LEADERSHIP FROM THEINSIDE OUT

Becoming a Leader for Life

By

KEVIN CASHMAN

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

More Praise for Leadership from the Inside Out.............................iWHY A NEW EDITION?............................................................xiiPREFACE: HOW TO USE THIS BOOK ... from the Inside-Out.......xviiINTRODUCTION: THE BEGINNING OF THE JOURNEY..................xixCHAPTER ONE: PERSONAL MASTERY..........................................1CHAPTER TWO: PURPOSE MASTERY.........................................53CHAPTER THREE: INTERPERSONAL MASTERY............................86CHAPTER FOUR: CHANGE MASTERY.......................................134CHAPTER FIVE: RESILIENCE MASTERY....................................176CHAPTER SIX: BEING MASTERY.............................................216CHAPTER SEVEN: ACTION MASTERY.......................................252CONCLUSION: THE JOURNEY CONTINUES...............................295NOTES................................................................................300BIBLIOGRAPHY....................................................................307ACKNOWLEDGMENTS...........................................................316ABOUT THE AUTHOR............................................................323ABOUT LEADERSOURCE........................................................326ABOUT KORN/FERRY INTERNATIONAL.....................................328ABOUT BERRETT-KOEHLER PUBLISHERS.................................330BE CONNECTED...................................................................332Index.................................................................................335

More Praise for Leadership fromthe Inside Out

“Research on leadership is clear: leaders must movefrom task-specific expertise to personal, interpersonal,and strategic excellence to succeed. Cashman’sLeadership from the Inside Out gives you both deepand pragmatic practices to help make this crucialleadership transition.”

—Kenneth R. Brousseau, PhD, CEO, Decision DynamicsLLC

“Kevin Cashman knows people can change, but toreally improve the outside, every person needs tounderstand what’s on the inside. This book walks youthrough a step-by-step process of self-discovery.Anyone who is serious about personal improvementshould contemplate the questions posed by this book.”

—Joseph Folkman, coauthor of The ExtraordinaryLeader

“Kevin Cashman’s message of staying resilient iscritically relevant in today’s high-change, high-stressmarketplace. Leadership from the Inside Out providesa set of tools for managing energy and personal en-gagement, crucial to stay ahead of the game of lead-ing and living.”

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—Jim Loehr, CEO, Human Performance Institute, andcoauthor of The Power of Full Engagement

“Sooner or later, every leader who would like to leadmore effectively finds himself blocked. Kevin Cash-man’s book illuminates how we can find the meanswithin ourselves to identify and remove these barriersin order to fulfill our leadership destiny.”

—J.P. Donlon, Editor-in-Chief, Chief Executive

“As leaders, we all need to grow from technical-functional expertise to personal-interpersonal excel-lence. Leadership from the Inside Out shows us im-pactful ways to take this journey with integrity andrespect for all those we serve.”

—Juergen Brokatzky-Geiger, PhD, Head of HumanResources, Novartis International AG

“Bolstered by strong science and the refined art ofleadership development, few books so clearly bringthe many aspects of our lives into alignment. Whetheryou’re taking your own talent or that of others to thenext level, Leadership from the Inside Out providesan abundance of tools for authentic, long-term suc-cess.”

—Ana Dutra, CEO, Leadership Development Solutions,Korn/Ferry International

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“No matter your professional arena, self-understand-ing and team trust are key to enduring success.Leadership from the Inside Out has brought out thebest in our team, showing how our far-reaching tal-ents, values, and experiences all directly fuel perfor-mance.”

—Mark Cohon, Commissioner, Canadian FootballLeague

“Leadership from the Inside Out has produced some-thing any manager should admire: long-term value.As a former national bestseller and perennial memberon our monthly bestseller list, Cashman’s classic hasprovoked positive change in leaders of all types andbackgrounds for years. This revised and expandedwork takes the timeless principles first introduced tenyears ago and brings them to life for the next gener-ation of leaders through new examples, new research,and new meaning.”

—Jack Covert, President and Founder, 800-CEO-READ

“Leadership from the Inside Out captures the latestresearch, the best development model, and the mostcomprehensive leadership practices to pragmaticallyand positively impact leadership effectiveness. It hasbeen the foundation for a decade of effective andlife-changing coaching with executives around theworld.”

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—Dee Gaeddert, PhD, President, LomingerInternational, a Korn/Ferry Company

“From the moment I read the first draft of this book,I knew Kevin Cashman had created a classic. Histimeless book continues to stand out in a crowdedfield of leadership literature because it is both prin-cipled and practical. Buy it, read it, and apply it toprogress.”

—Ken Shelton, Editor, Executive Excellence

“Cashman is perfecting the wisdom first conveyeda decade ago: there is a concomitant relationshipbetween our internal selves and our external results.Leadership from the Inside Out masterfully bridgesthe gap between our too severed business lives andpersonal lives.”

—Arvinder Dhesi, Group Talent Management Director,Aviva

“Cashman’s second edition of Leadership from theInside Out blends the latest research and the latesttools to give global leaders what they need in today’scompetitive marketplace. A must-read for the globalleader of today!”

—Lawrence P. Clark, PhD, Director, Korn/FerryInstitute

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“Kevin Cashman’s integrated leadership approachinspired my personal and professional transforma-tion. The tools encouraged and still guide me tohonor all parts of my self, to connect authenticallywith others, and to lead with an enriched sense ofservice.”

—Pablo Gaito, Global Leader, Learning &Development, Cargill, Inc.

“A prosperous business relies not only on the designplan from top management but on the strengths andinterconnectivity of its many individual parts. Lead-ership from the Inside Out boils down the fundamen-tal elements of understanding human capital andhas given us strategic capacity to incubate talentfrom within.”

—Richard P. Kearns, Chief Administrative Officer,Zurich Financial Services

“Leadership from the Inside Out is one of the lead-ership classics. While it was one of the first businessbooks to capture the crucial link between personalgrowth and leadership development, it is as relevanttoday as it was a decade ago. If you read the firstone, then you will like this new edition even more!”

—Kevin Wilde, Chief Learning Officer, General Mills,Inc.

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“Leadership from the Inside Out is a major paradigmshift in leadership development. It gives you thetools to go directly to the heart of all significantleadership transformation: growing as a person togrow as a leader.”

—Paul Walsh, CEO, Diageo, and former Chairmanand CEO, The Pillsbury Company

“Leadership from the Inside Out serves as an impor-tant wake-up call for those who are ready to unleashthe power of authentic leadership.”

—Ken Melrose, University of St. Thomas HolloranEndowed Chair in the Practice of Management;former Chairman and CEO, The Toro Company; andauthor of Making the Grass Greener on Your Side:A CEO’s Journey to Leading by Serving

“True adventure always involves the exploration ofone’s innermost spirit. Leadership from the InsideOut is a compass that helps you navigate this hid-den domain as a means to bring out full leadershipcapacity with honesty and renewed energy.”

—Ann Bancroft, polar explorer (first woman to reachthe North and South Poles) and Founder, AnnBancroft Foundation

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“If you want personal transformation, then buyLeadership from the Inside Out. It will guide youthrough the unexplored territories we often miss inour frenetic-paced business world.”

—Trudy Rautio, Executive Vice President and CFO,Carlson Hospitality Worldwide

“Leadership from the Inside Out is a testament tothe too often forgotten reality that leadership suc-cess comes from living your deepest purpose andvalues as you earn followers, starting with the per-son in the mirror.”

—Vance Caesar, PhD, leadership coach and mentor,The Vance Caesar Group, and Professor, PepperdineUniversity

“In the dozen years I have known Kevin Cashman,he has consistently made his work a masterpiecein the art of leading on purpose. His new edition isan intriguing guide to this art, and it inspires us totake it to the next level.”

—Richard J. Leider, Founder, The Inventure Group;author of The Power of Purpose; and coauthor ofRepacking Your Bags and Something to Live For

“Authentic leadership lies at the intersection of ourdeepest spiritual values and our greatest personal

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gifts. Cashman’s new edition of Leadership fromthe Inside Out invites you to live at this importantcrossroads by cultivating the habits and skillsneeded to enrich your professional life while foster-ing opportunities for rich and satisfying personaldevelopment.”

—Brother Dietrich Reinhart, OSB, President, SaintJohn’s University, Collegeville, Minnesota

“Breakthroughs in neuroscience and the plasticityof the brain directly connect to Leadership fromthe Inside Out principles and coaching model. Thebook gives us the tools we need for leaders to growand develop.”

—Marcelo Montero, President, Health and Nutrition,Cargill, Inc.

“Leadership from the Inside Out is a resource thatspans the ages, integrates multiple disciplines, hasexperiential validity, and includes proven practicalapplications. Using (not just reading) this book isa transformative, peak experience.”

—Robert Hayles, PhD, Consultant, QED Consulting;former Vice President of Human Resources andDiversity, Pillsbury; former Chairman of the Board,American Society for Training and Development;and coauthor of The Diversity Directive

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“Some books are noteworthy in and of themselves.Others serve as signs that something important ishappening in the world. Kevin Cashman’s Leader-ship from the Inside Out meets both criteria. Throwin the fact that it is well-designed for reading andfor doing the exercises throughout, and you havea real mind-opener.”

—Perry Pascarella, Contributing Editor, AmericanManagement Review; former Editor-in-Chief,Industry Week; and author of Leveraging Peopleand Profit

“Leadership from the Inside Out is full of practicalinspiration and demonstrates why Kevin Cashmanis regarded as a world authority on effective lead-ership. If you want people clamoring to be on yourteam, read this book!”

—David McNally, CPAE, author of Even Eagles Needa Push and coauthor of Be Your Own Brand

“With hundreds of books to choose from on thetopic of leadership, it is unusual to come acrossone, Leadership from the Inside Out, that has thepotential to make a meaningful change in yourlife.”

—Larry Perlman, former Chairman and CEO,Ceridian Corporation

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“Authenticity is the single most important quality ofleadership. In Leadership from the Inside Out, Cash-man not only captures the essence of inner-driven,intentional leadership, he gives both seasoned andemerging leaders a road map to navigate the chal-lenges of personal and professional growth.”

—Bob Kidder, Chairman and CEO, 3Stone AdvisorsLLC: former CEO, Borden Capital: and former CEO,Duracell

“Leadership from the Inside Out is an inspiration tolead from a deep knowledge of one’s core purpose,creating value with true authenticity.”

—Deborah Dunsire, MD, CEO and President, MillenniumPharmaceuticals

“The challenge of leadership is to inspire an obligationfor people at all levels of an organization to step for-ward and lead. Leadership from the Inside Out givesyou the practical steps to develop leaders in everynook and cranny of your organization.”

—Chuck Feltz, former President and Chief OperatingOfficer, Lifetouch National School Studios, and formerPresident, Deluxe Financial Services

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This book is dedicated to those value-creatingleaders with the courage to commit to

authentic personal transformation and thepassion to serve the world

around them.

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WHY A NEW EDITION?

It has been a decade since the original writing ofLeadership from the Inside Out. As I step back toconsider its impact, I find it very humbling andfulfilling to know that the book has been integratedinto the curricula at more than 100 universities,became a number one business bestseller, and isinfluencing numerous leadership programs with itsconcepts. I ask myself, “Why did the book catchon?” Was it simply because it was one of the firstleadership books to connect personal growth toleadership effectiveness? Perhaps. But, on deeperexamination, I think its resonance was built on thefoundation of timeless, enduring principles of hu-man development and life effectiveness. Theseprinciples, including authenticity, courage, andpurpose, are not simply values that are nice tohave. They are enduring principles, deeply woveninto the fabric of life, that produce tangible, mea-surable cause-and-effect relationships. They serveboth parties, people on each side of the dynamicequation, and they tend to sustain their life-enrich-ing impact for the long term. These time-testedprinciples are not fleeting fads, ephemeral fixes,or charm-school interventions. They are fundamen-tal to who we are as human beings and essentialto our effectiveness as leaders.

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For almost 30 years, we—LeaderSource—havebased our coaching, leadership development, andteam-building practice on these same principles.Since writing the original Leadership from the In-side Out, it is extremely satisfying to see themounting research from authoritative sources,which has finally caught up with and validatedmany of these principles. What we have known foryears from working in the trenches with our clientsis now being recognized and confirmed by highlycredible, independent research. Jim Collins, in Goodto Great, has validated the principles of authentic-ity and enduring value creation with his researchon “Level 5 Leadership.” John Zenger and JosephFolkman, in The Extraordinary Leader, confirmedthrough their analysis of nearly 400,000 360° as-sessments that balancing people effectiveness withresults orientation produces quantum leaps forwardin leadership effectiveness. Daniel Goleman, in hiswork on emotional intelligence, clearly articulatedhow deepening personal awareness and interper-sonal connection produces more sustainable lead-ership results. Lominger International and theCenter for Creative Leadership’s research hasshown us that Learning Agility is a greater predictorof potential than raw intellectual intelligence. Astudy by the American Society for Training andDevelopment (ASTD) demonstrated a 72 percentimprovement in learning when coaching followstraining. Korn/Ferry International and Decision

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Dynamics, through their Styleview™ Decision Stylesassessment tool and study of 1.2 million leaders, haveshown how effective leaders must move from task-focused decisive content to strategic and collaborativecontext to get to the top. It is no longer possible todiscount these principles as soft; they producemeasurable results, and they are essential tosubstantial leadership, team, and organizationalsuccess.

In this updated version of Leadership from the InsideOut, we share more of this well-founded, corroborativeresearch, as well as our new learning. Since our lastwriting, we have worked with thousands of leaders inmore than 60 countries. We have coached hundredsof CEOs and senior-level executives worldwide at ourExecutive to Leader ® and Chief Executive Institutes sm. We have custom designed leadership programsfor thousands more high potential leaders. We havetaken scores of senior leadership groups throughtransformational team programs. Additionally, we havemerged with Korn/Ferry International and now have80 offices in 40 countries. We have abundant freshperspectives to share. In the original book, we focusedheavily on personal awareness and personal leadershipdevelopment. While our continuing work has validatedthat personal awareness is essential to leadershipeffectiveness, it is not sufficient alone to make alasting impact. In this edition, we go deeper andbroader by expanding our coaching model with equal

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emphasis on Building Awareness, Building Commit-ment, and Building Practice, which measurablystrengthens the effectiveness of your team andorganization. We still hope to inspire profoundmoments of personal insight, but we also want toguide you into enduring, transforming practice. Bythe time you finish this book, our goal is for you tohave had an integrated coaching and leadershipdevelopment experience.

In the last several years, we have expanded andintegrated our consulting practice to balance personalleadership, team leadership, and organizationalleadership. At the core of these levels of leadershipis the distinction we make between managers andleaders. Managers improve what is; managers enhancewhat is; managers move forward what is. Leaders gobeyond what is. Indeed, if the experience of leadershipis like being at the edge of an unfamiliar chasm, theact of leadership is building a bridge across thatchasm. What is the bridge, then, from the known areaof management to the unknown area of leadership?How do we build that bridge? This book answers thosequestions and offers the tools that will help you andyour organization to transcend what is, to grow tothe next level of personal, team, and organizationalsuccess.

If you have read the original Leadership from theInside Out, you will find this new edition immensely

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enhanced by what we have learned in the marketplaceduring the last several years. We have integrated ourdynamic leadership principles with this learning toincrease their meaning and accessibility in yourday-to-day leadership practices. Chapters such asPurpose Mastery, Interpersonal Mastery, ChangeMastery, Resilience Mastery, and Action Mastery areeven more relevant than their originals. Compelling,new stories and salient research illustrate thetransformative difference coaching has made in thelives of individuals and their organizations. This bookgives you a more comprehensive set of tools to applyconsciously your personal, team, and organizationalleadership capabilities. In fact, what we have done iscreate a more current representation of our principleswhile fostering a virtual coaching experience. I hopethat once you read this book and engage in masteryof the principles and coaching practices, you will wantto share it with all the leaders in your life.

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PREFACE

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK ... fromthe Inside-Out

...from the Inside-Out

Leadership from the Inside Out guides you through areflective journey to grow as a whole person in orderto grow as a whole leader. We will not simply analyzethe external act of leadership, breaking it down intoa simplistic formula of “ten easy-to-follow” tips.However, you will gain some deep insights and prac-tices to enhance your effectiveness as a leader forlife.

You need not rush. As a matter of fact, I encourageyou to set aside the urge to plow through the pages.Instead, when a thought or feeling surfaces, pause.Close the book, put up your feet, and explore the in-sight. If you want to capture a breakthrough, jot itdown in the space provided or in your own notebook.Instead of just reading the book, experience it, digestit, and integrate it into your life.

You’ve probably read all sorts of personal and profes-sional development books before; treat this one differ-ently. Savor it as you would a walk with an old friendon a calm, sunny afternoon. There is no need to hurry,

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to anticipate, or to reach the end of your journey. Onthe contrary, your true reward is in pausing frequentlyand enjoying the experience itself.

On days you feel like taking a short walk, just skimthe quotes. You’ll find one or two that speak to yourneeds that day.

If you are ready to begin, let’s walk together downthe pathways to mastery of Leadership from the InsideOut.

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INTRODUCTION

THE BEGINNING OF THE JOURNEY

It is a magical night—one of those rare Decemberevenings when the cold and the warmth mix just rightto blanket everything with big, fluffy, crystalline flakesof snow Everything looks so perfect; everything feelsso silent. As the snow deepens so does the silence inthe atmosphere. I could be viewing this mesmerizingwinter scene from a chalet in Switzerland, but I’mnot. I’m in bumper-to-bumper traffic on a Minneapolisfreeway, and oddly enough, I’m enjoying every minuteof it.

Being in a car at rush hour can be either a prison ora monastic retreat. It all depends on your perspective.Does it really matter that I’m going to be late? Eventhough I could feel stressed, I don’t. I could use thistime to listen to messages and catch up on calls.Instead, I welcome the opportunity to sit in the quiet,and to reflect. As I sink into a meditative state, Ibegin to think about my day. And, what a day itwas—a rich mixture of purpose, passion, emotion,and concentrated learning.

Our coaching team finished guiding a senior executiveof a major company through our Executive to LeaderInstitute®. It was an intensive, rewarding three

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days. We helped the client master a career-life-lead-ership plan by integrating a comprehensive look athis professional and personal life. In a way, we helpedhim to step back and observe himself just as I wasobserving the snowfall—clearly, objectively, and appre-ciatively. At the end of the last session he said, “Youknow, I’ve been through all sorts of assessments,coaching, and development programs. This is the firsttime things have really made sense to me. I’ve gottenpieces of the puzzle before, but never the whole pic-ture. I clearly understand where I’m at, where I’mheaded, and what I need to do to really enhance myeffectiveness. What would my organization be like ifa critical mass of leaders mastered the same senseof personal conviction and clarity I have now?”

As the snow piles up, I’m feeling very fortunate. Tohelp people connect to their purposeful potential occa-sionally would be lucky. But, to coach thousands ofleaders, teams, and organizations for nearly 30 yearsand play a role in helping people and organizationsto actualize their potential is deeply rewarding. I’mfeeling very blessed, when suddenly I snap out of mythoughtful state and catch a glimpse of the clock. I’man hour late! When the heck is this snow going to letup!

Give me beauty in the inward soul; may the outwardand inward man be at one.

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—Socrates

My good fortune goes beyond playing a role in thegrowth and development of leaders, teams, and orga-nizations. I’ve learned a great deal along the way.I’ve had the opportunity to peek into the human dy-namics supporting sustainable success, fulfillment,and effectiveness. I’ve learned also that these princi-ples are not reserved for a few exceptional leaders.They are fundamental insights available to guide andto inspire us all.

Anyone can lead, and there is no single chief execu-tive officer: There is a problem of getting used tothe idea of no single chief, but the passage of timewill allay that.

—Robert Greenleaf

While reading this book you may think, “Is this bookabout leadership, or is it about personal develop-ment?” It’s about both. As much as we try to separatethe leader from the person, the two are totally insep-arable. Unfortunately, many people tend to split offthe act of leadership from the person, team, or orga-nization. We tend to view leadership as an externalevent. We only see it as something people do. Theview of this book is different. Leadership is not simply

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something we do. It comes from a deeper realitywithin us; it comes from our values, principles, lifeexperiences, and essence. Leadership is a process,an intimate expression of who we are. It is our wholeperson in action. Corey Seitz, Vice President GlobalTalent Management for Johnson & Johnson, sharedthis perspective with me: “The essence of leadershipand executive development is growing the wholeperson to grow the whole leader. This means helpingkey people to connect their core values and coretalents to their organization, to their customers, andto their lives. If leadership programs do that, thensustainable performance can be achieved, for leadersand for the organizations they serve.”

We lead by virtue of who we are. Some people readingthis book will make breakthroughs and then lead theirown lives more effectively. Others will developthemselves and passionately lead major organizationsto new heights. Whether we are at an early stage inour career, a mid-level manager, or a senior execu-tive, we are all CEOs of our own lives. The onlydifference is the domain of influence. The process isthe same; we lead from who we are. The leader andthe person are one. As we learn to master our growthas a person, we will be on the path to mastery ofLeadership from the Inside Out.

What does mastery of leadership mean to you? Tomany people it is mastery of something: mastery of

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the skill to be a dynamic public speaker, mastery ofstrategic planning and visioning, mastery of consistentachievements and results. Instead of being seen asan ongoing, internal growth process, mastery isusually seen as mastery of something outside ofourselves. When you think about it, it’s no wonderthat our ideas about mastery and leadership tend tobe externalized. Our training, development, andeducational systems focus on learning about things.We learn what to think, not how to think. We learnwhat to do, not how to be. We learn what to achieve,not how to achieve. We learn about things, not thenature of things. We tend to fill up the container ofknowledge but rarely consider comprehending it,expanding it, or using it more effectively. Inorganizations, this external pattern continues. Asleaders of organizations and communities, we receiverecognition for our external mastery. Our success ismeasured by the degree to which we have masteredour external environment. Revenue, profit, newproduct breakthroughs, cost savings, and market shareare only some of the measures of our externalcompetencies. Few would question the value ofachieving and measuring external results. That isn’tthe real issue. The core questions are: Where do theexternal results come from? Is focusing on externalachievement the sole source of greater accomplish-ment? Could it be that our single-minded focus onexternal results is causing us to miss the underlyingdynamics supporting sustainable peak performance?

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Malcolm Forbes said, “Only a handful of companiesunderstand that all successful business operationscome down to three basic principles: People, Product,Profit. Without TOP people, you cannot do much withthe others.”

Our definitions of leadership also tend to beexternalized. Most descriptions of leadership focus onthe outer manifestations of leadership (i.e., vision,innovation, results, drive, etc.), instead of getting tothe fundamental, essence of leadership itself. Foryears, many companies came to us with their beautifulleadership models. One day I had a meeting withrepresentatives from one of these companies. Whenthey walked into my office, I noticed that they werecarrying an imposing, massive document. Theydropped it onto my desk with a thud. When I askedthem what it was, they said with obvious pride, “Thisis our leadership competency model.” A bit takenaback by its size, I said, “Gee, it looks pretty big.How many competencies are in there?” With a knowingconfidence, they said, “Eighty-four.” Not sure how torespond to this, but wanting to provoke their thinking,I asked, “Have you ever met one?” The certainty intheir eyes disappeared. Their faces twisted intopuzzlement, and they asked, “What do you mean?” Iexplained. “In the whole history of civilization haveyou ever met anyone who has all these qualities atall times in all circumstances? In your organizationhave you ever met anyone with all these qualities?”

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They said that they hadn’t, and I pressed further.“But you want everybody to have all 84 competenciesall the time, right?” We went back and forth like thisuntil finally I made my point. Companies createperfection myths about what they want or expect ofleaders. Although aspiring to all those competenciesmay be noble, it also would be unrealistic to find allof them embodied in a real person.

The essence of leadership is not giving things oreven providing visions. It is offering oneself andone’s spirit.

—Lee Bolman and Terrance Deal

We are not saying that we do not support competencymodels. In fact, we help companies globally buildleadership competency models directly correlated totheir business strategies. But when competencymodels are perfectionist, mythical, and unconnectedto the business needs, they are counterproductive.

As a result of seeing too many of these mythicalcompetency models, we decided to step back and lookat the most effective clients that we had coached atLeaderSource over the last 30 years. After reviewingthousands of personality assessments and 360°assessments, we challenged ourselves with thequestion, “What is fundamental to the most effective,

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results-producing leaders that supports their variouscompetencies or styles?” Three patterns became clear:

1. Authenticity:Well-developed self-awareness thatopenly faces strengths, vulnerabilities, and devel-opment challenges.

2. Influence: Meaningful communication that con-nects with people by reminding self and otherswhat is genuinely important.

3. Value Creation: Passion and aspiration to servemultiple constituencies—self, team, organization,world, family, community—to sustain performanceand contribution over the long term.

Continuing to evaluate and test these emerging prin-ciples over the next 18 months, we landed on whatwe think is an essential definition of personal leader-ship:

Leadership is authentic influence that createsvalue.

The implications of this definition are potentially far-reaching. From this new perspective, leadership is notviewed as hierarchical; it exists everywhere in organi-zations. The roles of leadership change, but the coreprocess is the same. Anyone who is authentically in-fluencing to create value is leading. Some may influ-

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ence and create value through ideas, others throughsystems, yet others through people, but the essenceis the same. Deep from their core, leaders bring for-ward their talents, connect with others, and servemultiple constituencies.

Reacting to this definition of leadership, John Hetter-ick, former President of Tonka and CEO of Rollerblade,told me, “This definition of leadership speaks to me.The single biggest performance issue organizationsface is inspiring leadership at all levels.”

Using this definition, we acknowledge that there arean infinite number of ways to manifest leadership.There are as many styles of leadership as there areleaders. Viewing leadership from this vantage point,we will be exploring three essential questions to en-hance our leadership effectiveness:

• How can we enhance our authenticity as a leader?

• How can we extend the influence we have?

• How can we create more value?

Leadership from the Inside Out is about our ongoingjourney to discover and develop our purposeful innercapabilities to make a more positive contribution tothe world around us. Bill George, former Chairmanand CEO of Medtronic, shares this view: “As leaders,

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the more we can unleash our whole capabili-ties—mind, body, spirit—the more value we cancreate within and outside of our organizations.”

Mastery of Leadership from the Inside Out is notmerely a function of achieving things. It is princi-pally about achieving one thing—consciously mak-ing a difference by fully applying more of our po-tential. This does not mean that we only lead fromthe inside-out. On the contrary, we lead just asmuch—and sometimes more—from the outside-in.Leadership involves a constant dynamic betweenthe inner and the outer. We are emphasizing theinside-out dynamic because too often it is over-looked. We tend to focus too much on the outside.We are in a continuing flow, a dynamic relationshipwith ourselves and our constituencies—the market-place, our customers, our employees, and ourpersonal relationships. Ultimately, we want a bal-ance of leading from the inside-out and the out-side-in. Our decisions and actions are in a dynamicloop from us to others and back again. To practiceleadership at the highest level, we need to takeresponsibility—personal and social responsibility.We need to be equally vigilant about the “I” andthe “We” of effective leadership. Daniel Goleman’swork on emotional intelligence precisely identifiedthis inner-outer/outer-inner dynamic as the twointeractive qualities of emotional intelligence:awareness of self and awareness of others.

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There is but one cause of human failure and thatis a man’s lack of faith in his true Self.

—William James

The purpose of this book is to help you masterseven ways to lead more effectively. I will do thisby sharing our[1] distilled insights from workingwith thousands of leaders. Although the subsequentchapters will elaborate, there are a few essentialthemes, which consistently surface as we helppeople to master their leadership effectiveness:

• As the person grows, the leader grows. Themissing element in most leadership developmentprograms is actually the “Master Competency”of growing the whole person to grow the wholeleader.

• Most definitions of leadership need to be bal-anced from the inside-out, moving from viewingleadership only in terms of its external manifes-tations to seeing it also from its internal source.To balance leading from the inside-out and fromthe outside-in gets to the essence of genuineleadership development.

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• Helping leaders to connect with their core talents,core values, and core beliefs is central to effectiveleadership development.

• Leaders who learn to bring their core talents, corevalues, and core purpose to conscious awarenessexperience dramatic, quantum increases in energyand effectiveness.

• Leaders who integrate personal power and resultspower with relational power accelerate their lead-ership effectiveness.

• Leaders who work on achieving congruence—align-ment of their real values and their actions—aremore energetic, resilient, effective, and interperson-ally connected.

• Transforming leadership development programsfrom a series of fragmented, content-driven eventsto an integrated, inside-out/outside-in growthprocess greatly enhances leadership, team, andorganizational excellence.

Kevin Wilde, Chief Learning Officer for General Mills,who was named “CLO of the Year” by Chief LearningOfficer magazine, put it this way, “Ultimately, leader-ship development has to integrate the depth of theinner self-awareness work with the breadth and com-plexity of external marketplace and cultural dynamics.

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Enduring leadership development brings together bothof these inner and outer realities.”

Leadership from the Inside Out involves clarifying ourinner identity, purpose, and vision so that our livesthereafter are dedicated to a more conscious, inten-tional manner of living and leading. This inner masterydirects our diverse intentions and aspirations into apurposeful focus where increased effectiveness is anatural result. As we move to a more fulfilled mannerof living and leading, a focus on purpose replaces oursingle-minded focus on external success. However,our purpose cannot stay “bottled up” inside; we feelcompelled to express it. This purposeful intention andaction serves as the energetic, inspired basis for en-hanced leadership effectiveness and achievement.Unfortunately, I’ve lost track of the number of timesI’ve met with a CEO, business owner, or corporateexecutive who had lost connection to this inner coreof success.

John, a business owner, approached me a while ago.By all external measures he was a great success. Hehad a thriving business. He recently built a new facil-ity to house his expanding operations. But somethingwas missing. When he sat down with me, he openedup immediately by saying, “You know, everyone thinksI’m a big success. My neighbors think I’m successful.My friends think I’m successful. My family thinks I’msuccessful. My employees around the globe think I

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have it all together. But you know what? I’m miser-able. I’m unhappy in what I’m doing. My whole lifeI’ve been just successfully reacting to circumstances.I got my degree and that defined my first job, andthat first job defined my second job, and so on. Andbefore I knew it I had this business, a family, and amortgage. Recently I ‘woke up’ and said to myself,‘Is this me? Is this my life, or just a series ofcircumstances I’ve successfully reacted to?’ I’m notsure what to do, but I have this sense of urgency thatI need to take my life back.”

From a development perspective, many leaders oforganizations today are like John. We are like naturallygifted athletes who have mastered our externalperformance capabilities but have neglected the innerdynamics supporting our success and fulfillment. Whathappens to natural athletes who become coaches?They often have an extremely difficult and frustratingtime. Why? Most often it is because they have notcomprehended from the inside-out how they becamegreat. As a result, it is challenging to mentor othersto greatness, and it is equally challenging to beconsciously aware of how to replicate their ownsuccess in the future. This is why most significantgrowth and development needs to begin with self-leadership, mastery of oneself.

When we define our identity and purpose only in termsof external results, the circumstances of our lives

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define us. In this externally driven state of identity,life is fragile, vulnerable, and at risk. Everything thathappens to us defines who we are. We are success.We are failure. We become our circumstances. Lifedefines us. Our core identity and passionate purposeare overshadowed by the events of our lives. Successmay even be present, but mastery has escaped us.Unintentionally, we have chosen to “major” in the“minor” things of life. Can we lead when we don’t seebeyond the external circumstances surrounding us?

Try not to become a man of success. Try to becomea man of value.

—Albert Einstein

Bill, a senior executive in a global company based inEurope, was caught in this external trap, but he didn’tknow it. His career had been a fast and consistentascent to the top. He had the “right degree,” hisbackground was with the “right companies,” and hisresults were always outstanding. However, his single-minded pursuit of success had great costs. Withoutintending to, he left a wide wake of people in his pathto success. As a result, he had few close supportersand team morale was low. At earlier stages in hiscareer, this was not an issue. As he advanced, itbecame an increasing problem. One day his bossapproached him and said, “Bill, your results are

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outstanding, but we need more than that. The wayyou’re getting results is starting to diminish your ef-fectiveness here.” Bill was shocked. A flood ofthoughts came to mind: “What do you mean my re-sults are not enough? Since when has my style beenan issue?” Am I missing something here?” Bill’s exter-nally built facade of success was being questionedby his boss and by Bill himself. This jolt was exactlywhat he needed to foster his development to the nextlevel.

For this is the journey that men make: to findthemselves. If they fail to do this, it doesn’t mattermuch what else they find.

—James Michener

After a few days, Bill arrived in my office for leader-ship coaching. The shock of his boss’s comments andhis need to reconcile them with his limited self-under-standing had put him in a reflective mood. “I’vebeen avoiding this. If I’m honest with myself, I knowI have to do some work. Not the type of work I’maccustomed to, but work on me. But I’m totally at aloss. My whole life has been focused on achieving atall costs: getting the grades in school, winning insports, getting results in business. When I’m facedwith changing, doing things differently, growing ...whatever you call it, I’m lost. I’m even beginning to

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wonder what’s really important to me anymore. Mylife has been invested in getting results. Now that’snot enough? What do I do?”

After a couple of months of intensive work, Bill beganto turn his life inside-out. He started to sort out whatwas really important to him. He began leading morefrom his core values. He built more relationships withpeople. He started to master the power of inner-driv-en, purposeful leadership. His team environment re-sponded to his newfound sense of service. His boss,co-workers, friends, and family all felt that somethingsignificant, something of real substance, had begun.

It’s important to note that we didn’t try to change Billby taking him through some sort of “charm school.”We helped him to wake up. He woke up to his identity.He woke up to the influence he was having on people.He woke up to his values and purpose. He woke upto his vision. He woke up to how others perceivedhim. This inside-out and outside-in mastery authenti-cally reconnected him to himself, to others, and tothe world around him. It was there all the time, buthe needed to connect to it. Like Bill, we all fall intoa metaphorical slumber at times. Rarely questioningwhere we are going and why, we go about our busi-ness and relationships day after day. Unfortunately,it often takes a traumatic event—a death, a termina-tion, a divorce, a disease, or even a global crisis—tobring us out of the depths of our deep sleep. But why

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wait for a shocking wake-up call? Why not make amore conscious choice to awaken to new potentialitiesnow?

REFLECTION

CONSCIOUS WAKE-UP CALL

Go to your favorite spot to sit. Get comfortable.Close your eyes but don’t lie down. (Remember, thisis an awakening exercise, so our goal is to wake up,not to sleep!) Listen to your internal dialogue andchatter: “This is a dumb exercise!” “Why did I buythis book?” “I’m hungry.” “I’m tired.” “I’m worriedabout...” Observe the dialogue in a non-judging way.Don’t mind your thoughts and feelings; just let thembe there and pass in and out. Let your thoughtssettle down. This will happen naturally in your non-judging state.

Start to listen. Listen for your inner voice, not theone in your head with the dialogue and thoughts.Listen for the one in your gut, the impulse thatspeaks to you through feelings, inspirations, intu-itions, and possibilities.

From that place, ask questions and listen: “What isreally important to me? Is this the life I want tolive? How do I really want to live my life? What gives

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passion, meaning, and purpose to my life? How canI make even more of a difference? How can I liveconnected to these inner values?” Pause deeply. Letthe questions and answers come to you easily andspontaneously.

Some people prefer doing this while listening togentle music, others while walking; there are manyways to open up to this state. Use whatever wayworks for you and practice it regularly. There areendless layers to explore. If you’re a bit uncomfort-able or embarrassed at first, don’t worry about it.Over time you will settle into it, and your discomfortwill pass.

When was the last time you woke up in the morningfeeling thankful, fulfilled, and happy to be alive? Onthese days, the sun seemed brighter, your sense ofself stronger, your life’s purpose clearer, and yourmental and physical energies more abundant. Thesemoments did not happen by accident. Several aspectsof your life “came together.” Your self-recognition,sense of purpose, relationships, career, health, andlifestyle were all “more alive” at these times. As aresult, you found yourself thinking, feeling, leading,and achieving in a more positive and energizing way.

For at least a brief period of time, each of us experi-ences these masterful moments. How can we experi-

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Image A

ence them on a more consistent basis? Unfortunately,there is not a simple answer. There are no quick-fixprograms in leadership development. Programs thattake shortcuts may get some immediate results bytemporarily masking acute symptoms, but thechronic situation remains. Over time, the person re-turns to an even more difficult condition. “Quick fixes”may be quick, but they don’t fix anything. The peopleI’ve worked with over the years are looking forsomething more—mastery of excellence over thelong haul.

These people are not interested in getting “psyched-up” by a motivational speaker; they are interested

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in substance, results, process, and research-basedsolutions. They want to reach a deeper, more com-prehensive level to master their lives as a whole.

Knowingly or unknowingly, we attempt to masterpersonal and professional situations according to howwe interpret our experiences. We filter our experi-ences through our unique belief system and createour personal reality. For instance, if we were in atotally dark room, we could attempt to gain masteryby interpreting it in a variety of ways:

• We could curse the darkness and become veryeffective at blaming it for all our problems;

• We could struggle and strain, trying with all ourmight to force the darkness out of the room;

• We could accept the darkness as a natural partof our existence and even create an elaboratebelief system around our particular dark experi-ence;

• We could pretend the darkness does not exist andmaybe even convince ourselves that the room isactually full of light;

• Or we could take the advice of people who havebeen in this room before: “Turn on the light switchand dispel the darkness.” (Image A)

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Leadership from the Inside Out is about lighting thepathways to our growth and development. It is notabout ignoring negativity, convincing ourselves it doesnot exist, or pretending things are fine when they arenot. Joseph Campbell, in The Power of Myth, describedhow effective, heroic people acknowledged and facedboth the darkness and the light. They learned to ac-knowledge both realities as part of the whole. But, asCampbell emphasized, “Although they stand at theneutral point between darkness and light, they alwaysleaned into the light.” Leadership from the Inside Outwill help you to face your toughest challenges andlean into the light.

Only that day dawns to which we are awake.

—Henry David Thoreau

After years of helping leaders and teams to enhancecareer, life, and organizational effectiveness, we haveidentified seven practices for mastery of Leadershipfrom the Inside Out. These practices are not stagesof development arranged in a sequential or hierarchicalorder. Rather, they are an ongoing, interrelatedgrowth process in which the practices are illuminatingone another. When arranged together, we can thinkof them as an integrated whole, with each practicesupporting progress toward a more fulfilling destina-tion: making an enduring difference from within.

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Now it’s time to begin our journey. Each of the follow-ing chapters offers you pragmatic torches to illuminateyour pathways to Leadership from the Inside Out.

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CHAPTER ONE

PERSONAL MASTERYLeading with Awareness and Authenticity

I once heard a poignant story about a priest who wasconfronted by a soldier while he was walking down aroad in pre-revolutionary Russia. The soldier, aiminghis rifle at the priest, commanded, “Who are you?Where are you going? Why are you going there?”Unfazed, the priest calmly replied, “How much do theypay you?” Somewhat surprised, the soldier responded,“Twenty-five kopecks a month.” The priest paused,and in a deeply thoughtful manner said, “I have aproposal for you. I’ll pay you fifty kopecks each monthif you stop me here every day and challenge me torespond to those same three questions.”

How many of us have a “soldier” confronting us withlife’s tough questions, pushing us to pause, to exam-ine, and to develop ourselves more thoroughly? If“character is our fate,” as Heraclitus wrote, do westep back often enough both to question and to affirmourselves in order to reveal our character? As we leadothers and ourselves through tough times, do we drawon the inner resources of our character, or do we loseourselves in the pressures of the situation?

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BREAKING FREE OF SELF-LIMITINGPATTERNSJoe Cavanaugh, Founder and CEO of Youth Fron-tiers,[2] in one of his powerful retreats on characterdevelopment, tells a moving story about Peter, anelementary school student who suffered burns on 90percent of his body. Peter’s burns were so severe thathis mouth had to be propped open so it wouldn’t sealshut in the healing process. Splints separated hisfingers so his hands wouldn’t become webbed. Hiseyes were kept open so his eyelids wouldn’t cut himoff from the world permanently. Even after Peterendured one year of rehabilitation and excruciatingpain, his spirit was intact. What was the first thinghe did when he could walk? He helped console all theother patients by telling them that they would be allright, that they would get through it. His body mayhave been horribly burned, but his strength ofcharacter was whole.

Eventually, Peter had to begin junior high at a schoolwhere no one knew him. Imagine going to a newschool at that age and being horribly disfigured.Imagine what the other kids would say and how theywould react. On his first day in the cafeteria everyoneavoided him. They looked at him with horror andwhispered to one another. Kids got up and movedfrom tables that were close to him. One student,Laura, had the courage to approach him and to

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introduce herself. As they talked and ate, she lookedinto Peter’s eyes and sensed the person beneath thescarred surface. Reading her thoughts, Peter, in hisdeep, raspy, smoke-damaged voice, said, “Everyoneis avoiding me because they don’t know me yet. Whenthey come to know me, they’ll hang out with me.When they get to know the real me inside, they’ll bemy friends.” Peter was right. His character was sostrong that people eventually looked beyond thesurface. People loved his spirit and wanted to be hisfriend.

Courage is the ladder on which all other virtuesmount.

—Claire Booth Luce

When I consider Peter’s situation, I’m not so sure thatI would be able to come through his experiences withthe same courage. But that’s the beauty of PersonalMastery. Peter was challenged to awaken his extraor-dinary strength and to walk down his particular path.It was his path to master, not yours, not mine.Somehow his life had prepared him to walk that pathwith dignity. Although usually under less dramaticconditions than Peter’s, each of us is challenged tomaster our own unique circumstances. Each of us isbeing called to lead by authentically connecting ourown life experiences, values, and talents to the special

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circumstances we face. Our ability to rise to thechallenge depends on our understanding of our gifts,as well as how prepared we are to take the journeywith grace and contribution.

INTEGRATING ALL OF LIFE’SEXPERIENCES INTO A MEANINGFULCONTEXTPersonal Mastery is not a simplistic process of merelyaffirming our strengths while ignoring our weaknesses.It is, as Carl Jung would explain it, “growth towardwholeness.” It is about acknowledging our talents andstrengths while facing our underdeveloped, hidden,or shadow sides of ourselves. It is about honestlyfacing and reconciling all facets of self. PersonalMastery involves appreciating the rich mixture of ourlife experiences and how they dynamically form ourunique existence. Peter Senge, in The Fifth Discipline,wrote, “People with a high level of personal masteryare acutely aware of their ignorance, their incompe-tence, their growth areas, and they are deeplyself-confident. Paradoxical? Only for those who do notsee the journey is the reward.”

There is nothing noble in being superior to yourfellow men, true nobility is being superior to yourformer self.

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—Lao Tzu

Research by Lominger International, a Korn/Ferry[3]Company, indicates that defensiveness, arrogance,overdependence on a single skill, key skill deficiencies,lack of composure, and unwillingness to adapt todifferences are among the “top ten career stallers andstoppers.” A research study by Kenneth Brousseau,[4]CEO of Decision Dynamics, Gary Hourihan, Chairmanof Korn/Ferry’s consulting division, and others,published in the February 2006 edition of the HarvardBusiness Review, connects the significance of personalgrowth—an evolving decision-making and leadershipstyle—to leadership and career advancement. Thisglobal research, with its extraordinarily high degreeof statistical credibility, which used the Styleviewtsm

Decision Styles assessment tool on 180,000 individualsin five levels of management from entry level to thetop, shows that if people don’t develop, they do notadvance.

DEEPENING AUTHENTICITY FORSUSTAINABLE LEADERSHIPOf all the principles supporting sustainable leadership,authenticity may be the most important. It also canbe the most challenging. Most people never realizethat it’s an area of their lives that needs attention.In almost three decades of interacting with thousands

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of leaders, I’ve yet to meet an executive for coach-ing who comes to me lamenting, “I’m having realtrouble being authentic.” If authenticity is so impor-tant, why don’t we recognize it as an issue? Theanswer is both simple and profound: We are alwaysauthentic to our present state of development. Weall behave in perfect alignment with our currentlevel of emotional, psychological, and spiritual evo-lution. All our actions and relationships, as well asthe quality and power of our leadership, accuratelyexpress the person we have become. Therefore, weconclude that we are “authentic,” because we aredoing the best we can with the information and ex-perience that we have at this time.

There is a big hitch, however. While we are true andauthentic to our current state of development, weare inauthentic to our potential state of develop-ment. As Shakespeare wrote so eloquently inHamlet, “We know what we are, but not what wemay be.” As humans and as leaders, we have aninfinite ability to grow, to be and to become more.Our horizons are unlimited. If there is an end-pointto growing in authenticity, I certainly have not seenit. In The Developing Mind: How Relationships andthe Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are, Daniel J.Siegel[5] explains that the mind is shaped continu-ally throughout life by the connection between theneurophysiological processes of the brain and inter-personal relationships. “When we examine what is

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known about how the mind develops, we can gainimportant insights into the ways in which people cancontinue to grow throughout life.” He goes on tosay, “We can use an understanding of the impactof experience on the mind to deepen our grasp ofhow the past continues to shape present experienceand influence future actions.”

Dig inside. Inside is the fountain of good and itwill forever flow if you will forever dig.

—Marcus Aurelius

To deepen authenticity, to nourish leadership fromthe inside-out, takes time and attention. In today’sworld, the amount of distraction and busyness weall experience keeps us from undertaking the inwardjourney and engaging in the quiet reflection requiredto become more authentic human beings. By middlelife, most of us are accomplished fugitives fromourselves. John Gardener writes:

Human beings have always employed an enor-mous variety of clever devices for running awayfrom themselves. We can keep ourselves sobusy, fill our lives with so many diversions, stuffour heads with so much knowledge, involveourselves with so many people and cover so

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much ground that we never have time to probethe fearful and wonderful world within.

To penetrate the commotion and distraction of ourlives, to explore the depths of ourselves is the prereq-uisite for self-awareness and authenticity. So what isauthenticity? Based on our experience coaching lead-ers over the years, we define authenticity as thecontinual process of building self-awareness of ourwhole person—strengths and limitations. As a resultof this awareness, more often than not, the authenticperson’s beliefs, values, principles, and behavior tendto line up. Commonly referred to as “walking the talk,”authenticity also means being your talk at a very deeplevel.

Another prominent feature of highly authentic individ-uals is openness. Whether they come to authenticitynaturally or work hard to attain it, the most real,genuine, sincere people tend to be open to both theircapabilities and their vulnerabilities. They have aninner openness with themselves about their strengthsas well as their limitations. They know who they areand don’t apologize for their capabilities. They alsohave an outer openness with others about their wholeselves. They try neither to cover up their weaknessesnor to “hide their light under a bushel.” They havemanaged to avoid the pitfall that Malcolm Forbeselucidates, “Too many people over-value what theyare not and under-value what they are.” Self-compas-

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sion, being open and receptive to our vulnerabilities,is an important aspect of authenticity. By acknowledg-ing our own vulnerabilities and appreciating our wholeselves, we can truly be compassionate to others. AsDavid Whyte, poet and author of The Heart Aroused,has written, “We need to learn to love that part ofourselves that limps.”

In Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make theLeap ... and Others Don’t, Jim Collins’[6][7] researchpoints out the interesting duality in “Level 5 Leaders,”who were both modest and willful, humble and fear-less, vulnerable and strong, interpersonally connectedand focused—in short, leaders we would say “hadgrown toward wholeness” and authenticity. Their“compelling modesty,” as Collins puts it, their authen-ticity as we would term it, draws people to come to-gether to achieve.

Authentic people—people on the path to personalmastery—value all of who they are. A dual awarenessof their own strengths and vulnerabilities allows au-thentic leaders to focus on the team, organization,and marketplaces, not on themselves. Personal Mas-tery allows us to transcend our egos and move intoauthentic service and authentic contribution. As Collinselaborates, “Level 5 leaders channel their ego awayfrom themselves and into the larger goal of buildinga great company. It’s not that Level 5 Leaders haveno ego or self-interest. Indeed they are incredibly

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ambitious, but their ambition is first and foremostfor the contribution, not for themselves.” Level 5Leaders—authentic leaders—see their purpose be-yond their limited selves as passionate instrumentsof service and contribution. Authentic leaders under-stand that if our lives do not stand for somethingbigger than ourselves, our leadership lacks purpose.Deepak Chopra wrote:

To be authentic, you have to be everything thatyou are, omitting nothing. Within everyonethere is light and shadow, good and evil, loveand hate. The play of these opposites is whatconstantly moves life forward; the river of lifeexpresses itself in all its changes from one op-posite to another. As we discover and acceptthese opposites within ourselves, we are beingmore authentic.

In Daniel Goleman’s[8] extensive research onemotional intelligence[8] in the workplace, Golemancites self-awareness, “attention to one’s own expe-rience or mindfulness,” as the primary competencein his framework for managing ourselves, a prereq-uisite for managing others. In Primal Leadership:Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence,[9] heand his co-authors, Richard Boyatzis and AnnieMcKee, assert, “A leader’s self-awareness and abil-ity to accurately perceive his performance is asimportant as the feedback he receives from others.”

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The flow of crucial information comes from the in-side-out and from the outside-in.

What you bring forth out of yourself from the in-side will save you. What you do not bring forthout of yourself from the inside will destroy you.

—St. Thomas

Although the world may be headed toward a timewhen top-down, authoritarian leadership will beoutmoded, I have seen authoritarian leaders withsubstantial authenticity out-perform leaders whostrove to be collaborative, yet lacked authenticity.I’ve seen leaders low in charisma and polish get infront of a group and stumble around a bit, but theirpersonal authenticity and substance were so tangi-bly established that they inspired the group mem-bers and moved them to a new level of excellence.Could such leaders benefit from working on theirstyle of presentation? Certainly. But how muchwould it really matter, compared with their trust-inspiring authenticity? “The individual who does notembody her messages will eventually be found out,”warns Howard Gardner in Leading Minds. “Even theinarticulate individual who leads the exemplary lifemay eventually come to be appreciated.”

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EXPLORING BELIEFSOne of the most effective ways to take this journeyto a more integrated, complete understanding ofourselves is to explore deeply our personal beliefsystem. Few psychological dynamics are as funda-mental as our beliefs. Beliefs literally create ourreality; they are the lenses or filters through whichwe interpret the world. Some of these “lenses” fo-cus and open up new horizons; others dim our viewand limit possibilities. Beliefs are transformational.Every belief we have transforms our life in eithera life-enriching or life-limiting way.

One of the most dramatic examples of the transfor-mational power of beliefs comes from heavyweightfighter George Foreman. In the 1970s, Foremanwas renowned for being one of the toughest, nasti-est human beings on the planet. Angry and antiso-cial, he often came across as a tough, mean, un-communicative person, not at all the person yousee today. He was not known for social graces,self-awareness, or his big smile. Immediately fol-lowing his surprising loss to Jimmy Young in PuertoRico, George went to his dressing room, lay downon the training table, and reportedly had an over-whelming spiritual experience. After that experi-ence, George changed. He changed his entire life,everything: his personality, his relationships, his

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life purpose. He transformed them all into a morelife-affirming direction.

George peeled the onion of his personality and thedelightful, humorous, self-effacing “George” cameforward. The important thing to note here is notwhether George Foreman actually had a spiritualrevelation. Many medical professionals said he suf-fered from severe heat exhaustion, and that’s whatcaused his “experience.” That’s not the issue. Thekey principle is that George Foreman believed hehad a spiritual transformation and the beliefchanged his life. What we believe, we become.

Through my years of coaching people, I have ob-served consistently two distinct types of beliefsystems operating in people: Conscious Beliefs andShadow Beliefs. Conscious Beliefs are the explicit,known beliefs we have. When asked about thesebeliefs about ourselves, about other people, orabout life in general, we can articulate many ofthem. Even though it may take some effort to ac-cess and to clarify some of these beliefs, they areaccessible to us on an everyday level. Examples ofConscious Beliefs someone might have are: “I be-lieve in treating people with respect; I fear tryingnew things; I am creative and resilient; manypeople are untrustworthy; hard work brings results.”Although we can access these beliefs on a consciouslevel, this does not mean we are always aware of

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them. We can, however, become more aware of Con-scious Beliefs and whether or not we are living inaccordance with these beliefs.

Recently, we guided the chairman of the board of afast-growing public company through the process ofbringing his beliefs into conscious awareness. As aresult, the 60-year-old chairman remarked, “Mostpeople probably think I had this all figured out. WhatI discovered is that my beliefs were operating, butnot consciously enough. After more than 30 years inleadership roles, I realize that unknowingly I’ve beenholding back crucial aspects of myself, critical tocontinued leadership success. Once I saw it in mywork, it was easy to see that I was doing the samething at home with my family.”

Elena was an executive in a global service firm in theUnited Kingdom. Her intelligence, energetic workethic, results orientation, and excellent relationshipskills had supported her pattern of success. Sheprided herself on how connected the people on herteam were with her and each other. In meetings, teammembers conducted themselves respectfully, and theyrarely engaged in conflict. One day during a one-on-one with her boss, Elena was taken aback when herboss said, “Elena, you’ve been on the team for a whilenow, and you never disagree with me. I don’t reallyknow if you are really invested in all these newchanges we’re making, or if you are just going along

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with them. You’re too nice! I need you to step forwardmore powerfully and challenge me.” Ingrained in Elenafrom a young age was the fear of rejection, whichoperated with the belief that being liked and acceptedwas the only way to really connect with people.Elena’s boss encouraged her to see that speaking up,being more open, is not only more respectful but alsomore authentic. After working with Elena for a while,we were able to help her break free of Shadow Beliefsaround rejection and see that fostering more opendiscussions, even constructive conflict, surfaces notonly unspoken issues but also innovation. As webelieve, so shall we lead.

To leave our self-defeating behaviors behind, wemust use our conscious minds to undermine thedestructive but unconscious beliefs that cause us todefeat ourselves.

—Milton Cudney and Robert Hardy

Although we access Conscious Beliefs somewhat easily,Shadow Beliefs are subtler and much more challengingto uncover. Doing so, however, is crucial to highperformance. Taken from the Jungian concept ofshadow, Shadow Beliefs are those beliefs that aremanifestations of hidden, unexplored, or unresolvedpsychological dynamics. A Shadow Belief is cast whenwe don’t want to deal with something. When we hold

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onto a type of “secret,” a lack of awareness, we holdonto a Shadow Belief within us.

Personality can open doors. Only character can keepthem open.

—Elmer Letterman

We all have Shadow Beliefs. If we don’t think we do,then the shadow is probably operating at preciselythat moment by obscuring a view of a portion ofourselves. Jeffrey Patnaude, in his work Leading fromthe Maze, writes, “The leader must be awake and fullyalert. Like a nighttime traveler attuned to every soundin the forest, the leader must be aware of allpossibilities lurking in the shadows. For we can neitherchallenge nor transform what we cannot see.”

On a personal level, some of my Shadow Beliefs haveto do with exceptionally high standards for others andmyself. From a young age, I evaluated myself by thisexternal, often critical, yardstick. As a result, Ideveloped a series of Shadow Beliefs: “I’m never quitegood enough; I have to work twice as hard to bevalued; if something is not exceptional, it is notworthwhile; I am afraid to fail.” As you can see, thesebeliefs have some value. They have fueled a drive toachieve. On the other hand, some of these samebeliefs cast a shadow on my behavior and relationships

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at times. However, when I am actively committed tofostering my awareness of these shadows, I’ve beenable to shed some light on them and hopefullyminimize their limiting influence on others and me.

Transforming Shadow Beliefs to Conscious Beliefs iscrucial to Personal Mastery. This is not to say we don’tstruggle continually with them. We do. The differenceis we consciously engage them vs. unconsciously beingdriven by them. What happens to us if we don’t dealwith Shadow Beliefs? We pay a high price. Addictivebehaviors, difficulty in relationships, achievementoverdrive, imbalanced lifestyles, and health problemscan be some of the costs associated with them.Shadow Beliefs are not scary; not dealing with themis.

While I was coaching Steven, the president of amultibillion-dollar international firm based in LatinAmerica, a Shadow Belief that was limiting himsurfaced. Let me preface this story by explaining thatSteven was not referred to us because he had any“issues.” He was wildly successful in his current role.His consumer products firm was number one in rev-enue and market share globally for four consecutiveyears. In fact, it was his success that was starting tobe a problem for him. He had this nagging anxi-ety—“Can I continue to top my past achievements?”Each time we would explore future plans, he wouldconjure up all sorts of disaster scenarios. As I got to

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know him better, I understood that he had internal-ized a hidden belief that no matter how hard heworked or what he achieved, it could all go awaytomorrow. On one level this Shadow Belief servedhim well; it gave him the drive to achieve manygoals. However, because he wasn’t aware of it, hisfear of failure was actually inhibiting him fromrisking new experiences and new learning. It alsowas squeezing the life out of his team, which wastotally inconsistent with his values and intentions.Finally I asked Steven, “You don’t get it, do you?”Surprised, he looked at me and said, “Get what?”I responded, “Steven, look at your life. You succeedin all areas of your life: your career, your family,your relationships. What evidence do you have thatyou are going to fail at your next endeavor?” Itwas a defining moment for Steven. He saw theshadow and brought it into the light. He movedfrom trusting his fear to trusting his contributions.He brought a Shadow Belief into the ConsciousBelief arena. Before that moment he wasn’t awareof its presence. It had been controlling him, andnow he was beginning to take control of it. A fewmonths later, describing his experience, he said,“This one insight has opened a doorway for me. Ithas given me the peace of mind to trust myselfand to lead from who I am. I now know that nomatter what I attempt, I will make it a success,and if not, I will adapt, learn, and somehow makeit work.”

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REFLECTION

CONSCIOUS BELIEFS

Take a few minutes to explore some of yourConscious Beliefs—the self-conversations we havethat reveal what we hold to be true, important,and of value.

• What do you believe about yourself?

• What do you believe about other people?

• What do you believe about your teams?

• What do you believe about life?

• What do you believe is your impact or influenceon others?

• What do you believe about leadership?

SEVEN CLUES THAT BRINGSHADOW BELIEFS TO LIGHTHow often have you heard the expression that “anoverdeveloped strength can become a weakness”?Although there is truth to this statement, there is

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also a deeper underlying dynamic. Why do somestrengths turn into weaknesses? Usually because someShadow Belief is operating. Leaders either shed lightor cast a shadow on everything they do. The moreconscious the self-awareness, the more light leadersbring. The more limited the self-understanding, thebigger the shadow a leader casts. Let’s say we havea Shadow Belief that “we only have value if we aredoing and achieving.” If we are unaware of thisShadow Belief, our drive and determination will soonturn into workaholism and lack of intimacy, with pro-found negative implications for our health and relation-ships. Let’s say we have intelligence and self-confi-dence as strengths combined with a Shadow Beliefthat “we always have to be right.” Without sufficientawareness, our self-confidence will turn into arro-gance, abrasiveness, and self-righteousness. Hereare some other examples of how shadows can poten-tially turn strengths into weaknesses:

The ideal is in thyself; the impediment, too, is inthyself.

—Thomas Carlyle

WEAKNESS=SHADOW BELIEF+STRENGTH

Mania“I can never giveup.”Energy

Manipulation“I must succeed nomatter what.”Charm

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WEAKNESS=SHADOW BELIEF+STRENGTH

Compulsiveness“I can always dobetter.”Conscientiousness

Rigidity/Lack of Trust“I must know ev-ery detail to feelcomfortable.”

Focus

Foolhardiness“I must alwaysachieve more.”Courage

Narcissism/Self-Focus“I must always beseen as exception-al.”

Presence

Since our shadows are often hidden successfully fromour own view, how can we bring them to light? Overthe years, we’ve developed seven clues to indicate ifa shadow may be operating:

• Shadow Clue One: If other people often give usfeedback inconsistent with how we see ourselves,a shadow is present.

• Shadow Clue Two: When we feel stuck or blockedwith a real loss as to what to do next, a shadowis holding us back.

• Shadow Clue Three: As strengths become counter-productive, some hidden dynamics need to sur-face.

• Shadow Clue Four: When we are not open to newinformation, new learning, or other people’s views,a shadow is limiting us.

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• Shadow Clue Five: If we react to circumstanceswith emotional responses disproportionate tothe situation, we are right over the target ofa Shadow Belief.

• Shadow Clue Six: When we find ourselvesforcefully reacting to the limitations of othersin a critical, judgmental way, we are oftenprojecting our shadow onto others.

• Shadow Clue Seven: If we often experiencepain, trauma, or discomfort in our body, ashadow may be attempting to rise to the sur-face to seek reconciliation. Listen to the wis-dom of your body as you look to uncoverShadow Beliefs.

Craig, an executive I worked with, was caught inthe executive syndrome of “having it all together.”He feared that revealing any of his limitationswould result in others perceiving him as weak orinadequate. He also honestly believed othersdidn’t perceive his underdeveloped side. Aftersharing with him a 360° assessment revealinghow others saw his limitations even more clearlythan he did, the coaching process began. Fortu-nately, after he had experienced several monthsof coaching, a major business crisis surfaced. Herewas the perfect opportunity for Craig to practicewhat he had learned. Clearly, he had made some

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mistakes leading up to the crisis. Rather thancontinuing the old pattern, he faced the troops,acknowledged his mistakes, and asked for theirsupport. His co-workers were shocked and under-standably hesitant at first, but they admired hiscourage and stepped forward to solve the crisis.Commenting on his experience, he told me, “Ithought my power was in being right. Now I un-derstand my power is in being real.” PersonalMastery had begun.

What happens to us when we are around peoplewho are real and open about themselves, wartsand all? We trust them. Their authenticity, vulner-ability, and Personal Mastery have made themtrustworthy, and we rush to their side. Whenasked by Charlie Rose, “What’s the most impor-tant quality today for leadership?” HowardSchultz,[10] CEO of Starbucks, replied, “To displayvulnerability.” In his book Pour Your Heart intoIt, Schultz says, “Although they can hire execu-tives with many talents and skills, many CEOsdiscover that what they lack most is a reliablesounding board. They don’t want to show vulner-ability to those who report to them.” He advises,“Don’t be afraid to expose your vulnerabilities.Admit you don’t know what you don’t know. Whenyou acknowledge your weaknesses and ask foradvice, you’ll be surprised how much others willhelp.”

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Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be un-derstood.

—Marie Curie

Vulnerability, in the words of Terry Kellogg andMarvel Harrison, is “the gift I give to those I trust,when I trust myself.” A leader’s authenticity isrooted and grows in a field of self-trust.

LEADING WITH CHARACTER ...LEADING BY COPINGIf leadership from the inside-out is authentic influ-ence that creates value, how do we go about ex-pressing ourselves more authentically? Since theword authenticity comes from the same Greek rootas the word author, I’m sure no one would be sur-prised that authoring your own life does not have“ten easy steps.” Authenticity requires a lifelongcommitment to self-discovery and self-observation.However, in coaching leaders to develop more au-thentic dimensions of self, we have found somehelpful practices to bring out the essence of whowe are. When a leader approaches the question,“How authentic am I?” it is often helpful to asksome other questions first: “Where is my leadershipcoming from? Where are my beliefs and valuescoming from?” We need to consider constantly the

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origin of our leadership in various circumstances.Do our actions originate from deep within ourselves,or are they coming from a more superficial, limitedplace? Is our leadership serving only ourselves, ourcareer and success, or is it also focused on our teamand organization? Is our leadership arising from ourCharacter, the essence of who we are? Or, is it de-rived from a pattern of Coping, where we tend toreact to circumstances to elicit an immediate result?

Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow.The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is thereal thing.

—Abraham Lincoln

Some approaches to leadership are reactive, con-sume energy, and produce unsustainable or undesir-able results. Other approaches are transformative,add energy to the undertaking, and create valuefor the short and long term. The latter approachesderive from qualities of Character.

Character is the essence or core of the leader.Character is deeper and broader than any action orachievement; it springs from the essential natureof the person. Reflecting on this principle, RalphWaldo Emerson wrote, “This is what we call charac-

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ter, a reserved force which acts directly as presence,and without means.”

Character works to transform and open up possibilitiesand potential. When we are leading from our charac-ter, we exude qualities of authenticity, purpose,openness, trust, courage, congruence, and compas-sion. We have the ability to transform circumstances,open up possibilities, and create lasting value forourselves and for others.

Coping protects us and helps us get through challeng-ing circumstances. In this sense, it has value, and ifused sparingly and appropriately, will serve our needs.Coping works like a muscle. We need to use it attimes, but if we overuse it, the muscle will collapse.Qualities of Coping include concern for image, safety,security, comfort, or control. The Coping leader mayget results but also exhibit defensiveness, fear, with-drawal, or a desire to win at all costs. He or she mayexclude certain people or information.

Both approaches to leadership—leading with Characterand leading by Coping—can get results. It is importantto note that Coping is not in itself bad and may beneeded in certain situations. For leadership, however,Character is a much better master, and Coping is amuch better servant. For example, image may be acomponent of leadership, which can create influenceand value when it is aligned with messages delivered

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from the leader’s deeper values. On the other hand,image may be used to manipulate messages in anattempt to compensate for a leader’s insecurity, andthis may lead to devastating results.

Both Character and Coping are present in most lead-ership situations. However, we need to ask ourselves,“Which one is my master and which one is my ser-vant?” When we make Character the master of ourleadership and Coping the servant, we move towardbetter relationships and lasting value creation.

QUALITIES OF CHARACTER ANDCOPINGAs leaders it is essential to learn how to build ourawareness of when we are being guided by Characterand when we are being guided by Coping. The follow-ing information illustrates some of the behaviors thatindicate whether we are in a Character pattern or ina Coping pattern.

COPING REACTSCHARACTER TRANSFORMS

Deals with Circumstances and SpendsEnergy

Opens up Possibilities and MultipliesEnergy

GUIDED BY:GUIDED BY:

Image/RecognitionAuthenticity

Safety/Security/ComfortPurpose

ControlOpenness

FearTrust

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COPING REACTSCHARACTER TRANSFORMS

Concern for SelfBalanced Concern for Self andOthers

AvoidanceCourage

ExclusionInclusion

Win-LoseWin-Win

AngerBalance/Centeredness

Resistance to ChangeAgility/Resilience

Uneasy PresencePeaceful Presence

Circumstance Is Bigger Than theLeader

Leader Is Bigger Than Circum-stance

Let’s explore three examples:

1. Image vs. Authenticity: When we care a bittoo much how we look to others and we focus ongetting their approval, acknowledgement, or ac-ceptance, our leadership may be guided by anImage Coping pattern. We are in this image per-sona: when we try too hard to “look great”; whenwe present ourselves as more than we are; whenwe misrepresent values, beliefs, or other informa-tion to win acceptance. Recently, I was coachingthe CEO of a firm and one of his key executives.Although the CEO needed to work on a few crucialgrowth areas, authenticity was not one of them.The key executive in his organization, howeverunknowingly, was caught up in her image. At acritical point in one of their interactions as thekey executive was overanalyzing all the political

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implications of an important decision, the CEOcalmly and compassionately asked, “Michelle, doyou want to look good, or do you want to makea difference?” Michelle fell silent. Of course shewanted to make a difference. She needed some-one to shock her out of investing herself totallyin Coping and into shifting her awareness toleading from Character. In The Corporate Mystic,Gay Hendricks and Kate Ludeman reinforce thispractice: “It is as important to challenge peopleabout their personas as it is to love and cherishtheir true essence. In the business world it isdangerous to ignore people’s personas. Genuinelycaring for people means seeing them as they are,not blithely overlooking fatal flaws.”

2. Safety, Security, and Comfort vs. Purpose:If our actions are principally guided by safety,security, and comfort, we are in a Coping pattern.This is a big one for most of us. It is also subtle.We are usually unaware of how staying safe isactually limiting us from new experiences andpossibilities. How often have most of us thought,“When I build up enough assets, then I’ll go dowhat I really want to do?” This is the voice ofCoping. In the executive ranks this can be a ma-jor issue. As senior executives seek to becomemore comfortable financially and otherwise, dothey continue to risk innovative, meaningful, out-of-the-box initiatives? Often they do not. Or,

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worse yet, do we postpone our real purpose andcontribution for that magical future moment whenwe will be safe and secure enough to fully expressourselves?

I was working with a senior marketing executive whowas caught in this Coping pattern. The first day Imet Jack he told me he had lost his passion for hiswork and was preparing to leave his organization toseek a new career. After spending some time togeth-er, he shared his career-life vision: to accumulateassets in order to replace his current income and infive years start his own business. On the surface itsounded all right. As we went deeper, however, itbecame apparent that he had sacrificed his purposeon the altar of security and comfort. Driven by hisneed to accumulate money in an attempt to build hisinner sense of security, he had gradually lost touchwith what really gave him meaning: using his creativ-ity and insight to help others achieve their potential.Once Jack reconnected to his purpose, he returnedto his work with renewed passion and perspective.

When we are caught up in Coping, we seek solutionsoutside ourselves like changing a job, changing acareer, accumulating enough money to feel secure,or changing a relationship. Too often we seek solu-tions in “Whats” instead of “Hows.” Jack needed tore-learn how to show up in his life in a renewed way.

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He learned how to be clear about his purpose and tolead with his Character.

Character also means putting the greater good ofthe organization and society ahead of self-interest.It’s about worrying about “what is right” rather than“who is right.”

—Noel Tichy and Warren Bennis

3. Control vs. Openness: If our energies are ab-sorbed in having our world conform to our will witha desire to avoid nearly all surprise, then we areleading from a place of Coping. This is particularlychallenging if we are moving from managerial toleadership roles in an organization. Managers controlby virtue of their doing. Leaders lead by virtue oftheir being. When we are rapidly alternating betweenmanagement and leadership, as is often the case,the relationship between control and openness is aconstant dynamic.

Tracy, a senior-level executive for an internationalservice firm, was clearly operating in a Control Copingpattern. It was actually her “winning formula.” Sheviewed herself as an exceptionally competent person,and by all external measures she was. Based on aseries of outstanding achievements in sales andmarketing, she had been on the fast track in her

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company. She was known for always exceeding theneed. If the organization wanted something doneexceptionally well, Tracy was the one recruited forthe job. Some would say she had mastered herprofession—maybe even mastered some aspects ofher external environment. But her external successwas not based on internal mastery. Her obsessiveneed to control everything around her had createdstrain in all her relationships. Her marriage wasn’tsurviving her need to control. Her children weregrowing distant. Her friendships were suffering. Themore Tracy’s life started to spin out of control, themore she tried to assert control. Without understand-ing why, she gradually drove away nearly everyonearound her. For many years, her external compe-tence had been sufficient to help Tracy to face herlife and career demands. However, her new life andleadership demands involved competence of a differ-ent order.

Tracy was a great example of the managers identi-fied in the Brousseau,[11] Hourihan, et al. researchstudy cited earlier in this chapter. Tracy was aleader whose take-charge, task-focused style workedwell up to a point in her career. Unwilling to pausefor awareness and growth, she could easily havebecome among those executives whose careers hitthe wall and got stuck, falling short of their potential.

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Before Tracy could move to the next stage of herleadership and life effectiveness, she needed to ac-cess a platform of internal competence and charac-ter. It took a few months of coaching. She was resis-tant and closed at first, but slowly she came to therealization that her excessive need to control wasbased on a Shadow Belief. She had come to believethat just being herself and trusting that things wouldwork out was not an option for her. At a crucial pointin our coaching she said, “If I stopped controllingeverything, my life would fall apart!” The instant shesaid it, the paradox hit her with full force. Her lifewas falling apart because she was so controlling.Yet, she felt that control was her only savior. Overtime, she gained the Personal Mastery to begintrusting and to be more open to change. As her self-trust and openness grew, Tracy’s ability to trust andto appreciate others grew as well. She had begunleading with Character.

REFLECTION

CHARACTER AND COPING

Take some time to review the rest of the qualitiesthat guide Character and Coping under the sectionentitled

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• Which of these qualities are most prevalent foryou?

• What is going on in those times?

• How do you feel?

• What fears, limitations, or inadequacies do youavoid when you are in a Coping pattern?

• How can you challenge yourself to move out ofCoping and into Character more often?

Now, reflect on the qualities of Character, andconsider these questions.

• Which of these qualities are more prevalent foryou?

• What is going on in those times?

• How do you feel?

• What fears do you have to face to lead fromCharacter?

• How can you continue to lead from Character inmore situations in the future?

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As we have seen, Character transforms whereasCoping tends to be more of a reactive, survival mode.When we are in a Coping pattern, we tend to see theproblems of life as existing outside ourselves. We sayto ourselves, “If I could only change this person orthat situation, then everything would be fine.” Butlife’s problems are rarely resolved by only changingthe external situation. Lasting solutions involve dealingwith our internal situation in order to transform theexternal circumstance. To illustrate this principle,imagine Nelson Mandela several years ago saying, “Ithink I need to leave South Africa. The situation hereis just too big a problem. These people just don’t getit. I need to go to a more comfortable, accommodatingcountry.” It sounds humorous even to imagine thisscenario with a person of so much Character. WhenCharacter and purpose are weak, then our initialCoping response is usually to leave or escape oursituation. When purpose is strong, leaders transformmany of the circumstances they encounter. Obviously,there may be times when we need to leave or walkaway from a situation for self-preservation. However,if our first response is consistently to exit challengingcircumstances, then we probably need to work onleaning into Character more often.

It’s important to note that Personal Mastery is notabout eliminating Coping. It is about increasingCharacter to such a degree that Character is primaryand Coping is secondary. Coping exists for a rea-

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son—to protect us and to deal with stressful situa-tions—so, we really don’t want to eliminate itcompletely. It serves a purpose. We do want to favorCharacter so that this more substantial way to leadbecomes the master of our behavior more often. Tohave Character supporting Coping—the inner support-ing the outer—is the goal of Personal Mastery.

Leading with Character is not easy. The CEO of arapidly growing firm shared this comment with me:“I hate to admit it, but most organizations rewardCoping. We talk about Character, but we rewardCoping. We extol the values of trust, inclusion, andadding value, but we consistently reward control andimage. Most of us are unwilling to do the hard workand to take the personal risk to lead from Character.”

Unfortunately, executive coaching programs oftenreinforce refining Coping rather than fosteringCharacter. Executives are coached how to act insteadof how to be. It’s a charm-school process thatproduces only superficial, short-term results.Executives are “coached” to polish the exterior, butrarely does any real substantial and sustained growthtake place. Under sufficient stress, all the old patternsreturn.

Corporate Mystics develop a kind of double vision,at once able to see the mask and the essential

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person inside.... They know that we all have per-sonas that are wrapped around our true essence,but they also know that we are not our personas.

—Gay Hendricks and Kate Ludeman

To be effective, executive coaching needs to buildawareness of the limiting aspects of Coping behaviorsso that Character can be primary and Coping sec-ondary. Penetrating Coping mechanisms to allowCharacter to come forth requires sophisticatedcoaching that deals with the whole person.

UNDERSTANDING OUR OWNER’SMANUALMany of us know more about our favorite vacationspot, sports team, or running shoes than we do aboutourselves. In order to break out of old patterns andgrow as a whole person, we need to answer the “Whoam I?” question. As we take on this question, we mayget snickers from our own internal critic. Or, we mayreturn with a quick answer that superficially reflectsthe roles we play vs. who we really are.

The other day I sat down with a CEO for an initialcoaching session. With a bit of nervous bravado theexecutive proclaimed, “Kevin, you know, I knowmyself pretty well.” Honestly, I’ve been in situations

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like this so many times I envisioned a subtitle acrosshis chest that read, “He doesn’t know himself verywell at all.” On the other hand, when I meet withsomeone who admits, “You know, I understand someaspects of myself, but others are still a mystery tome,” then my envisioned subtext says, “This personknows himself pretty well.” Perhaps the reason mostpeople think they know themselves well is that theirexperience of their inner world is restricted to verynarrow boundaries. Few people would admit thatthey know everything outside themselves. We allunderstand how unfathomable external knowledgeand information is. We see the external world ashuge. Our inner life, however, is defined too oftenin a very restricted way. When we get on the pathto Personal Mastery, we begin to glimpse how deep,broad, and unbounded our inner life really is. Whenpeople casually say, “I know myself,” all too oftenthey are really saying, “I know my limited state ofself-knowledge.” There are no limits within us. Thereis no end to Personal Mastery. It is bigger, deeper,and grander than the external world we think is sovast. Begin your journey by considering life’s bigquestions: “Who are you? Where are you headed?Why are you going there?” That darn soldier justcrossed our path again, didn’t he?

The wisest mind has something yet to learn.

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—George Santayana

Personal Mastery is about comprehending the vehi-cle, our character, that brings us to our destination.There’s just one problem: We’ve temporarily lostthe “owner’s manual.” It’s like buying a high perfor-mance sports car without learning how to drive it.Sure we know how to drive, but we just don’t under-stand how to drive that vehicle. How are we evergoing to arrive safely at our desired destinationwhen we don’t understand that taking a curve at 65miles an hour on a wet road at midnight with acertain suspension system is an invitation for disas-ter? That’s exactly how many leaders lead—barrelingdown the freeway of life without any real masteryof their owner’s manual. So how can we start tounderstand our owner’s manual? How can we beginto uncover our identity and maneuver this “vehicle”?The following reflection will help you get on the path.But remember, no one else can give you this insight.You must give it to yourself. This is the beginningof the process.

REFLECTION

CLARIFYING OUR STRENGTHS AND GROWTH AR-EAS

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Take your time. Be thoughtful. The questions aredesigned to be thought-provoking, so don’t rushthrough them. Read all the questions first, and beginthe exercise by answering the ones that come easi-est. Use a notepad to sketch out longer responses.

1. Imagine yourself observing a dear friend talkingabout you with heartfelt love and admiration. Whatwould your friend be saying?

2. When you are energized and inspired, what par-ticular personality traits or strengths are beingexpressed by you?

3. What are some of your Conscious Beliefs aboutyourself?

4. What are you most afraid of?

5. When you are leading with Character, whatqualities come forth? Do certain situations inhibit orexpress your character more?

6. When you are leading by Coping, what qualitiescome forth? What beliefs or fears are generatingthese states of mind or emotion?

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7. When during your life have you felt most com-pletely yourself—not meeting others’ expectations,but just being centered in expressing who you are?

8. What steps can you take in your life to createmore times like this?

9. What do other people consistently tell you thatyou need to work on or develop? What new behaviorare you committed to practicing?

10. What is your unique value proposition as aleader? If you were a brand, what brand of leader-ship would you be?

11. What do you hope people will thank you forcontributing at the end of your life?

12. If you witnessed your funeral, what do you hopethe eulogy would say?

As we will continue to explore throughout this book,Personal Mastery is not a recent phenomenon; it isimbedded in the nature of the human experience.Nearly all significant systems of human developmentthrough the ages have valued it. More contemporarythinkers like Warren Bennis, Stephen Covey DanielGoleman, Peter Senge, Richard Leider, and so manyothers have recognized its value-creating influence.

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Many human development systems like client-cen-tered therapy cognitive behavioral coaching, rational-emotive therapy, adult learning theory, transformativelearning, NLP, Landmark Forum, humanistic coaching,and psychodynamic coaching certainly align with whatwe have been discussing. Many of these methodolo-gies could be helpful on your journey to PersonalMastery. An excellent article by John Passmore[12]in Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Re-search, March 2007, connects many of these ap-proaches to coaching and development.

EIGHT POINTS FOR PERSONALMASTERYKeep in mind the following principles as you beginto master your ability to lead with more awarenessand authenticity.

1. Take Total Responsibility: Commit yourself tothe path of Personal Mastery. Only you can committo it, and only you can walk your own path to it. Noone else can motivate you. No one else can do it foryou. A mentor cannot do it for you. Your organizationor clients cannot do it for you. As Hermann Hessewrote in Demian, “Each man had only one genuinevocation—to find the way to himself.” Personal Mas-tery is the one life experience we must give our-selves. No one else is “in the loop.” Walt Whitman

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wrote, “Not I—not anyone else—can travel that roadfor you; you must learn to travel it for yourself.”

No matter what life or leadership challenges we face,no matter what circumstances we encounter; we areresponsible. As we advance, we notice that we aremore self-validated, self-recognized, self-trusting. Aswe increasingly assume responsibility for the life weare creating, we are prepared to assume responsibil-ity for leading others. The foundation of genuineleadership is built with self-leadership, self-responsi-bility and self-trust.

2. Bring Beliefs to Conscious Awareness: Committo the process of clarifying your Conscious Beliefsand your Shadow Beliefs. Practice by pausing to re-flect on how some of these beliefs open you up andhow others close you down. Practice reinforcing theones that open up possibilities and energize you, aswell as others. Reconsider the ones that limit possi-bilities and drain energy. Remind yourself of thePersonal Mastery mantra: “As you believe, so shallyou lead.”

3. Develop Awareness of Character and Coping:Develop an awareness of when you are leading withthe qualities of Character and when you are beingled by the qualities of Coping. Instead of overinvest-ing in Coping, commit your energies to leading withCharacter. Doing so requires that you courageously

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examine the beliefs, fears, and limitations generatingthe qualities of Coping. Facing these limiting filterswill free up energy to experience new learning fromthe outside, as well as to express new potentialityfrom within. Transform your approach to leading bymaking Character the master and Coping the servant.

The leader for today and the future will be focusedon how to be—how to develop quality, character,mind-set, values, principles, and courage.

—Frances Hesselbein

4. Practice Personal Mastery with Others: Practic-ing Personal Mastery requires risk and vulnerability.It means placing ourselves in situations where wemay not be accepted or validated by others for whowe are or what we think or believe. If we do not takethis risk, we too often will be led by the expectationsof others. As a result, we might unknowingly compro-mise our integrity. As you practice Personal Masterywith others, keep these thoughts in mind:

Leadership and learning are indispensable to eachother.

—John F. Kennedy

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• Listen to your authentic inner voice for what youreally think and feel vs. what others want you tothink and feel.

• Be mindful when “creating” others in your image.

• Be mindful when “being created” by others in theirimage.

• Practice the strength of vulnerability; notice howit opens up relationships and teams.

• Be aware when you are wasting too much timeand energy judging others and trying to changethem.

• Be there for people when they need you. Be therenot only for the purpose of giving advice or beingappreciated for your support but also just to givethe gift of your presence.

• Practice sharing your genuine thoughts, feelings,joys, successes, concerns, and fears with people.Let your openness be the catalyst to open up theculture around you.

5. Listen to Feedback: Even though Personal Masteryis self-validating, sometimes other people hold keysto our self-knowledge. As Edith Wharton wrote, “Thereare two ways of spreading light; to be the candle or

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the mirror that reflects it.” How often have we resist-ed the input of others only to realize later that theircomments were right on target? Is it possible theirinsights were greater than we were prepared to as-similate at the time? Rather than spending our energydefending a rigid state of self-awareness, we canthink of Personal Mastery as a continuous, lifelong,learning process. Life experiences are opportunitiesto learn and to develop. Colleagues are there tocoach and mentor. Consider all input from others aspotentially instructive. Those around us may beholding the torches to light our path to PersonalMastery. Personal Mastery involves the delicateparadox of being open to learning from otherswithout allowing ourselves to be unduly created bythem.

6. Consider Finding a Coach: There is nothing“wrong” with getting support. In fact, recent studieshave shown that companies now use coaching 75percent of the time to optimize performance vs.“fixing” problems. Having a coach as your partnerduring your growth process might be the most “right”thing you ever do. You might be pleasantly surprisedto know how much an objective, experienced coachcan accelerate your personal and leadership progress.Coaching can free self-awareness and facilitate somehelpful directions for growth. Be sure to take sometime to find the best coach for you. Initially, experi-ence personal sessions with a few people. Share

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your story. Then, gauge your chemistry and valuesconnections with each potential coach, as well as hisor her experience level with your type of situation.Quality professional support can offer a significantgrowth experience; is a time to be yourself and toget clarity. It is an opportunity to explore new waysto live and to lead.

7. Avoid Confusing Self-Delusion with Self-Awareness: In a survey of business executivespublished in Business Week, August 2007,[13] exec-utives were asked, “Are you in the top 10 percent ofleadership performance?” Their responses: 90 percentsaid yes. Hmmm. Someone has to be wrong here!Self-assessment can be the least accurate leadershipassessment. To remedy this, use grounded, validatedassessments with a solid research history to ensurethat your growing self-awareness is real. Using instru-ments like Decision Styles, Voices® , Choices® ,Hogan®, Myers Briggs Type Indicator® , CaliforniaPsychological Inventory® (CPI 260), andZenger/Folkman®, among others, can accelerateyour accurate self-awareness. Auditing your self-as-sessments against these research-based assessmentscan challenge your personal growth to new levels.However, be aware that no one tool can capture yourentire profile. Assessment instruments can be veryhelpful only as part of your overall personal masterygrowth process. Be sure to have at least one toolthat is inside-out (personality, values, or preferences

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assessments) and one that is outside-in (i.e., 360°assessment).

8. Be Agile: Sometimes the strengths that helpedyou lead in your present state of development mayhamper your future chances of success. You may recallthe news photos of Karl Wallenda’s final high-wireperformance as he attempted to cross between twotall buildings. As he made his way on the wire, usinghis famous balancing pole, an intense wind came up.Everyone watching immediately understood Wallenda’sdilemma. As the wind blew him off the wire, heclutched onto his balancing pole. All he needed to dowas to let go of the pole and grab the wire. Butbecause the pole had saved his balance so many timesbefore, he held onto it even as he fell to the ground.He held onto what he knew best even when it nolonger served him. Understand and appreciate yourstrengths, but also be flexible and adaptable. Manystrong winds may be coming your way.

LEADERSHIP GROWTH PLAN

PERSONAL MASTERY

It’s time to step back. Shift out of “I’m reading abook” mode. Instead of treating this book as aninteresting intellectual exercise, sit back and capturesome insights and commitments that can make a

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genuine difference in your life and in your leader-ship. Pause to identify some areas to build Aware-ness, Commitment, and Practice. (For more onbuilding Awareness, Commitment, and Practice, seeAction Mastery.) Aim high. Also, note potentialobstacles and success measures. As you do this,keep asking yourself, “What will really make adifference to enhance my authenticity and aware-ness?”

1. Areas for Building Awareness:

• _____

• _____

• _____

2. New Commitments to Make:

• _____

• _____

• _____

3. New Practices to Begin:

• _____

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• _____

• _____

4. Potential Obstacles:

• _____

• _____

• _____

5. Timeline and Measures of Success:

• _____

• _____

• _____

LEADERSHIP GROWTH PLAN

PERSONAL MASTERY EXAMPLE

1. Areas to Build Awareness: Image and controlare more prevalent than I thought; need to buildawareness of my self-limiting belief regarding“never achieving/doing enough.”

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2. New Commitments to Make:

A. Move from control to trust to let others partici-pate more.

B. Let go of some of my image needs.

C. Explore my need to do so much.

3. New Practices to Begin:

A. Do 360° feedback.

B. Find a coach.

C. Get colleague and spouse participation/feed-back.

4. Potential Obstacles:

A. Fear of change.

B. Fear of failure if I change things too much.

C. Will colleagues and the organization acceptchanges?

5. Timeline and Measures of Success:

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A. In three months, have people acknowledge thatI am less controlling and more trusting.

B. In six months, have several people notice that Iam dropping my image and being more authentic.

C. In one month, get home before 6:30P.M., fournights a week.

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