Making Friends & Reinforcing Social Skills

October 15th, 2014

White Plains Special Needs PTA MeetingMelissa Bianchini, LCSW;

Executive Director of Sensory Stepping Stones

Melissa Bianchini, LCSW; Executive Director of Sensory Stepping Stones

NYS Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW): Children & Families Specialty / Play Therapy Masters in Social Work (MSW): Fordham University BS in Psychology/Sociology: Fordham University NYS Credentialed Alcohol & Substance Abuse Counselor (CASAC) Post-Graduate studies at Arizona State University in Anatomy-Physiology; Neuroscience Provider Training in:

Auditory Integration Training (AIT) & Tomatis Method Syntonic Phototherapy Vestibular Disorders (VEDA) NeuroFeedback

Certified Provider of SmartMind® Pro NeuroFeedback Masters Level Clinician & Certified Provider of Interactive Metronome® with Specialty Tracks Certified Provider of Sensory LearningSM Program (AIT, Light, Vestibular Therapist Trained) Certified Provider of CAVT ®(Computer Aided Vision Therapy) Certified Provider of HeartMath ® emWave Pro (Coherence Training) Certified Provider for The Listening Program® Training in Assessment & Diagnosis; Certified Provider of IVA +Plus/IVA-AE® Testing Training in Cognitive Rehabilitation; Certified Provider of Captain’s Log® Therapeutic Crisis Intervention System(TCI) / Nonviolent Crisis Intervention® (CPI) Level 1 Training in American Sign Language Training in Brain Gym® Volunteer Red Cross Instructor

M. Bianchini, 2014

The Importance ofTeaching Social Skills

People with strong social interaction skills typically experience…

• More meaningful relationships

• Greater happiness and self-esteem

• Greater social acceptance

• Greater desire to participate in social situations

• Less anxiety, stress, depression

S. Bellini 2007

M. Bianchini, 2014

Why Teach Social / Emotional Skills?

Children are NOT born with social/emotional skills

Children face challenges and stressors daily that will impact their ability to function in the school setting and society (Divorce, family violence, hunger, poverty, illness, family substance abuse, and learning delays/disabilities)

Children who have strong social/emotional skills become resilient

Resiliency is important because it is the human capacity to face, overcome and be strengthened by or even transformed by the adversities of life

M. Bianchini, 2014

The single best childhood predictor of adult adaptation is NOT school grades, and NOT classroom behavior, but rather, the adequacy with which the child gets along with other children.

-Willard Hartup, President of International Society for the Study of Behavioral Development

M. Bianchini, 2014

Factors That Can Challenge Children’s Social Lives:

ADHD

Asperger's / Autism Spectrum

Dysgraphia

Dyslexia

Non-Verbal Learning DO

Language DO

Mental Health Issues

M. Bianchini, 2014

Other factors that can affect a person’s social performance:

Processing Delays / Issues

Sensory Sensitivities

Anxiety

Attention and Impulsivity

Memory

Self-efficacy (view of their own ability)

Movement Differences

Motivation

M. Bianchini, 2014

Stages of Learning Skills

Acquisition – of the new skill or concept Fluency – the ability to use the skill or

concept in a situation Maintenance – continuing to use the skill or

concept over time without a prompt Generalization – applying the skill or

concept to new situations, people, activities, ideas, and settings

M. Bianchini, 2014

Skill Mismatch? We can set children up for failure when

they are put in a situation where a specific skill has not yet been acquired

A meltdown or a shutdown is often the result of the demands of a situation being beyond the skill set of the person

Fill the gap between the demands and the skill set while the person is still learning

We must be the ones to anticipate and prepare them for a situation if they are not prepared for it!

M. Bianchini, 2014

Where Do We Teach & Learn These Skills?

Social Skills

Settings

Home School

Community Activities

Friendships

Social Skill Settings:

Where the skill is most likely to occuror most often occurs

M. Bianchini, 2014

An Individual’s Home Environment Helps

With…

Interaction With All Family Members: Self-help skills, responsibility & chores, meals, holidays & family gatherings

Interaction With Siblings: Sharing, getting along, playing together, empathy, support

M. Bianchini, 2014

The School Environment Helps With

School Readiness: Sit still, listen, attend, raise hand, wait turn, independent work, work collaboratively, maneuver classroom, walk in line, ask for help, take feedback, organize materials

The Sociability of School: Greet and acknowledge others, play, teams, clubs, sports, converse, play, join in, initiate, sustain, provide empathy, filter & ignore what is right and not right, make friends

M. Bianchini, 2014

Friendships Help With

Understanding what a friend is

Know how to be a friend

Understand the value of friendship & reasons why to have friends

Keeping friends

Play dates

Clubs – Appropriate behaviors/expectations

M. Bianchini, 2014

Community Activities Help With

Accessing The Activity: Tolerating locations/transitions, accepting feedback in locations (yes or no), waiting

Safety in the Community: Staying with family members, stranger understanding, street safety, directional understanding

Independence & Knowledge: How to use different skills in each place, understand money, asking for help

M. Bianchini, 2014

PEER GROUP Validity Also Plays A

Key Role!

Find out what social skills are valued by the peer group

Help to teach the person skills to fit in

Some peer values transcend all ages

Consult with peers/school supports for input on goals, priorities and how to teach

M. Bianchini, 2014

Appropriate Social Skills by Ages….

Age 4-7

1. Plays

2. Shares

3. Cares

4. Plays Dress-Up

5. Hugs Me/Touches

Age 8-10

1. Being Nice

2. Trustworthy

3. Likes to Play

4. Likes to help others

5. Sharing

Age 11-15

1. Respectful

2. Trustworthy

3. Funny

4. Cool

5. Nice

1. Trustworthy

2. Similar Interests

3. Listens

4. Dependable/Reliable/Fun

5. Kind/Supportive

Age 16-18 & College

M. Bianchini, 2014

The Pentagon of Social & Emotional Learning

If there are issues with

the development

of the individual in ANY of these areas then the actual

skill does not develop fully!

M. Bianchini, 2014

Important to Discuss Three Things With Our Children…

WHAT - Social actions (performance skills)

WHY - Social thinking (understand what is appropriate and why, social values)

HOW ARE THEY FEELING - Social feeling “Positive” feelings like empathy and motivation

Overcoming “negative” feelings that shut down interactions, like social anxiety and fear

Great activity to do with

ROLE PLAYS, WHAT IF’s!

M. Bianchini, 2014

4 Primary Skills Needed When Making Friends

To succeed in any academic course your child needs to have the knowledge of the specific skills. The same applies for when they are connecting with peers and making friends. The benefits of social success can be HUGE! It helps to build self-esteem and lead to academic success.

1. Initiate Conversation

2. Interpret Social Situations

3. Interact Positively

4. Pay Attention to the Speaker

Within each of these skills comes

the social cues one MUST be able

to detect and decipher!

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Why Are Social Cues

Missed?

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4 Types of Social Skills Cues

Social cues are the signals that people send and receive through body language and expression

Many children struggle with picking up on social skills

When they miss social skills they can misunderstand people and situations

1. Facial Expression

2. Body Language

3. Voice, Pitch and Tone

4. Personal Space / Physical Boundaries

M. Bianchini, 2014

Social Skill Cue #1: Facial ExpressionHOW ARE THEY USED: We use our faces to express feelings (raise eyebrows when questioning, smile when happy, sulk when sad)

WHY WE USE THEM: Facial expressions are the most obvious cues and hard to hide. It is also the most frustrating when someone misreads our feelings

EXAMPLE OF PROBLEMS WHEN MISSED: Teacher in hallway with another student

M. Bianchini, 2014

Social Skill Cue #2: Body LanguageHOW ARE THEY USED: Emotions can be so strong they affect how we hold our body (slump shoulders when tired, shrug when we are unsure, bounce when happy)

WHY WE USE THEM: Involuntary or on purpose, important in communicating. It is also annoying when someone misreads the signs we are giving with our bodies

EXAMPLE OF PROBLEMS WHEN MISSED: One child wanting to play with another in a game that is already going on

M. Bianchini, 2014

HOW ARE THEY USED: Certain moods call for high or low voices, fast or slow speech (important content – quick + urgent, question – raise last word or two)

WHY WE USE THEM: Changes in voice can mean that we are changing the meaning of what is said, taken too literally / miss nuances, jokes can be misinterpreted when kids are being mean

EXAMPLE OF PROBLEMS WHEN MISSED: Teams being picked and one child asks another to be on their team

Social Skill Cue #3: Voice, Pitch & Tone

M. Bianchini, 2014

Social Skill Cue #4: Personal Space / Boundaries

HOW ARE THEY USED: When interested we move closer and step back to keep our distance if unsure of the situation

WHY WE USE THEM: Standing too close or far can be awkward, communicate the wrong thing. Keeping an appropriate distance is especially difficult for those with executive functioning issues

EXAMPLE OF PROBLEMS WHEN MISSED: One child tries to hug a friend

M. Bianchini, 2014

8 Ways to Help Your ChildPick Up on Social Cues

1. Practice making eye contact 

2. Encourage attention

3. Observe your child’s expressions

4. Notice others’ body language

5. Discuss what’s expected in different situations

6. Point out pitch and tone

7. Practice inflections

8. Role-play common scenarios

* Please see handout for more detailed description

M. Bianchini, 2014

Beware of faulty assumptions!Can’t vs. Won’t

When a person has a social difficulty don’t assume it is lack of motivation or refusal

It is often a skill acquisition deficit OR

A problem with generalization OR

Confounding factors in the environment that prevent the person from using a skill they have at that time

M. Bianchini, 2014

8 Areas That Your Child May Struggle With If They Have Processing Issues

1. Visual Processing

2. Auditory Processing

3. Nonverbal Communication

4. Social Competency

5. Developmental Delays

6. Abstract Reasoning

7. Motor Skills

8. Spatial Skills

* Please see handout for more detailed description

M. Bianchini, 2014

Other types of interventions we can attempt to utilize

Social & Coping Skill Therapy Social skills group lessons

• Specific skills

• General competence

Parent training Peer training Naturalistic interventions Visual (cues, scripts, social stories), Video modeling ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) Other – Testing & Therapies to Address Processing Issues

M. Bianchini, 2014

A center dedicated to providing a variety of both traditional & innovative

treatment programs for those having difficulties with: PROCESSING

ISSUES…

Sensory Integration, Gross Motor Planning & Coordination, Attention & Focus, Cognitive Skills, Fine & Visual Motor

Coordination, Visual Perceptual Skills & Reading Development.

Peak Performance Training is also available for those looking to increase athletic, academic, musical and work performance

Sensory Stepping StonesDevelopmental Rehabilitation

& Learning Center

M. Bianchini, 2014

Sensory Stepping Stones Therapeutic Programs

Sensory LearningSM Program

The Listening Program®

Interactive Metronome®

Cognitive Learning & Memory Programs

NeuroFeedback / EduFeedback

Reading Fluency & Development

Timocco Program®

Computer Aided Visual Training Programs

Coherence Training Programs

Peak Performance ProgramsM. Bianchini, 2014

Questions?

M. Bianchini, 2014

Thank You!

Melissa Bianchini, LCSW

Executive Director – Sensory Stepping Stones

mbianchini@sensorysteppingstones.com

(914) 244-4101

www.sensorysteppingstones.com

M. Bianchini, 2014