Journal of Aging Studies 23 (2009) 124–129

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Journal of Aging Studies

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Narratives of suffering among older Jewish women

Robert L. RubinsteinDoctoral Program in Gerontology, Department of Sociology and Anthropology, UMBC, 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250, United States

a r t i c l e i n f o

E-mail address: rrubinst@umbc.edu.

0890-4065/$ – see front matter © 2008 Elsevier Inc.doi:10.1016/j.jaging.2008.12.005

a b s t r a c t

Article history:Received 17 August 2008Revised 16 October 2008Accepted 2 December 2008

This paper analyzes what 30 elderly Jewish women said about suffering. Their views must beunderstood in the larger context of Jewish culture in America. A fundamental question hereconcerns the degree to which the Holocaust, the ultimate in suffering for Jews, is used as apersonal comparison for the suffering of these women. Relatively fewmentioned the Holocaustin their personal narrative of suffering. Nevertheless, the Holocaust was always a silentpresence in these narratives. Our data analysis found seven themes in the in the interviewmaterial about suffering. These are: (1) a general lack of direct reference to the Holocaust as theexemplar of personal suffering; (2) a focus on the need to survive; (3) the pervasiveness ofdisease-related pain and discomfort; (4); miserable life experiences; (5) reviewing life andencountering the end of life; (6) discrimination; and (7) suffering as a cultural construct.Most people experience suffering at some point in their lives. Some may outlive their suffering,but most never forget it. While suffering at any one time may be intense, some people maygrow away from this experience, particularly when their minds are set on other things.Narratives of suffering can become important personal testimonies and, for Jews, collectivetestimony. Accessing narratives of suffering through interviewing or conversation brings suchexperiences to the surface, painful as theymight be. Yet each retelling of such a story representsa victory of sorts, as the teller says, “I am still here.”In this paper we examine narratives of suffering among 30 elderly American Jewish women age80 and above. Nearly all were born in the United States, but were the first or second generationto be born here. While the emphasis on Americanism and becoming an American was quitestrong among these immigrant generations and their children, a symbolic connection to the oldcountry was still maintained through cultural praxis.

© 2008 Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Background

The project from which these interviews were drawn isdescribed elsewhere in this issue.

Rosen and Weltman (1996a,b) suggest that Jewish cultureis characterized by a number of key concerns. These include:the centrality of the family; chosenness and suffering asshared values; intellectual achievement and financial success;and, verbal expression of feelings.

The focus on suffering in Jewish culture has a long history.Its genesis is found, no doubt, in the depredations of the JewishDiaspora and its culmination in the Holocaust. The Holocaust

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has come to symbolize the ultimate in suffering for the Jewishpeople. The informants interviewed in this study (see below)largely saw the Holocaust, if at all, at a distance. They wereyoung women during the time of the Second World War andthe period immediately prior to it, and they were American. Itwas their parents' generation, rather than their own, whobegan life in Europe and emigrated to the U.S. Most of ourinformants were born here.

To a certain extent American Jews were cushioned fromthe effects of the Holocaust. The literature on efforts to helpout endangered and beleaguered Jews prior and during theHolocaust is complex and still debated. Various scholars andcritics (Lucy Davidowicz, 1982) have mapped out differentialand conflicting positions on the meaning of the Holocaustfor its survivors. Davidowicz' conclusion, that the Holocaust

125R.L. Rubinstein / Journal of Aging Studies 23 (2009) 124–129

altered the relationship of American Jews to Judaism at large,concerns us here in that the older women we discuss in thispaper only rarely spoke in our research interviews of a per-sonal relationship to the Holocaust.

Immigrant American Jews, in the face of increasing anti-Semitism in America and, paradoxically, at the same time,increasing opportunities, became preoccupied with life in theUS. They became concerned for their own safety in regard toanti-Semitism and for their own lives in regard to family,community and nation. None of the women we intervieweddescribed salient connections to relatives who had been leftbehind in Europe; more to the point, some described how theirimmigrant families came to relatives already settled in the U.S.

Prior to and during the SecondWorldWar, effortsweremadeto rescue Europe's Jews. Responses to knowledge of theHolocaust included disbelief on the part of many while at thesame time Jewish leaders andorganizationsmadeurgent appealsto Western governments concerning the plight of the Jews.

There has been some discussion as well concerning themoment when consciousness of the Holocaust as an entireand fully genocidal phenomenon came into consciousness;this likely took place after the Second World War whenawareness of the full scope of the Holocaust and theemergence of the State of Israel changed Jews' perceptionsabout themselves. Because the Holocaust has become frontand center the focus of Jewish historical suffering, this hasmade everyday losses and slights — the things of everydaysuffering — by American Jews experienced as relatively un-important in comparison.

Judaism, in a sense, provided a context and a boundarybeyond which they could not traverse. The central fulcrum inthese women's lives remained Judaism, while their childrenand grandchildren might be pulled elsewhere. Judaism pro-vided a cultural and behavioral set of values and directionsthat shaped thesewomen's lives. In a similarway, the sufferingof the Holocaust could also not be traversed and it was hard toimagine one's own suffering being anything like that.

Analysis was undertaken through examination of olderJewish women's transcripts in response to a desire to betterunderstand the nature of suffering among the informants. Foreach transcript, we searched for, identified, and coded thoseportions of the interviews that were responses to questionsthat specifically concerned suffering. In addition, a search wasconductedon the remainderof the text for anyother referencesto suffering, negative events, or the Holocaust and coded them.Finally, each text was read in full by the author to provide abetter context for the materials that were abstracted.

What the women talked about in general

Despite our specific questions concerning definitions andthoughts about suffering, the women organized theirresponses to the interview questions both according to theirown concerns and in response to specific questions. Generaltopics that came up in these interviews included, as onemightexpect, family, health, education, finances, friendships, activ-ities and travel.With the exception of chosenness, these topicswere similar to those listed by Rosen and Weltman, above.Examining the issues related to suffering more particularly,several themes emerged from thedata analysis. These include:(1) a general lack of direct reference to the Holocaust as the

exemplar of personal suffering; (2) a focus on the need tosurvive; (3) the pervasiveness of disease-related pain anddiscomfort; (4); miserable life experiences; (5) reviewing lifeand encountering the end of life; (6) discrimination; and(7) suffering as a cultural construct. We will discuss each ofthese in turn.

The surprising lack of direct reference to the Holocaust as theexemplar of suffering

Very few of the narratives directly referred to the Holocaustas an exemplar of personal suffering. For example, Mrs. Bergnoted when comparing normal suffering to that of theConcentration Camp, “Well….as far as suffering, like if youwere in a concentration camp — that's when you knew youwere suffering. Mrs. Cohen took the lesson of the Holocaustmore personally: “My first thought was that I did not wantchildren because I didn't think this was really a nice world toraise children…Because of what happened in Germany. So, butthen, everyone was having children and I thought, “Well, Imight miss it.” And, of course, I don't regret it by any stretchof the imagination. So then, obviously, we were married fiveyears so I guess I was already 26 when Bob was born. AndBarbara was born four years later.”

Mrs. Abeles told a confused story about her family thatwas triggered by her mentioning the Holocaust:

“I will not read a book on the Holocaust. I had a Holocaustin my own family and I just won't do it. My grandmother waskilled, was stabbed to death in 1925. In Russia. Mymotherwassending her 50 dollars. It was a small town and they knew thatshe had money. And Yom Kippur night, they came in. Mygrandfather had gone to pack apples. Hewasn't homewith hissons. And one son was home. My grandmother had 11children. And they came in and stabbed her 14 times andtook the money. So now this young man, it was a grandson ofhers, brought her one of her son's children, and he waswatching. He was 11 years old, he told me. He was standingthere, and they were throwing all my cousins and aunts andbabies in the pit. They threw his mother inwith his sister, andthis one — the one brother was 15 and he was 11. And theywere standing near the pit, watching them throw these peoplein alive, and he said to his brother, come. The guard came overand said if you keep watching, we'll throw you in too. So hesaid to his brother, come on, let's go. And his brother said, Ican't, I'm exhausted, so tired. He hadn't anything to eat oranything. And they threw the brother in. And this 11 year oldwent into the woods and lived in the woods for a whole year,for the winter. And he's had no one. When he got out, he usedto go from door to door, they'd try at night to give him a littlesomething to eat. And most of them gave him cigarettes. Sothat was his livelihood. That whole year that he was in thewoods, and when he got out, here his fingers were all gone. ”This story seems tomix events from theHolocaustwith eventsfrom a pogrom or from other family strife. While confusing,the narrative discloses the depth of suffering experienced bythis individual and her family.

Perhaps these women's views of the Holocaust weresimilar to those of Mrs. Dilk, who saw the camps as a tourist::“I know when I was in Germany— I went through concentra-tion camps [as a tourist] and some of the things that they didwere unreal, and you say how can one human being do to

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another human being what they did? Well, there are peoplethat are born without emotions. I actually believe that— theydon't feel happy, they don't feel sad, they don't feel anything.They just do it. Then there are people that are completelyunharmed. They could stand up and kill 100 people in a rowand not feel a thing.” There is something plaintive about anAmerican Jew being a tourist at a concentration camp,exhibiting both closeness to the experience and distance aswell.

While very few of the women directly mentioned theHolocaust as a metric for their personal suffering, it is likelythe case that this event unconsciously or semi-consciously setthe limits of suffering in these women's lives. I have noempirical evidence for this claim, but the little discussion ofthe Holocaust is a silent presence. It appeared the case that thewomen could not think of their own suffering as greater thanthat which had been experienced individually and collectivelyin the Holocaust.

The focus on the need to survive

Personal strength was a narrative component that wassingled out as a characteristic bymany of thewomen. Primarily,personal strength meant either overcoming odds or dealingwith tragedies through surviving and even flourishing. Mrs.Epstein narrates her own identity in this way: “Well, this onefriend of mine calls me awoman of steel. Why do you say that?Well, it's because I don't complain. She said— you're never sick.But you don't know when I'm sick. I can handle a lot ofsituations. I force myself to. I don't think I'm a weak person.”Similarly, Mrs. Farber noted, “I think I learned it from mymother. She was a fighter. My mother did not have an easy life.And I'm a fighter. You ain't going to keep a good woman down,no way. And of course when the kids got old enough I went towork. And I loved working. I worked, I think I told you, in anophthalmologist's office for 28 years. And that was very hardwhen I had to leave. Andevennow Iwould like towork a coupledays a week, but it's very hard for me because of my stomachand the pain and everything, but if I could get a job without acomputer, which is impossible, I would like to sit like — be areceptionist, just answer thephoneandgreet patients or peopleas they come into an office. And I feel this is— having this thingfrommymother— it's a fighter, being a fighter, not letting it getme down. It would be very, very easy for me to go into adepression, very easy. But I'm fighting it. Sometimes I getdepressed but I try to fight it for my husband's sake. He's goingthrough a very, very bad time, very bad time. And that's noteasy. Financially it's very hard. And secondly, mentally — he'salways been a loner, so he doesn't have that many friends. Andhe has no hobbies and all he does is sleep. Of course, but he'strying to getwork— gets on thephone, he calls and calls andnottoo many people want an 82 year old man. Thank God he'sstrong. If you look athim,youwouldneverknowhis age.” In thisdiscussion, she described her husband as still an active andvibrantman, onewho desireswork. She describes him this wayin spite of the depression he suffers.

Mrs. Goren described her life in this way that mayrepresent the essence of many peoples' lives: “It seems tome that it's always a struggle.” For Mrs, Cohen, the theme ofstruggle was narrated in the following way: “It has to, wellagain um—my kids are good butmaybe I didn't zero in on the

other 2 you know— they just had to grow up because Barbarawas ah — and ah I don't know if I told you but from the timeshe was 8 till she was 12 she had that cast and at that time Iworked and ah — my husband was sick and she was sick.I mean they were good kids, those 2 — strong people so — Ididn't have time for suffering, I had time to be depressed, timeto be sad, but I couldn't indulge in myself in suffering becauseI always felt fortunate that I had what I had.”

At some point, the need or will to survivemay fail and takethe color away from life.

Mrs. Harris noted, “I don't think I have any quality of life, I—I again I can't be a cheerleader anymore. I do my job because Ifeel it's worthwhile and again I laugh and I say, “It keeps me offthe streets.”Andah—but I don't seemuchpoint tomy life at thispoint. Everybody has made their— their lives I can't do a thingfor anybody, I don't have the kind of money where I could helpthemfinancially. Um— I— I don't see any point to it.”Her role inlifewas as a helper and now no one needs her help and supportanymore, so she feels she has no point or purpose in her life.She is no longer needed. Her suffering and the death of herdaughter, have caused this despair.

The pervasiveness of disease related pain and discomfort

Manyof the informants testified to the presence of physicalpain and discomfort in them and in others and identified theseas a form of suffering. Mrs. Light noted, “Yeah as a matter offact its very funny because I was with a friend yesterday andshewas tellingme she just visited her sisterwho is in a nursinghome and she said she had lunch and all they did was at thetable, therewere four orfive people sitting there that live thereand they kept saying “why are we alive, what's the point ofliving.”Andum, she said “that'swhat happenswhenyou get tothat point,” and I said, “Not necessarily, they obviously, they'reso confined and they are all inwheelchairs. I guess it's difficultthey can't get out as much.” And some how or other closerelatives don't come that frequently or maybe they're just asold so they really…they're not well. It's rough. So you say,“Whyam I living?” I don't function thatway right nowbutwhoknows what will happen if something happens to me and Ican't get around myself or do the things for myself.”

Another informant put it thisway: “I have to always put it onto another person. My sister was in a Nursing Home and thelady in the bed beside her had shingles. And shewas in absoluteagony. No matter what they would give her, she was always inpain. Nobody wants to be in pain, so I can't say — two or threeweeks ago I had a great big lump on my knee. Dr. Issakoff saidI'm going to have drain it. Well, it hurt like hell, you know[laughs]. He stuck a needle in me and I have learned someplacea long time ago [demonstrates a deep breathing technique andtakes several deep breathes.] He said, “Do you know whatyou're doing?” I said, “You're killing me” [laughs]. Nobodywants to be inpain. There again, you've got to go back and say—who says I would like to be in pain. Although I just finishedreading a book where the man enjoyed being in pain. This waspart of what hewas giving back to God. There again I have to goback tome, [informant's name]. I don't knowwhat— I've neverhad a broken leg or a broken anything. I did have somethinghappen, but I've just been— I hate to say it—God listened tome,that I've been a fortunate woman. Suffering is — is somebodyelse's pain. I suffer more with somebody else than I do with

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myself. I can visualize or feel what somebody else is feeling.There again I have to go back towhat happens inmy own body.When I had a hysterectomy, it hurt. My first child was born in amilitary hospital— bing, bing, bang— it hurt [laughs]. Sufferingcan bemental. I've never hadmental suffering. I can get mad atthis man [her husband] — he's so different — that's sufferingAnd I'll say, “What in the heck am I doing in this relationship?”But there's—my cup is more full than empty. It's worth havingour time together. Because we're of two different planets. Hecomes from a very different background. He's a very quietinward person. I'm a bubble. But we've managed to meld. So, Ihate to say this, I don't think I have anything to suffer about.”She distinguishes her questioning of the world from theexperience of suffering.

And for some, because of the pervasiveness and sense-lessness of suffering, it has no meaning. Mrs. Janoff spokewith the interviewer as follows:

Interviewer: …what does your religion say about theexperience or purpose of suffering?

Informant: You know, truthfully, I've never even discussedit with my Rabbi. I just never even discussed it. I wouldimagine it would be part of life. Because I don't think anybodygets awaywithout some kind of suffering, oneway or another,you know. But I'll look at the history of what the Jewish peoplehave gone through— and what the Catholic people have gonethrough. And all these religious wars— I don't understand it, Ijust don't. I can't — why can't I worship the way I want andwhy can't they worship the way they want? What differencedoes it make? We're all — all of our blood is red — all of us. Idon't care what we are. We're all human beings, and we allhave our rights, and as long as you believe it's wonderful, aslong as you believe in something. I'll never understand that.Why all these religious wars?

For some, the ubiquity of suffering — both Jewish andhuman — also enhanced its power and thereby lessened itsimpact, as seen in this dialogue with Mrs. Mischler:

Interviewer: How about suffering? Do you think there wasever a time in your life when you felt you had suffered?

Informant: That's a strong word — suffering. You know, Ican't identify all these things that happened as suffering. Theywere not good times. They hurt. But suffering, to me, is a realstrong word and I can't use it.

Interviewer: If you were going to define suffering, whatwould you say suffering is?

Informant: Feeling very strong emotional pain about who-ever is ill, and not even able to function normally. But I just can'tuse that word. I don't think I ever really felt that I was suffering.

Miserable life experiences

In their narration of the personal experience of suffering,many informants pointed to specific events or episodes orperiods of life which constituted suffering for them. Again, aswith an informant discussed above, some of these statementsimplicated the rationale of lack of value for suffering of anykind. Mrs. Rosenblatt stated this in the following way:

Interviewer: And do you think that there is any value tosuffering?

Informant: That I really don't know. What kind of value canyou get from tearing yourheart out? I really don't know. [pause]I think it's more detrimental to your body. Some people get

heart attacks over suffering. I had a friend who dropped deadbecause of Enron. She had a lot of money invested in it — shehad put her whole family in it. She was a very wealthy woman.They found her dead in the chair. She just couldn't cope withwhat was going on. She lost a fortune.

Mrs. Simon narrated a period of her life in this way: “I cansumupmy life as ayounger person asmiserable. I did not have ahappy childhood. I'm the oldest. I have a brother who's five-and-a-half years younger. There was one brother between uswho died at two-and-a-half. I have a younger sister, 16 yearsyounger than I amwithwhommybrother and I have no contactat all. There's nothing we can do about it. It's her choice. It tookme a long time to even say the word, but my father andmother…My father abusedmymother. They were ill matched.They should never havemarried. Therewere timeswhen Iwentto school miserable because they had been fighting. It wasbasically not a happy childhood. I had a very poor self-image. Ididn't knowwho I was. You know, I knew that I… I had little orno social life all the way through high school. I mean, I had acouple of girl friends…You know, nice kids, but nothing. I neverdated. Never went to the prom. Never even went to the classtrip. I had a very poor self-image.” This extremely sad accountwas discussed a bit matter-of-factly.

Another informant put it thisway: “Well, I was suffering, as Isaid with the death of my husband. I was suffering with thedeath of my parents. It goes all the way back to childhood. Iremember when I was 6 years old — it was passing day, atschool. And in those days, on passing day — you dressed up.Nowadays, school kids don't dress up — they look like bums. Iwent to this graduation party — college graduation — youshouldhave seenhow they— college graduates, looked. And theboy who graduated — my great nephew — with baggy jeans(laughs). I won't say he was dirty— but he didn't look spic andspan. But that's the way they all looked. Anyhow, this waspassing day and my mother had made me a dress. And even inthosedays, I didn't complain. I hated that dresswith a passion. Itwas made— I still remember it— it had orange polka dots on itand at that time I was very close to a little cousin— a little boyand his mother had made him a little black velvet suit. LordFauntleroy suit. And I was standing in the playground with myfinger in mymouth and I remember— I still remember— I wassix years old, and a child came over and she said Betty, why areyou so sad, becauseyoudon't have anewdress and Jeromehas anew suit. I had a new dress on — that hurt so much, but Iremembered it all those years. I wasn't complaining — mymothermademe— I was in high school,mymothermademe acoat—mymother and an aunt— from a hand-me-down, a richcousin's. I hated that coat with a passion and I got on — I wasgoing to Eastern High at the time, and when I got on thestreetcar, I was praying that therewould be a seat and I could sitdownandnobodywould lookatmycoat. I didn't complain. Thatwouldn't happen now.” The power of these earlymemories stillhaunts this informant. One might expect that they would belong forgotten, but they were not. This is a miserable lifeexperience that continues until today.

Reviewing the life and encountering the end

The individual may require some retrospection in orderto bring some closure to a life. This was not the case for some ofthewomenwe interviewed. Thiswas the case forMrs.Upcawitz

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who noted, “I was too emotionally troubled from earlychildhood on. I think I would have been much better off ifI had not had children. I probably would have missed it if Ididn't have them, but I think for their sake and my sake aswell, I would have been better off not having had thembecause I didn't do a good job. I couldn't, I wasn't qualified todo a good job.

Interviewer: In general. Your overall life.Informant: It's been very, very unfortunate, very sad, very

disappointing, uh, very unfulfilling. I mean, these are allnegatives and this is how I feel. It's been a negative life, youknow.

This is one of the worst times in my life. Uh, (long P) youknow, here I am, uh, living alone, and being, having to be soself-reliant and I've always been self-reliant but the, thestruggle now of, of having to accomplish whatever it is that Ihave to do, I feel is actually fierce.

Both emotions and physical changes are part of thisretrospective negativity. Mrs. Wishinsky: stated, “I hatelooking in the mirror because I have become a very oldwoman I have lost 5 inches I have lost ah— the problem is thatI have skin problems as well as every other kind of problem,external problems not so much internal. But as far as theinternal problems are concerned I think it is wise forsomething like this to understand that I am also incontinent.So I have a different kind of life in the last 4 months.”

Mrs. Zimmerman summed up her life in a more positiveway: “And I realize that's the way it has to be if you live longenough. What are your choices? You die young or you livelong enough to see yourself grow old. I am happy that mymind is still good. And even though I have a neuropathy, I stillwalk. I don't takewalks, but still am able towalk towherever Ihave to go. And so, I'm happy that I'm here to see, probably,that face that is aging. The only thing I wish is— and everyonedoes wish the same thing — I don't become ill and suffer.That's what youwish for. I don't fear death. I know that I won'tlive to see great grandchildren, but I'm happy with what I'vehad with my grandchildren. If you're born, what comes inbetween… There's birth and there's death. Try to make themost of what comes in between, and I think I did.”

Despite such summaries like that above, informants oftensingled out frustrations and disappointments in describingtheir lives. Mrs. Schwartz said, “It's been a life of frustrationand marrying the wrong man, I realized. He was a good guy,but he wasn't right for me. And uh, so you know, it's been aseries of disappointments and mistakes. Uh, I feel that it's justone long series of mistakes starting from very early on.”

Interviewer: How would — if you were to use a word, um,to describe your marriage to him, what would, what wouldyou say?

Informant: It was a failure.Interviewer: Did you fight a lot or you just —Informant: Yeah, I, I was pretty much out of control a lot of

times. I was so frustrated, uh, and I was disappointed and I wasso unhappy that, uh, it didn't take much to set me off. So, youknow, Iwould, uh, pickon things. I just usedhimas anoutlet formy frustrations, itwasn't reallywasn't even his fault. It was justthe whole situation that just felt so uncomfortable for me.

The question of the purpose of suffering often came up inour interviews. Tohavehad amiserable life— to have suffered—

engendered a number of explanations about the meaning of

suffering. For many, there was no meaning at all. Some, likeMrs. Timmerman, reasoned differently:

Interviewer: Now do you think there is any purpose tosuffering?

Informant: I guess there is. Why would there be suffering?I mean, when I saw how people in the hospital — how muchtheywent through and all— it got tome. So I don't knowwhatpurpose there is.

Interviewer: But you think that there is one?Informant: Evidently. That Man Upstairs must want you to

[suffer].This is a rather generic statement that reduces personal

suffering to a general statement without much specificity. It isimportant to note that by and large, the nature of suffering forthese women is intensely personal.

Discrimination

As Jews, women of this generation experienced first-handa great deal of discrimination on various fronts. In coding theinterviews, this finding was surprising in that we longer seemassive evidence of discrimination against Jews in public lifein the US at the current time. For example, Mrs. Schwartz:spoke about her employment, “So I knew that, also therewere150 people and I was the only the Jew and one day a girl camefrom the third floor and she came down to the second, shesaid, “ I heard there was a Jew here.” And I said, “Yeah andyou're looking at her.” Well she never was the same to meafterward. So that was my experience but again you know Iwas secure enough in what I did — that it was a cut but itwasn't that deep. I knew it isn't easy to be Jewish and it isn'teasy to be a female.

Mrs. Yellowitz described a situation in this way: “Well, Iremember that when I went to look for a job in my youngerdays, uh, it was very distasteful when you went to an agencyand said you were Jewish they told there were very few jobsavailable. Those were very difficult times. I think, I thinklooking for a job is one of the most difficult times in ones life.”

The dialogue with Mrs. Karman is also interesting in thisrespect:

Informant: Try growing up in the years when you couldn'tget into college because you were Jewish there were was apercentage that took you in. Try going into a school whereyou're where doing something in your profession that thereare more men than women. And um. Men they feel can domore than you can do. Yes, that I'll tell you. That's a veryprominent factor in my life.

Interviewer: Are there specific examples that stick out inyour mind that you could share?

Informant: Umwell, I can tell you for example that ColumbiaUniversity only took 1% female, and no I'm not sure if it was 1%female or 2% Jews or 2% female and 1% Jews, but that was aruling. So that if you got into school you were lucky”.

Suffering as a cultural construct

Thenarratives discussed abovemight be viewedas generic,as narratives that might come from any ethnic or culturalgroup. As was noted above key Jewish cultural themes mayspecifically include: the centrality of the family; chosennessand suffering as shared values; intellectual achievement and

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financial success; and, verbal expression of feelings. These toomight be culturally patterned expressions from any ethnic-cultural group. We saw most of these themes in the materialpresented above, although the theme of chosenness does notappear to be well articulated in the narrative excerpts and didnot seem to be in the interviews at large. Indeed, one mightidentify many of these women as seeing themselves as rathernon-special and unspectacular in some ways but also specialas well). As noted above, Judaism, in a sense, provided acontext and a boundary beyondwhich they could not traverse.Although this study focused on suffering, it asked manyquestions that requestedmaterial that might bemore positivein tone, for example about the good things in life, but thismaterial is not discussed here.

Yet there is something distinctive about the arrangement ofcultural factors and themes and the subtle language in whichthey were discussed. Through the selection of distinctivethemes, much of this interviewmaterial hangs together and isemphasized by Jews' cultural focus on suffering, related ofcourse to their long history of sorrow, or more to the point, ofjoys carved out in a matrix of sorrow. Some informants dis-cussed an awareness of this cultural history of suffering. This isportrayed in Mrs. Olshanski's dialogue:

Interviewer: Do you think there's any value to suffering?Informant: Value? No, I don't want to be a martyr to the

cause. [long pause] Value. What kind of value is it to suffer. Ithink that people have given their life, yes, Jewish people havegiven their life for honesty and all. They've actually beenmartyrs. There's plenty of them in our family. I mean, in theworld. In our Jewish world. You take, um, JudasMaccabeewasslaughtered. — then there's Hannah and her seven sons thatthey killed. All through Jewish history, they've been martyrs. Idon't know if I want to be a martyr. You know, I have a mottoI'm living. It's life, life itself. But that's more important thandeath.

Mrs. Olshanski also discussed the Judaism and Jewishculture of her own childhood:

“My father took me to the Yiddish theater when I was 5,6 years old. It was a Yiddish theater down here on BaltimoreStreet.We used to go in for a quarter.We'd sit up in the peanutgallery. Took a streetcar to go downtown for a nickel. And uh,saw all the greatest Jewish actors. Molly Picon. A lot of themwent on the English stage too. But they were great…andmostof them were tear-jerkers because Jewish life is not easy,honey. It's the most—what am I trying to say? Crucified is theword I want— life of all of them. And oh, they talk about theirheartaches. Well, Fiddler on the Roof was an idea. And whenhe says to God, ‘God, what do you want from me?’ He says Ican only… it's because of the heartaches that they had. Anduh, that's it. So…that's about the story. [pause].

Well, they're beaten. You take the Germans, whathappened in Germany, and I can't look at those pictures.Starving, being, cutting their throats, oh God, I can't watch theHolocaust. That to me, my own people, buried alive. [loudly] Imean, that's suffering…they didn't even give them a chanceto suffer, they just put them in the pit….

There again, in the, the Jewish people are sufferers, theyreally are sufferers. I think it's part of their heritage. But I wentthrough the concentration camps when I worked in Germany,yet when you see pictures with people in the concentrationcamp, they're smiling. Which I never understood. Especially

the young children and everything. I think in the Jewishreligion — I think they are a religion of sufferers. For somereason they seem to think this is part of what they must bear.I've never thought that way. I've never thought that way. Idon't think of the word suffering — I really don't. I think ofanger. I think of sadness. As I think I told you before — I am athree quarters of my glass full— I feel that I'm a very fortunatewoman, I am and I want to stay that way until I'm 100. At 101they can do what they want. But I can't connect the wordsuffering into my life. I've been unhappy, I've been sad, I'vebeen angry — I've gone through a gamut of emotions, butsuffering has really never been part of it.”

Mrs. Ponder described this cultural condition simply: “TheJews from suffering — the Jews and the blacks, I would say.Everybody knows from suffering.”

Conclusion

The interviewmaterial presented here is to some degree inreaction to the questions we asked. Nevertheless, evenwithout specific questions about suffering, a very great dealof material was negatively phrased, for example, even in thelife history stories we requested at the beginning of theinterviews. The tone of negativity cut through the materialbut encased within it were joys, stories of survival, family life,and satisfying friendships, typical of so many ethnic groups.

To some extent the tone of these interviews represents thepositioning of the informants. They were thoroughly Amer-icanized, although parents had mostly come from the oldcountry. Their generation connected both the old world andthe new. Their lives had led them though the depression andthe Holocaust, although some women were still financiallyunstable. Few went to college, but all were highly orientedtowards education for their children and grandchildren. Muchof the culture, both family and communal, that they hadexperienced as young women was gone, as with the Yiddishtheatre highlighted by one informant, above. But many, if notmost kept up with many of the rituals of being Jewish; somewere quite upset when grandchildren married non-Jews, soculture was still quite strong.

Many of the informants did not reference the Holocaust intheir discussions of suffering, although as noted above, a fewdid directly note it but could not compare their own sufferingwith it. However, it was difficult for these informants todevelop a narrative that included the Holocaust. TheHolocaust, the pinnacle of suffering for these women andfor all Jews, was not amenable for some of the women to anarrative or being part of a narrative. It is perhaps the casethat no voice could be found to discuss this event. Never-theless, it is my belief that it spread its intangible shadowacross these narratives and reiterated and reemphasized theculture of suffering.

References

Davidowicz, L. (1982). On Equal Terms: Jews in America 1881–1981. NY: Holt,Rinehart and Winston.

Rosen, E. J., & Weltman, S. F. (1996). Jewish families: An overview. In M.McGoldrick, J. Giordano, & J. K. Pearce (Eds.), Ethnicity and family therapyNY: Guilford Press.

Rosen, E. J., & Weltman, S. F. (1996). The Holocaust and the Historians.Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.