Leadership& Self Deception

By The Arbinger Institute

WHAT WE WANT IS WHAT WE DON’T GET!

Philosophy

An underlying issue that undercuts both

•Individuals

•Organisations

the problem of not knowing one has a problem

SELF DECEPTIO

N

PARADOX

we often create our own problems

we seem unaware that we create problems

we actively resist solutions

The result of self

Deception is…

PEOPLE PROBLEMS

poor communications

poor relationships

poor teamwork

• Politics / Conflict• Low Morale / Motivation• Silo Thinking / Lack of

Departmental Interaction• Lack of Trust / Lack of

Empowerment• Poor Leadership - Not walking the

talk!• Lack of Ownership, Accountability,

Responsibility• No Initiative• The list goes on and on………..

To solve it, we try different strategies

training

selection of the right people

robust management methods

Key Performance

Indicators (KPIs)

clear milestones

and more!

Performance Management

SystemsIncentives

and Rewards

Shared Vision, Values

BPR

Leadership Dialogue

Improved Communications

With all these strategies in place …

how much time do we still spend on managing people

problems?

at what cost to the team?

at what cost to the organization?

A BOLD CLAIM!

•Poor Communications •Poor Relationships

•Poor Teamwork / Lack of Cohesion•Politics / Conflict

•Low Morale / Motivation•Silo Thinking / Lack of Departmental Interaction

•Lack of Trust / Lack of Empowerment•Poor Leadership

•Lack of Ownership, Accountability, Responsibility•No Initiative

PEOPLE PROBLEMS

SINGLE

DEEPER

PROBLEM

SENSE: Share the information with

Mark to help him with his workCHOICE

Betray the sense

Honour the

sense

Person[Responsive Way]

Object[Resistant Way]

In Self-Betrayal, I feel JUSTIFIED

How I started to see Mark

•Competitor/threat

•Won’t appreciate it

•May not need it •May misconstrue my intentions

•Too dependent •Lazy

How I started to see Myself

•Deserve to be on top

•Hardworking•Busy

-Horribilise-Be defensive-Blame with thoughts & emotions

Why is the BOX a big deal?

L1: CustomerL2: Coworker

L4: BossL3: Team Member

Focused on Myself

Focused on my doings

Seeking Justification

Thei

r im

pact

on

me

Thei

r im

pact

on

me

Their impact on m

e

Their impact on

me

CONSTANTLY MEASURING

OTHERS’ IMPACT ON ME

BOX SYMPTOMS

focusing on… what others need to do

focusing on… other’s mistakes

focusing on… other’s negative qualities

NOT focusing on… being a better team member

and more!

focus on myself

focus on my doings

focus on others

measure my impact on others

SEE OBJECTS!

SEE PEOPLE!

Remember …

When I am in the box …

When I am out of the box …

focus on results

SOLVING THE BETRAYAL PROBLEM

measure others’ impact on me

A WAY OUT OF THE BOX

….EMBED A WAY OF

WORKING

THAT DOESN’T ALLOW US

TO FOCUS ON OURSELVES OR OUR DOINGS

BUT INSTEAD

KEEPS US FOCUSED ON OTHERS AND

RESULTS

L1: CustomerL2: Coworker

L4: BossL3: Team Member

Focus on Others

Focus on Results

My

impa

ct o

n

othe

rs

My

impa

ct o

n

othe

rs

My im

pact on

others

My im

pact on

others

CONSTANTLY MEASURE MY IMPACT ON OTHERS!