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Its Ace! This is the book to make sense of where you are right this minute. A great tool tostart you on your way to partnership! Chris C. Kent, UK, Forensic Scientist

From Lonelyto Loved Up

How To Attract Your Ideal

Partner In 5 Simple Steps

Your Guide to Becoming More Confident, Free From Fear and

Irresistible To the Opposite Sex!

By Farah Siddiqui


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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

No part of this report may be altered in any way.

DISCLAIMER AND/OR LEGAL NOTICES

The information presented herein represents the views of the author as of thedate of publication. Because of the rate with which conditions change, theauthor reserves the right to alter and update their opinions based on the newconditions.

Given the fact relationships, personality traits and past history differ fromperson to person, we cannot guarantee your success in finding your idealpartner. Nor are we responsible for any of your actions. This report is forinformation and educational purposes only and the author does not accept anyresponsibilities for any liabilities resulting from the use of this information.

While every attempt has been made to verify the information provided here,the author and her resellers and affiliates cannot assume any responsibility forerrors, inaccuracies or omissions. Any slights of people or organizations areunintentional.

Copyright 2012 by Farah Siddiqui

All rights reserved.

web: www.goodnessgorgeousme.com

www.goodnessgorgeousme.com Copyright 2012 Farah Siddiqui. All Rights Reserved
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________________________________________________________

From Lonely To Loved Up

How To Attract Your Ideal

Partner in 5 Simple StepsYour Guide to Becoming More Confident, Free From Fear and

Irresistible To the Opposite Sex!

By Farah Siddiqui

________________________________________________________________________________


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Introduction

Relationships can cause the greatest joy and the greatest pain in life. Its no

coincidence this is one of the most sought after areas for advice; dating sites,networking groups, relationship books, workshops, its big business andproducts consistently fly off the shelves as people search for solutions to theirrelationship dilemmas. No matter how much information or knowledge youhave, relationships are one of those things which keep evolving, we have tokeep digging deep, striving towards balance, harmony and happiness for love.

Worldwide and since the beginning of time, men and women have had to workat living together. Love is the ultimate goal and we are all naturally programed

to want it and give it. Little wonder it consumes us, knowingly or unknowingly.If youre single, you may want to be close to someone but dont know where tostart, or you may be afraid of being close due to a past hurt. Or you may be ina relationship but its lost its sparkle or is causing you pain. This book will help.

Thank you for choosing to read From Lonely To Loved Up - How AttractYour Ideal Partner in 5 Simple Steps. I was compelled to write this aftermy own experiences and being around many successful men and women whoseemed to have nailed most things in their life, except that special person to

share it all with. Its a real crisis, as we are pulled towards income and careergoals and attracting your ideal partner seems so elusive. Why do we do whatwe do and what are some simple practical solutions to attracting our idealpartner? Here I have put together the 5 steps, which led me to marrying myhusband and have helped many once confused, frustrated and unhappyindividuals gain clarity. I hope this ebook will help you too.

An easy to remember, unique system B.T.R.U.E. this ebook is punchy, insightfuland practical, guiding you to be true, confident and free from fear. Included aretwo bonus chapters on avoiding stress in relationships and overcoming culturaldifferences. Love really is the secret to success in life and I reveal all here.

Farah Siddiqui is an experienced relationship coach and teacher with a range ofskills including NLP, hypnosis and personality profiling and is happily married.

Enjoy From Lonely To Loved Up - How Attract Your Ideal Partner in 5Simple Stepsand feel free to get in touch; leave a comment or review andcontact me for further products and personal coaching.

www.goodnessgorgeousme.com

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Contents:

Introducing theB. T. R. U. E. System1. Get off to a flying start & drop the Baggage.Remove negative emotions ......................................................................1

2. Feel the fear, Trustand go for it anyway! Have the courage and faith totake action ...........................................................................................4

3. Get in Rapport- learn ways to make people like you and keep yourattention ...............................................................................................7

4. Know yourself first, your valUes, what makes U tick ..........................10

5. Live in your core Essence. Understanding masculine and feminineEnergy...............................................................................................13

Bonus Chapters:

Bonus 1: Loving living stress-free in your relationship ..............................17

Bonus 2: Blissful cross-cultural relationships............................................20


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1. Get off to a flying start & drop the

Baggage, Remove negative emotions

They always say time changes things, but you actually have tochange them yourself

Andy Warhol

The past does not equal the future. What had happened in thepast is in the past. Letting it have an impact on your presentand future is, at best, a futile exercise. Going into a newrelationship with baggage from the past can only result in

problems.

Stuff happens. It happens to us all. Feeling the victim,indulging in self pity and wallowing in sorrow may besatisfying and serve a purpose for a short while and willusually grant you some attention, but hanging on to it wellpast its sell by date, means it is rotten and unhealthy andwill make you sick.

The event happened. Fact. Our emotions kick in as a response, whether it is joy,sadness, anger, bitterness, hatred, fear or at the other end of the scale, delight! Ouremotions serve a purpose, tears are the bodys way of releasing some of the pressurebuilt up, as is any violent outburst or highly charged physical demonstration; you areliterally getting it out of your system.

We rarely experience a single emotion in response to an event. Generally, weexperience a range of emotions over a period of time, usually lessening in intensity.

Take a break up, for example. Being dumped is one big ego bruising. Feelings ofshock, despair, anger, hatred, sadness could be experienced and subsequent reactionscould be becoming withdrawn, bitter, vengeful, hardened, suspicious, mistrusting.

Time may pass, but unless the negative emotion attached to that memory subsides,that event is being kept alive in your head, affecting the way you think and feel aboutnew situations which have nothing to do with the event from the past.

Time has moved on, the event is over, but as long as the emotion is alive, the bodywill react and you will send off signals, warding off potential suitors and attractingthose disposed to victimizing others. Interestingly, they will continue to come into

your life until the lesson is learned.

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I keep attracting the wrong sort,' well then do something different! Releasing thenegative emotion, letting it go, leaving the past where it is, will bring new invigoratedenergy into your life. No-one wants to be saddled with someone with issues andbaggage and be tarred with the same brush as a past relationship. They didnt ask for

It and have done nothing wrong and dont deserve to be judged according to someoneelses actions. You deserve better too. What happened, happened. It doesnt mean ithas to define the rest of your life.

Over time, as you think less and less about the painful event, the feelings naturallysubside. With very intense emotional events, ones which create a significant impact,holding on to the emotion usually serves a purpose, or has secondary gain. Thismeans, however awful, holding on to the memory and the feelings it created backthen, now, is, at a subconscious level, generating some sort of reward for you now. Itcould be attention, sympathy, support, love. Why would you let this feeling go, if it

rewards you with love? This is called secondary gain, it may not be healthy, but at itshighest level, there is something positive there, which is why you hang on.

In removing the negative emotion then, there also needs to be a healthierreplacement for the secondary gain. Many people self sabotage or are unable to stickto resolutions if the secondary gain is not replaced to the same intensity.Subconsciously, there needs to be a pay off!

Negative emotions can be eliminated in several ways, a skilled hypnotist or NLPpractitioner will use specific language in an intervention to guide the client, who is in a

relaxed, perfectly safe, wakened state, to release the negative emotion. It is a simpleprocess, yet extraordinarily effective, having a massive, often life changing affectknowing the negative emotion related to that event has now gone for ever! The clientis always in control and the beauty is, once the negative emotion has been released,the baggage is gone! The release creates a wonderful sense of optimism, hope andrestores that all important balance. A far more encouraging state from which toattract better relationships!

A new relationship is the start of something new and doesnt need to be tainted withone or both partys unresolved issues. Frustration comes from a feeling of a lack ofcompletion or lack of control, so take control, close the book on the old relationshipand get closure by eliminating the harboring negative emotion. It doesnt matter howlong ago the event was, if it is affecting your life now and has been for however long,ask yourself how this has served you, what the benefit of the emotion had been andwhat lessons can be learned from it. Thank your subconscious mind for taking care ofyou over all this time, and that you no longer need the emotion attached to thememory.

Moving forward, the memory of the past event will still be there, stored away with allyour other countless memories, but the emotion will no longer be attached to it,allowing you to love again, free of the past. You will attract what you put out, so your

wish list starts from within.

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Exercise and Tips:

Try this simple 3 step exercise.

1. First of all, accept emotions, both negative and positive, have a purpose andexpress how we feel. There is a valid reason normally, and emotions need to be

expressed not buried. We can all doubt ourselves, worry, feel scared, feel down.Acknowledge the emotion you feel. Know it is there for a purpose and is to someextent justified. Dont fight it, suppress it or deny it.

2. Secondly, the emotion comes from some belief we hold. If we change the belief, wechange the emotion. How many times have friends tried to change your mind aboutsomething or show you a different perspective? Changing the way you think aboutsomething changes the way you feel about it. Change your focus. Look for the silverlining, as hard as it may seem; it is there.

3. Finally, emotion is made up of motion. Move. Change your physical state. Breathe.Stand up. Sit down. Being hunched up, looking down, you are naturally going to feel acertain way. If you feel the anger boiling up, breathe, count to 10 in your head beforereacting. Change your environment. Get out and go for a walk. Put a funny dvd onand have a good old belly laugh. Relax in a hot bath. Go for a run. You cant begrumpy and jog at the same time! Use a meditation technique and visualise an armyof baggage handlers inside you, lightening the carriers load and throwing out caseafter case of stuff you dont need anymore. Do an actual physical clearout. Put yourattention elsewhere, stop talking about you and unconditionally go help someone else.

There are several things you can do (keep it healthy) and there may be certainfeelings which you feel you have been carrying for way too long, which can beeliminated with various techniques. Of course, some conditions may require specialisthelp so seek a suitable practitioner. Why not try these simple tips for starters.

Next Step:

Now you know how to drop the Baggage, in the next chapter we will look at the 2ndAttraction Secret: building inner Trustand faith and taking action. Lets go for it!

Contact Farahfor coachingremoving negative emotions.

[email protected]

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2. Feel the fear, Trustand go for it

anyway! Have the courage and faith to

take action

Man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time forroast duck to drop in

Confucius

Fortune favors the brave. If you dont play, you cant win!

If you do nothing, you get nothing. People worry about allsorts of things when it comes to relationships; being lefton the shelf,' worried no-one will find you interestingenough, or that he or she will leave you anyway, orworried about whether soul mates exist, how long it willlast, whether you made a mistake, worried you haventfound anyone good enough...the list is endless.

Worry is, in fact, a bit of a wasted emotion. The thing youare worried about hasnt actually happened! Its in the

future and fearing the worst about something yet to be, seems so illogical, yet we

human beings do it all the time. When that worry grips you, however, to a level whereyou just cant be bothered, have given up, and feel stuck, thats when you really havesomething to worry about.

When your energy is focused on what can go wrong, usually it does. You then tellyourself, I told you so,' sink deeper into lack of motivation and inspiration, feel worseabout yourself and your situation, worry no-one will like you, you will be on your own,you will lose it all etc and so the cycle continues.

The way to break the cycle is to acknowledge the emotion (worry) and feel it, and dothe thing anyway. When you let it get the better of you and do nothing, you lose.

You may not know where to go to meet good, decent people, you may have dated alot but never found the right sort and are now disillusioned with it all, you may nothave the time due to work commitments, you may have been hurt in the past or seento many relationships fail and are skeptical or too wary and have built a wall aroundyou, you may have never been ready before and now feel you are, but dont knowwhere to start..

All natural things to worry about and feel fear for the unknown. Worrying, not knowing

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what to do, how to start or how to break the cycle of low self worth, not knowingwhere these gorgeous, successful people hang out etc can be extremely exhaustingand can be completely wearying in itself.

This stuck state has been reached because you no longer can see past where you arenow. At one time, you would have had sufficient energy to go out, meet people, chat,

flirt a little, feel good about yourself, enjoy the buzz of the interest others are showingyou. Somewhere down the line, though, now you find yourself stuck. Now your wholeenergy and focus is on being stuck and worrying about it. You cant see beyond now.You dont believe it will happen for you.

Your energy has been sapped by the worry and you dont even have the physicalenergy to change. The motivation and drive seems to have gone. The perfectrelationship will not just fall out of the sky and land in your lap! No matter what isdestined for you, you have to take action, even when it seems so hard, dedication andperseverance are the keys to success in anything.

You want to be good at playing the piano, you have to be coached and practice. Wantto lose weight? Eat less and exercise more! Do it consistently. Crash diets arent calledcrash for nothing! We live in an instant society these days, fast food instantmessaging, on demand TV, most things done at the click of a button.' We want it all,and we want it now! Even speed dating... Be honest, what did you expect to havehappen by going on a speed dating night? At least you were out, doing somethingabout it, I guess, but to sit around waiting for things to happen or for others to do allthe work for you; it just aint gonna happen!

No matter what the emotion is that is keeping you from going for it, stopping, notbothering, giving up is not going to help in any way. You have to reevaluate what isimportant to you. List all the qualities you admire about yourself that others will see inyou, what being in a relationship means to you, how you see that relationship being,the kinds of things you want to share, the life experiences you want. Get juiced aboutit, about who you are and all the wonderful possibilities that lie ahead.

Go to the parties/weddings/social functions you are invited to; join groups you areinterested in; let friends and family help you, take care of your physical appearanceand have fun with it. Do something you have always fancied, such as climbing/diving/singing/tennis. Be consistent with it. Ordinary things done consistently, produce

extraordinary results. It is so true.

Acknowledge the emotions you feel, dont suppress them. Get them out in a safe,healthy way, feel the fear. Take a deep breath, visualize what you want, really get inthe zone, hold yourself in the way you feel successful and certain, then go ahead anddo it! Have your vision of what you want so clear, it not only feels true, it becomestrue, it becomes a part of you and a way of life.

However long your time as a single person is, embrace it, enjoy it, be grateful for it.When you are living in this energy, liberated from any agenda or game plan, you will,

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in fact, naturally feel attractive, confident & positive. People pick up on feel good vibes

just as easily as creepy or draining vibes so feel good about yourself and others willwant to be around you and will want to get to know you better. You may not be singlefor long!

If you do like someone andjust at the point of doing something about it, you imaginethat old fear or worry coming back, where once you would have stayed quiet or notmade an effort, notice how different that is now.

Your life is too important to be neglected or to be second to work, family, others. Bybringing the best of you to the table, you will do a better service to your work, familyand others. Life throws up constant change, in the mix are challenges, pleasures andsurprises. Whatever you are facing, face it. Do what needs to be done and make itfeel good. Get help from whichever source you like, if you need it. Look beyond it.Look inside yourself. You will find truth and wisdom here. You have the strength,courage, determination, faith, creativity and vision to give any meaning to anysituation. To get out of worry, fear, despair or any other stuck state, you need to moveor may need help to lift you. Get moving.

Exercise and Tips:

The amazing Susan Jeffers sadly passed away in 2012. Her legacy will be her classicself-help book Fear the Fear and Do it Anyway, which encouraged millions to facetheir fears. In it, she explains the root of all our fears is basic, we fear we wont beable to handle the situation if the worst happens. She has the simple reply to this:Youll handle it! I was fortunate enough to meet her a few years ago when she gave atalk in London. Her gentle wisdom and can-do attitude was hypnotic, powerful andexciting and her book remains one of my firm favourites. Forget perfect, just have theconfidence to have a go!

I highly recommend you grab yourself a copy of this book and encourage you toexplore her work http://www.susanjeffers.com

Next Step:

Now you know how to have faith and Trustin yourself, heres the 3rd AttractionSecret: how to build influence, become irresistible and get into Rapportwith anyoneyou meet. Take a look!

Contact Farahfor coachingto get out of stuck states and move towards action.

[email protected]

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3. Get in Rapport. Learn ways to make

people like you and keep your attention!

Communication is a skill that you can learn. It's like riding abicycle or typing. If you're willing to work at it, you can rapidlyimprove the quality of every part of your life

Brian Tracy

Of all the variables which go into make up the nature of anyrelationship, trust is an essential component. The developmentof trust may begin when a person gets the sense that he is

being understood and that he and the other person arespeaking the same language.

Anyone we consider to be influential are deemed as suchbecause we believe they understand us, and trust needs to bepresent in order to build a successful relationship. What is itabout particularly influential individuals, that leads to this trust?

What are the secrets they use and how can we use them to gain influence and createpositive change in our own professional and personal relationships?

One of the most important components in being influential is having the ability todemonstrate to the other person that you understand them. You want to join them intheir model of reality. This can be done through language what you say, how yousay it and in how you use your body. As the great Baloo in Disneys Jungle Bookfamously sang when wanting to be like the man child Mowgli (apologies formisquoting): I wanna walk like you, talk like you...you know its true oo oo oo ooh, abear like me ee ee can learn to be human too-oo-oo.. !

How do we do it then? What do we do to get others to feel we are like them, thus

building trust, thus creating a connection; the start to any relationship. In NLP, it iscalled getting into Rapport. We do it all the time, perfectly naturally already.

The most basic definition of rapport would simply be commonality or cordance. Whentwo systems are in cordance with one another, they are in rapport. By systems Imean people, objects, colors, sounds, flavors anything really. Havent you winced atthe sight of two colors which clash, or not enjoyed a piece of music or got the creepsaround certain people? What is going on is that the vibrations of the colors, sounds,objects, people are either in harmony; in rapport with each other or they are not.

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When you are in a rush and dashing about and people around you are just amblingalong, well, there is a difference, neither is right or wrong, but there is a lack ofrapport in your movements and this will impact on how you both feel. Other times youmay meet someone or be around people you just click with. You feel you havesomething in common. It may be a value system, interests, personality traits,whatever. Anytime you find you have something in common with someone else youwill find you have a greater level of rapport.

Rapport is not about liking someone else. It is possible to be in rapport with someoneyou dont like or who doesnt like you. Rapport is not about trusting someone either.Its possible to have rapport with someone you dont trust and they dont trust you!Having rapport will make trust easier to accomplish. So, it is possible to have rapportwithout trust, but you cant have trust without rapport.

A classic study in the 1970s showed 38% of our communication is in our tonality, 55%in our physiology and only 7% of our communication is in our words. So, with 93% of

communication being nonverbal, its not so much what you say, but the tone you useto say it and how you use your body!

Matching and mirroring someones tonality, that is, by using the same level of volume,pitch and projecting the voice from the same place internally, for example, (oh andnot by imitating the accent, by the way) will create rapport at a very covert level.

To create rapport using physiology, match and mirror a persons breathing patterns,the position of their spine, are they leaning in or away, are their arms open orclosed.This comes with a little practice, but in the meantime, its fun to watch people

in a bar or restaurant; if they are in rapport, usually if one scratches his nose, theother will subconsciously copy, if one crosses his legs, so will the other! Notice whatyou notice!

We live in a fast changing world where everything has to be instant, even the way wedate. The popularity of speed dating, online flirting and trying to find love in cyber-space is very much part of the norm these days.

Whilst it is true our typing and texting skills have developed, many a Romeo or Juliethas been disappointed when they eventually pluck up the courage to actually meet up

face to face. That moment will happen eventually, whether it be a blind date,introduction or normal date, learning about their background, values can beimproved if you learn to master rapport.

As for speed-dating, research shows that a person will make a judgment whether ornot they like you in as little as 7 seconds. Maximize these 7 seconds by masteringspecific processes that allow you to gain rapport with the person's unconscious mind.

The result? A feeling like they have known you forever! Haven't you ever metsomeone and surprisingly felt as though you had known them all your life? That

doesn't happen by accident! You can replicate that process with anyone you choose!8


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Exercise and Tips:

Try out these simple tips.

1. When meeting someone new, or in a networking situation, gauge the atmosphereand spirit of the conversation, observe without staring, and match the other person'sposture. Stand, walk, or sit like them, but make the move subtle and natural, when it

is your turn to talk, not when they are talking. Pay attention to how they move orremain still. Then, gradually adapt your positions so you match or mirror theirs; if youget really good at this, soon they will be mirroring or matching you and you havecontrol and you can direct where you want it to go!

2. Listen carefully to how the person speaks, if their voice is soft, loud, fast or slowand adapt your natural tonality and volume to match theirs. How often have you beenin a situation where you come away thinking I dont have a clue what he/she justsaid because they spoke faster than you, or you wanted them to hurry up as it was aslower pace than you. Great rapport is when they think you are like them, so it is yourjob to practice this skill and demonstrate flexibility if you want them on side.

3. Matching and mirroring the words they use or the type of words they use too is areally powerful skill and the third rapport building technique.

Next Step:

So now you have a sense of a few basic Rapportskills, hopefully you can get a handleon it, notice clearly how it can look for you and listen out for opportunities to practice.

Master these skills in any area of your life and youll very soon be an even moreconfident communicator. Next we look at the 4th Attraction Secret: ValUes,U (You)and how well you know yourself. Often overlooked and assumed, its essential to knowyour natural way of being, your personality type and what to look for in others so youcan figure out or get a feel for how well suited they are to you.

Contact Farahfor coachingon rapport skills.

[email protected]

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4. Know yourself first, yourValUes, what

makes Utick

To thine own self be true William Shakespeare

How much time would you say you have spent getting toknow the true you? Do you know what is important to you,really? Are you living as the authentic you, or behind a maskof who you think you should be?

Many of us would say we do know ourselves and know what

we want, what we dont want, what we like, what we dontlike, etc. Its all very well having a list of qualities you wantfrom a prospective partner, but what are you bringing to thetable? If tall, dark and handsome is your ideal, who do youexpect he wants? Do you fit the bill?

By knowing yourself, how you operate, what you deem important and being reallycomfortable with your own qualities, good and bad, and facing them, you are doingyourself the biggest favor you can when it comes to attracting your ideal mate.

Sure, on meeting someone new, we all like to impress, first impressions do, after all,count and we instantly produce a judgment based on that initial meeting.

Glossing over the truth, or worse, apologizing for who you are will never be a goodstart in any situation. No-one likes an arrogant know-it-all, or a misery guts. You cantsecond guess what someone else will think about you, so best not to prejudge theirreaction or opinion of you.

When you actually sit down, indulge in some time purely directed at getting in touchwith and organizing what is important to you, particularly in a relationship, and go

though a values elicitation exercise, you may be surprised at what you learn aboutyourself and what comes up.

This is best done with a friend or partner, or ideally with someone trained in NLP. Thequestion to ask, is simply this: What is important to you about a relationship? towhich you would respond with many or a few values you instinctively think of. Next,you would be asked: ...and what else.... This gives you an opportunity to think of afew more traits important to you. These are your values. Easy as that!

It is interesting, once you have a list of say 10 values, to look at the list, and again,

and consider reordering, prioritizing, giving the first on the list the highest priority.10


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Reorder, comparing each value to the one below it until you get to the last on the list,moving things up or down accordingly. Take your time, it is worth it. Be honest. Youwill get what you dont actually want, otherwise, or worse, wind up settling.

Be careful not to succumb to some clich or society standard. Be careful not to createyour parents or your friends wish list. This is about what is important to you, no-oneelse.

The more honest and true to yourself you are, the better. Think of all areas of life, ifyou are spiritual or religious, could you be with someone who held a different belief?Sure, you might really like them and have a big attraction to them, but do their valuesalign with yours? It so important to be clear on your top values; these are the onesyou are not prepared to compromise on, and are usually lifestyle based, rather thantraits.

Think long term too. Never believe you can change people. You are the only one incontrol of changing you; likewise, they are in control of changing themselves. Whatmight be tolerable now, may be irritating and frustrating and ultimately divisive lateron down the line. We all have traits, which serve us in certain ways, positively ornegatively, however, the things we deem important, our values, are what weunconsciously focus on the most.

If you want to know something, ask! Dont assume. If you need clarity, ask in adifferent way. You are not testing, so make your questions relevant, appealing andnatural, otherwise you will be cast into the weirdo pile. Some people respond well to a

direct question, most would think it a bit abrupt, so use some sensitivity.

By knowing what is important to you in a relationship, you will be seeking thosevalues in others. You will eliminate those who do not exhibit your most importantvalues, and this could take some time to uncover, so it is worth getting to know aperson beyond one meeting, before making that judgment!

When you are attracted to someone, or feel as if you are on the same wavelength, itis because you are, in fact tuned in and your values are in alignment. Now things getinteresting!

For guys, especially, this is so true. Know your purpose, what you are about, what youstand for. When you declare your purpose, it is extremely empowering, and extremelyattractive from a female point of view! Girls love it when a man knows what he wantsand sets about getting it. This really is what women want from their man, one whohas certainty and determination and lives his purpose.

Values are so important and so often overlooked or misunderstood. Everything we do,ultimately, serves a purpose and to some degree makes us happy - even if it may notbe good for us. Be true to yourself first, live according to who you are and presentyourself as such.

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Exercise and Tips:

1. Do the personal values exercise mentioned above. Prioritise your top 6 values.These should feel comfortable and right to you. If not, redo until it does.

2. List 8 areas of your life which are important to you. Draw a circle and split it intoquarters then half each section so you get eighths. Write each area of life in eachsection. Mark off how satisfied you are currently with each area of your life; thenearer you are to the centre, the more unsatisfied, the nearer you are to the outsideedge, the happier you are with that life value. Consider the circle as a wheel, howbalanced is your wheel? What do you need to work on? Pay attention to what you aredoing or need to do in order to boost that area of life. This is a great visualrepresentation of your life values and gives you a focus to work on. You are likely tomeet people with similar values when youre in tune with whats important to you.

Next Step:

You will always attract what you project out. Live the best version of you, exhibit yourfinest qualities, know what you stand for and you will find you will attract the best inothers also. You have to live with yourself, you are the one who can change yourself.Get to know you, be whole and complete in yourself and indulge in personaldevelopment to expand your mind, release baggage and negative thinking and seekwonder and beauty in life.

Resonating at a higher frequency, you will attract others who are like minded, that

you can get along with and enjoy one anothers company and have something to buildon. Know Your valUes.

Finally, lets explore the 5th Attraction Secret: Energy;what it means to live in yourcore Essence.

Contact Farahfor coachingon discovering your values and identifying this in others

[email protected]

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5. Live in your core Essence.

Understanding masculine and feminine

EnergyOne half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of theother

Jane Austen

Women and Men are different. Fact. Pretty obvious, right? Is

there a man alive who understands women? Is there a womanalive who was able to change her man?

The mystery of relationships becomes unraveled when you do avery simple thing, be aware of the differences, accept them,and live with them! By recognizing and exploring thedifferences, you can discover ways to have, build and improverelationships.

Women, by their very nature are complex, unique and will

never be straightforward and consistent. Instead of trying tochange any of this, for a happy relationship love her anyway. With all thedistractions and transience in life, a good woman is the best comfort a man can everhave.

We all essentially have the same qualities and traits, albeit in varying amounts, whichmakes up part of our uniqueness. The balance of the energy though is what we deemto be masculine or feminine. We all have masculine and feminine energy; a man canbe caring, nurturing, trusting as well as purposeful, focused and driven.

Likewise, a woman can be fearless, strong, dominant as well as accommodating,pleasing and flowing. Given all the complexities associated with work, career andhome life in todays society; male or female, we tap into the energy required tosurvive.

A woman who has worked hard, studied, and competed for her corporate career, canstand on her own two feet, pay her way and have the lifestyle she chooses. This initself is not a problem unless it is a problem. When a great deal of time and energyis spent in one area of life, for example, work and career, inevitably, other areas of lifemay well suffer, such as health and relationships.

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All too often, at some point, the successful, driven, competitive woman will becomewary of those in harmonious relationships, those getting married and those becomingmothers and might feel she is missing out on something. It can be exhausting doingwhat feels like everything, by herself, and me-time often becomes nonexistent.

A man, doing what he has to do, does what needs to be done to survive. Battling itout at work, solving, fixing, hitting targets, getting the job done, then sweating it outin the gym; working hard and playing hard. Uncertain times can be tough for all of us,but for a man without a purpose, it is very unnerving. A man displaying lack ofdirection, one who is noncommittal, indecisive, cowardly, self pitying, is no catch andwill experience exactly that, in no uncertain terms, by any woman!

What is being attempted to be pointed out here, is that if you live in your true energy,the one most suited to your gender, you will find it more natural to your core being.Trying to be a man is what makes so many women so tired and extremes of behavior

is actually very unattractive to a guy! Being wimpy, dependent, unsure of yourself asa guy will keep you on your own or will suffocate any woman, who will tap into herown masculine energy instead and step up to be the dominant one in the relationship.

Ask yourself if you live in your true essence. As a woman, are you spending more ofyour time in masculine energy or feminine energy? Do you feel you have to adoptmale energy to get ahead or to fit into the environment you work in, and do you takethis with you in the dating arena? A guy who works hard at work doesnt need thesame when he comes home! You can still be successful at work and enjoy what youdo and look and feel feminine. Men need balance in their lives and love the softnessand beauty of a woman, and this is at her core. Dont bury it. It is the most attractiveasset she has, so turn it on!

Guys, women love a man who knows what he is about. Being sensitive, caring andattentive are hugely attractive to women, but remember to live your purpose, bedecisive and give a woman certainty.

Most men hate to be walked over, and those who have given up, want a quiet life,want to keep the peace will find they are living more in their feminine energy andhave given over their masculine control to the woman, who actually, subconsciously ornot, resents having it, and resents you more for abdicating responsibility!

You may have seen such reverse roles played out with people you know, or may haveexperienced similar yourself.

To attract your ideal partner, live most of your time in your natural energy. It mightseem a bit obvious, but take yourself out of you for a moment and evaluate yourbehaviors from an energy point of view. Are you living in your true essence or are youout of balance? If you need to do something to change it, change it! You are in controlof changing your behavior. Harmonious, lasting relationships require polarity.

Ask yourself, what would my ideal partner want? What is the core energy I need to be

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living in? Am I living it? Do I need to slow down/ give anything up/ start something/

turn it up in order to live in my true essence? Who do I admire and see as a good rolemodel and why? Is there anything I could read or learn from to help me change? Howcan I maintain a healthy life balance and tap into my natural essence?

Being masculine doesnt mean being an insensitive oaf or being overly macho. Beingfeminine doesnt mean being weak and soppy. There is both strength and beauty infemininity and in masculinity. Living in your true essence most of the time will bemost natural to you. Enjoy being at ease with it, because then you will be at yourmost naturally attractive and a magnet to the opposite sex. If something isntworking, something needs changing. Change can come easily, coaching can help.

Contact Farahfor coachingon discovering and living in your true essence.

[email protected]

So there you have it.From Lonely To Loved Up - How Attract Your IdealPartner in 5 Simple Steps. Follow the B.T.R.U.E. system, go through theexercises, tips and recommendations and very soon you will see some shiftsoccur. You will become more confident in your daily life, less fearful moreirresistible to the opposite sex! Ultimately, more freedom more happiness and

more abundance is yours to claim. Be True.

B.T.R.U.E. is about Being True to Yourself.

This is the Ultimate Attraction Secret.

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2 BONUSES!

Congratulations, youve almost reached the end of this guide. As a little thank

you, I have put together two bonus chapters for you.

Bonus 1: Loving living stress-free in your relationship................................17

Bonus 2: Blissful cross-cultural relationships.............................................20

Enjoy!

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Bonus 1: Loving Living Stress-Free in your

Relationship

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I amout of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handleme at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at mybest."

Marilyn Monroe

Men and women see the world totally differently and copedifferently under stress. This is a huge area when it comes tomaking a relationship work and sadly not understanding thecore distinctions results in many, many broken hearts, failedor unhappy marriages and more disillusioned singles than youcan shake a stick at.

It is a huge topic, as I said, but I will condense it for this chapter and share with yousome of the key points to be aware of once in a relationship.

Stress is such a commonly used word in todays society; many people wake upstressed, spend the day stressed and go to bed stressed. Behaving in a way that issnappy, withdrawn, irrational, impulsive, angry, reckless, anxious, self-absorbed,obnoxious are associated to being stressed.'

Our behavior is related to our thoughts, which send chemical signals through ourbody, impacting on our health. Many long term illnesses are attributed to stress asthis way of thinking and behaving has been scientifically proven to create hormonalimbalance, dis-ease and poor health. The body is the ultimate barometer for ourwellness of mind. Pain manifests visually, so it all starts in the mind.

Hormonally men and women are very different and deal with stress in very differentways. If there is a depletion of these hormones or an imbalance, our bodies sufferboth mental and physical illness. However, knowing how to restore balance, nurtureand produce more feel-good hormones for ourselves and for our partner is a must for

loving living stress-free in your relationship.

Biologically, men and women produce different hormones to relieve stress. Recentscientific research has revealed that in a safe, cooperative, supportive and nurturingenvironment, a hormone Oxytocin, is released in women to cope with stress. In men,testosterone is released for the same purpose. Testosterone is released in situationswhich require some sort of urgency, emergency, problem solving situation or noblecause of action.

When a man is putting out a fire,' testosterone is released and his stress levels are

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lowered. When a woman is in a caring, nurturing and supportive environment,oxytocin is released and her stress levels are lowered. To love living stress-free, menneed activities which stimulate testosterone production and women need toexperience oxytocin producing activities.

Understanding this fundamental difference is essential to helping each other makesense of the opposite sex, and so lead to a more harmonious relationship.

Lets look at the hormonal differences one gender at a time.

When a mans testosterone level goes up, i.e. when he is fixing or solving something,actively and physically engaged, doing something he believes is worthwhile, (beatinghis chest like Tarzan, that sort of thing) his testosterone level goes up and his stresslevel is reduced. As he acts, he feels competent and powerful. But soon after, heneeds to kick back and recover; resting gives him a chance to restore and rebuild histestosterone level.

Sorry girls, I hate to say it as it seems like such a cop out, but slumping on the sofa

watching Top Gear after a days work, after the gym or after doing the odd jobaround the house or even after discussing politics/sport and putting the world torights with his mates, is your mans way to rebuild his testosterone levels, reducestress and prepare for another days battle. Grrr! Interrupt him during his man-timeand he will probably turn grouchy on you (unless you are using your feminine charms,of course !a simple creature, man is sooo easily pleased!)

Women also release testosterone in the same way and can feel good, get a sense ofpower and capability and feel sexy, but unlike men, increased testosterone in womendoes not reduce her stress levels! In fact, too much testosterone can causeaggression, impulsivity and raise her stress levels! (Anyone you know?).

A man not engaged in testosterone producing activities or not getting the rest torebuild will be stressed and not functioning at his best. Not very attractive... In facthis health will suffer as stress creates an imbalance hormonally in his body, loweringhis immune system, and creating all sorts of problems if left unchecked. (Again,anyone you know?).

For women, in order to reduce stress, she needs raised oxytocin levels, nottestosterone. Men also produce oxytocin and this too feels good to him, increasing histendencies towards trust, empathy and generosity but it does not reduce his stresslevels. In fact, much the same as increased testosterone in a woman can beunattractive and increase her stress, too much oxytocin in a man can be a big turn off

for women; it can make him sleepy and knock his testosterone level downsignificantly.

Women biologically produce and release oxytocin when in a nurturing, supportiveenvironment, both giving and receiving. That hug, cooing over cute babies, thosechats over coffee, that chick-flick and telling you about our day, (without youattempting to offer unwanted advise) rebuilds and releases oxytocin and reducesstress levels in women. Its not sexist, or stereotypical. Its biological fact & necessary.

So, if you are a successful career-driven woman, it is biologically essential you findtime to engage in oxytocin producing activities to balance out internally and look and

feel vibrant and healthy. Confident, feminine and free-from-fear are sexy, attractivetraits men cant help falling for in a woman.18


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Biologically, a woman is healthier if she is free from stress and can find outlets torebuild her oxytocin levels. Take time on your appearance, enjoy makeup, color,fabrics and feeling and looking feminine. You will be more naturally in your flow.

Often single-parentwomen, playing the role of mum and dad, especially need me-time and time with other female friends as being the protector and provider requirestestosterone, a huge strain on a woman unless she is getting her oxytocin to balance.Likewise for single dads, male bonding time with other male adults is biologicallyessential to rebuild testosterone.

If you are a guy who is not fulfilled at work, perhaps, or who has lost interest inthings, to lower your stress levels and for the sake of your health, find somethingmeaningful to do. Something to get your teeth into; a cause or involvement of somesort, find some outlet to rebuild and release testosterone and reduce stress, therebyincreasing health.

A man with a purpose, a man who can is incredibly sexy to women, and showing this

admiration alone boosts a guys testosterone levels, so sisters, get praising your man!Guys, take a moment to just listen to your girl, only offer advice if she asks you, andgive her loads of hugs, be tactile, give her compliments and in the words of Lily Allen(or Beats International, depending on your generation) just be good to me.'

Count to 10 before reacting to an outburst! It may not have anything to do with youdirectly and provoking a reaction may be a release mechanism and could escalatethings. On the other hand, stress may sometimes not be so outwardly visible initially,but can accumulate over time. Poor skin, tired eyes, weight gain or loss, lack ofconcentration, tiredness, lack of energy or interest, snappy or bitchy comments orexcessive behavioral addictions like smoking, alcohol, eating sugary or fatty fast

foods, nail biting, may indicate a current or ongoing issue, something which hasntbeen faced and dealt with, festering away in the minds recesses.

The signs can be easy to spot, especially if you have a benchmark for your partnersbehavior when they are feeling great. We live in a very fast paced world, attentionspans are decreasing, we seek variety and are constantly on the go. One secret toattraction is to slow right down, reconnect with yourself, rather than focussingexternally. Encourage this with your partner, make it easy for them to slow down andbe in the now. Once you are truly present, in the moment, anxiety and stress cannotexist. Breathing exercises, meditation and activities which safely lower the heart rate,are great stress busters.

Stop the wheel, get off and recognize if you or your partner is feeling stressed, andemploy some of the tips in this chapter to help restore balance. Too often we dontknow what to do and react instead, taking the behavior personally and so wind upaggravating the situation, not easing it. Fact: Cuddling up on the sofa in front of thetelly is good for you! A long, meaningful hug can restore hormonal imbalance and dowonders. Giving and receiving a hug is simultaneous, perfect stress reducers for bothgenders.

Contact Farah for coachingto reduce stress

[email protected]

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Bonus 2: Blissful Cross-Cultural

Relationships

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it,change your attitude.

Maya Angelou

We all know men and women are different, so does having a difference culturallyreally make that much of a difference?

Whilst it is true like attracts like, opposites do attract. Having an affinity with someone

pulls you towards them on many levels and often, ironically, it is the difference whichis the attraction!

Subconsciously we know if we like someone; if they are very different in nature orlooks, if there is an innate attraction there, those differences are overlooked andrather make the prospect all the more curiously appealing!

Curiosity draws us towards things. Finding out more about a person given they are sodifferent to you outwardly becomes easy to do, and through simple questions you getto find out more about what makes that person tick, as you would do meeting anyonenew. They may have grown up in a different country, speak a different mother tongue,have different religious beliefs, culturally have different rules and ways of doingthings. When getting to know someone, if there is a romantic attraction, or a feelingof familiarity and easiness around the person, it becomes rather natural to find outabout those differences. If you like someone, you like them! Simple! A friend can beeasy to make, even dating them, having fun and spending time together can becomeeasy because if you both want to, no matter the obstacles, you will find a way.

Today communication has never been easier. No need to sneak out to a call box orhave someone scrutinize strange phone numbers on a bill. Mobile phones, Facebook,social groups, networking, university, work, traveling, family functions, weddings, theinternet there are numerous ways people can make new friends and start newrelationships and many of the taboos in society and amongst ethnic groups are

changing. Greater awareness in the media of awful stories where incompatibility andintolerance does rear its ugly head, sends out the message legal and human rightsgroups are working extremely hard to protect the vulnerable, and highlight howsensitive this issue can be. As time passes, the whole dynamics of family, marriage,personal relationships has evolved immensely, although bonds between communityand maintaining and strengthening cultural and religious values in times of fear andintolerance appear to have increased significantly.

Ultimately, how long a cross-cultural relationship lasts and whether it is successful isdown to the values each person in the relationship holds. This is true of course, forany relationship. Personality preferences such whether you are more outgoing or more

introverted, whether you pay attention to detail or want the big picture, if you thinkwith your heart or your head, if you like structure and rules or go more with the flow;20


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are human characteristics, possibly shaped by culture and upbringing but notnecessarily so. Finding out and understanding these key preferences creates a picture,or profile of the person and is useful to learn about, in any new relationship.

No matter how much you fancy the other person, no matter how you feel towardsthem, if there are fundamental differences in your values, which are not compromisedupon or changed, then those differences will, eventually, drive a wedge through therelationship. It may not seem like a big enough deal to start with and if it is a culturaltrait you can live with, then thats fine, its a trait like any other. However, if it goesdeeper than that, if it is a defining belief upon which there is no compromise orflexibility, then eventually, unless it isnt that important to you, it will never go awayand may cause an eventual split.

Religion, of course is a perfect example. If you are a certain religion by name only, asin thats the religion you were born into or fits closest to your family background even

though you dont know the first thing about it, let alone practice,then it could be fair to say religion isnt that important to you.Alternatively, you may have been overexposed to it in someway,

had questions for which you never received a satisfactory response,experienced inconsistencies etc, so now you reject it or resent it orcouldnt care much for it. You may go out of your way to seeksomething as far from it as possible for fear it will remind you ofsomething which caused you much discomfort and confusion in thepast. It could be a lack of understanding, fear of judgment, anymanner of internal emotions causing the rejection and attracting inthe opposite school of thought or neutrality.

This may not be true for your partner, though. If your partner holds certain beliefs,practices certain rituals or does or doesnt do certain things according to his or her

religious beliefs, then in order to have a blissful cross-cultural relationship; either theirvalues, beliefs and behaviors can be overlooked, tolerated or embraced. This level oftolerance and acceptance has to be true for both parties. A one-sided acceptance is asgood as not. What might be tolerable now, may not be so, further down the line.

Family/peer pressure may be a source of objection, well-intentioned or otherwise andcan create unbearable tension for the couple. There will always be those waiting tosay it will all end in tears, or I told you so... It really comes down to how tolerantthose in the relationship are, of the whole situation. If the differences run too deepand your top values are not aligned, no matter what it is, then there will almostcertainly be problems, which, unless you have the skills to deal with, can cause a lotof pain and misunderstanding.

Cross-cultural relationships, like any other; require patience, compromise,appreciation and love. By focusing on the differences and not appreciating them, thatis all you will see. By focusing on the wonderful traits, where there is commonalityand nurturing that, a whole different relationship is born. If others you are close to,family for example, are also loving and appreciative then that support helps to buildbonds. If they are not, and those people are important to you, then it takes courageto listen to your soul and really listen and feel what is your truth in the matter.

Cross-cultural relationships can be wonderfully rewarding. Not only are you finding outabout the food, country, celebrations and language of a culture different to your own,

you find yourself dipping more into your own background, finding self pride,commonality with others with the same roots and can take best bits to share with one

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another. You expand your own horizons and world view and start to see things from adifferent perspective. Everyone has a different view, no matter how or where theywere brought up and being able to respect someone elses model of the world, (one ofthe presuppositions of NLP) gives you greater flexibility and greater choice.

There will always be challenges in life. No-one behaves perfectly all the time. We areall on a journey, doing the best we can. There will always be people with a view onyour choice of partner, disliking him or her because they are different and actually, itcould be their personal discomfort they are experiencing, and fear or possibly concernfor you. Well, this could happen in any relationship! Fearing the worst usually attractsthe worst. Being supportive is often harder than it sounds and takes courage, love,genuine concern, faith and giving; really being there. At the end of the day, if twopeople are in love, complement each other and want to be together, they havethought it through and in spite of the obvious differences do want to make a go of it.

In any relationship, they have to work together and both will need support, andappreciation from the other. If your values are aligned and your love is strong, no-one

can get in. If there is a chink, unless attention is paid to it, cracks will appear, butagain, this is true of any relationship. If resentment grows, the differences willbecome an issue and the damage may be irrevocable. If it is more important to you tonot hurt your parents for example, than to go against their wishes, you will do what ismore important to you regardless, and will have to accept the consequences. You maychose to regret the decision, or view it as an experience you are grateful for and canlearn from. Hurt or joy is never one sided in a healthy relationship, people are people.

If it does end in tears, there may be bitterness, as in any relationship, but just as timeheals, you do have to work on healing your own self too and in time will view it as achapter in your experience of life.

Blissful cross-cultural relationships are infectious and anyone seeing a couple happytogether, enjoying each others company cant help but feel happy themselves. Theymay or may not have had extra hurdles to jump over to get there; bottom line, loveon a spiritual level is so deep, there are no words for it, love just is.

Contact Farah for coachingon discovering your values and personality profile andidentifying this in others.

[email protected]

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Thank You and a Free Gift...

I really hope youenjoyed reading this ebook and have picked up someattraction secrets you will put into place right away. It was written aftergenuine research into my own relationship issues and was the catalyst to free

me from fear, move away from a fairytale sense of perfection in arelationship, commit to marriage at 39 and help me see the great qualities inmy partner.

After coaching many single people, the B.T.R.U.E. systemis now available toyou via webinar, audio programs and through live workshops and one-to-onecoaching. Why not contact me for coaching, blasting through all the obstacles!You can also learn more about the NLP techniquesmentioned fortransformative success and finally get rid of stuff thats been holding you backor been buried so deep and move on to live the life you deserve. Simply go towww.goodnessgorgeousme.com for more information on the B.T.R.U.E.system, discoveringNLP, booking coaching or anything else related.

As a thank you for buying this ebook From Lonely To Loved Up - HowAttract Your Ideal Partner in 5 Simple StepsIm offering a FREE 7 partecourse: The Confidence To Change; 7 Keys to the Language of Lovetoall my readers!

All you need to do, is go to www.goodnessgorgeousme.com and fill in theboxes so I know where to send your free ecourse. This will open your eyes andears to how we communicate and the messages we send out ad how change inany area of life can be easier when you know how. This ecourse is free on thewebsite only, so register for yours today and get it instantly! You will also getregular updates, special announcements and a monthly newsletter. You canalso follow my blog.

I love good news so let me know how you get on!To your goodness and your gorgeousness,

!ara"

Acknowledgments:

B Baggage imageT Trust ImageR Rapport ImageU valUes ImageE Essence, Energy ImageStress Free ImageCross Cultural ImageFront Cover Image
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