"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a "Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't

feel like cooking a fancy meal!"feel like cooking a fancy meal!""I know all that.""I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?""Then why did you invite a friend for supper?""Because the poor fool's thinking about getting "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting

married."married."

The angry wife The angry wife met her met her

husband at the husband at the door. There was door. There was alcohol on his alcohol on his

breath and breath and lipstick on his lipstick on his

cheek. "I cheek. "I assume," she assume," she snarled, "that snarled, "that there is a very there is a very

good reason for good reason for you to come you to come

waltzing in at waltzing in at six o'clock in the six o'clock in the

morning?"morning?"

"There is." he "There is." he replied, replied,

"Breakfast.""Breakfast."

A man speaks frantically on phone, "My A man speaks frantically on phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions wife is pregnant, and her contractions

are only two minutes apart!"are only two minutes apart!""Is this her first child?" the doctor "Is this her first child?" the doctor

queries.queries."No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is

her husband!"her husband!"

My husband said he wanted My husband said he wanted more space.more space.

So I locked him outside.So I locked him outside.

"Do you really believe your husband when he tells "Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Suma's you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Suma's

best friend.best friend."Why shouldn't I?" said Suma."Why shouldn't I?" said Suma.

"Well, maybe he is having an affair?""Well, maybe he is having an affair?""No way" said Suma "he never returns with any "No way" said Suma "he never returns with any

fish..."fish..."

I think the only reason my husband I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell the only time he hears someone tell

him, "Wow, that's a big one!"him, "Wow, that's a big one!"

““My wife's an angel!" said the first guy.My wife's an angel!" said the first guy.Second guy replies: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."Second guy replies: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

The husband says, “If you really loved The husband says, “If you really loved me...you should take me as I am and not me...you should take me as I am and not

try to change me.”try to change me.”Suma replies: “Then you, also, should Suma replies: “Then you, also, should

take me as I am, someone who wants to take me as I am, someone who wants to change you !”change you !”

"That wife of mine "That wife of mine is a liar," said the is a liar," said the

angry husband to a angry husband to a sympathetic friend sympathetic friend while driving the while driving the

car. car. "How do you "How do you

know?" the friend know?" the friend asked. asked.

"She didn't come "She didn't come home last night and home last night and

when I asked her when I asked her where she'd been, where she'd been,

she said she she said she had spent the night had spent the night

with her sister, with her sister, Jessie." Jessie." "So?" "So?"

"So she's a liar. "So she's a liar. I spent the night I spent the night with her sister, with her sister,

Jessie."Jessie."

At the cocktail At the cocktail party, one party, one

woman said to woman said to another, "Aren't another, "Aren't

you wearing you wearing your wedding your wedding

ring on the ring on the wrong finger?" wrong finger?"

The other The other replied, "Yes, I replied, "Yes, I am, I married am, I married

the wrong man."the wrong man."