mastering the leadership, organizational & emotional...

Mastering the Leadership, Organizational & Emotional Challenges of a Career in Teaching and/or Research: Day 4, Stories, Fear, E!ectuation & Adult Development

Dave Goldberg & Viola Schia!onati

ThreeJoy Associates, Inc. & Politecnico di Milano [email protected] & [email protected]

© 2013 David E. Goldberg

Check In

Center

Toolkit, Part 2: Reframing Stories

•  The Universe is made of stories, not of atoms. Muriel Rukeyser

5 Ways to Invite Communication

•  Real data is not the problem: Just the facts ma’am. •  5 tactics with assessments:

–  Explicitly separate assertions & assessments. –  Label. –  Support (grounded assessment). –  Lighten. –  Hold assessments lightly (or get permission to give).

•  4 examples –  “He is tall.” “I believe he is tall” or “My assessment is that he is tall.”

label –  “He is tall.” “He is relatively tall for men in this town.” support –  “He is tall.” “He is tall, and I hold this assessment lightly.” label &

lighten –  “He is tall.” “May I o!er you my assessment of his height?” request

permission

Stories that Serve, Stories that Don’t

•  All stories a combination of assertions and assessments.

•  Subject to error correction, assertions don’t change.

•  Assessment subject to reframing, reevaluation, deletion, addition.

•  What stories do we tell ourselves that serve us? •  What stories do we tell ourselves that don’t?

Learned Helplessness

•  Martin Seligman’s experiments with dogs in the 60s.

•  Gave shocks to dogs. –  One group could push lever

and escape. –  Other group lever had no

e!ect •  2nd group learned to be helpless. •  In 2nd phase of experiments dogs

could escape shocks by moving, but chose inaction.

•  1/3 of dogs escaped shocks.

Humans Di!erent from Dogs: Humans Speak

•  Humans also show learned helplessness, but we can ask them why they don’t help themselves.

•  Helpless humans tend to have pessimistic explanatory style.

•  They speak of negative events as –  Personal (“it’s my fault”) –  Pervasive (“I can’t do anything

correctly”) –  Persistent (“it will never

change”) •  Those not helpless have more

optimistic explanatory style. •  Key to not being helpless is

attributional reformulation, a fancy phrase for changing your assessments.

One key to changing is reframing your assessments from negative to positive in

ways consistent with the facts.

Negative-Positive Assessment Reframing (NPAR)

•  Facts are facts. You can’t change assertions (except to correct the facts).

•  Assessments are subject to revision.

•  Assessments are data poor. Most assessments based on small sample size.

•  You can change your assessments to serve you better.

Steps

1.  Separate assertions and assessments. 2.  Identify negative assessments that are

personal, pervasive, and persistent. 3.  Rewrite assessments to positive ones that

are plausibly consistent with the data.


But how does emotion fit in to this picture?


What is fear?


In what ways does fear serve us?


In what ways does fear not serve us?

Amygdala Hijack

•  Fear is processed by old part of the brain.

•  Protects us from harm.

•  Keeps us alive. •  Not usually quite as

important as when on the savanna.


Awareness name, claim & reframe.


What emotion are you feeling right now?

Dan Baker’s Two Fears

•  Dan Baker says we have two kinds of non-serving fears: – Fear of not having

enough. – Fear of not being

enough.


Many academics su!er from imposter syndrome.


What does the “imposter” fear?

The Thinking Path

Thought

Feeling

Ac=on

Result

Alexander Caillet

Brene Brown & PhD Imposters

Brene Brown

Imposter’s Story •  I am an expert. •  Experts know everything

about their fields & a lot of other stu!, too.

•  I don’t know enough. •  I am an imposter. •  I am unworthy of being

called an expert. •  I fear being discovered

for the phony I am.


Pairwise: From given story chain, map out other feelings, actions & results that imposters

might exhibit because of their stories.


In small groups (2-4) at tables: Using thinking path mapping of before state, remap the thinking path to an after state that helps

eliminate imposter syndrome for the PhD.

3 Practices for Recovering Imposters

•  Say “I don’t know” at least 3 times a day. •  Ask others, “What do you think?” at least 3

times a day. •  Imagery exercise as needed.

3 Practices for Recovering Imposters

•  Say “I don’t know” at least 3 times a day. •  Ask others, “What do you think?” at least 3

times a day. •  Imagery exercise as needed.

© David E. Goldberg 2013

Journaling for Change In your journal fill in the following items. Note: This assignment is confidential and only

you will have access to it. You will not be asked to share it, and you will take it home with you. You may write as personal a story as you wish.

•  Write a short story of a current challenge you are facing (work or personal):

•  List key distinctions, assertions, & assessments in your story.

•  Reframe assessments that aren’t serving you to ones that are in ways consistent with the assertions.

•  Ask yourself 2 powerful questions (standard or custom “what Qs”) regarding your story.

Powerful Questions 1.  What do you want? 2.  What are your choices? 3.  What assumptions are you making? 4.  What are you responsible for? 5.  In what other ways can you think about this? 6.  What is the other person thinking, feeling,

and wanting? 7.  What are you missing or avoiding? 8.  What can you learn? ... from this person or

situation? ... from this mistake or failure? ... from this success?

9.  What action steps make the most sense? 10.  What questions should I ask (myself or

others)? 11.  What can turn this into a win-win? 12.  What's possible?


Adult Development


Debrief

Piaget & Stages of Child Development

•  Piaget studied stages of childhood cognitive development.

•  Thought this was end of the story.

•  Homework reading.

Growth versus Development

•  Horizontal = growth, often skill building.

•  Vertical = development, see the world di!erently.

•  How do we make meaning at di!erent stages of development.

Conventional Stages

•  Diplomat (11%) – Make meaning through peers. •  Expert (37%) – Make meaning through

specialized knowledge. •  Achiever (30%) – Make meaning through

getting results.

Diplomat

•  Belonging and loyalty key values. •  Power from a"liation. •  Smooth and friendly relationships. •  Us & them, family as key language markers. •  Saving face important.

Expert

•  Want to stand out and be unique, a key distinction with diplomats.

•  Specialization and knowledge key values. •  Perfectionist answer man/woman. •  Hard to prioritize. •  Linguistic favorite: “Yes, but…” •  Biting sarcasm feature of humor.

Achiever

•  Makes meaning through successful plans and outcomes.

•  Answers can be found through e!ective method.

•  Open to learning to complete tasks. •  Can trace through causal chain.


Pair & share: What stage do you think your PhD advisor is in? What stage are your

departmental colleagues in? What stage are you in? In an institution that values expertise, what are the opportunities and obstacles to

transitioning to a later stage.

Debrief

What is planning?

To create a plan, what assumptions are we making about the task at hand?

E!ectual Thinking

•  1977 study of 27 entrepreneurs uncovered di!erent action logic.

•  Planning or causal thinking not dominant cognitive style of entrepreneurs.

Saras Sarasvathy

Causal vs. E!ectual Reasoning

Reframing of Action

•  Causal (planning) logic. To the extent we can predict the future, we can control it.

•  E!ectual (entrepreneurial) logic. To the extent that we can control the future, we don’t need to predict it.

4 Principles of E!ectuation

•  Bird in Hand Principle – Start with your means. Don’t wait for the perfect opportunity. Start taking action, based on what you have readily available: who you are, what you know, and who you know.

•  A!ordable Loss Principle – Set a!ordable loss Evaluate opportunities based on whether the downside is acceptable, rather than on the attractiveness of the predicted upside.

•  Lemonade Principle – Leverage contingencies. Embrace surprises that arise from uncertain situations, remaining flexible rather than tethered to existing goals.

•  Crazy-Quilt Principle – Form partnerships with people and organizations willing to make a real commitment to jointly creating the future—product, firm, market—with you. Don’t worry so much about competitive analyses and strategic planning.

Source: hBp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effectua=on

Pairwise Reflection

Think about the course of your career. To what extent were your decisions carefully planned & to what extent were they e!ectual?

E!ectuation is being present to what happens in the world, not what you want to have happen.

Planning Creeping perfectionism E!ectuation Incremental vulnerability

A Personal Story

31 December 2009

Toltec Wisdom

“Happiness is a combination of peacefulness & productivity.”

We are “domesticated” & we judge ourselves by these stories.

Started to rewrite personal stories

Started to feel peaceful & still productive.

Ancient traditions got a lot of it right.

Jill Bolte Taylor: Astronaut of the mind.

She has given us scientific permission to access this peace any way we can.

Her voyage was brought on by a stroke.

Yours is now a choice.

Takeaways


FOR A NEW BEGINNING In out-of-the-way places of the heart, Where your thoughts never think to wander, This beginning has been quietly forming, Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire, Feeling the emptiness growing inside you, Noticing how you willed yourself on, Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety And the gray promises that sameness whispered, Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent, Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled, And out you stepped onto new ground, Your eyes young again with energy and dream, A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear You can trust the promise of this opening; Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure; Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk; Soon you will be home in a new rhythm, For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

O'Donohue, John (2008-‐03-‐04). To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings (p. 14). Harmony. Kindle Edi=on

Mastering the Leadership, Organizational & Emotional Challenges of a Career in Teaching and/or Research: Day 4, Stories, Fear, E!ectuation & Adult Development

Dave Goldberg & Viola Schia!onati

ThreeJoy Associates, Inc. & Politecnico di Milano [email protected] & [email protected]


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