Being in the Moment

“Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.” Franklin D.

Roosevelt

Being in the Moment

• Studies show that we spend up to 60% of our day in our heads thinking. Our thoughts usually dwell on memories of past events or worries about the future. Regardless of whether you’re reliving the argument that you had with your “significant other” the night before and feeling regret or obsessing about the news you just got that your mother-in-law is in town and will be spending the weekend, your mind is not present.

Being in the Moment

• I’ll be quite candid. If you were to take a small video camera and insert it between my ears, it would play like the trailer of a “James Bond” movie. To say that my mind is “busy” would be a complete understatement.

Being in the Moment

• The problem with all this thinking is that it creates unnecessary anxiety and stress, takes away your strength from solving the problems that exist today, and is mentally exhausting.

• Practically speaking, it is wasted energy. The past is gone and never will come back. The future is elusive and is beyond anyone’s grasp. The future is a blank canvas.

Being in the Moment

Free yourself from the prison of your mind!

Being in the Moment• Most of us interpret life based on events we have

experienced in the past. It may not be readily apparent, but in the back of your mind, you are constantly comparing, judging, and evaluating everything that comes through your senses with something that took place seconds, days or even years ago.

Being in the Moment

• While memories help us to maintain a sense of continuity in life, they can also hold us captive when we use them to build walls around us, imprisoning our mind and seeing life only through a small tinted window.

• As a result, we no longer experience life as it is. Instead, we perceive reality through memories from the past and worries about the future. This creates a distorted version of reality.

Being in the Moment

• Since everyone’s life experience is different, so too is the reality perceived by each individual.

• This is why two people who went through the same ordeal can have vastly different interpretations and responses.

Being in the Moment

• We end up living in a cell that determines how we feel and how we will react to a given event.

• If something fits into our way of seeing things, we feel satisfied and happy, and desire more of it. If it does not, we become angry, anxious, depressed, or stressed.

Being in the Moment

How can we use memories and thoughts intelligently without being trapped by them?

Being in the Moment

• The answer is shockingly simple. Be present in this moment.

• Not a half-hearted presence like slumping on the couch and channel-surfing, but a complete mind, body, and spirit presence.

Being in the Moment

• Why the emphasis on this moment? Because now is where reality is. The present moment is the only thing you have got now. The past is gone and never will come back. The future is elusive and is beyond anyone’s grasp. It’s a blank canvas.

• All your self-defeating stories about the past, or worries for the future are taking place here and now in this moment.

Being in the Moment• Why live in the past or future when you can live now and

enjoy the spontaneity and surprise that each moment offers?

• When you surrender completely to now and put all your attention on every moment, your full awareness connects you to the flow of life. This is when living becomes effortless.

• You will begin to respond to each moment instinctively without worry or anxiety, because at this moment there aren’t 200 things you need to do – there is only one thing to do, now.

Being in the Moment• “Being in the moment” is a drama term

indicating that your argument is happening right now. It lives now and will never be done the same way again.

• One cannot be in the moment if one is thinking about how one prepared last night or trying to remember what one memorized.

Being in the Moment

• Here’s the thing about oratorical skills and presentation in any sphere of life. Whether you're playing golf, delivering a keynote to a large audience, or acting on stage, there is no past and there is no future.

Being in the Moment

• You're living in the present. And the present dictates terms to you that you may not have expected and that you just have to be ready to adapt to on the fly.

Being in the Moment

• For actors, being in the moment is vital to creating the illusion of reality. Audiences demand utter spontaneity.

• Think about it. The “real” Romeo and Juliet had no script. They uttered what were later to become some of the most famous lines of English poetry spontaneously and impulsively.

Being in the Moment

• Acting is about getting the audience to believe that it’s happening for the first time, a concept referred to in theater as “conversational reality.” To do that, actors have to make it appear as though they don’t know what’s coming next.

Being in the Moment• This is easier said than done. As the actor, you

know what’s coming next because you’ve memorized the script and rehearsed the scene hundreds if not thousands of times. But as the character, you don’t have the foggiest idea.

• So how does the actor behave? He behaves as if it’s happening for the first time. Once you’re in touch with those feelings and that ability to be impulsive, you’re in the moment and you’re creating the illusion of reality.

Being in the Moment

• So the audience is wrapped up in what they’re seeing because you, as the actor, are seeing it for the first time as if it’s the first time.

• And when you sprinkle underneath that a sense of humanity, you have a solid foundation in what real actors do when they are working at their best.

Being in the Moment

Tips

(1) Meditation– Just sit comfortably and focus your attention on

every in and out-breath. “Our breaths born and die with every moment and they only happen in the now. When your breathing stops, now will also cease to exist.”

Being in the Moment– Accept the fact that your mind is going to drift. We

can’t help that. It’s normal. In fact, that’s not the challenge. The challenge is in becoming aware of when you’ve “left the building.” Why? Because the sooner that you realize you’ve checked out, the sooner you will be able to bring your mind back to the present moment, thus reducing the gap in time the between “I’ve left” and “I’ve returned.”

– If your mind begins to drift away from your breaths, gently bring it back and return your focus to where it should be.

Being in the Moment

– As you become accustomed to focusing on your breaths, it will become progressively easier to stay in the now. Your mind will become less distracted by haphazard thoughts and memories.

– By being able to focus on this moment, you bring greater awareness to your everyday life.

Being in the Moment

– When there is full awareness, mental walls begin to collapse. Instead of being limited by your conditioned way of thinking, you live life spontaneously and act according to the needs of each moment instead of being a slave to the past or future.

– Even in the face of great adversity, instead of dwelling in a state of bitterness, self-pity, or cynicism, full awareness gives you the ability to focus on choices that bring happiness to you as well as others.

Being in the Moment

– This is the taste of true freedom.

Being in the Moment

Think meditation is junk science? Tell that to these people …

Being in the Moment

(2) Don’t time travel!

Being in the Moment

• If you feel yourself drifting into thought, try to catch yourself. Ask yourself, “Is this thought I’m having useful for my energy today?” Everything else is a leak. You don’t want to leak your energy all over the place. Instead, you want to gather your energy and strength for right now.

Being in the Moment(3) You are the master of your thoughts just like you are the master of your destiny. Negative thoughts are outright debilitating. However, they were nothing more than thoughts until you attached an emotion to them – albeit a negative one. Try viewing your thoughts as cars passing by on a freeway.

Being in the Moment

• Before allowing your mind to turn that thought into a mini-drama, why not let it pass by like a car on the freeway instead of parking it illegally on a yellow curb with an invitation for a meter maid to pull out his pad and write you a ticket?

Being in the Moment

(4) Research shows that when your expectation is similar to your perceived reality of an event, a positive emotion results. However, when your expectation is different than your perceived reality of an event, a negative emotion results.

Being in the Moment• Example: You are in the restroom at the courthouse

and have just finished washing your hands. With wringing wet hands, you press down on the paper towel dispenser and nothing comes out. A negative emotion results: “You’re pissed.” Your expectation is that the paper towel dispenser would be stocked with paper towels but, in reality, it isn’t.

Being in the Moment

• If this was the tenth time that you used this restroom and the tenth time that the paper towel dispenser was empty, a negative emotion may not result. Why? Because you have mentally prepared yourself, perhaps subconsciously, for it being empty and therefore, your expectation that there will be paper towels inside has diminished. In fact, the existence of paper towels might even trigger a surprise.

• Takeaway: Set realistic expectations and expect the unexpected.

Being in the Moment

• Bringing this back to the courtroom:– When you are rehearsing your opening statement,

plan for objections. This way, when they happen, they will not throw you off or put you into a tailspin. Instead, you can allow them to pass by like cars on a freeway without creating a mini-drama out of them.

– Instead of getting flustered and irritated, you’ll be unflappable.

Being in the Moment– A common question that I’m asked is what to do about the

adversary who objects continuously during your opening statement and/or closing argument such that it disrupts your flow and interferes with your train of thought.

Being in the Moment

– First, be honest with yourself and ask, “Is what I said objectionable?” If so, be proactive and refrain from saying it altogether or state it in a way that will not trigger an objection.

– Of course, there will always be adversaries who object for no other reason than to “throw you off,” while couching the objection in terms that make it appear you have run afoul of the rules of evidence.

Being in the Moment– Do not underestimate the jury. If you are telling a

compelling story and an avalanche of objections continue to erupt from your adversary’s mouth like lava erupting from a volcano, the jury will become annoyed at your adversary for not letting you speak. They’ll ask: “Why won’t he let him talk?”

– In other words, this scorch and burn strategy can very easily backfire because the jury will view it as “unfair.” Your adversary will do nothing to endear himself to the jury. Instead, the jury may even turn against him.