parent to parent autumn magazine 2015

parentto ParentMAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015

make bullying historyculture change leader inspires to challenge bullying

being a support parentvikki pairaudeau talks to us about the benefits

of being a support parent

WelcomeKia ora and welcome to the autumn edition of the Parent to Parent magazine. I hope you and your family were able to enjoy some warm weather over the Easter break. Snow is falling in many parts of the country as I write this column so it looks like colder weather has now well and truly arrived!

Parent to Parent is involved with The Family Leadership Alliance Think Differently Project: Owning a Home of Your Own. This exciting initiative is led by Imagine Better, SAMS, and Parent to Parent examining first time home ownership opportunities for people on low incomes and people with disabilities. We are working with key industry experts to develop a resource for distribution to relevant stakeholders and politicians.

Parent to Parent are facilitating the ‘Good Stuff’ information sessions in the Waikato where families can learn more about using the ‘Enabling Good Lives’ approach for their family member. The Enabling Good Lives demonstration starts in the Waikato in July. ‘Good Stuff’ sessions have been well attended in Matamata and Taumarunui, with a session in Hamilton on 20th June at the Quality Inn Hotel. For more information on the “Good Stuff’ sessions please see the article in this issue.

We are currently recruiting for new roles that will provide the skills to help us reach more families and ensure our message is heard. At the same time our new structure will allow us to continue delivering the high quality core services we currently provide and keep up with ever increasing demand. This is an exciting development for Parent to Parent so watch this space for future announcements.

I’d like to introduce Glenn Lambert-Vickers, our new communications advisor. Glenn has a comprehensive work history with local and national government organisations, and has volunteered as a communications professional for several not-for-profit organisations. He will be managing our website and social media, providing communication guidance, and editing the Parent to Parent magazine. Welcome Glenn!

We will be holding our annual Awareness Week in August, with a number of programmes being held throughout New Zealand to increase Parent to Parent’s visibility in the community and fundraise. Volunteers are most welcome so if you would like to assist please contact your regional coordinator or National office.

I hope you enjoy this issue of Parent to Parent magazine. Ka kite ano.

Anne Wilkinson Chief Executive

Board Members: Helen Johnson (P), Martin Gallagher (VP), Susan Warrington, Peter Campbell, Andrea Lee, Jim Craig.Patron: Rob HamillLife Members: Heather Alford, Linda Davies, Sally Duncan, Ian Evans, Janice Gordon, Helen Henderson, Ray Murray, Gwen Sadler, Tariana Turia, Shirley Wass, Russell Wilkinson, Christine Zander, .

Parent to Parent New Zealand is a nationwide not-for-profit organisation that believes in

the value of families supporting families when

parenting a child with a disability or heath impairment.

Parent to Parent’s services are free and confidential, and

available nationwide through our network of 11 branches and our

national office.

In this issue

@ contact [email protected]

www read onlineparenttoparent.org.nz

facebook@parent2parentnz

free phone0508 236 236

instagram@parenttoparentnz

4 culture change leader challenges bullying

6 the value of being a support parent

8 good stuff waikato sessions prove popular

9 owning a home of your own

10 combined canoeing adventures a winner

12 life membership honour for dame tariana turia

13 events diary

Parent to Parent New Zealand Inc.PO Box 234 Hamilton 3240

Articles in this magazine by Glenn Lambert-Vickers.

The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of Parent to Parent New Zealand Inc.

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Get in touch with your nearest branch if you are interested in:

• Being connected with a Support Parent

• Information on a condition

• Attending a workshop

• Your children benefiting from Sibling Support

4 PARENT TO PARENT MAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015

Top Australian campaigner visits Parent to Parent Greater Canterbury for anti bullying campaign launch.

Australian culture change expert Brett Murray inspired 47 parents and children with an electric talk hosted by Parent to Parent Greater Canterbury on 26th March as part of Murray’s anti-bullying campaign launch in New Zealand.

Brett gave a series of talks in Christchurch to schools and community groups facilitated by Listen: Inspired Engagement’s Donna Higgs-Herrick. Donna is also a Support Parent for Parent to Parent and is the Canterbury Down Syndrome Association coordinator.

Brett has been an anti-bullying campaigner for 11 years and speaks to 40,000 young people, teachers, parents, and corporate audiences every year. He is a familiar face on Australian television and a four time Australian of the Year nominee. Brett was a victim of bullying himself growing up and uses his own experiences as inspiration for his talks. He has overcome the challenges of being bullied to compete at state level in five different sporting fields: surf life saving, rugby league, swimming, surfing, and was the 1998 New South Wales boxing champion. Brett is also a published author and television producer.

Bullying is a major issue in New Zealand and is a significant contributor to suicide rates. We have one of the highest rates of suicide in the world, especially amongst teens. Studies indicate that children who are bullied are up to nine times more likely to suffer suicidal thoughts and 300% more likely to exhibit depressive symptoms. “It’s important to let kids know they have an intrinsic self worth, says Brett, “They matter, they’re valuable and precious.”

Bullying can also have a negative impact on the perpetrator too, with an estimated 25% chance of bullies having a criminal record by the age of 30. Uncorrected bullying can carry into adulthood, with workplace bullying a major cause of lost productivity and morale for businesses.

Brett started his New Zealand campaign in Christchurch due to the extra pressure residents are experiencing. Bullying can go unnoticed due to the anxiety and stress resulting from rebuilding lives after the quakes. The stress placed on families and the community can result in dysfunction and

burnout. Kids are expected to cope with adult issues and living within fractured communities.

Brett mixes humour with his own experiences and

evidence based statistics to inspire audiences to look at bullying and find solutions to the problem. He also discussed the importance of fathers for both sons and daughters and ideas for nurturing this important relationship.

Laura Lightfoot, Parent to Parent coordinator Greater Canterbury region, said feedback from attendees was overwhelmingly positive. An attendee from the Ministry of Social Development said “I loved the talk with Brett Murray last night. He has such a gift for the world and I’m behind him every step of the way.”

CULTURE CHANGE LEADER

“It’s important to let kids know they have an instrinsic self worth.

They matter, they’re valuable and precious.”

If you would like to find out more about Brett Murray and his campaign to stop bullying, visit his website at www.brettmurray.com.au

Challenges Bullying

Right: Brett Murray outside the Rangi Ruru Girls School in Christchurch. Photo supplied

by Donna Higgs-Herrick

5PARENT TO PARENT MAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015Photo: Sheryl Davies


Parent to Parent connects parents with trained volunteer Support Parents who have a child or family member with the same or similar disability, health impairment, or are experiencing a similar issue. We talk to Vikki Pairaudeau about her experiences as a Support Parent and the benefits of being involved with the programme.

The Support Parent programme forms the core of Parent to Parent’s service. Over 600 trained volunteers, who are parents or full time caregivers of children who have a disability or health impairment, support other parents through the Parent to Parent network. Vikki has been involved with Parent to Parent for 15 years, first for support before training as a Support Parent 10 years ago.

After using Parent to Parent’s services herself, Vikki felt that becoming a Support Parent was a way to pay forward the help that she had received. “I like to help people, I saw the ad for Support Parent training and I knew the value of the service. The Support Parent service works as people can feel isolated, often not even the family understands. Talking to a Support Parent helps you realise you’re not alone.”

The Support Parent programme provides plenty of training and development for the volunteers. Vikki initially attended the Support Parent training weekend and has since followed up with other Parent to Parent courses, plus a healthy dose of life experience thrown in for good measure. Learning effective listening skills has been beneficial beyond the Support Parent setting, with Vikki using the techniques to enhance her ability to connect with people in everyday life. Vikki feels the self care module is very important

for parents to take on board because if you’re not looking after yourself you’re no use to anyone. Another unexpected bonus from the course was forging friendships with other Support Parents that have lasted to this day.

Vikki wasn’t sure what to expect before making her first Support Parent call but found the process of supporting another family highly rewarding. “You get a real buzz after calling; the feel good factor comes into play. It also helps you see just how far you’ve come on your own journey which you may not realise from your daily vantage point.” Vikki prepares for calling by making sure she is in a good headspace, turning off distractions like cellphones, and referring to the

Parent to Parent forms. “You have to be mindful of the other person’s situation” Vikki says, “and remember to focus on their journey not your own.”

Vikki has found calls usually occur at a specific time in a family’s journey, for example at the point of diagnosis, but every call is different. The subject of the call is very much dependent on what the parent wants to talk about. Usually one support phone call is all that is required. The coordinators are available to assist the Support Parent and Vikki says this is particularly useful if they feel the family require more help after the phone call. The coordinator will also follow up with the family.

If you are interested in supporting other parents please contact your regional co-ordinator for details of upcoming Support Parent training courses.

Supportthe value of being a

“You get a real buzz after calling; the feel good factor comes into play. It also helps you see just how far you’ve come

on your own journey which you may not realise from your daily vantage point.”

Parent

7PARENT TO PARENT MAGAZINE • AUTUMN 2015

Hi my name is Jessamy Green and I am currently completing a Masters in Health Science through Canterbury University.

I have worked in the Health and Disability Sector for the last 10 years; currently I work with people with intellectual disabilities. For the final part of my Masters I am undertaking research into the impact made on parents by having a trained Support Parent through Parent to Parent. I am hoping that by completing research in this area it will show the importance of having services like Parent to Parent that provide peer support and information. To complete this I am asking for any parents that have been matched with a trained Support Parent to go to https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/SupportParentSurvey and complete a brief 10-15 minute survey, all responses are completely anonymous and this research is being completed independent of Parent to Parent.

This link will be live until Sunday 21st June 2015, more information will be given by following the link or you can contact me on [email protected] if you have any questions. Thank you for your time.

Support Parent Vikki Pairaudeau has been helping families with

disabilities through the Support Parent connection for 10 years.


Good Stuff sessions prove popular as Waikato families learn more about Enabling Good Lives before the demonstration launch in the region in July.

Parent to Parent are facilitating The ‘Good Stuff’ information sessions in the Waikato in preparation for the Enabling Good Lives (EGL) approach coming to the region from July 2015. The sessions provide information for families on how an EGL approach can help their family member, with presentations from people who use different means of achieving their good lives.

Enabling Good Lives, a partnership between the disability community and government agencies, aims to transform the way disabled people and their families are supported in their everyday lives. Enabling Good Lives has been demonstrated in Christchurch, with a Waikato demonstration as the next phase of trialing the approach.

A ‘Good Stuff’ session was held in Matamata on Valentines Day, with 33 people in attendance. Kate Cosgriff, Waikato Enabling Good Lives Demonstration co-director, was on hand to provide an overview and answer participants’ questions. Kate has strong links with Hamilton and the wider Waikato region from her previous role as Regional Manager for CCS Disability Action Waikato/Bay of Plenty. Tegan Morris and mother Sue shared their experience with using individual funding options as part of building a good life. Russell Wilkinson introduced Rebecca Boulton who gave a presentation on how Michelle Wilkinson uses Choices in Community Living as a component of her good life.

The next session was held in Taumarunui on

18th March, with 17 participants attending on a beautiful late summer’s evening. Christine (Chris) Potts, Waikato Enabling Good Lives co-director, spoke with participants and provided feedback to questions raised by the audience. Janet Cave shared Ross Cave’s story. Nellie Harris, Service Coordinator for Disability Support Link (DSL) outlined the Choices in Community Living concept. This approach is now out of demonstration and being successfully used by many people in Auckland and Waikato. Choices in Community Living helps people have more choice and control over how they live, where they live, and with whom they live.

Debbie Davidson, Parent to Parent’s Family and Community Development Coordinator, is running

the ‘Good Stuff’ sessions. Debbie senses a real undercurrent of excitement as the new concepts, ideas and supports become available for New Zealanders who have a disability, and their family/whanau. Pilots

and demonstrations are coming to an end, with business as usual beginning to take place. Feedback and official reports indicate peoples lives are ‘good’, Debbie says, “As we grasp the new model disabled people and their families take back control and use choice, lives will not only be good but amazing.”

waikato sessions prove popular

Good Stuff

“As we grasp the new model disabled people and their families take back control and use choice,

lives will not only be good but amazing.”

The ‘Good Stuff’ session for Hamilton will be held on Saturday 20th June 10.30-2.30pm, at the Quality Inn Hotel.

To register for this session or for more information please contact Parent to Parent.


Project aims to find ways to increase first time home ownership options for people on low incomes and people with disabilities.

The Owning a Home of Your Own project is a think tank focused on exploring ideas to increase first time home ownership opportunities for people on low incomes and people with disabilities. The first think tank was held in Wellington on March 11th.

Home ownership rates in New Zealand are falling. In 1990 76% of New Zealanders owned their own home; by 2013 this rate had dropped to 63% 1 . Home ownership is a key component of individual, family, and community health and stability. The situation is particularly c h a l l e n g i n g for those on benefits, low incomes, and/or people living with disabilities. Low pay levels and unemployment experienced by people with disabilities can result in poor living conditions.

The project has been set up by The Family Leadership Alliance to explore ideas for assisting people into home ownership, particularly those on low incomes and people living with disabilities. The think tank will work with representatives from banking, insurance, and social housing agencies to generate possible solutions. The Family Leadership Alliance consists of Parent to Parent, Standards and Monitoring Services (SAMS), and Imagine Better, who all work with families in the disability sector. The lead team consists of Rebecca Walton with SAMS, Sue Robertson of Imagine Better, and Debbie Davidson & Anne

Wilkinson from Parent to Parent.

Spokesperson Rebecca Walton says the target group are first time home buyers who may have a long term dependency on a benefit. “The purpose of the project is to generate discussion, look at possible solutions, and develop partnerships across key stakeholders” Walton says, “We will also be gathering specific information to assist families who have a family member with a disability.”

Funding for the project is provided by the Ministry of Social Development through the

‘Think Differently’ campaign. Think Differently is

a social change campaign that

seeks to e n c o u r a g e and support a fundamental shift in attitudes and behav iou rs t o w a r d s

d i s a b l e d people. It works

across community and national level

to mobilise action and demonstrate the benefits of

inclusive communities. The campaign aims to change attitudes and beliefs through increased knowledge and understanding of disability.

The information generated at the think tanks will be collated into a resource that will be distributed to interested parties. The information will form future action plans and be used to identify other key stakeholders who may wish to be involved with the project as it develops. The project team will also provide feedback to relevant government ministers. 1 Source: The Home Affordability Challenge, NZIER 2014

Owning A HomeOF YOUR OWN


Shared canoeing outings prove a great way to make new friendships and to enjoy new experiences for children with disabilities and Vinnies Youth in Nelson

The second combined Parent to Parent Nelson and Vinnies Youth group canoeing trip was held in February 2015, building on from the successful inaugural outing in 2014.

Regional coordinator Jane Linn and parent Philippa Winch worked together to devise an outing for local Parent to Parent families and Vinnies Youth. Philippa is the Nelson Area Council Vinnies Youth Coordinator for the Society of St Vincent de Paul. The Vinnies are a group of 11-13 year olds working on community projects to make a positive difference for people in need.

Philippa had been teaching her group about the positive achievements people with disabilities can make and felt a shared activity could be a

great experience for the Vinnies and children with disabilities. As the mother of a child with special needs Philippa is also involved with Parent to Parent so approached Jane to investigate an outing for both groups. They worked with James Alker at Wilderness Canoe Journeys charitable trust to organise a canoeing adventure with funding provided by Pub Charity.

Wilderness Canoe Journeys supplied 3 person capacity canoes. Each canoe had a young person with a disability, their parent/caregiver, and a Vinnie youth. After mastering paddling, participants set off for a paddle around boats moored in the bay before heading up the mouth of the Matai River.

The outing provided the chance for friendships to be made amongst people who otherwise may not have met, with one parent reporting her daughter had really enjoyed spending time with

Combined Canoeingadventures a winner

her Vinnie. The children with disabilities gained from the support of their more able bodied peers and the Vinnies were able to understand some of the challenges faced by people with disabilities.

The inaugural outing was a success with positive feedback from all involved. Theresa, one of the Vinnies, felt it was a chance to share an adventure with people she might not otherwise meet. “I saw that people with disabilities are no different to us” Theresa said, “They just have a different way of learning.” Participants were eager to repeat the adventure so another outing was organised in February.

Jane would love to see more community partners getting involved in activities with children with disabilities. “I think this model provides a great starting point, it is a move to an inclusive model rather than an ‘us’ and ‘them’ view of different community groups.”

“Taking part in the activities has indeed set us on a shared journey” Philippa says, “One we hope will continue.”

A lot of fun had on the water. Photos supplied by Philipa Winch


Life membership for Dame Tariana Turia in recognition of her work and ongoing support of our organisation.

Life membership was bestowed on Dame Tariana Turia at the 2014 Parent to Parent annual general meeting in Hamilton. The honour specifically recognises the many years of support Mrs Turia has given our organisation, as well as her significant contribution to whanau and families who have children with disabilities.

Mrs Turia retired from Parliament in September after serving as Minister of Disability Issues and Associate Minister of Health. Under her leadership the Ministry of Health’s new model initiatives began and Mrs Turia commissioned the Enabling Good Lives Report. As Minister, she took personal responsibility to ensure these transformations were actioned. This critical work is now well underway with two major demonstrations, where government agencies are working together in partnership with disabled people and their whanau who are leading this work.

Helen Johnson, Parent to Parent National President, says in her role as Minister Mrs Turia has always been personally approachable and supportive of our organisation. “She has always shown a true understanding of the issues faced by people with disabilities and their whanau. It is with great pleasure that the Parent to Parent National Board bestows life membership upon Dame Tariana.”

honour for dame tariana turia

Life Membership

Tariana Turia engaged in conversation at the Parent

To Parent National Office Opening in 2014.

From left to right: Parent to Parent CE Anne Wilkinson, Dame Tariana Turia and Parent To Parent National

President Helen Johnson


MaryAnn and her committee love to organise events just for families. One of the favourites is family bowling days at the SuperBowl Invercargill.

THE GOOD STUFFAn information session for Waikato families which shares success stories of families using Enabling Good Lives approaches to support their family member. 20 Jun • Quality Inn Hotel, Hamilton

RENEWA short workshop set in a tranquil venue that explores natural support networks, grief, family resilience and managing stress. Meet other parents in your area.

6 Jun • The Landing Service Building, Timaru12 Jun • Venue to be confirmed, Waikato

SIBSHOP / SIBCAMPA day or weekend camp for kids aged 8-18 who have a brother or sister with a disability. 30 May • Maungaraki Community Centre, WellingtonSept • Auckland, details to be confirmedOct • Southland, details to be confirmed

SECOND GENERATIONAdult siblings, parents and whanau of disabled and health impaired people come together to build a vision for the future good life of their family member.

SUPPORT PARENT TRAININGThe course covers communication skills, grief issues and provides opportunities for personal awareness where parents can consider their ability to support others. 16 - 17 May • Parent to Parent branch WellingtonDate and venue to be confirmed • Hawkes Bay

TO FIND OUT MORE OR TO REGISTER FOR THESE EVENTS AND OTHERS:WWW.PARENTTOPARENT.ORG.NZ • [email protected] • 0508 236 236

events diarysee what is happening in your region all parent to parent events are free

15 - 17 May • Airport Gateway Motor Lodge, Christchurch10 - 12 July • Sudima Hotel, Auckland

Renew is a day just for parents, where you can learn some new ideas, meet new people, and leave feeling refreshed and positive.Renew is a short workshop set in tranquil venue that explores growing natural support networks, understanding grief, family resilience and managing stress. Meet other parents in your area and enjoy a day out from the pressures of life. Renew is provided at no cost, and a delicious lunch is provided.UPCOMING COURSES19 Feb Hollard Gardens, Kaponga, Taranaki11 March Bushmere Estate, Gisborne18 April A Place to Be, Napier

Visit www.parenttoparent.org.nz or phone 0508 236 236 to register for any of these events.

New ZealandPermit No. 164497

if undeliverable return to po box 234 hamilton 3240

Second Generation brings together adult siblings, parents and whanau of disabled and health impaired people, to work together to build a vision for the future good life of their disabled family member. Many siblings really want to take an active part in their brother or sister’s life, so the workshop promotes effective sharing of ideas between the family members, and the creation of an all-inclusive family plan for their family members future.

15 - 17 MAY The Airport Gateway Motor Lodge, Christchurch

10 - 12 JULYSudima Hotel, Auckland

to find out more contact parent to parent

parent to parent autumn magazine 2015

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