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2 SPRING 2012 | MAGAZINE


MAGAZINE | SPRING 2012 3

contentsSpring Issue

128 Cottonwood Ave. Hartland, WI 53029

Phone: 262.367.5303www.mymilwaukeelife.com

find us on facebook at wisconsin woman magazine

PLUS PUBLICATIONS PUBLISHERSMaureen & Tom Slattery

EDITORCyndi Strayer

ADVERTISING SALESMargo Lehmann ART DIRECTORNicole Hesse

GRAPHIC DESIGNERPeggy Duffy

OFFICE MANAGERPaulette Koeppen

4.........................Baby Advice10........Fit Kids, Fit Families16.................Summer Camps30........College Applications

2012

Features

Special Sections

Resources

7..........Taking Care of Teeth8.............Healthy Pregnancy11.............Fun Family Foods13.........Toddlers & Exercise15.................Private Schools20.................Sibling Rivalry

23...............Birthday Parties24..........................Saying No26.....................Teen Driving28..........Finding More Time32.....Preparing for College36...........................Calendar

Cover Photo of baby Allie by Samisha Carson-Olson of

Shooting StarsMain Street • Brookfield

WI • 53005 • 262-797-0451



HANDLE

care

WITH

answers to abundle of baby

questionsBY MARYANN BOUCHE


Q


uestions and babies go together like the snaps on those handy onesiestops. But, of course, when it comes to babies, few things are as simpleas those onesies.

It doesn’t take long for new parents to realize that a newborn is everchanging. Every baby is different, yet common questions do arise at thedoctor’s office. Below are some of the top concerns parents ask two localpediatricians: Angela Baker-Franckowiak, M.D., at the Froedtert & TheMedical College of Wisconsin’s Plank Road Clinic in Wauwatosa; andCheryl Dominski, M.D., at the Aurora Advanced Healthcare South 76thStreet Clinic in Milwaukee.

FAQS birth to six monthsSleeping: “For the first two to three months, babies sometimes do

not like to fall asleep lying flat,” notes Dr. Baker. Parents could let the babysleep strapped into a car seat, portable sleeper with inclined seat, babyswing or bouncy seat, she says. “Some bouncers even have vibration,which can help some babies sleep,” she adds. To keep baby safe, parentsneed to follow the products’ guidelines regarding weight and age limits.

Dr. Baker adds that the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) advis-es parents to place babies on their backs to sleep and to never use sleeppositioners, pillows, stuffed animals, heavy blankets or other soft or puffyitems in babies' cribs. Soft bedding can end up over an infant’s face,blocking the child’s breathing. The AAP also does not support sharing abed, citing the risk for suffocation. “If you want to keep your infant closeat night, place the baby in a Pack ‘n Play by the bed,” Dr. Baker suggests.

Putting your little one into the crib while awake and drowsy will help thebaby learn to fall asleep on his own. “If you rock him until he falls asleep,he will get used to that and it will be hard for him to go back to sleep whenwaking up during the night,” she says.

After a baby is three-to-four months old and definitely by six months,it is okay to let her fuss a bit before falling back asleep to help her learnto self-soothe. But, despite what Grandma may say, you won’t spoil ababy that is under six months by responding to the infant’s cries.

Colic: Most babies have some degree of colic between the ages ofthree weeks and three months. If the baby is fussy, parents can try over-the-counter remedies, such as infant gas drops (simethicone) or gripewater.

“Try holding the baby in different positions,” Dr. Baker says. “Droningsounds, such as a vacuum, soothes some; or buckle the baby into the carseat and place the seat on top of the dryer— that may have just the rightamount of vibrations.”

Parents sometimes think the baby formula is to blame, but the doctorurges parents not to change formulas without calling their doctor first.“Switching can cause an upset stomach, which will lead to more fussi-ness. The crying is usually due to colic, not allergies,” she notes.

Colic will dissipate as the baby gets older, but until then, a wailing babycan definitely raise a parent’s stress level. Dr. Baker tells parents, “If you’reat wit’s end, put the child down in the crib and step away; do deep breath-ing or something to relax you. The baby can sense when you arestressed.”

Feeding: Recommendations regarding when to introduce solids haschanged several times in the past 10 years, Dr. Baker points out. “Thenewest research showns that four-to-six months is a good time to startsolids, but not earlier than four months,” she says.

Also, many new moms have breastfeeding questions. Dr. Baker notesthat breastfeeding is recommended by the AAP for at least the first year,“but for some mothers, breastfeeding just doesn’t work out for that lengthof time; any amount of breastfeeding is good.”

Spit up and bowel movements: Ah yes, babies are adorable,but they are also messy. Parents should contact their pediatrician if thebaby’s spit up is projectile, Dr. Baker says, but otherwise, rest assured thatspit up is common for babies, even through the nose. The important thingis that the child is still gaining weight and is not showing signs of discom-fort.

Parents also have many questions regarding the color of the baby’sbowel movements. “As long as it is not black, bright red or chalk white, it’sokay,” Dr. Baker says.

Immunizations: Sometimes parents ask about the safety of thevaccines. Dr. Baker reminds parents that the link to autism has been dis-credited. “The researcher has admitted he faked the results,” she says.“And it’s safe to give a baby several immunizations in one visit. It’s impor-tant to get the vaccines to protect your baby from these diseases.”

baby

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The AAP reports that research has shown that when multiple vaccinesare given together, the side effects are no greater than when given indi-vidually. Check with your pediatrician for the proper timing for receiving thevarious vaccines.

Fever: Fever is a common worry with new parents, and if the infantis under three months and has a fever of 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit orhigher, you need to tell your doctor right away, she explains. However,after three months, fevers are not as ominous.

The AAP notes that the baby’s activity level is a more important indi-cator of the severity of the illness than the height of the fever. Parentsshould contact the doctor if the baby is very fussy or sleeping more thanusual. Watch for additional symptoms such as a cough, diarrhea, repeat-ed vomiting or an unexplained rash. “And be sure to keep the baby hydrat-ed,” adds Dr. Baker.

Wellness checkups during the first six months: Your pedi-atrician may want to see your little one in the doctor’s office a day or twoafter leaving the hospital, and when baby reaches two weeks, one month,two months, four months and at six months of age.

FAQs six months to 12 monthsFeeding: At this stage of development, many questions arise about

diet and feeding habits, such as what foods to introduce and when, andwhen to introduce a sippy cup, says Dr. Dominski.

“It’s important to introduce one new food at a time to help pinpoint thecause if there’s a food reaction such as hives, diarrhea or stomach ache,”

she notes. “Also, babies are not ready for finger foods until nine monthsof age.”

When baby is six months old, parents can put water in a sippy cup tointroduce cup drinking, but the child won’t be effectively drinking at thatage, she adds.

Sitting, crawling, walking: The second half of a baby’s first yearis dotted with those red-letter days that moms and dads eagerly anticipate.

Most babies can sit up unsupported at six months; some may be wob-bly until seven months. “If your child is not sitting unsupported by sevenmonths, let your doctor know,” Dr. Dominski advises.

Many babies are on the move by crawling at nine months of age, butsome little ones don’t like to crawl. Getting around by scooting on theirbottoms or bellies are other ways some tykes go mobile. The AAP statesthat as long as the child is learning to coordinate each side of the bodyand uses each arm and leg equally, parents need not be concerned.

“Walking is so variable,” Dr. Dominski says. “It can happen betweennine months and 15 months; if a child is not walking after 15 months, adoctor may do additional testing.”

Language and social development: After six or seven months, a babywill imitate the sounds of speech. Parents should repeat simple words andsyllables to their little one, such as “baby,” “go,” “hot” and the most popu-lar, “mama” and “dada.”

Dr. Dominski says that, “At the nine-month checkup, your doctor willask if the baby is making syllable sounds, like mama, although the babywouldn’t really be aware that it’s a word. By 12 months, a child probably

HANDLE WITH CARE continued on 7



can say ‘dada’ and ‘mama’, and know what the words mean.”Parents should also note how their baby interacts with familiar

faces—a baby should laugh, smile, have good eye contact and beinteractive with parents and other family members; sometimesstranger anxiety limits this interaction with the doctor and nurse.

Teething: Teething can start at four months; the average agefor the first tooth is six months to nine months. Although there isvariability when teething occurs, you should let your doctor know ifno teeth have appeared by baby’s first birthday, Dr. Dominski says.

“For the pain, I don’t recommend the topical painkillers,” sheadds, “but if the teething is causing night-time awakening, youcould give infants’ Tylenol.” She also suggests trying a coolteething ring that is kept in the refrigerator or a wet washcloth.

Illness: Colds are very common at this stage. “Babies oftenget colds between the ages of six months and eight monthsbecause any protection from the mother’s antibodies is gone,” Dr.Dominski explains.

Typical symptoms are cough, congestion, runny nose andfever. Parents should call the doctor if the baby is not sleeping oreating well, or has a fever above 103 degrees Fahrenheit for morethan three days.

Regarding ear infections, Dr. Dominski notes that a babypulling on the ears is not really a good indicator because he maybe just playing with his ears, but symptoms to watch for are sleep-ing problems, eating less or running a fever.

Sleeping: “Babies at this age thrive on routine,” Dr. Dominskisays, “so do similar activities before bed at the same time eachnight.”

At this age, parents can let the baby cry out a little at night.“Everyone, adults included, wakes up at night,” she says. “Thechild needs to learn to self-soothe to put himself to sleep. Butwhen cutting a tooth or dealing with a cold, it is harder for the childto fall back asleep.”

Wellness checkups from six to 12 months: Well-baby check-ups are usually scheduled at six months, nine months and 12months.

By baby’s first birthday, you and your pediatrician have seenthat tiny newborn change remarkably, and the highs and lows ofbecoming a new parent may seem like ages ago.

“When a parent is waiting for the baby’s next developmentalstep to occur, or for a cold to end, I like to remind them that timeflies by,” Dr. Dominski says. “Before you know it, the baby will bea teenager and leaving the house for college.”

Taking Care of Young TeethHealthy teeth and a healthy mouth give children more than

just a beautiful smile. A healthy mouth supports overall health,and it can help children perform better in school. But far toomany children have preventable oral health problems far tooyoung.

Tooth decay affects more than 25 percent of American chil-dren two to five years old, and half of children 12 to 15 yearsold - that's more than any other chronic infectious disease,according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control andPrevention. Left untreated, tooth decay causes pain and infec-tion, which can lead to problems in eating, speaking, playingand even learning.

There is plenty that parents and caregivers can do to helpprevent tooth decay and other oral diseases.

First Things First - The American Academy of PediatricDentistry (AAPD) says that children should have their firstvisit to a pediatric dentist no later than their first birthday. Thefirst tooth usually comes in between six and 12 months of age- schedule an appointment and get started on good oralhealth care from the beginning. The AAPD says that, in onestudy, children who saw a dentist before their first birthdayhad dental costs that were 40 percent lower in the first fiveyears than costs for children who had not seen a dentist bytheir first birthday.

Establish Good Habits - Kids need help establishing gooddental care habits. Make sure they brush twice a day, flossevery day, follow a healthy diet and visit the dentist every sixmonths for checkups and cleanings.l Using a soft-bristled brush, kids should brush for at

least two minutes. Some power toothbrushes have a built-intimer. Before teeth appear, clean baby's gums twice a day witha soft cloth or baby toothbrush and water.l Parents should floss young children's teeth once a day,

until they can do a good job themselves, at least until ageseven or eight.l Make sure they eat foods with vitamin C, which helps

gum tissue stay healthy, and calcium for strong teeth.Be Alert - Watch for signs of oral health problems. Talk to

your dentist if you see warning signs such as:l Changes in performance at school - listening, concen-

trating and learning.l Sucking on cheeks or lips.l Reluctance to smile.l Problems chewing foods.l Problems sleeping.l Aching teeth or gums.You can also talk to your dentist about sealants, which can

be applied to the chewing surfaces of teeth. Sealants are onemore way you can help prevent cavities and keep your kids'smiles healthy and beautiful. For more information about kids'dental health, visit http://ameritasinsight.com/tag/children/.

Source: Ameritas

HANDLE WITH CARE continued from 6



Google the word “pregnancy” and you’ll fetch a mind boggling two-mil-lion-plus results. Enough advise to make your head spin, not to mentionthe unsolicited advise you’ve probably already been receiving since youspilled the beans about your mini me.

Before you throw your hands up in the air and reach for the pick-les and ice cream (or in my case, as I, myself, am 12-weeks preg-nant, the ahem…salt and vinegar potato chips), Dr. Patrick Sims,OB/GYN of Aurora Health Care discusses the key componentsof a healthy pregnancy.

“I think one of the most common pitfalls women fall intowhen they find out they’re pregnant is the notion they need toeat for two right away,” he said. “They oftentimes use the preg-nancy as an excuse to eat more than they should.”

In fact, according to Mamashealth.com, normal-weight women only require an extra 300 calories eachday during the last six months of pregnancy. Thistotals about 1,900 to 2,500 calories a day.

Dr. Sims said some women don’t feel wellthroughout their pregnancy and may use eating asa substitute to make them feel better. “I would liketo see an overall weight gain of 20-30 pounds witha majority of the weight gain coming from the 20-40week mark of the pregnancy,” Dr. Sims said.

Three-quarters of pregnant women are affectedby morning sickness during the first trimester andabout half of all pregnant women suffer from bothnausea and vomiting, according to babycenter.com.

The skinny (yeah, right) on the nine months and beyond

BY JODY L. MAYERS

&Pink Blueand a healthy you!

PINK & BLUE continued on 9



Dr. Sims said there are things you can do to help with this commonaspect of pregnancy. He suggests keeping a snack by the bedside andeating it before you even get out of bed, and he said taking natural sup-plements such as vitamin D6 can also help control the symptoms. Andaccording to Dr. Sims, women should stay focused on staying hydratedthroughout the day and not beating themselves up if they don’t getenough calories in for the day. “I think many people feel guilty if they missa meal, but the body has internal mechanics,” he explained.

Other key components of maintaining a healthy pregnancy are keep-ing all prenatal appointments, seeking education about labor, pain controland the danger signs of pregnancy Dr. Sims said.

“Also women need to follow habits to avoid exposure to toxoplasmo-sis,” he said. Toxoplasmosis is a rare but serious blood infection that canbe contracted by eating infected, undercooked meat, contaminated fruitor vegetables or exposure to cat feces. Dr. Sims said safe practicesthroughout the pregnancy include not changing the litter box if you have acat in the house, wearing gloves if you work in the garden and warmingup deli meats to avoid Listeria, a type of bacteria that can cause food poi-soning.

Just as pregnancy might be an excuse for some women to eat more,it might be an excuse to skip exercise. However, Dr. Sims said all low riskpregnancies should involve some type of low-impact physical activity. “Thekey is to make sure you are able to have a conversation during the work-out with the person next to you and to make sure you are not bleeding orcontracting during exercise,” he said.

Pick your poison; virtually all exercise whether you can bend like aGumbee doll during yoga or enjoy pumping iron, it is fair game while preg-nant. Dr. Sims said as long as you remember the key points, your exer-cise regiment doesn’t need to change all that much when you’re pregnant.

We’ve all heard the phrase age is just a number, but is this true whenit comes to pregnancy? Dr. Sims said there is no age when the risks mag-ically change, although advanced maternal age is considered 35 when themom-to-be will deliver.

“These patients are offered more invasive testing because the chanceof finding something on tests such as an Amniocentesis and Chorionic vil-lus sampling (used to detect abnormalities) is greater than actually creat-ing a problem from the testing such as a miscarriage,” he explained.

Dr. Sims said all women with a low risk pregnancy should be taking anover-the-counter or prescribed prenatal vitamin, a DHA Omega supple-ment (which studies have shown may aid in brain development for thebaby) and 400 MCG of Folic Acid.

Women tend to pour so much energy and time into their pregnanciesand the baby once he or she is delivered that taking care of themselvessometimes gets put off the list of priorities, but that shouldn’t be the case,he cautioned. “Women forget about themselves and their relationship withtheir partner,” Dr. Sims said. “They need quality time away from the babyand need to take care of their own needs such as exercising, spendingtime with friends in a situation where they don’t have direct responsibilityfor the baby.”

Dr. Sims said it is also important to try catching up on sleep, if andwhen possible. He said most women experience some tears or sadnessafter the baby is born called postpartum blues; 90 percent of womenexperience the blues to a greater or lesser degree, the thing that differen-tiates it is the severity. “Signs can include frequent episodes of feelingdown, worthless, hopeless or helpless, not wanting to care for the infantor oneself, not wanting to leave the house or maintaining the house,” hesaid. “These can all be signs of a potentially more severe form of the bluescalled postpartum depression.”

Dr. Sims said speaking with a health care provider about these feelingsis a start; oftentimes the OB/GYN is the first line of contact. “Thesewomen can seek support from friends and family, counseling from the OBor therapist, and we can also treat postpartum depression with medica-tion,” he said. There are also natural ways to combat depression includingasking for support from the spouse, family and friends and exercisebeyond the six-week period after birth.

Sims said while home-births are on the rise and may sound appealingto many women because of cost-effectiveness or lack of intervention, hestill believes hospitals are the safest place to deliver your bundle of pink orblue.

“A lot has changed when it comes to births in the past 25 years, I tryto be an advocate for all my patients,” he said. “I am open to birth plansand try to provide a welcoming environment during deliveries. We involvespouses, family and friends as much as we can.”

Cheers (with apple juice or milk, of course) to a healthy nine monthsand beyond!

Here are some 300-calorie snacks to consider:A One medium apple and one cup of low fat or fat free non-flavored yogurt with a tablespoon of 100% fruit jam for flavor.B One cup of vanilla ice cream or fruit sorbet, topped with a teaspoon of chocolate sprinkles.C One hard-boiled egg sliced on a piece of whole wheat toast. You can add a thin layer of low fat mayo.D Raw vegetables (celery, tomatoes, carrots, kohlrabi) dipped in ½ cup of homemade humus.E One banana and 1 tbsp of natural peanut butter and a small handful of raisins.

F A small whole wheat tortilla with 1/3 cup of melted low fat cheese.G Six cups of air popped popcorn sprinkled with ¼ cup Parmesan cheese.HA ½ cup of shredded or cubed chicken breast on top of a bed of salad greens (1 cup).I A ½ cup of low fat cottage cheese with a ½ cup of fruit (apples, pears, melon, grapes).J Three 100-calorie pack snacks spread out throughout the day.Source: http://medsavailable.com/articles/healthy-snacks-for-pregnant-women

300-CALORIE snacks

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There has been and continues to be increased concern on thestate of our children’s health in this country, particularly the issue ofbeing overweight and obesity. And there should be concern, especial-ly since obesity now affects 17 percent of all children and adolescentsin the United States. That is triple the rate from just one generationago.

Why is childhood obesity such a big concern, and why is this happening?

Being overweight has serious and harmful effects on the body. Overweight children are more likely to have: · High blood pressure and high cholesterol, which are

risk factors for cardiovascular disease.· Increased risk of impaired glucose tolerance, insulin

resistance and type 2 diabetes.· Breathing problems, such as sleep apnea and asthma.· Joint problems and musculoskeletal discomfort.· Fatty liver disease, gallstones and gasto-esophageal

reflux (i.e. heartburn).· A greater risk of social and psychological problems, such as discrimination and poor self-esteem, which can continue into adulthood.

Childhood obesity seems to be on the rise because our children,and often times ourselves, are consuming too many calories and notgetting enough physical activity. Our society adds to this issue by pro-moting less healthy foods and physical inactivity.

In the past, our children walked to and from school every day, ranaround at recess, participated in gym class and played for hours afterschool before dinner. Meals were home-cooked with reasonable por-tion sizes and there was always a vegetable on the plate. Eating fastfood was rare and snacking between meals was an occasional treat.

Today, children experience a very different lifestyle. Walks to andfrom school have been replaced by car and bus rides. Gym class andafter-school sports have been cut; afternoons are now spent with TV,video games, the Internet, Ipods and cellphones. In fact, eight to 18year old adolescents spend an average of 7.5 hours a day usingentertainment media. And with parents being busier than ever, fami-lies eat fewer home-cooked meals. Snacking between meals is now

BY CYNDI STRAYER

FIT KIDS continued on 11



commonplace. On average, only one-third of highschool students get the recommended levels ofphysical activity.

Forty years ago, kids ate just one snack a day,whereas now they are trending toward three snacks,resulting in an additional 200 calories a day. And onein five school-age children has up to six snacks aday.

Portion sizes have also exploded- they are nowtwo to five times bigger than they were in years past.Our consumption of sugar-sweetened beverageshas also grown. In the mid-1970s, the averagesugar-sweetened beverage was 13.6 ounces com-pared to today, where kids think nothing of drinking20 ounces of sugar-sweetened beverages at a time.

All this adds up to the fact that we are now eat-ing 31 percent more calories than we were fortyyears ago–including 56 percent more fats and oilsand 14 percent more sugars and sweeteners. Theaverage American now eats fifteen more pounds ofsugar a year than in 1970.

For a lot of busy moms, it seems that kids’ activities domi-nate the family calendar. Between school, soccer practice,ballet rehearsal and everything in between, sometimes youneed to have a plan of attack for keeping the family satisfied.

Eating right goes a long way to giving everyone the ener-gy they need to fuel all those activities, but it can be trickycoming up with new ideas for meals and snacks the kidswill actually eat.

Blogger Meagan Francis, from The Happiest Mom,shares a few of her ideas for satisfying hungry kids andkeeping them going throughout the busy day.

A Quick breakfast bites Wrap up the first meal of the day in a tortilla with scram-

bled egg burritos. If you’re in a hurry, they can be a greaton-the-go breakfast.

Make a fruit smoothie or a toasted whole grain Englishmuffin with peanut butter and no-sugar-added jelly.

Skip the sugar-bomb-in-a-bowl cereal and go for wholegrain cereal with strawberry or banana slices.

B Stock up on easy-Fat free pretzels dipped in peanut butter (or your favorite

nut butter) is a creamy, crunchy snack that gives kids a little pro-tein to fuel their afternoon activities.

Let the kids help make a custom blend of homemade trail mix usingtheir favorite ingredients. Try walnuts, almonds, yogurt covered raisins,sunflower seeds and mini chocolate chips.

A delicious, low fat – and fun to eat – portable snack, string cheesepleases just about every kid.

Be prepared with snacks that are easy to eat in the backseat.Meagan likes to pack Heinz® Dip & Squeeze® Ketchup to pair withsnacks. This which holds three times more ketchup than traditionalpackets. You can buy them in a 10-pack box at the grocery store. They’reeasy to toss into your purse or the glove compartment and a great no-mess solution that little fingers can manage. Find more kid-friendly foodtips at: https://www.facebook.com/HeinzKetchup.

C Pack some lunchbox funStuff it – Fill pita pockets with their favorite chicken salad, low-sodi-

um deli meat, or peanut butter and a banana. Dip it – Give them finger foods to dip, like apples and peanut butter;

baby carrots and ranch or yogurt dip; or even oven fries and home-made chicken nuggets with Heinz® Dip & Squeeze Ketchup. Kids caneither peel back the lid to dip, or rip off the top to squeeze.

Build it – Let them build their lunch by packing the ingredients inseparate baggies or containers. Try a stacker with crackers, cheese anddeli slices.

Photo courtesy of Getty ImagesFIT KIDS continued on 12

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to-cart snacks



Helping Families Change These StatisticsWhile most of us have heard about First Lady Michelle Obama and her

mission to change these statistics with her “Let’s Move” program. Locally,Aurora, along with the YMCA, is also working to help children and fami-lies make healthier choice with its Fit Kids, Fit Families program.

Mary Kurkiewicz, RN and coordinator for the Waukesha Fit Kids, FitFamilies program, says the idea of the program is to help families makehealthier choices. “We just want to help people, to give them the tools toset realistic goals and empower them. We want to motivate them tobecome good stewards of their own health,” said Kurkiewicz.

This multidisciplinary program focuses on the prevention and treatmentof childhood weight concerns by bringing together families, the YMCA,schools, public health officials and the American Diabetes Association.The program’s goals are to improve children’s nutritional status, enhancechildren’s self-esteem, increase children’s activity levels and to create life-long healthy habits.

Using a team of registered nurses, dieticians and exercise specialists,this program is designed to improve family eating and activity behaviorsthrough instruction, planning and monitoring changes and progress. Theprogram specifically emphasizes nutrition, eating behavior and physicalactivity, all while using the S.M.A.R.T. goal method: Specific, Measurable,Attainable, Realistic and Time-bound, to promote a feeling of self efficacythrough the accomplishment of small goals. This builds confidence inachieving long-term behavioral change, which is necessary to become asuccessful self manager of eating and activity behaviors.

“The short-term goals of the program never include weight loss, it’sabout maintenance,” said Kurkiewicz. “It is a lifestyle change, and we arehere to help kids and their families realize that these changes won’t hap-pen overnight.”

Kurkiewicz stressed that a big part of the program addresses behavioras well as the role of the parents in their children’s health. “One thing westress is the importance of family meals. This is a sacred time for families.A time to bond.”

Fit Kids, Fit Families also addresses the feedingrelationship. “The idea behind this is addressing the

parents’ role of being the gatekeeper. The one in-charge of what’s being brought into the home,”said Kurkiewicz. “We also encourage parents tobe role models by trying new things and watchingwhat they eat in-between meals, etc.” The foun-dation for parents involved in the program

becomes Plan, Prepare and Provide. “One thing we discourage in controllingissues with food,” said Kurkiewicz, “Is

for example, a parent should neversay, ‘Why aren’t you eating yourvegetables?’ or ‘If you don’t eat

then no dessert.’ If you try to controlchildren with food, children will do the opposite.”

When it comes to talking about eating behav-ior, Kurkiewicz says the program spends a

great deal of time on talking about what isnormal eating; it also discusses what disor-dered eating looks like as well, such as eat-ing in a chaotic manner, fasting, binging,

skipping meals, undereating, overeating andeating without paying attention to what the body

wants and needs. “We also talk alot about feelings and emotionaleating,” says Kurkiewicz.

“Goal setting is foundationalto our program,” shesaid, “because ithelps us meas-ure our suc-cess. Settinggoals teach-es kids thatit’s natural torelapse. Wethen also teachthese kids how toforgive themselvesand get back on the pro-gram. We spend a whole les-son on this.”

Fit Kids, Fit Families isdesigned for children between theages of six and 17 years old. It is intendedfor children and their families who haveweight concerns and are motivated to makelifestyle changes that will result in overallwellness. It consists of group meetings thatare held one night weekly consecutiveweeks.

The fitness portion of the program ispresented in a fun, non-pressured way.The goal is to not only have the childrenincrease their physical activity, but toenjoy it. The exercise specialists helpparticipants try new activities andencourage them to interact withthe rest of the group. There areno extreme fitness regimensused in the program.

The Fit Kids, Fit Familiesprogram was developed sevenyears ago by Heidi Anderson, andit began at the West Bend YMCAand the Hartford Aurora. She is thecoordinator for Washington County. Theprogram was then duplicated in WaukeshaCounty four years ago. And the goal is to goAurora-wide with the program in the future.

Fit Kids, Fit Families runs four timesa year in summer, fall, winter andspring. If you are interested in theWaukesha County program, call MaryKurkiewicz at Aurora Health Care at (262) 896-6262 or (262) 490-4318. For theWashington County program contact HeidiAnderson at (262) 673-2300.

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Cardio is not only for adults. With the growing childhood obesityproblem, it’s important to get your older baby and toddler up and active.It’s easy to do, as young children are naturally motivated to move.

A child’s wonder years begin in toddlerhood, says Karen Ronney, anaward-winning national coach, author and the mother of three children.

“No longer helpless infants or babies, toddlers are ready, willing andable to begin playing activities and sports games that will build a strongfoundation of health, coordination, balance and fitness,” says Ronney,author of Proud Parents’ Guide to Raising Athletic, Balanced andCoordinated Kids. “It’s never too early to show kids how to maintainhealthy hearts, minds and bodies.”

Toddlers thrive on trying more advanced fine and gross motor chal-lenges. They like activities that engage eye-hand and eye-foot coordi-nation, strength, flexibility, speed, visual development, depth perceptionand spatial awareness, Ronney says.


l Total exercise to 30 minutes. Children ages twoand older should engage in at least 30 minutes of moderate intensityphysical activity each day, says Dr. Rebecca Unger, a pediatrician. “Thegood news is that this amount of physical activity can be additive overthe course of the day,” she says.

For young children, the physical activity can include both lifestyleexercise, such as walking up stairs, walking to do errands, helping withgardening and doing other recreational activities, such as swimming,dancing and playing a toddler-friendly sport or game.

Less structured activities count, including dancing to music in thehouse, running around the yard and playing at the play-

ground. “Children can engage in the activities all atonce or in several different stints, such as for 10 to15 minutes at a time,” Dr. Unger says.

BY KIM SEIDEL Following are some

simple guidelines to

get your toddler moving:

Young Children

NEEDEXERCISE, too!

EXERCISE continued on 14

Milw. fam New:Layout 1 3/9/12 12:00 PM


BY KIM SEIDELTry out these easy, low-cost games to play with your toddler from Karen Ronney, an award-winning national

coach, author and the mother of three children.Bottle Bowling: Collect up to 10 empty, 2-liter soda bottles. Fill with sand or water. Use a playground ball about

four inches in diameter. Make sure the ball is small enough for your child to hold in one hand. Play a game ofbowling by knocking down the pins.

Basketball Trash Pick Up: Take an empty household trash can and paper to be scrunched into balls. Havethe child aim to get the paper into the trash from varying distances.

Hallway Soccer: Place a laundry basket on its side at the end of a hallway. The opening faces your child toresemble a soccer goal. Have the child kick the inflatable ball into the basket at varying distances.

Bubble Tennis: Blow bubbles into the air and encourage your child to hit them with the fly swatter. Count thenumber of bubbles that make contact with the fly swatter.

Big Bunny Hops, Standing Long Jumps: Have your child pretend to be a bunny rabbit and leap forward in avery long jump. Begin in a balanced position with feet close together. Have them swing arms and then forwardas they jump ahead. Measure the distance.

Dog Dancing: Pretend to be a dog and walk or dance on all fours to fun music. Make wacky moves with thetorso, arms and legs while balancing on all fours.

Giraffe Steps, Long Lunges: Pretend to be a giraffe and walk with a tall neck and long lunging steps. Walkwith a tall back, neck and head. Hold each giraffe step and lunge for about two seconds to strengthen muscles.

Heel and Toe-On the Line You Go: Have your child walk barefooted in a heel-toe motion along a chalked ortaped line. Create a variety of patterns on the ground, such as a straight line, a T-formation, zigzag, squares or tri-angles. When it becomes easy, have them try it with their eyes closed.

There’s no need to worry about formal exercise sessions for your tod-dler, says Dr. Susan Joy, who specializes in sports health. Toddlers gener-ally like to be active, so allow them time to free play, walk and run around.

l Be a good role model. To encourage physical activity, themost important moves parents can make for toddlers is to be active them-selves. “Children of active parents are much more likely to be active,” Dr.Joy says. “Children of obese parents are much more likely than childrenof healthy weight parents to grow up to be obese.”

Childhood overweight and obesity rates are dramatically increasing.“Being a good role model in terms of exercise, physical activity and healthyeating is vitally important to your child’s future health,” she says. “Exercisecan even offer special time for you to spend with your child and allow youto bond with him or her doing things like walking and yoga.”

l Limit computer and TV time. Along with role model-ing active behavior, experts agree limiting television and computer time fortoddlers is vital to maintaining an active lifestyle. This keeps sedentarybehaviors from creeping into their daily routine. “Encourage their naturaltendency to be on-the-go by creating a safe, supervised environment andabove all, stay active with them,” Dr. Joy says.

l Compliment your child. When playing with young chil-dren “timing is everything,” Ronney says. A well-rested and recently fedchild is most receptive to learning and play. Keep more structured playsessions to 10 minutes or less.

“Kids love to play fun games that are in keeping with their short atten-tion spans,” she says. “Also, limit explanations of the game to about 10words in 10 seconds. Better yet, talk while you demonstrate and get rightto the business of child’s play.” Also during game play, Ronney suggestsusing positive words of encouragement to compliment a child’s efforts.This will help a child develop a love of learning and fitness and positiveself-esteem.

l Reap the benefits. Toddlers gain many of the same bene-fits from exercise that active adults do. These advantages include ahealthy weight to height proportion, prevention of cardiovascular problemsand a reduced chance of diabetes and cancer in their later years.

“Children who start ahead by being fit toddlers have a great opportuni-ty to become fit teens and adults,” Ronney says. “The more children areexposed to fun, physical challenges in the first six years, the greaterchance for brain and body development, which will lead to success in ath-letics, academics, music and artistic activities in the elementary, middleand high school years.”

Kim Seidel is an award-winning writer and editor, wife and mother oftwo daughters in Wisconsin.

Simple Games for Toddler Physical Fitness

Private Schools

Private SchoolsPrivate Schools

MISUNDERSTOOD

EXERCISE continued from 13



Montessori Schoolof WAU K E S H Awww.msow.orgMontessoriSchool

of WAUKESHA

Visit www.msow.org for details and registration2600 Summit Ave. | (262) 547-2545 | www.msow.org

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When it comes to private schools, people tend to have cer-tain thoughts about them that tend to be untrue. Here aresome common misconceptions:

1. PRIVATE SCHOOLS ARE FOR RICH KIDS.While that may have been true 60 years ago, today privateschools are more about championing diversity.

2. THEY ARE EXPENSIVE. When compared to thecost of educating students in public schools, some privateschools actually seem inexpensive. Private schools receive nostate or local funding, existing only on tuition and donations.And most private schools also have financial aid programsavailable for families who may need it.

3. THEY ARE EXCLUSIVE. The only exclusive schoolsthat exist any more are religious schools, which tend to requirefamilies and students to sign a profession of faith and adher-ence to the church’s particular religious practices and beliefs.

4. THEY ARE UNREGULATED. Private schools, likepublic schools, are regulated by the state’s education depart-ment and must comply with regulations concerned with mini-mum hours and so on.

5. THEY ARE ONLY FOR STUDENTS OF A CER-TAIN FAITH. While many private schools began as churchschools, most of them have an open door policy regarding stu-dents of other faiths. However, many still require students toattend mass or chapel.

6. THEY ARE BETTER THAN PUBLIC SCHOOLS.When you compare public and private schools, they are verysimilar in most respect excepts, one: class size.

Pr

BY CYNDI STRAYER



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BY KIM SEIDEL


The funny thing about sibling rivalry is that when your childrenargue, they're not just fighting over the TV remote or the lastslice of pie. These rivalries run deeper than that.

"Ultimately, sibling arguments are not about toys or TV orwho got more gifts: Siblings argue because they are trying tofind their own place in the family," says Heidi Smith Luedtke,a personality psychologist who specializes in personal devel-opment, people skills and parenting. "Sibling arguments are areflection of kids' feelings about who is more important, whohas control and who gets more attention from parents.

"When kids perceive they got less time, attention orrespect from parents, they fight, says Luedtke. “And whenthey feel less important, or 'lower' than their sibling, theyfight."

Heather Kempskie, co-author of The Siblings' Busy Book,echoes Luedtke's findings. "Beneath the surface of argu-ments, what siblings truly are competing for is their parent'stime, attention and resources," she says. "It's a battle thatbegins early and lasts a lifetime."

Kempskie and her co-author, Lisa Hanson, who is also heridentical twin sister, found a daunting statistic: Siblings can bemeaner to each other than they are to a friend by 700 per-cent. Yes, you read correctly--700 percent!

"That's because a sibling will be around forever, andfriends wouldn't put up with that," Kempskie says.

l Parents hear similar disagreements in their own homes"Siblings often argue when they don't want to share toys

or when they can't get along in their shared space - like aplayroom, bedroom or living room," Luedtke says. "They maystruggle over who gets to choose the next TV show or whosepiece of cake is bigger. They may claim parents always takethe other sibling's side or that parents always go to one child'sgames or that parents buy more goodies for one child than theother."

lWhen to interveneIt may ease your mind to know that sibling rivalry, from

short arguments to long shouting matches, are normal. Siblingrivalry is a natural and positive part of your children's lives.According to some experts, kids ages three to seven years oldengage in some kind of conflict 3.5 times an hour, Kempskiesays.

"It's normal to want to level the playing field, but parentsneed to help kids develop skills they need to stick up for them-selves, rather than doing it all for them," Kempskie says.

As a fight escalates, parents should certainly step in whenone or all of the siblings are too young to verbalize their feel-ings or come up with a solution to a problem. It's also impor-tant to intervene whenever the children's safety is in question,according to Kempskie.

If no safety issues are involved, parents can sit back andwatch for a while, Luedtke advises. "Explain that you are con-fident that they can come up with a fair and reasonable solu-tion," she says.

If nothing changes in five to 10 minutes, Luedtke says,start asking questions: "What is the problem?" (Give eachchild a chance to answer.); "What could you do to solve theproblem?" and "What can I do to help you with that?"

If kids can't find an equitable solution, you may have toissue a directive, Luedtke continues. These directives may begiving the toy or TV a time out, sending kids to separaterooms or creating a sharing system (child No. 1 gets threeturns, then child No. 2 takes three turns, etc.).

"During a calm family time, talk to your children and makeit clear that bossiness, yelling and fighting will have a conse-quence," Kempskie says. "Remind them of what you expectfrom them. Good behavior includes using manners, not argu-ing, talking nicely to each other and doing something withoutbeing asked."

SIBLINGS continued on 22



Planning a

Birthday Party Birthday Party


l Help siblings be friendsAlthough a home may seem constantly chaotic with argu-

ing, parents can help their children build solid relationshipswith one another.

"One of the best practices is to institute the 'no compare'rule," Kempskie says. "Try to never compare your children.Encourage their uniqueness and let them know how specialthey are to you."

Parents need to try to "stay above the fray," Luedtke says."Parents should be careful not to take sides in sibling squab-bles.

"Emphasize the importance of respect and civility. Siblingswill not always agree with one another. Kids need to knowthat it's okay to get angry, but it isn't okay to speak in a rudeand hostile tone. Name calling isn't acceptable either."

Another way to improve family relationships is for parentsto spend time alone with each child on a regular basis. One-on-one time is a great way to lessen competition for yourtime, Kempskie says.

In addition, the child gets a chance to express their feel-ings and have a private conversation with dad or mom,Luedtke says. "Get to know your kids as individuals, not justas siblings," Luedtke says. "When kids feel they are treatedas individuals, they are less likely to feel rivalry over parents'attention and affection."

Parents need to do a realistic assessment of their ownbehavior. "It's entirely possible parents are playing favorites,even if they aren't aware that they're doing it," Luedtke says."Parents may feel a greater need to protect a younger sib-ling's interests because they believe the younger sibling can'tstick up for himself or herself. Or they may intervene in favorof a shy or silent child if they believe the aggressive child hasthe upper hand."

l Benefits of rivalry"When they fight over possessions, tease each other and

even when they are getting along, they are learning valuablelife lessons," Kempskie says. These lessons include: how tosocialize, negotiate, stand up for themselves, find theirstrengths and weaknesses and figure out productive ways tohandle feelings.

Kempskie and her twin believe that siblings are a gift. "Weshare a history with our siblings," she says. "They are theones we can remember fond childhood memories with. Theyare the ones that stick up for us when we really need a truefriend. They are the ones that we will grow old with. Siblingsare the longest relationship many of us have in our lifetime."

Kim Seidel is a Wisconsin-based writer with two school-aged daughters who constantly fight and make up.

SIBLINGS continued from 21


Birthday Party Birthday Party Birthday Party Birthday Party


Birthday parties can be both a blessing and a curse. For the child, it is ablessing. For the parents, sometimes a birthday party can be a curse (at thevery least, it can become a hassle trying to figure out what to do and who toinvite). For the first couple of birthdays it is usually quite simple.

The first birthday is all about friends and family, especially since the childhas no idea what is really going on. And by the second birthday, the child isjust starting to understand the idea behind presents and special occasions.Because of this, as a parent, you may want to expand the guest list a bit toinclude a couple of parents you regularly see during play groups or at day-care. Your child may even have a favorite friend or two, so invite them aswell.

However, when your child turns three years old, everything changes inrelation to having birthday parties. As some say, "The madness begins."Children suddenly begin talking about what presents they want, what theywant on their cake and they definitely have their favorite friends. This is whenthe guest list, party theme, location, cost and the question of gift bagsbecome complicated. Here are some general rules of party planning thatmay help.D THE GUEST LISTA good rule is to never distribute invitations at school or day care unless

you are planning to invite every child. If you are selecting just a few, then mailthe invitations directly to the people you are inviting. You could also use anonline invitation. And if you were invited and attended another child's birth-day party then it is proper etiquette to return the invitation to your own child'sbirthday party.D THE FOODYou don't have to go to a great deal of fuss or spend a lot of money to

make your guests happy. Kids love anything they can dip, so veggie sticksand ranch dip are always good, and you can't go wrong with apple slices andcaramel dip. Cheese and crackers and sliced fruit can also go over quite wellwith the kids.

Some other great food ideas that both please your guests and fill themup include: pizza delivered from a good local pizzeria; having a barbecue withgrilled hot dogs, hamburgers or chicken; try a deli plate with a variety ofbreads, cheeses, sandwich meats and other toppings; a taco bar or servehomemade food such as lasagna or pasta.

As for the cake, instead of the grocery store cake, cupcakes are a greatoption. And if your child and his or her friends are old enough (and you arebrave enough), allow the kids to decorate their own cupcakes. By doing this,it becomes an activity as well as their dessert. You could also make a pan ofbrownies and put a candle in it. The kids don't mind and they love brownies.D TIME OF DAYThe age of your child and how much responsibility you want to assume

will help determine when your party will take place. For example, if you havethe party at lunch or dinnertime, then a meal is expected. If you don't want

to serve guests, have your party in the mid-afternoon and simply providecake and snacks. And if the kids are young and still need naps, it’s a goodidea to start the party at 11:00 a.m. or after 3:00 p.m. to avoid crabby, tiredguests. With this age group, it is also better to keep the party under twohours for other obvious reasons.D LOCATION AND ACTIVITIESWith both real estate and birthday parties, it is all about the location.

Where the party takes place depends on what the child wants to do. If yourchild wants to roller skate, bowl, rock climb or go to a movie or a comedyshow (such as Comedy Sportz) then you go to that location for the party.This can be an advantage for the parents, while it may cost more, having aparty at another birthday party location takes away the set up, the food andthe clean up. This is great for busy parents and the kids have fun.

Can you have a great party at home? Of course, you can with some plan-ning and preparation. There are also a number of websites out there thathave birthday party ideas that include ideas for all ages, including teens.Party Themes can be based on Princesses, Pirates, Cupcake Wars, MovieStars, Dance Party, Sleepovers, etc. However, whatever the party theme,activities are important. You may decide to rent a Jump House, have a piña-ta or hire a magician. One thing is for sure, kids need to have structure andto keep busy. D CREATIVE PLANNINGA great party simply needs some planning. Sitting down for a few hours

and planning the big day can do wonders for your stress level and the qual-ity of the party experience. Discuss with your child what ideas he or she hasand then get busy and start partying--at least party planning.

BY CYNDI STRAYER



to teensSaying

BY LISA GRANT

Teenagers and dogs have at least one thing in common: They both live inthe moment.

The teenage brain may be the same size as yours, but the self-regulatorycenters that govern judgment and impulsivity have yet to reach maturity. Thisresults in difficult exercising control and delaying gratification. In other words,if you wave a treat in front of a puppy, then set it down in front of him, he willnot hesitate to indulge. It’s not that much different with teenagers.

That means you, mom and dad, will have to say “no” occasionally. Just towarn you up front, “no” is the most hated word in a teenager’s vocabulary. Theydon’t like to say it, and even more so, they don’t like to hear it.

Some parents eventually end up banning this word from their own vocabu-laries because of the inevitable reaction from their teens. It doesn’t have to bethis way. There is a tactful and effective way to pull this off and keep the peace.

An immediate “no” will spark the fireworksright away. Even if you think you know theanswer to your teen’s request, take the time toreally listen. Ask questions and request details.This not only shows you are interested in yourson’s or daughter’s life, it also teaches yourteenager to think things through before they askfor permission. Take some time to consider therequest, and if you need to say “no,” explain why.

SAYING NO continued on 25



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No matter what your teen says or does, keep yourcool. Do not respond to insults, accusations or tempertantrums. Walk away if necessary, offering to talk aboutit later.

If possible, avoid using your authority as the parentas the only explanation for turning them down.Address concerns by pointing out possible conse-quences in the form of a question. For example, “Haveyou thought about what might happen if somethinggoes wrong?”

Unless the request may lead to physical or moralperil, ask for or offer alternatives.

Do not allow your child to divide and conquer.Parents need to reach a decision privately and be incomplete agreement. Decide ahead of time whichparent will do any negotiating.

Consistency and respect are the keys to main-taining a peaceful home when saying “no” to yourteenager. In turn, your son or daughter will learneffective communication skills. I promise that therewill come a day when you will be spared the grief ofhaving to say “no.”

Lisa Grant is a Wisconsin-based freelance writer andmother of three who is good at saying “no.”

SAYING NO continued from 24



All too often, news headlines tell of another teen killed in a car crash. It isestimated that 35 percent of teen casualties are due to vehicular driving acci-dents, making it the leading cause of death among teenagers in the U.S.,according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

Through their participation in a high school program called Project Ignition,thousands of young people have stood up to this statistic and worked tireless-ly to change the driving behaviors of their peers and broader communities.

If you have a teen driver in your family who you want to help become saferon the road, here are some tips from students in Project Ignition:

Are you able to give your teenager the car keys with confidence?

DRIVER SAFETY continued on 27



FOpen the lines of communicationTalk with your teen about distracted driving. Make sure you both understand what things

are dangerous distractions.Listen to your teen. Ask about what it’s like being in the car with other teens, and what dis-

tractions there are to handle.

FOffer supportEncourage your teen to use his or her voice. Role-play with your teen so that he can

become comfortable saying things like, “We both want to live, so let me answer your phone ortext while you drive.”

Help your teen get involved with programs at school like Project Ignition, so that she canbe a positive example and make an impact.

FSet rulesSet family ground rules for texting and calling while driving. Your teen needs to know you

have high expectations, and what the consequences will be if the rules aren’t followed. Know where your teen is going, who he will be with and what time he is expected home.

FBe a positive exampleModel the behavior you want your teen to exhibit. If the phone rings while you’re driving,

don’t answer it. Encourage your teen to answer your phone or text, allowing you to drive moresafely.

Speak up about distracted driving to your friends and peers in front of your teen driver. Helpset an example, spread the word and save lives.

Photo courtesy of the National Youth Leadership Council

DRIVER SAFETY continued from 26



1. Determine prioritiesOrganizing from the Inside Out by Julie Morgenstern

What I like best about Morgenstern’s famous work is that she counsels people to reflecton their unique personalities and situations, before tackling organization and time manage-ment. And sometimes as parents, we just need to take it one day at a time, hour-by-hour oreven minute-by-minute on more challenging days.

One of the biggest causes of a scattered schedule is not being sure of your goals and pri-orities, according to Morgenstern. If one of your priorities is to spend more time with your fam-ily on weeknights, for example, you may reconsider a volunteer request or another sportsactivity for your child.

Morgenstern’s strategy for time management involves scheduling core activities to accom-plish your goals and to set your priorities. Some typical areas for a married working mother toadd on her calendar include time for self, family, work, relationships, finances and communi-ty.

Morgenstern recommends creating a “time map,” beginning when you awake and endingwhen you go to sleep. Typically created hour by hour, this kind of schedule allots specificspaces in your day for tending to those core areas. It serves as a foundation from which towork. It forces you to keep your life in balance and gives you the time you need to accomplishyour goals.

Organizing from the Inside Out

by Julie Morgenstern

If one of your goals involves getting more organized so you have more time for your family,you’re not alone. Recent polls conducted by General Nutrition Centers, Quicken and othersshow that more than 50 percent of Americans have vowed to appreciate loved ones and spendmore time with family and friends this year. The good news is that with advice from expertsand some personal motivation, it’s not too difficult to carve out more time for those you careabout most.

Following are a few of the ideas I’ve found most helpful from a variety of authors andprofessional organizers. Browse through these practices and consult books and websites todetermine which style best matches your current situation. Sometimes, it’s a combination ofstrategies that you will find works most effectively for you and your family.

4FindingMORE TIME

BY KIM SEIDEL

Keys to

MORE TIME continued on 29



2. Make listsMake Every Second Count: Time Management Tips and Techniques for More Success and Less Stress by Robert W. Bly

Bly is a strong advocate for making lists. He credits his productivity to a series of lists he keeps on his com-puter. Bly maintains his most critical lists are daily to-dos, current work and long-term projects. You can alsouse paper to make your lists if you prefer.

He even types his daily to-do list and then posts it on his wall by his workstation. From this list, he createsan hour-by-hour schedule. He revises his list every day.

Bly also checks out his long-term projects about once a week. These aren’t urgent, but they help him reachlong-term goals. He’ll usually put in a few hours each week on one of the projects that interests him.

3. Keep a calendarConfessions of an Organized Homemaker by Deniece Schofield

Known as “America’s leading home management expert,” Schofield was writing aboutorganization long before it became an industry. Schofield offers a common-sense approach totime management.

Her advice is simple and doesn’t require a lot of money for ineffective products. She’s a pro-ponent of keeping a calendar. The easiest way to organize your time is with your paper, onlineor phone calendar. Choose the system that works best for you. The most important action is touse your system every day.

For your personal calendar, use pages that give you plenty of space to write, includingmonthly and daily sections. Add in personalized sections, such as items you need to purchase,birthdays, dinner menus and books you want to read. Always take your planner with you so youcan add in important dates and reminders as they come up.

Along with keeping a personal calendar, Schofield advises using a family calendar, one thatis large and hung in a central location at your home. To keep the entire family well coordinat-ed, mark down music lessons, game times, business trips and other activities that affect fami-ly members.

4. Set goalsWishcraft: How To Get What You Really Want by Barbara Sher

First self-published in 1979, Wishcraft is considered a classic in self-help manuals. Similar to Schofield,Sher advocates always planning for tomorrow. By taking that action, you can focus on the actions needed tobe taken for the next day and ensure you’re prepared for it.

Sher is most encouraging about considering your “larger-than-life plan.” Don’t give up on your big dreams.It’s never too late to start. Put the next five years into a real time frame that you can see.

Of course, you don’t know what will happen in reality. “But all of the forces that will be operating on yourlife over those years – chance and love and loss and luck, health and economics and history – your wish andwill, your own unfolding, should be one of the strongest. And it can be,” Sher writes.

Keep a simple sketch of the next five years on your “planning wall.” Writing your daily goals can give you that extra nudge to meet your deadlines because your long-range

goals will remind you of all the adventures waiting for you – in the next year and beyond.Kim Seidel, writer and editor in Wisconsin, enjoys reading and writing about organization and time manage-

ment techniques.

MORE TIME continued from 28



It's as competitive as never before to get into college. The slower sum-mer months offer the perfect time for your incoming high school seniorsto work on completing their college application. Then they will be ready tosend a quality application into their top choices in the early to late fall.

Encourage your student to have a competitive edge with his or her col-lege application. There are several components: class rank/grade pointaverage, high school curriculum, test scores, extracurricular activities,essays and recommendations. Each part and how the entire package ispresented is important to stand out in the crowd.

"I have read thousands of applications," says Kathryn C. Kiefer, direc-tor of admission for the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse. She's beenworking in college admissions for 25 years. "Some applications are verylong, and honestly, kind of boring. I really want to know more about theapplicant and why they are interested in attending here. I want the studentto take the time to write what they would like us to know about them thatwe cannot find on high school transcripts or with standardized test scores."

Ideally, students have visited several institutions during their junior year,and have it narrowed down to about two to three places they would like toattend, Kiefer says. By your student's senior year, answering questionsand writing essays on the application are the last things a student has con-trol over.

All University of Wisconsin System Campuses require students to sub-mit The University of Wisconsin System Application for Admission(www.apply.wisconsin.edu). Its two main parts are the factual and theopen-ended question sections.

UW-La Crosse starts accepting college applications Sept. 15, andKiefer reads them as they start coming in. "While every institution hasvarying deadlines for receiving applications, it's smart to apply early, findout which institutions you are admitted to, and then take some time tomake the final decision about where to attend," Kiefer says.

Make sure you and your child are aware of the deadlines and how eachcollege he or she applies to handles the time line for receiving collegeapplications.

2 Ensure accuracy of the factsDon't underestimate the significance of filling out the factual section.

It may seem mundane, but each question is valuable and accuracy counts.That means accuracy in grammar and spelling, as well as the informationprovided. Encourage your student to read each question carefully to

ensure he or she responds with the most accurate data possible.Kiefer is not surprised when she finds errors in this section, as she

often discovers them. "It may or may not be held against the student,"Kiefer says. "But, when we can only select one application for every fourfreshman that apply, any mistakes can work against a student."

One consistent error that Kiefer finds is the wrong university listed asthe school where the student is applying. Kiefer understand that this hap-pens because a student typically applies to more than one university anduses much of the same information for each application. While the studentis cutting and pasting words from one form to another, they forget tochange the university's name on the current application.

Again, this misstep may or may not be held against a student in thecompetitive college admissions process. When a tough decision needs tobe made between two outstanding applications, however, the one with nomistakes may be chosen over the one with errors. It's best to take nochances and to carefully proofread each application before sending it,Kiefer says.

Important to note: Encourage your student not to write any "text" lan-guage that teens use today to communicate on his or her computers andphones.

2 Share unique talents, qualitiesIn the second section, the open-ended questions give students a great

opportunity to show the university who they are on a personal level. Thinkof the factual section as just that, basic facts about the student. Now yourchild has the chance to "shine," so to speak, for the admissions officers.

"The open-ended area can make or break a college application," Kiefersays. "Encourage your student to write quality statements and proofreadthem. And if your student allows, proofread it for them."

Applications in the UW-System have three questions. First, he or sheis asked to list extracurricular activities by priority and explain why he orshe placed them in that order. Applicants can reveal in a compelling waywhy those involvements have been important to them in high school,Kiefer says.

The second question asks the student what he or she can contributeto the university where he or she desires to attend. The applicant can writeabout special talents and qualities that would be an asset to the commu-nity, Kiefer says.

BY KIM SEIDEL

Competitive CollegeApplication Process:

Child be Accepted

The

How to Help Your

APPLICATION continued on 31


The third and last question is not the least important by far, asking thestudent if there is anything he or she would like to share. This questioncan be viewed as the chance to explain an area in the factual section.

For example, one semester the student's grades dropped lower thanusual for her overall record. Perhaps, the student missed a lot of schoolduring that time because of illness. "Some students may think we may notnotice those lower grades or other inconsistencies, but we will," Kiefersays.

Other good ideas for the third question include: sharing how he over-came an adverse situation; whether she has a learning disability and howshe handles it; or why he may not have participated in many extracurricu-lar activities due to personal or family circumstances.

2 Test scores add upTest scores are another important part of the college application.

Wisconsin is an "ACT dominated state," which means that most college-bound students in Wisconsin take the ACT instead of the SAT. However,the University of Wisconsin System institutions will accept either ACT orSAT scores for the applicants.

The month of April in your child's junior year is the ideal time for himor her to take the ACT test, Kiefer says. It's often offered at the highschool in which your student attends. Most students take the ACT testmore than once. In Wisconsin, this does not put your child at a disadvan-tage. Most institutions will accept the student's highest composite ACTscore when considering a student for admission.

In addition to ACT scores, college admissions officers place a strongimportance on the classes the student took in high school. While a stu-dent's grade point average is critical, the difficulty of the courses the stu-dent engaged in also matters in surveying the college application, includ-ing senior year.

"I understand that the immediate goal for many parents is to have theirchild graduate from high school," Kiefer says. "But taking college prepcourses is very important. It's good for parents to realize that the strengthand rigor of high school courses will help their student be successful at thecollege level. Admission is often more competitive than it was in the 70sand 80s, when most of these parents attended college and minimumcoursework taken in high school was acceptable."

College admission officers will look at the courses the student took andwhether he challenged himself or herself with each passing semester dur-ing high school. The tougher the courses taken, the stronger the applicantwill be in the admissions process.

Kim Seidel is a Wisconsin-based writer with two daughters who will becollege-bound in a few years.


Waukesha County Parks...

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For more information log ontowww.waukeshacountyparks.com

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Eble Park - BrookfieldMonday - Friday: 12:00 pm - 3:00 pmSaturday & Sunday: 2:00 pm - 4:00 pm

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Learn to Skate Program | Public Skate | Birthday PartiesAdult Hockey Leagues | Youth Hockey Leagues

Just Between Friends May 17 - 19 (Kids gear & clothing resale)

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Retzer Nature Center's"School" of the Land

Programs Every SaturdayNEW

APPLICATION continued from 30


uring a recent trip to a youthconvention, the movie “HomeAlone” was shown on the bus.To my surprise, some of thekids had never seen themovie. When the mother real-

ized she had left her child at home, and the phoneswere not working, a teen sitting behind me remarked,“Well, why doesn’t she just use her cell phone?”

Today’s adolescents have grown up in an era ofnearly constant communication. "They have been themost protected and programmed children ever - carseats and safety helmets, play groups and soccer

Prepare teens for the pressures to be

faced in an environment where they

will answer to no one but themselves.

Talk about situations that might arise

and how to handle them.

D

BY LISA GRANT


COLLEGE continued on 33


4

4

leagues, cell phones and e-mail," said MarkMcCarthy, assistant vice president and dean of stu-dent development at Marquette University inMilwaukee.

So, when the time comes for them to go off tocollege, many parents - and students - have a hardtime letting go. This is often a result of a parentingstyle dubbed “helicopter parenting,” a tendency tostay so close to kids they never have to deal with acrisis on their own.

The problem with micromanaging children’s livesbecomes more evident when they leave home."Many young adults entering college have the aca-demic skills they will need to succeed but are some-what lacking in life skills like self-reliance, sharingand conflict resolution," said Linda Walter, anadministrator at Seton Hall University in New Jerseyand co-chairwoman of the family portion of new-student orientation.

Letting goYou’re already dreading it . . . the day you have

to drop Johnny or Susie off at college. You can’tbear to think of your child facing life without youthere to make things better at the end of the day.The best thing you can do is to start the processof letting go now, and the sooner the better. Notonly will the transition be less heartbreaking foryou, but Johnny and Susie will also be betterequipped to make responsible decisions.

Start by letting your son or daughter takeresponsibility for choosing a college. Youstill provide guidance and wisdom, butlet your teen to be in-charge of theprocess. Allow opportunities to makemistakes, and then demonstrate howto pick up the pieces and begin again.Instead of giving a “to do” list with a timeline,asking your teen “What if” or “Have youthought about how you’ll handle” questions ismore productive for everyone.

Reality checkIf you’ve been blessed with a child who

consistently gets straight A’s in high school,brace yourself. The academic world of col-lege is very challenging, even for the beststudents. Not only is the work more difficult,students must also learn to be self disci-plined in study habits.

If you’ve been scouring your child’shomework planner on a daily basis, stop itnow! Make your teen responsible for gettingwork done on time and studying for tests, andallow them to reap the consequences if theyfail. A little pain now will prevent a big hurt lateron.

In an increasingly com-petitive global market, edu-cation is becoming moreimportant. But many familiesfind the cost of education tobe outside their grasp.According to a study com-missioned by the USDepartment of Education,from the 2001-02 to the2010-11 academic year, thecost of attending a four-yearundergraduate in-stateschool rose by 47.3 percent.

With ever-increasingeducation expenses, manyfamilies are accumulatingsignificant debt, putting stu-dents further behind.However, with planning andfinancial management, stu-dents can control theirfinances. Here are some tipsfor parents of soon-to-becollege students.

Start the conversation.Talk with other parents,teachers and guidancecounselors about the cost ofeducation. Make contactwith the student financial aidoffices of the colleges onyour child’s list and get anaccurate estimate of the costof each institute. Most impor-tantly, talk with your child. Itis imperative your childlearns the budgetingprocess as they will soon bemanaging their financesaway from home.

FinancialPlanningHelps ManageStudent Debt


FINANCES continued on 34

COLLEGE continued from 32

COLLEGE continued on 34


4

4

4Help your children find their callingWhen a child comes into the world, parents have so many hopes and dreams. Perhaps

you envisioned your son being a professional football player, or maybe you hoped your daugh-ter would become a prima ballerina? Your teen may or may not possess the abilities to carryout your dreams, and even if they do, they may not share your interest and passion. Help yourchild identify their talents and abilities, daydream about jobs that interest them, and then findcareers where these things intersect.

CommunicateIdeally, you’ve already been having conversations with your child about things like drugs,

drinking and sex. This is not the time to stop. Prepare teens for the pressures to be faced inan environment where they will answer to no one but themselves. Talk about situations thatmight arise and how to handle them.

Discuss physical health issues (exercising, eating right and getting enough rest), mentalhealth (having good study habits), emotional health (creating a good support network) andspiritual health (connecting to a church or college ministry).

It is okay to express your communication preferences before your graduate leaves for col-lege, but understand your expectations may be unrealistic. Yes, we would all love to hear fromour college student every day (or maybe several times a day, especially at first), but that’s notlikely to happen.

Don’t take it personally if your child doesn’t call you as often as you like. He or she is prob-ably busy and only available during hours of the day you won’t be awake. You might also havea child who really doesn’t like to talk on the phone. Find the best way of communicating withyour child, and try not to place additional pressure to do so more often.

SupportOnce your son or daughter is settled in at college, try to be available when needed. Accept

that the first few months might be rocky, and your child may need some extra encourage-ment.

“My dad told me that it was perfectly normal to feel out of place and unsure of myself atfirst. He said it could take months before I really started enjoying myself, but that it was nec-essary to keep putting myself out there so others could get to know me and I could get toknow them,” says BreAnna Jenkins, graduate of Lawrence University.

No one said letting go of our children would be easy. Unlike the mother in “Home Alone,”we have the advantage of preparing our kids for functioning alone in the real world, and whenwe worry, they will always be just a cell phone call away.

Lisa Grant is a Wisconsin-based freelance writer who has successfully guided two of herthree children through the transition to college.

Set the budget and stick to it.Once you have a set budget, addwiggle room for other unforesee-able expenses. Make sure you setthis budget realistically. Calculatingthe cost of pens and pencils mayseem ludicrous, but if you’re on atight budget, every expensecounts.

Get connected. Tracking yourfinancial spending is easier thanever. From smart phone apps tofree financial planning software,you can get an accurate financialreport at any time. With researchbanks to determine which onesoffer services to help, you can stayon top of your budget. Also, consid-er linking your banking accountwith your child’s, to easily transferfunds online.

Make a plan. When taking ondebt, it is important to have a planfor paying it off. Calculate themonthly payments and time it willtake your child to pay off the debt.Research salary ranges for thefield in which your child plans topursue a career to understand thedebt they can realistically carry.Find more information and calcula-tors to help determine paymentschedules and interest rates atwww.direct.ed.gov.

Do your research. Before takingout a student loan, look to otheroptions, such as financial aid andscholarships. While some scholar-ships are awarded on academicmerit, others are given based uponboth academic performance andcommunity service. Scholarshipscan be used to attend accrediteduniversities, colleges and vocation-al schools, as long as they are pur-suing their first post-secondarydegree or diploma.


“Many young adults enteringcollege have the academic skillsthey will need to succeed but aresomewhat lacking in life self-reliance, sharing and conflictresolution.” - Linda WalkerAdministrator, Seton Hall University, New Jersey

FINANCES continued from 33

COLLEGE continued from 34



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Spring FishingC

linics for Children

Free fishing instruction for children15 years and younger startingevery hour - 9:00 a.m

. - 3:00p.m

. Call (414) 263-8614 or visit

http://dnr.wi.gov/fish/

Summ

er Program

sM

ilwaukee B

allet School

For children: ages 3-6C

reative Movem

ent & P

re-Ballet:

ages 5-8 Dance C

amps and ages

7+ Student and Pre-P

rofessionalD

ivision and Ballet D

ay Cam

p.m

ilwaukeeballetschool.org (414) 643-7677.

Ever Wonder?

Betty B

rinn Children’s M

useumSponsored by B

rady Corporation

Foundation - 2 p.m. • Age 3 and

older. (414) 390-KID

S (5437)

“Inside the Earth!”N

ature SproutsR

etzer Nature C

enterAges: 4-6 - C

ome join the fun! A

Topic will be explored each session

through stories, crafts and activities.10 - 11 a.m

./1 - 2 p.m. ($)

Register by April 13(262) 896-8007

Betty B

rinnM

useum929 E

. Wisconsin A

ve.Enjoy FREE Adm

ission from

5 - 8 p.m. on the third Thursday

of every month, courtesy of U

SB

ank and FOX

6(414) 390-K

IDS (5437)

African D

anceB

etty Brinn C

hildren’s Museum

Ages 2 and older. Bring on the

beat and move your feet!

(414) 390-KID

S (5437)

One W

ild Saturday M

orning!H

avenswoods S

tate ForestD

rop in between 9 a.m

. andnoon to play gam

es, create craftsand discover cool stuff about

nature! (414) 527-0232.

Earth Day

On Earth D

ay, remem

ber toappreciate nature and learn w

aysto protect our environm

ent andkeep the planet clean!

Stories Alive

for 3-5sC

hildren's Library W


10:30 – 11:00a.m. children should

be 3 years of age by first session toparticipate. N

o registration required.(262) 524-3692

ww

w.w

aukesha.lib.wi.us.

Arbor D

ayC

elebrate Arbor D

ay in apersonal w

ay by plantinga tree yourself.

Earth Day

NatureFest

Havenw

oods State Forest

Celebrate Earth D

ay by planting atree, m

aking crafts fromrecyclables, taking a hike and

discovering how you can take care

of our home. 10 am

to 2 pm.

(414) 527-0232.

Think Summ

erC

amps!

Sign up today!A

ppy Orse A

cres -appyorseacres.com

(262) 692-9144C

amp A

nokijig - 1-800-741-6931H

oofbeat Ridge -

ww

w.hoofbeat.org.

Stories Alive

for 3-5sW


10:30-11:00am, For details,

call (262) 524-3692 orw

ww

.waukesha.lib.w

i.us.

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fast. affordable. convenient.

Brookfield

Inside Brookfield Square95 N. Moorland Road | 262-786-9037

Greendale Inside Southridge Mall near Old Navy5300 S. 76th Street | 414-423-5538

Kenosha Inside Piggly Wiggly2801 14th Place | 262-553-9325

Mukwonago Inside Walmart Supercenter250 E. Wolf Run | 262-363-4751

Pewaukee Inside Walmart411 Pewaukee Road | 262-695-4439

For a complete list of services, hours and locations, visit Aurora.org/QuickCare.

busy momsneed health care on the go

It is often hard to fit in a doctor’s appointment around soccer

schedules and dance lessons. Fortunately for busy moms, you don’t

need an appointment at Aurora QuickCare. We’re open when you

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minor rashes, Aurora QuickCare is for families on the go.

b120258 (2/12) ©AHC

$10 off of your visitExpires December 31, 2013

mp12

One coupon per person per visit. Does not include screenings and vaccines. Not valid with other promotions or insurance that may be accepted by Aurora QuickCare.

Get ready for summer camp and sports seasons by having your camp and sports physicals completed at an Aurora QuickCare.

Mon. – Fri. | 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sat. & Sun. | 10 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Patients must be 9 years or older to receive camp/sports physicals. Cannot be

combined with any other offer or promotions.

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ubneedon t

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er person per visit. Does not include scvalid with other promotions or insurany Aurora QuickCare.

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