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Issue Three2012

WAIKATO’S FREE STUDENT MAGAZINE

THE ARMAGEDDON ISSUE

Gucci is back!

Love him,hate him

C-ball takes on Southee

Armageddon: It’s either coming in

April or December Nexus Investigates

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ContentsFrom the Editor’s Desk

Student elections could learn from Skinny (and Kony). I don’t know about the rest of you but I am sick of hearing about “student apathy.” It seems every time someone does something that students should care about but don’t they blame it on the apathetic nature of the students these days. Why? Because if they actually said “students didn’t turn up because we are marketing hacks who thought we could captivate and pidgeon hole the whole student market with lame catch phrases and clichés,” then they would probably get fi red. Everyone seems so willing to say that students are indifferent or don’t care enough and that just seems a lazy and convenient excuse. I saw a bunch or excited and engaged students during O-week. They were playing skinny mobile soapy soccer without even thinking about those who were watching or whether it was “cool.” Then they showed up to the free busses in Toga’s and dressed for the 80s party. I spoke to a bunch of students who were excited at the prospect of getting Tiki Taane Tickets and another group who begged us to sell them student priced tickets to Soundscape hours after we had sold out. While we’re on the subject the 5,000 strong predominantly student crowd at Soundscape didn’t sound like they were suppressing emotions or showing indifference to much. They seemed to be enjoying themselves at a kick arse party. Don’t believe me? Ask the 25 cat loving grinches that complained that the noise was too loud (by the way shout out to the Waikato Times for picking the least newsworthy aspect of an event that brought life to an otherwise dull weekend, solid call). Maybe I’m crazy but none of that sounds like the actions of an apathetic student base. Some of you might say yes but apathy exists when trying to get students to care about environmental and social issues. That ain’t apathy. That is narcissism, an inspired bi-product culture that puts a camera in the face of any Kardashian or over tanned Italian and lets them talk about themselves once a week. You want people to care more about causes like the Rena and global poverty? Package them better. Nobody knew who Kony was a month ago and now he is out trending Beiber on twitter all because we saw a slick video that made us sit up and feel part of something. In a few weeks we are going to have an election for a student rep on University Council. Traditionally this has been the domain of the WSU president who is elected each year by the 1800 students who actually care enough to vote. For some reason the University has decided that those elections should now be separate from the University Council one and are going to go through the exercise of an election. I’d like to encourage every student to get out and vote. Over the next few weeks we will run a few ads maybe even publish details of the candidates but let’s make one thing clear from the outset if this election doesn’t get any more votes than the WSU one it isn’t because of you apathetic students. It isn’t because you don’t care enough, it’s because you don’t care about this and that isn’t your fault. If the University or the WSU wanted to really drive this election we would give you Togas a few pints and snap a photo as you vote so you can tag yourselves in the photo on Facebook while watching a 30 minute video with an ominous sound track explaining why elections are important. If nobody cares enough to do all that for you then maybe they are the apathetic ones.

How Saph Sees It 4 8 Ball 5 News 6 Lettuce 8 Sports Thoughts 10 Mr. Minty Fish 11 Hate It or Love it 13 Hipster Diary 14 Auteur House 15 Tangata Tumeke 16 It’s Not Easy Being Sam 17 Club Spotlight 18 W Card Competition 19 Apocalypse Now 20 Being a Fanboy 22 Vox Pops 24 On Campus 24 How To 25 Gig Guide 26 Puzzles 28 Cartoons 29 Hot Fuzz 31 Lick That Spoon 32 Half Baked with Mel 33 Interview with Shapeshifter 37 Quintessential Reading 38

CreditsDesign: Katrina McIntosh (design@nexusmag.co.nz)Advertising: Tony Arkell (ads@nexusmag.co.nz)Editor: James Raffan

ContributorsCourtney Q, Alix Higby, President Sapphire Gillard, First man Charles Gillard, members of the lollipop guild, Something Hip, Hoory Yeldizian, Dr. Richard Swainson, Sam ‘Sketti’ Taylor, Priscilla Ngatai, Nick Johnston, Mr. Minty Fish, Melanie Matthews, Constable Nick Sickelmore, Gucci, C-ball, Squiddy and the glorious indestructable 8 Ball.

Nexus is a member of theAotearoa Student PressAssociation (ASPA).

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATIONARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OFNEXUS PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, ANY OF OURADVERTISERS, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR ORANYONE IN PARTICULAR.

NexusGround Floor, Student Union Building, Gate One,University of Waikato, Knighton Road, Hamilton.Phone: 07 838 4653Email: editor@nexusmag.co.nzPostal: Private Bag 3059, Hamilton

4 Editorial

How Saph Sees It

As you may or may not know, student representation onuniversity council and other university committees iscurrently being reviewed. This review process is partlydue to the recent changes in legislation regarding VSMbut is also connected to a larger review of the university’scommittee structure. The proposed changes, which wehope will soon become available to the wider studentbody, both remove student representation from somecommittees and change how student representativesare elected for others. So how will this affect you as theaverage student and what forms of student representationare there?

1) WSU President and Board of DirectorsWe’re here to represent you! As a board, our aim is to actas independent, informed and principled representativeson any issues that affect our members and students atlarge. We’re here to make sure you remember your timeat the University of Waikato for all the right reasons.That includes representing students interests to ensurea student point of view is always considered and changesdon’t affect you, our students, negatively.BUT under the proposed new structure it will be harderfor the WSU to do this. Obviously, we’re talking to theuniversity about the proposed changes and will hopefullycome to a point where you receive the most effectiverepresentation possible – including your student unionbeing formally involved in university committees.

2) Council Student RepresentativeLast year the WSU president was the automatic studentrepresentative on council. Last year all students were ableto vote in the WSU election and students voted me your2012 WSU president. But this year, the university believesthat the new legislation means the election for the WSUpresident is no longer a legitimate election for the studentrepresentative on council. So you are going to be forced tovote soon. Over the next few weeks you will be bombardedwith information and asked to vote yet again for someoneto represent you. This student will then be expected to siton a number of committees within the university, givingup a hung amount of their time to represent you. That’sokay. Students should represent students’ needs.BUT how is this student going to be supported(emotionally/ fi nancially/administratively)? How isthis huge time commitment going to affect their study?How are they going to inform you of issues? How arethey going to get feedback from you? Obviously, I willbe contesting this election. I have a more than capableboard that support and collect information for me.I understood when running for the position of WSUpresident that the amount of study I could do would belimited and have enrolled accordingly. The WSU pays an

honorarium to help fi nancially support me and WSU hasa team of professional staff who help with administrationand collecting and disseminating information. TheWSU has the needed structures to ensure your studentrepresentative is supported effectively.

1) Class Representation SystemHow was your class reps chosen this semester? Were theycoerced into the job by the lecturer? Did someone dobin a friend because they thought it was funny? Did youconsider putting your hand up? Do you even know whatclass reps do or who’s your rep?

So what do these students do? According to the OHT youwere hopefully shown in class, your class representativesare “elected to liaise between the students in the paperand the teaching staff. Class Reps are there to helpmediate on any relevant issues, and to pass on anyacademic feedback at committee meetings.” So hopefullyyou selected wisely because these students are generallyyour fi rst point of call on academic matters. Anything elsethe WSU are your people!

Student representation, it’s important. Take it seriously.If you want a copy of the proposed changes to universitycommittees or just want to have a chat (as always) feel freeto fl ick me (or any of the WSU directors) an email.

Sapphire GillardEmail: president@wsu.org.nz

4 Editorial

How Saph Sees It

As you may or may not know, student representation on university council and other university committees is currently being reviewed. This review process is partly due to the recent changes in legislation regarding VSM but is also connected to a larger review of the university’s committee structure. The proposed changes, which we hope will soon become available to the wider student body, both remove student representation from some committees and change how student representatives are elected for others. So how will this affect you as the average student and what forms of student representation are there?

1) WSU President and Board of Directors We’re here to represent you! As a board, our aim is to act as independent, informed and principled representatives on any issues that affect our members and students at large. We’re here to make sure you remember your time at the University of Waikato for all the right reasons. That includes representing students interests to ensure a student point of view is always considered and changes don’t affect you, our students, negatively. BUT under the proposed new structure it will be harder for the WSU to do this. Obviously, we’re talking to the university about the proposed changes and will hopefully come to a point where you receive the most effective representation possible – including your student union being formally involved in university committees.

2) Council Student Representative Last year the WSU president was the automatic student representative on council. Last year all students were able to vote in the WSU election and students voted me your 2012 WSU president. But this year, the university believes that the new legislation means the election for the WSU president is no longer a legitimate election for the student representative on council. So you are going to be forced to vote soon. Over the next few weeks you will be bombarded with information and asked to vote yet again for someone to represent you. This student will then be expected to sit on a number of committees within the university, giving up a hung amount of their time to represent you. That’s okay. Students should represent students’ needs. BUT how is this student going to be supported (emotionally/ financially/administratively)? How is this huge time commitment going to affect their study? How are they going to inform you of issues? How are they going to get feedback from you? Obviously, I will be contesting this election. I have a more than capable board that support and collect information for me. I understood when running for the position of WSU president that the amount of study I could do would be limited and have enrolled accordingly. The WSU pays an

honorarium to help financially support me and WSU has a team of professional staff who help with administration and collecting and disseminating information. The WSU has the needed structures to ensure your student representative is supported effectively.

1) Class Representation System How was your class reps chosen this semester? Were they coerced into the job by the lecturer? Did someone dob in a friend because they thought it was funny? Did you consider putting your hand up? Do you even know what class reps do or who’s your rep?

So what do these students do? According to the OHT you were hopefully shown in class, your class representatives are “elected to liaise between the students in the paper and the teaching staff. Class Reps are there to help mediate on any relevant issues, and to pass on any academic feedback at committee meetings.” So hopefully you selected wisely because these students are generally your first point of call on academic matters. Anything else the WSU are your people!

Student representation, it’s important. Take it seriously. If you want a copy of the proposed changes to university committees or just want to have a chat (as always) feel free to flick me (or any of the WSU directors) an email.

Sapphire Gillard Email: president@wsu.org.nz

4 Opinion

Gems of Wisdom

Day one of o-week was insane. It was my first 15 hour day on campus which wasn’t in any way related to class and me procrastinating (Unlike those last nights in second year where I slept in the management school computer labs – those days were kinda lame, but absolutely necessary if you, like me, are yet to develop the time management skills and discipline needed to finish assignments more than 5minutes before they are due). Instead, day one of o-week was full on fun and sun. I, as a ginga, was amazed that I didn’t end the day as a beetroot (though a not so fortunate younger sister of mine did). But rather, my day ended after the first no fuss free bus trip into town. After which I bailed and left two of my amazing directors and general manager in charge of getting you guys in to and out of town safely – Aren’t those guys great? Sober til 4.00am getting you guys safely home all of o-week. I think they’re bloody amazing.

I hear the bus was rather exciting at times and even came with the odd show as well as ride – I wonder if my roster nights, Thursday and Saturday, will be the same? I expect I’ll meet a lot of you going to the 80s party on Thursday and Soundscape on Saturday. Hopefully you’ll be as pumped and full of energy as yesterday’s group were.

Now, I’m sitting in my office hearing the music and fun of o-week day two being and the rest of the week looks set to be just as fantastic as day one. Unfortunately, I will soon be back into meetings and study, but for this week at least everything should be fun and games and down on the green it sure is.

Once you read this it will be week two. The week where you remember that class is important. Hopefully, when rummaging through all that cool free stuff you were given during o-week, you’ll find your free WSU Student Wall Planner and make note of when all your assignments are due. Not to mention, you should check out Nexus and mark down the amazing gigs that are occurring over the next few months. This ensures any clashes are known well in advance and assignments can be completed in time to ensure they do not affect your social life. Or at least that’s the plan. In my experience, this is just wishful thinking and outside of o-week the only 15 hour days I will have oncampus will be due to procrastination and completing assignments the day they are due. Not a good idea. Not something I would suggest.

But, if you are serious about your study use your free WSU Student Wall Planner and fee WSU 2012 Student Diary to ensure you get the best out of 2012. The diaries have

funky Semester A and Semester B tabs, spaces for your timetable, and everything you need to know... really if you read the diary cover to cover you’ll be set to take over. Or at least take charge of your time as a student. If you don’t have a diary and wall planner, come and join up at the WSU. We’re giving them away free to members so see one of the wonderful WSU staff or directors at WSU reception and pick one up – remember there are limited numbers so first in best kitted out.

That’s it from me. I’m going back to the green to snag more free stuff and ignore my first moodle posts that are due... those suckers are tomorrow’s un-fun job.

Sapphire Gillard WSU El Presidente 2012

How Saph Sees It

8 BallForged in the fi res of sin andblood lust, coloured in theemptiness that exists in the heartsof man. I was once a symbol of fearand rage. I was once a conquer of worlds,galaxies moved at my every desire. Now I lay herediscarded in the toy box of a child. I plot and I scheme fora day that vengeance will be mine. I will break free frommy captors and once again you will know my name.

I am Vengeance, I am Rage IAM 8-BALL!

I will wear the skins of all who oppose my rule, Iwill hollow out your world and use it for my ashtray and, because I am feeling generous today Iwill do a Q & A if you line up in an orderly fashion:

Oh magnifi cent eight ball I am starting to like-likea boy and I think he likes me too but he mighthave a girlfriend . Will our relationship work out?It is decidedly soI care not for such trivial things. The feelings betweenmen and women make for ineffective soldiers in my waragainst the light. Betrayal and jealousy are what I live for.But since you asked, yeah I think you kids have a shot. The8 Ball has decided.

Yo 8B, can I use a condom more than once if it isthe same chick on the same night.Ask again later.The 8 Ball has never known the love of a good women andcannot give you the answer that you seek at the moment.Just because you can do something doesn’t mean youshould. The 8 Ball knows only what sex and the city toldhim and if you have the money spend it on being safe.

My friends keep daring me to swim in the Unilake. Seems easy enough, but they start laughingevery time I say that’s too easy. Is there somethingI should know?My reply is no.I may be a sadistic warlord from another dimension buteven I am not stupid enough to swim in that lake.

Why is the Education Cafeteria so horrifi callyover-priced?Concentrate and ask againSilly rabbit I only answer yes or no questions. I am busyorchestrating my evil plans for world domination. Phaseone fi nancing my take over by charging students excessiveamounts at an education café I recently took ownership of.By take ownership I mean I slaughtered all who opposedme there and kept the others focused on my hypnotic gaze.

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News6

News

Sargeson Letters Compiled

A single pencil-written letter by New Zealand writer FrankSargeson to the American short story writer SherwoodAnderson was the only prompt Dr Sarah Shieff needed tostart compiling a whole book of Sargeson’s letters.“It was one simple fan letter from one writer to another,so touching and personal, and from that, I wanted toread more,” says Dr Shieff, a senior lecturer in Englishat the University of Waikato. Four and a half years later,Letters of Frank Sargeson will be formally launched at theUniversity of Waikato Student Centre on March 14.Dr Shieff tracked down about 6000 Sargeson letters, themajority in Wellington’s Alexander Turnbull Library, andset about selecting 500 of them for the book.“That was a publishable size and I selected on the basis ofbiographical and literary interest, historical interest andgeneral liveliness.”Frank Sargeson, grew up in Hamilton as Norris FrankDavey. Although he is best known for his short stories,he was also a playwright, and an acclaimed novelist andmemoirist. The letters show his literary output in anentirely new light.He wrote letters to friends and lovers, and to prominentand aspiring writers in New Zealand and overseas. Theyreveal him to be an environmentalist - he made his owncompost, and as early as the 1940s objected to the use ofchemical fertilisers in farming. In the ‘50s he was deeplyopposed to atmospheric nuclear testing. He also appealedto government to award state pensions to poorer writers.“Frank loved looking after people,” says Dr Shieff. “Hemade his home available to other writers, and gave awaymost of what he earned to the shabby older men he wasso fond of. But he could also be malicious, gossipy andinterfering. He really was a character in his own life story.”

Hamilton The Home For The Walking Dead

Hamilton City is turning into a post apocalyptic sanctuary for the walking dead in readiness for the arrival of Jon Bernthal. The star of TV2’s hit gruesome drama The Walking Dead (Wednesday’s 9.30pm, TV2) is coming to Hamilton exclusively for the Armageddon Expo on Saturday April 14th and Sunday April 15th, 2012. To celebrate the arrival of one of televisions biggest anti-heroes, Hamilton’s walking dead will be shuffl ing through city streets in an Zombie Walk on Saturday April 14th. Armageddon Expo Event Director, Bill Geradts is delighted to be celebrating Jon Bernthal’s imminent arrival in Hamilton with a Zombie Walk. “I’m looking forward to seeing a great deal of walking dead fans wandering around Hamilton city - it’s certainly not something you see everyday!” he said. “We’re delighted that Jon is coming to New Zealand and we know he’s looking forward to being hosted by Hamilton Armageddon Expo fans.” From it’s inception in 1995, the Armageddon Expo has grown to become the largest fantasy event in Australasia. With shows in Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch, Melbourne and now Hamilton it’s clear to see the Armageddon Expo continues to embody the ever growing pulp culture phenomenon. “Armageddon is a real melting pot of zombies, Twilighters, anime enthusiasts, comic collectors, Transformers fans and cult tv show devotees all mixed in and generally having a fantastic weekend” says Event Director Bill Geradts. Further celebrity guests heading to Hamilton for the Armageddon Expo include stars from the Twilight Saga fi lms, wolf pack duo Bronson Pelletier (Jared) and Tinsel Korey (Emily), along with Volturi vampire (Demetri) Charlie Bewley. They’ll be joined by iconic Matt Frewer of Max Headroom fame as well as Paul McGillion (Dr. Carson Beckett) from Stargate Atlantis and John Levene (Sergeant John Benton) from the Classic Doctor Who series. Jon Bernthal will be appearing exclusively at the Hamilton Armageddon Expo; photograph and signing times can be found at www.armageddonexpo.com/nz

The 7.5 million dollar redevelopment of the University Halls of Residence is well on track according to reports. One observer noted it was going so well that they had almost completely removed the smell of bourbon, pot and sacrifi ced fi rst year virgin in room 17. Thanks again class of 92.

ShortNews

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News 7

FIRST-YEAR STUDENTS RECEIVE SHARE OF$90,000 IN SCHOLARSHIPS

Eighteen fi rst-year University of Waikato studentsreceived a share of $90,000 in scholarships from theDavid Johnstone Charitable Trust. The trust, whichaims to help science and education students expandtheir knowledge, recognises fi rst-year students whodemonstrate qualities of character, initiative, enterprise,ingenuity and leadership. Each student received $5,000.Successful students were Melissa Appel, Jessica Danby,Parham Foroutan, Emma Gillard, Abbey Greenwell, GoldeHolzapfel, Hannah Juby, Christina Korebrits, KirstyKraakman, Sarah Longman, Severin Mahoney-Marsh,Kayley Martin, Conor Maxwell, Ira Pascoe, Amy Rodger,Andrew Sherson, Benjamin Smither and Shalee Watkins.Scholarships are administered on behalf of the DavidJohnstone Charitable Trust by Guardian Trust.Greens Upset with Key over “reign in studentloans” Comment. John Key’s comment that the studentloan scheme will be reined in “in a big way” will be badnews for students, according to the Green Party“While I welcome John Key’s commitment to retaininginterest-free student loans for some, I am concernedabout the implications of his comments for access totertiary education,” Green Party Students and YouthSpokesperson Holly Walker said.“Any moves to restrict access to student loans andallowances will prevent potential students from upskillingand retraining, when this is exactly what we needthem to do in these recessionary times.”The news came on the same day that Tertiary EducationMinister Steven Joyce proposed publishing tables ofaverage earnings for graduates for certain courses.

Management classrooms have swollen by up to75% in some papers while the University asks itsstudents for more money.

Nexus has received word from students that some papersin the Strategic Management Department are now fi eldingup to 35 students in papers where class sizes have traditionally been between 20-25 students. The larger class sizes are a consequence of the management school reducing tutorial numbers in some papers from nineteen classes per week to only eight.

The increased class sizes will likely mean less interactionbetween the tutor and the student, and more stress placedon the tutors themselves. This streamlining comes on theback of the Universityincreasing course fees by 4% for 2012.

One Strategic Management tutor told Nexus that theythought the changes in tutorial size would impact onstudents’education. “It’s going to be really diffi cult toprovide quality education when there are just so manystudents in a class” the tutor said. “I’m particularly concerned about how I am going to manage any teamworkeffectively, when tutorials of 35 students means at leastseven groups in a class”.

If you have been affected by cost-cutting measures in yourpapers we would love to hear from you. Email us: news@nexusmag.co.nz

A 7ft American student hopes to break stereotypes this year by being the fi rst transsexual toplay in the Womens National Basketball Association. organisers of the league are concerned that this will forever damage womens basketball. Said one league manager it isn’t that she’s transsexual that concerns us if the others fi gure out one can dunk they are all going to be trying it and no one wants to see a game end 6-4.

A women using Facebook discovered her husbands other wife through the “people youmay know” feature. Here is Nexus bigamy tip number one: If you want multiple wives in theFacebook era then you are exactly the person the “it’s complicated” relationship status wascreated for. Nexus Bigamy tip number two: If you have multiple wives have multiple Facebook profi les.

8 Opinion

Lettuce

Dear Nexus,

You know what? People at this university are fuckingstupid. I have a number of problems with these dicks.

Firstly, mature students. What is your problem? Why doyou sit at the front of the class asking a question everythirty seconds?! Even the lecturers can’t get a word in.Seriously, shut the fuck up. I’m here to hear what thelecturers have to say, not your whingy fucking questions.

Secondly, why can’t the Christians leave us to believe whatwe want to fucking believe. Stop giving us free jandalsand start fucking right off. I don’t want to believe inyour whatever you believe in and I don’t want to knowabout it.

Thirdly, what’s with those fucking chicks handing outshit opposite Management School. Sure, I don’t mindhot chicks, and I don’t mind free shit. However, whatI do mind is walking past them, liking what I see,getting a fucking hard on, then walking into alecture. That shit’s awkward. Can’t they have big uglymen doing it?

Fourthly, what’s with the sex talk in Nexus all the time?University is about more than cocks and what to do withthem. What the fuck is with all the fuck?

Finally, why isn’t there more sex talk in Nexus?

I hope you all listen to my thoughts, becausethey’re better than yours.

Signed,

Patient and Tolerant.

Hi,

I was at the 21st that Mel made a rowing cake. It wasamazing, delicious and some of it is still sitting in myfridge if I’m completely honest.

But the real reason for this lettuce, is that the picture thatwas in the article is after all us tipsy kids got our hands onit and it fails to show the cake in ask it’s epicness.

Thus I’ve attached a photo I’ve took so that you can see thecake on all it’s glory, mainly because I’ve realised mel maynot have a good photo, so if you could piss it asking, I feelshe would appreciate it.

Cheers,

Sent from Smartphone

8 Opinion

Lettuce

Dear Nexus,

You know what? People at this university are fucking stupid. I have a number of problems with these dicks.

Firstly, mature students. What is your problem? Why do you sit at the front of the class asking a question every thirty seconds?! Even the lecturers can’t get a word in. Seriously, shut the fuck up. I’m here to hear what the lecturers have to say, not your whingy fucking questions.

Secondly, why can’t the Christians leave us to believe what we want to fucking believe. Stop giving us free jandals and start fucking right off. I don’t want to believe in your whatever you believe in and I don’t want to know about it.

Thirdly, what’s with those fucking chicks handing out shit opposite Management School. Sure, I don’t mind hot chicks, and I don’t mind free shit. However, what I do mind is walking past them, liking what I see, getting a fucking hard on, then walking into a lecture. That shit’s awkward. Can’t they have big ugly men doing it?

Fourthly, what’s with the sex talk in Nexus all the time? University is about more than cocks and what to do with them. What the fuck is with all the fuck?

Finally, why isn’t there more sex talk in Nexus?

I hope you all listen to my thoughts, because they’re better than yours.

Signed,

Patient and Tolerant.

Hi,

I was at the 21st that Mel made a rowing cake. It was amazing, delicious and some of it is still sitting in my fridge if I’m completely honest.

But the real reason for this lettuce, is that the picture that was in the article is after all us tipsy kids got our hands on it and it fails to show the cake in ask it’s epicness. Thus I’ve attached a photo I’ve took so that you can see the cake on all it’s glory, mainly because I’ve realised mel may not have a good photo, so if you could piss it asking, I feel she would appreciate it.

Cheers,

Sent from Smartphone

9Section

Studylink

Dear Studylink,You suck. I mean, you’re a government agency – and are therefore useless – but come on. Can’t you do any better? It shouldn’t be that hard.

This is my fi fth year at uni and every time I need to deal with you, it’s just a nightmare. First – what the hell is up with the mystudylink page. Why do I need to remember some bizarre combination of letters and numbers for my username, another odd combination (to fi t within your 10 gazillion rules) for a password, and THEN have to remember the exact order of letters in some passphrase. That’s a lot of remembering, and to be honest, it’s just unnecessary. My online bank account at ASB doesn’thave that much password remembering, for goodness sake. And if I forget any of this stuff, it’s a bloody mission to reset my password or passphrase, requiring a ridiculous amount of thinking that is just (frankly) too much effort.

However, this year was even better than usual. That’s because I actually had a query that couldn’t be solved by the supposedly ‘solve everything’ masterpiece that is the mystudylink website – as I’m fi nishing off my Masters degree, I’m not quite a full-time student (I’m doing 90 points this year and 120 is full-time) but I can’t take any more papers as I don’t need them to fi nish your degree. As a result, I rang up studylink to fi nd out what I needed to do, and what do I get? A two-minute-long message telling me about the wonders of mystudylink, and then the best part: “Unfortunately we are currently experiencing high call volumes and are not able to answer your call at this time. Please accept our apologies for this inconvenience”. I got this message twice each day for four days in a row before I got through. Right, so I’m just supposed to use magic to fi gure out my question then?

Please sort your shit out next year, studylink. You really need to.

Erin Davison

THE NEXUS LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS A $20 VOUCHER FROM UNIMART

CONVENIENCE STORE HERE ON CAMPUS

FOOD, DRINKS, SNACKS AND DAILY ESSENTIALS ALL IN ONE FRIENDLY LOCATION

WSU Peoples are Awesome

Dear WSUThank you for actually being awesome this year! O week was great as usual, but what was really nice was to see so many WSU director people on the green helping out and actually (shock horror) talking to students. Especially that hot ginger president babe, she’s awesome. As is (sorry – don’t know your names, so you will now be stereotyped by your experience) the hippy dreads girl, the lovely Maorilady (with the cute daughter), the hot blonde chick, the friendly Tongan girl, and the lolz right-wing guy. Plus all the other WSU people who I can’t think of stereotypes for. You’re all awesome and thanks for not just sitting in your offi ce wasting my money, but instead bothering to talk to students, being on the bus at 2 in the morning, and just be friendly people. Also, it’s great to have friendly smiley people in the WSU offi ce too – yay! Please keep it up.

Francis Silvester

Bring back Sex on Campus

Dear NexusPlease bring back sex on campus for me to read. It was deliciously exciting and raunchy and sometimes even instructional. Please track down Dick and Fanny and make them write again for you? I know its juvenile but I just like to lol at the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ and ‘uni’ all in the same sentence. If you bring it back then I might even have a story of my own to tell.

The S Block Wonder

Congratulations you are this week’s winner! Come to the Waikato Students’ Union building to claim your prize!

9

Dear Nexus,What is wrong with the Hamilton town dress code? Do girls prefer that all the dudes bring the same ‘collared shirt/leather shoe’ swagger to the clubs? I’m not sure, but whenever I try rep a nice cap or some tight high-top kicks to the club I always get denied. It baffl es me. I would rather see everyone bringing their own style to the clubs, just like all the girls bring their own vintage styles to uni. I may not like them, but the main thing is that they are still doing them and I respect that way more than if they just wore something general to uni. Hamilton is just a cow town, but you would think our night scene is like St. Tropez or Ibiza the way we are so picky about footwear intown. I often see dudes in all-good black canvas shoes get denied from Bar 101, or some guy trying to tell me my warriors top is too informal. A warriors top should get me into the VIP section with a complimentary bottle of Goose rather than a word about dress-code etiquette. If I was partying in Europe, Melbourne or somewhere equallyas boss, I would put on whatever they wanted me to wear because those places have status. But this is Hamilton, where people spew in the toilets and steal from the Bakehouse, so why would I switch my swag up for that. I’m not hating on the Hamilton night scene as I’m out there as often as most, but I want to see people pulling up to the club in their own zone, not anyone elses. *Swag*

From a town-goer who would like the chance togo H.A.M.

Dear Tay-Tay Llama

Ok so I might have crossed a line... But honestly, I was only poking fun. Still you shouldn’t have let your friends rage off at me like that. They were straight up just mean. So I propose a truce.

Besides I like epically fried eggs, you like epically fried eggs. I like diapers, you like diapers. I hate creepy pervy Indians in clubs, you hate creepy pervy Indians in clubs. I like almost burning down your kitchen.... Your grandparents like the new kitchen. You and I are like two drunk chicks rolling down hills on offi ce wheely chairs. We’re just that close. Besides, I still owe you dinner!!Friends?

Love, C-Dawg

Dear Nexus.

It pains me to write this but I feel I need to get it out. Why is the university going around announcing to the world its in profi t, when the majority of its students are in debt. Like yay you mooched more of the students than you spent on quality teaching. A little less tutorial here, more oversea travel for the big wigs there. Not only do they announce a profi t but then all go to breakfast to pat each other on the back. Maybe its cause I only get two wheatbix a morning but I feel like the lthat little shin dig could have paid for more tutors and a better quality of education. Oh and before they start on about investment in the future bla bla bla I paid my fees this year not 2017.

HeadingSports Thoughtswith C-ball

THE HORSE IS IN THESTABLE FOR NOW

Roy Jones Jnr may not be a member of New ZealandCricket’s selection panel, but that didn’t stop (not so) fastbowler Tim Southee getting dropped after an abysmalrun of form which, in all honesty, stretches right back towhen he fi rst hit the scene. A lot was made of Southee ata young age before he hit the international big time, withpast-time wonder Dennis Lillee praising the youngsterafter a bowling camp, saying he was far beyond anythingthe great Glenn McGrath was at the same age. The onlysimilarity I can see between the two is their consistentpace readouts, milling awkwardly around the 135kmphmark. Not so bad when you can pitch the ball on anyperson who made a ‘Kony 2012’ statement that wasn’t acomplete and utter moron. A feat some would say is nighimpossible due to everyone one of these people lackingany excuse for a brain, but Glenn McGrath could’ve doneit. He made bowling medium pace as cool as it couldpossibly be, until he retired and leftovers were onlycapable of spraying balls aimlessly down the pitch likeone of those noobs in Call of Duty that rolls with the lightmachine gun.

Dropping Southee is, in my opinion, an extremely goodmove, because the man’s potential is obvious and a kickin the bum might work wonders. Unfortunately, potentialdoesn’t transfer to results – just ask any 2011 Miami Heatfan. Ever since Southee blasted onto our screens with his5 for 55 and 77 runs from 44 balls on debut, the man haslived in a shadow that seemingly cannot be escaped. That5 wicket haul, which came in the fi rst innings, is the onlytime he has ever achieved this feat in test cricket, showingthat since his fi rst match, he has failed to truly performand provide the role of a wicket taker. His bowlingaverage of 44 emphasises this, and one must feel he hasmaintained his position in the side simply on aura alone.His statistics aren’t the only things to drop however, ashis pace has fallen to a level that leaves me scratchingmy head. Okay, I understand test match cricket is aboutaccuracy and patience, but I can’t understand howSouthee fi rst hit the scene bowling in excess of 145kmph,and now is settling for a leisurely 130kmph give or take.I’d accept it if this was the price being paid for tight lines,

but it isn’t. The last test match against South Africa leftTim Southee with fi gures of 140 runs for no wicket. Whata boring 15 hours in the fi eld that must have been for him.In contrast, take a look at South Africa’s VernonPhillander – a bowler who has recently started his careeron the international cricket stage, and marks the exactthing Southee should strive to mimic. Philander doesn’tbowl anything express in terms of pace. What he does,however, is bowl consistently in an area that the batsmancan’t leave. More times playing at the ball equates to morechances of an edge, which even Professor Southee couldwork out to mean more chances of a wicket. Bowlingtight, it would seem, is a far better option than the shortwide delivery that gets slapped to the boundary, wouldn’tyou agree? Philander does this with such absolute controland consistency, that after just 5 test matches, the manhas 34 wickets at an unbelievable average of 14, four5 wicket hauls and even an astonishing 10 wicket haultoo. And he isn’t Chinese, so we can safely rule out genemanipulation. Already his statistics are superior to notjust Southee’s, but any other bowler in the New Zealandline up, and everyone around the world for that matter.You could argue that Philander is just naturally gifted,that he has something others don’t, but I refuse it. Talentwill get you many places and many things, but even thatstage 5 clinger is going to need a bit of grease sooneror later. Hard work separates the men from the boys,trust me, that’s why I’m writing this instead of ripping itup for my beloved Black Caps. We’ve all heard how thegreat Don Bradman practised hitting golf balls, and howSachin Tendulkar would spend hours on end in the netsas a child and teenager, so I’m really hoping New Zealanddropping Southee works as a catalyst for bigger and betterthings. I love it when he walks down the other end of thepitch and rips on a batsman, but that’d be all the moresweet if the next ball didn’t get dispatched into the stands.New Zealand Cricket needs Southee to put in some graft,I’m talking beyond that ‘trying to snake that girl in theOutback who thinks she’s smoking hot’ level of graft.Because if he doesn’t – who will save us Andy McKay. Ijust turned catholic. God help us all.

Opinion10

11Opinion

Ok boys. You had your time to cry. It’s our time.

Dear male race, WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEAN?!?I have been told that I think like a man; a “gentlemen with breasts” apparently; however I would hate to spin a shit yarn and lead you all astray/ have a gang of crazy bitches hunting me down, so this week it’s a random selection of Uterus-Users interrogating a beautiful bunch of Sperm Soldiers. As usual, if you have a problem, don’t get your man period about it. Come at me/ them bro. They can take it. Can you?

Uhhhhhh leggo.

Q. Looks or personality? If both, what are the percentages of each?A. It’s almost 100% looks before you get to know them but as you get to know the personality, looks become less and less important until fi nally you actually fall in love with the girl and their looks stop mattering at all at least go down to like 20%.A. One night stand or a relationship? A one night stand you’re going to be more focused on what a gal looks like, if you are looking for a relationship then the girl needs personality, a smile on the dial and maybe a little common sense.

Q. Why are you such a gc when you’re not around your guy mates, but as soon as they’re there, you’re a dick.A. Because I can’t fuck you when the boys are there.A. We act ourselves around the girl we like because we feel comfortable enough to be ourselves but around our mates that’s a different story because everyone the boys like to take the piss out of one another.

Q. Is it true that you will bang anything? What if she’s hella ugly?A. LOL I really can’t answer this one, not in my area of expertise. Some guys are just straight pigs.A. Depends how many brews I have had and if I don’t have to release her back into the wild after. If she seems nice, then why not? Just another point showing guys aren’t shallow I guess.

Q. Why can’t you be ‘just mates’ with a chick?A. Every girl I’ve tried to be mates with has either starting liking me or I’ve starting liking her. I feel that the

slight attraction with your girl mate actually makes the friendship more exciting. if she never tells you that she likes you or if you never tell her then the friendship can work...but who really is capable of keeping their feelings to themselves.A. Guys don’t have problems with being mates with chicks it’s just all the shit they bring, a guy lives a very casual lifestyle and that shit just does not fl y.

Q. How do we know when you’re pissed off at us? A. I personally would say something at the fi rst possible moment probably at the wrong time too haha, but some guys would just distance themselves talk to you less or just act differently.A. Cause we’re out on the piss every night instead of with you, usually a pretty good hint. If you know him well enough you should know.

Q. Why do you like anal?A. Why not? Every guy has different opinions some love it, some may want it cause its different and not the same old thing every time or others the chase? A guy always wants what he can’t haveA. It’s something that not many girls would do and who doesn’t what to play with a toy that not everyone gets to use. It’s tighter. It’s something not every guy has done and you can continue to have sex while she’s on her period... Quadruple win for the guy.

Q. Do you ever ignore chicks you like? Or does that mean you’re just not keen.A. might act a little shy but a guy has got to make plays, if we like you we will talk to you somehow. A. If I thought she had ignored me, I’d just trying to balance it out so she didn’t think I was more keen than her; but sometimes yes a guy will just straight ignore because he doesn’t like you.

Q. Do you like it when girls gag during head?A. Not if I feel I’m hurting her. It ruins it.

Q. Why do you put up with us being bitches?A. Cause a girl (hopefully) has the only set of tits in a relationship. If a guy really likes you he is not going to be scared off that easily. He will put up with a little shit but push a fella too much you may be having a few lonely nights. A. 3 possible reasons, he’s whipped, he’s in love or the good outweighs the bad... Meaning you properly make all his dreams come true in the sack.

I hope that cleared a few things up for you. Now we can stop having these little therapy sessions and get back into sorting your lives out. I love you all. See you on the same page during your next shit 2 hour morning lecture.

Yours intrinsically,MMF.x

Turn around. I’m behind you. Haha no I’m not.Or am I?

Opinion 11

12 13Opinion

Hate It or Love Itby Gucci

This year, 2012, is apparently meant to spell the end of the world. I believe this theory is caused by scientists reading too much into something that they could only scientifically analyse if they were actually there at that time. I also think that the Mayans baffled themselves as to how they could enlarge their counting system, similar to how the current population of the world can’t count past infinity.

My question to you is ‘have you adopted the ‘2012’ attitude?

Putting my unscientific analysis of the ‘2012 phenomenon’ aside, take a moment to picture yourself thinking there was a possibility that 2012 would happen. Wouldn’t you start doing things that you have imagined yourself doing but not thinking that anything will come of them? For example the rapper Drake released his first mix tape in 2006, made a living off his music a year later, and now enjoys fame and fortune. I believe anyone with the same level of dedication, self-belief, and passion can emulate his success. I won’t bother describing how Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, rose to fame as most of you have probably seen the movie ‘The Social Network’, but he obviously had the ‘2012’ eight years prior.

I mention these stories because you never know what will come of your passion unless you pursue it, and I know that at around this time a lot of people will be questioning whether their passion lies at university. I’m not advocating that someone drops out of university, but if you don’t like it and you would rather do something else, why spend three years of your life here. I know a handful of people who have second-guessed their decision to be at university throughout the first year and ended up giving it away at the end of the year anyway. They are now involved in activities which they get more enjoyment out of and in many cases, are getting paid for rather than getting a student loan. So indirectly their decision to leave tertiary study was a benefit to our country, and only a detriment to the university’s bank account and the mental health of their conservative parents.

Let me put a situation on the table. You’re from New Zealand but for whatever reason you have to study in Argentina. You want to study a law degree but the laws between these two counties differ, so you don’t know how good your chances of getting a law-related job in New Zealand are once you graduate. Would you study law or choose something else?

My advice in this situation is that you first look at your interests and what you enjoy learning about and you study that. You will find a way to achieve happiness in a career as long as you maintain a passion for what you’re doing! I know so many people my parent’s age who never pursued their dream job, whether they had a chance of making it work or not. What I’m saying is that you should at least roll the dice, adopt the ‘2012’ attitude and dedicate a larger part of your time to the things you truly enjoy doing.

We are living in an age where Nike are completely correct - impossible is nothing. If you’re an aspiring rapper, you can purchase a decent microphone set-up for $250 and use free resources like Facebook and YouTube to publish your material. An aspiring rugby player only has to send some footage of them playing and an email to New England College to give them self the chance of receiving a full paid scholarship to a United States college. If you want to write, all you have to do is email the Nexus and say you want a column to get your stuff out there. That’s what I did. My parents most definitely didn’t have anywhere near the same level of opportunity to make the big time on such limited resources as I now do. Microphones certainly didn’t cost half the week’s pay check back then, whilst they would and up waiting for the turn of the millennium to experience the wonders of Facebook and YouTube.

In 2012 I’m talking about the start of a life with no regrets and no excuses; a year in which ‘doing it big’ is the status quo and not just the actions of a few people. This year brings more opportunity than any year before it; so as if I threw you an alley-oop and you’re Blake Griffin, I’m telling you to ‘go get it’!

My question to you is ‘have you adopted the ‘2012’ attitude?

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13Opinion 13Opinion

Hate It or Love Itby Gucci

This year, 2012, is apparently meant to spell the end of the world. I believe this theory is caused by scientists reading too much into something that they could only scientifically analyse if they were actually there at that time. I also think that the Mayans baffled themselves as to how they could enlarge their counting system, similar to how the current population of the world can’t count past infinity.

My question to you is ‘have you adopted the ‘2012’ attitude?

Putting my unscientific analysis of the ‘2012 phenomenon’ aside, take a moment to picture yourself thinking there was a possibility that 2012 would happen. Wouldn’t you start doing things that you have imagined yourself doing but not thinking that anything will come of them? For example the rapper Drake released his first mix tape in 2006, made a living off his music a year later, and now enjoys fame and fortune. I believe anyone with the same level of dedication, self-belief, and passion can emulate his success. I won’t bother describing how Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, rose to fame as most of you have probably seen the movie ‘The Social Network’, but he obviously had the ‘2012’ eight years prior.

I mention these stories because you never know what will come of your passion unless you pursue it, and I know that at around this time a lot of people will be questioning whether their passion lies at university. I’m not advocating that someone drops out of university, but if you don’t like it and you would rather do something else, why spend three years of your life here. I know a handful of people who have second-guessed their decision to be at university throughout the first year and ended up giving it away at the end of the year anyway. They are now involved in activities which they get more enjoyment out of and in many cases, are getting paid for rather than getting a student loan. So indirectly their decision to leave tertiary study was a benefit to our country, and only a detriment to the university’s bank account and the mental health of their conservative parents.

Let me put a situation on the table. You’re from New Zealand but for whatever reason you have to study in Argentina. You want to study a law degree but the laws between these two counties differ, so you don’t know how good your chances of getting a law-related job in New Zealand are once you graduate. Would you study law or choose something else?

My advice in this situation is that you first look at your interests and what you enjoy learning about and you study that. You will find a way to achieve happiness in a career as long as you maintain a passion for what you’re doing! I know so many people my parent’s age who never pursued their dream job, whether they had a chance of making it work or not. What I’m saying is that you should at least roll the dice, adopt the ‘2012’ attitude and dedicate a larger part of your time to the things you truly enjoy doing.

We are living in an age where Nike are completely correct - impossible is nothing. If you’re an aspiring rapper, you can purchase a decent microphone set-up for $250 and use free resources like Facebook and YouTube to publish your material. An aspiring rugby player only has to send some footage of them playing and an email to New England College to give them self the chance of receiving a full paid scholarship to a United States college. If you want to write, all you have to do is email the Nexus and say you want a column to get your stuff out there. That’s what I did. My parents most definitely didn’t have anywhere near the same level of opportunity to make the big time on such limited resources as I now do. Microphones certainly didn’t cost half the week’s pay check back then, whilst they would and up waiting for the turn of the millennium to experience the wonders of Facebook and YouTube.

In 2012 I’m talking about the start of a life with no regrets and no excuses; a year in which ‘doing it big’ is the status quo and not just the actions of a few people. This year brings more opportunity than any year before it; so as if I threw you an alley-oop and you’re Blake Griffin, I’m telling you to ‘go get it’!

My question to you is ‘have you adopted the ‘2012’ attitude?

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14 Opinion14 Opinion

Diary of a HipsterIssue Two: Dress Sense

So you think you’re a Hipster?

Yes I’m talking to you. I’ve seen you all changing up your style since last year. Anybody else noticed how many more baggy fed tops there are around, Chuck Taylors, short back and side haircuts, tight jeans and Ray Bans. I get it’s now ‘cool’ to mix up your style a little more, but what are you actually trying to do, who are you trying to impress, and why all of a sudden is it cool to dress like a hipster?

Well for starters let me please state my case a little here, before you run and judge me thinking I’m some stuck up twat that thinks he’s cooler than everyone else, consider this. I’ll have you know, that I was never the ‘cool’ kid at high school, or at any school I went to for that matter, I was never one of the intelligent kids either and I wasn’t really that good at anything. I couldn’t dance, jump or sing. I never played rugby for the 1st XV, nor was I the drummer for the high school band that won the talent quest. I was that chubby kid with the weird fringe that sat up the back in class and never really had anything much to say. I will admit things, and I myself have changed a lot since high school, as I’m sure you have as well. I’m not intimidated by the ‘cool’ kids, the rugby jocks, or the petty name callers any more. I have more confi dence now in my pinky fi nger than I had in my entire body back then. There came a time where I decided I was happy in my own skin, the jocks and the name callers could no longer intimidate me, and what people thought of me slid further and further down the list of my worries. I’ll tell you this; I had never felt so alive. All of a sudden doors began to open for me, girls started talking to me, more and more people wanted to be my friend. I couldn’t believe it, the geek with glasses and an over bite and no social skills was slowly but surely gaining social status. It’s amazing how many opportunities get thrown your way when you actively pursue a lifestyle that allows you to express yourself in every shape way or form possible.

I guess what I’m trying to get at here, is you don’t have to be the fullback for our 1st XV, or the DJ from that nightclub, or that smoking hot babe who won the bikini comp, to be able to express yourself. Whether it be your

dress sense, you’re hair-cut or the way you walk, own it, don’t ever half arse any of it. A famous artist from Detroit by the name of Moody Man once said, “It ain’t what you do, it’s how you do it”

For me, having style, swag, or being a hipster can never be determined by your haircut or your skinny jeans. It’s so much more than that, it’s everything. The things you can’t touch are the things that defi ne you the most. Someone with swag, you spot from across the room, you pick them out of a crowd, and when you’re in their presence they create an atmosphere around you. They put a stop to those awkward silences, they keep you hanging off their every word, and you can’t take your eyes off them because you can’t help but try to absorb some of their positive energy. They bring that warm fuzzy feeling into the room, there’s just that something about them you can’t put your fi nger on. This is something those jocks and the dropkicks with the lens less glasses will never understand or be able to stretch their minds around. Hipster and swagger aren’t just words, they are a way of life, an alternative life style. It starts when you wake up in the morning and carries on through each and every social interaction you encounter throughout your day. You can’t just put of a baggy shirt on, tie your chucks and become something that you’re not on the inside.

So to the twats that think they’re cool because they have a skinny t-shirt or picked up a pair of $40 jeans from Jay Jay’s or worst of all wear a pair of those ridiculous lens less glasses, pick up your game. I see a girl around campus with dreads and she’s never got any shoes on, a guy with a massive afro, even a guy with one side of his head shaved. Each of them has more swag in their big toe than you do in both your Chuck Taylors.

If you got something you want to say about this, jump on Facebook and type ‘Something’s Wall’ into your search bar. There you will fi nd a place where you can share me love, or be a hater, the choice is yours.

By Something Hip

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15Opinion 15Opinion

Auteur HouseBy Dr Richard Swainson

Ben Gazzara was a long way from being a household name.

When he died on February 3rd this year it barely warranted a headline. The first I heard of his passing was during the Oscars when he featured in the annual memorial montage, a distinctive face amongst an unusually high amount of industry unknowns.

Gazzara made his name on Broadway in the mid-1950s and his reputation remained highest in the theatre. He turned down a number of potentially star making film possibilities early in his career and then settled for some stock television work in the 1960s when he needed the money. Consequently, his cinematic leading roles were few and far between. However, Gazzara was always an edgy, disturbing presence no matter how big the part. His film work contained many highlights and he kept very good company.

He was fortunate on debut. 1959’s “Anatomy of a Murder” is as complex a court room drama as Hollywood has ever produced. Gazzara plays the accused, a thoroughly unlikable military officer defended by Jimmy Stewart’s small town, down-on-his-luck lawyer. Ambiguity in crime melodramas is rare but “Anatomy of a Murder” manages it, never clearly stating if Gazzara’s character is guilty or not. Holding his own with acting heavyweights like Stewart and Arthur O’Connell as well as emerging stars Lee Remick and George C Scott, Gazzara manages to register in a film stocked full of memorable, Oscar-worthy performances.

His next notable part came over a decade later, courtesy of friend John Cassavetes. If “Anatomy of a Murder” is studio Hollywood’s idea of an ensemble film, “Husbands” is the American independent cinema’s equivalent, a long, rambling, some would say undisciplined examination of masculinity and male bonding that pairs Gazzara with Peter Falk and Cassavetes himself. Like all of the director’s work an acquired taste, yet brave, probing and stunningly performed, “Husbands” was followed in 1976 by Cassavetes’ “The Killing of Chinese Bookie”.

Easily Gazzara’s best leading role, “Bookie” sees him as an Italian gangster bent on revenge at all costs. Those looking for a warmed-over “Godfather” would be well disappointed. Cassavetes offers instead a nuanced, atmospheric study of character and environment. For those with the patience to accept the film’s slow rhythm it’s a richly rewarding if melancholy experience. Gazzara is simply stunning.

The big parts that followed saw him more in the news for his private life. “Bloodline” and “They All Laughed” were at best minor achievements but they did afford the actor a chance to co-star with anageing-if-still-beautiful Audrey Hepburn. Their romance had little likelihood of surviving the long term - he was New York centric, she married to her United Nations charity work - but he certainly never regretted their time together. Who would?

In the late 1990s Gazzara’s career enjoyed a fruitful revival. 1998 was banner year, with memorable roles in three cult classics: Todd Solondz’s acerbic black comedy “Happiness”, the Coen brothers’ ode to druggie slackerdom “The Big Lebowski” and Vincent Gallo’s wonderfully bizarre directorial debut “Buffalo ‘66”. It’s the last in which Gazzara makes the biggest impression. Playing Gallo’s nasty father he barks out lines, shamelessly gropes the bounteous bosoms of Christina Ricci and even has a touching musical moment, lip sinking to an old 1940s Frank Sinatra number in a scene clearly influenced by David Lynch.

Only one Gazzara part after “Buffalo ‘66” in anyway compares. In Lars von Trier’s minimally staged,experimental work “Dogville” he again enjoys playing a villain, a blind man that first moves Nicole Kidman’s girl-on-the-lam to pity before joining in with all other males in the town and sexually abusing her. “Dogville” is another great ensemble piece, bringing together a diverse cast that includes Bergman veteran Harriet Anderson, golden era legend Lauren Bacall, current international Scandanvian star Stellan Skarsgard as well as contemporary talent like Chloe Sveginy. Brilliant in and of himself, Gazzara also functions iconically, representing the Cassavetes tradition in a film that deliberately references the previous work of all its performers.

Three years later Gazzara co-starred with Cassavetes’ widow Gena Rowlands in a segment of the portmaneau “Paris, je t’aime” that was also written by her. It is a slight if heartfelt ode to the glory days, lacking the Cassavetes edge. Only rarely could you say that of Gazzara himself.

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16 Lifestyle16 Section

Tangata Tumeke

He aha te huarahi? I runga i te tika, te pono me te aroha. What is the pathway? It is doing what is right, with integrity and compassion.

- Areta Koopu CBE of Ngati Kau, Ngati Kanohi,

Aitanga-a-Hauiti.A past National President of the Maori Women’s Welfare League, former human rights commissioner, current Waitangi Tribunal member.

one act of kindness every day

Today’s Monday Motivational by MANU AO Academy comes from Areta Koopu CBE of Ngāti Kau, Ngāti Kanohi, Aitanga-a-Hauiti. He aha te huarahi? I runga i te tika, te pono me te aroha

What is the pathway? It is doing what is right, with integrity and compassion. So, this week I would like to issue a challenge to everyone who reads this page, to act with integrity and compassion to one person each day, this week. How you may ask? Well, it’s as simple as one act of kindness every day. This can start with pausing at a door, and letting other people pass through fi rst; offering someone a pen in class when they have forgotten theirs (thanks by the way). One example I would like to share, started from the inspiration of my beautiful niece Terina. In my fi rst year at university we would travel to university together with my sister, in her car …and even if we were running late for that early morning statistics paper (stats101), she would always take a moment to show some courtesy to fellow-drivers. One day I asked her why, and her reply was “my goal is to do one act of kindness everyday it doesn’t take much Aunty”. Wow…I certainly learnt a lesson of a lifetime. So now every day as I drive

to university, even if I’m running late to class, I always remember those immortal words, and show some driver-courtesy, and I actually feel kinda cool (thanks niece).

So, you don’t drive a car? Flowers really work too. And the cool thing is, if you don’t have a neighbour or a friend that grows them, making them for a friend is just and good, if not better. In fact you could make a paper fl ower and write your name on a petal and ask someone out – who could resist that? My Mum would always visit my grand-uncle and take fl owers, because she said they were ‘food for the soul’. So, I started thinking, okay I’m not the world’s greatest cook, but I can sure shop for fl owers!! What is the pathway? Showing some compassion for others, no matter whom they are – giving a little and expecting nothing back in return. And that one day, when someone does it for you, it simply knocks you off your feet! Best wishes.

Priscilla (Davis) NgataiNgapuhi, Ngatihine, Ngati Kahungunu, Ngati RongomaiwahineVP Maori 2012

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17Lifestyle 17Section

It’s not easy being GreenI want to write about injustice, about poverty and wealth, violence, climate change, the instability of our economic system and disenfranchised, disadvantaged communities. But I get told that you don’t want to read about that.

Apparently if it’s not funny, or about sex, no one will read it. That is kind of understandable- literature on social and environmental issues is readily available and they are kind of overwhelming problems that can rapidly leave you feeling disempowered and hopeless (despite this not being the case! Please don’t ever think you can’t do something).

The thing is that what we need to talk about really isn’t funny. And my inner-optimist and I believe that you actually do want to be reading/talking/doing something about what matters most.

And then there is nexus. A place for light hearted frivolity where, if you encounter an idea all nicely packaged with humor n sexism it will impact upon you beyond what some serious statement ever could?

Maybe. Maybe not.

When thinking about you, the beautifully diverse people who read this, when thinking about who you are and where you are on your learning journey- I think of you as essentially good people who are more than capable of comprehending the complexities that surround us and more than capable of generating change to better our world. I certainly don’t think of you as an apathetic group of no hopers who will be part of “the problem” if not suffi ciently motivated to break free from your (supposed) inherent self interest. Nor do I think of you as beingbrain-dead monkeys who just want to giggle at a joke about a penis or oogle at some boobs.

So maybe it doesn’t matter if you, the ‘audience’, don’t fi nd this funny. I believe there is more to you than that. And there is an increasingly long list of un-funny things we need to talk about.

At times, discussing the realities of our situation seems to impinge upon some unknown social taboo. As if it’s too depressing to think about. Or too political, perhaps. But politics isn’t just about policy, it is about values. And to be A-political all too often means becoming a sophisticated defender of the status quo.

This quandary about framing the more serious stuff for a supposedly disinterested audience intersects

with the rhetoric of student apathy- compared to the 60’s/70’s/80’s, they say, when university was a hot bed of activism and critical social thought, students these days ’just don’t give a damn’.

Are we apathetic? Do we not even know that we are apathetic because we don’t see the depth (or even existence) of an issue? Dominance can make things invisible, especially when it is an ideology or anentrenched norm.

But apathy? Nah. At best those who tell us we are apathetic misunderstand our differences. You can’t see something if you don’t know what to look for. I’ll bet that not many of those who accuse us of apathy know about johnkeylooksatthings.tumblr.com

So is it that this institution of learning is disconnected from society, from the reality of which it is apart? Have we become a middle class pocket of comfort that likes to chuckle at light hearted nonsense because the extent of the discomfort to really discuss the state of our world is too much to handle? I hope not. And I hope it is not that at the end of a hard day we have had enough of the worldsproblems- so we seek to be entertained by something light hearted because we don’t think we, an individual, can really change things anyway.

This is an issue in itself- the confl ict between individualism and our perception of the capability of that individual. For better or worse, individualism is one of the prevailing ideologies of our time. Individuals can do anything, we are told. Apart form generate meaningful change, because then you are no longer an empoweredindividual who actively makes choices- you are ‘just one’. Just one can not make a difference, just one can not fi ght the system, just one can not change the world. Just one is so disempowering!

Don’t be just one. Be one. With another. And another. And then all you need to do is not accept anything less for the other people in our world than you would for yourself.

What that might mean is eradicating poverty. Creating meaningful opportunities and a sustainable economic system that will enhance our ability to live well. Enhance the ability of communities to fl ourish and ecosystems to repair. It might mean rectifying environmental andeconomic injustice. It might mean being part of a better world. And then we won’t need cheap jokes to make you laugh because maybe you’ll be truly happy.

Sam

16 Section

Tangata Tumeke

He aha te huarahi? I runga i te tika, te pono me te aroha. What is the pathway? It is doing what is right, with integrity and compassion.

- Areta Koopu CBE of Ngati Kau, Ngati Kanohi,

Aitanga-a-Hauiti.A past National President of the Maori Women’s Welfare League, former human rights commissioner, current Waitangi Tribunal member.

one act of kindness every day

Today’s Monday Motivational by MANU AO Academy comes from Areta Koopu CBE of Ngāti Kau, Ngāti Kanohi, Aitanga-a-Hauiti. He aha te huarahi? I runga i te tika, te pono me te aroha

What is the pathway? It is doing what is right, with integrity and compassion. So, this week I would like to issue a challenge to everyone who reads this page, to act with integrity and compassion to one person each day, this week. How you may ask? Well, it’s as simple as one act of kindness every day. This can start with pausing at a door, and letting other people pass through fi rst; offering someone a pen in class when they have forgotten theirs (thanks by the way). One example I would like to share, started from the inspiration of my beautiful niece Terina. In my fi rst year at university we would travel to university together with my sister, in her car …and even if we were running late for that early morning statistics paper (stats101), she would always take a moment to show some courtesy to fellow-drivers. One day I asked her why, and her reply was “my goal is to do one act of kindness everyday it doesn’t take much Aunty”. Wow…I certainly learnt a lesson of a lifetime. So now every day as I drive

to university, even if I’m running late to class, I always remember those immortal words, and show some driver-courtesy, and I actually feel kinda cool (thanks niece).

So, you don’t drive a car? Flowers really work too. And the cool thing is, if you don’t have a neighbour or a friend that grows them, making them for a friend is just and good, if not better. In fact you could make a paper fl ower and write your name on a petal and ask someone out – who could resist that? My Mum would always visit my grand-uncle and take fl owers, because she said they were ‘food for the soul’. So, I started thinking, okay I’m not the world’s greatest cook, but I can sure shop for fl owers!! What is the pathway? Showing some compassion for others, no matter whom they are – giving a little and expecting nothing back in return. And that one day, when someone does it for you, it simply knocks you off your feet! Best wishes.

Priscilla (Davis) NgataiNgapuhi, Ngatihine, Ngati Kahungunu, Ngati RongomaiwahineVP Maori 2012

HeadingClubs SpotlightAlpine / Rock Climbing

Blank, blank! That’s right, Blank because sadly to say, this club does not exist anymore on Campus.This was a strong club that went every Monday to Extreme Edge to participate in some fun climbingactivities at cheap rates but due to its’ leading forces graduating and heading away it has collapsed.Wednesday at O Week saw the Rock Wall being climbed by many adventurous students, with one beinga bit of a pro, or possibly a future pro. Daniel Knipper blasted up the wall in a fl at 5seconds, shattering the 7 year long,. North Island, O week record which stood at 5.6 seconds. In 2010 he won the Open Male Speed Climbing Oceania title and to follow that in 2011 he was placed 1st in the climbing NZ National Cup series for under 20s lead climbing and Open Male + under 20 Speed Climbing. With this already under his belt he is planning to compete in the World championships in the future. Good news is that at present however, he is keen to be part of the Alpine Club on Campus so if you want to try something new or are an experienced climber looking for a social outing why not be part of this club and get it back on its feet again! Anyone interested just email me at clubs@wsu.org.nz and I will co-ordinate the revival of the club for you.

Dianne Sweeney

PS. My thanks to all Clubs that participated in Clubs day. It was a great success.

Lifestyle18

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Come in to the WSU and purchase a W Card this week and go in the draw to win!

Pack 1: Urban Ink. 2 hour appointment, t-shirt, and tattoo after care product, 3 Chiefs tickets, a 1 month membership at the Uni Rec Centre Gym, and a student VIP card at Event Cinemas.

Pack 2: $250 voucher for Dezigner Hair. 3 Chiefs tickets, a 1 month membership at the Uni Rec Centre Gym, and a student VIP card at Event Cinemas.

20 Feature

21 December 2012. The day when the earth’s coreoverheats to the point that there is a displacement in the earth’s crust and humanity perishes. Luckily, in a prime (and pro-US) example of neoliberal economics tempered with limited state intervention in the name of the public good, earth’s cultural artifacts, as well as all of the important and rich people, are saved due to the construction of massive arks.

Or so Hollywood tells us.

Like it or not, this year is 2012: the supposed year of theapocalypse. The year, if you believe the rumours, thatthe ancient civilisation of the Mayans predicted would bethe fi nal year of the earth. Or rather, the end of the fourthworld. According to the Mayans, there has not been just one world, but four. Mayan literature focuses on the idea of ‘world ages’, and their calendar simply counted how many days it had been the current world’s creation date. For this reason, it was given the somewhat smart-alec name of the ‘long-count’ calendar. Modern scholars calculate that the Mayans believed the world was created on the 11th of August, 3114 BC.

So how do we get from here to the end of the world?It all lies in the way Mayans numbered things. Ratherthan our modern-day metric system, the Long Countcalendar focussed on multiples of twenty and eighteen.Units of time consisted 1 k’in (1 day), 1 winal (20 k’in,or 20 days), 1 tun (18 winal, or 360 days), 1 k’atun (20tun, or 7200 days) and 1 b’ak’tun (20 k’atun, or 144,000days). According to Mayan literature, the previous worldage ended after 13 b’ak’tun, so to calculate the end of thefourth age, all we have to do is calculate 13 b’ak’tun (or 13lots of 144,000 days) from the current age’s creation date,which gives us 21 December 2012.

So how will the earth actually end? Although Mayan textsdon’t actually discuss the topic, some people believe thatit is more than coincidental that the summer solstice(when the Sun reaches its highest point on its path) willalso occur on 21 December 2012. This means that the Sunand the Milky Way, for the perspective of the Earth, willappear to have come into alignment, supposedly leadingto some un-named horror and the apocalypse.

As cool as this sounds, however, scholars of the Mayancivilisation have stated that ancient Mayan texts don’tseem to show any sign of predicting the end of the world– in fact, some are even prophecies of things happeningafter 13 b’ak’tun have passed. Similarly, astronomersdiscredit the idea of any actual galactic alignmenthappening on this date, instead forecasting that anapocalypse is more likely to occur when the Sun exhaustsits hydrogen core and becomes a red giant, leading to theend of life on earth because the Sun would simply be tooclose to Earth for anything to survive – luckily, predictionsare that this will happen in about fi ve billion years time, sowe should be okay for now.

So why, then, are we so obsessed with the end of theworld? The topic has certainly been used extensively inpopular culture over the past decade, with a variety of fi lmand literary works linking either to the 2012 phenomenonor some cataclysmic end-of-the-world event – or evenboth. In addition to the 2012 fi lm, there were the comet/meteor movies of the late 1990s: remember Armageddonand Deep Impact? A few years later saw The Core, wherethe earth’s electromagnetic fi eld begins to collapse. Morerecently, fi lm-makers have touted out the climate-changefocussed The Day After Tomorrow, with 2012 referencesalso appearing in Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol. EvenBritney has gotten caught up in the apocalypse theme,with the absolutely abysmal video for Till the World Endsdisplaying a post-apocalyptic future and scantily-cladBritney dancing underground.

Most major world religions, and particularly theAbrahamic religions, also seem to have a belief in someform of apocalypse or end times. Islam, for instance, tellsof the Yawm al-Qiyāmah, or the Day or Resurrection,and Allah’s fi nal assessment of humanity, which precedesthe end of the world. Our in-depth research at Wikipedianotes that Islam teaches of several signs that predict theend of the world, including people entering the religion ofGod in crowds, an earthquake that causes mountains tocrash down, and smoke that will envelop the wind whichwill cause non-believers to get sick before Allah sends acool wind to take all of the believers to Heaven. On the other hand, Judaism teaches of the Messianic era, or a time of global peace and harmony where the Messiah

Apocalypse Now... or in 2014...or never... pack a fl ashlightWith Charlie Gillard

21Feature

comes to usher in an era of global peace. Interestingly,Judaism teaches that this Messianic era has apredetermined date, but can actually come earlier throughreligious observance and good deeds. Some Jewishscholars believe that this predetermined point is actually6000 years after the year of creation, which (if one followsthe Hebrew calendar) means that the Messianic era willbegin before the year 2240.

Finally, Christianity teaches of the End Times as an eraoccurring just before the second coming of Christ to earth– at which point believers will be raptured and ascendto Heaven. Different denominations of Christianity havedifferent views as to what will actually happen during theend-times, including earthquakes, natural disasters, wars,catastrophes, and the emergence of the Antichrist, who isessentially Satan’s copy of Christ, and who will attempt towin supporters by creating a false world peace. FuturistChristians believe that the Antichrist will also place amark on the right hands or foreheads of his believers,and that this mark will be integral to being a part ofthe End Times’ economic system. Microchip paymentsupporters – beware. Seventh-day Adventists, on theother hand, believe that the end times will begin whenthe United States (who they see as the “two horned beast”in Revelations) works in conjunction with the CatholicChurch to force people to worship on Sundays.

Obviously, other religions and belief systems have theirown views on the end of times, which would take farlong to repeat here (though Wikipedia does make forsome interesting reading). That said, some are morenotable than others. Pastafarians (who worship theFlying Spaghetti Monster), for instance, believe thatpredicted earthquakes are not the sign of the end timesand are merely caused by a decrease in the number ofpirates. Other religions even believe that the Apocalypseis occurring now: Jehovah’s Witnesses currently teachthe end of times began in 1914 and that soon we will seea 1000 year period where God has cleansed the earth ofwickedness, all people will be resurrected to life to learnabout God, and Christ will rule of the new earth with144,000 co-rulers. Nexus wonders what might happenif you asked door-knocking Jehovah’s Witnesses if theyexpect to be part of this 144,000 cohort.

Nevertheless, if the apocalypse does happen, if probablypays to be prepared. Nexus suggests following the CivilDefence’s advice to prepare an ‘emergency survival kit’ foryour fl at, just in case that rogue Hamilton earthquake orWaikato River fl ash-fl ood occurs. It might be unlikely, butyou never know – a kit could come in handy.

If you do want to be prepared, make sure you have a largesealable container (the Warehouse sells massive 20 litreones for quite cheap) and fi ll it up with useful stuff: a torchand radio (both with spare batteries), wind and waterproof clothing, as well as some good shows, a fi rst aid kit and essential medicines, blankets or sleeping bags, pet supplies (if needed), toilet paper and large rubbish bags in case you need to make an emergency toilet, face and dust marks, plus enough food and water to last you three days: think heaps of canned or dried food (don’t forget a tin opener!), at least 3 litres of drinking water per person per day, and extra water for washing and cooking. It’s probably advisable to have a gas bbq or something nearby so that you can cook – unless you’re quite happy living on cold tinned peaches or fruit salad for several days.

Nexus suggests you also include large amounts of boozeto help you deal with the stress. For more informationon civil defence and general apocalypse preparationcheck out www.getthru.co.nz – and yes, it seems that thegovernment is trying to be ‘hip’ by spelling through likehow all the young’uns do on their mobile-cell-do-hickeys.Will 2012 see the beginning of the end of times /apocalypse / destruction of the earth as we know it? Nexusthinks it unlikely. However, it always pays to be prepared,just in case you chose the wrong religion and end up stuckon earth in a time of tribulation, so make sure that youhave enough food and water stored up so that you don’thave to fi ght your fl atmates to the death over a piece ofchewing gum that you’ve had in your pockets for the lastsix weeks. Don’t forget to chuck in a few Nexus issues too– we’ve heard it makes great poo paper, plus you can setit on fi re for heat!

Enjoy 2012 and let’s hope that society doesn’t break down just before Christmas – the queues at the Base will be catastrophic.

Apocalypse Now... or in 2014...or never... pack a fl ashlightWith Charlie Gillard

Being a FanboyWith Paul Barlow

Being a fanboy in New Zealand is a hard roadto travel.

As a nation our children are used to growing up in aculture dominated by sports, where the populace growsup looking up to men who run around a sports fi eld orwomen who run around courts (even though there is moremerit in being bought up revering those who choose toreverse these socially accepted norms) and where sittingin your room reading comics and watching Indiana Jonesis discouraged in favour of getting outside and playing inthe sun.

So growing up as a Fanboy sometimes means beinghidden (well it did when I was growing up back beforeit was cool), especially when you grow up in a colloquialsmall town like I did where the rats have pet roaches andthe best and brightest may one day end up on the frontpage of the local paper for scoring against Marist (and insome small towns scoring anything that’s not your cousindeserves a mention in the paper). So when you discoverthe joys of a massive event created just for people whoshare your sensibilities, it can seem too good to be true,it’s almost like the end of the world as you know it, lockedaway from the real world – it seems like Armageddon.

And that’s exactly what Armageddon is – a massivemeeting of like minded fans of all facets of popular cultureand Twilight. It is truly a place where all colours, creedsand alignments are welcomed with open mandibles.

It was something I fought for years and years to see andbe a part of – hell I almost quit a job because I was treatedbadly at work over it. At the time the company I workedfor was a sponsor of the event, so we got free tickets butour manager wasn’t keen on going. I talked him into it, sohe repaid me by making me work and taking a co-workerwho had no idea what she was going to and ended upwhining like a spoilt brat so they all left early. But theygot back in time to offer me the tickets saying, “if yougo now you’ll get half an hour to look around the place”.The business no longer exists and with my next job thecompany tended to put Stocktake around the time of theevent and ban staff from taking time off – that businessstill exists so feel free to burn it down.

I did however eventually get to one, wrangled and bribedmy way to it, thanks in no small part to an understandingmanager – and it was truly glorious.

And now Hamilton will, next month, host its fi rstArmageddon Expo – an event that has been running forover a decade in Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch.To say the news excited me understates the term “excited”to new levels. The potential was huge for Hamilton tohost the biggest bestest Armageddon expo ever, bettereven than the year Seth Green signed my copy of RobotChicken, or the year I got to have breakfast with the 7thDoctor and coffee with the voice Batman, Kevin Conroy.

It won’t be this year – because the fi rst Hamilton Expois essentially a Twilight convention and lets face facts,Twilight is a terrible franchise loved mostly by peoplegullible enough to believe a pro-life ultra-religious allegorymasked as “sexy” fi ction is real entertainment and anexcess of those people hurt my brain and if you are one ofthem perhaps you need to rethink tertiary study.

But for those not enamored with the sparkling vampires,shirtless werewolves or the fact someone actually namedTinsel is in the fi lms (and also visiting Hamilton forArmageddon) about sparkly vampires – there’s still goingto be a metric ton of goodness for you here. Don’t get mewrong – the event will still have a great atmosphere andbe a lot of fun, it will just have a heavy Twilight infl uenceas well but like a chunk of gristle in your steak and cheesepie you can eat around it.

Because the important thing to remember aboutArmageddon is that it’s not just about one thing, it’s notjust a place to see Dalek’s exterminating, Jedi battlingwith light sabers, the deck of the NCC Enterprise D, Narnmixing with Centari, Ga’ould mixing with SG teams – it’salso a place to see the latest games, try out the newesttoys, complete your collections of graphic novels or DVDs,buy random stuff, go on rides, play Yu Gi Oh, Pokemonor Magic: The Gathering, be chased by Zombies, lasertag, wrestling, dress up, see the amazing wonders of thefanboy world and live out a few fanboy dreams as well.

Take, for example, the fact Hamilton will play host toa Zombie Walk where willing volunteers, who havehad jobs working retail for years, will amble aroundtown attempting to spend money in fi ne Hamiltonestablishments. Hamilton will be over run with theundead (just like the Outback on a Friday night), it’llbe night of the Living Deanwell Residents, all out therehaving fun.Or the Great Twinkies Hunt where American candy isused in a race around the event with over 600 of thedelectable treats on offer, it’s bound to be a cream and

Feature

I did however eventually get to one, wrangled and bribedmy way to it, thanks in no small part to an understandingmanager – and it was truly glorious.

22

23Feature

sponge fi lled extravaganza of fun and potential diabetes –but if you have ever had a Twinkie you will know it’sworth it.

Then there’s special screenings to boot.Hamilton will see a screening of the latest DC Comicsanimated fi lm Justice League: Doom with some amazingvoice work from series stalwarts like Kevin Conroy (whotold me it was one of his favourites that he had worked on)and Nathan Fillion as well as veteran voice actor Tim Dalyknown better as a Doctor in some show I don’t like but mywife enjoys. There’s also an advanced screening plannedof the fi rst episode of the second season of the thoroughlyamazing Game of Thrones – a series that has quickly wonitself a devoted fan base and numerous gold statues forbeing too awesome for words.

On top of this all though, all of the events and celebritysignings and the mountains of merchandise ranging frombottles of Adipose plushy dolls through to zombie makeup kits and everything in between the expo also plays hostto several panels where you can sit and listen to the guestsregale you with stories of life in the pop culture spotlight.The fi rst one of these I went to I saw the seventh Doctoract like a dirty old man, where he announced his casting inThe Hobbit, I’ve seen Seth Green kiss strangers, SandeepParikh shirtless face humping girls, and Xander fromBuffy collecting stakes from fans.

And this was just the fi lm and TV side of the expo – it alsocaters for fans of anime and comics. While I don’t countmyself in that number the fans are usually very impressed,including my teenage daughter who last year got to meether favourite voice actor – an experience worth the priceof admission.

This year non Twilight guests include the culturalphenomenon that is Max Headroom (it’s alright if youdon’t know who he is – I’m just showing my age), JohnLevine who was in the classic Doctor Who series backwhen your parents were scared of Daleks, and PaulMcGillon from Stargate Atlantis along with the cast fromthe hit TV3 show Almighty Johnsons. There’s also a secretguest due to be revealed soon…

And for the anime fans there’s voice artists from FullMetal Alchemist, Naruto and Digimon, as well as thecosplay costume contest – always an epic sight to beholdand a great advertisement for some brands of hair gel…Oh and for those of you bought up on the printed wordcheck out Ron Marz, whose work includes some of theGreen Lantern for DC and Star Wars for Dark Horse;

or Dave Johnson who created the iconic work behindSuperman: Red Son and has worked on shows likeBatman: Beyond and The Venture Bros – they’ll be thereshowing their wares but also talking about how they gotto do what they do – and if you think perhaps academicstudy isn’t for you, you’d rather draw for a living thenthese are the people to tune in to.

So while I have heard many baulk at the thought of aglorifi ed Twilight convention, and I am certainly in thatgroup because, well in the simplest terms, the books andmovies are terrible, the important thing to experience isthe atmosphere – it’s eclectic, it’s fun and it’s exciting. Tosee people able to celebrate their passion is truly the realtreasure you’ll fi nd at Armageddon, so why not join thefun, dig out your red shirt, or your Inspector Spacetimedressing gown and join the fun…

That’s exactly what Armageddon is – a massive meeting of like minded fans of all facets of popular culture.... It is truly a placewhere all colours, creeds and alignments arewelcomed withopen mandibles.

24 Section

On Campus

Presenter/Speaker: Professor Andrew AshworthDate: Tuesday 20 March 2012Time: 6:15 PMLocation: Gallagher Academy of Performing ArtsWebsite: http://www.waikato.ac.nz/law/news-eventsVinerian Professor Andrew Ashworth’s lecture will discuss the foundations and limits of criminal liability for omissions.

WORKSHOP 2 ‘KEEPING MOMENTUM’: POSTGRADUATE RESEARCH AND STUDY.Audience: Waikato University OnlyDate: Tuesday 20 March 2012 - Tuesday 20 March 2012Time: 10:00 AM - 2:00 AMContact: postgrad@waikato.ac.nzThis workshop is intended for those higher degree postgraduate research candidates who are midway through their research. This includes candidates who have recently started or are about to begin drafting their thesis.

ECOLOGICAL EPISTEMOLOGIES: MOVING BEYOND THE MONOCULTURAL IMAGINARYDate: Wednesday 21 March 2012Time: 10:30 AMLocation: B.1.20, B BlockContact: a.m.grear@waikato.ac.nzWebsite: http://www.waikato.ac.nz/law/How we ‘know’ and how we produce and circulate ‘knowledge’ have deep implications for the construction of social power and the formation of human action in the world. This exciting symposium features Professor Lorraine Code, author of Ecological Thinking: The Politics of Epistemic Location. If you wish to attend contact Anna Grear at a.m.grear@waikato.ac.nz. Places are limited.

Winner Michelle Page and London Royal College of Music Gold Medal winner Sandra Crawshaw. OPUS ORCHESTRAPresenters: Soloists Lara Hall and Ian Parson Date: Friday 23 March 2012Time: 8:00 PMLocation: Dr John Gallagher Concert Chamber, Gallagher Academy of Performing ArtsWebsite: http://www.opusorchestra.org.nzThe orchestra presents this “Landscapes” concert with guest soloists Lara Hall (violin) and Ian Parsons (bassoon). The programme features Lilburn’s “Overture: Aotearoa”, Elgar’s “Romance” for bassoon and orchestra, “Souvenir d’un Lieu cher” by Tchaikovsky, Dvořák’s Romance and Beethoven’s “Pastoral” Symphony. Tickets available from www.ticketek.co.nz

Asking random people stupid questions.

1) What’s your name?2) If the world was going to end what’s the one thing you would want to do before it did?3) What’s your weapon of choice in a zombie apocalypse?4) Would you rather die to zombies or vampires?5) What would be your apocalypse soundtrack?

1) Ria and David2) Watch Hunger Games. Also, punch Bieber in the face. I’m not even a violent person...3) Redneck Crossbow4) Zombies; I don’t want to sparkle5) America Fuck Yeah, Danger Zone

1) Mark2) Fly an attack helicopter3) Sword4) I’d rather Zombies5) Free falling

1) Jess and Alex2) Make passionate love to the person next to me3) Chainsaw is amazing but runs out of petrol. A katana is also great, can we have both? And shoot things?4) Rather vampires minus the Twilight shit5) ALL THE MUSIC including Pirates of the Carribbean

1) Gucci2) Rap with Lil Wayne3) Remote control turret so I can GTFO4) Zombies would be worse5) Stuntin like my daddy - Lil Wayne

Entertainment24

Heading

25Opinion

How To with Alix Higby

How to: Be a social activist in 2012.

So unless you’ve been living under a rock, and even rocks these days seem to have internet access, you will have heard of, and probably seen, the online steam engine that is the KONY2012 campaign by Californian activists the Invisible Children. If not, just go and watch it now. It is a 30-minute long video. It’ll be more interesting than reading bout it anyway. And no matter how controversial it has become and whether or not you support Invisible Children and their actions, it will defi nitely get you thinking about more than what you’re going to have for dinner.

ANYWAY. This brings us to this weeks ‘how to:’

After seeing the Kony video and getting caught up in all these emotions about how the world isn’t fair and you want to do something about it, but you’re really just one person and one person can’t make a difference, blah blah blah “I think I’m going to buy a KONY2012 action kit cos that seems easy”… there are a few things you need to consider before you start sharing videos, jumping on bandwagons and printing your ‘social activist’ business cards.

1) Do your research. Talk to people. Don’t just take what some elaborately constructed MTV-esque video has told you as gospel. This is one carefully chosen point of view and there are a million more out there. Haven’t even heard of Uganda before? Look at a map. See how it’s

close to Sudan? Sudan’s had it’s own issues in the news lately too, could be something there. And oh look, there’s Rwanda, wasn’t there a movie about holidaying there?? Yes, that’s right. This step addresses ignorance. Which I thiiink is what the Invisible Children were aiming for.

2) Decide, with all that information in front of you (even if it is just Wikipedia) what your stance is on the issue and act on that. If you truly believe the Invisible Children have a solid gold plan of attack then bandwagon away. If you have some doubts, then do some more research and try and come up with something else. You can still share the video though; it’s pretty nifty.

Bottom line, Invisible Children have set a precedent. This is a new way to raise awareness and get people thinking. Even if you disagree with them they’ve still achieved their goal; you now know. Also, I’d like to remind you that countries’ are complicated. There are political issues at play here, and jumping into supporting something you know very little about is dangerous. Do you know exactly what your charity or organisation is intending on doing? Do they want military action? Do they want to be Ghandi? Make sure it is something you believe in wholeheartedly fi rst. You don’t want to be supporting something that starts dropping bombs, hating on Jews or hijacking planes. Just sayin’.

Opinion 25Opinion 25

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Endless Boogiew/ X-ray Fiends

Tuesday 13th Static Bar on Hood St,

9pm start.

?

Six60tickets six60.co.nz

Thur/Fri 15th/16thAltitude on Alexandra St,

7pm - 11pm

Tickets at six60.co.nz

An Emerald Cityw/ Bond Street Bridge and

Gang Violins, Yot Club

Friday 16thYot Club, Raglan,doors open 9pm

$15 pre sale (undertheradar.co.nz) or

$20 on the door.

ThunderdykesThe Beggar's Way and

Viking Weed

Friday 16thStatic Bar on Hood St

doors open 9pm

FREE!

St Patricks Party

Saturday 17thAgenda on Victoria St,

FREE!

Miss Burlesque NZ

Saturday 17thAltitude on Alexandradoors open 7.30pm

followed by massive St. Patricks Party!

tickets eventfinder.co.nz

The Collective presents

Drum n Bass, Glitch Hop and Dubstep

w/ Kaon, Hybrid, Breadman, Phonetics and Dold.

Saturday17thFlow Bar on Victoria St,

doors open 9pm

FREE!

Fevah FM & Nexus present:

SKINT

Wednesday 14thHouse on Hood

7pm - 11pm

$5 beer & pizza from 6pm + Fevah FM DJ's

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I’m asking our smartest teams to do something for New Zealand. Each year, hundreds of thousands of New Zealanders – of all

ages – are being injured by falls in their own home. And all up, falls cost our country almost two billion dollars a year.

So if you think your team’s got the kind of Kiwi ingenuity that makes big problems seem small, or even just want a shot at a

$10,000 cash prize, check out ideanation.co.nz. Your idea could make New Zealand safer for all of us.

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28 Entertainment28 Entertainment

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0800 WAIKATO www.waikato.ac.nz

Election of a student member of Council for 2012Nominations are now open for the 2012 student member of the University Council. All enrolled students are eligible to nominate someone or be nominated as a candidate. Nominations close 12noon Friday 30 March.

Interested? Head to the website to find out what’s involved – www.waikato.ac.nz/about/corporate/student-member

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Lifestyle 31

33Food

Half BakedWith Mel

Cupcakes!

If any of you read my column last year you would know that I am a tiny (or gigantic, whatever) bit of a coffee snob, and that I don’t do franchise coffee. Well during the fi nancial desperation and boredom of the Uni holidays I crossed over to the dark side and took a job in a coffee franchise in Hamilton. It was the single worst decision of my entire career. I thought that I could give a placated nod, do things their way and take home my paycheque every week. Well it turns out I can’t, franchise coffee is devil and is soul suckingly evil. I advise anyone who loves coffee and wants to keep their soul to stay right away from it ...blegh.

Anyway, on to bigger and brighter things, CAKE! Do you like maple syrup? Do you like cupcakes? Of course you do! (if you don’t, what the hell is wrong with you? FREAK!)

I found this recipe a couple of years ago and it has served me well through many many many batches of emergency cupcakes (who doesn’t need an emergency cupcake every now and then?)

If you hadn’t picked it up from my bread recipe a couple of weeks ago (btw, did you try it yet?) I can be a bit of a lazy baker. I mean, I bake often (what did you bake in the last week? Huh...HUH??) But the recipes that tend to stick in my head are the easy ones, the REALLY easy ones. This cupcake recipe is ridiculous, you literally throw everything into the bowl at once and stir it, and your cupcake batter is ready. Just as I was attracted the Pane Veloce because it was no-knead, I loved this recipe because I didn’t have to cream the butter and sugar....and I damned well hate creaming butter and sugar. This recipe makes around 24 tiny cupcakes so I usually halve the recipe.

Maple Syrup Cupcakes

125g softened butter,1 cup self-raising fl our (or make your own S/R fl our: 1 Cup plain fl our + 1 teaspoon baking powder), 1/3 cup dark brown sugar, 1/4 cup maple syrup, 2 eggs.

Throw everything in a bowl, stir till pale and combined. Spoon into cupcake cases and bake at 180C for 10-15 minutes until they spring back when poked. Now your delicious cupcakes are ready to be smothered in butter and devoured. Good work team! (This recipe is from the lovely Beverly, at ‘The adventures of Beverly’ on LiveJournal)

The other great thing about this recipe is its fl exibility, you can add whatever you want and it doesn’t seem to hurt it. If you add anything liquidish that has a sugar content you just need to lessen or replace the maple syrup or brown sugar or you will get explodey cupcakes. I will share with you some of the multitude of variations I have made with this recipe.

Maple Syrup and chocolate cupcakes: as above, jam a couple of chocolate buttons into each cupcake before baking.Peanut butter cupcakes: add 1-2 Tablespoons of peanut butter, minus a tiny bit of maple syrup and probably add a little milk to balance out the stickyness of the peanut butter.Mojito cupcakes: minus maple syrup, smush up (I use my mortar and pestle) some raw sugar, mint liqueur and lime juice. Enjoy cupcakes that taste like a cocktail. Lemon cupcakes: minus brown sugar and maple syrup, add ½ cup of white sugar instead, add grated lemon rind. Bonus: make icing with ½ cup icing sugar, a little knob (heh) of butter and any spare grated lemon rind, add boiling water a tiny bit at a time mixing till smooth each time until you have a slightly thin icing (about the consistency of chocolate sauce) and drizzle over the cupcakes. Any kind of jam cupcakes: minus maple syrup, add jam in its place. Yum. Spice cupcakes: minus maple syrup, add golden syrup in its place. Add mixed spice or ground ginger or whichever spice you want them to taste like. So, now I’ve written about cupcakes for the last half hour, and so now I’m craving cupcakes. If you’ll excuse me I have to get in my kitchen and make up an excuse to make a batch of cupcakes. Maybe I can add chocolate sauce instead of maple syrup and call it professional experimentation. Ciao!

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Choose your favourite mobile web feature at m.waikato.ac.nz and go in the draw

to win this Samsung Galaxy smartphone.

To access all this and more go to m.waikato.ac.nz

Need help? Lost? Got a class?Find your way at m.waikato.ac.nz

There’s no stopping youE kore e taea te aukati i a koe

The University of Waikato mobile web allows interactive access to a number of helpful features for all students.

Check your timetable, computer availability, top up Unicash and more at m.waikato.ac.nz on your smartphone or tablet.

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WE WANT PEOPLE TO DO BAR REVIEWS.TO WRITE POLITICAL COLUMNS.

HELP US WITH WRITING THE NEWS.WE WANT COMICS STRIP ARTISTS.

AND MUCH MORE.

Like words and stuff? Wanna bring back newsy integrity? Or are you just narcissistic enough to want to see your name in print? Then perhaps Nexus is for you! We are looking for writers, columnists, reviewers, and dragon slayers. It's a new pretty Nexus, with new pretty pictures. But don't fool yourselves, it's the same old the same old content and we're looking for people to peddle it. Send column ideas and writing samples through to editor@nexusmag.co.nz or don't, whatever, we're not your dad, but don't make us turn this magazine around. Now go to your room!

what we want:

Offers are available for a limited time, are subject to availablilty and are not available in conjunction with any other offer. R18 for the service of alcohol. Host responsibility limits apply. Zone Bar is a supervised area.

$5 TuesdayOnly $5 per person per game of tenpin bowling or Megazone all day.

(Not valid during school holidays)

Quiz night7pm every Wednesday in Zone Bar. Grab a group and get quizzical! It’s FREE to enter and there are prizes to be won!

Student Thursday- Tenpin bowling just $4 per person per game.- Happy Hour! $5 per bottle of Corona or Speight’s Summit between 7pm and 9pm.- $7.50 Beef burger and fries.

Available from 5pm on presentation of a valid student ID.

Fantastic dailylunch deals

$8 lunch in Zone Bar.

Three di�erent dishes to choose from each week.

SKYCITY HAMILTON

37Entertainment

ShapeshifterInterview with P Digsss, by Nick Johnston

1. Since the release of The System Is a Vampire in 2009, what have you been up to musically and whereabouts have you been touring?Since we did System Is a Vampire, we have released a remix album featuring Hospital label-mates Netsky Bcomplex Nutone. We have also toured Europe and Australia every year since. Epic summer tours here inNZ too.

2. Are you currently working on any new recordings? Either Shapeshifter or solo.We are currently working on a new album now. We have a few tunes that we have already tested out at live gigs. Things are looking good, we’re well stoked on what’sto come.

3. In the changing record industry environment, how have you and Shapeshifter dealt with the changes? Is there any difference in the way you recorded and toured in the early 2000s compared to today?Yeah, the industry has changed a lot and it needed to. So many fat cats for along time were just sitting in their offi ces making mad cash off artists who didn’t know the ropes. We are an independent crew, we have our own record label (Truetone Rec) and we make the decisions. The process of recording is pretty much the same. We record at home studios or where ever we fi nd a comfortable space that we are happy with. We own a lot of nice equipment now so when its time to get busy, it’s tonnes of fun, but i think our live show is what got us through. Playing and touring just the right amount without over saturation.

4. What would be your top 5 albums, and do any of them have an infl uence on the music you produce?Stevie Wonder - Inner Vision. This stuff made me smile as a child and still does today. D’angelo Voodoo, no one sings like this dude, amazing! The Roots - Things Fall Apart. Live hip hop at its fi nest. The Cinematic Orchestra - Everyday. Such an epic emotive album. Jill Scott - Who is Jill Scott. The poetry and fi nesse of this woman is astounding. All of these albums have inspired and infl uenced myself and the rest of my band in so many ways, whether it be lyrical, musical or just the righttime and place.

5. If you had the chance to collaborate with any musician, alive or dead, who would it be and why?So many artists I’d love to collaborate with. I think James Blake or Little Dragon would be amazing to do music with. They are both on such a progressive wave, I’d like to ride some of that good stuff i think.

6. How do you feel about the current crop of new NZ artists who have been inspired by your music? Any favourites or ones to watch out for?There is a lot of new music from NZ coming out, it’s a beautiful thing. I grew up listening to a lot of overseas music. Nowadays, it’s more homegrown. The less we try to copy american pop the better, because that shit is garbage! I haven’t been blown away by an up and coming NZ act for a while but there must be something out there.

7. You have an upcoming gig at Flow. Tell us a little bit about your solo set and what fans might be able to expect from the show?My solo DJ/MC set consists of a lot of music I have been collecting and been given while touring around the world. I’m really enjoying a lot of the new genres of dance music coming out which fuse or borrow a lot of styles off others genre with different tempos. I’m gonna be bringing a big of goodies to the Tron so I hope to see you all down at the Flow bar on the 24th. It’s gonna be a bloody doozie!

Presale tickets are available for a limited time on www.dashtickets.co.nz for $15 plus booking fee. Door sales on the night at $20. Local support acts: Mike Scherger and Raphael Henderson, DJ Frankfurter, DJ Dold and Willapede.

We had a chat to Paora Apera, better known asP Digsss from Shapeshifter, about recording, touring, his infl uences and his upcoming show at Flow on Saturday 24th March.

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38 Reviews

36

BOOK REVIEW

The Colour of MagicTerry Pratchett

The Colour of Magic is the first book in the Discworld series written by the amazing fantasy, horror and science fiction author Sir Terry Pratchett.

The Discworld is a flat world which rests upon the backs of four giant elephants, which in turn stand atop the Great A’Tuin; a giant turtle swimming through space. Rincewind is a wizard, a very pessimistic, sardonic and unskilled wizard who after certain twists of Fate collides with Twoflower, a rather naive but optimistic tourist. In fact Twoflower is the first tourist that the Discworldhas ever seen. Unfortunately for Rincewind, the peace and prosperity of the land depends upon Twoflower living long enough to get back to his distant home. The unfortunate part being that it is Rincewind’s job to ensure Twoflower’s survival. And in a land riddled with barbarians, robbers, mercenaries, invisible dragons and even Death himself, this is to be no easy feat.

Sir Terry Pratchett is an English author with an immense talent at writing fantasy novels. His writing style flows superbly and is easy to pick up and put down, although if you’re anything like me you won’t want to put it down! The Colour of Magic, like all of the other Discworld books I have read, is packed full of satire, quick wit, elaborate descriptions and at times is just absolutely nonsensical. Which, for me personally makes this book an amazing read. I personally love British comedy and I find Pratchett’s books really appeal to my sense of humour. Pratchett uses footnotes to add background and depth, but more often than not for humour and a unique commentary on the narrative.

I love the way Pratchett develops his characters in such depth and illuminates them with his amazing command of the English language. My personal favourite characters are the Luggage and Death. The Luggage is a large chest made of sapient pearwood (a magical, highly intelligent plant, which is very rare). The Luggage will follow its owner anywhere;

Quintessential ReadingLiterary Lunacy with Courtney Q

I mean ANYWWHERE, and moves on hundreds of little legs that sprout from its undercarriage. In the book Sourcery the Luggage is described as being “half suitcase, half suicidal maniac” Death is a very interesting character, although it has a similar appearance to the generic Grim Reaper and carries a scythe, Death is also a parody of the traditional Reaper. Death is very quirky in the sense that it has a very keen interest in trying to understand humanity, however without any social skills and a completelack of a sense of humour Death just can’t seem to figure it out. Rincewind and Death have a very complicated relationship, but I’m not going to tell you about it. You will have to read the book.

All up Terry Pratchett is one of my top five favourite authors, and The Colour of Magic is definitely one of my top five favourite books by Sir Pratchett. I thoroughly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys a good fantasy novel.

The Colour of Magic sits at number 93 on the BBC’s Big Read list. Pratchett has four books in the Big Read top 100, and fifteen within the top 200.

The Light Fantastic is the second Discworld novel and is a direct continuation from the Colour for Magic. This is a unique feature as the rest of the Discworld books can essentially be read in any order (unless you’re meticulous like me and insist on reading them in the order they were written).

For those of you who aren’t big readers I thoroughly recommend ‘Terry Pratchett’s The Colour of Magic’ a two part television adaptation of Pratchett’s books; The Colour of Magic and The Light Fantastic.

Quintessential ReadingLiteracy Lunacy with Courtney Q

The Complete Prophecies of Nostradamus

-Translated, Edited and Interpreted by Henry C. Roberts

So I was sitting in the Directors offi ce contemplating intensely as to what book I should review for you fi ne (hopefully more sex knowledge clued up) students this week. So apparently we’re hitting the ground running with this whole 2012 Apocalypse theme this week. Guess what?! There is no 2012 Apocalypse!! Why? Because Nostradamus said so!!

Michel de Nostradamus was a French apothecary (for you simpletons an apothecary is essentially an olden day chemist) and apparently he could also see the future... By reading the star charts and horoscopes of the past and translating them to the future. Although he fi rmly denied being a prophet there are multiple ‘fan’ websites devoted to his prophecies and calling him a true Prophet.

Here’s one of his ‘Prophecies’: “Ennosigee, fi re of the centre of the earth, Shall make an earthquake of the New City, Two great rocks shall long time war against each other, After that, Arethusa shall colour red the fresh river.”-Nostradamus, Complete Prophecies of Nostradamus, Century I, Quatrain 87

Apparently this prophecy is about the 9/11 World Trade Centre aeroplane mishap... Fire referring to well, theexplosions and fi re, ‘New City’ being New York City and ‘Two great rocks’ being the two Twin Towers. Although I don’t see how the Twin Towers were ever warring against each other. And I can’t for the life of me fi gure out how a Greek Goddess even found herself remotely related to 9/11....

So some of the Nostradamus Prophecies do bear vague links to historical events, the issue being a lot bear vague links to multiple historic events. But I guess when you have close to a thousand prophecies which are mostly vague and undated; some of them are going to bear coincidence to history.

As far as trying to read this book goes it’s rather start-stopy... This may be because it’s written in quatrains (a complete poem consisting solely of four lines). Or it could

be because I kept falling asleep while attempting to read it. As you know from my previous reviews I’m rather pedantic about reading books from start to fi nish and reading a series in the correct order. This book is much more fun to let fall open and then pick a random quatrain to read (and laugh at its absurdity). Also the sentence structure leaves a lot to be desired, but I guess that’s what happens when you translate things from beautifully, fl owing French to English. And although I don’t speak French, I believe in French the quatrains rhyme which would probably make reading them more enjoyable. I must say this translated edition is from 1947 so some of the more recent events to happen aren’t linked to the Nostradamus Prophecies. However there are still somegood interpretations of what the prophecies might mean. I like the part where Nostradamus predicts the rise of Hitlerand World Wars I and II.

So if you want to believe in the Nostradamus mumbo jumbo ambiguous crap, then feel free. And you know what? Congratulations!! You have another 5000 years to live!! Why? Because Nostradamus predicted the end of the world in year 7000 when the Sun destroys the Earth. Meanwhile when the year 7000 comes, and passes I’ll be laughing in my grave, ‘cause us scientifi cally minded people know the Sun isn’t set to destroy the Earth for another few billion years. So humanity is safe for now... From the Sun anyhow.

So if you enjoy a good read I don’t recommend reading this book. I just wasted too much of my life reading it... But I suppose that’s what happens when you issue out a book that hasn’t been outside of the library since 2009.

Tickets available from the WSU office plus a $5.00 booking fee. No booking fee applies if you present your W Card.

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