ordinary world 6th draft
TRANSCRIPT
<Title>
an original screenplay by
<your name here>
<your Name here><your address><city, state, zip><phone><email>
Ordinary World (Working Title)
"YOU SAY HELLO, I SAY GOODBYE"
WRITTEN BY EDWARD GROVES
"YOU SAY HELLO, I SAY GOODBYE"
(6th Draft)
(6th Draft)ORDINARY WORLD (WORKING TITLE)
"YOU SAY HELLO, I SAY GOODBYE"
TEASER
FADE IN:
INT. NAN'S HOUSE - LEE'S & GARY'S BEDROOM MORNING
The bedroom has an old walk-in wardrobe. There is a windowopposite the bedroom door. The door is on the back wallwhere a double bed also resides. There are mirrors on thewardrobe and a TV in the opposite corner of the room. Binbags full of clothes take up the remaining corner.
Gary, 21, is getting ready for work. He is in trainersthat look old, jeans and is now choosing a t-shirt. He islooking for the most untidy t-shirt he can find. He looksthrough a bundle of black barman t-shirts. Gary comes acrossa baggy pink t-shirt.
GARYmmm… Lee's not gonna miss that.
Gary puts on the baggy t-shirt.
EXT. OUTSIDE - NAN'S HOUSE MORNING
A nice suburban street called Kings Road. It is a quietresidential road with large trees spaced along the pavement.The houses are semi-detached with front gardens big enoughto park cars in. A white Transit pulls up outside NAN'Shouse.
INT. NAN'S HOUSE - LEES BEDROOM MORNING
Gary looks out of the window, he is clearly a bit anxious.He sees MICHAEL'S, 36, van pulling up, and takes off outof the bedroom.
2.
INT. NAN'S HOUSE - HALLWAY - MORNING
Gary makes down the stairs and out of the front door,closing it behind him quietly.
INT. MICHAEL'S VAN MORNING.
Michael lights up a fag. Gary enters the van.
GARYAlright Mike.
MICHAELHowzit.
EXT. NAN'S HOUSE MORNING
Van pulls away 20 meters up the road and then stops. Garyexits the van and runs back to the house.
INT. NAN'S HOUSE HALLWAY - MORNING
Gary rushes into the house, up into the bedroom.
INT. NAN'S HOUSE GARY AND LEE'S BEDROOM - MORNING.
Gary enters, sees the lunch bag he left behind, grabs it.He goes to leave and catches a glimpse of himself in themirror.
GARY(Tut).
Gary strips his t-shirt off and grabs a random black t-shirt from the pile. Gary puts it on as he rushes out ofthe bedroom.
INT. NAN'S HOUSE - MORNING
Gary runs and jumps half of the stairway. Gary leaves thehouse slamming the front door behind him without a thought.
INT. MICHAEL'S VAN - MORNING
Gary enters with bag, he puts bag in the foot well. Hesits up to reveal, unaware, that his t-shirt says 'I'mwith stupid' with an arrow pointing in Michael's direction.
GARYSorry about that.
MICHAELThat's alright.
FADE OUT.
3.
END OF TEASERACT ONE
FADE IN:
INT. WENDY'S BEDROOM MORNING
Lee, 21, is asleep in bed. There is a four year old girlasleep next to him. Lee turns over to face the girl andputs his arms over the child and strokes her hair Confusedhe opens his eyes and is extremely shocked to see a child.
LEE(Startled).
Fucking hell. Umm.
Lee is now looking around the room for an answer as to howhe has woken up there. Without awakening the child, hegets up and starts to put his clothes on that have beenleft crumpled on the floor.
Lee doesn't know what happened last night. The door opens.WENDY, 26, enters. Lee is terrified.
INT. BATHROOM - MORNING/AFTERNOON
Michael is working on the toilet cistern whilst Garywatches. Gary decides to start organising the tools in thetoolbox.
MICHAELI need the big pump they have agreen handle.
GARYOk.
Gary immediately messes up the tidy toolbox, to find thepump pliers ASAP.
EXT. THE MARE OF THE NIGHT PUB - AFTERNOON
Lee sits with EMMA, 21, at a pub bench. Lee is in his blackt-shirt pub attire. Emma is dressed casually in jeans anda hoody.
LEEBut not only that… I wake up inher bedroom, fine, standard. That'snormal.
Waking up next to a little girl is not fine. She said thelittle girl had the flu. What is she doing in the fuckingbed then!?
4.
EMMAYou can't keep cheating on Lorna.You have to break up with her ifit's not right.
LEEI didn't cheat, no. I just stayedover, but it wasn't the full ticket.
(Pause).
LEE (CONT'D)I think she might know Lorna aswell, they're friends on Facebook.So I invited her to my leaving do,didn't want it to seem suspicious.And I've been texting her today,don't ask why. She isn't textingme back.
EMMAWell maybe she found out who you'reactually supposed to be with.
LEEOh yeah yeah yeah, make me paranoid.It's not actually a big deal. It'sonly a big deal if you make it abig deal. Oh, but saying that, shewas telling me about her ex-boyfriend in prison, and when hegets out and finds out I've beenbonding with his child he's goingto lose his rag. I'm going to losemy nuts…
EMMAOh shut up. You weren't bondingwith the little one.
(Beat).
EMMA (CONT'D)Were you?
LEENo. Have you seen the Lost Boys?
EMMAThe film?
(Tut).
Yes, unfortunately. Go on.
5.
LEEWendy told me how he was startingto rap, but would like rap reallyaggressively towards her. Then itgot a bit out of hand and he robbedsomeone, so he could rap about it.
EMMAWhat's his name?
LEEM.O.D.
EMMAMinistry of Defence? Oh my God.Ok, so what's his real name?
LEEI don't know, Wendy said but I wasplaying Xbox.
EMMAWhat's that got to do with thefilm?
LEEUmm can't remember, she saidsomething about… oh I know,apparently he looks like one ofthe Frog brothers.
EMMAWhy are you telling me that? Andwhich brother? 'Cos one's ugly andone's alright.
LEEFrog brothers. They're both uglysurely. Frog brothers! You're gay!Why are you looking at blokes?
(Beat).
EMMAI can still see what an attractiveguy looks like. So the boyfriendis out of the picture for now?Unless he saves up his prison pocketmoney and gets out on bail!
LEEShut up! He can't. They won't lethim. He has to use someone else'smoney, doesn't he?
(MORE)
6.
LEE (CONT'D)Anyway all his mates are there. Heprobably doesn't mind it.
EMMAYou really are a twit.
INT. MICHAEL'S VAN AFTERNOON
Michael is opening his wallet, he gives Gary £60. Garydoesn't count it. He puts it straight in his pocket.
GARYCheers. Thanks for the lift home.
MICHAELCheers. Give me a call tomorrowabout it.
GARYWell we are going to be at TheMare tonight. So I'll probably seeyou in there. I won't be working.It's Lees' leaving do.
MICHAELAlright, I might see you in therethen for a pint or two.
GARYAlright, thanks Mike.
MICHAELCheers.
GARYCheers.
Gary leaves the van.
MICHAELDo you want your bag?
GARYOh yeah.
Gary reaches back into the van and takes his bag. Garyexits the van.
GARY (CONT'D)Cheers.
MICHAELCheers.
7.
EXT. OUTSIDE NANS HOUSE AFTERNOON
Michael drives away. Gary walks towards Nan's house.
INT. WENDY'S HOUSE BEDROOM AFTERNOON
Wendy is sitting in front of a mirrorapplying her makeup; inside herbag she finds a passport. Wendyopens it to reveal that it belongsto Lee.
INT. NAN'S HOUSE HALLWAY - AFTERNOON
Lee and Gary enter.
LEEHi Nan!
NAN (O.S.)Hello. Is that Lee or Gary?
LEEIt's both of us.
INT. NAN'S HOUSE - STAIRWAY - AFTERNOON
Lee and Gary make their way to the bedroom.
GARYHello Pam.
NAN (O.S.)If you're staying in my house, youhave to call me Nan.
LEEHe's an old school mate, not anadopted Grandson.
NANOoh does that mean I can chargerent then?
GARYHello Nan. You alright?
NAN(O.S.)Nope, don't ask me that. I'm neveralright.
GARYOh yeah. I've got to remember thatone haven't I?
8.
NANYes you do.
Lee and Gary both laugh. Nan also has a little giggle.
INT. LEE'S BEDROOM AFTERNOON
Lee is looking around the room. Gary is nestled on thebed.
GARYSo you got everything you needpacked?
LEETut, have you seen my passport?
GARYNo.
LEEI had it last night and now I can'tfind it. It's because all yourshit's everywhere.
GARYExcuse me? You're the one who saidI'd have my own room!
LEEI got you a job in the pub.
GARYHave you checked your bag?
LEEYeah, it's not in there and I'vechecked the whole room.
GARYHave you asked your Nan?
LEENo, She doesn't know.
Lee points to bundle of bin bags.
GARYWhat's in there?
LEEMy travelling stuff.
GARYWhat?
9.
LEEMy travelling stuff.
GARYI'm sorry?
LEEYeah my travelling stuff? What?
GARYWhat? You can't go around withthose slung over your shoulder.Racoons will be all over you likea rash with a leper.
LEEWhat? Rashes don't have lepers.
GARYBut lepers don't have rashes.
LEEThen… hold on… what are you talkingabout now?
GARYNot sure… what were we- oh yeahyour bag.
Gary begins to help Lee look for his passport.
LEEAnd lepers can have rashes.
GARYYeah, well, if they got eczema orsomething, yeah.
Lee throws Gary a look.
GARY (CONT'D)So how's Lorna is she coming?
LEEYeah but I invited that girl fromlast night.
GARYWhich one, if it's the little one,that's out of order.
LEELittle one? /Shit, My passportmust be at that birds!
10.
GARY/All I can say is that I hope shekeeps a hoody tied around her waistcos if you start looking- Oh! Youhave to go back round there.
LEEAh man.
GARYYou're not going to get throughcustoms with those bags anyway soyou don't even need your passport.You sure you don't want to get aproper suitcase or back pack? Mate.
Gary pulls a suitcase from under the bed, and tosses itover to Lee.
GARY (CONT'D)Pack it in here.
The doorbell rings. Gary leaves the room to answer thedoor.
GARY(O.S.) (CONT'D)Hey. Not working today?
INT. NANS HOUSE HALLWAY AFTERNOON
Emma enters the hallway from outside.
EMMANa, I'm on nights next week though,God this weeks gone so quicklyhasn't it. Seems like yesterday wewere at Daves party.
NANWho's that then?
EMMAHi Nan, it's Emma.
NANOoh hello Emma, where have youbeen, have you been at working atthe ambulance today?
EMMANa, I'm on nights this week though.
GARYQuick, get up the stairs quickly,quickly.
11.
Emma and Gary make a quick run up the stairs to the bedroom.Nan, 78, enters.
NANOop.
(Beat).
NAN (CONT'D)Gone.
INT. NANS HOUSE - BEDROOM - AFTERNOON
Emma and Gary enter. Lee is texting Wendy on his phone.
LEEYou alright Emma, I thought youwere working?
EMMANah, got night shifts next weekthough, can't believe how fastthis week has gone. Daves' partyseems like yesterday.
LEEYeah my head actually still hurtsfrom that.
EMMAYou were all getting a bit carriedaway there though.
LEEYeah including your ex bird. Didyou see how she dropped me on myhead at that party?
EMMAThat was your mother.
LEEThat was your girlfriend goinground showing off her tattoo, doingtombstones on everybody! What washer name?
EMMAFreya
LEEThat's it 15 stone Freya. Had herown weigher. Boys/ on the streetcalled her a pussy slayer
12.
EMMAOi. That's a horrible thing tosay. It was more like 13 stone.Actually she was a nice catholicgirl.
GARYWho happened to sip your holy cup.Sorry.
Lee laughs, Emma is not impressed.
EMMAOh you wish, don't be so disgusting.So how did it go with Michael, ishe your proper boss now?
GARYDo you know what? I think I mightactually be on to a winner here.When I spoke to him about it lastnight, I told him I don't thinkI'll be very good at that kind ofjob. And he said, no don't worry,I will train you. I will make youlearn.
Lee impersonates Arnold Schwarzenegger.
LEEYes boet. I will turn you intosoldier'.
Lee laughs.
LEE (CONT'D)So you do want to do it or youdon't?
GARYWell he gave me sixty quid forhalf day. So that's one hundredand twenty a day, that's wicked!!
EMMALook at you, little rich boy.
Gary begins to sing in his own improvised melody.
GARYI am. Gonna be rich. Gonna be rich,gonna be rich.
13.
LEEHe. Is. Gonna be rich. Gonna berich.
It is funny how you got an F in Design Technology and nowyou're doing this though.
GARYAlright. Shut up. My brother toldme it was a good idea, so I'm goingto go for it. Why not?
EMMASo you still going to do the acting?
GARYActing doesn't pay. This does. I.Am. Gonna be rich. I'm gonna berich, I'm gonna be rich, yeah gonnabe rich.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT ONE.
ACT TWO
FADE IN:
INT. NIGHT OF THE MARE PUB - AFTERNOON.
Lee, Gary and Emma are at the bar. It is a bit of a gastropub. It's fairly clean and well looked after with a fewregulars. It has a small eating area although not oftenoverly busy, except maybe on special occasions.
The bar itself is set up in an 'L' shape. There is a frontdoor and a back door. Its décor is a dark oak type finish,with laminate floor, giving it a more contemporary feel.
LEESo Garys' mum turns around andsays, I've got his email address,and I've sent him a message.
EMMAReally?
GARYShe's a big fan, got all his films.
LEEAnd apparently, he has only goneand sent one back saying. What wasit?
14.
GARY
CON-
LEECongratulations to your son, onhis starring role
EMMAStarring role?
GARYI know.
EMMAIs she talking about the radioplay thing?
LEEYes!
EMMAAww but Gary's mum loves him somuch, she's proud of you Gary that'sall.
LEEYeah but to believe he's writtenback to her? Come on!
EMMAWell you never know. Or he mightbe telling someone what to put.
LEEWhat? Oh yeah that's what he does,he sits, in his rocking chair, noscratch that, his rocking horse.Talking into his Dictaphone in alanguage only he and his ghostwriter, who happens to be his 8year old third cousin, what hewants translated into his dailyemail replies. Yeah, and on top ofthat he poaches his eggs in a pond…that happens to be his bathtub.
GARYWell that's just silly.
LEEYour mum falling in love with amovie star is silly.
15.
EMMAIt could happen.
Lee looks at Emma. Gary looks at Emma with a look thatsays it could be possible.
GARYLook, I don't care. She has goneto America to find him, and Isupport her all the way.
TOM, 38. The manager of the pub walks over.
TOMHello lads. Hope you're not gettingpissed, you're both on tonight.
Tom turns to Emma.
TOM (CONT'D)How are you sweetheart?
EMMAYou alright Tom?
TOMGood ta. So lads, hope you're notpestering this little Sheila areya?
EMMANo, they're alright.
LEEUmm, Tom I thought I swapped myshift with Charlotte? You know, Iam leaving tonight
TOMSo?
GARYYeah, I did too actually
TOMWhat? With Charlotte? She might bea big girl but she can only takeone shift boys.
Tom laughs.
TOM (CONT'D)So I'm afraid someone's messed upthere. Which means you're workingshit for brains.
16.
LEEWho?
TOMYou. Whoever.
INT./EXT. MARE OF THE NIGHT PUB LATE AFTERNOON
Series of shots.
A)Pub beginning to get busy. Peoplearriving are very aware Lee isgoing away. Friends and family arearriving.
B)Gary is working behind the bar.
C)You see Lee under a tree tellingDAVE (off screen) to get down. Youthen see a stream of urine go intohis drink while he's calling outto someone else.
D)You see Gary catching someone tryingto drink from the tap. Friends arepouring sauce and drink all overLee. You see Lee being picked upand offered up to the river whichruns next to the beer garden. STEVE,40, Lees Father, has to run in andaggressively stop them.
Gary and Steve are talking over the bar.
Michael enters.
GARYAlright Mike? Guinness?
MICHAELYep!
Gary starts to pour a pint of Guinness. He leaves the glassfilled halfway, so that it may settle.
GARYYou alright there Stevo?
17.
STEVEYeah, no I'm alright for now cheersGazza. I think you have made avery wise decision, you earn goodmoney in that trade and from whatI know, and I know I'm Lee's dador whatever, but we've known eachother a long time now and I thinkyou really have hit gold here.
GARYYeah thanks.
STEVEA lot of people would love to havethe opportunity you got. So keepat it son, we got faith in you, Ijust hope Lee doesn't end up asfood for those aboriginals(Mispronounced) out there.
MICHAELGary, have you forgotten my drink?
GARYShit. Ship. Sugar. Sorry Michael.
Gary finishes pouring Michaels drink. Gary hands the drinkto Michael.
GARY (CONT'D)You ok though yeah?
MICHAELYeah, not too shabby.
INT. MARE OF THE NIGHT PUB - EVENING
Emma is talking to Lee. Gary is talking to LORNA, 18, inthe background.
Lee receives a text. Lee reads the text.
LEERight, she's got the passport.
EMMAWho?
LEEWendy, that was her texting to sayshe can't think of anything worsethan coming to my leaving do butshe does have my passport and that
(MORE)
18.
LEE (CONT'D)I can pick it up if it means I'llbe further away from her, wellthat's not bad news is it, do youthink I could get Lorna to give mea lift there?
EMMAUmm, she might have a slight problemwith that. Lorna is lovely… I don'tsee why you're going off her.
LEEI don't know? I. don't. know. Idon't know. Complacency? It's justone of those things, I'm not gettingwhat I need, you know, as a man.No affection whatsoever. Oh I don'tknow, she used to be fun, now it'sjust mmm… watch films, and actuallywatch them.
LEE (CONT'D)All I want is a kiss and a cuddleand that once in a while, but shedoesn't want to mess up her hairor smudge her lipstick. Ah man, Ijust want to shag.
(Beat).
LEE (CONT'D)Now. Now! Now!
INT. MARE OF THE NIGHT PUB - EVENING
Gary and Lorna are talking. Lorna has Gary's fingers in asubmission hold.
GARYOw! Ow! Ow!
Lorna lets go.
GARY (CONT'D)And you do that to him?
LORNAYeah if he deserves it.
GARYYou can't do that!
(MORE)
19.
GARY (CONT'D)You can't lead people on and thentwist their fingers when they thinkmeats fresh, the fruits ripe. Andyou have a boyfriend.
LORNAIt's not leading them on; theyknow I'm too good for them.
GARYHa! Sorry.
EXT. MARE OF THE NIGHT PUB SMOKING AREA - EVENING
Lee and Emma are talking.
LEESo you weren't working today oryou were?
EMMANa, but I got nights next week,but anyway I was taking a calltoday, and a guy phoned up, sayinghe needed an ambulance and Oh itwas awful Lala, he was so calm onthe phone, he was just like 'yeahI've been stabbed, and I don'tknow where I am' so I asked him,y'know, 'ok where have you beenstabbed, is there anybody withyou?' And he was just like 'oh noI'm on my own, I've just got offthe bus cos they stabbed me' 'ok,and where did they stab you?' 'inmy head and in my neck'. And I wasjust like shit. This guy needshelp, so I had to get him to finda road name otherwise how am Igonna get an ambulance to him.
Lee's thoughts are wondering elsewhere.
LEEWas he alright?
EMMAHe died when he got to hospital.But on the other hand, I helped awoman give birth over the phone,how good am I? Lee?
LEEYeah?
20.
EMMAYou want that lift? I parked mycar outside?
LEEYes please, aren't you pissed?
EMMANa, I got my car., and I'd rathernot. I'm on nights next week.
LEEYeah alright come on then.
Lee and Emma gets up to leave.
EXT. NIGHT OF THE MARE PUB EVENING
Gary and Michael are alone talking. Michael is intoxicatedwith alcohol. Gary has gone round the bar to serve Michaela drink.
GARYDon't worry about that one.
MICHAELCheers.
(Beat).
MICHAEL (CONT'D)You did well today, I have had 3young guys before you already, andthey just didn't cut it. The firstone was late and on his phone allthe time. One of them didn't wantto clear up the floor with a mop,so I said 'ok, I'll do it, you gohome, call you tomorrow, didn'tcall him'. But you. I got a goodfeeling about you. We're going tobe fucking millionaires! Me andyou, to the end! I'll tell younow. You'll hate me, cos I'm aprick to work with. But I promiseyou, if you stick with me, you…will… be fine. I'm gonna be hardon you though, I promise you that.
GARYI know, I think that's what I reallyneed, some discipline. And for£120 a day!
21.
MICHAELWhat?
GARYOh. Nothing.
MICHAELWhen I was in Cape. This fuckingguy come up to me, asking for money.He pulled out a gun, pointed atme. He wanted money. So, I tookthat fucking gun out of his handand kicked his legs right out fromunderneath him. He was laying onthe floor like a prick. So I saidto him, 'Believe in god'
Michael has his fingers pointed like a gun.
MICHAEL (CONT'D)Tup tup.
Gestures of shooting.
GARYYeah yeah wicked.
Gary walks away.
GARY (CONT'D)Jesus.
(Under breath).
EXT. WENDY'S FLAT EVENING
A block of flats. Lee presses the buzzer to Wendy's flat.
WENDY(OS)Hello?
LEEWendy? It's Lee.
WENDYIt's under the plant pot.
LEETha/nks
Wendy hangs up. Lee finds his passport under the plant potnext to the main door. He opens it to find the laminatedpage has been defaced with swear words.
22.
LEE (CONT'D)Oh for fucks sake, is this a matureway of teaching a kid how to use afucking legal document! Thanks alot sugar mama! And you weren'teven sweet. You were fucking bitter!And I hope your ex wants you back!And I hope this passport can stillbe used!
Lee shows the page to Emma, who is waiting.
LEE (CONT'D)Great!
INT. THE MARE OF THE NIGHT PUB EVENING
Lee, Emma, Steve and Nan sit around table.
STEVEWhat I can't work out is why allthese phones are getting better,but we still talk on them, whenare they going to bring out thosevirtual things like that Sandrabullock bird has in demolitionman.
EMMAThere is Steve.
STEVEWell no, I don't think so you seecos. Think about it, you got thosewebcam things on the 'puter. Whydon't they mix a bit of thattechnology with Vodafone orwhatever. Then, by the way if thisgets out, you know who said itfirst. Then, mix them together.What you got?
EMMASkype.
(Beat).
LEEA Vodafone webcam.
EMMAThose things already exist. At noextra cost?!
23.
Obviously, Steve isn't really listening to Emma. Gary andLee have but are enjoying Emma's frustration in beingignored.
STEVEYeah? Have you lot eaten yet, cosI could do with ordering some grub.
EMMAI had some food before I came out.
LEE
WELL WE WERE GONNA HEAD OFF SOON, JUST WAITING FOR-
SAM, 42, Lee's mother, enters.
LEE
MUM!
SAM
'ELLO MY DARLING, HOW ARE-
(Sam sees Steve).
SAMWhat's he doing here?
LEEIt's alright Mum. Dad has come tosee me off.
SAMYou didn't tell me, why didn'tanyone tell me? How could you Emma?
EMMA
SORRY SAM I DIDN'T-
LEEDon't be silly Mum. We're not goingto have any trouble tonight.
SAMTrouble tonight? Ha. How couldthis happen to me again. Oh I'mnot prepared for this.
LEEMum calm down.
Lee puts arm around Sam.
24.
SAMDon't touch me, your half him, youare, you can't fool me with yourtrickery. What's he been saying toyou? If it doesn't sound Englishdon't listen.
LEEHe hasn't said anything out of theordinary. Dad, tell her.
STEVE
HONESTLY SAM, IF I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE A PROBLEM-
SAMStop. Stop right there you son ofa nun.
NAN(Nan is Shocked).
WELL I NEVER…
STEVEOk. Alright. My time's up. I'mgetting my coat, I'm leaving.
SAMYour time was up when you left me!
EMMA/LEESam!/Mum!
STEVEI'm vacating the premises. I'mmoving my lardy bum from this mardyold. Oh bugger!
SAMWhat does that actually mean? Yousee! He's a witch.
LEESorry dad.
STEVEIt's alright son.
Steve exits.
SAMGandalf! Gandalf!
25.
EMMAYou alright Sam?
Sam immediately gaining composure.
SAMYes fine. You know all were bornmad, some remain so. So, you know.Shame about Steve really. He wasfine before he went. Well you know.
Emma is unsure, but reassuring to Sam.
EMMAYes, I hope he gets better soon.
SAMYes me too, I'm really finding ithard to come up with reasons tohate him nowadays. Are you alrightMeredith?
NANNo I'm not alright. Dr Danfordneeds to have another look at mybrain. Here, how is your vegetablepatch looking?
SAMOh scrawny as ever, the courgettesare looking a bit limp, but I tellyou what. You know we had thatbarbeque the other day?
NANOh yes?
SAMWell. The boys had a few friendsover, being all silly with thatvodka they all like. I was tellingthem how those mini beasts hadbeen at my pumpkin leaves. Nextthing, they were putting chargrilledslugs on my plate. Along with theflowers from my pumpkin plants!
NANOh lordy!
SAMYeah. Basted in marinade andeverything. Thing was I said toLee, 'what's this?'
(MORE)
26.
SAM (CONT'D)and he said 'just eat it mum'. SoI did. I tried it and the flower.You never would have guessed tastejust like pumpkin, but it was a/flower.
NAN/flower. Mmm, but what about theslug?
SAMLovely, organic, but one is probablyenough. Not for them though, theyhad a portion like a bowl of chips.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT TWO
ACT III
CUT TO:
INT. MARE OF THE NIGHT PUB - NIGHT
Gary and Emma. The pub is now in its final closing stages.Drinks are off and the pub is nearly empty.
GARYThen of course when it startedgrowing back it was like Velcro.Yeah like seriously. I had a bitof a wedgy so I tried pulling myboxers down a bit and it was like.
Gary makes a ripping/tearing sound.
EMMAThat is sick, I never want to hearthat again, or anything like it!
GARYWell it's just normal for any guyreally so if that's. Well. Oh getout. You are joking? You are joking?
EMMAYou're such a dick!
Emma is smiling though.
GARYI'm sorry about. Have you spokento?
27.
EMMAFreya.
GARYFreya, Freya 15 stone Frey- No Iwon't.
EMMALee reckons I shouldn't try andcontact her. I want to just. Youknow when something just stops allof a sudden and you're like. Oh.You. I. Gary?
Lee approaches Gary and Emma.
LEEWhite spirit.
EMMAWhat?
LEEWhite spirit'll get the pen off mypassport.
GARYDon't think there's any here mate.
LEEVodka!
Lee makes his way behind the bar. He grabs a bottle ofvodka and soaks some blue tissue roll. Lee wipes at thepassport and it seems to clean the ink off.
LEE (CONT'D)Fucking yes!
EMMASee I knew you could sort it.
GARYSo Lorna's giving you a lift toGatwick yeah? Sexy times!
Lee gives Emma a hug.
LEEUsing a cheesy generic Americanaccent, not particularly believably.
Mmm hmm! In the car baby. I'm gonna be the nitro. Superhot!
28.
EMMAAww we're going to miss you outthere. What times the flight?
LEETwo hours.
GARY/EMMATwo hours?!
GARYFucking go! Why are you still here?You're going to miss it! Go! Fuckoff!
Gary and Lee have a short embrace and then Lee exits.
LEE (O/S)In a bad Australian accent.
LEE (CONT'D)See ya later crocodiles'.
Gary looks over to Emma.
GARYTo Emma.
It is alligator? Isn't it?
EXT. NANS HOUSE NIGHT
IT IS Dark. A light can be seen in Gary'sbedroom inside Nan's house.
INT. NANS HOUSE GARY AND LEES BEDROOM - NIGHT
Gary is in bed. He is not yet asleep. He receives a textmessage on his phone. After reading the text, Gary slipsout of bed. Gary re dresses himself in his former clothingthat has been folded over the chair.
INT. NANS HOUSE NANS HALLWAY NIGHT
Gary opens the front door. Lorna waits.
LORNAHey.
GARYHey, Lorna, umm, what? You ok?Come in come in.
29.
LORNAI was going to go home but I thoughtI'd stop by with some vino.
Lorna unveils a bottle of red wine and enters the house.
INT. NANS HOUSE GARY AND LEES BEDROOM NIGHT
Gar and Lorna sit in the bedroom. Lorna is on the bed.Gary has a chair facing her.
The bottle of wine lays empty on the floor. There are blackplastic bags splayed across the floor also. They both holda near glass of wine each.
GARYYeah so you know. Not what I thoughtI would be doing, but for £120 aday. How did you meet Lee?
LORNAWell, he was working in the puband I used to go there with mysister.
GARYBefore I moved back to Kingston?
LORNAYeah. And I used to drink theresometimes and I thought he wascute. So my sister asked him forhis number.
GARYAnd it was just like that.
LORNAAnd now we been together for twoweeks.
GARYGood. That's good.
Gary drinks what's left in his glass. Lorna followspromptly. Gary notices that the bottle is empty.
LORNAI brought another one.
Lorna retrieves another bottle from her bag.
GARYOh God.
30.
INT. NANS HOUSE GARY AND LEES BEDROOM NIGHT
The second bottle of wine has now been finished. Lorna isstill on the bed, but now in a more relaxed position.Perhaps lying on her side. Gary is now sitting on the edgeof the bed.
GARYSo did Lee check in ok?
LORNAYeah I think so. The battery's runout on his phone.
GARYDid it really?
Gary looks down beside the bed, noticing a phone charger.
GARY (CONT'D)He's left his charger here. He'sforgotten something again!
LORNAI didn't actually go into theairport with him. I couldn't leavethe car without paying for parking.
GARYWell Lorna, I think I better go tobed. I got work at the pub tomorrowat Four.
LORNAIs it ok if I stay over?
GARYUmm. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Yeahdefinitely. Why not.
LORNAThank you.
GARYYou sleep here if you like. I'mgoing to set up the sofa beddownstairs.
LORNADon't be silly.
GARYUnless you want to sleep on thesofa bed? I don't mind. Up to you,you're the guest.
31.
LORNAJust sleep in this bed with me, Idon't mind, honestly. We can justtalk.
GARY
OK. MMM. I DON'T THINK IT'LL-
LORNAGary, shut up. Sleep in here, yourbeing silly.
GARYMmm, how long did you say you andLee have been? Oh don't worry.Shut up Gary, idiot!
LORNAGary! Stop it!
GARYThere's pj's in the drawer. I'mgoing to go and brush my teeth.
Gary exits. You hear him fumble on the stairs off screen.
INT. NANS HOUSE LEE AND GARY'S BEDROOM NIGHT
Lorna is tucked up in bed. Garyenters. He picks up some shorts towear, throws them down and puts onsome tracksuit trousers instead.Then Gary fastens the tie aroundhis waist, tight.
Lorna is almost asleep, Gary climbs into bed.
LORNAI think it's cute that you twosleep in the same bed.
GARYHa, thanks.
Gary feels Lorna move slightly, almost as though she hasedged herself toward Gary a bit. Though she is facing awayfrom him.
Gary leans over to the bedside light and switches it off.
GARY (CONT'D)Night.
32.
Lorna turns to face Gary, eyes closed.
LORNANighty night.
GARY(cough).
Yep.
LORNAIs Michael really paying you £120a day?
GARYYeah. £60 for half a day. Timestwo.
Gary turns away.
GARY (CONT'D)Sleep well.
LORNAYeah, you too.
GARYYep. Definitely. I'm really sleepy.Tired.
Gary yawns.
Ah I'm going to sleep like a baby. I really am.
Gary lays awake, eyes open.
FADE OUT.
END OF EPISODE504b030414000600080000002100e9de0fbfff0000001c020000130000005b436f6e74656e745f54797065735d2e786d6cac91cb4ec3301045f748fc83e52d4a9cb2400825e982c78ec7a27cc0c8992416c9d8b2a755fbf74cd25442a820166c2cd933f79e3be372bd1f07b5c3989ca74aaff2422b24eb1b475da5df374fd9ad5689811a183c61a50f98f4babebc2837878049899a52a57be670674cb23d8e90721f90a4d2fa3802cb35762680fd800ecd7551dc18eb899138e3c943d7e503b6b01d583deee5f99824e290b4ba3f364eac4a430883b3c092d4eca8f946c916422ecab927f52ea42b89a1cd59c254f919b0e85e6535d135a8de20f20b8c12c3
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33.
END OF EPISODE (CONT'D)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34.
END OF EPISODE (CONT'D)d1e4600ead1ddaef67d40bc898b3ed4af81ac0d76a197c86826828a24bb318f3442d8ab518dfe3a20f000d6458d104a9694ac6d88728eee2782428d60cf03ac1a5193be4cbb921cd0b495fd054b5bd0f530c1931a3f7eaf9f7af9e3f45c70f9e1d3ff8e9f8e1c3e3073f5a42ceaa6d9c84e5552fbffdeccfc71fa33f9e7ef3f2d117d57859c6fffac327bffcfc793510d26726ce8b2f9ffcf6ecc98baf3efdfdbb4715f04d814765f890c644a29be408edf31814335671
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35.
3C3F786D6C2076657273696F6E3D22312E302220656E636F64696E673D225554462D3822207374616E64616C6F6E653D22796573223F3E0D0A3C613A636C724D617020786D6C6E733A613D22687474703A2F2F736368656D61732E6F70656E786D6C666F726D6174732E6F72672F64726177696E676D6C2F323030362F6D61696E22206267313D226C743122207478313D22646B3122206267323D226C743222207478323D22646B322220616363656E74313D22616363656E74312220616363656E74323D22616363656E74322220616363656E74333D22616363656E74332220616363656E74343D22616363656E74342220616363656E74353D22616363656E74352220616363656E74363D22616363656E74362220686C696E6B3D22686C696E6B2220666F6C486C696E6B3D22666F6C486C696E6B222F3E (CONT'D)
fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffdfffffffeffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff52006f006f007400200045006e00740072007900000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000016000500ffffffffffffffffffffffff0c6ad98892f1d411a65f0040963251e5000000000000000000000000f069fb6768fccc01feffffff00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000ffffffffffffffffffffffff000000000000000000000000
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36.
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