“money does not make the world go round” seminar attendees speaker: paula quinsee
TRANSCRIPT
“Money does not make the world go round”
Seminar Attendees
Speaker: Paula Quinsee
Follow me:
Money does not make the World go Round
Relationships Do
“The rules of work are changing.
We’re being judged by a new yardstick:
not just how smart we are,
or by our training and expertise,
but also how well we handle ourselves and others.”
Daniel Goleman
IQ is what gets us our position. EQ keeps & builds our position.
So what is EQ?
• Ability to be aware of our own emotions, and those of others in the moment
• To use that information to manage self, and others (i.e. relationships)
Source: Daniel Goleman
Self Awareness Social Awareness
Relationship Management
Self Management
Self OtherM
anag
emen
tA
war
enes
s
Relationships of Significance
• Self
• Partner
• Family (immediate and extended)
• Friends
• Peers
• Spiritual
Personal Relationships
Where is our EQ derived from?
Environment
Our upbringing shapes who we becomeOur upbringing shapes who we become
Father/Male caretaker(s)
Mother/Female caretaker(s)
Positive and Negative experiences
IMAGO Composite
Unconscious Image of love &
relationships
Project this image
Relationships
Loving, nurturing, affectionate, career driven, family, home maker, classy, good
cook, alcoholic, critical
Family manSporty, manly, affectionate,
bread winner, alcoholic, critical,
handyman, abusive
Things our parents taught usThings our parents taught us
APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION Stop acting like your father!
CIRCLE OF LIFE I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.
ENDURANCE You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.
ENVY There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.
GENETICS You're just like your mother.
HERITAGE Shut the door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?
HUMOR When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.
IRONY Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.
JUSTICE One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
LOGIC Because I said so, that's why.
RECEIVING You are going to get it when you get home!
RELIGION You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet.
TIME TRAVEL If you don't shape up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!
TO BECOME AN ADULT If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.
WISDOM When you get to be my age, you'll understand.
The Relationship CycleThe Relationship Cycle
Unconscious and
reactive
When under pressure or threat,
turtles minimise and pull their energy in.
Maximisers come out fighting, push all their energy into
problem solving/get involved now.
What is your Conflict Management Style?What is your Conflict Management Style?
The Saboteurs
B L A M E
V I C T I M
Peer Relationships
Emotional and Social Intelligence
It is an essential part of the whole person:
• Emotional = inner work
• Social = outer manifestation of the inner work
“The greatest problem with communication
is the illusion that it has been accomplished."
- George Bernard Shaw
“The greatest problem with communication
is the illusion that it has been accomplished."
- George Bernard Shaw
Most of the time we function on autopilot
• 90% of day we perform unconscious actions
• 10% = conscious/thinking behaviours
• Positive and negative interactions
• Controllable vs. uncontrollable
• Team/group dynamics
• Corporate Culture
• Emotions/Detachment
Daily influences
Men and women are wired differently
Female:•More neural connections from side to side across left and right hemispheres.•Could account for women’s better verbal and intuitive skills.
Male:•Most connections run between front and back parts of same hemisphere.•Could account for spatial skills and motor (muscle) control in men.
Source – Mary Ovenstone
Source – Academia.eu/EQ Business Case 2010
Higher EQ Leaders are
more likely to make better
decisions, engage and
influence more effectively,
and create the right mood
for the job.
EQ capacity in the workplace
Individual Line Manager Manager of Managers Executive
Self & Social awareness Technical skills Capacity for social/self awareness
= emotional self awareness = accurate self assessment = personal power
Corporate Relationship Cycle
• Service delivery
• Customer experience
• Perceived value for money
How are customer’s emotions being effected?How are customer’s emotions being effected?
How does EQ benefit us as an Individual?
• Effective communication
• Powerful influencing skills
• Conflict management
• Inspirational leadership
• Catalysing change
• Teamwork and collaboration
• Coaching and mentoring others
• Building and establishing trust
EQ = Personal Mastery
• Behavioural self control
• Integrity
• Innovation and creativity
• Stress management
• Ambition and drive
• Realistic and optimistic
• Resilient mindset
• Flexibility
• Positivity
In order to be a successful Leader
• An awareness of one’s own emotions
• Ability to understand others emotions
• Ability to use emotional vocabulary
• Can feel and express empathy
• Can cope with difficult emotions/situations
• Greater awareness of emotions within relationships
• Control and change one’s emotional state
Questions to consider
• Do you have EQ development programs as part of your business strategy?
• Is EQ part of every person’s development plan?
• How are you supporting individuals through the process?
• Are customer/supplier relationships and retention part of your balance score
card?
• How are you measuring this?
• Are you recognising individuals with higher EQ skills?
Relationship CanvasRelationship Canvas
Partners: How you keep the relationship alive:
Relationship Vision:
Type of Relationship:
Persons Name:
What you bring to the relationship:
How you interact:
What this relationship costs you: What you get out of the relationship:
PartnerPeerFriendColleague
Face-2-faceThinkSpeakListenSexuality
What is your ideal picture of how you would like this relationship to be
ActivitiesOwn growth/developCommunicationQuality timeConflict resolution
ValuesBeliefsBaggageCultureSpiritualityFinancial
FamilyKidsFriendsPeersBoss
TimeEffortEnergyEmotion
What is the value for you?How does it meet your needs?How does it make you feel?
JoeSusan
Source – Six Seconds
FREE ebook - Conflict is our FriendFREE ebook - Conflict is our Friend
• Download your copy from:
www.ati2ud.com
Click on ‘Book Now’
and get your free copy
Individual and Corporate Wellbeing
Paula Quinsee
Life & Relationship Coach
www.ati2ud.com
Facebook – Ati2ud Communications
Email - [email protected]
Cel – 083 307 0918Follow me:
www.advancenet.com
https://twitter.com/AdvanceNetGroup
https://www.linkedin.com/company/advancenet-pty-ltd/
http://www.youtube.com/user/AdvanceNetGroup
+2711 367 9000
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MayMay
20th