1

Lesson 13 – Family Conflict and Crises

Robert Wonser

2

Family Conflict and Crises

3

Conflict

What do you think of when you hear the word conflict?

4

What family environment is best for children?

Some conflict is inevitable and healthyHow conflict is handled is criticalPositive and calm family environment makes children feel . . . safe and secureloved and wanted

5

How are Children Affected by Conflict?

When parents fight, children feelStressedAnxious and may withdrawSelf-blamefight is about themthey try to make peace and fail

Children of violent HH tend to grow up to be perpetrators or victims

6

Intrapsychic/Personal Causes of Conflict

Originate within the individual Inner drives, instincts, values pull against each other

These conflicts come from family of origin issues and early childhood

Can be: Unrealistic fears and anxietiesNeurotic needsEmotional illnessDepressionMood swings

Solution = resolve personal issues first, then relationship

7

Intrasomatic/Physical Causes of Conflict

FatigueHungerOverworkHeadachesLow blood sugarMedicationsCause conflict because they result in:

irritability impatiencedistorted reasoning low tolerance for frustration

8

Interpsychic/Interpersonal Causes of Conflict

Based in intimate interactions

Caused byMisunderstandingEmotional withdrawalMiscommunicationDifficulty resolving differences

9

Situational/EnvironmentalCauses of Conflict

Living conditions in householdSocietal or cultural strainsUnexpected eventsSituations can trigger personal or interpersonal sources of conflict

10

Crises

Drastic change in course of eventsCan be good or bad change

Turning point that changes the future

Externalfloods, fires, war

Internaldivorce, alcoholism, loss of family member, family violence

111111

Process of Adjustment

12

How people cope with crises

SpiritualityFamily supportSense of humor

13

Violence

The intentional use of physical or symbolic force by an individual aimed at hurting or injuring another person.

14

Family Violence

Affects every class, ethnicity, age, sexual orientation

May or may not = physical injuryMaintain controlSociety legitimizes some violence:

SpankingVideo games / movies / war

Societal norms changing

15

Family Violence and Abuse

Under reported in the US 10-18% of adults experience abuse from their

partnersFBI, Bureau of Justice and other agencies report 1

million rapes, assaults, and robberies occur among partners each year85% female victims

1/3 of those 30 and under have experienced dating violence

2002-33% of ♀ murder victims were murdered by a current or former intimate partner (CFIP) (4% ♂ were)

1 in 12 ♀ will be stalked in her lifetime

16

Family Violence and Abuse, continued

34% ♀ were sexually coerced by CFIPNative American ♀ have the highest likelihood of rape

and the offender is most likely to be a strangerYoung black ♀ have the highest rates of CFIP violence#1 killer of black ♀ 15-34 years is homicide by CFIP3-10 million kids witness domestic violence annually

Costsmedical costsdamaged property lost wages

17

Verbal abuse

Words that cause mental or psychological distressshamingthreateningswearingbelittlinghumiliationexcessive jealousy or possessiveness

18

Physical abuse

Causes physical distress to a personhittingkickingthe use of objects to hurt another person

rapeother forced or coerced sexual activities

19

Non-verbal abuse

Use of symbolic forceslamming a doordestroying an object/property of anothertearing up a photographsilencesulking isolationeconomic deprivation

202020

Neglect

not providing food to dependentsnot providing medical care

21

Factors that contribute to violence in relationships

cultural valuesgender rolesfamily history of violencedrug and alcohol abusedependencyjealousy, possessiveness, and suspicionneed to controlunhappiness and dissatisfactionanger and aggressiveness

222222

232323

Why Women StayWhy Women StayAbuse starts insidiously and graduallyAbuse starts insidiously and graduallyChildhood history of abuse Childhood history of abuse CommitmentCommitmentUnderestimate the degree of dangerUnderestimate the degree of dangerFearFearAccept blame=think she can stop itAccept blame=think she can stop itEmotional dependency/low self-esteemEmotional dependency/low self-esteemGuiltGuiltLegitimateLegitimateLove himLove him

24

Effects of Child Abuse

More aggressiveBehaves negativelyDoesn’t get along well with othersDoes poorly in schoolPoor problem solvingLong-term adjustment problems

25

Abuse is LESS likely in families where

spouses have an egalitarian relationshipthey share equal decision-making power in

regard to finances, purchases, vacations, etc.the marriage is monogamousnormal disagreements are resolved

peacefullythere is outside support for the abused and

the abused seeks it after the first incident

26

Elder abuse is MORE likely when…

The elder abused the adult child as a childThe elder has decreased functioningThe abuser may not understand the

disabilityThe abusive adult child may use drugs or

alcohol

27

Stages of Dying and GriefElisabeth Kubler-Ross

Denial or shockAngerBargaining DepressionAcceptance