no deposit, no return (1976)

8/13/2019 No Deposit, No Return (1976)

1/116

100:03:08,961 --> 00:03:12,961

200:03:15,961 --> 00:03:18,429Bye, Tracy! Have fun!-You too. Where you going?

300:03:18,530 --> 00:03:20,364Washington, D.C.How about you?

400:03:20,465 --> 00:03:22,033Don't know. Someplace.

500:03:22,134 --> 00:03:24,669Mom hasn't told us yet.-I'll send you a card!

600:03:24,770 --> 00:03:26,470

bye.

700:03:31,110 --> 00:03:33,144No sign of mother yet, Tracy?

800:03:33,245 --> 00:03:35,914She'll be here, goHadley. -Good. Good.

900:03:36,015 --> 00:03:39,750

I wouldn't want Easter to be asdisappointing for you as Christmas.

1000:03:39,852 --> 00:03:42,086That wasn't mother'sfault, go Hadley.

1100:03:42,188 --> 00:03:45,190She was working in Paris, andthey ran into complications.

1200:03:45,291 --> 00:03:46,891So I remember.

1300:03:46,992 --> 00:03:49,393When a person's a completehead of a magazine,

14


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00:03:49,494 --> 00:03:52,297A person just can'tignore complications.

1500:03:52,397 --> 00:03:53,731Of course.

1600:03:53,833 --> 00:03:56,901Speaking of complications,where's your brother?

1700:03:57,002 --> 00:03:59,570He's athalf-mast. -I see.

1800:03:59,671 --> 00:04:02,640He's where? -There.

1900:04:02,741 --> 00:04:04,408

Jay...

2000:04:04,509 --> 00:04:06,610What are you doing up there?

2100:04:06,712 --> 00:04:08,679I'm looking for something.

2200:04:08,780 --> 00:04:11,850Jay Osborne, come

down here this instant.

2300:04:11,951 --> 00:04:14,219I can't. I lost Duster.

2400:04:21,060 --> 00:04:22,961never mind. I found him.

2500:04:24,529 --> 00:04:27,966My petunias! Oh!

2600:04:32,905 --> 00:04:35,340Jay, it's mother!

2700:04:40,612 --> 00:04:42,380Mom.

28


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00:04:42,481 --> 00:04:44,415Miss Murdoch.

2900:04:44,516 --> 00:04:48,619Tracy. -Where's mom?

3000:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,857There's been a slight changeof plans. In you go, children.

3100:04:54,126 --> 00:04:55,526Without that.

3200:04:55,627 --> 00:04:57,595Oh, he's my friend.

3300:04:57,696 --> 00:04:59,730I never go anywherewithout Duster.

3400:04:59,831 --> 00:05:04,102All right, put him inthe basket and get in.

3500:05:04,203 --> 00:05:06,938And roll down all the windows.

3600:05:07,039 --> 00:05:10,775Oh, go Hadley. -Good-bye,

Tracy. Have a happy Easter.

3700:05:10,876 --> 00:05:13,711You, too, go Hadley, and Ihave an Easter present for you.

3800:05:13,812 --> 00:05:17,282It's a handkerchief.-Well, thank you, Tracy.

39

00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:22,287And I got a present too.-Oh, and thank you, Jay.

4000:05:22,388 --> 00:05:24,422Aren't you dears?

4100:05:24,523 --> 00:05:26,490


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Bye. -Bye.

4200:05:29,895 --> 00:05:32,496You didn't giveanything dumb, I hope.

4300:05:32,597 --> 00:05:36,734Heck, no. It's one of mymost valuable possessions.

4400:05:55,087 --> 00:05:58,957But what happened to mother? I thoughtshe was supposed to get in last night.

4500:05:59,058 --> 00:06:03,194I'm afraid your mother's been detainedin Hong Kong for another two weeks.

4600:06:03,295 --> 00:06:04,395

Hong Kong?

4700:06:04,496 --> 00:06:07,565Two weeks? That'sour whole vacation.

4800:06:07,666 --> 00:06:10,901Well, naturally, your motherwas terribly disappointed.

49

00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:13,671This is the thirdvacation in a row.

5000:06:13,772 --> 00:06:16,807Jay, mom can't helpit. Work is work.

5100:06:16,908 --> 00:06:20,044So we spend Easter vacationat home. That's not so bad.

5200:06:20,145 --> 00:06:23,281Not at home, dear. Therewon't be anyone there.

5300:06:23,382 --> 00:06:26,417You see, it's my vacation,too, and I'm off to Bermuda.


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6/116

6700:07:26,512 --> 00:07:29,180I'll send you a nicepostcard from Bermuda.

6800:07:29,281 --> 00:07:30,948Bermuda?

6900:07:31,050 --> 00:07:34,585You wouldn't like toexchange tickets, would you?

7000:07:34,686 --> 00:07:37,955Nonsense. I'll bet by thetime you get to Los Angeles...

7100:07:38,057 --> 00:07:41,526You'll be as glad to see yourgrandfather as he is to see you.

7200:07:41,626 --> 00:07:44,028Trapped, Jameson,like a rat in a cage.

7300:07:44,129 --> 00:07:47,165Well, it's only for Eastervacation, Mr. Osborne.

7400:07:47,266 --> 00:07:49,567And it is an emergency.

-An emergency!

7500:07:49,668 --> 00:07:51,569An emergency is anearthquake or a tornado.

7600:07:51,670 --> 00:07:54,205My daughter-in-law's childrenare a science fiction nightmare.

77

00:07:54,306 --> 00:07:55,706Oh, please, please.

7800:07:55,807 --> 00:07:58,376Be very, very careful withthat. It's worth a fortune.

7900:07:58,477 --> 00:08:01,512


7/116

Perhaps they've matured a bitsince their last visit, sir.

8000:08:01,613 --> 00:08:03,714Jameson, when it comesto Tracy and Jay...

8100:08:05,884 --> 00:08:08,986There, there, sirWinston. There, there.

8200:08:09,088 --> 00:08:11,722I intend to leave nopiece of crystal in sight.

8300:08:11,823 --> 00:08:14,125No Dresden chinaunprotected. Up you go.

84

00:08:14,226 --> 00:08:18,296but the chandelier.If I may, sir...

8500:08:18,397 --> 00:08:20,965How could the little fellowpossibly reach the chandelier?

8600:08:21,066 --> 00:08:25,236The same way he reached it lastyear: With a rocket ship. Up.

8700:08:27,172 --> 00:08:30,908The launch was perfect, tillthat chandelier got in the way.

8800:08:31,009 --> 00:08:34,612And grandfather didn't have to stepon my rocket ship and crunch it.

8900:08:34,713 --> 00:08:37,281

He just doesn'tunderstand kids, Jay.

9000:08:37,382 --> 00:08:39,883I mean, it's been solong since he's had any.

9100:08:39,985 --> 00:08:42,153


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He had us last Summer.

9200:08:42,254 --> 00:08:45,123I tried, Tracy. I really did.

9300:08:45,224 --> 00:08:47,091I even hid myskateboard in the closet,

9400:08:47,192 --> 00:08:49,260So he wouldn't hurt himself.

9500:08:49,361 --> 00:08:51,929How did I know it was thestairway to the wine cellar?

9600:08:52,030 --> 00:08:55,633Airborne, Jameson. Thatskateboard was like a b-29.

9700:08:55,734 --> 00:09:00,204Straight down the stairs. Decimateda whole case of muto rostio, 1908.

9800:09:00,305 --> 00:09:04,175Yes, a lovely year,1908. Let me see, sir.

9900:09:04,276 --> 00:09:07,811

Was that before or after theerrant billiard ball episode?

10000:09:07,912 --> 00:09:11,915After, but before the bow andarrow incident. -Oh, yes, yes.

10100:09:12,017 --> 00:09:15,520I believe we still have that largefoam rubber cushion, if needed.

10200:09:15,621 --> 00:09:17,589Good. And let's make sure

10300:09:17,590 --> 00:09:19,557Dr. Butterworth's numberis handy at all times.

104


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00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:23,060Excuse me, Mr. Osborne. Anyplace special for the golf clubs?

10500:09:23,162 --> 00:09:24,928Oh, yes. Hide'em in the attic.

10600:09:25,030 --> 00:09:28,466Oh, good heavens. Only threemore hours to countdown.

10700:09:28,567 --> 00:09:32,703Three hours till doomsday.

10800:09:32,804 --> 00:09:34,772Do you thinkshe's really upset?

109

00:09:34,873 --> 00:09:36,774Do I think who's really upset?

11000:09:36,875 --> 00:09:39,510Well, mother, about notspending Easter with us.

11100:09:39,611 --> 00:09:41,479Of course. Shejust can't pick up

11200:09:41,580 --> 00:09:43,381In the middle ofher work and leave.

11300:09:43,482 --> 00:09:45,249I'll bet shewants to be with us

11400:09:45,350 --> 00:09:47,652Just as much as we

wanna be with her.

11500:09:47,752 --> 00:09:49,487Do you think so?

11600:09:49,588 --> 00:09:53,457Sure. I'll betyou mom wants to...


10/116

11700:09:53,559 --> 00:09:57,928Jay, suppose we didn'tgo to grandfather's.

11800:09:58,029 --> 00:09:59,597Huh?

11900:10:02,234 --> 00:10:03,334Look out!

12000:10:10,576 --> 00:10:12,843Sorry, sir. A near miss.

12100:10:12,944 --> 00:10:16,113Bert, Bert, will youplease be careful.

122

00:10:16,215 --> 00:10:19,116All we need is an accident here,and we're gonna blow the whole caper.

12300:10:19,218 --> 00:10:23,187I missed him, Duke. Ain't thatthe main thing, missing him?

12400:10:26,024 --> 00:10:28,693Yeah, that's the mainthing, all right, Bert. Yeah.

12500:10:30,195 --> 00:10:33,264No harm, no foul! It'sokay. Go ahead. Go ahead.

12600:10:36,468 --> 00:10:39,537Better he tests them anyway.

12700:10:46,845 --> 00:10:49,947Bert, how long are we gonna

follow that truck so closely?

12800:10:50,048 --> 00:10:53,183Uh, just while ourbumpers are stuck together.

12900:10:55,420 --> 00:10:56,754I'll handle it.


11/116

13000:11:09,301 --> 00:11:11,569I'm sorry, Duke.-It's all right.

13100:11:11,670 --> 00:11:14,505I guess I'm a littlenervous. Would you believe it?

13200:11:14,606 --> 00:11:18,709I got the whole thing: Sweatypalms, butterflies in the stomach.

13300:11:18,810 --> 00:11:21,245Maybe it's the airport.You know me and flying.

13400:11:21,346 --> 00:11:24,114Bert, w-w-will

you just relax.

13500:11:24,215 --> 00:11:26,550Yeah, right.

13600:11:26,652 --> 00:11:29,086After all, we're notgoin' up in any airplane.

13700:11:29,187 --> 00:11:31,088

We're just knockin'over a safe.

13800:11:50,475 --> 00:11:53,277You just worry about the safeand leave everything else to me.

13900:11:53,378 --> 00:11:55,446Everything's gonnago just great. -Yeah.

14000:11:55,547 --> 00:11:58,683the white zone is forimmediate loading and unloading

14100:11:58,784 --> 00:12:01,885Of passengersonly. No parking.


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14200:12:04,523 --> 00:12:07,124okay. If we godirect to Honolulu...

14300:12:07,225 --> 00:12:09,092And then to Guam,

14400:12:09,194 --> 00:12:11,329In 14 hours, wecan be in Hong Kong.

14500:12:11,430 --> 00:12:13,364With mother! -Right.

14600:12:13,465 --> 00:12:17,435If she can't bring her vacationto us, we'll bring ours to her.

147

00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:19,570Boy, you got itall figured out.

14800:12:19,671 --> 00:12:22,239Except for onesmall thing. -What?

14900:12:22,341 --> 00:12:26,711Where do we get the $1,200 topay for the two plane tickets?

15000:12:58,810 --> 00:13:01,645How about credit cards?Everybody uses credit cards.

15100:13:01,747 --> 00:13:03,647Jay, we don't haveany credit cards.

15200:13:03,749 --> 00:13:06,484

Okay. Well, then, let's justwrite a check at the bank.

15300:13:06,585 --> 00:13:08,118Like mother always does.

15400:13:08,219 --> 00:13:10,688Jay, you have to have money


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in the bank to begin with.

15500:13:10,789 --> 00:13:13,207Well, if you don'ttake any of my

15600:13:13,208 --> 00:13:15,626suggestions, we'llnever get to Hong Kong.

15700:13:26,971 --> 00:13:30,274Two pieces, eightinches long. -Okay.

15800:13:32,411 --> 00:13:36,113Last time out, you cracked one ofthese in less than seven minutes.

15900:13:36,214 --> 00:13:38,348

Remember, Duke?

16000:13:38,450 --> 00:13:40,684Guy gets a littleRusty after five years.

16100:13:40,786 --> 00:13:45,088Oh, no. Not you, Duke.You were the best.

162

00:13:45,189 --> 00:13:48,091Also the unluckiest.

16300:13:48,192 --> 00:13:52,129One thing though:We never got caught.

16400:13:52,230 --> 00:13:54,097We also never got anything.

165

00:13:54,198 --> 00:13:56,767Every safe we opened up eithercontained nonnegotiable bonds,

16600:13:56,868 --> 00:13:58,936Last year's lotterytickets or the mouse trap.

167


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00:13:59,037 --> 00:14:00,938Remember the mouse trap?

16800:14:01,039 --> 00:14:05,876It was either a case ofgoing straight or going broke.

16900:14:05,977 --> 00:14:07,645Don't think aboutit now, Duke.

17000:14:07,746 --> 00:14:11,682Just concentrate on whywe're going crooked again.

17100:14:13,418 --> 00:14:17,220The time has come, Jameson.Go in. Pick up the children.

172

00:14:17,322 --> 00:14:18,422Me, sir?

17300:14:18,523 --> 00:14:20,724Of course. -Unarmed?

17400:14:20,826 --> 00:14:23,661Armed with the knowledge that theraise I have been promising you...

175

00:14:23,762 --> 00:14:25,696Will be forthcomingin your next paycheck.

17600:14:25,797 --> 00:14:27,798Oh, that isn't necessary, sir.

17700:14:27,899 --> 00:14:30,468Though it does makethe task a bit easier.

17800:14:30,569 --> 00:14:34,371be sure to check for valuablesbefore leaving the plane.

17900:14:36,475 --> 00:14:38,509Duster. Duster.

180


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00:14:39,310 --> 00:14:40,310Duster.

18100:14:40,411 --> 00:14:43,814What's the matter?-Duster's gone.

18200:14:43,915 --> 00:14:46,617Duster.

18300:14:46,718 --> 00:14:49,620Has anybody seen a skunk?

18400:14:49,721 --> 00:14:54,792Excuse me? Which gatewill flight 801 arrive at?

18500:14:54,893 --> 00:14:57,294801? That prob...

18600:15:05,604 --> 00:15:07,437get him away from me!

18700:15:07,506 --> 00:15:09,172Security!

18800:15:09,273 --> 00:15:12,442run! Skunk! Skunk!

18900:15:13,612 --> 00:15:16,380Come on. Let'sget out of here.

19000:15:29,694 --> 00:15:32,229What happened? -There weretwo of 'em and a skunk.

19100:15:32,330 --> 00:15:35,833Two of what and a skunk?

-Which way did they go?

19200:15:41,239 --> 00:15:45,208We hit it. We hit it, Duke.It's the garage free and clear.

19300:15:49,180 --> 00:15:50,480What's that mean?


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19400:15:50,582 --> 00:15:52,716It means we justwent straight again.

19500:15:52,817 --> 00:15:55,553Fill that bucket upwith everything you can.

19600:15:58,757 --> 00:16:00,624I locked it.

19700:16:00,725 --> 00:16:03,293You locked it.

19800:16:03,394 --> 00:16:06,630Let's get out ofhere. Leave it.

19900:16:15,173 --> 00:16:18,576okay, nice and easy,like we're tourists.

20000:16:21,646 --> 00:16:26,183Hey. What wereyou doing in there?

20100:16:29,888 --> 00:16:31,789I don't know how we lost 'em.

20200:16:31,890 --> 00:16:34,625How'd that little skunk geton board in the first place?

20300:16:34,726 --> 00:16:36,827He got on boardwith his sister.

20400:16:36,928 --> 00:16:39,496

Oh. Oh, you mean the pet.

20500:16:39,598 --> 00:16:45,069Now, if I were miss Tracy,how would I get out of here?

20600:16:51,810 --> 00:16:54,511Ah.


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20700:17:13,197 --> 00:17:15,699the white zone isfor immediate loading

20800:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,301And unloading ofpassengers only.

20900:17:18,402 --> 00:17:21,972No parking. Violatorswill be towed away.

21000:17:26,511 --> 00:17:30,313What are we gonnado? -Hide Duster.

21100:17:46,297 --> 00:17:48,832take off, driver!

21200:17:48,933 --> 00:17:50,701This cab is taken.

21300:17:50,802 --> 00:17:53,971Of course, it'staken. We're taking it.

21400:17:57,341 --> 00:18:00,577I'm afraid we've lost

them, Mr. Osborne.

21500:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,379I'm afraid we haven't.

21600:18:02,480 --> 00:18:04,682Peter, follow that cab.

21700:18:07,786 --> 00:18:10,654I wonder what they're up to.

21800:18:10,755 --> 00:18:13,323Where do you think you kidsare goin'? -We're running away.

21900:18:13,424 --> 00:18:17,061Running away, huh?


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22000:18:18,362 --> 00:18:20,931Yes, just like you are.

22100:18:21,032 --> 00:18:24,301Just a minute there, young lady.Who says we're running away?

22200:18:24,402 --> 00:18:26,303Betcha they would.

22300:18:26,404 --> 00:18:29,940They'd be pretty interested inthese burglar tools. -Burglar tools!

22400:18:30,041 --> 00:18:32,843I believe this is what isknown as a Jimmy. -Give me that.

225

00:18:32,944 --> 00:18:34,978This is a pick forlocks. -Put that away.

22600:18:35,080 --> 00:18:37,547Boy, a couple of realcrooks. What'd you get?

22700:18:37,648 --> 00:18:41,819So far, just a couple ofkids. -And a skunk. A skunk!

22800:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,386It's just a pet.

22900:18:43,487 --> 00:18:46,456Well, you and your pet betterget yourselves another ride.

23000:18:46,557 --> 00:18:48,959okay.

23100:18:49,060 --> 00:18:52,596Driver, would you please turnaround and stop that police car?

23200:18:52,697 --> 00:18:55,933Just keep going ahead, driver.


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23300:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,374sergeant turner?

23400:19:04,475 --> 00:19:07,577What happened? -They were afterthe safe in the treasurer's office.

23500:19:07,678 --> 00:19:11,115Cleaning lady said they had itopen, but it wasn't blown or forced.

23600:19:11,216 --> 00:19:13,717Just a little adhesivetape stuck to the door.

23700:19:13,818 --> 00:19:16,720Adhesive tape. About thisfar from the dial? -Yes, sir.

23800:19:16,821 --> 00:19:20,390Recognize the MO, sir? -A guyI've been tryin' to nail for years.

23900:19:20,491 --> 00:19:22,459How much did he get?-Apparently nothing.

24000:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,862That's my man. He never did.

-I had a case like that...

24100:19:24,963 --> 00:19:27,364In my socio-psychologycourse at the academy.

24200:19:27,465 --> 00:19:29,532Oh, Longnecker... -It's thesadomasochistic personality at work.

243

00:19:29,634 --> 00:19:32,202Longnecker. -This man is partof the compulsive loser syndrome.

24400:19:32,303 --> 00:19:34,638Longnecker, this guy was nota loser. He was just unlucky.

245


20/116

00:19:34,739 --> 00:19:38,441Until he disappeared fiveyears ago, he was the best.

24600:19:38,542 --> 00:19:42,345And if he's back in business, we'dbetter get lucky before he does.

24700:19:50,221 --> 00:19:53,523You can drop usright, uh, here.

24800:20:02,066 --> 00:20:05,368Well, kids, this iswhere we say good-bye.

24900:20:06,370 --> 00:20:09,506Is this your hideout?-Will you please...

25000:20:09,607 --> 00:20:11,942Pay the driver, Bert.-Oh, sure, Duke. Oh, Duke.

25100:20:12,043 --> 00:20:15,078You haven't got any loosechange on ya, have ya?

25200:20:15,180 --> 00:20:17,080You didn't bring

any money with you?

25300:20:17,182 --> 00:20:19,116Well, we had the carwhen we left home.

25400:20:19,217 --> 00:20:21,384I thought we'd be loadednow. -How are we gonna pay?

255

00:20:21,485 --> 00:20:23,020Keep the change, driver.

25600:20:28,793 --> 00:20:31,728Why aren't you in that cab?-We can use a hideout too.

25700:20:31,830 --> 00:20:33,697


21/116

No, no. No Chance. No.

25800:20:33,798 --> 00:20:37,467If you're runnin' away that meanssomebody's gonna come lookin' for you.

25900:20:37,568 --> 00:20:39,903We've got enough troubles.Get out of here. Scat.

26000:20:40,004 --> 00:20:43,207Scat. -Okay. Okay.

26100:20:44,608 --> 00:20:47,044Come on, Jay.-Where we goin'?

26200:20:47,145 --> 00:20:51,748Oh, I don't know. Maybe there's

a park that we can sleep in.

26300:20:53,751 --> 00:20:56,386what's the matter?-Oh, nothing.

26400:20:56,487 --> 00:20:59,189It's just my asthma. -Asthma?

26500:20:59,290 --> 00:21:04,161

You know I always get it when it'scold and damp and late at night,

26600:21:04,262 --> 00:21:06,897And I have to sleep outdoors.

26700:21:06,998 --> 00:21:09,699But I'll be all right.

26800:21:09,800 --> 00:21:14,304

Let's get some of thesenewspapers out of the trash can.

26900:21:14,405 --> 00:21:17,507what for?

27000:21:17,608 --> 00:21:21,078To stuff inside of our


22/116

clothing, so we don't freeze.

27100:21:44,402 --> 00:21:47,938Just... One... Night.

27200:22:02,120 --> 00:22:05,022Shall I retrieve them, sir?

27300:22:05,123 --> 00:22:07,457there might beone alternative.

27400:22:07,558 --> 00:22:10,928On the other hand, would you saythe children are in imminent danger?

27500:22:11,029 --> 00:22:13,230No, sir.

27600:22:13,331 --> 00:22:15,933And might not a look onthe seamier side of life

27700:22:16,034 --> 00:22:20,137Help them to show morerespect for the finer things?

27800:22:20,238 --> 00:22:22,105Oh, I believe it would, sir.

27900:22:22,206 --> 00:22:24,341If we leave Peter behindto keep an eye on them,

28000:22:24,442 --> 00:22:26,944Might this be the tonic tostraighten those children up,

28100:22:27,045 --> 00:22:29,679

Make them intobetter citizens?

28200:22:29,780 --> 00:22:31,681Indeed, it might, sir.

28300:22:31,782 --> 00:22:33,417That's very astute


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of you, Jameson.

28400:22:33,517 --> 00:22:36,186You can expect a bonusalong with your raise.

28500:22:39,523 --> 00:22:41,658I got the keys.

28600:22:43,061 --> 00:22:45,628Five grand, Duke. Wherewe gonna get five grand?

28700:22:45,729 --> 00:22:48,531We'll get it. We'll getit. Now just don't panic.

28800:22:48,632 --> 00:22:51,134Yeah, right.

Gotcha. Don't panic.

28900:22:51,235 --> 00:22:54,271After all, we're just smallpotatoes to a guy like big Joe.

29000:22:54,372 --> 00:22:55,738He deals with millions.

29100:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,242

He probably forgotall about us.

29200:22:59,344 --> 00:23:01,144Then again, heprobably remembered.

29300:23:01,245 --> 00:23:04,247Would you believe thedoor was open, Duke?

29400:23:04,349 --> 00:23:06,549We knew that you would want usto make ourselves comfortable.

29500:23:06,650 --> 00:23:10,320Oh, sure, make yourselvescomfortable. You already have.


24/116

29600:23:14,225 --> 00:23:17,060Freddie.

29700:23:17,161 --> 00:23:20,330Hello, kids.Hello, "puddy cat."

29800:23:20,431 --> 00:23:24,001I didn't know you werea family man, Duke.

29900:23:24,102 --> 00:23:26,536Oh, yes, yes, of course,yes. This is my niece.

30000:23:26,637 --> 00:23:29,373And, um... My niece andnephew from, uh, buffalo.

30100:23:29,474 --> 00:23:31,441Buffalo. -Buffalo!

30200:23:31,542 --> 00:23:33,176That's near Syracuse.

30300:23:33,277 --> 00:23:36,079Bert, why don't you see if we canget some pajamas for the kids...

30400:23:36,180 --> 00:23:39,516And tuck 'em in to their littlebeddy-by. -Oh, sure, sure.

30500:23:40,684 --> 00:23:42,852Psst.

30600:23:45,089 --> 00:23:47,024Grapevine tells me that, uh,

30700:23:47,125 --> 00:23:49,692You were at theairport tonight, Duke.

30800:23:49,793 --> 00:23:51,895Yeah, but it's myusual luck, Joe.


25/116

30900:23:51,996 --> 00:23:53,897See? Nothing. Nothing.

31000:23:53,998 --> 00:23:56,400Oh, that's too bad.

31100:23:56,501 --> 00:23:59,336The computer's gonna bevery unhappy to hear that.

31200:23:59,437 --> 00:24:00,437Computer?

31300:24:00,538 --> 00:24:04,007Yeah, that noteis... Way overdue.

31400:24:04,108 --> 00:24:05,808

And it's a sizable amount.

31500:24:05,910 --> 00:24:08,711Well, it was $5,000the last time I looked.

31600:24:08,812 --> 00:24:11,348You haven't lookedin a long time, Duke.

317

00:24:11,449 --> 00:24:15,252And you know those computers.Clickety-click, clickety-click.

31800:24:15,353 --> 00:24:20,223Interest, carryin' charges. Intereston carryin' charges. Clickety-click.

31900:24:20,324 --> 00:24:23,793Well, just how much hasit clickety-clicked up to?

32000:24:23,894 --> 00:24:25,762Nine big ones.

32100:24:25,863 --> 00:24:27,830N-nine... Ninethousand dollars?


26/116

32200:24:27,932 --> 00:24:31,935Every minute we spend talkin',it's clickety-click clickety-click.

32300:24:32,036 --> 00:24:35,372Isn't there some way wecould get an extension?

32400:24:35,473 --> 00:24:39,142An extension? -An extension.

32500:24:39,243 --> 00:24:42,112I mean, thegarage can make it.

32600:24:42,213 --> 00:24:44,414We were juststarting to roll...

32700:24:44,515 --> 00:24:47,684When they tore up the streetsout here and blocked it off.

32800:24:47,785 --> 00:24:49,919Started to build highrises on each side of us.

32900:24:50,020 --> 00:24:53,290Isn't it a shame? Isn't

it a shame, Freddie?

33000:24:53,391 --> 00:24:56,726It's a shame, but I can'ttell that to the computer.

33100:24:56,827 --> 00:24:59,429Me, I'm a pushover,but the computer...

332

00:24:59,530 --> 00:25:03,766If people don't pay their debts,that computer goes to pieces.

33300:25:03,867 --> 00:25:05,969Stick around, shadow.

33400:25:08,106 --> 00:25:11,874


27/116

Come here. I think you mightbe interested in this too.

33500:25:11,976 --> 00:25:14,311Me? No, I'm justthe wheel man.

33600:25:14,412 --> 00:25:17,347I just do the driving. I'mnot even very good at that.

33700:25:17,448 --> 00:25:20,650Duke just keeps me aroundbecause I'm his ex-brother-in-law.

33800:25:20,751 --> 00:25:23,253See, I was marriedto his sister Irene.

339

00:25:23,354 --> 00:25:26,389We never got along though.I got along better with Duke.

34000:25:26,491 --> 00:25:28,492Guess that's whyhe keeps me around.

34100:25:28,593 --> 00:25:30,793guess that's why he letyou sign this note too.

34200:25:30,894 --> 00:25:34,697You're buddies, huh? Thatis your name, isn't it?

34300:25:34,798 --> 00:25:36,699Bert Delaney?

34400:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,735Well, now, I'm not sure

if it's exactly that.

34500:25:38,836 --> 00:25:40,737I'd have to checkmy birth certificate.

34600:25:40,838 --> 00:25:42,405That's in Hackensack,


28/116

new jersey.

34700:25:42,507 --> 00:25:44,874I was born in Hackensack.Whole family was.

34800:25:44,975 --> 00:25:47,477Mom and the kids.

34900:25:47,578 --> 00:25:49,679Bet you'd love tosee your mom again.

35000:25:49,780 --> 00:25:54,451Oh, well, poor mom. Yousee, she's up in, uh...

35100:25:54,552 --> 00:25:57,920Oh. That... That's what

you meant, huh? Yeah, well.

35200:26:01,592 --> 00:26:03,66072 hours, Duke.

35300:26:06,330 --> 00:26:10,233And I hope you don'tdisappoint the computer.

35400:26:17,708 --> 00:26:21,645

How do you suppose he did that withjust a little stub of the pencil?

35500:26:23,047 --> 00:26:28,185I'm wonderin' how we're gonnaget $9,000 in the next 72 hours.

35600:26:30,221 --> 00:26:32,556Did you hear whatbig Joe said to Duke?

35700:26:32,657 --> 00:26:34,691All I heard waspencils cracking.

35800:26:34,792 --> 00:26:37,160Boy, Duke and Bertare in trouble.


29/116

35900:26:37,261 --> 00:26:40,897Yeah. This is somecheesy hideout.

36000:26:40,998 --> 00:26:43,733Two guys can just walk in andshove 'em around like that.

36100:26:43,834 --> 00:26:47,036Boy, if this was my hideout,I'd make a few changes.

36200:26:47,137 --> 00:26:50,207They need more thanthat. They need money.

36300:26:50,308 --> 00:26:53,510Even more money than we need.-How're they gonna get it?

36400:26:53,611 --> 00:26:58,715Well, I think I have an ideaof how we can all get it.

36500:27:09,159 --> 00:27:10,993Duster. Duster.

36600:27:16,267 --> 00:27:18,335Duster.

36700:27:31,382 --> 00:27:34,651What do you want, kid?-It's Duster. I lost him.

36800:27:34,752 --> 00:27:38,555Oh, yeah? I'm sorry.

36900:27:49,367 --> 00:27:51,434I found him.

37000:27:53,571 --> 00:27:56,172Thank you. -Mmm.

37100:28:07,818 --> 00:28:09,519Bacon?

372


30/116

00:28:09,620 --> 00:28:12,589Uh-uh. That'sgotta be waffles.

37300:28:12,690 --> 00:28:14,624And do I know waffles.

37400:28:14,725 --> 00:28:17,126When I was marriedto Irene, your sister,

37500:28:17,227 --> 00:28:19,596She drove me bananaswith her waffles.

37600:28:19,697 --> 00:28:21,831Morning. -What's this?

37700:28:21,932 --> 00:28:24,768

Breakfast. I hope you likescrambled eggs and bacon.

37800:28:24,868 --> 00:28:27,671Oh, it's better thanwaffles and Irene.

37900:28:27,772 --> 00:28:30,373Some surprise, huh, Duke?-Not to me, it isn't.

38000:28:30,474 --> 00:28:32,909Now I said one night.

38100:28:33,010 --> 00:28:35,878If you think this meal is gonnabuy you some extra time, young lady,

38200:28:35,979 --> 00:28:38,815You're very muchmistaken. -Oh, no.

38300:28:38,916 --> 00:28:41,117Breakfast is justbecause I like to cook.

38400:28:41,218 --> 00:28:43,252And I like toeat. -And so do I.


31/116

38500:28:43,354 --> 00:28:45,522Wait a minute. Waitjust one minute here.

38600:28:45,623 --> 00:28:48,191We didn't have bacon and eggs inthe house. -You're quite right.

38700:28:48,292 --> 00:28:51,761I bought them the second timeI went out. -The second time?

38800:28:51,862 --> 00:28:55,565Well, the first time I went outlast night, the market wasn't open,

38900:28:55,666 --> 00:28:58,234So I just mailed the

ransom note to grandfather.

39000:28:59,704 --> 00:29:02,772You did what? -Ransomnote to grandfather?

39100:29:02,873 --> 00:29:04,874For $100,000.

39200:29:04,975 --> 00:29:08,211

I told him to leave it under theumbrella tree in Williams garden.

39300:29:08,312 --> 00:29:11,214You... Hold it. Hold it.-Don't worry. He can spare it.

39400:29:11,315 --> 00:29:13,082Yeah, he's gotmillions and billions.

39500:29:13,183 --> 00:29:16,953Hold it! -All we need is enoughfor two tickets to Hong Kong.

39600:29:17,054 --> 00:29:19,389You can have therest. -Just hold it!


32/116

39700:29:19,490 --> 00:29:22,325The squeeze may be on, butit's not enough to turn me...

39800:29:22,426 --> 00:29:25,228From being a safecrackerinto a kidnapper.

39900:29:25,329 --> 00:29:29,165Never enough for that. -But you didn'tkidnap us. We kidnapped ourselves.

40000:29:29,266 --> 00:29:31,334Oh, don't beridiculous. -Yeah.

40100:29:31,435 --> 00:29:33,536Although come tothink of it, they did.

40200:29:33,637 --> 00:29:35,438And you didn't sendthe ransom note. We did.

40300:29:35,539 --> 00:29:38,475She's got a point there too. -Allyou've gotta do is pick up the money.

40400:29:38,576 --> 00:29:40,443

That sounds simpleenough. -Simple?

40500:29:40,544 --> 00:29:43,646Have you lost your marbles? Do youknow what the rap is for kidnapping?

40600:29:43,748 --> 00:29:45,515He's right, Tracy.

407

00:29:45,616 --> 00:29:49,719Do you know what the rap isfor not paying big Joe $9,000?

40800:29:50,788 --> 00:29:51,888She's right, Duke.

40900:29:51,989 --> 00:29:54,391


33/116

I'd rather lose my marblesthan be a broken pencil.

41000:29:54,492 --> 00:29:56,393Oh, you would.

41100:29:56,494 --> 00:29:58,728Don't you believein fate? -Fate?

41200:29:58,829 --> 00:30:00,714It was fate that putus in that taxi cab

41300:30:00,715 --> 00:30:02,599with you. -I thoughtit was you, Tracy.

41400:30:02,700 --> 00:30:06,369

Maybe it was fate, Duke. I mean,it'd be criminal to go against fate.

41500:30:06,470 --> 00:30:09,105The money would help usall. -Of course, it will.

41600:30:09,206 --> 00:30:13,075Come on, Duke. Be agood Guy and kidnap us.

41700:30:16,013 --> 00:30:18,415Good day, Jameson.-Good day, sir.

41800:30:18,516 --> 00:30:21,117Good day, sir Winston.

41900:30:21,218 --> 00:30:23,953After your breakfast, sir,shall I bring the car around

42000:30:24,054 --> 00:30:26,823To pick up miss Tracyand master James?

42100:30:29,894 --> 00:30:32,061There, there, sir Winston.


34/116

42200:30:32,162 --> 00:30:35,164You have a knack for ruininga perfectly beautiful morning.

42300:30:35,265 --> 00:30:38,134Sorry, sir. Will you havesausages or bacon with your eggs?

42400:30:38,235 --> 00:30:40,069Neither, thank you.I've lost my appetite.

42500:30:40,170 --> 00:30:42,639Yes, I quiteunderstand. -What's this?

42600:30:42,740 --> 00:30:46,743Well, it arrived early thismorning, sir. Special delivery.

42700:30:51,849 --> 00:30:55,351Osborne residence. Oh,yes, Peter. Just a moment.

42800:30:56,219 --> 00:30:58,755It's Peter, sir.

42900:30:59,990 --> 00:31:02,625Morning, Peter. Hmm?

43000:31:03,894 --> 00:31:07,530She went to the...Went to the mailbox?

43100:31:07,631 --> 00:31:09,699I can't imagine.

43200:31:11,301 --> 00:31:14,370On the other hand, maybe I can.

I'll be right back to you, Peter.

43300:31:14,472 --> 00:31:18,407Very, uh, interesting developmenthere. We have a ransom note.

43400:31:18,509 --> 00:31:20,810Ransom note?


35/116


36/116

my breakfast. -Oh.

44800:31:54,044 --> 00:31:57,213Then we will take additional suppliesto Peter for his prolonged vigil,

44900:31:57,314 --> 00:31:59,415After which I will havea nice round of golf.

45000:31:59,517 --> 00:32:04,387Sounds delightful, sir. -Also, I'llhave bacon and sausage with my eggs.

45100:32:04,488 --> 00:32:08,090Your appetite'sreturned, sir. -Quite.

45200:33:00,778 --> 00:33:02,845

What time you got?

45300:33:03,914 --> 00:33:06,382I just told you thetime five minutes ago.

45400:33:06,483 --> 00:33:11,253Oh, right, yeah. It was five to 12:00then, so that'd make it 12:00 now.

455

00:33:11,354 --> 00:33:13,690So in four hours,we pick up the money.

45600:33:18,195 --> 00:33:20,930Will you please eitherdrink that or put it down?

45700:33:21,031 --> 00:33:24,366Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, Duke.

45800:33:24,468 --> 00:33:28,705Irene always used to make a cup ofhot chocolate to steady the nerves.

45900:33:28,806 --> 00:33:30,607She never gave me any though.

460


37/116

00:33:30,708 --> 00:33:32,709they're here! It's the cops!

46100:33:32,810 --> 00:33:36,345It's fire engines,and they're passing by.

46200:33:39,917 --> 00:33:44,186yeah, right. I alwaysget that backwards.

46300:33:44,287 --> 00:33:47,123See, back in jersey,when you hear a...

46400:33:49,292 --> 00:33:51,160It's usually a police car.

46500:33:51,261 --> 00:33:54,030

But if it's a...

46600:33:54,131 --> 00:33:55,898It's probably an ambulance.

46700:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,333But a fire engine can go...

46800:34:00,704 --> 00:34:02,705Or ding-ding-ding-ding,

ding-ding-ding.

46900:34:02,806 --> 00:34:04,807Personally, I'drather hear the...

47000:34:06,677 --> 00:34:08,044Because that...

47100:34:08,145 --> 00:34:10,279

ding-ding-ding-ding...

47200:34:10,380 --> 00:34:12,782Boy, that'll drive you crazy.

47300:34:15,385 --> 00:34:17,820I'm sorry, Duke. I guessI'm just a little edgy.


38/116

47400:34:17,921 --> 00:34:20,389You think we canpull this off?

47500:34:21,458 --> 00:34:23,126Who knows?

47600:34:23,226 --> 00:34:26,295Maybe. If you cankeep the kids hidden,

47700:34:26,396 --> 00:34:28,898And, uh, quiet till 4:00.

47800:34:28,999 --> 00:34:32,535Oh. That shouldn'tbe too hard.

47900:34:32,636 --> 00:34:34,003Where are they?

48000:34:34,104 --> 00:34:36,572Well, the girl, Tracy,she's in the bedroom.

48100:34:36,674 --> 00:34:39,308And the boy? -Jay?

48200:34:39,409 --> 00:34:41,778Jay!

48300:34:43,446 --> 00:34:44,847Check on Jay, too, Duke.

48400:34:44,948 --> 00:34:47,717He just walked byoutside the window.

48500:34:47,818 --> 00:34:49,986Outside the window!

48600:34:52,890 --> 00:34:55,357Jay Osborne, come back here!

48700:34:55,458 --> 00:34:59,295


39/116

Go get him. Go on. I'llgo downstairs. Go get him.

48800:35:00,964 --> 00:35:03,032Duster, come back.

48900:35:15,679 --> 00:35:17,513Here, Duster. Come on, Duster.

49000:35:17,614 --> 00:35:19,415Jay. Now, Jay...

49100:35:19,516 --> 00:35:22,819Duster, come back.

49200:35:24,354 --> 00:35:25,254Jay, now you be careful.

493

00:35:25,355 --> 00:35:28,524You hear me, Jay?

49400:35:31,328 --> 00:35:33,996oh.

49500:36:02,659 --> 00:36:06,129You masher! I'll teachyou to look in my window!

496

00:36:06,230 --> 00:36:08,564I'm sorry, lady. -Heel!

49700:36:15,605 --> 00:36:19,075What are you doingdown here? Get up there!

49800:36:20,677 --> 00:36:25,347stop it! Will you stop that!

499

00:36:41,731 --> 00:36:44,366Be careful, Bert!

50000:36:48,972 --> 00:36:50,539no!

50100:37:01,551 --> 00:37:03,419Duster, you come down here.


40/116

50200:37:03,520 --> 00:37:06,856What are you doingup there, Jay?

50300:37:06,957 --> 00:37:08,858Duster!

50400:37:08,959 --> 00:37:12,761Duster. Duster.

50500:37:17,467 --> 00:37:19,302How'd he get up there?

50600:37:19,402 --> 00:37:23,505I don't know. Duster!

50700:37:31,315 --> 00:37:33,482

Here, Duster.

50800:37:38,588 --> 00:37:39,755Duster!

50900:37:42,659 --> 00:37:44,126Get back here!

51000:37:49,166 --> 00:37:51,234Duster!

51100:37:53,136 --> 00:37:55,872Duster, you get back here!

51200:37:57,341 --> 00:37:59,242Where do youthink you're going?

51300:37:59,343 --> 00:38:01,744I gotta go get

Duster. -Get back.

51400:38:09,386 --> 00:38:11,120Come on, Duster.

51500:38:11,221 --> 00:38:13,622come on. Nice skunk.


41/116

51600:38:13,723 --> 00:38:15,791Come on.

51700:38:17,060 --> 00:38:18,961Duster, come here!

51800:38:19,062 --> 00:38:20,729Well, go get him!

51900:38:29,973 --> 00:38:32,408No! -No, Bert! No! Get back!

52000:38:32,509 --> 00:38:35,644Hold on, Duster.

52100:38:37,747 --> 00:38:39,916Get a... Get a canvas!

52200:38:40,017 --> 00:38:42,718Anything! A gunnysack! A potato bag!

52300:38:42,819 --> 00:38:46,122hold on, Duster. He'scomin' out to get ya.

52400:38:47,357 --> 00:38:49,926Be careful. -What?

52500:38:53,797 --> 00:38:57,900Get it in here! Allright, stretch it tight.

52600:39:03,273 --> 00:39:05,874Get it out! Stretch ittight! Stretch it tighter!

52700:39:05,976 --> 00:39:08,044

This way!

52800:39:11,181 --> 00:39:13,816Ah! Ah, ah.

52900:39:18,455 --> 00:39:19,922Now hold on!


42/116

53000:39:24,127 --> 00:39:26,628here! Grab my wrist.

53100:39:40,978 --> 00:39:43,045Hang on!

53200:39:49,719 --> 00:39:51,954Whoa! -Whoa!

53300:39:52,055 --> 00:39:54,223Hey!

53400:40:02,199 --> 00:40:04,500Oh, no! -Don't!

53500:40:18,382 --> 00:40:20,582get us down!

53600:40:34,197 --> 00:40:36,899are ya all right,kid? -Yeah, thanks.

53700:40:38,468 --> 00:40:41,870Holy smoke! A skunk!Let's get outta here!

53800:40:41,971 --> 00:40:45,574Duster! -Jay!

53900:40:46,476 --> 00:40:48,577Duster, you come back here!

54000:40:51,948 --> 00:40:54,050Where do youthink you're goin'?

54100:40:54,151 --> 00:40:56,419I gotta get Duster

before he falls off.

54200:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,787You stay here and I'll...

54300:40:58,888 --> 00:41:01,190I'll go out and get him.


43/116

54400:41:16,373 --> 00:41:18,707be careful, Duster!

54500:41:52,875 --> 00:41:55,478Boy, Duster. Youcan come back now.

54600:41:55,579 --> 00:41:57,746we got Duster.

54700:42:04,387 --> 00:42:05,621Ow!

54800:42:18,335 --> 00:42:20,102Come on now, fella.

54900:42:20,203 --> 00:42:23,139Come on. Slow and easy.

55000:42:26,309 --> 00:42:28,244No, son. Come on back here.

55100:42:28,345 --> 00:42:31,847Gimme your hand, tex,rod. Now come on, fella.

55200:42:31,948 --> 00:42:33,749Easy now. Don't look down.

55300:42:33,850 --> 00:42:35,984Now come on. Come on.

55400:42:36,085 --> 00:42:37,853Just another step.

55500:42:38,755 --> 00:42:42,458Nothin' to beafraid of. That's it.

55600:42:47,096 --> 00:42:50,199Hold it, mister.Hey, Mac, don't move.

55700:42:50,300 --> 00:42:53,169Bert, come back!-Huh? What'd you say?


44/116

55800:42:53,270 --> 00:42:55,103Get back!

55900:42:55,205 --> 00:42:57,406Bert, don't step!

56000:42:57,507 --> 00:42:59,041Don't what?

56100:42:59,142 --> 00:43:01,477Bert, don't!

56200:43:36,112 --> 00:43:38,180Bert! Bert?

56300:43:44,688 --> 00:43:47,789How long did you

say it is until 4:00?

56400:44:04,207 --> 00:44:06,475Oh, what a haul.A hundred grand!

56500:44:06,576 --> 00:44:08,310Plus a cowhide briefcase!

56600:44:08,411 --> 00:44:10,779

Doesn't feel like ahundred grand to me.

56700:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,482Maybe he wrote us a check.

56800:44:17,320 --> 00:44:20,456"having difficulty raisingthe money. Will need more time.

569

00:44:20,557 --> 00:44:26,595"probably until after Eastervacation. J.W. Osborne."

57000:44:26,696 --> 00:44:28,964"having difficultyraising the money.

571


45/116

00:44:29,065 --> 00:44:33,502"will need more time. Probablyuntil after Easter vacation."

57200:44:33,603 --> 00:44:36,305That grandfather of yourshas got some sense of humor.

57300:44:36,406 --> 00:44:37,806But I don't understand.

57400:44:37,907 --> 00:44:40,309You don't understand?Why, it's very simple.

57500:44:40,410 --> 00:44:42,978Your grandfather isn'ttaking us seriously.

576

00:44:43,079 --> 00:44:45,781Nobody's taking us seriously.

57700:44:45,882 --> 00:44:47,516What do we do, Duke?

57800:44:47,617 --> 00:44:49,451We get ourselvesout of this caper,

579

00:44:49,552 --> 00:44:53,289And we ship those kids back totheir grandfather, that's what we do.

58000:44:53,390 --> 00:44:56,325Ship them back? You mean,give up the money entirely?

58100:44:56,426 --> 00:44:57,959Money? What money?

58200:44:58,060 --> 00:45:00,962Don't you think he'll come upwith something to get 'em back?

58300:45:01,063 --> 00:45:04,400Would you? So far, all we'vegot out of this kidnapping


46/116

58400:45:04,501 --> 00:45:07,969Is an I.O.U. And agenuine leather briefcase.

58500:45:08,070 --> 00:45:09,772Yeah, but what about big Joe?

58600:45:09,872 --> 00:45:11,840If we don't come upwith what we owe him,

58700:45:11,941 --> 00:45:15,277He's liable to go fromclickety-click to bangety-bang.

58800:45:15,378 --> 00:45:17,446We'll just take one thingat a time. Now first...

58900:45:17,547 --> 00:45:20,916I don't care how much you poundon that door. You can't come in.

59000:45:21,017 --> 00:45:23,652Our grandfather will neverpay that ransom. Never, never!

59100:45:23,753 --> 00:45:27,255Did you leave the TV on

upstairs? -That's no TV.

59200:45:27,357 --> 00:45:30,225help? How can I?- give me that chair.

59300:45:30,327 --> 00:45:32,661Hold on now, Jay!You can do it!

594

00:45:32,762 --> 00:45:36,164I can't, Tracy. I can't.They're pushing too hard.

59500:45:36,265 --> 00:45:40,101what'd you say? There's so muchnoise I can't even hear you.

596


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00:45:40,203 --> 00:45:43,372Oh, no, there it goes. Theyjust broke down the door.

59700:45:43,473 --> 00:45:45,607Help, help!-They're here now.

59800:45:45,709 --> 00:45:47,743They're coming in.

59900:45:47,844 --> 00:45:50,979Tell grandfather...Tell him to pray for us.

60000:45:53,316 --> 00:45:55,951Just who were you talking to?

60100:45:56,052 --> 00:45:58,387

The police. -The police!

60200:45:58,488 --> 00:46:00,188Now they'll takeyou seriously.

60300:46:00,289 --> 00:46:02,691Might as well writethat second ransom note.

604

00:46:02,792 --> 00:46:05,561Police'll be lookin'for you anyway.

60500:46:05,662 --> 00:46:07,596The police?

60600:46:07,697 --> 00:46:10,399I'm beginnin' to feel more likethe kidnappee than the kidnapper.

60700:46:10,500 --> 00:46:12,668I don't feel likeeither one of them.

60800:46:12,769 --> 00:46:15,537Because there isn't goingto be a second ransom note.


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49/116

the puddy cat?

62300:47:03,386 --> 00:47:06,321Joe, we're workin'on the money.

62400:47:06,423 --> 00:47:08,858I hope so. We wouldn'twant the computer

62500:47:08,859 --> 00:47:11,293to blow a fuse,would we, Freddie?

62600:47:11,394 --> 00:47:13,829No, we wouldn't.

62700:47:13,930 --> 00:47:16,965Buffalo, eh? -What?

62800:47:17,066 --> 00:47:19,234Duke tells meyou're from buffalo.

62900:47:20,637 --> 00:47:21,537Oh, yes.

63000:47:21,638 --> 00:47:23,972You happen to know

a cousin of mine

63100:47:24,073 --> 00:47:26,708By the name ofFrankie Longtooth?

63200:47:26,810 --> 00:47:30,078No, I don't thinkso. -That's funny.

633

00:47:30,179 --> 00:47:33,949Frankie Longtooth is a veryprominent citizen in buffalo.

63400:47:34,050 --> 00:47:37,385Look, Joe, you'vegot my word for it.

635


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00:47:37,487 --> 00:47:40,989You'll get yourmoney, all $9,000.

63600:47:43,893 --> 00:47:47,830Eleven thousand?-Clickety-click.

63700:47:48,765 --> 00:47:50,83348 hours, Duke.

63800:47:52,902 --> 00:47:58,306I think we'd better makethat 47 hours and 55 minutes.

63900:48:00,743 --> 00:48:02,878Clickety-click.

64000:48:08,317 --> 00:48:10,318

Sh... -What arewe gonna do, Duke?

64100:48:10,419 --> 00:48:13,154I'll tell ya what we'regonna do. We're gonna...

64200:48:13,255 --> 00:48:14,656Write that second ransom note,

643

00:48:14,757 --> 00:48:17,459That's what we're gonna do.

64400:48:20,296 --> 00:48:21,997Harry, you guysare supposed to be

64500:48:22,098 --> 00:48:23,999The best crimelab in the state.

64600:48:24,100 --> 00:48:25,400Sergeant turner?

64700:48:25,502 --> 00:48:28,269I know it's a tape Mark.What about it? What kind?

648


51/116

00:48:28,371 --> 00:48:29,605Sergeant turner?

64900:48:29,706 --> 00:48:31,740Shh. All right.Stay on it, will ya?

65000:48:31,841 --> 00:48:33,208Sergeant turner.

65100:48:33,309 --> 00:48:36,211I have waited five longyears for that guy to surface.

65200:48:36,312 --> 00:48:39,147It isn't often a man getsa second Chance like this.

65300:48:39,248 --> 00:48:41,950

I tell you there is no wayhe's gonna escape me this time.

65400:48:42,051 --> 00:48:44,252There may be one way. -How?

65500:48:44,353 --> 00:48:45,821We're off the case. -Off?

65600:48:45,922 --> 00:48:47,389

Off. -Off.

65700:48:47,490 --> 00:48:50,425I got a kidnapping for you.-What about the safecracker?

65800:48:50,527 --> 00:48:52,861The children of JW Osborne.I want you two there.

659

00:48:52,962 --> 00:48:54,329But my... -Immediately.

66000:48:54,430 --> 00:48:56,565You're expected.Here's the address.

66100:48:56,666 --> 00:48:59,167


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Go. -Yes, sir.

66200:48:59,268 --> 00:49:02,771And Max, this is no phantomsafecracker you're playing with.

66300:49:02,872 --> 00:49:05,974These are dangerous men,so proceed cautiously.

66400:49:06,075 --> 00:49:09,011And Max, be tactful.

66500:49:09,111 --> 00:49:13,181You're going to have a nervous,worried grandfather on your hands.

66600:49:18,521 --> 00:49:21,456Mr. Osborne, the police are

here about Tracy and Jay.

66700:49:23,225 --> 00:49:26,762There, sir Winston. They haven'tfound them already, have they?

66800:49:26,863 --> 00:49:28,797No, sir. -Oh, thank goodness.

66900:49:28,898 --> 00:49:30,666

Once the strong arm ofthe law starts muscling

67000:49:30,667 --> 00:49:32,434us around, it'll be"do this, do that."

67100:49:32,535 --> 00:49:34,937They'll have us paying that ransom,and you know what that means.

67200:49:35,038 --> 00:49:36,572I do, sir.

67300:49:36,673 --> 00:49:40,075Well, it was a splendid littlevacation while it lasted.

674


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00:49:40,176 --> 00:49:42,911Send them in.

67500:49:45,281 --> 00:49:47,883this way, sergeant.

67600:49:47,984 --> 00:49:52,854Mr. Osborne, sergeant turnerhere. Detective Longnecker.

67700:49:52,956 --> 00:49:55,156Gentlemen. -Thisis a nasty business.

67800:49:55,257 --> 00:49:57,793We know what you'regoing through,

67900:49:57,894 --> 00:50:00,028

But we do have a way ofhandling these things.

68000:50:00,129 --> 00:50:02,297Now, I know you'regonna argue with me,

68100:50:02,398 --> 00:50:05,467But what we want you todo is absolutely nothing.

68200:50:09,238 --> 00:50:10,672Nothing?

68300:50:10,773 --> 00:50:12,340That's right. Ignore the note.

68400:50:12,441 --> 00:50:15,276No contact. Noransom. Nothing.

68500:50:15,377 --> 00:50:18,279It's what we call our "projectedlow-profile procedure."

68600:50:18,380 --> 00:50:22,350Longnecker. -In our kidnappingstudies at the academy, we found...


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68700:50:22,451 --> 00:50:25,721We'll be intouch, Mr. Osborne.

68800:50:25,822 --> 00:50:28,690Meantime, try to relax, sir.

68900:50:28,791 --> 00:50:31,960Rest assured, Mr. Osborne.We're right on top of it.

69000:50:41,070 --> 00:50:42,470Jameson.

69100:50:42,571 --> 00:50:46,274Now that the police are "righton top of it", to coin a phrase...

692

00:50:46,375 --> 00:50:49,244We wouldn't want to interferein their little investigation.

69300:50:49,345 --> 00:50:51,113It would be positivelyinsulting to tell

69400:50:51,114 --> 00:50:52,881them where the childrenare, wouldn't it?

69500:50:52,982 --> 00:50:54,983Oh, most definitely, sir.

69600:50:55,084 --> 00:50:57,019You've just earnedyourself another bonus.

69700:51:01,490 --> 00:51:03,424What are you doing?

-Opening your safe.

69800:51:03,526 --> 00:51:05,560You're what?

69900:51:05,662 --> 00:51:08,697Just one more tumbler to go.


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70000:51:08,798 --> 00:51:12,367Oh, I figured out what everythingwas for. It's rather easy.

70100:51:12,468 --> 00:51:14,903But you...

70200:51:16,005 --> 00:51:18,740Sure. Safecrackin's a cinch.

70300:51:18,841 --> 00:51:21,209Are you going tomail the ransom note?

70400:51:21,310 --> 00:51:24,646You just go onplayin' with the safe

705

00:51:24,747 --> 00:51:26,314And stay out of trouble.

70600:51:28,484 --> 00:51:30,485Duke! -Are you finishedpasting up the note?

70700:51:30,586 --> 00:51:32,487A-a-almost.Duke, we're on TV.

70800:51:32,588 --> 00:51:35,323please, please, please.One question at a time.

70900:51:35,424 --> 00:51:37,192with just a phonecall to go on,

71000:51:37,293 --> 00:51:39,161How do you expect

to crack the case?

71100:51:39,261 --> 00:51:41,963We've only been on the case afew hours. Easy there, fella.

71200:51:42,065 --> 00:51:44,399We'll have to wait and


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see what tomorrow brings.

71300:51:44,500 --> 00:51:47,468haven't you made that "tomorrow"speech a few other times, sergeant?

71400:51:47,570 --> 00:51:49,838turner!

71500:51:49,939 --> 00:51:52,708...Like with the phantomsafecracker a few years ago?

71600:51:52,809 --> 00:51:54,710You got a good memory, Sandy.

71700:51:54,811 --> 00:51:57,713Duke, is that the Guy you've beengivin' the slip to all these years?

71800:51:57,814 --> 00:51:59,848Yeah. I've neverseen him before.

71900:51:59,949 --> 00:52:03,885Good thing TV isn't two-way.He'd be lookin' right at ya.

72000:52:03,986 --> 00:52:06,054

Eventually I willcatch that safecracker,

72100:52:06,155 --> 00:52:09,191But at the moment, there aretwo kids and $100,000 at stake.

72200:52:09,291 --> 00:52:13,92975. I reduced itfrom 100,000 to 75.

72300:52:14,030 --> 00:52:16,198Sort of like aclearance sale, huh?

72400:52:16,298 --> 00:52:18,033Anything to unload those kids.

725


57/116

00:52:20,603 --> 00:52:23,972If turner's on this, we gottamove fast. Where's that note?

72600:52:24,073 --> 00:52:25,774you're kinda wearin' it.

72700:52:25,875 --> 00:52:28,343What?

72800:52:30,947 --> 00:52:32,447Where's the envelope?

72900:52:32,548 --> 00:52:35,450I didn't finish the noteyet. I didn't put the date on.

73000:52:35,551 --> 00:52:38,153It's fine. It's just fine.

73100:52:38,254 --> 00:52:40,321I'll be back in about an hour.

73200:52:40,422 --> 00:52:42,690An hour, just tomail a ransom note?

73300:52:42,792 --> 00:52:44,109I don't wanna mail it

in the neighborhood.

73400:52:44,110 --> 00:52:45,426Can I go with ya?

73500:52:45,527 --> 00:52:48,163'course not. With the policelookin' all over for those kids,

73600:52:48,264 --> 00:52:49,898

Somebody's gotta watch 'em.

73700:52:49,999 --> 00:52:52,768Why do I always getthe dangerous part?

73800:52:52,869 --> 00:52:55,904What can be dangerous about


58/116

taking care of a couple of kids?

73900:52:56,005 --> 00:52:58,974Hey, is this real dynamite?

74000:52:59,075 --> 00:53:02,343Give me that anddon't throw... Ah!

74100:53:06,082 --> 00:53:08,383Well, is it?

74200:53:10,519 --> 00:53:13,922You stay out of oursupplies. You hear me?

74300:53:14,023 --> 00:53:16,691Well, Duster and I havenothing to do. We're bored.

74400:53:16,793 --> 00:53:18,626When your sister'sthrough playin' in there,

74500:53:18,727 --> 00:53:22,497Why don't you go on in and tryopening up my safe with my tools?

74600:53:22,598 --> 00:53:26,434

No, thanks. I'drather use dynamite.

74700:53:26,535 --> 00:53:28,436Duke, can I pleasemail the ransom note?

74800:53:28,537 --> 00:53:32,373No. You stay hereand keep 'em busy.

74900:53:34,610 --> 00:53:37,846Well? -Well, what?

75000:53:37,947 --> 00:53:40,048He said you wereto keep me busy.

751


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00:53:45,087 --> 00:53:50,292I'll tell ya what. I'll give yayour choice: Old maid or go fish.

75200:53:50,392 --> 00:53:54,229I hate cards. -What then?

75300:53:54,330 --> 00:53:56,464I got it. Judo.

75400:53:56,565 --> 00:54:00,035I don't know anythingabout judo. -Well, I do.

75500:54:00,136 --> 00:54:02,938Duster, you sit rightthere and watch this.

75600:54:03,039 --> 00:54:05,606

come on, Jay, thatwouldn't be fair.

75700:54:05,708 --> 00:54:07,742A man like me againsta fella like you...

75800:54:07,844 --> 00:54:10,545C'mon, two falls outta three.

759

00:54:10,646 --> 00:54:13,215Grab my wrist.

76000:54:20,723 --> 00:54:24,459ha-rah!

76100:54:30,933 --> 00:54:35,470You're right. You don'tknow anything about judo.

762

00:54:38,841 --> 00:54:41,309I have a feelingI'm gonna learn.

76300:54:41,410 --> 00:54:44,346Well, the note's in the mail.

76400:54:44,446 --> 00:54:46,714


60/116

hi, Duke.

76500:54:50,786 --> 00:54:53,188Don't tell me.Charades, right?

76600:54:53,289 --> 00:54:56,591You're a pretzel.- my first judo lesson.

76700:54:56,692 --> 00:55:00,362Judo? Oh, Bert.

76800:55:00,462 --> 00:55:04,866Duke, you wouldn't wanna sendanother ransom note, would ya?

76900:55:04,967 --> 00:55:08,870And lower it to $50,000. Before Jay

comes back with lesson number two.

77000:55:08,971 --> 00:55:10,906Back? Back from where?

77100:55:11,007 --> 00:55:12,874He went out toget some liniment.

77200:55:12,975 --> 00:55:15,777

How long's he been gone?

77300:55:15,878 --> 00:55:17,412Can you see my watch?

77400:55:17,513 --> 00:55:19,347You mean you letthose kids outta here

77500:55:19,448 --> 00:55:23,318

When we're this close to gettingthat computer off of our back?

77600:55:26,188 --> 00:55:29,324I'm looking for a Mr.Duke and a Mr. Bert.

77700:55:33,396 --> 00:55:35,730


61/116

We have the childrendown at the station.

77800:55:35,831 --> 00:55:38,766I'm going to have to ask yougentlemen to come with me.

77900:55:38,867 --> 00:55:42,170Well, gentlemen, I'm afraidyou're in a little trouble.

78000:55:42,271 --> 00:55:44,105But, sergeant, if Icould just explain.

78100:55:44,206 --> 00:55:45,840You've been ID'ed by the kids.

78200:55:45,942 --> 00:55:48,410

It was the girl'sfault. It was her idea.

78300:55:48,510 --> 00:55:50,478That's right. -We didn'twant any part of it.

78400:55:50,579 --> 00:55:51,446No, we had...

785

00:55:51,547 --> 00:55:53,514It's too late now.The law's the law.

78600:55:53,615 --> 00:55:56,751Sure, the law's the law. An eyefor an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

78700:55:56,852 --> 00:55:59,720If you've got an animal,you've gotta have a license.

78800:55:59,822 --> 00:56:01,522But there's sucha thing as mercy...

78900:56:01,623 --> 00:56:04,225And a right to stand before thebar of Justice and say "animal"!


62/116

79000:56:04,327 --> 00:56:06,761Animal? License?Animal license?

79100:56:06,862 --> 00:56:08,496That's what we'rehere for, right?

79200:56:08,597 --> 00:56:09,797Certainly. -Right!

79300:56:09,898 --> 00:56:12,200uncle Duke, uncle Bert, hi.

79400:56:12,301 --> 00:56:15,270We lost Duster on the wayhome, but then we found him.

79500:56:15,371 --> 00:56:16,771Sure.

79600:56:16,872 --> 00:56:18,573Well, I guess thatabout wraps it up, right?

79700:56:18,674 --> 00:56:21,309Not quite. $2.00for the license.

79800:56:21,410 --> 00:56:23,644$2. Oo. Yes, ofcourse, certainly.

79900:56:28,050 --> 00:56:30,818I don't... Ihaven't got... Oh.

80000:56:33,289 --> 00:56:34,990

there we go.

80100:56:35,091 --> 00:56:37,292And a form tofill out. -Form.

80200:56:37,393 --> 00:56:39,294Mind if we take it


63/116

home and fill it out?

80300:56:39,395 --> 00:56:41,429Suit yourself.-Thank you very much.

80400:56:41,530 --> 00:56:43,498I'll check on that M.O.Right now, sergeant turner.

80500:56:43,599 --> 00:56:47,168On second thought, I thinkI'll fill it out right here.

80600:56:47,269 --> 00:56:50,838Okay, Benson. Turn 'em over.

80700:56:50,939 --> 00:56:54,075I know you guys got fingerprints

off the safe at the airport.

80800:56:54,176 --> 00:56:57,512I thought you were offthat case, you old bulldog.

80900:56:57,613 --> 00:57:00,448I'll be off it when I seethat safecracker behind bars.

810

00:57:00,549 --> 00:57:02,283Excuse me.-Perfectly all right.

81100:57:02,385 --> 00:57:03,651Anything breakon the kidnapping?

81200:57:03,752 --> 00:57:05,387Not yet. We don'thave any pictures.

81300:57:05,488 --> 00:57:07,522All we know isa couple of kids.

81400:57:07,623 --> 00:57:10,525Girl about her age,boy about his age.


64/116

81500:57:10,626 --> 00:57:13,094Probably in the handsof a couple of hoodlums.

81600:57:13,195 --> 00:57:15,830Isn't that terrible,uncle Duke and uncle Bert?

81700:57:15,931 --> 00:57:19,267Two kids our age, in thehands of a couple of hoodlums.

81800:57:19,368 --> 00:57:20,368Yeah, it's terrible.

81900:57:20,469 --> 00:57:22,103Here are the prints.They're smudgy.

82000:57:22,204 --> 00:57:24,672They'll do.Believe me, Benson.

82100:57:24,773 --> 00:57:26,707Those kidnappersand that safecracker

82200:57:26,808 --> 00:57:29,244

Aren't slipping throughmy fingers this time.

82300:57:29,345 --> 00:57:31,812Excuse me.-Perfectly all right.

82400:57:35,451 --> 00:57:38,453Thank you, sergeant.Come on, uncle Bert.

82500:57:52,300 --> 00:57:54,301Jay, you gonna beout of there soon?

82600:57:54,402 --> 00:57:55,402In just a minute.

827


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00:57:55,504 --> 00:57:58,205I'm brushing Duster's teeth.

82800:58:00,542 --> 00:58:03,377Brushing a skunk's teeth.

82900:58:03,478 --> 00:58:05,713Hey, whosetoothbrush you using?

83000:58:05,814 --> 00:58:07,749Never mind, never mind.I don't wanna know.

83100:58:08,550 --> 00:58:11,185well?

83200:58:12,287 --> 00:58:14,555Well, the third ransom

note is on its way.

83300:58:14,657 --> 00:58:16,257The rest is up to grandpa.

83400:58:16,358 --> 00:58:19,927After a day like today, I suream glad we lowered it to 50 g's.

83500:58:20,029 --> 00:58:23,364

After a day like today,I lowered it to 30.

83600:58:24,833 --> 00:58:27,869You know, though, they're notreally bad kids to have around.

83700:58:27,970 --> 00:58:30,972If you've gothospitalization. -Yeah, right.

83800:58:33,742 --> 00:58:35,509What are you doing?

83900:58:35,610 --> 00:58:40,581Do you realize anybody could walkin here... The police, big Joe.

840


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00:58:40,683 --> 00:58:42,550The security here is lousy.

84100:58:42,651 --> 00:58:45,953What would you suggest? A nestof rattlesnakes at the front door?

84200:58:46,055 --> 00:58:48,289Not a bad idea. I'llput that on my list.

84300:58:48,390 --> 00:58:50,391List? What list? What is this?

84400:58:50,492 --> 00:58:54,562I got a bunch of things here thatcould make this place foolproof.

84500:58:54,663 --> 00:58:55,797

If you take a rope...

84600:58:55,898 --> 00:58:57,598I thought I toldyou to take a bath.

84700:58:57,700 --> 00:59:00,001I was too busy thinking.And you take it...

848

00:59:00,102 --> 00:59:03,037Well, we are taking you toyour grandfather's clean.

84900:59:03,138 --> 00:59:04,972But we're going to Hong Kong.

85000:59:08,711 --> 00:59:10,211I've got dinner.

851

00:59:11,580 --> 00:59:15,516Or do I? My nose tellsme this is better.

85200:59:15,617 --> 00:59:18,219mmm, that smellsterrific. What is it?

853


67/116

00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,188Chili relleno.Maria's special recipe.

85400:59:20,288 --> 00:59:22,256Maria. That your mother?

85500:59:22,357 --> 00:59:24,225Uh-uh. Our maid.She's Mexican.

85600:59:24,326 --> 00:59:26,293Mexican, huh?

85700:59:26,394 --> 00:59:28,629What are these funny-lookinglittle hamburgers here?

85800:59:28,731 --> 00:59:31,099

Swedish meatballs. -Swedish?

85900:59:31,200 --> 00:59:32,967That Mariacertainly got around.

86000:59:33,068 --> 00:59:36,704They were Hildas recipe.-Hilda. That's another maid?

861

00:59:36,805 --> 00:59:39,340Uh-huh.

86200:59:39,441 --> 00:59:43,644Sounds like you spend anawful lot of time with maids.

86300:59:43,746 --> 00:59:45,913Mother's the headof a magazine.

86400:59:46,014 --> 00:59:50,752Oh, well, I see.I didn't know that.

86500:59:50,853 --> 00:59:54,255And that keeps her very busy.

866


68/116

00:59:55,257 --> 00:59:58,659Yeah, su-sure, sure.I can understand that.

86701:00:00,129 --> 01:00:02,296Hope you like yourbaked apples cinnamon.

86801:00:02,397 --> 01:00:04,565Baked apples withcinnamon? mmm.

86901:00:04,666 --> 01:00:06,333they're my favorite.

87001:00:06,434 --> 01:00:07,969I know. Bert told me.

87101:00:08,070 --> 01:00:10,171

oh, he did, did he?

87201:00:10,272 --> 01:00:12,573I've been doing alittle research myself,

87301:00:12,674 --> 01:00:18,479And Jay tells me that youare a perfect size eight.

874

01:00:18,580 --> 01:00:21,348Is that right?

87501:00:24,452 --> 01:00:26,788For me? -Mm.

87601:00:31,660 --> 01:00:33,861I love it.

87701:00:33,962 --> 01:00:38,099

And green's my favorite color.Did Jay tell you that too?

87801:00:38,200 --> 01:00:42,069No. Just a guess.

87901:00:45,307 --> 01:00:48,542Well, that was a pretty


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70/116

89201:01:34,489 --> 01:01:36,490Covering up, like there'snothing on his mind.

89301:01:36,591 --> 01:01:38,392Well, well, and top ofthe morning to both of you.

89401:01:38,493 --> 01:01:40,261What brings youtwo around so early?

89501:01:40,362 --> 01:01:42,663The ransom note.-The ransom note?

89601:01:42,764 --> 01:01:44,732I gave it to youyesterday. -The new one.

89701:01:44,833 --> 01:01:46,234Your man called us aboutit over an hour ago.

89801:01:46,335 --> 01:01:48,702Oh, forgive me. I've had somany lately, I get muddled.

89901:01:48,803 --> 01:01:51,839

We're losing over 20,000cells a day, you know.

90001:01:52,807 --> 01:01:54,475What does it say?

90101:01:54,576 --> 01:01:57,011We'll find out when weget it open, won't we?

902

01:01:57,112 --> 01:02:00,214If I was a betting man, Iwouldn't mind risking a ten-spot

90301:02:00,315 --> 01:02:04,919They've come downto, um, 35,000 by now.

904


71/116

01:02:06,154 --> 01:02:10,024Uh-oh, missed it byfive. They're down to 30.

90501:02:10,125 --> 01:02:13,794I must say, your "do nothing"plan is working beautifully.

90601:02:13,896 --> 01:02:17,331Uh, mind if I takethat note, Mr. Osborne?

90701:02:17,432 --> 01:02:21,668By all means. Anything I canto help. Keep up the good work.

90801:02:21,770 --> 01:02:24,138I want you to know, sir,you have an admirer here.

90901:02:24,239 --> 01:02:26,240Longnecker.

91001:02:36,184 --> 01:02:37,285Fore.

91101:02:37,386 --> 01:02:41,488"4:00, wharf 33, sanPedro. Be there in person."

91201:02:41,589 --> 01:02:43,224Sir, I've been givingthis case a lot of thought,

91301:02:43,325 --> 01:02:45,092And I have a theory, if I may.

91401:02:45,193 --> 01:02:47,861I had a course in the law ofprobability at the academy.

91501:02:47,963 --> 01:02:51,132Fact: The kidnapper and thesafecracker were at the airport

91601:02:51,233 --> 01:02:53,167On the very samenight at the same hour.


72/116

91701:02:53,268 --> 01:02:56,237Fact: They both disappearedat precisely the same instant.

91801:02:56,338 --> 01:02:58,973Fact: Neither one of themhas been seen to this moment.

91901:02:59,074 --> 01:03:04,445Query: Could the safecracker and thekidnapper be one and the same person?

92001:03:04,546 --> 01:03:08,215Longnecker, a safecrackeris a safecracker,

92101:03:08,317 --> 01:03:10,051And a kidnapper

is a kidnapper,

92201:03:10,152 --> 01:03:12,453And I wish I could say apoliceman was a policeman.

92301:03:12,554 --> 01:03:13,988Am I confusing you?

92401:03:14,089 --> 01:03:16,590

I thought it would be some usefulinformation in solving the case.

92501:03:16,691 --> 01:03:18,826I have someuseful information.

92601:03:18,927 --> 01:03:23,097Our "do nothing" plan is aboutto become a "do something" plan.

92701:03:23,832 --> 01:03:26,533Move! -Oh, yeah.

92801:03:31,473 --> 01:03:34,041Do you have the keys, sir?

92901:03:34,142 --> 01:03:35,809


73/116

Uh-huh,uh-huh.

93001:03:35,910 --> 01:03:40,514Well, what time does the6:30 flight get to Honolulu?

93101:03:40,615 --> 01:03:44,085And then when wouldwe get to Hong Kong?

93201:03:44,186 --> 01:03:47,121I'd like to make areservation for two,

93301:03:47,222 --> 01:03:49,223Nancy Adams andher brother, John.

934

01:03:49,324 --> 01:03:50,791I thought we were going.

93501:03:50,892 --> 01:03:54,928Shh! We can't give out our realname with people looking for us.

93601:03:56,431 --> 01:04:00,334We'll pay for the ticketswhen we get there, in cash.

93701:04:01,569 --> 01:04:04,705Well, it's allset. -So's this.

93801:04:07,742 --> 01:04:09,210What are you doing up there?

93901:04:09,311 --> 01:04:12,113Just working on a coupleof inventions to protect us.

94001:04:12,214 --> 01:04:13,481Protect us?

94101:04:13,581 --> 01:04:15,849If anybody gets in,they'll never get out.


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94201:04:15,950 --> 01:04:16,884Oh, yeah?

94301:04:16,985 --> 01:04:19,253Oh, Duke! Everything's set.

94401:04:19,354 --> 01:04:22,689Got us some great wheels. Bo Beasleybrought his car in for repairs.

94501:04:22,790 --> 01:04:25,159Okay, let's... -I calledthe airlines, Duke.

94601:04:25,260 --> 01:04:29,497If you come back with the money by5:00, we can make the 6:30 flight.

947

01:04:29,597 --> 01:04:31,532Yeah.

94801:04:31,633 --> 01:04:35,136If we don't get moving, nobody'sgoing to be going anywhere. Come on.

94901:04:38,640 --> 01:04:41,909Could that possiblybe you, big Joe?

95001:04:42,010 --> 01:04:44,245it's him.

95101:04:46,148 --> 01:04:48,916Computer just reminded me,Duke. Two and a half hours.

95201:04:49,017 --> 01:04:53,654We'll have your $11,000...

95301:04:55,390 --> 01:04:59,860You'll get your $13,000by then, big Joe.

95401:04:59,961 --> 01:05:01,695That's good, Duke.

955


75/116

01:05:04,799 --> 01:05:08,635Are you sure that you've neverheard of my cousin Frankie Longtooth?

95601:05:08,736 --> 01:05:10,271No, sir.

95701:05:10,372 --> 01:05:13,974Hmm. Maybe you would knowhim by his legitimate name.

95801:05:14,076 --> 01:05:16,177John Smith?

95901:05:19,214 --> 01:05:22,349Huh, that's funny.

96001:05:22,451 --> 01:05:24,985Very prominent in buffalo.

96101:05:26,688 --> 01:05:27,955Seen your mother lately?

96201:05:28,056 --> 01:05:30,524oh, no. No. Mom's up in, uh...

96301:05:30,625 --> 01:05:32,426'member, I told you?

96401:05:32,527 --> 01:05:34,395I thought maybe you forgot.

96501:05:34,496 --> 01:05:38,199I didn't forget. Me andthe computer never forget.

96601:05:38,300 --> 01:05:40,534Uh-uh.

96701:05:49,043 --> 01:05:51,212Oh, boy. One of these days...

96801:05:55,817 --> 01:05:57,784Come on. Let's go.

96901:05:57,885 --> 01:05:59,853


76/116

Now, you kids remainquiet and hidden,

97001:05:59,954 --> 01:06:02,623And don't open that doorfor anybody, you hear?

97101:06:02,724 --> 01:06:05,359I told you. You havenothing to worry about.

97201:06:05,460 --> 01:06:08,295Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on.-Oh, I gotta get my jacket.

97301:06:08,396 --> 01:06:10,464I have the wholeapartment protected.

974

01:06:10,565 --> 01:06:13,734Oh, sure. Well, it's one thingto know something about judo,

97501:06:13,835 --> 01:06:16,237But if somebody goespushin' in that door...

97601:06:21,143 --> 01:06:23,877Boy! It works great!

97701:06:23,978 --> 01:06:29,683Between you and the pencil, thatgrandfather of yours better be there.

97801:06:37,559 --> 01:06:39,160Let's go.

97901:06:48,703 --> 01:06:51,338Mr. Osborne, thechildren's mother's here.

98001:06:52,073 --> 01:06:53,974Carolyn, here?

98101:06:54,075 --> 01:06:57,811Carolyn, my dear. Howdid... -How did I find out?


77/116

98201:06:57,912 --> 01:07:01,048I got a wire in Hong Kong fromthe police. That's how I found out.

98301:07:01,149 --> 01:07:02,916Have you heardfrom Tracy and Jay?

98401:07:03,017 --> 01:07:06,520Not exactly, but Iassure you, they're fine.

98501:07:06,621 --> 01:07:09,723They're fine! In the handsof kidnappers, they're fine.

98601:07:09,824 --> 01:07:11,758Well, we have a rendezvouswith them in an hour.

98701:07:11,859 --> 01:07:13,927Then what are westanding around here for?

98801:07:14,028 --> 01:07:17,264It's the police, Carolyn.The police, it's their idea.

98901:07:17,365 --> 01:07:19,700

They've been handling thecase beautifully, haven't they?

99001:07:20,968 --> 01:07:23,337They feel that if wehand over the ransom,

99101:07:23,438 --> 01:07:25,839It would be badfor their plans.

99201:07:25,940 --> 01:07:27,808Their plans!

99301:07:27,909 --> 01:07:30,211I don't believe this.

99401:07:30,312 --> 01:07:34,014


78/116

It's fine to be cold andcalculating when you're the police,

99501:07:34,115 --> 01:07:36,350But you're their grandfather!

99601:07:36,451 --> 01:07:38,952How did they get kidnappedin the first place?

99701:07:39,053 --> 01:07:41,622It happened rather suddenly...-Where's that meeting place?

99801:07:41,723 --> 01:07:44,124I'm going there. -Waita minute. Hold it...

99901:07:44,226 --> 01:07:45,726

I'll drive you there.

100001:07:45,827 --> 01:07:48,629We need some money. Jameson, youstay here in case the police call.

100101:07:48,730 --> 01:07:51,998I'll wait in thecar. Please hurry.

1002

01:07:52,100 --> 01:07:55,102I beg your pardon, but wouldn'tit be simpler to call Peter

100301:07:55,203 --> 01:07:58,606And have him pick up the childrenrather than pay the ransom?

100401:07:58,707 --> 01:08:01,174If my daughter-in-law discovered Iknew the whereabouts of the children,

100501:08:01,276 --> 01:08:03,644It would hardly cement ourbudding relationship, would it?

100601:08:03,745 --> 01:08:05,412You do have a point, sir.


79/116

100701:08:05,513 --> 01:08:07,081Wouldn't you say it'sworth 10 or 15,000

100801:08:07,082 --> 01:08:08,649to water thatflowering friendship?

100901:08:08,750 --> 01:08:09,916I do indeed, sir.

101001:08:10,017 --> 01:08:12,085Good thinking, Jameson.You've just earned yourself...

101101:08:12,186 --> 01:08:14,988Another bonus. Thankyou very much, sir.

101201:08:22,631 --> 01:08:24,831The kids in Duke's apartment!

101301:08:24,932 --> 01:08:26,900Buffalo!

101401:08:27,001 --> 01:08:30,671And me and the computer had Bertand Duke figured for two-bit hoods.

101501:08:30,772 --> 01:08:33,173They got the caperof the year goin'.

101601:08:33,275 --> 01:08:37,344"it is rumored that the ransomdemand is almost $100,000..."

101701:08:39,648 --> 01:08:42,549One hundred thousand

dollars. That's chicken feed.

101801:08:42,651 --> 01:08:46,487They are two-bit hoods. Oldman Osbornes are worth millions.

101901:08:46,588 --> 01:08:50,624Freddie, I think it's time


80/116


81/116

We don't know whatthey're driving, Henderson.

103301:09:52,721 --> 01:09:54,855Anything at all thatapproaches, check in.

103401:09:54,956 --> 01:09:59,059right, sir. Don't worry.I'm perched like an eagle.

103501:09:59,160 --> 01:10:01,962Can't miss a thingfrom up here. Out.

103601:10:02,063 --> 01:10:04,865Oh, you're gonna lovethis trap, sergeant.

1037

01:10:04,966 --> 01:10:08,034I borrowed it from the oldspider-and-fly routine...

103801:10:08,135 --> 01:10:11,204We learned at the acad...uh, you know the place I mean.

103901:10:12,807 --> 01:10:16,309Are you trying to tell methis looks like J.W. Osborne?

104001:10:16,411 --> 01:10:18,746Sir, you're the image.

104101:10:18,847 --> 01:10:20,914It's ridiculous.-Oh, but, sir!

104201:10:21,015 --> 01:10:23,751I can't see. I can't breathe.

And there's no room for my nose!

104301:10:23,852 --> 01:10:27,755Sir, it's a work of art. Departmentfour was working on this all night.

104401:10:27,856 --> 01:10:38,549Now, why don't you


82/116


83/116

Suspicious car headedfor our position.

105801:11:28,082 --> 01:11:29,249I heard it.

105901:11:29,350 --> 01:11:31,117Stay alert.

106001:11:31,218 --> 01:11:33,754This must be them, sir.

106101:11:36,390 --> 01:11:38,892There's a littlered car comin'.

106201:11:38,993 --> 01:11:41,795There they are.

106301:11:46,968 --> 01:11:49,636Have you got thestocking masks?

106401:11:49,737 --> 01:11:51,505No, but I got these.

106501:11:54,876 --> 01:11:58,612I'm the clown, andyou're the big, bad wolf.

106601:12:02,584 --> 01:12:06,052All right. You're the clown,and I'm the big, bad wolf.

106701:12:30,077 --> 01:12:31,979They're here,sir. They're here.

106801:12:32,079 --> 01:12:35,916

Keep talking to me.I can't see anything.

106901:12:48,262 --> 01:12:52,666That, unless I'mmistaken, is grandpa.

107001:12:52,767 --> 01:12:55,468


84/116

Longnecker, I can'tsee out of this thing!

107101:12:57,739 --> 01:13:01,542All right. Keepyour eyes peeled.

107201:13:01,643 --> 01:13:04,611There are two fellas, sir. Oneof them is getting out right now.

107301:13:04,712 --> 01:13:06,813He's com... he'scoming towards you, sir.

107401:13:06,915 --> 01:13:09,016They-they seem tobe wearing masks.

1075

01:13:09,116 --> 01:13:12,485Yes, sir, it's masks of thecommon Halloween variety, sir.

107601:13:16,724 --> 01:13:19,492It's another limousine, sir.

107701:13:23,431 --> 01:13:27,133Yipe. Sir, it's J.W. Osborne.

1078

01:13:36,711 --> 01:13:39,345Afternoon, sergeant turner.

107901:13:39,447 --> 01:13:41,014There's two grandfathers!

108001:13:41,115 --> 01:13:42,716It's a trap!

108101:13:42,817 --> 01:13:45,018

Move!

108201:13:45,119 --> 01:13:48,354Stop!

108301:13:51,626 --> 01:13:53,359Longnecker, they'regetting away!


85/116

108401:13:53,461 --> 01:13:55,328Uh, red alert! Red alert!

108501:13:55,429 --> 01:13:58,531This is C.Q. To allunits. Red alert.

108601:13:58,633 --> 01:14:01,735Look!

108701:14:13,447 --> 01:14:15,482Carolyn!

108801:14:34,902 --> 01:14:37,370What? What... who are you?

108901:14:39,240 --> 01:14:41,141

I want to explain...- come on, sergeant.

109001:14:41,242 --> 01:14:43,276We'll get 'em.-Get 'em, you dummy?

109101:14:43,377 --> 01:14:45,612You haven't even got me.

1092

01:14:45,713 --> 01:14:48,682Hold this.

109301:14:48,783 --> 01:14:50,917That's not mine.

109401:14:51,019 --> 01:14:53,987We're taking your car.Longnecker, get in!

1095

01:14:54,088 --> 01:14:56,757call the C.P. And start planA.X., priority four west.

109601:14:56,858 --> 01:14:59,359Seal the grids as outlinedand be sure... - get in!

1097


86/116

01:14:59,460 --> 01:15:01,261Yes, sir.

109801:15:01,362 --> 01:15:04,397Something I must explain...- it's a police matter.

109901:15:04,498 --> 01:15:07,768Don't worry. We'll get him.

110001:15:07,869 --> 01:15:09,703That's what I'm afraid of.

110101:15:09,804 --> 01:15:12,039What are you doing here?-You've got my kids.

110201:15:12,140 --> 01:15:16,076That's what I'm doing here.

-Your kids? You're in Hong Kong.

110301:15:16,177 --> 01:15:18,879No, no, no. That'sher, all right.

110401:15:18,980 --> 01:15:22,149She and the kids have both got a wayof climbing into other people's cars.

1105

01:15:22,249 --> 01:15:25,218Where are my children? -Yourchildren are safe, go Osborne.

110601:15:25,319 --> 01:15:27,420Which is more than Ican say for us right now.

110701:15:27,521 --> 01:15:29,923If it's the money, you'llget it. We'll pay the ransom.

110801:15:30,024 --> 01:15:31,808Money? Well, that'sterrific. Except money

110901:15:31,809 --> 01:15:33,593doesn't seem to be allthat important right now.


87/116

111001:15:33,695 --> 01:15:38,065What do you mean? Are youthe kidnappers or aren't you?

111101:15:38,166 --> 01:15:40,967Well, sort of.

111201:15:41,069 --> 01:15:46,006Henderson, do you seethem? -I'm looking, sir.

111301:15:46,107 --> 01:15:49,009there they are. -Where?

111401:15:49,110 --> 01:15:53,847You've just passed 'em. -Youjust passed 'em. Turn around.

111501:16:08,930 --> 01:16:10,630Where'd they go?

111601:16:10,732 --> 01:16:14,634I don't understand this.You grab a couple of kids,

111701:16:14,736 --> 01:16:17,170You terrify everybody, andyou're "sort of" kidnappers?

111801:16:17,271 --> 01:16:19,606Well... - kidnappers haveresponsibility too, you know.

111901:16:19,707 --> 01:16:21,808Responsibility? -Yes, indeed.

112001:16:21,909 --> 01:16:23,810You're talkin' about

responsibility? You?

112101:16:23,911 --> 01:16:27,013What kind of a mother are you?You ran all over the world.

112201:16:27,115 --> 01:16:30,016I mean, you can't raise kids


88/116


89/116

01:17:52,700 --> 01:17:56,402That's right, even from a coupleof so-called, "sort of" kidnappers.

113601:17:56,503 --> 01:17:58,972What would you knowabout raising my children?

113701:17:59,073 --> 01:18:04,410Mrs. Osborne, we have just spentthree straight days with your kids.

113801:18:04,511 --> 01:18:07,580When was the lasttime you did the same?

113901:18:17,925 --> 01:18:22,095There they are! -Go!

1140

01:18:27,201 --> 01:18:29,336look out!

114101:18:47,121 --> 01:18:50,323Notify all units.

114201:18:50,42

no deposit, no return (1976)

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