love marriage & partnership | the review june

FATHER’S DAY J U N E 1 9 , 2 0 1 6

Happy

Love, Marriage & Partnership - The Review is a monthly publication sponsored by M & M R Marketing, LLC that focuses on married couples that are in partnership with each other through service and/or business to their communities and abroad. The goal of the Love, Marriage & Partnership – the Review is to inspire readers to look at the essence of partnership in marriage as shared by exemplary couples, ultimately moving readers to actively define, develop, and devote to their purpose as a couple.

• HOUSE HUNTING & PROPERTY TIPS

• CELEBRATION OF ENGAGEMENTS, WEDDINGS & ANNIVERSARIES

• EATERIES & SCENERIES

• OUTDOOR ADVENTURES AND DELICATE INTERIORS

• ARTS & CULTURE

• WHAT’S IN YOUR KITCHEN

• SO MUCH MORE…

THIS ISSUE

WHAT’S TO COME

Warmer weather is here for many of us which is an indication that we will be shedding some of those extra layers. Literal or not, bask in insight and inspiration like the right amount of sunshine on summer’s best day!

In this issue of Love, Marriage & Partnership – The Review, be inspired to try a few new things, get organized, or take you love experience to a new level of giving.

COUPLES IN PARTNERSHIP: This feature is the heart of the publication, so become acquainted with phenomenal couples from all over that are building businesses and serving their communities through a loving partnership.

30 NEW THINGS: Use seven simple steps to kill procrastination and stress by picking up a new hobby or fine-tuning a new one. Transform habits with curiosity and creativity within 30 to 90 days.

DATE NIGHT IDEAS: Do more than flirt with the idea of Date Nights, make a commitment. These sweet notions will spark dedication for that much desired QT whether you’re single, just having fun, or in a committed relationship.

FAIL-PROOF YOUR EVENT: Don’t allow avoidable mishaps to become the center for attraction as you prepare for you next event. Get golden nuggets on how to best plan a memorable occasion and dare to dream. GET IT TOGETHER: If you are adjusting to the children being at home for the summer, moving, getting a college student situated, or embracing being an empty-nester, these five organizational tips will be sure to help.

NATIONAL BEST FRIEND DAY: In the midst of you plastering selfies of you and your BFF across social media avenue, take a moment to consider the value that was placed on this amazing relationship. Whether you talk daily or if it has been a while, get insight on friendships, relationships, and the love that mends them together.

JUNE

2016

BURNSIDEMR & MRSMeet CARL & RACHEL

“His Point, Her View” is a Christian couple’s literary collaboration. Read through personal, spiritual, and even controversial posts that will motivate, challenge, and unite couples and singles alike. Throughout this journey this Husband and Wife will discuss everything from gender roles and intimacy to faith and marriage adaptation. Finding your purpose- mate is just the beginning, we intend to chronicle that and much, MUCH more!

SUBSCRIBE TODAY at: www.hispointherview.us

I am a 32 year old ordained Minister at East Fernwood MB Church in McComb, Ms. My Pastor Jimmy Wilson prophesied to me twice that I would write a book and sale it on Amazon. I wrote this book in 9 days and was completed with the full process in a month.

NOW AVAILABLE

Dismiss every misconception that you have about Date Nights, be open-minded, and expect to have fun! Who says that Date Nights have to be anything other than what you want them to be? No one- it’s up to you how creative you want your predetermined moment of eminence to be! It is also important to note that Date Night is for anyone: dating, married, engaged, and yes, SINGLE.

• Agree to set this time aside together.• Determine frequency and be consis tent (once a month or every week).• Decide who gets to choose the date (deciding together is best).• Anticipate it.• Be THERE while you’re on the date.• Have FUN.

• Avoid making independent plans and expect the other to be as excited as you are.• Steer clear of allowing your Date Night to take the back seat of things that appear to be more pressing.

RECREATE THE FIRST DATE YOU EVER HAD TOGETHER - If you went to a movie, rent the same movie. If you went out for dinner, go back to the same restaurant or make the dish that you ate at home.

RENT YOU OR YOUR DATE’S “DREAM CAR.” – Take your date and your dream car you’ve rented on a weekend adventure, even if it’s just driving and exploring.

HAVE A FIVE COURSE DINNER AT DIFFERENT PLACES - Instead of going to one restaurant, pick a bunch of different restaurants to enjoy various courses of your dinner date.

PLAY TOURIST – Decide to play tourist for the day in your hometown—going everywhere from the museum, to the major landmark, to the most famous restaurant in town.

DO

N’T

SD

O’S

IDEAS of the MONTH

DATE NIGHT IDEASBy: Mr & MRS ROACH

We met at the law firm we both worked for. Mike was a courier and law library clerk and I was a paralegal. We instantly connected as friends. Of course, both secretly wanting more. Mike was the missionary kid and I was the girl from a broken home. I was a divorced single parent of two adorable children and constantly making the wrong choices when it came to relationships. I had a friend at the law office and I told her I would marry Mike one day and he said the same thing to his friend, little did we know it at the time that was God’s plan. Mike came to my rescue when my apartment was broken into. He would take me home and make sure the kids and I were safe and I often thanked him with dinner. Taking that time to sit down and really get to know each other ignited something in each of us that would last a lifetime. We married in just six short months of starting to date. I continued in my paralegal career for 23 years and Mike became a sheriff’s deputy. A little over three years ago I was introduced into network marketing simply because I desired to lose weight. Network marketing has opened up numerous doors for me individually and us as a couple. I always knew I was destined for more than what I was doing and partnering with some amazing people in the past three years has brought more blessings not just financially but in the relationships we have built that will last a lifetime… and we’re not even close to realizing our full potential and what God has planned for us.

WHO ARE YOU AS A COUPLE? Mr Jarvis: We are two people that were created by God to be together. There is no question in my mind that this is true. We strive to love and support each other through everything that life throws at us. We always try to be a great role model to our children, so that they can see what a true loving marriage is all about. My hope is that when someone thinks about one of us, they immediately think about the other one also, because they see us as a team.

Mrs Jarvis: As a couple… We are parents to six amazing children. We have three biological children, two adopted children and one foster child that we are permanent guardians for. We have been foster parents for 17 years and have parented dozens of medically and emotionally fragile children. Our family is our life and our passion. We both believe we were placed on this earth to give back and God called us to become foster parents early in our marriage. We chose to foster children who are hard to place in traditional foster homes due to medical or emotional issues. Our job is to show our children unconditional love, guidance and support to become independent adults and to guide them through to what God has planned for their lives.

MIKE & WENDY

M R A N D M R S . . .

JARVISThe REVIEW

WHAT THINGS DO YOU ADMIRE ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE?Mr Jarvis: Well I could not answer this question without saying her beauty. I am not just talking about her exterior beauty, but even more importantly, the beautiful person she is on the inside. She truly has such a servant’s heart, always wanting to help others to reach their highest potential. She is always willing to give of herself and her time to help others in need. I am inspired daily by her self motivation and drive that has made her such a success in our home business. She sees and believes in the potential of others. I can honestly say that I would not be where I am today if it were not for her belief in me. She is always pushing me to believe in myself even if at times I may not believe that I have it in me.

Mrs Jarvis: I admire Mike’s integrity. I’m sure it’s because he was raised by two amazing parents who serve God as missionaries in Bogota, Colombia and in the USA. Mike is a man of honor, loyalty and commitment. The way he loves me and our children, the way he leads our family, the way he provides for us, the way he captures my heart still today. His unwavering commitment to “us against the world” and nobody can break what God has joined has always been what rocks my world! I’ve often heard that the number one quality a woman looks for in a man is security and I now know how important that is. Security doesn’t just mean being safe from someone wanting to hurt you but also security in your relationship, security in being able to be the woman you were called to be, being secure in knowing that you always have someone in your corner. Mike gives me this security.

HOW DO YOU PREPARE YOURSELF TO FUNCTION AS YOUR BEST SELF IN YOUR ROLE AS A SPOUSE?Mr Jarvis: The best way I can answer this is that I must always be completely committed 100% to make our marriage work. This means that I must put myself last, and always put her first. Her needs are always more important than mine. She must know that I will always be here to support her in every thing that she does, and know that I will always have her back. She must feel safe. No matter what is going on in the world around us, she must know that our home is safe and she can always depend on that comfort. I must be prepared to make sacrifices, because when she sees the sacrifices I am willing to make, she in turn makes sacrifices as well. It is a two-way street.

Mrs Javis: We have always talked things out. We often will sit and talk for hours about our hopes, our dreams, our desires and what we expect from each other. We believe strongly in keeping the lines of communication open and hearing each other out on all issues. We both have individual strengths that bring balance to the relationship and we feed off of each other’s strengths.

It is important to realize that God has made each of us different, and that we are not always going to be good at everything. If we put those things that God has made us good at to good use as an individual, it will in turn make us better as a team.

Mrs Jarvis: Mike is more practical and focused. He’s the peacekeeper with strong beliefs. I am more of a wild rebel at heart with passion and ambition. We balance each other out perfectly. Sometimes I get wild and crazy ideas of new ventures and Mike is the one that puts the practicality with those ideas to form the perfect plan. Mike definitely keeps me grounded and I give him excitement. I told him when he married me that I only promised two thing and that is... I would love him until the day I died and it would always be a wild ride.

HOW DO YOU UTILIZE YOUR DIFFERENCES INDIVIDUALLY AS ASSETS TO YOU AS A COUPLE?Mr Jarvis: While we do have a great deal of similarities, we do also have different assets that make us better together as a team. I think the most important thing is to recognize that we do have different God given assets, and to use those assets to make us work together better. I think sometimes couples might get upset at each other because they focus on what their weaknesses are, instead of their strengths.

WHAT DOES PARTNERSHIP IN MARRIAGE MEAN TO YOU?

Mr Jarvis: In a partnership, there must be equal give and take. One must be willing to make sacrifices and concessions in order for a partnership to work. If you constantly tell your partner that it can only be done your way, the partnership will not last. You must be committed to make the partnership work, and it may mean you may have to make sacrifices or decisions that are hard for you to make, but it creates a better trust and foundation for your relationship to last.

Mrs Jarvis: Partnership in marriage means that you put the other person ahead of yourself and all else. It means loyalty and honor to the relationship and to God. If both people do this, it’s so easy to have balance.

AS PARTNERS IN MARRIAGE, WHAT IS YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL? WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE TO OBTAIN IT?

Mr Jarvis: As partners in this marriage, I believe that our ultimate goal is to continue to have a strong, loving marriage that will last a lifetime. To have the type of relationship that others strive to achieve, because we have set a good example of what a loving relationship should be. I keep using the word sacrifice, but it is such a key word in a strong marriage. You must be willing to make every sacrifice possible to make your marriage work. The more sacrifices you make, and the more rewards you reap from your sacrifices, the easier it gets to make that choice.

...continued on page 11

10 | LOVE MARRIAGE & PARTNERSHIP | THE REVIEW


Mrs Jarvis: As partners in marriage what is your ultimate goal? Why? What are you willing to sacrifice to obtain it? Our ultimate goal has already been designed by God and that is to continue to live in the harmony, love, passion and commitment to our marriage and our family. There is nothing I would not sacrifice for this! Beyond that, to expand our businesses and continue to bless others with the gifts God has given us.

WHO IS THE MR AND MRS JARVIS THAT PEOPLE DON’T GET TO SEE?Mr Jarvis: We just simply love spending every moment together. Time just flies when we are together. When we are apart, we are constantly missing each other and waiting for the moment we are back together again. We still tell each other that “I love you” multiple times a day, like we did when we first got married. Some might call that “cheesy” but I still feel like we just got married! We just love hanging out together, sometimes no words even have to be said. There is just such a comfort just being next to each other.

Mrs Jarvis: We are crazy!!! We have so much fun and what people see us as a couple is how we really are. We are both so transparent.

WHAT IS A SCRIPTURE THAT YOU BOTH USE AS YOU FUNCTION IN A PARTNERSHIP?Mr Jarvis: This is an easy one…1 Corinthians 13: 4-13. This scripture was read at our wedding, and is my favorite scripture still to this day. This passage talks about being patient and kind, and not being easily angered. It also talks about not being self-seeking, and delighting in the truth. Love is most definitely the most important key in marriage, and this passage really touches on what real love should be. I believe that if a marriage follows the simple words in this short passage, it will lead to a long, successful, happy, loving marriage.

Mr Jarvis: Without a doubt…1 Corinthians 13: 4-13. We actually eloped and got married in this cute little chapel at the top of the mountains in Tennessee. The pastor read this scripture at our wedding and to this day, we live by it. In fact, our master bathroom is decorated in this scripture. Love is…and we to this day still honor this scripture.

12 | LOVE MARRAIGE & PARTNERSHIP | THE REVIEW

TIP #1 WEDDING STYLEDecide what type of wedding do you want to have. Will it be Formal, Cinderella, rustic. Determining this early will help with setting the budget and other decisions later. Decide what is most important to you.

TIP #2 DETERMINE YOUR BUDGETWhat can you spend? Making this decision at the beginning will help you determine, venue, guest list and the type of wedding that best suit you.

TIP #3 HIRE A WEDDING PLANNERHiring a planner at the beginning of the process can save you money and time as the planning goes forward. This investment will pay for itself. A planner can negotiate the best rates with the best vendors saving time and money.

TIP #4 GUEST LISTThe guest list is the single thing that will impact the wedding budget. I suggest creating several lists, the bride’s list, the grooms list, the bride’s parents list and the grooms parents list. Then going through the list and coming up with one master guest list. Once the guest list and budget is in place let the planning begin.

TIP #5 SETTING THE DATEEveryone wants a spring wedding. Take a realistic look at your schedule, where you would like to get married and the type of wedding you would like to have when setting the date. Think about your guest and if they have to travel. Is there a particular venue you have dreamed about getting married? Then select the best date and a backup date in case your first date is not available.

Happy Planning!

5TIPS FOR WEDDING PLANNINGBy: Melissa Banks

At DMD Event Planning & Design, we have been designing and planning wedding and events for over 18 years. My name is Melissa Banks founder. I have received training in Alabama, Tennessee, Texas, Georgia, Mississippi and the Caribbean.

At DMD we are here to consult when you have questions, locate the best vendors and implement your decisions. We specialize in Weddings, Social Events and Corporate Events.

In the first meeting we listen to our client and help them identify a clear vision and then create a master plan to help them bring their vision to reality. We have a Team of experienced, professional and dependable event planners who are knowledgeable about wedding and event planning and our team of expert designers will make sure we exceed your expectations. We have partnerships with vendors who are the best in their field. We are committed to utilizing our professional experience and resources, delivering a product that will always exceed expectations.

Our team currently Plan, Design and Decorate for Weddings, Vow Renewals, Anniversaries, Birthday Parties, Banquets, and Conferences all over the State of Mississippi, Tennessee, Georgia and beyond. Our services include; Wedding and Event Planning, Month of Coordination, Floral Design and Décor, Draping, lighting and so much more.

At DMD we are committed to undivided attention to every detail, working together as a team to create an event that will leave a lasting expression.

Dare to Dream! Leave the details to us and you enjoy the experience.

WWW.DMDEVENTPLANNINGANDDESIGN.COMFACEBOOK @dmdeventplanning2014

INSTAGRAM @dmdeventplanninganddesign


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Reach new goals, break old habits, and start new ones! Tap into your creativity and birth something amazing! Kill procrastination with a decision and self-discipline!

Can you recall the last time you had a lightbulb moment? Do you remember the feeling that you had? The only thing better than that lightbulb moment is the feeling that you get when you see it come to life and enjoy the end results. I recently had that moment, but I realized that I was wrong- there is no end result, because one idea gives light to so many others. A few months ago, I embarked upon a new hair style. What I thought would be a new and simple look turned out to be so much more! The versatility of the style opened my curiosity and creativity. I ended up styling my hair in over thirty, yes 30, different styles in less than an eight week period. I took pictures, and became increasingly excited each time I found a new style and created it for myself.

When my eight week adventure came to an end, a part of me asked, "Why did I change my hair so often? What did I gain from all of this? What else could I have done with my time?"

30NewThings

Initially, I was just having fun and allowing the styles to be a creative outlet for me. There were many situations going on personally that could have presented themselves as stressful, but I realized when I was engaged with creating new styles, my focus shifted and I became more rested.

I AM NO HAIRSTYLIST; however, when I searched for styles, I looked for things that really caught my attention, that fit me, were different, and I had to learn how to do it. All the styles turned out great, I motivated others to try a few, and one of my affirmations had some new light to shine on it:

I HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE!

I realized that if I achieved something like this with styling my hair, I could do the same thing in other areas. My next adventure is FITNESS! Join me in your own quest of #30NewThings .


HERE ARE THE GUIDELINES:

7 STEPS TOKILL PROCRASTINATION AND STRESS

Determine what area you are setting your goal in: fitness, learning a craft (i.e. cooking, make-up, sports, gardening), studying, finances, doing something special for your significant other, etc.

Decide if you’re going to focus your efforts for 30, 60, or 90 days and set aside a time that’s best for you to implement what you’ve learned and try out your 30 New Things. Spend 5 -30 minutes on actually doing that thing.

Search for new ideas from pictures, videos, books, or other people. Save them, so when you’re ready for the next “thing” you already have a pool to choose from.

Once you decide on your next “thing” implement it immediately. Follow up with your next new thing within 1-3 days. This guards against boredom, and stretches your creativity.

Determine what things you will HAVE to do daily. Also identify what things you’ll have to give up or go without doing.

Take pictures to chart your progress, and share your results at the end of your 30, 60, or 90 day adventure. #30NewThings

Decide on an investment amount between $25 - $200 to cover supplies.

The idea behind #30NewThings is implementation, and not perfection. You want to spark your curiosity and creativity by actively engaging in something new and fun. Do not become so focused on accurate execution, and leave room for spontaneity and uniqueness. Make a decision to get moving towards something new; in this case, 30 new things!

Happy Adventures!

1 5

2 63 7

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Creatively


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Minister, Business Strategist, Motivational Speaker

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June is a celebratory month for many things; however, we found such great significance in highlighting National Best Friends Day. If you are fortunate in your lifetime, you will only have a handful at most – hence the name best friend. We are well aware that often in marriages, husbands and wives identify their spouse as their best friend. There are others, whether married or not, who have those friends that they’ve journeyed through friendship together for a lifetime. Then there are those individuals who have missed out on this type of relationship, perhaps never establishing a meaningful, long-lasting friendship or experiencing a period of isolation for whatever reason. Despite the status of your BFF(s), as they can fondly be referred to, we all have a different definition for the title. Sure there are similar characteristics: supportive, trust-worthy, understanding, nonjudgmental, loving, the list can go on. You could never really put together a comprehensive list of all the reasons why your Best Friend is so deserving of the title, but there is a common thread that holds every relationship together with no respect of persons – love.

At LMP-the Review, it seems obvious that we would focus on friendships within the marriage; however, it’s much more important that we first place emphasis on the type of friendships that take place well before the I Do’s. Men and women long for companionship. Note, this has nothing to do with someone who likes to be surrounded by people or the person who loves to be alone. Companionship is a deep and mutually loving relationship that is selfless, understanding, forgiving, strengthening, and kind. Plainly put, it’s being considerate of the other person in every way. The love between companions is second in command to a love that loves without reason, and is unconditional. This Godly love that’s in you is what allows you to have that awesome friendship. Imagine how significant a relationship or marriage would be if this type of friendship was established first, and cultivated as the relationship grew. There have been many times that we’ve heard people express their frustrations with a significant other. Not to say that challenges won’t come, because they will, but it’s how you handle your challenges and your “Best Friend” in the process. Married or not, there are very distinct dos and don’ts. Being careless, hurtful or selfish without remorse is a huge red flag. The genuine companionship between best friends is what fortifies the relationship against this type of behavior. In the event that selfishness causes tensions to flare, there is enough value on the relationship where both persons willfully seek to resolve the issue, no matter how difficult.

Most would say that friendship and love are strange matters. One might ask, “How can something be so strong and so delicate at the same time?” We feel that it is not so much of love and friendship that’s strange, but more so the people who choose to abide by them. We are emotional and instinctive beings with the amazing ability to reason. So often, we find ourselves being driven by our emotions, neglecting the very thing that enabled us to develop the friendship in the first place – the decision to be considerate. Communication may not always be the best, feelings may get hurt, expectations may not be met, or the ability to love at the same level or the same way may become grey, but the love of the friendship should never be unraveled.

For whatever reason, warm weather nudges most people with the question, “Don’t you think you ought to tackle that?” Maybe it’s the once empty room that is now full of things that you didn’t bother putting in storage, or the over-stuffed closet with clothes that didn’t quite come back to existence in any of the past few fashion eras. Imaginably, it’s the unbelievable amount of stuff that accumulates now that your children at home for the summer. Even if they attend summer camps, programs, or internships, there seems to be an uncomfortable amount of seemingly misplaced items. As you look at things, you vaguely identify their place of belonging, whimper or grimace at the notion to clean and organize, and attempt to draw your flag of surrender. Before you do, consider these options for cleaning and creating a more functional space.

GETTogetherit


COLLEGE BOUND: Time seems to be so unfair in the way that it hurriedly past, preparing your baby for this next chapter in their lives, and leaving you with mixed emotions of excitement, pride, and the uncontrollable urge to cry. Freshman lodging can range from the dorm, suite life, off-campus apartment, or their very own humble abode that they’ve come to know most, if not all of their lives. Start early in getting all NECESSARY supplies. This will alleviate stress, and help this major transition go as smoothly as possible. Check out the space, inquire about roommates, and get tips from dorm/housing advisors or other students to be better prepared. Try to remember back to when your bundle of joy was on the way: you had your list of all the things you thought you wanted/needed and then there was the “been there, done that” list. Be excited, and understanding with your new college student, but know that everything isn’t a necessity.

MOVING: Designate a room for GIVEAWAYS first. This room should be cleared out, and categorized as best as possible. This will make it easier for you to make donations to local charities, friends and family, or anyone else in need. As you go through other rooms in the house, pull out TRASH items (things that you nor anyone else can use), bagging them as you go. When you come across items that you know you have not used in a while, but are in good condition, move them to your giveaway room. Items that you will KEEP should be boxed, labeled, and left in the room until they are ready to be loaded. Be mindful that you are moving into a new space, so only keep things that are necessary or that you picture yourself having in your new home.

EMPTY NESTER: Do not hesitate in repurposing the empty room(s). Becoming an empty-nester leaves many with the question of “What do I do now?” It’s great to have an extra guestroom, or to leave the room as is for memory’s sake, but you may want a space that will nurture one of your interests or hobbies. Repurpose it as a hobby room or simply redecorate it to fit your style as opposed to the décor that your young one left it in.

SCHOOL’S OUT: You may feel as though your responsibilities have increased, but the children being at home for the summer is a great opportunity for your delegation skills to be put to work. There are tons of ideas and life hacks that can make things easier for you, but to stream-line your search, focus only on a few areas.

1) Determine what NEEDS to be done, and not what would be nice.

2) Identify what your children are naturally good at doing, and can complete with little to no supervision.

3) CLEARLY display what the expectations are, and when they should be completed.

4) Balance out the chores and activities to leave room for autonomy, problem solving, and working together.

5) Incorporate a reward system.

EMBRACE IT: No matter what you have to do, embrace it and have fun! Get help from someone that’s knowledgeable or a professional if need be, and Get it Together!


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love marriage & partnership | the review june

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