Memories of Manic depressiveBy Sankhya ghosh

Preface

I wonder where to begin with? How it got manifested in my life? Frankly speaking I do not know when it will come and when it will pass as a storm on me? I feel as a result of my mood swing, will it go down or up as a stock markets graphics! I feel hollow from inside residing when I am low I feel life less like all the doors have been shut down and there is darkness surrounding me most extreme cases I felt to take my own life which I tried and failed . But, when I am up I feel well no need to go to a specialist or to be on meds I can solve all the problems of the world and it’s insane to imagine I would wake up 3 in the morning updating my social media status. This is a book that is dedicated to all my bipolar or manic depressive friends and their care givers. I know it’s a harrowing moments for caregivers to handle them when we are manic and depressive. Cause we lose our insight. It is our elderly parents like in my case my father who has to face my brunt. I do not know how he could do that.

To My Father (Baba) who took all the pain and sacrifice to raise me from when I got my disorder diagnosed and supported me during my rapid despondent mood swings.

Chapter 1

Birth certificate

I was born in the year 1984 in a place called Baruch, Gujarat in India. 30 day later then priminster of my

country at that time Mrs. Indira Gandhi was assassinated and there were anti- Sikh riots in and round

Delhi and most part of north India. Three months later my father moved from Baruch to Surat to an

Industry called Kribhco at Hazira It was an industrial township.

I quietly remember that people like my maternal grandmother and my mother had said I had throwing

tantrums when I was few months old I was hard to breast feed. That’s when my grandmother predicted

I would be a rough kid to handle.

Early memories of mine when I was 6 years old I had habit of not wearing moisturize lotion and would

go out to play during the winters and that would lead me to be argument with my mother and end up

getting beating from her. In my kindergarten years I would go to school called Sunflower. My father

would drop me off at around 8 am and my mother would pick me up around 10 or 10:30am.

Once I got selected for handwriting competition during that time and was taken to a different school in

Surat. Me along with a female friend I told her that “The bus in which we are travelling would throw us

in the river Tapti.” And we both started crying, I was that bad and stupid.

Having said that I wish to state that those where the early symptoms of my life that took me to next

level of mania. I should have been diagnosed earlier.