MEDIATION SKILLS: ASSEMBLING POSITIVE

INTERACTIONS

Fall 2015 RA TrainingKevin Long

Ryan DePesa

WHAT IS MEDIATION? What does mediation mean to you? How comfortable or uncomfortable do you feel mediating conflict?

How comfortable or uncomfortable do you feel with conflict?

Do you prefer to avoid conflict at all costs, or do you feel comfortable addressing a conflict after it arises?

IN WHAT WAYS DO PEOPLE COPE WITH CONFLICT? Avoidance• Accommodation

• Competition• Compromise• Collaboration

CONFLICT

SHARING YOUR EXPERIENCESFor returning RAs, what conflicts have you seen between residents that needed your attention?For new RAs, what conflicts have you seen or been a part of in the past?Was there a solution? If so, what was it?Was this situation handled appropriately or should it have been handled differently?

MEDIATION DEFINITION A formal dispute resolution process that encourages face-to-face dialogue and problem-solving. A facilitator helps the parties communicate effectively and reach a decision, even if that decision requires the relationship to be terminated. A decision is made and follow-up ensures that progress is made and that the issue is dealt with appropriately.

WHAT DOES A MEDIATOR DO?

Sets-up the mediation (who, where, what and how?). Provides the “ground rules” for discussion and maintains decorum and a safe environment for dialogue.

Is an objective observer, questioner, synthesizer, role model, and a person who will provide appropriate follow-up.

WHY DO MEDIATION? Students are not communicating effectively, especially when they are in conflict.

Role-modeling dispute resolution is a life skill.

RA as teacher and educator.

WHAT IS YOUR CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE?

Collaborating Competing Avoiding Harmonizing Compromising/Accommodating

WHY DOES THIS MATTER? How you handle conflict personally may reflect how you mediate conflict with others

Be mindful of how you handle yourself before stepping into a situation with others

How can your style be utilized?Is your style to avoid, avoid,

avoid, or to relentlessly push for what you want?

CONFLICT BRINGS CHEER

ChangeHear

Empathy

EvaluationRole

RA AS AN EDUCATOR Students may report feeling lonely and disconnected. Students have difficulty advocating for themselves, solving their own problems and speaking up for what they believe in. Mediation teaches students to function more successfully at Wentworth and in the world. Mediation reinforces idea that conflict is not always bad, but can be a learning and growing experience.

WHEN SHOULD MEDIATION BE AN OPTION? Conflict exists and at least one party is unwilling to talk about it Both parties express conflict to you but are unwilling or unable to successfully talk it out with the each other If you – as an RA – feel frustrated by a situation in your community and how it has been handled When a large group of people and perspectives are involved (floor, hall, etc.) If you are concerned that doing nothing will only make the problem worse over time

BENEFITS OF MEDIATION RA as helper and not fixer (you do not have a magic wand!) It saves time and teaches skills Private and confidential (info only goes up, not over) Less adversarial Helps to preserve relationships Little risk … agreements are co-created and voluntary. Enhances community and promotes dialogue Alternative to handling issues through more punitive measures

MEDIATION PROCESS Ground rules

ConfidentialDialogueOne person at a time“I” statementsSolution-focused conversation

Statement of the issues (recap) Definition of the issues (why is this causing such conflict) Developing alternatives that are realistic, attainable and

agreeable Conclusion/Compromise/Agreement Follow-up / Formalize Agreement

MEDIATOR’S TOOL KIT Understanding Mediation at Wentworth

DOs & DON’Ts of Mediation

Things to Consider

Mediation Agreement Form

Roommate & Suite/Apartment Agreements

ROLE PLAYS AND SCENARIOS!

Break into small groups (4)2 disputants

1 mediator (RA)1 observer

We will rotate so you can practice the role of the mediator at least once!

JUST REMEMBER.

And you are, too!