NEGATIVE SELF TALK

Negative self-talk is a self-blame. Obviously, what we blame ourselves about, or even that we are self-blaming can be traces to our early experiences. In effect, it is built into our software.

Expression of thoughts of feelings which are counter-productive and have the effect of demotivating oneself.

Negative self-talk may disrupts concentration and performance. It may involve doubts and questions about the likelihood. Negative self-talk diverts attention from the skills and strategies necessary for optimal performance and is detrimental to performance.

Sports person may be unaware of negative self-talk as it may occur automatically or unintentionally.

Examples of negative self-talk:

1. “This looks stupid. I know I won’t have fun.” (How do you know, without any evidence, since the event is in the future? Change your assumption to “this will be fun” and your whole attitude will change.)

2. When you’re complimented on your work, you say, “Oh, that’s nothing.” (If someone compliments you, obviously they see the value in your work. Why don’t you? Instead, simply say, “Thank you!”)

3. “I can’t ever lose those last 10 pounds!” What you focus on, you attract and create. (Change to “I’m at my ideal weight.” Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want.)

4. “That’s not fair!” (Life doesn’t always measure up to your ideals of what it should be like – relax and let it be; change what you can, and be okay with what you can’t change.)

5. “I couldn’t take it anymore if she left me!” (Breakups are difficult, but you can survive them and even thrive because of them. Don’t magnify the catastrophe. Instead, let yourself imagine yourself thriving in the aftermath of any personal crisis.)

6. “I never do well in school.” (Global generalization is unhealthy. You are limiting yourself severely with statements like this! Look at your real and perceived shortcomings as opportunities for growth: “I’m learning about and developing my skills in…”)

7. “My soup was too salty and now the whole dinner is ruined!” (Really? What about the rest of the meal? Was the whole dinner a culinary disaster, or was the soup just not your best attempt?)

8. “I can’t have normal relationships because of the abuse I suffered as a child.” (You are giving way too much power to the past. That was then; it influenced you, yes, but you are not in that situation anymore and you have choices in how to heal your past trauma.)

9. “I’m so stupid!” (Are you? All the time? Completely, in all ways, in every way stupid? Of course not! Don’t overlook your great qualities! You can say, “That was a silly thing to do. Next time I won’t take that approach!” Learn from mistakes!)

10. “I wish I could be as pretty as…” (While it’s nice to look up to people and emulate their good qualities, you are still you. Negatively comparing yourself to others demeans who you are – a unique, interesting and valuable individual.)