!male victimisation? some reflections on 20+ years work in field of family violence richard...

!Male !Male Victimisation?Victimisation?

Some reflections on 20+ Some reflections on 20+ years work in field of family years work in field of family

violenceviolence

Richard WoltermanRichard Wolterman

!Male Victimisation?!Male Victimisation? PROFESSIONAL AND PERSONALPROFESSIONAL AND PERSONAL

Since 1988: private practice, Family Court Since 1988: private practice, Family Court counsellor, victim support, Probation Officer, counsellor, victim support, Probation Officer,

counselling contractor to Corrective counselling contractor to Corrective

Services, approved FDV program developer, Services, approved FDV program developer,

groups facilitator and supervisor, spiritual abuse groups facilitator and supervisor, spiritual abuse support, men’s FDV crisis services, early support, men’s FDV crisis services, early

intervention FDV, Child Protection, separated intervention FDV, Child Protection, separated fathers’ counselling service, childhood abuse fathers’ counselling service, childhood abuse

victimisation.victimisation.

!Male Victimisation?!Male Victimisation? DEFINITIONSDEFINITIONS

DVPU definition 1999 and 2000: DVPU definition 1999 and 2000: DV is considered to be behaviourDV is considered to be behaviour

which results in physical, sexual and/or psychological damage,which results in physical, sexual and/or psychological damage,

forced isolation, economic deprivation, or behaviour which causesforced isolation, economic deprivation, or behaviour which causes

the victim to live in fear.the victim to live in fear.

FAMILY COURT definition 2008: FAMILY COURT definition 2008: FV means conduct, whether actual or FV means conduct, whether actual or

threatened, by a person towards a person or property of a member of the threatened, by a person towards a person or property of a member of the

person’s family that causes that or any other member of the person’s person’s family that causes that or any other member of the person’s family family

reasonably to fear for, or reasonably to be apprehensive about, his or her reasonably to fear for, or reasonably to be apprehensive about, his or her

personal wellbeing or safety.personal wellbeing or safety.

!Male Victimisation?!Male Victimisation?

Appear to apply equally to both genders, but do not Appear to apply equally to both genders, but do not consider consider

differential male and female:differential male and female:

help seeking behaviourshelp seeking behaviours services appealservices appeal services access availabilitiesservices access availabilities victimisation experiencesvictimisation experiences perpetration (reporting) behavioursperpetration (reporting) behaviours societal stigmatisationsocietal stigmatisation

!Male Victimisation?!Male Victimisation? PERPETRATOR PROGRAMSPERPETRATOR PROGRAMS

- Involvement with offenders most challenging and - Involvement with offenders most challenging and satisfyingsatisfying

- Facilitators: undervalued, very special - Facilitators: undervalued, very special humanhuman resources resources

- Right mix of specialist knowledge, empathy, insight - Right mix of specialist knowledge, empathy, insight stimulation,stimulation,

individual and group engagementindividual and group engagement

- Facilitators forced to comply for sake of agency - Facilitators forced to comply for sake of agency dependence on funding body requirementsdependence on funding body requirements

- No real change by enforcement, compliance, control- No real change by enforcement, compliance, control

- No therapeutic basis of client dignity- No therapeutic basis of client dignity

- Program content: program only a vehicle- Program content: program only a vehicle

- No such thing as “Best Practice model”- No such thing as “Best Practice model”

- Program validity and success rate questionable, many drop - Program validity and success rate questionable, many drop outsouts

!Male Victimisation?!Male Victimisation? THEORETICAL BACKGROUNDTHEORETICAL BACKGROUND

- Duluth model: interagency patriarchal violence modelDuluth model: interagency patriarchal violence model- Presumption of power imbalance and male oppressionPresumption of power imbalance and male oppression- Claiming exclusive sociopolitical rights to this truthClaiming exclusive sociopolitical rights to this truth- Found an ally in Justice, Family Law, counselling etcFound an ally in Justice, Family Law, counselling etc- Endeavours to enforce ideology unto treatment Endeavours to enforce ideology unto treatment

programsprograms- Complains that programs don’t workComplains that programs don’t work- Applies the very abuse tactics it abhors and accuses Applies the very abuse tactics it abhors and accuses

others ofothers of- Has forgotten where it came from: humbleness, Has forgotten where it came from: humbleness,

empathy etcempathy etc- Denies, silences, pays lip service, minimises, patronises - Denies, silences, pays lip service, minimises, patronises

male victimisation concernsmale victimisation concerns


- Promotes adversarial “us and them” Promotes adversarial “us and them” positioningpositioning- Labels males and femalesLabels males and females- Because you are a man, you are controlling- Because you are a man, you are controlling- Hence, the man can not be a victim- Hence, the man can not be a victim- Because you are a man, the female is the - Because you are a man, the female is the victimvictim- Hence, the female can not be a perpetratorHence, the female can not be a perpetrator- Males use violence to enforce authorityMales use violence to enforce authority- Females use violence in self-defenceFemales use violence in self-defence- Cannot consider other victimisation Cannot consider other victimisation contextscontexts- Increasing number of female FDV offenders Increasing number of female FDV offenders for whom for whom no treatment no treatment


Duluth model points out or describes Duluth model points out or describes certaincertain

violent and abusive behaviours quite well.violent and abusive behaviours quite well.

But not in a balanced way.But not in a balanced way.

What needs to occur to recreate balance in What needs to occur to recreate balance in FDVFDV

research and treatment applications?research and treatment applications?

CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK MODELCONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK MODELCONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK MODELCONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK MODEL

CORE QUALITY=

what we consistently do very well according

to self and others

CORE QUALITY=

what we consistently do very well according

to self and others

ALLERGY=

what we dislike or can not stand in self or in

others

ALLERGY=

what we dislike or can not stand in self or in

others

CHALLENGE=

what we need to do to balance our

‘Core Quality’

CHALLENGE=

what we need to do to balance our

‘Core Quality’

PITFALL=

how we hurt others and self;

feedback area

PITFALL=

how we hurt others and self;

feedback area

Crossing boundaries or overdoing ‘Core Quality’

may lead to


may lead to

opposites

Creating extra boundaries or too much ‘Challenge’ or

feedback may lead to



opposites right balance + boundaries

PERSONALISING CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK PERSONALISING CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK ISSUESISSUES

CORE CORE QUALITY ORQUALITY OR

STRENGTHSTRENGTH

PITFALL PITFALL

OROR

DOWNFALLDOWNFALL

CHALLENGE CHALLENGE

OROR

FEEDBACKFEEDBACK

ALLERGYALLERGY

OROR

DISLIKEDISLIKE

LOYALTYLOYALTY COLLUSIONCOLLUSION OBJECTIVITYOBJECTIVITY BETRAYALBETRAYAL

DETERMINATIODETERMINATIONN

BULLYINGBULLYING RESPECTRESPECT UNCOMMITTEDUNCOMMITTED

CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK MODELCONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK MODELCONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK MODELCONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK MODEL

CORE QUALITY=

pointing out,describing,revealing

CORE QUALITY=

pointing out,describing,revealing

ALLERGY=

covering up, minimising,

denying

ALLERGY=

covering up, minimising,

denying

CHALLENGE=

humble pie,release restraint

CHALLENGE=

humble pie,release restraint

PITFALL=

stipulating,prescribing, controlling

PITFALL=

stipulating,prescribing, controlling


may lead to


may lead to

opposites





opposites right balance + boundaries

!Male victimisation?!Male victimisation?

CORE CORE QUALITY ORQUALITY OR

STRENGTHSTRENGTH

PITFALL PITFALL

OROR

DOWNFALLDOWNFALL

CHALLENGE CHALLENGE

OROR

FEEDBACKFEEDBACK

ALLERGYALLERGY

OROR

DISLIKEDISLIKE

DescribingDescribing PrescribingPrescribing Release Release restraintrestraint

Covering Covering upup


!So, where to from here?!So, where to from here?

!male victimisation? some reflections on 20+ years work in field of family violence richard...

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