literature exemplars and comments paper 1 · microsoft word - literature exemplars and...

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INTRODUCTION

The results of the first HKDSE Examination were released on 20 July 2012. To enhance the

understanding of the standards of the HKDSE Examination, authentic samples of candidates’ scripts

have been selected to form this set of exemplars to illustrate the performance standards at different

levels.

There are 3 papers in this subject. This set of exemplars is selected from candidates’ scripts of the

written conventional papers to illustrate the typical performance standards at different levels. Paper

1 Section A comprises critical analyses questions of set text extracts while Paper 1 Section B and

Section C deal with seen and unseen poetry respectively. Paper 2 is comprised of essay type

questions on all the set texts excepting poetry*, while Paper 3 is comprised of two independently

written works, a short and an extended piece with the literary subject matter chosen by the candidates

themselves. Exemplars for Paper 3 will appear in a separate volume due to their length.

It should also be noted that for Literature in English there are two sets of set texts. The exemplars

here are from Set 1, as only very few candidates chose Set 2.

It is advisable to read this set of exemplars together with the question papers and the marking schemes

in order to understand the requirements of the questions and the marking criteria. The question

papers and the marking schemes will be published in the Examination Report and Questions Papers

for 2012 HKDSE which will be available for sale in November this year.

* Please note that, due to the limited number of candidates who provided consent for the use of their

work, there is no exemplar for Level 1 in Paper 2.

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Level 5 exemplar and comments

Paper 1

Sample 1: Section B, Question 3

6

Comments

The candidate addresses the main issues comprehensively and perceptively, drawing out the subtext

of describing the art of poetry from both poems and comparing them ably (though the analysis of

sandpiper is considerably more assured than that of swinging on Birches). On the shorter

questions, the candidate answers succinctly and mostly accurately, correctly identifying the fat

image in III, though (iv) is very thin and (v) requires more justification for what fricatives and

sibilance suggest.

7

Sample 2: Section C, Question 6

8

Comments

Though it is difficult to excel in the Unseen Poetry Section, and artificial to ascribe a level to this

particular section alone, this answer shows a clear understanding of the use of the monster as a

psychological cypher, and deals with the abstract notions embodying it in a sophisticated manner.

The candidate’s recognition of the poem’s diction as helping to build atmosphere should also be

noted.

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Sample 3: Section A, Question 2

16

Comments

The candidate’s answers are on target (though perhaps less so in (iii)) and show a sensitivity to and

understanding of the text. Though there is too much direct quotation the candidate is able to

extract from them insightful generalizations about Othello and the attitudes of the Venetian Council.

Only in the section on magic does the candidate have difficulties illuminating the reader on its

significance to the play as a whole.

17


20

Comments

A lower end Level 4, this analysis of the set poems shows a clear awareness of the main

preoccupations of the poems and their contrasting styles, though the writer encounters some

difficulties with identifying what certain poetic techniques contribute to the work (the ‘s’s creating

‘silence’ in the Larkin poem in particular). More could be said about how ‘The Wanderer’ is torn,

but the shared theme of loneliness provides a coherent link in the answers to some of the

sub-questions.

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23

Comments

Again, a lower end Level 4. Though fluently and stylishly written, with the poem clearly

understood for its visual imagery, the writer overall needs to make more use of poetic terminology

and avoid making assertions such as ‘the last three lines … gives hope’. That said, the answer to

(iii) is first rate and shows a sophisticated ability to relate the ‘science’ to the image described.

24



28

Comments

A superficial but logical account of Ralph’s and Othello’s arrivals with a several attempts to

compare the texts in a straightforward manner.

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32

Comments

The writer shows some understanding of the poems in terms of content, language and technique, but

reads too much particularly into the Larkin poem, ideas regarding temptation and resistance not

being sufficiently well supported by the text. The response in (iii) is better reasoned, with the

‘anxious’ house interpreted well, even if this is not strictly an example of personification.

33


35

Comments

The writer addresses (i) most ably but approaches the other sub-questions in a less organized

fashion. However, most of the salient points are acknowledged and the effect of such features as

run-on lines is identified in a straightforward manner.

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43

Comments

This example of a strong Level 2 indicates many of the problems slightly below average candidates

have with relating to texts. The writer depends too heavily on regurgitating large chunks of the

text to which simplistic explanations are added. That said, the explanations are generally accurate

and logical comparisons are made between the texts. A shame, as with many of the answers to this

question, the beauty of the extracts is not really discussed.

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45

Comments

An example of a weak Level 2, the writer does not manage to broach the psychological dimension

given metaphorical weight by the image of the monster. Everything is interpreted literally, rather

than ‘literaturely’.

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48

Comments

The writer mostly repeats lines from the Lord of the Flies extract and makes vague references to

‘the natural’ which forms the basis of Ralph’s experiences. The argument that the storm in Othello

is a prelude for the beauty, in the form of Desdemona, that arises from it, is logical however.

Again, the beauty of the extracts themselves is not discussed.

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50

Comments

Although in (i) the writer seems close to describing the relationship between Bishop as a poet and

the sandpiper’s behaviour, the answer becomes too repetitive and circular. As for the answers to

the other sub-questions, only (ii) and (v) make valid points, with (iv) proving superficial and (iii)

nonsensical.

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Paper 2

Sample 13: Part II, Question 10

55

Comments

Elegantly framed and showing a sophisticated understanding of the texts, the writer argues his/her

case well, although it is unlikely that most readers would encounter as despicable a villain as Iago in

real life. The candidate is able to point out the folly of believing in appearances and the dangers of

prejudicial thinking clearly and with considerable insight. A pity that more scrutiny is not given to

the idea of the set writers teaching lessons about life and whether or not this is appropriate.

56


Sample 14: Part I, Section C, Question 5

63

Comments

The writer shows a thorough knowledge of Kitty’s strengths and shortcomings in a well-organized if

slightly overlong essay. However, even the better answers, such as this one, did not draw

sufficiently on technical aspects of the film which help us to ‘see’ her side of the story.

64

Sample 15: Part I, Section D, Question 7

68

Comments

A thorough and workmanlike answer to the question with the strengths of both forms of narrative

ably pointed out and in particular the somewhat manipulative use of the third-person in ‘Roman

Fever’ easily identified. The essay could, however, be broken into more easily digestible chunks

which would increase the clarity of the argument and contrast.

69


Sample 16: Part I, Section B, Question 3

73

Comments

The writer conveys a sense of outrage quite adequately and provides strong support from the text for

Iago’s punishment. However, there is a tendency to relate details of incidents we are already aware

of rather than an inclination to explore the wider implications of Iago’s acts. He is, after all, a

threat to civilization and his evil is on an epic scale, rather than the personal, the latter seeming to be

how the writer prefers to present it. The candidate is to be commended for attempting a ‘creative’

question, even if, in the context of a letter, using quotation is not really appropriate.

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78

Comments

A reasoned response which starts well but ultimately disappoints in its attempts to contrast the three

characters’ leadership styles. The Lord of the Flies analysis would benefit from a few choice uses

of vocabulary such as ‘democratic’ and ‘tyrannical’. The Othello analysis is really rather weak,

and the reader has to intuit that Othello is over-dependent on his subordinates. The candidate does,

however, show satisfactory familiarity with the texts.

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87

Comments

The candidate explores the obvious forms of dishonesty in Othello and The Painted Veil and

demonstrates a clear knowledge of the texts, with considerable use of quotation from Othello. A

better essay would seek to categorize and compare these forms and tease out the more subtle types

of dishonesty from the texts/characters.

88


Sample 19: Part I, Section A, Question 1

91

Comments

There is no doubt that the candidate has answered the question, but he/she has missed the invitation

to explore Simon’s inner psychology through the vehicle of the diary entries, and chooses instead to

simply relate what we already know about certain events from his own point of view. This is a

common danger in creative style essays which can be avoided by careful consideration of the scope

offered by the question.

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