life-swap
TRANSCRIPT
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Life-swap:
It got to a point after the Great, Great War that all cities looked the same. And then some bastard
decided that all the houses and flats in each city should hae similar si!ed families liing in them
as well. And so one of the conse"uences of haing, say, another baby, could be that you could be
moed on, to another street, another neighbourhood, your family then making way for a family
that was now your si!e, same as yours before then.
#hen no one eer pushed it so far as I know. $ut there must hae been a big place in town
for those families that got really big. %ust as there was, and I know this was so, smaller places for
those that had lost a family member as well. &ourse, the bastards that ran the cities, they had the
best places in town, as always, before then as well.
Well of course if you wanted to moe to another city then you had to find another family
the same si!e as yours. And then persuade them, or them you, to swap then as well. And beliee it
or not, that wasn't frowned on either: for that kind of alidated the whole bi!arre system in yet
another way as well. #hough how that was was a little beyond me, often.
(ften I felt uncomfortable with this. And maybe with an attitude like that, that sayssomething about why I wanted to moe. #hough I wasn't on my own there anyway. #here had
een sprung up intercity chat sites where people compared rather than contrasted lifestyles. Get
that)
#hat was how I met *am as well: who might hae been black +he said he was and who
might also hae been a uslim +he said he was that as well, but I didn/t know) A little older than
me he was as well. *till he was my kind of guy, the system haing seen to that, our liing style the
same anyway, not like before.
$efore I tell you any more about *am, well more about what I did for him really, I'll hae
to tell you more about myself then as well. Well a little anyway. I didn't fight in the Great, Great
War haing 0ust missed out on selection. #hat is, it ended before I was of age. And it ended ery
"uickly indeed: that after years and years of low leel interentions and occupations of the
1astern !ones. *uddenly, without warning, these populations, which preiously had been well sat
upon, then, suddenly, went all out and in partnership with each other in fighting back. And that
with weapon technologies that they had co-operated in deeloping before then, and then shared
amongst themseles before then as well. 2nheard of, that sort of thing, a complete failure of
intelligence there)
#here was outrage then of course. And then seere escalation for a time as well. And then
we were all spent. #he casualty numbers were huge eerywhere. After that there would be no
more wars the suriing leaders said. %ust like they hae said before, I/m sure. At that point, at
the end of all that, and because I did surie, I was inoled in the reconstruction effort for many
years on from then as well. And because ery few engineers and architects had suried, theuptown areas of all cities haing been targeted in what is now called, in a neutral sort of way, the
Great 3ush $ack, the first new cities, suburban areas een, were laid out all the same, all
according to the first plan off the drawing board back then.
#hen because eeryone was so pleased with how the first few cities looked +they looked
like something anyway, our left oer leaders then decided that this /plan/ could be duplicated
elsewhere as well, eerywhere. &ut down on disparities that would as well then, they said. And
that's what happened, and how that happened then, that way.
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Way out the outer areas of the cities were, by then, waste areas anyway. Where all the
contaminated old building components were stored as we cleared them away. $roken up roads,
bricks, roofing, drains, trains, carriages, planes, cars, buses, eerything you could think of, all
stored, all shoed out there, spread out for miles and for miles inland as well. #here was no
wilderness left to wander in, nor left een to speak of really, after that, at all.
All the casualties of the war, well they were out there as well. $uried deep in mass graes
mile after mile wide. illions of them. And all of them, and all of that, lay out there in what hadpreiously been our countryside, the farming and recreation areas we all once en0oyed the
freedom of. Well not any more we didn/t. And so nor could I.
I only suried because I came from one such country area. And so many of us left became
displaced then as well. #he Great &learances then seeing us all moed into and inoled in the
construction of the nearest new city after that then,
#hen, after that, there was the ne4t city and after that the ne4t. 5inally, I ended up a long
way from home then as well. A long way from the area I longed to go back to, always, ruined or
what) (r at least to be near to there again one day I hoped. And surely, one day, we would be
allowed to roam there again freely, out there, as I always remembered also. #hat before the war
that befell us all, that brought us all to our knees, all eyes were to the heaens then, I can tell you,all praying that no more rockets would fall, all eyes searching, looking out, for the ne4t though.
#hough this was probably 0ust a foggy, forlorn hope, I had hung onto an idea of getting
back home if eer possible any way. And sure I looked for persons liing in the city that I first
helped build to chat to then because of that. #here were many of us that harked back to before
then, chatted about that, though I don/t how many wished to really go back. I did though. And I
am back near there, liing here, now as well. *till, how I got here, back to near where
circumstances had remoed me from, plays on my mind still, I will tell you.
6ou couldn't tell 0ust by looking at any chat screen where any other indiidual lied then.
6ou still can/t now. #hey hae to say. 6ou as well. And of course some would neer say straight
away anyway. *am did though, right off, straight away after I put up where I now lied, which Ioften did, 0ust to see if someone might wish to speak to me about moing here. *o far then it had
always been why, what for, it/s all the same now, so it had always been no.
/7o kidding,/ *am said, his opening gambit. And then he said that he had grown up there,
or here as it was to me, then.
#hen,/Would he,/ I asked, after a bit of half-hearted tosh about our family type, eer, then,
/eer consider moing back)/
$ack he came with, 0ust like that, that he might) $ut now that we were talking, we
certainly were, he then said that there was some problem stopping him een isiting here
anymore.
Anymore) *urely this was some e4aggeration8 5or so far as I knew, then, someone else 0usthaing the same si!ed families as me was the only prere"uisite, then, for me wanting to leae)
/Leae it with me to think about it anyway,/ he tapped back. /#here might be a way, some
day. I/ll hae a think./
#hink it was three weeks after that that I caught up with him online again. And so he
obiously worked, I had worked that out by then, worked at something anyway)
Anyway, he said then, after I prompted him with a, /e here again, from 9,/ pause...then
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shyly, /hi.../
/;i again,/ then +and so he did remember me, then. , was it)/
/It was,/ I said, nonchalant like +when I/d actually been hanging out to chat with him again
all that time, weeks. And then got down that, /It was going fine here...it is fine here.../ +another
dust storm haing 0ust passed through then which I didn/t mention, instead I asked him, we all
do, about the air up there. #hat our big pre-occupation here, now.
/7ow how was the air up there, then)/ I asked, so far south I was from home, now a lot
longer though, than one day of trael by Inter-city train away.
Away we then we chatted again. And about nothing really, can/t een remember what
really. And then, after a while, I broached a big "uestion, the what)
/What did this person down here hae against him)/ #hat without broaching the "uestion
of him moing with his family down here again 0ust yet. $ut I would. I first off 0ust asked him
that.
/#hat,/ he said, would hae to wait for another night. And then, after a two minute wait,
/We/d hae to go toIncto discuss that anyway./ And then, after another minute or two while Icogitated on that, he tapped back, /9id I know what he meant by that)/
#hat I might, I thought, and so I tapped back that, /I did,/ after that.
#hat was one tap too many perhaps then. #hough I am now back near where I wanted to
get. As it was, then, I didn/t know that much about that sort of thing. I had some ague idea
though, which turned out to be "uite right. #hat this sort of thing inoled chat, with some
encryption added to that.
#hat and that this was supposedly secure as well. #he only trouble being, that if *am
wanted me to go to that, well I didn/t hae access to any of that kind of technology. *o few of useer had, at that. #his should hae, really, raised "uestions inside of me as well then. $ut I
blithely carried on. I was blinkered.
$linkered by then most us were as well. 5or it was like this then as well. It was no longer
considered cool, or anything een remotely like that, to rebel or to retaliate any more. #hat due to
all the decimation there/d been. #here had been great fear after that. &onformity, now, was
standard, part of that.
#hat technology, formerly military, was prohibited property now as well. *till I tapped
back that, /7e4t time you see me online, I will be able to get into that./ I would try, anyway.
Anyway, I don't know why, but I thought then, as I logged off that night, that *am was
taking a big risk there. $igger that I was then anyway. 5or I was clean as clean up to that point. Amodel citi!en, hadn/t we all been for a while. *am not, obiously. I/d hae to get out more.
ore, I had the yen to moe so I must. *till, up till then, that was all that could eer hae
been used against me. #hat frowned on a little, not made easy anyway, but no more than difficult,
really. 7ot much fuss at all for me.
e, I/d neer een kept dodgy company before. Well, not much anyway. (ne good friend
had turned out to be a bit of a robber, but I didn/t know about that then. Another guy, another
friend, had moed on some time ago as well, had had to really, to another city, money again. In
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what league, I wondered, was *am)
*am was not, by the sounds of it, clean as clean at all. ;e had things he had to face, more
difficult things. And so more held him back. &ourage, well courage was something you could not
een begin to know you possessed unless you had been tested. 7o e4amination at all, really, a life
that is ordinary.
(rdinary my life is but not my wife though, at least I didn/t think so. Always testing me
she asked me the ne4t morning after that e4change with *am to e4plain.
/14plain, if you please, your in-ordinate amount of time you ordinarily spend online) Are
you bored) +I was. Good test. /What/s got into you) ;ae you got another woman on the go)
And who on earth hae you been chatting to lately)/
/Lately,/ I replied, /#o no one in particular./ 7ot yet to anyone in particular I meant.
ostly, I had been looking out for someone like *am. #hat was all, actually.
Actually, it would, of course, hae been impossible for me to spend the amount of time
online that I did then. #hat had it not been that my wife had shifts worked into her roster at the
hospital then. *he a nurse, then, working late afternoons till late, sometimes ery late. And
latterly she/d been arriing home later than usual and I/d still be up and at this. It was, she said,/getting a bit beyond a 0oke./
/%oke,/ I used to think, that was one, another one, as if. addy, eerything any man could
eer want. ;ighbrow not. *imple she thought so of herself then, said so. #hat an idea she had
about herself that came from where I don/t know) (ne I neer contradicted though, that being
how she liked to see herself then, obiously.
(biously, that another 0oke. 5or there was nothing obious about my addy at all. #all
she was, is. =ind she can be at times as well. $it of a confidence shaker at times as well though.
2nderstanding, well some of the time. Good looker, yes. Great mother, yes, that to our two
children, those two, a4 and atilda, near independence as well, by then. *eldom asking us for
much, or een about anything, much more, anymore. 5rom her maybe, not from me.
e, I did hae one secret at that time though. #his one. And I had decided to keep it to
myself as well. Which I shouldn/t hae, of course, I knew. addy sleeping deeply beside me,
rolled oer, een as I, beside myself, turned this, not for the last time either, oer.
(er to the ne4t morning then, after that semi-sleepless night, and a kiss goodbye from my
adorable, if not adoring of me all the time, addy, as off to work I would soon go. addy still
seeming somewhat suspicious of me it seemed so then, that morning, as well. (ff to work. And on
my way I decided I might best curb some of my logging on for a while as well then, that being so.
*am, back to that, did seem to work as well. I wondered at what) And as well as that, up until a
little after I usually got back, from my work.
Work, mine, this part of my problem possibly, wasn/t actually ery interesting, ta4ing.5ew 0obs were, actually. And, actually, there were no ta4es by then anyway, not after the great,
great war.
War had actually been of benefit insofar as the system functioned better for all those that
were left alie then. It had simplified things.any of the great and intractable economists had
perished in the war as well. *taying at home hadn/t worked for many of them either. And so, by
then, the system had had to work out a system of similar benefit. #he goods and serices to a
large e4tent were technologically adanced by then anyway. #hat signalled many years before
then. $ut not thought of then as possibly of benefit to all. Well it would be, eentually.
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1entually the 0obs, then, after the war, were shared by those who wanted them. Which,
surprisingly, was by "uite a few persons as well. Generally to get out and about I supposed as
well then. #hough not that many then, as far out as I could see, wanted to get "uite as far away
from it all as I did those days.
9ays at work for me, anyway. $ack to that, inoled monitoring then, many 0obs did, the
great machines mostly, some planting planning went on as well by about then. And in the field I
worked we looked after the great outback/s border fences as well. Which were pushed outfurther, a little further, into the interior, from time to time, specific to that plan.
3lan A, after the war, was to monitor the fences with cameras and sensors mostly. And that
from our building down town as well. *ame as eery city then. And plan $, deeloped after a
time, inoled checks on the ground out there as well, so to speak. We were at that phase and
once a week, at least, we checked our areas out as well. #hen, and at any other time also, there
were any concerns raised from our monitoring.
onitoring, in our bureau, was confined to the fences in our areas. And problems that did
arise would usually concern some damage to some part of the fence from some animal from out
there trying to push on though. A fence, when encountered, meant nothing to an animal, that
animal not understanding why or what the fence was doing there)#here some animals did succeed of course. And some managed to break through as well.
#hat was the department of another department after that, though, not our department. *till,
thankfully, the animals would be returned, turned round, rather than killed then, no matter what
the leel of deformity. #hey would, one day, be all that was out there anyway, their like.
Like it was surely enisioned, somewhere, that one day the wilderness would be welcoming
to us all as well then. #ill then still.
*till, in my lifetime I thought that was possible as well. As the ground out there was
foreer being soaked with blanching sprays.#hose being constantly dropped somewhere out there
from the planes and helicopters I/d often see going oer while at work, checking, repairing, the
fence line.
Line after line like that used to appear amongst the 7ewspeak anyway. And some areas,
after this sustained process, were said to be regenerating better than had been e4pected een. And
one of the areas often commented on, and as a clear e4ample of that, was my old stamping
ground as well, and its outlying areas where I also once used to clomp around.
Around a couple of days after I last chatted to *am I was scheduled again for a turn out on
the fence line. I suited up at work as usual, first thing. y addy was still a bit thin with me.
1en though I hadn/t been on the chat lines much since that last eening blast. #hat said I
wanted some of the air out there that day, contaminated or whateer. #hat said I still wanted to
get further away from there, that not an area I eer got into.
Into the briefing room after suiting up I turned out with the teams there for our generalbriefing about the days planned fence checks. #here were three ehicles to go, si4 personal
assigned, and our briefing was conducted by a eteran of the great, great war. e4-*ergeant a0or
%oe $rown, aka our $rownie.
$rownie to us, not to him of course, was, is, a thinnish wiry guy, not a lot to him at all, not
a lot to say ery much either. It was as if he was, might hae beeen also, constantly bored. ;is
briefings were brief and so far as 0oking about with him goes, you don/t8
9on/t get me wrong though. ;e wasn/t panicky or picky, 0ust ery professional, at work.
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Another part of his life, we knew, was not ery professional. 5or we all knew he had a taste for
0ust about anything going out of work. And that that included gambling as well. *o that we put
down to his war serice, his close calls. #hat we thought leant him more towards risk, after that.
And as a more risky life-style would cost more, his likely did, that we imagined was why he was
often at work as well, for more money, more often than us anyway.
Anyway, I had already decided that %oe $rown was the man. ;e was the one I was going
to ask about this little problem of mine now, this Inc) ;e was the man, I had decided, that 0ustmight help me there) &ertainly he wouldn/t report me I didnl/t think. *o I could ask.
Ask him I did then, ne4t time I caught up with him outside and smoking, that frowned on
more that most social crimes still. #hat despite the whole world being laid near waste again. And
that with weapons of all si!es and ranges, and some portable, packaged, as well. And those all
sold or deeloped with narry a mention of their possible side-effects either. (nly, in that respect,
that they can, could, deter the taking of life. 2ltimately they didn/t. 2ltimately, all I wanted
anyway, was theInc.
/Inc,/ he mused, his eyes sparkling a bit, charging up. /&hatting to a married lady eh) (r
is it a guy) 9on/t answer that, I don/t want to know./ #his was my man alright.
/Alright,/ he said, /stop worrying, or whateer it is you/re doing 0ust now. I don/t care. I/llask around. if your serious about this, I/ll get back to you. 6es)/ I nodded. 1nd of that then. And
whew, then, I drew in a breath or two.
#wo weeks later he did 0ust that as well, tapping me on the shoulder one morning, telling
me then to meet him at his smoking place again, outside, at the end of my shift for another chat,
later.
Later, and in between draws on his cigarette, he told me he had to meet with me again. $ut
that this time it would hae to be away from work, his club. /9id I still want this)/ I nodded
again. /(kay,/ he said, told me where, when, and turned away...
Away from work $rownie could be found at a club for e4-military types, some "uite high-
up once I would soon learn as well. #his club, theMusketeer, $rownie said he/d hae to sign me
into as well. (nce that was done I/d be a member then as well. After that I/d be welcome there
any time. ;e signed me in. /Any sort of business can be conducted here,/ he said, leaing me in no
doubt then that that might not be the case any old elsewhere as well. ;e would introduce me to
someone there. (minously I thought, that the underground, a feature of the long war, was now
oerground perhaps)
3erhaps, I hae wondered since, $rownie thought I was an aspiring black marketeer back
then as well) (r since) aybe) *till I wasn/t. 7or did I "uite like the sound of this club to begin
with either. $ut hey, he was as good as saying he was going to sort me out with the Incthere. #hat
only if I would enter the fray though, that is there.
#here, collectiely, the ranks, as $rownie called them when he bid me surey the mainlounge, that after he returned from the bar with two %ars of &ity $itter, looked aguely
disreputable.
9isreputable with the notable e4ception though, of only one lot of them, those together
though at only one table. 3resumably, I thought then, they were perhaps some of the more higher
up e4-military types) In charge of the den, perhaps, as I saw it then as well)
Well, that 0ust wasn/t so. And $rownie told me that when I first remarked on this. It was
0ust that, /that lot,/ as he put it, /some of them had risen to "uite high rank in the military, had all,
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in some way or another, graduated into the upper echelons of the current ruling class as we know
it now./
7ow, the one that was most likely to help me out was seated amongst that lot then,
$rownie said then, pointing him out to me then, pointing me out to them as well. 9uke ;enry,
his name was, and he had been in the military, not particularly high up though. $ut he had made
the grade though, into the upper class after the great, great war because +?, he had suried and
+>, because of his outstanding book keeping and record keeping abilities. And notwithstandingthose outstanding talents, he had also kept the whiskey arriing at the front line for some sitting
there back then as well, and for some not sitting there at all, but who might hae been sitting
there had they also suried.
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either could I. 5amiliarising your kids with dodgy gear, they/d wonder about your type)
#ype your message in, onto an ordinary 3& document, then, instead of sending, you saed
that document to the Inc/s micro-disk, which fitted any ordinary 3& disk slot. 6ou then inserted
that disk into theIncslot. A bit of whirring later and after the orange Inc light went out you then
pulled back your disk and inserted in into the 3& disk slot as before. 7ow the print was gone and
what looked like a full stop appeared then, te4t gone, 0ust that.
#hat you then cropped and added to the end of any ordinary chat message. #o read a
message you worked the process in reerse, copying any chat that appeared to any micro disk
again, inserting that into theInc, which then blinked a different colour, green, which signified
that unseen te4t had been added to any messages.
essages, for the sake of safety I supposed, were wiped as soon as you hit the off button on
the 3&, wiped een from the disk. *ome kind of micro-field was operating then, that the
processes secret heart. #he te4t suspended then, in it/s own space. Whereer, whateer)
Whateer sort of military application this was for I did not know) $ut this did come in
handy when addy came in that first eening I was at this, and earlier than e4pected as well.
#he fact that I was sitting there silently made worse by the fact that I immediately hit the off
button as well, as soon as I saw her standing there.
/#here you are, back to that again./
/What and why)/ I should hae said. /Why, addy, you/re home early,/ was all I was able
to think of to say instead, then.
#hen, with an about face, she said, /#o bed you,/ and that night she gae me a right
bothering as well) What had got in to her, I wondered later on, blinking. And downstairs, the Inc,
sitting behind the speakers, began blinking as well.
Well, the ne4t day was a work day, and the ne4t night another late shift for addy as well.
With little to interrupt me again, after I/d washed up, I switched on the computer again. And
after logging on I prepared a message for *am again, 0ust in case he might come on again.
Again he did, late again. And once again we chatted, my back to the door, my ear to the
wall, listening out for my addy.
addy didn/t interrupt us though, that eening, and we got though "uite a bit. #he effort
not wasted then for once again it had taken me "uite some time to get a message for *am all set.
*o ready at the end of a line of ordinary chat I had managed to add, within the full stop, a
message to *am, /I could now receie more personal messages./ I wondered if he would get back
byInc. I didn/t hae to wait long.
/Long time back,/ his full stop, when I/d deciphered it, said, /I was witness to a war crime
and that/s why I BheC moed here, swapped myself, luckily, after I ran into him again, the guy
who/d gien the orders, the guy who/d then let me leae the scene thinking, I suppose, the warwould neer end anyway, and that I/d get killed that way. *urprised I was to see that he had
suried as well. $ut een more surprising to me was, I found out, that he was part of the new
order in my own home town when I returned there./
#here he ended for now. #he preceding chat to that, free for all to see, letting me know the
weather was fine there, thankyou. %ust like I remembered it was as well, once.
(nce addy had gone off the ne4t night I watched for him again. And when I noticed him
there I sent him another message, preceded by another en"uiry about the weather there that day
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again as well. #o which I/d also added, asked, could he tell me more. Which I hoped he would
before addy also came back.
$ack, after a while, came some more chat. /*orry I was haing some dinner with the
family before./ And then attached to that was a bit more about this crime, and what could still be
it/s conse"uences.
/&onse"uences for a crime like that, unlike many others, are serious still. #hese can still be
inestigated if anyone does come forwards with information. $ut, ah,/ he finished with, /would
that person eer be safe though, after that)
#hat was the end of that line of chat then, the weather being fine again, down there. 5or a
whole week, after that, I looked out for him eery night, after more. oreoer I worried about
him as well. I couldn/t see him there) I wondered if his Incmight hae been detected then) &ould
/they/ then)
#hen I began to wonder if he had been arrested) #hen whether I might be ne4t as well)
&harged with possessing the means for rumour mongering or some such thing) 5eeling slightly
guilty een though of nothing really, I was second guessing.
Guessing further then I supposed that for all *am knew I could hae been a 0ournalist orsome sort of inestigator myself. And finally, after much of that sort of thinking, I became
determined to let him know that I was at least not that.
#hat by way of reiterating that I was ery serious about moing as well. What more could
I do) If he would let me know more, like who this person was, especially, I could at least try, try
anyway, to find out more about that person now anyway, get back to him. With his standing
perhaps, now. Was it the same as before, for instance) #hese things and more I said I could do,
would do, as well...
Well *am did gie me this man/s name then, that some time after I asked for it, but he did
in the end. *aying then that he would be interested in knowing about this chaps standing now.
#hat he did need to know. #hat determining if eer he might be able to come back here then as
well)
Well, that was enough to start me off. And so now, well now the "uestion was where to
start as well) And so all I could think of then was to ask at the club, ask some of the guys there
that I/d got to know as well. And a dodgy lot some of them were as well, I knew, And so asking
about someone I/d neer met might be risky there as well. And e4-military more than a few of
them were as well, possibly een old friends)
5riends) Well lucky for me one of mine by then was one of the barmen there as well. And
it was this guy, the guy I first asked as well, who said wait, wait till when he comes in ne4t and he
would point him out to me if I was in as well. And then he did as well, pointed *am/s old comrade
out to me ne4t time he was in, and I was in as well. And it was een the case that I/d once said
hullo to the guy myself some time ago as well. #hat while getting a drink in for $rownie again,and for 9uke, we/d bumped into each other. ;e/d looked me up and down then, I remembered,
this %ules.
%ules 1thrington was his name, the name I/d been gien by *am. /%ust slips in,/ the
barman had first said, /from time to time. 7eer stays long.
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then, when I mentioned that. $ut by leaing that out, I remember wondering, had he been testing
me as well then) As it was *am didn/t know this, almost put me off, but I was all in then. Who, I
ask myself now, was he)
;e, this 1thrington I noticed, seemed to know the book keeper "uite well then as well.
3erhaps, I thought then, through him, 9uke, I might glean something on 1thrington as well then.
$ut not that night I decided. I had to get home to addy again, wanted to, though it was usually
addy that wanted me home when she got in.
In, I decided then, fitful and not getting off to sleep easily, I decided I wouldn/t get back to
*am about 1thrington for at least a couple of weeks after that last night out. 7ot about haing
seen him, especially, this %ules. indful, then, that *am would "uite rightfully be suspicious of
me too, if I did get back to him too soon. ;ad to work him up as well, I decided. As he was me,
some small oice, not addy/s, said to me then as well. *o real.
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was going down here, elsewhere as well. (ld habits, I suppose, die hard. ;e looks retired now. I
don/t know, wouldn/t ask. =nown to think the worst of people some of those types were, after the
war. y e4perience, people like that find the worst in people because they are, in themseles,
some of the worst eer.
1er so slowly I crept home that night. 7ot a raging bull, I can tell you. 7or did I rush up
to bed. 5or nodding off to sleep "uickly that night wasn/t going to happen. #oo much had been
happening. addy, thankfully, was not interested in where I/d been that eening when she camein. I held it in again.
Again a "uestion that was deeloping for me was how long should I leae off the chat with
*am, addy aside) I decided, lying there, that I wasn/t going to hold off any longer now,
couldn/t. I needed to get in touch with *am about the guy for myself now, and soon. 7ow that it
seemed the guy was interested in me also.
Also, I was now hiding theInc for the first time since I/d had it as well. #hat deice
unnoticed by addy so far, or so I thought, anyway. #hat up until she asked me, the ne4t
morning, where that orange blinking thing behind the computer had got to now)
/7ow)/ I turned. /A-hum, it/s in the shed./ God she was getting sharper, not simpler, at all)
/
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5orgieness, yes I thought, any mention of giing up on that should, would, put the
mockers on him. And on a few other mockers as well, I thought then also. And all that I could
arrange without much of a stretch of mind either, 0ust a word placed here, or oer there, then.
#hen, haing resoled to initiate something like that, the idea haing stuck okay for more
than a day, I decided would sole the problem of finding out where he lied after I was ne4t put
on call all night, then when I would hae to bring home one of the work ehicles each eening in
case of a call as well.
Well, whether or not, then, that ehicle, was or wasn/t being used for its e4pressed
purpose, who could make that call. (n the one hand the ehicle with its logos was conspicuous.
(n the other hand it would make me less so.
*o then, haing got that far with a plan, I did, when ne4t on call, wait outside the club, 0ust
back a few hundred metres actually, waiting for him, 1thrington, to call in, and then I would wait
a little longer for him to leae. #he third night I waited he arried. I spotted him going in about
>?. And he didn/t een stay that long, either, neer did, often arriing about then as well. ;e
was on his way home then. 5rom what) (r on his way to another club then) (r what) We would
see soon.
*oon we were heading out without deiation towards the suburb of Glosters. Glosters awell to do area south of the city. e in my ehicle, back a bit of course, he in front of me, in his.
;is place was a little eleated I found out now. And, as luck would hae it, his back yard
looked like it backed up almost to the fence line as well. #o the fence line that we controlled and
which we sometimes patrolled as well.
Well, I carried on down the road then and up to the fence road by way of one of our access
lanes then, that I soon found nearby. #hen I doubled back along the fence line to near where I
guessed 1thrington/s place was as well. 7ear there I slowed down a bit, looking out for lights, my
lights doused. #here he was, I could see him in his house, a light turned on, him looking out
towards where my ehicle was stopped as well though. As if he was aware I was there as well.
Was he)
;e was, had been, I soon found out. #his troubled me and was trouble for me, or could
hae been. 5or the ery ne4t day when I went in to work I was collared straight off by $rownie
who asked me straight out what I had been doing up there that night) #hat with no reference as
to whether he had checked to see if there had been a call that would hae gien me cause to be
there.
/#here,/ and seen there by no less a person,/ he said, /than %ules 1thrington./ And, he told
me, 1thrington had also en"uired when he called on $rownie about this, as to who the operatie
was out there that night as well. And so he/d had to tell him then as well, what with the ehicle
number also being thrown in by 1thrington.
#hen, it was on, I thought, 1thrington, well he was on to me now8 7o doubt about that Ifelt for sure then. 5orgetting then, of course, that he would still hae no idea why I might hae
been there) *till, I did know where he lied by then anyway. #hat part of the plan, done. #hough,
unfortunately, he no doubt knew where I lied by then, and was perhaps een planing a isit of
his own one eening there +oh please let addy be out then, as well.
Well for a moment right there and then I contemplated packing it in and moing out
straight away. %ust bundling, no mucking around, addy and our kids into our ehicle,
e4planations to come later, and heading out of that city actually. $ut where was always the
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problem though) (therwise we would hae left long ago, addy in agreement of course, we
would, sometime, hae got going.
Going to hae to tell *am then, I decided after that. Got to get him onside, ready to deal,
up with the play. And that/s 0ust what I did do that eening as well. addy out, I was going to
hae to do something I said to *am. 5or now I was in some danger as well. And that was how I
felt also. And if I did, I told *am, I/d definitely be wanting to moe, swap places as soon as
possible, after,
/After what)/ he wanted to know.
/=now what *am, I/m not sure myself yet,/ I told him. $ut would he definitely agree to
moe once the threat of 1thrington had been dealt with and then when we were ready)
/e,/ he said then, /I/m ready to moe now, man.
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worst, I/ll deny it. 6ou/ll be the one that will go away. I/e got friends./
/5riends won/t help, denial neither. 7ot in this day and age. ;asn/t helped anyone that I
can remember anyway, eer. #he war is oer now. #here is a new order. Look,/I broke his ga!e,
/I/e got a problem and so I/ll hae to keep on with this, sorry./
/*orry you don/t look punk. Look, I/e not supplied anyone with a weapon eer./ #hat,
grasping at his last chance to reason with me. A good reason that was as well. 9uke was dodgy I
knew. $ut he/d no doubt neer had a hand in hurting anybody before. In the black market
business it no doubt paid to keep business light.
Light, yes. $ut I was beyond reasoning with that night. I was getting scared as well. /6ou
may not hae supplied a weapon to anyone before but you will this time,/ I told him. /9on/t
worry, after that, you/ll neer see me again, een though I know that/s not how you work. I/ll be
moing on.../
/(n haing done what though,/ he wanted to know after that.
/#hat is none of yours,/ I replied to that, then added, /business./
/$usiness,/ he said, /don/t call it that. /#his is dirty. #ell you this...you/re lucky with me...if
$rownie got to know half of what you/e said to me tonight, what you/e asked for, he/d probablydo you for both our sakes. ;e won/t as I don/t want inolement in any of that. 5or you that/s
luckily./
Luckily for me $rownie neer did get to hear about any of this. I don/t think so, anyway)
Anyway back to my scheming again after that. #here/s more I must go oer now.
7ow oer the ne4t few days I scooped up a list of names from back issues of newsprint as
well, picking out a few of the more obiously pious ones for my list to be typed out by myself.
*ome I left off the list figuring that 1thrington would nominate some of those as his supporters
instead. Well he might, I thought, offer his list.
List at hand all I had to do after that was to ne4t get my hands on that weapon as well.
Well this wasn/t "uite all. I also had to conince $rownie that I should be re-assigned to the crew
that regularly isited the fence area near 1thrington/s house then. And already he knew
something dodgy was up, or on.
/(n to something are you $ob) I know you are up to something. =eep me out of it
whateer it is./ #his he said with good emphasis, if there is such a thing.
/#hing is I don/t want to know. And if you/e got any good sense you won/t let 1thrington
see you anywhere near his house near there again either. %ust stay in the wagon if you go
anywhere near there, which obiously you won/t be doing. Got me, /he stood looking intently at
me, making up his mind about me it seemed to me, a fool he saw probably, then turning away
said, /or not)
7ot or what, all I was wondering then was 0ust how security conscious 1thrington was on
all counts)
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than twice a week and so we/d soon know. Well, I/d know anyway. (nce he/d been taken in he/d
neer come back. #here would be no come back from that.
#hat, then back in touch with *am then. Gie our notice at work. 7ot so great for
1thrington, I knew, but he was a serious war criminal wasn/t he) And so he had something
coming his way eentually, didn/t he. *omething be-fitting)
5itting it was that the weapons policy was going to work in my faour come 0udgement
night anyway. #hat being that if 1thrington did somehow get me in his sights, well he was hardly
going to be able to shoot me then was he. What with) And so all I needed to do, apart from not
getting too near him that night, was to make sure that een from close up I wouldn/t be
recognisable to him. ind you, if he did clock me, anyone there, it would be all oer, his guard up
after that. ;e/d look about then to see what was missing, find the bag, get rid of it.
It, the weapon sure took some pestering for. And cost plenty as well when I finally
obtained it. #he book keeper, not aboe turning some business down, e4hibiting some scruples,
was still not aboe making good money out of some risky trades, although obiously I could hae
beaten him down finally as he was that eager to get rid of it in the end. #o that end he actually
brought it round finally, showed it to me in the shed then, showed me how to load it as well after
that. And then after that he 0ust cleared off with his money, declining the offer of a cup of charfrom addy on his way out as well.
Well, anyway, I hid the weapon away, and then went and had a cup of char with addy
myself, bringing up the sub0ect of us all moing again then as well. addy was interested in only
one definite thing by then though, who had guy had been)
/$een working with him a while,/ I stretched it a lot. /I was 0ust showing him some of the
tools which he might be interested in buying when we leae./
/Leae) (h, yes, I see then,/ addy said. /$it of forethought going in to us moing then./
#hen, /6es addy, "uite a bit of forethought going in. Indeed./ I got by.
$y this time $rownie had allowed me to change routes. #his cost me a bo4 of cigarsactually, for which I had kept the receipt for, on which I wrote his name on the back of as well,
pinned it on the wall aboe my work bench. Worth it really, the cigars, to be able to confuse any
back trackers, should I get caught) Lead them away from addy that way, $rownie not likely to
point them back if it got to that.
#hat sorted I got "uite familiar with 1thrington/s property after that as well then. #hat
sorted I had then decided, after some more fore-thought, that I would wait till ne4t time when I
was on call again, till then and till when I had a ehicle again, after hours. I would wait until
then, then, before I would make my last moe against him. #he first, I was always aware, he
might work out in time)
#ime I would make my moe would also be at a time when he was at the club. #hatpredictable, almost. #hen, and that I would find out when by parking near the club again for a
few more nights. ;e was neer away from there more than two. $ack off a bit further though, I
would park this time then.
#hen, when I saw him enter the club, I would leae for his house. I would, I had figured
then, hae three "uarters of an hour to an hour ahead of him to plant the items in his house. 3lus
a legitimate reason to be out there as well. #here parked in the dark in a an nobody would take
any notice of een if they saw it there. 7o full moon een to care. #his dark hour ours then,
fatefully...
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5atefully then, this night arried. 3arked where I was not so far up the road from the club
as I might hae liked, I saw 1thrington arriing.
Arriing near to his home after that, I parked, lights doused, back a bit from his yard, by
the fence line. (er his back fence I moed "uickly, "uietly, through his back yard. All was dark,
I was dressed darkly. #he bag I carried contained the gun and it was loaded not that I knew that.
#he list, my type script, was loaded though, lying in the bag, and I did know that. And besides
those, there was the hammer and the punch I carried for breaking my way in, for chipping awedge of glass out beside a catch. In breaking in I was already in serious trouble. *oon I was in
though, moing about carefully inside.
Inside I was fearful, my mouth dry. y eyes still getting accustomed to the dark, I was not
moing about much. I was fearful of breaking anything, of leaing some sign, then I saw lights
moe across the wall in the hall. (nly car lights, I knew, moe like that.
#hat was fairly alarming, I can tell you, to me. And after they were e4tinguished I heard a
key in the door as well. And then there, standing there, was 1thrington as well. And then he was
going for me also, as soon as he saw me standing there. #he hammer. Where was it) (utside,
sitting on the window sill. I reached for the gun instead, reactiely, inside the bag, lifted it out, up,
0ust so as to warn him off.(ff he wasn/t put though. #hen, dammit, I had the not ery good sense to s"uee!e at the
trigger as well. I didn/t know it was loaded then. $ut, you know it, the damn thing went off. $ang,
hell of a noise, filled my ears. And damn the book keeper I remember thinking then, while I also
noticed that plaster from the ceiling was also raining down.
9own I almost dropped the gun as well, my wrist hurt. And then he was shoulder charging
me and down I did go then. And there we were rolling around in those confines, he grasping for
the gun as well. $ut, he with only one arm, and so I had him there, had an adantage een,
though he was bigger than me, and I managed to keep hold of the gun because of that as well, and
dammit, I s"uee!ed the trigger again, unintentionally, and this time a bullet dug into him. ;e
bucked, buckled, then slumped.*lumped, done, I knew what I/d done for sure now. $lood seeping from his abdomen. I
knew enough to know that I had killed him. y breathing began to match his. %erky, short...
/(h my,/ he came back with, /why)
/#his,/ I began to e4plain, /is happening, has happened, because you were standing in my
way. I/m sorry./ I was. /It wasn/t meant to go like this. I was 0ust going to leae the gun in your
house, inform on you then, get you arrested, out of the way, so I could get out of here./
/;ere) (ut of) What) What/s that got to do with me)/ ;e was incredulous, in shock and
obiously shocked by that as well.
/I/e done nothing to you. ;ow could I be standing in your way in any way) I don/tunderstand, I.../
/I want to moe cities,/ I told him then, he "uietened down further. /And I/e got some
one who wants to change with me, who wants to come here.../
/And so)/
/And so he can/t because of you. ;is name is *am, and he witnessed a war crime
committed by you, back during the war. 6ou let him go on his way, good on you, but he/s still
afraid of you, afraid to come back here. $ut for you he will swap lies with me.../
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/6ou/re a bloody fool,/ 1thrington snapped. /6ou'e been taken in. I/m the one that
witnessed a war crime, idiot. And that/s why I/e only got one arm now as well. #hat didn/t come
from the war. #hat came after he came after me, after I ran into him after the war. I was 0ust
going to try to get him to gie himself up. I was checking to see if that would help him.
/;im, I didn/t think I/d see him again. 7ow I do want him, yes. 9id. $ut not for the reason
he told you./ ;e was "uiet, "uietening down. /*o he moed, eh. And now he wants to come back,
eh. *aid that to you has he...Look, something has to come out of this. #ell him you got me, gothrough with that plan, it/ll get in the news anyway. I/m done, past care. Let him to come back
here.
/#here/s a file on him he won/t know about. I wouldn/t hae een put it together if he
hadn/t blown me up in my car outside the bar. #hat/s why I always look up and down the street
outside there as well. In case he eer has another go. Gie him less time than last time that way,
anyway. arked you easily because of that. &ouldn/t figure out why, why you/d be interested in
me, but that/s why I came back...
/$ack to that then, to the first crime he committed then,/ this from 1thrington again. /;e
probably thinks it/s 0ust me that cares, because I tried to help him. 3romise me, do this for
me...Get him back here then. *et a little fire here before you leae. #he car will do. 7ot in here.#hen getaway from here, take your time, drie slowly away. #hen you moe, moe as you wanted
to, get him back here. 9o all that for me and for you. I will forgie you, I do forgie you.../ he
said, then he was dead.
9ead, mort, after which I did carry through with what was his plan now. I did set a little
fire there, I did leae "uietly. 7o doubt he was soon found. I went home. *he wasn/t there. I sat
"uietly, waiting for addy in the dark.
FFF