Linda Champagne, Soul Path Astrologer

Champagnecoaching.com

ADULT 101 – AWAKENING

Until we learn to wake up to the truth that our False Self (Ego Mind) has been telling us what to

do for all of our lives and that true freedom comes when our Adult self becomes aware of the

worn out messages and consciously makes new choices to create a life that if fulfilling, loving,

peaceful and joyous! But…where is the Adult?! The following short stories will lead you on a

journey of awakening…stepping into your Adult self and standing up to the False Self. This

journey will guide you into your heart center where your Soul is waiting for you.

GET OFF THE MERRY-GO-ROUND

One of the first lessons I had to learn along my healing journey was how to cope with stress. Stress is any reaction to a physical, emotional or mental stimulus that upsets the body’s natural balance. It can be a positive or a negative change but, we still feel it as stress. Positive changes like getting a new job or buying a house feels different from personal crisis or loss, but they all elicit a stress response in the body. Learning skills to cope or not cope with change happens at a young age.

Most of us learned from our parents and/or environment and we continued to repeat the same patterns as a response to change. I used to think that I loved change. One day I realized that I loved to change my hairstyle, my make-up, my clothes and maybe my interest in movies but that was it! When it came down to coping with real life changes, I was an over-reactor and did not see any of life’s twists and turns as a challenge or opportunity for personal growth. I did what my parents did and yelled, cried, blamed, made excuses and justified reality, as a result, I kept the rose-colored glasses on. As you look at your own life now, how do you assess your stress management style? Are you an over-reactor, do you blame others for you circumstances…maybe always a victim of circumstances? Do you feel that others are running your life and that you have little or no control? Or, maybe you learned good coping skills and when stressful events occur, you are able to take a deep breath, respond with a healthy attitude and make a plan of action.

It took me years to get to a place of accepting reality and taking responsibility for life changing events. I walked baby steps towards becoming empowered and seeing new choices. I think the source of many people’s “problems” is that they do not have the courage (facing fear) to make the tough choices, even though they know it would be the right action to move their life in a positive direction. How can you build the ability to make healthy choices? I believe you take it one step at a time. Although the healing journey is not linear, (there are side roads, detours, obstacles and loop backs!), there are also steps that lead to the next.

A first step for me was what I called, “Get off the Merry Go Round” or becoming conscious of the role you play in the drama of your life. That means you stop spinning around and around in the comfort zone of old behavioral patterns and jump off… accept where you are and start from there. But, when you first land you’re feeling pretty dizzy and the only way to get steady is to breathe and calm yourself. There is a lot of information about how important deep breathing, progressive relaxation and meditation is to your well-being. It’s a necessary step to waking up and it takes practice and you have to start somewhere! My suggestion is to begin wherever you are, in the car, at work, in the bathroom, walking or in bed, it doesn’t matter. Take 3 deep breaths (push your belly out while breathing in) to the count of four on the inhale and exhale. At the same time say, “I am relaxed” while releasing tension in your muscles from head to toe. Do this a few times throughout the day and before sleep. The benefits are not just for stress management, but also to build self-esteem (liking yourself) which many people are lacking. How does this work? When you do something you say you are going to do and commit to making a change, you put money in your self-esteem bank account and it feels great when you see it grow. The goal is to build the account to a level of LOVING yourself which gives you the power to really rock your world!

WHO’S RUNNING THE SHOW?

In order to build a healthy relationship with someone, we have to build a healthy relationship with ourselves. As I said in the last chapter, breathing and relaxing will allow you the space to get to know yourself. These moments are an opportunity to simply reflect, (or journal if you have expanded your quiet time) about present thoughts and feelings, perhaps coming to some conclusions about the direction life is going. Have you ever looked at your life and wondered why it’s not turning out as planned? In spite of positive intentions to create a life with a lasting love relationship, a successful career or healthy lifestyle, there seems to be something that keeps you from fulfilling your dreams?

Introducing… the Director of the Show! The voice lives in the basement of your being and shouts messages through a megaphone about who you are and what you should do. You are not enough, you are unlovable, you are worthless, you don’t matter…not nice, right? When you hear these messages over and over, especially at a young age (they didn’t have to be spoken, you absorbed them anyway), they certainly did not help you build a love relationship with yourself. They only helped to crush your self-esteem and, as our “liking ourselves” mechanism goes out of whack, we usually don’t make good choices in life. I know that might sound a bit frightful but we all have experienced the Director in varying degrees. How else would we have a chance to grow into healthy adults, if we did not have challenges to push us and prod us up the hill until we could finally see our greatness. At some point in our lives, we can choose to wake up and say enough! Who is running the show? It’s been called the False Self, the Conditioned Self and the Wounded Inner Child to name a few. Once you understand that this saboteur has been feeding you false information, you can take control by putting a positive spin on the old messages. I am enough, I am lovable, I matter, I count! When you begin to shift your energy towards loving yourself, you will begin, as Dr. Phil always says, to get excited about your life!

Here are three steps to begin building a new relationship with yourself. First, become aware of the Director and what he has been saying to you. Second, notice what patterns of behavior you play out based on those messages. Third, start to change the script and become the Director of your own show by seeing new possibilities and making new choices.

For example: If I believed that I was unlovable (and a big disclaimer here…our parents and/or others who influenced our past did the best they could with what they knew, so no blame… more forgiveness), then based on that message, I might do anything for a partner (including being abused) to keep from being rejected or abandoned or I might reject them as intimacy grows before they can reject me. Fear of intimacy, “INTO ME I SEE”, which means, I know what’s inside of me and I don’t want you to see it. So…enough of that negative self talk. Change the script... I am lovable! If you don’t believe it yet, look at a childhood photo of yourself when you were about five years old…is that a face of an unlovable child?! Take that child into your own heart and pour on the love.

ACCEPTING THE CHALLENGE

Spiritual Teacher Eckhart Tolle wrote, “When instead of reacting against a situation, you merge with it. The solution arises out of the situation itself”. We have heard what you resists persists, meaning, if we keep running from our reality and do not turn to face it, no matter how fearful we are, the same reality continues. Insanity: to keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is how we perpetuate the circumstances of our life. By now, you have gotten off the Merry Go Round, have started to pay attention to your breath throughout the day and have reconnected with yourself to discover the False Self “who’se been running the show“. You have even started to shift your beliefs in statements that say you are good enough, you are lovable and you are worth it! How long did that last? How quickly did you resort to old patterns of behavior and then criticize how weak you were? This is similar to intentions we make at New Year’s Eve that only last a short time before we fall off the wagon and forget why we even said that in the first place. And that my friends is the key. We want to see our life change for the better but only if it can happen magically when the ball drops in Time Square! Most of us do not have the will (or mature adult running the show yet) to make the necessary choices for real change to happen.

We humans like our comfort zone no matter how uncomfortable it really gets. Sure, we like a challenge. Many took the ALS challenge one summer, we poured buckets of ice water over our heads as we felt empowered bringing awareness to a serious illness. Yet, when it comes time to bring awareness to our own dis-ease or dysfunction, we start running the other way. If only a bucket of ice water were the solution. In our defense, we don’t know what we don’t know!

We easily see other people’s problems but we can’t see our own. I remember years ago when I would go walking with a close friend and we would “do therapy” on each other. I would guide her towards healing some troubling issues but when it was my turn, we got nowhere because I didn’t have much to discuss. I’m sure I knew on some level that I was not “fine”, but, at the time, I thought it was! Ha… I was so not fine but it’s called denial! So, here is an opportunity to take the healing challenge. What is it that you’re running from? What is the pain you do not want to face? What are the nagging feelings that you keep ignoring? Is it an old behavior that keeps getting you in trouble and you’ve lost your job? Did your partner break up with you and you haven’t gotten dressed in a month? Has an illness kept you a victim? Have you been in an abusive relationship? Are you the abuser? Are your children worried about you? Do you expend all your energy towards others leaving nothing for yourself? This is the time to accept the challenge and turn around? Who is it that has to turn around? The Adult Self has to be strong enough to face the pain. As we merge with the life situation, the solution arises. We might already have a hint about some of the choices that we have to make, but fear has held us hostage. The Adult Self has to take some action and it begins with having a chat with your Inner Child who still believes in those negative messages. As you state your plans for change you may say, “I’ve got this, I can handle this, I’ve got your back!” Yet, the Inner Child’s response is, “Hey, that sounds great, but in all fairness, you have said this before and you never followed through.” The Adult figures out that he has to prove to the child that she means business this time by deciding to take an action step and committing to it. At this point, we do not have to take an action specific to our life circumstance, if we do not feel strong enough. We can decide to take any action and it can be as simple as committing to eating more vegetables each day for a week, providing you don’t already do that! You do need to keep doing it until you get that inner feeling of self–esteem (the liking yourself mechanism). Once you begin to feel good about achieving something you said you were going to do, you can then choose another action to commit to until your Adult Self is feeling the courage to tackle the necessary decisions and choices that will change your life situation.

At this stage of the challenge, you may notice that you want to make new choices because you are really liking, maybe even loving your new and improved Adult Self! It’s easy to get overwhelmed when making new decisions about how to change your life, especially when others are also in involved. A daily reminder, take time out to breathe and tune in and don’t be afraid to ask for help!

HOLD ON!

I recently watched a movie again entitled, “What the Bleep do we know?” (2004), described as “science and spirituality come together in this mind bending trip down the rabbit hole.” When I saw it the first time, I was fascinated and inspired by the scientific proof (Quantum Physics) that we truly do affect our reality by the power of our thoughts. At that time in my life, I had been living in Arizona for four years, sold my home in NH, left my family and friends with the intention of expanding my vision of myself in the world. I worked as a Director for a Senior Living corporation and achieved some of my best work up until then. I wrote about stress and the mind-body connection and how to build an adult self who was conscious of their beliefs, thoughts, emotions and behaviors. I was also listening to Abraham, “Law of Attraction” lectures by Esther and Jerry Hicks. I was motivated to pay attention to the power within to change, but nothing changed. My False Self was more powerful than my desire to make changes. When the False Self operates as lead machine for so many years, a sweet mantra and litany of positive intentions

was not going to be the recipe for birthing a new me. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong, but as I look back, it wasn’t about figuring it out with my mind, that was like telling my cat to bark like a dog! It wasn’t until years later and many life lessons that I understood the concept of focused intent, emotional commitment and soul connection. (HeartMath.org has valuable scientific research about the heart/mind connection) Then, a bit more time before I could put new concepts into action. Having watched the movie again, I was even more motivated to move further in my own life. For more explanation about concepts in the movie, check out Dr. Joe Dispenza’s Ted Talks and You Tube presentations. In the last chapter, I talked about Accepting the Challenge that is, turning around and facing the truth of a certain life situation that needs to change and committing to make some choice. As I said, we could start with a small change to get the energy flowing and to start building self-esteem. It’s perfectly OK to keep adding to the small choices. Your instincts, intuition and/or Soul will prompt you when it’s time to make the leap into the big league, most likely, because your problematic life circumstances will heat up (maybe reach intolerable) and you will have to make a big choice to change it. Many, at this stage, will not make the choice even though it seems like rock bottom…nope…there is always lower! If you do take a courageous step and walk through your fear, you will find yourself on an evolutionary road (kind of like the Yellow Brick Road) toward a self-respecting, self-loving and empowered adult. The beginning of the road is bumpy and the map is in a language that you are not familiar with! When we make a change in our life, especially if the behavior has been chronic for years (False Self running the show), we get tested to see if we really mean business about living a different life. I refer to Dr. Joe Dispenza’s explanation of brain chemistry, he says that the brain is so familiar with what we have been telling it for so long, that it’s used to certain chemicals firing off in familiar ways. (I am totally simplifying and paraphrasing and you are welcomed to google more info for yourself.) Of course, this is our comfort zone. Now when we take away____________(fill in the blank) (the addiction, the relationship, the job, the carbs, the lifestyle) we are changing our brain chemistry. Many are familiar with drug and alcohol withdrawal but what about the effects we experience when making other changes? When the False Self gets wind that things are going to change, it starts to beat the drums of war because we (our healthy adult who is inspired to be the person we came here to be) have made a new decision. HOLD ON…the you know what is about to hit the fan!

Why? Because it is natural for the False Self (Ego/Mind) to fight to stay alive. You may begin to experience withdrawal symptoms severe enough to want to go back to your addiction (drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping, sex, TV, social media) or go back to the relationship

wondering why you ever left in the first place (we only remember the good times). We call our boss and beg for our job back or we eat a whole carrot cake because it’s got vegetables in it. The symptoms may range from headaches and heart palpitations to depression and anxiety.

Everyone is different in how they will experience their HOLD ON time, which is the beginning of a transitional state of being. You already know what it takes to walk through fear, but being Braveheart is a new experience. When your EX calls to say he’s changed (you’ve heard it all before) hang up! HOLD ON When you get anxious because job prospects seem bleak. HOLD ON When you haven’t eaten more than celery sticks and the scale has not budged. HOLD ON When you fear that you will never find love. HOLD ON When you get scared about making it on your own. HOLD ON Pass the test! The longer you can hold on and follow the evolutionary road, the sooner it will lead to a fresh new life. What that means is that we are giving our brains fresh and new information to assimilate and create new pathways. If our outer experience is a mirror of our inner experience, then the more you love yourself the more you will see love in your life. Some of the many forms love takes are abundance, romantic love, kindness, inner peace, joy, happiness, sunshine, compassion, gratefulness, appreciation, contentment, clarity, higher understanding, hope, optimism, reward, presents! Choose to experience love in any form each day (pick a love word) and watch your daily life shift. Breathe and tell yourself all day long with an emotional loving heart that you are worth it! Don’t get lost in the drama of the old life situation anymore. You have chosen to move forward. You have chosen to love yourself. You have chosen to begin to listen to your Soul’s voice leading you away from the dictates of the False Self. (Tell that voice to shut it). If you fall down the rabbit hole, and you probably will, since this is all new, Just be aware that you are

there. You can tell when none of the love words are working 😦. Breathe, calm yourself and try to notice when the negative feelings began and if there was a trigger. Once you are aware of what happened…you can choose to climb out of the darkness using the practices that you have learned so far.

Most of us will have to keep facing off with the mean False Self until we finally believe we are worth it. Each day we get to try again to move on down the evolutionary yellow brick road…don’t give up your Soul is calling you!

YOUR PERSONAL VIBRATION

During the Hold On phase, which comes after we have decided to change or let go of something

in our life that has been a "thorn in our side". We are in a state of transition. It is a time when

your resiliency and resolve are tested. Therefore, hold on, don't let the False Self sneak back in

and spew the old messages that created those conditioned patterns of behavior. Don't go back

to being part of the walking dead, which is, living an unconscious life.

If you have been an active traveler on the healing journey, then you know how to shut down the False Self when it jumps out from behind a tree to scare you! I've got this. I am worth it. I’m not going there. I am my own authority. Transitional times can be challenging because you are letting go of one way of being and you are not sure of what the new way of being is going to look like, yet. Stepping into the unknown is not what we are familiar with...but what we are familiar with, up until now, has not been working in our best interest. Accepting uncertainty will allow you to make peace with the present moment as you learn to work with your personal vibration.

Everything in the Universe is made up of energy, including us, we are energetic beings. If you have been able to check in daily with yourself through breathing, relaxation, meditation, journaling, or just a five minute tune up...how am I feeling right now...you have been sensing

your personal vibration. When we are feeling the LOVE words (you know the list) our

vibration feels higher than when we are feeling FEAR or negativity (the False Self running the show). Why is this important? Because if you want to change your life to where peace, love and joy prevail, you will have to develop mastery over your personal vibration.

You have the inner authority to maintain a higher vibration which is your connection to your Soul. (Here is where you can substitute any word that describes what you believe to be your inner eternal life force.) Think of a time that you felt so much love that it filled your entire being. Try to experience that again as you imagine the whole scene. (It's the same as imagining eating a lemon :) You brought it back...you have the authority within to create and recreate love energy. Now, when you feel fear, ugh, don't go there, your personal vibration is low and heavy. As you begin to notice your personal vibration, you can choose to lift it when it's low.

Here's the catch (err, I mean the challenge). When you are feeling low, are in pain and have robotically roamed off the Yellow Brick Road, how can you lift your vibration to that "feel good" place, especially, if that stuck place is your familiar playground? First of all, see the Truth, the playground is actually a prison ground! The gate is open, walk through and keep walking. Whew...that felt good...you got lift off! You decided to take a risk and change the rules. You no longer are willing to live by the old rules of your conditioned self. You may not know what the new rules are yet, but you do know that you want to live in peace, joy and love, and that's a great start.

Of course, one rule is to keep your vibration high. The more you fuel the inner spark that is your Soul, love energy increases and radiates in alignment with the universal dimension of love. How does this happen? It is energetic science (I might have made that up) or Quantum Physics or Law of Attraction as well as, spiritual teachings. If you are living more often in a higher vibrational state of consciousness, (abundance of everything is there), then the universe will bring more of that to you.

You've seen it work, since you're whole life has reflected what it means to live in a continuous lower vibrational state. All of the negativity and fear based thinking that you have focused your attention on has all come to you...just like you ordered! I read somewhere that said, "Worry is like praying for what you are worried about to happen".

Imagine what your life could look like if you felt more love which is also a deeper connection with you Soul. Start to visualize it, get excited about the possibilities. Live each day by new rules, that is, learn to see your life from your Soul's perspective. As you continually practice to remain in a state of higher consciousness, your life will begin to give to you (love) what you are living inside (love). Choose to lift off from here often!

Don't make it too complicated. You may simply relax, close your eyes and imagine any person, place or thing that ignites the warm and fuzzies in your heart. You could also appreciate the morning sunshine, enjoy the rain or take a walk and see beauty everywhere. Be grateful, thankful and blessed for everything! Appreciate a good meal. Pay if forward. Have some fun. Dance, sing, play...the list of ways to raise your personal vibration is within your creative imagination. You do not have to go on vacation to get lift off...just shut your eyes and fly!

MOMENTUM

Through conversations or consultations, many people have asked me why they can’t keep the

momentum of maintaining a higher vibrational state of being. The answer is simple, life pops in and

reality takes over. What does this mean? When we want new circumstances to appear in our life and

we can imagine how wonderful it feels to have them, we feel great. We know how to initiate the love

words and change negative thoughts throughout the day to keep our vibration lifted. If your outer life

circumstances are not too challenging, then keeping the momentum is fun.

But, if a big part of your life is dependent on something changing, then lifting your emotional vibration and visualizing a great outcome may not last long enough to create momentum. When you want a new job because you are ready for a promotion is different from wanting a new job because you have been out of work for months and have a family to feed. When you want a new relationship because you are ready for a commitment is different from someone who just got divorced and is lonely. If you’re visualizing abundance because you deserve it is different from someone whose financial world just crashed.

When people are going through a difficult period in their life, most times, the old script from the past pops in and takes over. (Read Who’s Running the Show) These are usually times where every button has been pushed to show us a pattern of old beliefs from the past that need to be addressed. We usually react the same way we always reacted in tough times. If you are aware of your thoughts and behaviors, then this is your moment…your opportunity to change from being a victim of circumstances to someone who sees obstacles as challenges! When you start asking for big changes, you are rocking the foundation of the False Self. Your Soul is ready to move beyond the past and create a new and exciting future. Many people say, “I really really want that dream” and that is true. Wanting change without a belief system to support it, will not make it happen. Can you shift your thinking and announce how grateful you are to the Universe for bringing this up now so that you can finally be free of it! This is the practice and it takes courage and commitment.The False Self wants to keep you focused in reality. Reality is your old truth, yes,

your circumstance are real but you say that you don’t want that anymore. So why keep focusing all your attention on it? To start action and momentum flowing toward what you desire to do/be/have in your life, change your focus to how it would feel if you already had it. Care more about feeling good about what you desire than feeling bad about reality. If this sounds crazy then maybe you are not ready to manifest your dreams. It may take more time for this new information to seep into your consciousness. We are living in a new spiritual paradigm where we are shifting our perceptions about reality and moving into a relationship with our Soul. We learn to surrender, let go and trust our higher consciousness to assist us in creating a new personal reality.

Listen to your Soul…LIVE A LIFE THAT YOU LOVE