listening and organising

Listening and Organising Tutor Guide v1 2012

Listening and Organising Tutor G

uide v1 2012

Listening and Organising Tutor Guide

For any further informationPlease call 0161 975 7777or e-mail [email protected] visit www.dpgplc.co.uk

05657 DPG B1 Listen & Organ Tutor Guide (O) v5.indd 1 13/06/2012 12:52


Programme Overview

Introduction and objectives

Session 1 Becoming a Good Listener

Session 2 Overcoming Barriers to Listening

Session 3 Listening for Intent

Session 4 Showing Attention and Interest


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Aim of the Programme

The Programme will:

The aim of this workbook is to develop your ability to understand, organise and analyse what you are hearing so as to decide what to think and do in response to a message.

At the end of this workbook you will be able to: • Listenforintent(action,purpose)aswellascontent • Givethespeakerfeedback(questions,summaries)toconfirmunderstanding • Evaluatemessagesbyfilteringoutbias(opinion,emotion,etc.) • Organisecomplexmessagesforretention • Eliminatebarriersrelatingtosourceanddestination

What are your personal objectives for the programme?

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Introduce objectives and give delegates a few moments to record their own objectives for the session (5 mins).

05657 DPG B1 Listen & Organ Tutor Guide v5.indd 3 12/06/2012 15:29

4 Listening and Organising Tutor Guide v1 2012

Becoming a Good Listener


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Becoming a Good Listener

Listeningisaverypowerfulwayofaffirminganotherhumanbeing,butitcanalsodisconfirmifdonebadly.Weoftenhaveanillusionthatothersarepoorlistenersbutthatone’sownlisteningisfineandcomesnaturally.Thecapacitytohearsoundsisnaturalbutthecapacitytounderstandthemeaningofthosesoundsneedstobelearned.Alsolisteningrequiresustopickupboththebodilyandthevocalmessages.Weneedtoobserveaswellashear.Hearing is a physiological process whilst Listening is a psychological process. So it’s perfectly possible to hear something without listening to it.You know the situation well...

You’re sat at your desk, lost in your own thoughts, and your colleague is busy recounting the events of the weekend, when suddenly she asks you if you agree with what she just said and you reply with something like ‘difficult one that, let me think’ as you scramble around in your head for clues!

There has been no psychological process of true listening and so within 50 seconds that information will dissolve from memory. Unless you use the spare capacity of the brain to interpret, check meaning and understand what you are hearing ready for storing, you will be unable to recall it later.

How many times have you been told by people close to you that you are not listening?

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Individual reflection but the tutor should ask the group for any individual responses to the questions and discussions.

“It is as though he listenedAnd such listening as his enfolds us in a silence

In which at last we begin to hearWhat we are meant to be”

La^o –Tse



Exploring Your Views on Listening Questionnaire

Which of these statements do you agree with?

1. People are brought up to be good listeners X2. People’s thoughts can interfere with their listening √3. ListeningisanaturalactivityX4. To be able to listen to others, people need to be able to listen to themselves √5. People may resist listening to others who blame and get angry with them √6. Beingagoodlistenerrequiresself-discipline√7. People are more likely to talk to people with whom they feel safe and accept than with those whom they do not √8. It is always up to other people to communicate precisely what they want X9. Peoplewhohavesomethingthattheycan’twaittosayfindlisteningdifficult√10. Some people listen too much because they are afraid of revealing themselves √11. Animportantaspectindevelopingtrustlisteningiskeepingconfidences√12. Talking is more important than listening X13. The amount people reveal about themselves is likely to influence the amount others tell them about themselves √14. Effectivelisteningentailsmakingaseriesofcorrectchoicesinreceivingwhatisbeingsaid√15. People who feel very emotional about issues are good listeners X16. ListeningtoothersdoesnotinvolvepayingattentiontotheirvoicequalityandbodylanguageaswellastowhattheysayX17. Repeatedly not listening to and understanding another can be viewed as a form of psychological abuse √18. People who are very angry are rarely good listeners √19. Peoplesometimessendmixedmessageswhicharedifficultforthelistenertounderstand√

Key things to remember are that effective listening is a skill which has to be learned and practised many times. Itdoesrequireself-control,disciplineandmakingaconsciouschoicetofullyengageandrespondappropriately.

The tutor could divide up / select from the full list and allocate around the room to discuss in pairs (20 – 30 mins) – Tutor checklist.


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6 Guidelines for listening effectively Mostpeoplecanthinkfourtimesfasterthantheycanspeak.Whenyouarelisteningtootherpeople,youcanusethisdifference in speed between your rate of thinking and their rate of speaking to organise what they are saying. This process involves the following:

Slide 1

By applying these principles you will be organising the information in your brain so it will be stored in such a way as to enable more effective recall later.

Determine the speaker’s intent. Try to find out why the speaker is talking and what the speaker wants you to do, know, or think. Summarise constantly what is being said by analysing the content in terms of main points and specific detail Listen between the lines by applying inference skills. In other words, be alert to messages that are implied not stated Evaluate what you hear by distinguishing between fact and opinion. Watch out for psychological, semantic, and physical barriers to effective listening. Be an active listener. Ask questions that help to clarify what the speaker is saying.

Slide 1



Characteristics of good and bad listening

This exercise can be done individually and then discussed in pairs. Then the tutor can flipchart the two columns with key points (30 mins).

Thinkofthreepeopleinyourlife(pastorpresent)whomyouconsidertobegoodlistenersandanotherthreewhomyouconsidertobepoorlisteners.Writedownallthecharacteristicsyouhaveidentifiedintheappropriatesection.

Good Bad

Key learning points

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Laminate cards exercise

This exercise is useful to get people thinking about their own behaviour. The tutor asks each group to get up and have a look at the other group’s decisions. The tutor can then lead a discussion around some of the more contentious areas e.g. what’s wrong with advising? (30 mins).

In your small group, discuss the impact on the receiver if you used these approaches, and then divide them into two piles, one pile consistingofthosethatshouldneverbeusedandtheotherpileconsistingofthosethatmaybeusedifthesituationrequiresit.

Directing Leading AdvisingCriticisingBlamingJudging MoralisingPreachingDisagreeing

Make a note here of which approaches from the list you have used in the past

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Individual reflection (5 mins)The tutor can pick up any key learning points from the group.

Sharing own opinionsInterrogatingReassuringHumouringDiagnosingLabellingFaking attentionJokingDistracting



Overcoming Barriers to Listening


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Barriers to Listening

A Communication Model

Below is a model showing three main kinds of barriers to listening: physical, semantic and psychological. These barriers canoccuratthesourceofthecommunication(thespeaker)oratthedestination(thelistener).Whilstbothpartiesshouldbe aware of these barriers and try to remove or minimise them, it is critical for effective listening that the listener takes the responsibility to address these.

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You cannot truly listen to someone and do anything else at the same timeM. Scott Peck

Semantic Psychological Physical Sematic Psychological

Source Barriers Destination Barriers

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Sources of Interference

Inyoursmallgroup,listasmanykindsofbarriersandfiltersyoucanthinkofthatmayimpedetheabilityofthelistenertobeeffective.

PHYSICAL barriers, e.g. environmental

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SEMANTIC barriers, e.g. abbreviations

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PSYCHOLOGICAL barriers, e.g. emotions

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Tutor input this section. Ask the following question to the group as a whole: ‘What problems do these barriers cause?’ Flipchart the responses, which may include:• Norapportorempathy• Peoplestoptalkingtoyou• Peoplefeeljudged/blamed• Peopledefensiveetc…(10 mins)


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Examining One’s Own Biases

Oneofthemostdifficultthingstodoinlifeistotakeresponsibilityforthemistakeswemake,especiallyinourrelationshipswithothers.Ofcourse,itiscompletelynaturaltodevelopourownviewsandopinionswhichareusuallyborneoutofavarietyofsources,suchasfamily,friends,experiencesandmanymore.However,wecanslipintoaformoflisteningwhichcomes from our own internal ’frame of reference’. This is what we call it when we use our own values and beliefs as the framework from which to respond to another person.

What effect is that likely to have on the other person?

Oneofthemainthingsthatcanhappenisthatwefailtoconnectwithothersinanempathicway.Iftheybelievewearejudging them or are critical of them, they will stop telling us things or behave in a defensive way. The skill of really listening to and understanding another person is based on your choosing to get inside their ‘internal’ frame of reference, not your ‘external’one,bysuspendingyourownviewsandopinionsandthenrespondingfromwheretheyare,notfromwhereyouthink they should be.

Responding from another person’s frame of referenceIn pairs• B talks to A abouthowhe/shefeelsabouttheirabilitytolisteneffectively(oranothertopicofinterest).• Amustnottalkoraskquestions.• Attheendof2minutes A summarises what B was saying from his/her frame of reference. B then gives feedback on the

accuracy of the summary. Then change roles.

The tutor should discuss bias and its impact and ask the group as a whole, ‘What effect is this likely to have?’ and flipchart the responses.Take the feedback from the pairs’ exercises and pull out key learning points, e.g. Difficulty in not advising or giving own views.

“RESPONSIBILITY: easily shifted onto the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbour”

Ambrose Bierce



Listening for 'Intent'


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Intent and Content

‘It’s not what you say; it’s the way that you say it’

Most of what we focus on when someone is speaking is the Content of what they are saying. This would seem on the face ofitquitealogicalthingtodo.However,weknowthatonlyaround10%ofourmessageiscommunicatedthroughthewords.Theother90%iscommunicatedthroughourbodylanguage,toneetc.This is what we call the Intent of the message. It is giving us vital clues as to what the person really wants to say or feels. If we just listen to the words and fail to observe all the other signals, we are likely to receive an inaccurate message and our response may then be inappropriate or unhelpful.Thetablebelowhasanumberofnon-verbalcluesthatmayindicatetheintentinamessage;writeintheboxeswhatyoumight observe in the person in the situations given.

Non-verbal clue Anger Friendship Sadness Anxiety

Tone of voice

Voice volume

Eye contact

Facial expression

Posture

Gestures

Exercise best done in pairs and then the tutor takes feedback from each pair to ensure key clues are established.



Reading the Intent in the Message

Nowassessyoureffectivenessatreadingtheintentinthemessagebypractisingthefollowingexerciseinthrees:

• AtellsBaboutanincidentthathappenedtothem(embarrassingorsimilar)whereAhadamildemotionalreaction.• Arecountsthestorytryingasmuchaspossibletotellitwithoutshowingemotion.• Bisallowedtoaskquestions.Theconversationshouldlastabout3–5minutes.• Cobservestheconversationandthengivesfeedbackonthenon-verbalcluesthatwereobservedandhowAmayor

may not have responded to them.

Everyonethentakesaturnineachoftheroles.

This exercise is carried out in groups of three.Speaker AListener BObserver CEnsure everyone takes a turn in each role to gain experience.


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Showing Attention and Interest



Showing Attentiveness

Peopletendtoknowveryquicklywhetheryouareattendingtothemornot.Forinstance,youmayleanbackwhentheyaretalking and they may interpret this as you becoming bored, whether you really are or not! It is important for all the reasons mentioned earlier that we show we are attending fully.

Write down as many ways you can think of to demonstrate by bodily messages that you are showing interest and attention.

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This exercise is usually done in pairs and the tutor takes feedback. Answers include eye contact, facial expressions etc. (10 mins).

Continuation Expressions

Theseareexpressionsthatconveytotheotherpersonourwillingnesstogivethemtime,space,attentionandinterest.Weshowthemweare‘tunedin’and‘ontheirwavelength’.Themessagetheseexpressionsconveyis‘Iamwithyou,pleasegoon.’

What are some of the phrases, words and actions we can use to encourage people to continue speaking?

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Exercise can be completed in pairs. Answers include:• Mm’sandah’s• Isee,OK• Headnodding• Allencouragers


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Effective Responding

Effectivelisteningrequiresyoutorespondhelpfully.Thisentailssendingverbal,vocalandbodilymessagesandlisteningactively.Bythiswemeanreflectingbackwhatyouhaveseenandheard(intentandcontent)andquestioninghelpfully.Goodreflectiverespondingcommunicatesabasicacceptanceoftheotherperson.Itdoesnotmeanthatyounecessarilyagree with them but that you acknowledge and understand their viewpoint.Read out to the group.

Forexample:Speaker: I’mconcernedaboutmyrelationshipwithBill.HeisbehavingquitedistantlyandIdon’tknowwhat’swrong.Response A:It’sprobablyjustaphase.Don’ttakeanynotice;he’llbebacktonormalinnotime.Response B: I’msorrytohearthat.Itmustbedifficultnotknowingwhyhisbehaviourhaschanged.

Acriticismofreflectiveresponding(sometimescalledempathicresponding)isthatitsimplyrepeatsbackwhatthespeakerhasjustsaid;however,itisimportantfortworeasons.Itletsthespeakercontinueontheirtrainofthought,notours,anditgives the listener a chance to check out whether they have heard and understood correctly.

Practice It is sometimes helpful if the tutor tries this out with the group first, i.e. the tutor makes the statement and each group member writes down an empathic response, then reads them out and the tutor gives feedback.

In groups of three, each person has to write a brief statement about something they want to get off their chest, e.g. complaining about having too many chores to do at home.EachpersonthentakesitinturntoreadouttheirstatementandtheothersthenwritedownaresponsethatisunhelpfullikeResponse A above, and a reflective response like Response B above. They then read them out to the speaker.The speaker on each occasion gives feedback on how they felt about each response, describing the effect it had.

Key learning points

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Action Plan


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Action plan

Key points Things I Things I People I Review plan to keep plan to do need to date doing differently involve



Programme Overview

Introduction and objectives

Session 1 Becoming a Good Listener

Session 2 Overcoming Barriers to Listening

Session 3 Listening for Intent

Session 4 Showing Attention and Interest



Listening and Organising Tutor G

uide v1 2012

Listening and Organising Tutor Guide

For any further informationPlease call 0161 975 7777or e-mail [email protected] visit www.dpgplc.co.uk


listening and organising

Documents

tutor guide v1

organ tutor guide v5

organ tutor guide o

listening questionnairewhich

tutor guidefor

interest05657 dpg b1

o tse05657 dpg b1

good listener05657 dpg