THE STYLISTA

THE PARTY GIRL

Letting go and moving on.Sometimes other people make decisions that affect us. You interview for a job, but they choose to give it to someone else. Your boyfriend decides to break up with you or your parents decide to move the family across the country… and you have to deal with it.

“Life goes on”, they say. And it does! You always have a choice.

a) You can mope around the streets of the new town where your parents moved you, stop shaving your legs in protest and become an angry hairy person. Which makes it likely that no one in the new town will ask you out and nobody will want to give you a job.

OR

b) You can let go and move onto new things.

If you choose b, here are three things that can help you with the process:

1) GRIEVE: Find a private place and cry hysterically, scream, yell, punch a pillow and get it all out. Don’t hurt yourself and don’t make a scene – just make sure you get all of your anger and frustration out. Negative feelings if not let out, sit in your consciousness, fester and start infiltrating all parts of your life. Cry until you cannot cry anymore. Everything you are feeling is ok. It is human to be sad and angry when the rug gets pulled from under our feet, but it is silly to be stuck in those feelings for any longer than necessary.

2) BE KIND TO YOURSELF: Watch your favorite movie again; go get yourself some lip-gloss; eat an ice-cream (one!!); call your best friend; take a long bubble bath. Do the things that put a smile in your face and remind you how fun life can be! If you can keep yourself in a positive state of mind, the final step comes really easy…

3) BE GRATEFUL: You cannot do this until you’ve completed 1 and 2. Trust me, don’t even try… it is impossible to be grateful when you are a miserable grinch! You have to wait until you’ve let out all your negativity and you’ve spent some time pampering yourself. Then… think about how great it is to live in a different place... and how fun it was to hang out with that boy for those few months... and how much you learned from that interview, even if you didn’t get the job. Be thankful that you had those experiences and LEARN from them.

In no time, you’ll be free and happy again. Just remember that although you may have no control over the things that made you sad in the first place, it is your choice what you do after that. You decide how long you want to be miserable for. You can start letting go and moving on today. No matter how big is the thing you lost, the process is the same…1, 2, 3 and you’re smiling again!

“..it is impossible to be grateful

when you are a miserable grinch!”

By Erika Flores

All Images: www.freeimages.co.uk

Appreciation.Unfortunately, we have a tendency to focus on the things that are wrong with our lives. We give most of our attention to how overweight we are, how broke we are and how greener the grass is on the other side.

Every spiritual guide and philosopher, from Jesus to the Dalai Lama tells us that the ‘secret’ to happiness is to be grateful for what we have and count our blessings. And, here is something a little more concerning. It is a spiritual law that you will not have more of anything until you appreciate what you do have.

So… Here are two things that you can do to help you realize and appreciate what you have:

1) Every night before you go to sleep think of 5 things that you are grateful for. Anything! The guy that gave you his seat on the bus; the amazing soup your mom made; the girl that explained that math problem to you; the hot water in the shower you had; your comfy bed - anyone can come up with five! If you feel inspired, keep going…

2) Start a “10 Grats” group email with your friends. Everyone has to copy everyone else with their replies. Once a week you email each other 10 things that you were grateful for that week. Remember that happiness is in the details. You don’t have to wait to win the lottery or get a big job promotion to be grateful. You can be grateful for the simple things in life: sunny days, good friends, a hug from your mom, small flowers, birds singing, cool jeans, a friend’s phone call, a funny text message, whatever…

Do these regularly, and soon you will realize how much happier you are! Keep your focus on all the things you have to be grateful for and how lucky and blessed you truly are. Every time you start focusing on the wrong things set yourself straight by thinking about the soldiers in Iraq, or the homeless people, or the children that are starving in Africa.

You don’t have it so bad after all, right?

“...you will not have more of anything until you appreciate what you do have.”

“...set yourself straight by thinking about the soldiers in Iraq,”