orchids after midnight
TRANSCRIPT
Orchids after Midnight
What does a lone soul do in a luxury hotel
on the 25th floor
Room 2514
overlooking the spires of St. Patrick’s
with the clock on the strokes of midnight
the night sky lit up in fiery blues
and whites
and streaks of glowing red streams
as unseen archangels
exit penthouse balcony windows
through the pores of Heaven.
Their fiery wings touch me as they heave by
sighing; entranced by the night in New York
humanity as always
their unsaid desire
and equal disgust.
One of them kisses me
as he passes;
he kisses me on my forehead
a wing brushing my cheek
as I reach my fingers through
his dark blank eye sockets;
as I reach
trying to feel his soul
trying to kiss his soul
which he’s erased.
I wasn’t supposed to be here alone.
Not after I tasted your soul
Not after I laid mine
into your possession
Not after you claimed me
Not after you said that
I was yours
Shrugging, you say that
“you’re not a spiritual being”
and that
Heaven means nothing to you
and neither will you to me ultimately
and with a fiery molten scowl
you flicked your wings closed
and left the Heavens.
And the sky goes dark
Not being believed in
Not being wanted on the 25th floor
in Room 2514.
Room 2514
a random group of numbers
added together
with a price tag you wouldn’t pay.
The price was
Keep your feelings out and on display
AND
Test that theory that
You are not a Spiritual Being
that cried out for union
with that part of you that
you either detest or are afraid of.
I open the door to Room 2514 and
Slide into the elevator whose mirrors
reflect the world
after midnight..
hollow/magnified;
the silence
about to break
into a thunder clap
but hasn’t
or won’t
or will…
with no warning
and
just suddenly
all 39 floors
will become a pile of rubble.
Jagged peaks of lightning
have left traces from past storms.
The clock that is not here
has stopped ticking.
Past midnight
there is no grief; no ecstasy.
After midnight.
Grief and ecstasy have passed (or are trying to pass quietly)
rather than
writhing in agony on the floor (a dark demon to be exorcized.)
“Be quiet! Be quiet!”
orchids after midnight are commanding Silently
Standing against the wall
in the lacquered box.
they have been
potted and kissed
and cosseted
into a serene state of existence
white
cool
velvety soft
expensive
protected
valued
…and are not thinking or weeping about tomorrow
or about what was given and
promised and/or
what might have been.
Silent, these orchids are
so much a picture of
so I take a picture of them
I take a picture of
myself
as I was
white
cool
velvety soft
expensive
protected
valued
lush
Here
Here Now
Here now alone
There is no one here
to take
a picture of
myself alone
so
I take a picture of my self
a picture of
orchids
after midnight (after)
after the non-believing archangel
has left the sky
has left the night
has left a hole in the sky
has closed his wings
and cannot see my tears.
I am the orchids after midnight.
So I take a picture of myself
before I die and disappear
in my grief no hole in the sky
only one hole
in the lacquer box
where one orchid after midnight
has disappeared into the ground