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Michael Hochstetler

I must please this person. I won’t be ok if they are upset with me. I must fix this person. I won’t be ok if they are not happy. I must persuade this person to see it my way. I won’t be ok if we disagree. I must avoid this person. I won’t be ok when I interact with them.

In short, Satan uses anxiety to trap us. Pleasing, fixing, con-trolling, or avoiding are indicators that anxiety is running our lives. By contrast, dealing constructively with anxiety frees us to recognize other options—options that give us relation-al freedom: I can love others without needing to make them happy. I can help others without taking responsibility for their prob-lems. I can speak truth without needing to force others into my mold. I can offer my views and allow others to make up their own minds. I can set boundaries with others while staying engaged with them.

These are not easy options. Practicing them can be risky and difficult. (It should also be noted that some anxiety-provoking relationships are best avoided in some extreme situations. No one should be criticized as “avoiding” when that is the case.) Having options for healthy relating, howev-er, is certainly a lot more hopeful than being stuck with the limited and unhealthy choices anxiety tries to force upon us.

Dealing with anxiety helps us to love. Jesus commands us to “love one another, as I have loved you.” (John 13:34) How does Jesus love? If there is one thing that characterizes the love of Jesus it is courage. He was free to give fully of Himself because He trusted His Heavenly Father and courageously faced a needy and hostile world. We often struggle to follow this example; but the more we do so, the more freedom we will have in relating to one another.

Anxiety is one of the toughest things we experience. It impacts every area of life. Some of the greatest impact is in relation-ships. As believers, we are called to exam-ine and deal with obstacles to healthy re-lating. Being aware of relational anxiety—anxious feelings about people and relation-

ships—is helpful in moving closer to others and resolving conflict. What does this look like?

First, be aware of the anxiety others may be feeling. This is important because anxiety often comes in disguise. Many people don’t usually tell you, “I’m feeling anxious.” Their anxiety may come out as criticalness, control, or distance. Being aware of this possibility can help put others’ behav-ior in perspective. Does he withdraw because he doesn’t care about people or because he feels nervous in groups? Is she being critical because she feels superior or because she feels agitated? Is this group of people trying to be con-trolling or are they afraid? Clearly, anxiety should not be used to excuse sinful behavior. We are called to make right choices whatever our feelings. Yet we are also called to avoid judging others (Romans 14:10). Being aware of rela-tional anxiety can help us be curious rather than judgmen-tal when others relate in unhelpful ways.

Second, be aware of your own relational anxiety. We no-tice the upsetting behavior in others, but we may miss how we are personally being impacted by it—the knot in the stomach, the high blood pressure, or the negativity that creeps into our thoughts and speech. Recognizing the impact of anxiety is a vital step toward relational freedom.

Third, examine your beliefs about relationships. Relational anxiety can impact how we view people and relationships, leading to unexamined beliefs that constrain how we in-teract. Consider some examples:

- Jesus

250 Meadow Lane, Conestoga, PA 17516 Phone: 717-871-0540 Fax: 717-871-0547

E-mail: info@life-ministries.com Web: www.life-ministries.com

Volume XXXII No.3 Newsletter September 2019

Facing Relational Anxiety

James Mast Director of Development/Counselor

As I reflect on the Mark 2 ac-count of Jesus healing the para-lytic, it stirs something deep in my soul. I can recall times of hopelessness when I have been

carried to the feet of Jesus by faithful friends. In our journey of healing and dependency on God, we in turn begin to carry others to the Great Physician. It’s with this vision that my wife Sherilyn and I, along with our six children, moved from Northern Virginia to Lancaster County to join the team at Life Counseling Ministries. Our background includes service in overseas missions, providing shelter for victims of abuse in the local community, and ordination to the ministry—serving congregations in Ohio and Virginia. Our passion is to sit with the hurting, joining in their journey of finding healing at the feet of the Wonderful Counselor.

Meet Our New Staff

Katrina Glick Receptionist at Spring Garden office

I was born and raised in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, the second oldest of 5 children. After graduating, I worked at a local bakery for several years. At age 19, I moved to northern Indiana to teach school. After one year, I returned

home to teach at Pequea Christian School. Ivan and I got married in August of 2018 and are currently living in New Holland, Pennsylvania. Experiences at Life Ministries have been intertwined in my life since 2014 when I sought out personal counseling. I was full of pain and questions and Life Ministries became my Peniel— the place where I saw the face of God. A few years after concluding the personal counseling, I was back again with my fiancé for premarital counseling. Once again, the experience was rich and challenging. While Ivan and I were dating, we realized we shared a de-sire to participate in the Counselor Training Workshop Life holds each year. We applied and were accepted for the fall of 2018. That began a season of difficult personal work. During the CTW, I was repeatedly invited to take the pain of recent losses to my Father and allow Him to speak truth. In the journey of loss, brokenness, and healing, He began to show me His heart for His children in their pain: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Ps. 34:18) “… A bruised reed He will not break, and a faintly burning wick He will not quench…” (Is. 42:3) The journey continues today. In this place between Eden and heaven, we will always face difficulty; but the Lord has not forsaken us here. As I continue to bring Him my pain, questions, and sin, He keeps showing me more of His heart for me and all His children. My spirit is bolstered by the assurance that “… He who began a good work in [me] will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Phil. 1:6) I’m deeply grateful and honored to be part of the work here at Life Ministries. I believe heartily in our Father’s re-demptive and healing work as we bring our brokenness to Him. I’ve been met by God at Life, and I rejoice that He continues to meet His children as they journey here.

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Overcoming Depression Seminar

held at

Penn Valley Christian Retreat 7980 Ferguson Valley Road

McVeytown, PA 17051

September 6-8, 2019

Coordinator: Joshua Strickler

General Sessions: When Life Throws Us Curves - Dave Myer

Understanding Depression - Joshua Strickler Being Wounded; Finding Healing - Dave Myer

Watching Eagerly for His Return - Glenn Hoover

Workshops: Rejection to Freedom - Glenn Hoover

The Hindrance of Fear - Dave Myer Sit Still, My Daughter - Hannah Beiler

Psychotropic Medication - Joshua Strickler

Cost: $65 for lodging and meals

To register Call: 717-899-5000

Email: pennvalleycr@gmail.com

Anabaptist Awareness Symposium

on Sexual Abuse

Educating church leaders, people helpers, and teachers

November 15-16, 2019 Ephrata Business Center, Ephrata, PA

For more information and to register:

Website: www.anabaptistawareness.org

Email: anabaptistawareness@gmail.com

Phone: 800-479-9715

Father/Son Retreat A few reflections from this year’s retreat

From a dad: “I think I can honestly say this is the best weekend I have ever had with my son.”

From a son: “I enjoyed the fellowship around the campfire and the frisbee football. The father/son time was the most meaningful to me.”

From a dad: “It’s been very good to be affirmed by other men this week-

end.”

For the cook: “The food was outstanding! You’ve left quite an impression on us.”

From a son: “The retreat was both fun and encour-aging for me. I especially enjoyed the devotions and being with my dad.”

In the Spring of 2019, Mark

and Starla Schlabach ended

their time at Life Counseling

Ministries to pursue new

paths of service to the Lord.

The Board and Staff of Life

Counseling Ministries would

like to recognize and thank

Mark and Starla for their

many years of investment in

the ministry. Over the past 20

years Mark and Starla have

served as counselors to many clients. Mark also served

as Director of Development, Groundskeeper, and Fi-

nancial Counselor. Starla’s domestic skills were fre-

quently noticed in addition to her work with people.

We will all miss you deeply, and we wish you God’s

richest blessing in the next phase of His calling. The

following reflection and blessing are offered by Joshua

Strickler.

Mark and Starla, there are many things we notice in times of transition like we now face. We can reflect on how your lives have been part of the fabric of Life Counseling Ministries for the last 20 years. We may ponder the many transitions you’ve weathered as part of this ministry. We can, with gratefulness, reflect on the ways you have served the community

through your ministry to people who came through our doors. We enjoy the way God’s Spirit has gifted you personally and has used you in His Kingdom. We notice these things in micro as we reflect on specific comments people have made about the care you offered them in difficult times. We notice these things on the larger scale as we consider the ongoing impact you’ve had, organizationally, on Life Counseling Ministries. These reflections are good because they draw us to the goodness, faithfulness, and the mercy of our God.

In Psalm 90 the Psalmist begins his prayer by align-ing himself with the character of God. He then re-flects on the finiteness of man. In this place of awareness, the contrast of man’s smallness against God’s greatness, he makes a staggering request. I want the Psalmist’s plea to be the blessing that un-folds as you leave Life Counseling Ministries for the new things to which God is calling you. In compari-son to God’s eternal sovereignty, Psalm 90 contrasts man as being like a weed that grows up in the morn-ing and is cut down at evening. And then he says, “Let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands…”

May God show us His beauty by establishing the work of Mark and Starla’s hands.

King of all creation, would you do this through what has been done, and what will be done. Amen!

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2019 Upcoming Events

• Depression Seminar at Penn Valley Retreat, Sept. 6-8. Coordinator: Joshua Strickler (See ad inside.)

• Night of Music - Sunday, Oct. 20, at Ephrata Business Center, 6:00 pm.

• Counselor Training Workshop - Nov. 7-9.

Ten-Course Subjects Offered this Year

(Prerequisite course: Core 1, Lab 1)

• Marriage & Family, Val Yoder - October 21-23 • Psych Classes - cancelled for 2019. To be offered in 2020

Prayer & Praises

• Thank God for a good Father/Son Retreat.

• Thank God for the 6 ladies who took the Summer Inten-sive class and pray that they would continue to experi-ence Jesus’ healing.

• Pray for Sam & Cathie Gingerich and family as they con-tinue on their grief journey. Also remember them as they walk with their son Matt on his cancer journey.

• Pray for Val Yoder preparing to teach the Marriage and Family class in October.

• Pray for the ladies coming for the Healing Path 2-week intensive in October and for those leading it.

• Pray for the trainees coming for the first weekend of Counselor Training in November.

Life Executive Board Lynn Zimmerman, Chairman Larry Rutt, Treasurer

Titus Martin, Asst. Chairman Glenn Hoover, Asst. Treasurer

Kenneth Kauffman, Secretary John Fisher, Board Member

Kevin Hahn, Asst. Secretary

Life Staff

Sam & Cathie Gingerich, Administrator/Counselors

James Mast, Director of Development/Counselor

Elaine Yoder, Counselor

Joshua Strickler, Counselor

Darla Hackman, Counselor

Naomi Zimmerman, Counselor

Hannah Beiler, Counselor

Dave Myer, Counselor

Michael Hochstetler, Counselor

Norma Martin, Office Manager

Brenda Hershberger, Receptionist/Secretary

Katrina Glick, Spring Garden Office Receptionist

Glenn & Judy Hoover, Groundskeeper/Domestics

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Life Counseling Ministries is a nonprofit 501 (c)(3) organization established to provide financial, marriage, individual counseling, workshops and seminars. This newsletter is published quarterly and is available to interested persons at no cost.

NONPROFIT ORG.

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LANCASTER, PA

Life Counseling Ministries

250 Meadow Lane

Conestoga, PA 17516

Return Service Requested

Volunteers to tear off and replace the roof on main building in Oct. 17-18. Contact Glenn Hoover at

717-314-5137.

6-8 ladies to help houseclean the building Oct. 25 or 26. Contact the office if you can help.

Volunteers for the Leola Thrift Shoppe

Call 717-656-4952 or stop by the Thrift Shoppe.

Thrift Shoppe Manager: Rosanna Stoltzfus