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byStephen Cook

I am very pleased to be able to report some good

news and to tell you of the existence of a

breakthrough therapy that lowers by about 80percent the risk of you developing the most

common and deadly chronic diseases

Furthermore, in this day and age when almost

every advance seems to bring with it a catch in

terms of side-effects or environmental

complications, it will have a beneficial effect on

the environment in direct proportion to the

number of people using it and produces no side

effects unless you count a greater sense of

wellbeing a side effect.

Revolutionary

It is known as TCY and involves no drugs.

Indeed, it drastically reduces, or in many cases

may well render obsolete, the need for drugs, a

modern medical over-specialization that has

always provoked controversy.

In short, TCY comprises a revolutionary

approach to human health that in my opinion

flings wide the door to a golden age ofunprecedented health and longevity for you and

those dear to you.

Healthcare

By dramatically improving the physical and

mental health of the nation, TCY holds out the

real possibility of slashing healthcare costs, thus

alleviating what most ails the national wallet.

By offering a way to cut manifold social and

financial costs, the new therapy will enable funds

and resources to be diverted to other projects

that can further elevate our culture and quality of

life.

Any government seriously committed to

significant reductions in the tax burden would

therefore, if it had any sense at all, throw its

considerable weight behind TCY and encourage

its application at every opportunity.

Study

To illustrate the point, I recall the findings of one

European study involving over 23,000 Germans

that indicated the results of the new therapy

could be truly medically astonishing.

According to that study, TCY resulted in:

An average of 36 percent reduced risk of all

cancers

A 93 percent reduced risk of diabetes

An 81 percent reduced risk of heart disease

If such figures are even remotely accurate, then

the potential for slashing healthcare costs

becomes truly mouth-watering when one

considers that in the United States alone obesity

costs the American healthcare system more than

$100 million annually, while diabetes costs nearly

$150 billion, cancer care costs more than $200

billion, and heart disease costs more than $300

billion.

Saving Billions

By my maths these startling percentages suggest

a potential financial saving of $72 billion on

cancer care, $140 billion on diabetes and $243

billion on treating heart disease, a whopping half

a trillion dollars, almost, saved each yearon thereduced risk of just three diseases in the United

States alone!

I dont have the figures for the UK but the

similarity of our health problems suggests the

savings stand to be equally impressive.

Suffering

The savings on human pain and misery,

shortened life expectancy and so forth are more

difficult to quantify.

They certainly cannot be expressed in purely

monetary terms but if one can imagine that out of

every hundred people who currently suffer heart

disease for instance, eighty one could have

avoided it if they had used TCY, one can imagine

that the saving in human suffering could be

equally astronomical.

One should take into account too that where

there is chronic heart disease, cancer, obesity

and so forth, there is depression and

bereavement and tremendous stress placed both

on the sufferers and those who care about them.

Into that unhappy scenario enter the drug

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Miracle Health Breakthrough!

New therapy promises Golden Age of health

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News just in is that the England Rugby team have

announced that they will be introducing their own

response to the famous Haka performed by the

New Zealand Rugby players before matches. Themove is widely predicted to spread fearand

dismay throughout the word of Rugby, especially in

England.

The Haka is a Maori dance, which starts with the

chant "Ka mate, ka mate (It is death, it is death). It

is both a war chant and a challenge and is

customarily performed by the All Blacks before

major games.

It is characterised by loud chanting, aggressive

flailing of arms and stamping of feet, fierce looks

and angry tongue poking. Those who have

witnessed it will vouch for the fact that it is both

inspiring, a bit demented and, in fact, quite rude

It is designed to wilt the resolve of opposing teams

by convincing them they are about to engage in

sport with a team of homicidal psychopaths.

Not to be outdone, English Rugby Union have

produced their own traditional English response, a

war dance of great antiquity, which they believe willconvince opponents they are about to play people

similarly unhinged and put the All Blacks completely

off their game.

At a secret training camp, English players have

been rigorously trained in the new dance and its

simple but profoundly disturbing choreography.

When England play New Zealand later this year,

they plan to leash it upon their unfortunate

opponents. The New Zealanders will be allowed to

go first with their Haka and then the English playerswill then respond with their own dance.

Called the Morris, it is expected to completely

break the concentration of the New Zealanders and

to perform it, the English players will be using

especially embroidered handkerchiefs for the first

time.

Other dances were considered during the planning

stage but in the end the Morris was chosen in

preference to another traditional English dance

known as the Jive as the latter occasioned toomuch risk of injury to the players.

Sports Newscontinued from page 1

companies and psychiatrists with their pills and

potions, which bring their own cost burdens, side

effects, complications and physical disease.

Bad News

TCY may well be bad news for the drugcompanies whose continued ability to rake in

vast profits and make governments jump through

hoops on their behalf relies on human beings

being ill, anxious and depressed. Like dinosaurs

deprived of their natural prey they may be facing

extinction in the not too distant future but few, in

truth, are likely to mourn the passing of such

predatory giants.

Boon

As TCY is available to everyone completely freeof charge, perhaps its most important boon is

that it enables the ordinary citizen simply to enjoy

life more and for longer.

Rather than treating illness, the new therapy

provides highly workable techniques for

preventing you from becoming ill in the first

place.

Such techniques are uniformly simple and easily

understood by anyone of average intelligence.

They include tried and trusted measures such as

exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, not

smoking, maintaining a healthy weight, drinking

more water, getting more sleep and avoiding the

consumption of poisons such as aspartame, high

fructose corn syrup, drugs and medications,

TCY is otherwise known as "Taking Care of

Yourself."

Stephen Cook

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Science: Scientist sacked overEarth goes

around Sunclaim.

Government: British Parliament shaken bynew

revelations

Employment:Corporate Cartel Seeks Homicidal

Maniac

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