peedee lose his handicap too? I asked.

No, he stays, Thor said.

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But, Peedee is doing much better now! He averages

almost 160. He even bowled a 200 game last week! I was

angry.You know that vas yust a fluke. Thor said. You know,

his fadder vas murder; his mudder has cancer. Ve dont

vant it make be vurst. It has been one bad year for poor

Peedee.

I know, I said respectfully, but indignantly. Ive been

helping him win at everything I can, for Petes sake, I

was pleading, as long has hes been living with us! As

soon as I said it, I realized I sounded pathetic. I was

helping Peedee in every way I could, but I resented his

popularity, his strength, and especially his influence and

the respect he received from Thor and my mother. Now I

even resented the grief Peedee displayed over Sams

death. Sam beat him and overworked him every day of his

life! Why should he grieve for Sam? Peedee should be

thanking me! I took all the risk. Peedee isnt being beaten

or humiliated anymore. Hes not working behind Mule and

Horse anymore. If it wasnt for me his mother wouldnt be

getting her medical help. Even poor sick Alice is better off

in the state hospital than she was in that trailer! I

stopped all that when I killed Sam. But, of course, Peedee

doesnt know It was me, not Alice, who killed Sam. When

Willa dies I will be the only one who knows the true story.Sometimes I wondered if I should tell Peedee. He would

appreciate me more if he knew. Something told me that

wouldnt be a good idea. I couldnt take it back if it turned

out to be a mistake.

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CHAPTER 13 MOVING ON

I remained in Peedees shadow until I graduated fromKearsley and left for Eastern Michigan College. Peedee

said he would quit high school when I left and move back

to the cottage. I am sure he was anxious to do that. He

never really settled into school, in spite of his improved

circumstances.

I went home on holidays, and kept in touch with my

mother by telephone between visits. In my sophomore

year at Eastern my mother wrote me that Willa had died

in hospice, and Peedee took a woman and her young son

into the cottage with him. A few weeks later she told me

the woman left, leaving the boy behind with Peedee.

My sophomore year I was busy studying and working

evenings at Madisons china shop in town, where I

packed, wrapped, and shipped goblets and china plates.

On my last home visit I noticed that the chicken feed bin

was nearly empty, and many nests didnt have a sitting

hen. Thors work hours were reduced, cutting his pay by a

almost a third. My mother wasnt baking and canning as

much. I was gone and Thor worked all day. There was

nobody home to help her with the work; nobody to pick

apples or cherries, dig potatoes, winter pears, or do the

odd jobs. My mother told me Thor was discouraged andhad started to drink on the way home from work. He

never did that before. She said they were arguing about

little unimportant things, like leaving dirty dishes in the

sink, or forgetting to gather the eggs from the coop. My

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mother said it was only because Thors work was slow. I

had one more year of college to get my teaching

credential, and then I could help. When I was home againeverything would go back to normal, she said. Adding to

the disintegration, the bowling league had disbanded and

there had been a tornado in Beecher Township,

destroying our old movie theater and half the town of

Beecher.

One day I was eating lunch in the student lounge when I

saw the words, GHOST OR WITCH? emblazoned across

the cover of a gossip magazine someone had abandoned

on the next table. The words didnt impress me as unusual

for a gossip magazine but I was struck dumb by a picture

of Alice standing next to her trailer. The picture was

fuzzy, but it was definitely Alice, wearing blue jeans. The

article was basically accurate: the fight in the yard, the

horseshoes attack, the shooting, and Alices confession.

Still, there was something wrong with the picture, but I

couldnt put my finger on it. I scoured the rest of the

magazine and there werent any more pictures or words

about the headline. The article said Alice, according to

some, was a witch. It read, ...a malevolent man who was

alleged to have engaged in devious sexual acts was

murdered there by Alice... and the new owner, the mans

son, is tearing down the buildings to purge away theghosts. I put the magazine in my binder. That night in my

apartment, staring at the picture, I realized it was a

picture of the side of the barn where our horseshoe pit

was located, but the pit was nowhere to be seen! The

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explanation came to me the next morning: A long time ago

Peedee had a snapshot of Alice and Willa, taken in the

parking lot when they worked together in the factory. Isaw it when we shared wallet pictures in my corncrib. In

the snapshot Alice had on blue jeans. When she lived in

the trailer she always wore her house robe! I never saw

the blue jeans. Peedee and I had talked about how she

never wore anything but that old robe. Obviously, the

magazine reporter had found that old parking lot picture,

and merged it in with a recent picture of the barn without

the horseshoe pit! I wanted to call the magazine and tell

them the picture was phony, but I knew that would be a

big mistake. I would just make myself a target. I worried

that the magazine might come looking for me until I

remembered the police report had never associated my

family with the incident. After a few weeks, when nothing

further happened, I dismissed the magazine article and

picture from my mind. Nevertheless, I still remained

careful with my words. I didnt forget that I had killed

Sam, and had gotten away with it so. Every year I itched

to invite Peedee to my college open house, but I couldnt

risk what he might say to my friends, and open up

questions that I didnt want to be asked about Peedee.

Sometimes I wondered if I actually had a predilection for

violent crime. I had used a gun as a weapon, and Sam onlyhad horseshoes. Its true, the gun wasnt my idea, but I

pulled the trigger, twice, and killed a man. I have to be

guilty ofsomething, probably manslaughter, or murder,

depending on a judge and jurys point of view. I knew that

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if there were ever a trial I would have no chance of being

hired as a school teacher. I could survive only if I put the

incident completely behind me and never think of it again.My guilty conscience drove me to enroll in a criminology

class in my final year. The class went on a field trip to

Jackson maximum security State Prison. We were walked

through the cell blocks, and allowed to observe a general

discussion group by the inmates, which only strengthened

my resolve to keep my mouth shut. We were allowed to

ask questions, but none of us did. The situation was so

unusual for my class that I believe we were all afraid we

would ask stupid questions and be humiliated. As to

whether I learned anything about my own criminal

proclivity, of course, I didnt. Instead of helping me both

trip and the class brought my problem into sharper focus,

increasing my preoccupation with it. I dropped the class

before my worry started to show up in my health, grades,

and worst of all, my conversation.

CHAPTER 14 HOME

I put my name on a list to be interviewed by the Kearsley

Unified School District. After my initial interview at the

college I received a telephone call setting up an

appointment at the Kearsley district office for the

following week. At the interview I was offered aprobationary job teaching summer school, starting just

two days after graduation in June, six months hence. I

would replace a newly retired fifth grade teacher. If they

liked me there was a good chance I would be offered a

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He got by, I said, but it looks like hes better at pool.

I turned to look at Peedee. He didnt look up. The room

was as silent as a church during communion. Only theeight ball remained on the table, and it was Peedees

shot. He looked like Ahab surveying the expansive green

sea to line up a harpoon shot on Moby Dick. I smiled. He

never concentrated like that in high school. I had to

conceal my amazement when he actually sunk the eight

ball with a table length three cushion shot that dribbled it

into a side pocket! It was an impossible shot! He made my

pool playing look like kindergarten stuff. He collected his

winnings in his fist and staggered over to the bar with an

empty beer mug. Banging it down on the bar top, he

slurred, Play it agin Sam, one more time. Gimme another

damn beer! he said in a celebratory tone, shoving his

beer mug across the counter to the bartender. He was

ignored. His facial expression attested to his annoyance

with the bartender. His anger looked almost personal.

Sliding into the next bar stool, I said. Hi, Peedee,

remember me?

He slowly turned and looked at me through bloodshot

eyes. I was perplexed to see him wearing thick

eyeglasses. I wondered if the beating he received from

Sam had affected his eye sight.

I don believe it, he said, rubbing red eyes with hisknuckles. If it aint ol Josh. Bartender, give us another!

Peedee demanded. Better yet, make it a pitcher a beer. I

can afford it. The bartender looked ambivalent as he

slowly reached into the beer cooler under the bar. He set

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a single bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon in front of Peedee,

and looked at me.

I shook my head. Nothing for me, I said. Peedee chug-a-lugged the beer and raised his fist to the bartender.

Wheres that pitcher I asked fer? Peedee said with a

slur.

No, Peedee, the bartender declared, a little too bravely.

You had a lot already, he said more respectfully. How

about a sandwich? I bet you didnt have a bite to eat all

day. I can steam you a couple of hot dogs in a minute.

No. Dammit. I don want no goddamn samich. I want a

goddamn pitcher a beer!

I could see the ghost of Sam streaming out of Peedee. I

interrupted Peedees attack on the bartender, Do you

still live in the same place? I said.

Peedee turned to me. Yup! Sure do! he said. Waitll

you see the place I built. It aint no dinky lil ol cottage

nomore! You should see it!

I want to, I said. I had accidentally tapped into a subject

he took great pride in. I decided to push my luck. You

know, Aaron is in my class at Tanner. Ive seen you pick

him up from school.

So, yur the new teacher he tol me bout, he said

insolently. His tone was filled with contempt. He glared at

me. I was suddenly overcome with an intense feeling ofhatred for Peedee. Aaron is doing quite well, I said as

politely as I could manage, considering. Peedee was

having none of my conciliatory tone. He stood up, as if to

challenge me, but lost his balance and slumped forward

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in a flash he said, but I kept Horse for the kid, proving

to me that he retained his love and respect for the

animals, something we had bonded on in the past.There was a longer, more thoughtful pause, and I thought

Peedee had dozed off when he said, You dont have

nothin to do with that magazine pitcher, do you?

What magazine picture? I said, increasing the pressure

of my foot on the accelerator, so navigating the rocky

road would demand my full attention. If I said anything at

all I knew it would lead to a discussion, and that would

lead to revisiting a piece of history I desperately wanted

to avoid. Then I saw his new house.

Wow, is that yours? I said, as enthusiastically as

possible without sounding patronizing.

Thats it, he asserted.

You really did rebuild! I said, maintaining my fervor up

to and in the driveway. I got out and went around the car,

intending to help him to his door, but he pulled away,

teetering toward his porch in the manner of a pendulum.

He did not look back, or speak again, before entering his

house and closing the door behind him.

CHAPTER 15 AARON REVEALED

At the end of Mondays class I posted a homework

assignment on the chalkboard when I was interrupted byan earsplitting shriek and spun around to see Aaron, arm

raised and fist clenched, threatening the girl in the seat

behind him.

Aaron! I barked. He spun back around.

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The girl was on her feet, holding her binder in front of her

face to defend herself.

I opened the classroom door and directed Aaron into thehallway.

What was that about? I demanded.

She grabbed my arm, he countered.

So you just decided that was enough reason to attack

her? Thats incredible! I said.

Its my sore arm, he said in his defense.

Let me see your arm, I said, with some newly found

compassion.

Aaron pushed up his right sleeve, revealing several dark

purple welts. I immediately envisioned Peedee hitting him

with his belt, just as Sam had hit Peedee. Without another

word I sent Aaron to the nurse and returned to my room

to wait out the five minutes until the dismissal bell. After

the class left I collected my materials, locked my door,

and went to the nurses office. Aaron had been released

by the nurse.

Did you see the welts on Aarons arm? I asked the

nurse.

Ive seen them before, she said. There are many school

record entries about Aarons bumps and bruises. I think

perhaps physical abuse she stopped short.Really? I said. You mean Peedee?Do you know Peedee? she snapped back.

Oh yes. We grew up together. We even lived together

when we were in high school. Its a long story, I said,

trying to allay what I had just said about growing up

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together. I was deeply sorry I had said it. I did not want to

make a connection between myself and Peedee.

Well, thats interesting, the nurse said immediately.Since you know Peedee so well you could ask him,

discreetly, of course, about Aaron. But dontmention

abuse, whatever you do. There are legal implications to be

avoided. But, I can tell you that Aaron is on the Principals

watch list. Dont tell Peedee. He showed up one day, with

Aaron, and asked us to enroll him. We enrolled him on

Peedees word that he is his legal guardian. Aarons

mother has never been here. Social services are supposed

to check into situations like this, but they didnt consider

it a priority, and they have a huge backlog and not

enough help. She walked around me and closed the

office door. She said, cryptically, You know, the more

students enrolled the more money the school gets from

the state. You should talk to the Principal. You could

provide some background.

Well, I used to know him, I said, but its been years,

and Im sure hes changed. Ill think about it. I sensed

the nurse would not fault me for not wanting to confront

Peedee about abusing Aaron. Anyway, I absolutely didnt

want to discuss Peedee with the principal. The less the

school knew about me and Peedee, the better. After all,

our relationship had no bearing on my work, and wouldserve no useful purpose. However, I still needed to renew

my friendship with Peedee, just for my security and peace

of mind.

The next day I kept Aaron after school. I squeezed into the

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student desk next to him. I spoke softly.

Did you know that Peedee and I were best friends when

we were your age?No, Aaron replied, looking both curious and suspicious.

We were closer than friends, I continued. We were like

brothers. After his father died he moved into my house

and lived there all through high school. Does he ever talk

about me, or his parents?

Aaron smiled, Peedee told me he didnt graduate from

high school.

Well, yes, technically thats true, I said, in a matter-of-

fact manner. He dropped out when he started his senior

year. Aaron let down his defense a bit.

He told me that his people were farmers, and they had a

horse and a mule. I still have the horse, he said with

feeling.

I remember the horse, I said. Peedee named it just

plain Horse, I laughed. Does Peedee still call it

Horse?

Yes, he does, Aaron giggled.

When we were kids, I said, we played in the woods and

dug out a hiding place in the middle of a big clump of

brush. It took a couple of days work and we would sit out

there and talk, and smoke cigarettes, for hours. I

thought a friendly confession might loosen him up.I found your hiding place, Aaron said. There are still

some old smashed up cigarette butts on the ground and

pieces of a comic book. They must have been there for

years! I thought they were from a tramp who slept out

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Peedee! I saw the smoke from the road. Engine trouble?

Diesel fuel, Peedee said.

Diesel fuel? I dont understand, I said.Not looking up, Peedee mumbled something. I tipped my

head and cupped my hand behind my ear indicating I

didnt hear what he said, and then he shouted, I poured

some diesel in the carburetor to clean out the cylinders.

An old mechanic trick! he said. You never was the

mechanic type, he added.

He was right; I wasnt much of a mechanic. Its good to

be out in the country again, I said, breathing clean air.

Its getting too crowded in Ypsilanti. Its too close to

Detroit.

Peedee grunted in his throat, cleared it, and spit on the

ground.

I got out of my car and walked up behind him.

Aaron is doing well in school, I said. Remember that

mail order art course I took when we were in high school?

I kept all the books. Aaron is really good at drawing. I

want to give him the books, if its okay with you.

I wasnt sure Peedee heard me. He took a step backwards,

his back stiffened and he stared off into space, like I

wasnt there. I didnt understand what was driving his

sudden enmity. I searched my memory and could not

remember anything I said to Peedee that would bring onmy banishment.

Are you sure Aaron is the person to give the books to?

Peedee finally said.

He has a lot of talent, I said. Ive watched him draw.

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I boxed up the ten art books and gave them to Aaron on

Monday, to take home. I had a phone message from

Peedee on Tuesday, saying that Aaron had somequestions about the books. Peedee wanted me to drop by

his house around noon on Saturday. Perhaps, I thought,

he wanted to patch up our differences. That would be fine

with me. I would be happy to put things right.

On Saturday I put some extra art supplies and an easel for

Aaron in my car, to take as a kind of peace offering. I felt

good

peedee and the potato field

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