Title: Emotion Short Story

Goal: Description is one of the vital parts necessary to telling a good story, and to writing in general. Description paints a picture in the mind of the reader, and creates a world for the reader to explore.

This week, students will develop their ability to write vivid, fluent, descriptions by writing a short story featuring the emotions of a character. Emotions are particularly difficult to write about because they are abstract. They cannot be seen, smelled, touched, or tasted. Therefore, writing fluently about emotion is excellent practice for improving the general writing ability of students.

Description: Students are to write a 300 to 500 word short story about a character with goals, and describe their emotional reaction to whatever situation they are in while showing and not telling. They should use at least three phrases from the Emotional Body Language Handout.

Example:

Consider this example from Mrs. Dalloway, when a woman meets her first love 20 years after she decided to marry someone else:

“And how are you?” said Peter Walsh, positively trembling; taking both her hands; kissing both her hands. She’s grown older, he thought, sitting down. I shan’t tell her anything about it, he thought, for she’s grown older. She’s looking at me, he thought, a sudden embarrassment coming over him, though he had kissed her hands. Putting his hand into his pocket, he took out a large pocket-knife and half opened the blade.

Exactly the same, thought Clarissa; the same queer look; the same check suit; a little out of the straight his face is, a little thinner, dryer, perhaps, but he looks awfully well, and just the same.

“How heavenly it is to see you again!” she exclaimed. He had his knife out. That’s so like him, she thought.

He had only reached town last night, he said; would have to go down into the country at once; and how was everything, how was everybody — Richard? Elizabeth?

“And what’s all this?” he said, tilting his pen-knife towards her green dress.

He’s very well dressed, thought Clarissa; yet he always criticizes ME.

Here she is mending her dress; mending her dress as usual, he thought; here she’s been sitting all the time I’ve been in India; mending her dress; playing about; going to parties; running to the House and back and all that, he thought, growing more and more irritated, more and more agitated, for there’s nothing in the world so bad for some women as marriage, he thought; and politics; and having a Conservative husband, like the admirable Richard. So it is, so it is, he thought, shutting his knife with a snap.

In-class, read the following

In this unit, we are working on your ability to write a short story. Short stories consist of many parts, such as plot, character, and setting. But this week, we are going to focus on your ability to describe a character’s emotions. Describing emotions well is difficult, and by working on this skill, you will improve your ability to describe things in your writing.

First of all, good writing shows and doesn’t tell. Consider the following examples.

Bill walked through the rain. The sky wept. Cold droplets pitter-pattered on Bill’s clothes as he

marched down the street.

[Ask students which they though was stronger and why.]

The second sample is stronger because it shows you Bill walking through the rain. It paints a picture in your mind, whereas the first example merely

tells you that Bill is walking through the rain. Good writing shows, and does not tell.

Consider this example from Mrs. Dalloway, wherein a man and a woman meet 20 years after the woman, Clarissa rejected his proposal of marriage.

[Read aloud example, then ask students the following questions:

How do you think the characters feel in this scene? How do you know what the characters are feeling? What do you believe the goals of the characters are?]

You will notice that the author shows us how the characters are feeling through physical details and mental details. She does not write “Clarissa was sad she didn’t marry him,” as this would be telling, not showing, and therefore inelegant writing.

Furthermore, even in this scene about emotion, both characters have goals. Each wants to see if they should have married the other 20 years ago.

Your short story should have characters in a relationship, one of whom wants something, and the characters’ emotions should be shown, not told.

To help you, there is a handout describing the emotional responses of people and how they physically demonstrate them.

You will notice that stories which feature emotions often also feature close relationships between characters, because it’s hard to get too excited about strangers. Characters usually want something from another character, and their emotional reactions to this wanting are shown.

To help you write your short story, you have been provided with a graphic organizer. Please work on it for five minutes now. There is also an emotions and feelings vocabulary list at the end of this assignment to help improve your vocabulary. However, include no more than one of these words per paragraph, as they tend to “tell” and not “show.”

[Teacher moves through class helping students with questions.]

Now, share what you have written with the partner at your table. Whoever listens should ask two to three questions about the character relationship, what they want, and how they will show instead of tell their emotions, and whoever is telling their idea should make a note of their answers to improve their short story. Then switch roles, and do so again. You have five minutes. Go.

[Teacher moves around the room listening and assisting as needed. When time is up, ask students to share ideas from their graphic organizer with the class.]

You now have ten minutes to begin your first draft. Begin now.

[Teacher will observe students and assist as needed.]

Your final draft is due Wednesday. Tomorrow, you should revise your work. After you believe your work has zero grammar errors, has an interesting character with goals that is a personified object, you should print out your current draft, along with the revision checklist. Revise your short story using the checklist, then read your short story aloud to another student, and then show her or him your text. Your evaluator must check every box, and you should fix any problems they find. Turning in a short story with a single unchecked box will result in a score of zero on this assignment.

Work hard and have a nice day!

Emotion Short Story Graphic Organizer

Name:

Complete the following graphic organizer which will help you write your Emotion Short Story.

Relationship: Stories which feature emotions often also feature close relationships between characters, because it’s hard to get too excited about strangers. What is the relationship between the characters in your story? Mother and son? Teacher and student?

What does your character want?: This is similar to the goal in your previous assignment. At least one of your characters should want something, likely something from the other character in the relationship. Does the student want a better grade from their teacher? Does the mother want to know why her son ran away from home?

Emotion: List possible emotions that the characters may experience, such as worry, fear, sadness or love.

Show don’t tell emotions: In what ways might characters show the emotions above? Crying? Breaking a pencil? Sweating?

Resolution: Does your character get what they wanted?

Writer Self-Evaluation Checklists

To make your writing the best it can possibly be, you must complete the following checklists after writing your rough draft, but before giving your work to a peer reader and writing your final draft.

THESE CHECKLISTS ARE PASS/FAIL. ONE MISSING ELEMENT WILL RESULT IN A ZERO.

Format Checklist

Double-spaced In 12-point font Times New Roman font Title MLA formatting above the title (see attached page)

My Proofreading

There are no spelling errors I used capital letters at the beginning of sentences, for proper nouns,

for names, cities, countries I used end punctuation I checked tenses, and do not use future and past tense in the same

sentence This short story has characters in a relationship, with a goal, whose

emotions are shown and not told Emotions are shown not told at least four times in the course of the

story My short story is 300 to 500 words long

My Signature: ____________________________________________________________

Peer Listener and Reader Evaluation Checklist

After revising your own work with the above checklist, you will print out a copy and read it to a peer. Your peer will then evaluate your work with the following checklist.

There are no spelling errors

The writer uses capital letters at the beginning of sentences, for proper nouns, for names, cities, countries

All punctuation is used correctly I checked tenses so that the writer does not use future and past tense

in the same sentence This short story has characters in a relationship, with a goal, whose

emotions are shown and not told Emotions are shown not told at least four times in the course of the

story This short story is 300 to 500 words long

Peer Reader Signature: _____________________________________________________

Emotional Body Language 

Techniques > Using body language > Emotional Body Language

 

With careful observation, emotions may be detected from non-verbal signs. Remember that these are indicators and not certain guarantees. Contextual clues may also be used, in particular what is being said to the person or what else is happening around then.

AngerAnger occurs when achievement of goals are frustrated.

Neck and/or face is red or flushed. Baring of teeth and snarling. Clenched fists. Leaning forward and invasion of body space. Other aggressive body language. Use of power body language.

Fear, anxiety and nervousnessFear occurs when basic needs are threatened. There are many levels of fear, from mild anxiety to blind terror. The many bodily changes caused by fear make it easy to detect.

A 'cold sweat'. Pale face. Dry mouth, which may be indicated by licking lips, drinking water, rubbing throat.

Not looking at the other person. Damp eyes. Trembling lip. Varying speech tone. Speech errors. Voice tremors. Visible high pulse (noticeable on the neck or movement of crossed leg. Sweating. Tension in muscles: clenched hands or arms, elbows drawn in to the side, jerky

movements, legs wrapped around things. Gasping and holding breath. Fidgeting. Defensive body language , including crossed arms and legs and generally drawing in of

limbs. Ready body language  (for fight-or-flight) Other symptoms of stress

SadnessSadness is the opposite of happiness and indicates a depressive state.

Drooping of the body. Trembling lip. Flat speech tone. Tears.

EmbarrassmentEmbarrassment may be caused by guilt or transgression of values.

Neck and/ or face is red or flushed. Looking down or away from others. Not looking them in the eye. Grimacing, false smile, changing the topic or otherwise trying to cover up the

embarrassment.SurpriseSurprise occurs when things occur that were not expected.

Raised eyebrows. Widening of eyes. Open mouth. Sudden backward movement.

HappinessHappiness occurs when goals and needs are met.

General relaxation of muscles. Smiling (including eyes). Open body language

Mind-Body EMOTIONAL HEALTH

6 Things Your Body Language Says About YouByKASANDRA BRABAWAPRIL 4, 2016

1/7 CARLOS TORRES/SHUTTERSTOCK

Body language doesn't just refer to the signals you give your partner to let him know you're in the mood (or so completely not). Turns out, it's a scientifically proven means of communicating all sorts of messages without uttering a single word. In fact, a recent study found that simply nodding, tilting, or bowing your head can tip strangers off to your emotional state. 

Think of the last time you were in an elevator. If you were alone, you might have crossed your legs and leaned against the wall. But as soon as a stranger walked in, you probably uncrossed your legs and stood up straight. Changing your stance like that is actually a protective measure your ancestors passed down the genetic chain, says Joe Navarro, a retired FBI agent and author of the international best-

seller What Every Body Is Saying. "Your brain doesn't want you to be off-balance around strangers," he says. Standing up straight puts you on steady ground so you're ready to attack or run if necessary. (Sign up to get healthy living tips, weight loss inspiration, slimming recipes, relationship advice, and more delivered straight to your inbox!) 

Check out 6 things your body can reveal about your emotions, intentions, and state of mind—even if you don't say a word.

2/7 SOMEONE RICO/SHUTTERSTOCK

You really like someone.Your toes will point directly toward the person you want to get in your life every time you talk, says Lillian Glass, human

behavior and body language expert. 

3/7 GAUDILAB/SHUTTERSTOCK

You don't like someone.Your feet will betray you again. In fact, Navarro calls feet "the most honest body part." "If you're in a room with someone you don't like, you won't scowl or make faces because you don't want to come off as insensitive or mean," he says, "but your feet will almost immediately turn away from that person." That small act distances you from your frenemy.

4/7 DEAN DROBOT/SHUTTERSTOCK

You're impatient.Your hands will give you away—and so will your voice, says Susan Constantine, a body language expert and leadership coach. People who talk very fast and wave their hands in quick, choppy movements tend to be impatient.

5/7 FILE404/SHUTERSTOCK

You're overwhelmed.Your shoulders will slouch. Yes, it's an indication that you're stressed, but it can also be a sign of defeat, Constantine says. Consider it another reason to improve your posture (which some studies have shown might actually boost your confidence).

6/7 BLOOMIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES

You're compassionate.You'll touch your heart—literally. Constantine says people who are empathetic show it through little movements in conversation, like putting a hand on their heart or gesturing with palms up. In contrast, if someone says, "I'm so sorry," but makes no movement, he comes off as cold and uncaring. 

7/7 PISA PHOTOGRAPHY/SHUTTERSTOCK

You're lying.Lack of eye contact isn't the giveaway you might think; Constantine says someone who avoids your gaze could just be shy. But if someone avoids eye contact while leaning back, blinking a lot, scratching at her arms or nose, or stammering, then you've probably got a liar on your hands.

Feelings and Emotions Vocabulary Word List

A

acceptanceadmirationadorationaffection

afraidagitation

agreeableaggressiveaggravation

agonyalarm

alienationamazementamusement

angerangry

anguishannoyanceanticipation

anxietyapprehension

assertiveassured

astonishmentattachmentattraction

awe

B

beleagueredbewitched

bitterness bliss blue Boredom

C

calculatingcalm

caringcautious

closenesscompassion

composedcontempt

contentcontentment

crazycross

capricious charmedcheerful

complacentcompliant

conceitedconcerned

crabbycrazed

cruel

D

defeateddefiancedelighted

dependence

depresseddesire

disappointmentdisapproval

discontentdisenchanted

disgustdisillusioned

dislikedismay

displeasuredissatisfied

distractiondistress

disturbeddread

E

eagerearnest

easy-goingecstasyecstatic

elationembarrassment

emotionemotionalenamored

enchantedenjoyment

enragedenrapturedenthralled

enthusiasmenvious

envyequanimityeuphoria

exasperationexcited

exhaustedextrovertedexuberant

F

fascinatedfatalistic

fear

fearfulferocity

flummoxed

flusteredfondness

fright

frightenedfrustration

furiousfury

G

generousglad

gloating

gloomyglum

greedygrief

grimgrouchy

grumpyguilt

H

happinesshappy

harriedhomesick

hopelesshorror

hostilityhumiliation

hurthysteria

I

infatuatedinsecurity

insultedinterested

introverted irritationisolation

J

jadedjealous

jitteryjolliness

jollyjoviality

jubilation joy

K

keen kind kindhearted kindly

L

laid backlazy

likeliking

loathinglonely

longingloneliness

lovelulledlust

M

mad merry misery modesty mortification

N

naughty neediness neglected nervous nirvana

O

open optimism ornery outgoing outrage

P

panicpassionpassive

peacefulpensive

pessimismpity

placidpleased

prideproudpushy

Q

quarrelsome queasy querulous quick-witted quiet quirky

R

ragerapture

rejectionrelief

relievedremorse

repentanceresentment

resignedrevulsion

roused

S

sadsadnesssarcasticsardonic

satisfaction

scaredscorn

self-assuredself-congratulatory

self-satisfiedsentimentality

serenityshameshocksmug

sorrow

sorryspellbound

spitestingystoical

stressed

subduedsubmissionsufferingsurprise

sympathy

T

tendernesstense

terrorthreatening

thrilltimidity

tormenttranquil

triumphanttrust

U

uncomfortable unhappiness unhappy upset

V

vain vanity venal vengefulvexed

vigilance vivacious

W

warywatchfulness

wearinessweary

woewonder

worriedwrathful

Z

zeal zest