lake murray life magazine - january 2016

www.lakemurraylife.com January/February 2016 | LaKe Murray LIFe | 1

2 | LaKe Murray LIFe | January/February 2016 www.lakemurraylife.com

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Features10 Marching in Harmony16 “I Got This!” An Update on Jack Enright19 Real Change Tom Barbian, Ph.D

Columns8 Faith Matters Steve Musto21 David Clark Better Than Cake

DePartMeNts3 From the Publisher5 Events7 Lake Murray Leaders23 Spice of Life Healthy New Year!

Publisher & editor-in-ChiefTodd Shevchik

[email protected]

direCtor of salesDonna [email protected]

editor/ProduCtion ManagerKatie Gantt

[email protected]

assoCiate editor/aCCount exeCutiveKristi antley

[email protected]

aCCount exeCutiveTracy Tuten

[email protected]

editorial Consultantallison Caldwell

graPhiC designJane CarterKim Curlee

Website designerPaul Tomlinson

Contributing WritersJackie Perrone, Katie Gantt, Marilyn Thomas, Tom

barbian, Ph.D.

INSIDE the ISSUE

10

L to R: Kristi Antley, Katie Gantt, Todd Shevchik, Tracy Tuten, Kim Curlee. Front: Donna Shevchik.

EDITORfrom the

A couple of days ago I received an updated credit card in the mail. The expiration date read 11/20. It took a second for the date to register in my brain. Two thou-sand twenty — holy cow! Yes it is only 2016, but seeing that 20 on the credit card really made me reflect on my past, present and future.

I turn 45 this month. I don’t know the “stars” that appear on late night talk shows anymore. Heck, I didn’t know who more than half the “celebrity” dancers were on this past season of Dancing with the Stars. I don’t think my daughter believed me when I asked her who they were. In today’s world, apparently, a lot of YouTube views and Vine hits are what constitutes a star. As I age, pop culture has lost almost all significance and rele-vance to me.

My weight seems to be growing in proportion to the candles on the cake. I’m trying to focus more on exer-cise and healthy food choices these days.

Some of my friends and neighbors have recently be-come empty nesters as their full-grown “kids” head to college and the workforce to start their own lives. I’ve been surprised to learn that many “senior” living com-munities, like Hulon Greene in West Columbia, allow residents who are only 50 years old to live there. For those of you keeping score, I will be eligible for residen-cy in a half decade. Whoa!

As I look back on 2015, I’ve learned more about my-self than any other year of existence. What about you? I recently learned that some readers don’t like pictures of Santa brandishing a weapon, although his Constitu-tional rights make for interesting fodder. Most impor-tantly though, I realized that my kids pay attention to every single thing I do. When all is said and done, they are my legacy — God’s precious gifts entrusted to me to love, educate, and care for. When they leave the nest, I pray they are healthy, well-balanced individuals who shine their light to the world for many years to come.

Happy New Year, and thanks for reading!


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Saturday, January 9Palmetto Health’s Walk for Life/Race for LifeFinlay Park, ColumbiaTraditionally held in October, this event was temporarily postponed due to the floods. Celebrate 25 years of Palmetto Health Breast Center’s treatment of breast cancer with a 10K race or 5K run/walk. Visit Events.Palmetto-HealthFoundation.org.

Fri-Sun, January 8-10Shrek Jr. The Musical – ICRC Children’s TheatreHarbison Theatre at Midlands Technical CollegeEveryone’s favorite ogre is back in the hilari-ous stage spectacle based on the Oscar-win-ning DreamWorks Animation hit film. Part romance and part twisted fairy tale, Shrek Jr. is an irreverently fun show for the entire fam-ily. $6/adults; $4/children; 3 & Under/free on lap. For show times and tickets, call Crooked Creek Park 803-345-6181, Seven Oaks Park 803-772-3336, or Saluda Shoals Park 803-772-1228. Shows can sell out; advanced tick-et purchase is recommended.

Thu-Sat, January 14-16Home & Lifestyle ShowState Fairgrounds, Cantey BuildingThis brand new event presented by the Building Industry Association of Central SC will feature homebuilders, remodelers and other professionals. Free admission. Colum-biaBuilders.com/Events.

Friday, January 22Strings and SalsaHarbison Theatre at Midlands Technical College, 7:30-9:00 p.m.Blending live salsa dancing with traditional Cuban music, orchestral string arrangements and Latino-pop variations on modern hits, this interactive, energetic performance will have everyone dancing in the aisles! Harbi-sonTheatre.org.

Saturday, January 23Red Shoe RunShandon Neighborhood, ColumbiaJoin Ronald McDonald House Charities of Columbia for the 10th Annual Red Shoe Run! Race day registration: 6:30 a.m. at Hand Mid-dle School. The 10K will start at 8:00 a.m., 5K at 8:15 a.m. Register before January 4 to guar-antee your race gift! StrictlyRunning.com.

Saturday, January 23Wednesday, January 27Do-It-Yourself Lawn Care Workshop Wingard’s Nursery, 10:00 a.m.January is the perfect time to begin planning for the perfect Spring lawn! If you don’t know what kind of grass you have, dig up a plug and bring it with you. $10 registration in-cludes a $10 coupon good for any purchase the day of the workshop. WingardsNurs-ery.com or 359-9091.

Saturday, January 30Pruning Crape Myrtles & RosesWingard’s Nursery, 10:00 a.m.Learn how to properly prune crape myrtle and roses, which should be pruned in January or February (no lat-er than Valentine’s Day). $10 registra-tion includes a $10 coupon good for any purchase the day of the workshop. WingardsNursery.com or 359-9091.

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Submit your event info 5 weeks in advance to [email protected] will be included as space permits.



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A marching band, by definition, does not sit or stand still. They master their in-struments while moving to the beat at ball games, parades, festivals, and anywhere else their peppy music is wanted. If they’re a band led by Chapin’s Jim Mills, they won’t be surprised to find themselves marching in London in the shadow of Big Ben, or down the boulevard in Edinburgh, Scotland. This legendary band director has taken his musicians to big events through the U.S. and Europe. Standing still is not an option.

Little “Jimmy” Mills was blowing a baritone horn by the time he was 10 years old, growing up in Sumter and responding to the leadership of the school music programs at Crosswell Drive Elementary, McLaurin Jr. High, and Edmunds High. Long before enrolling at the University of South Carolina, he knew that a life with music and teaching was his calling. He earned Bachelors and Masters degrees in Music Education there, and served as a band director in Columbia with Richland District One before entering the military. As a U.S. Army bandsman, Jimmy attained the rank of Sergeant E-5.

Richland-Lexington District Five found him in 1973, and for 25 years the Sumter native led school band programs to award-winning levels. His march-ing bands consistently received Superior ratings, finished among the top five in their state classification 22 times, and twice were State Champions. The Chapin High School marching band participated in the Lord Mayor of West-minster’s Parade in London in 1991, and again in 1997. The symphonic band traveled to festivals in a half-dozen cities, and in 1995 took Best in Class honors at the Toronto Music Festival as well as the Grand Championship Award.

Those who have chaperoned a handful of teenagers on a school trip may stand in awe of the band director who takes 80 high schoolers along with their escorts to Europe — and calls it fun. “We’ve been on trips to London, Paris, Am-sterdam, Prague, Scotland, Ireland, Austria, Germany, and Hungary. It was fun. I run a tight ship, and the band members are a pleasure to have along.”

After retiring from the public school system, Jim Mills taught for four years at Heathwood Hall Episcopal School in Columbia. He currently serves as a repre-sentative for Star Music Company in the Midlands, but still finds ways to “beat the band.” He claims the title of the originator of the Five Points Wild Irish Marching Band, is in his third year as director of the Sumter Com-munity Concert Band, and still finds time to direct the Columbia Summer Band. He was named Grand Mar-shal of the Veterans Day Pa-rade in 2013.

His wife Vicki taught fourth grade for 22 years; now she joins her hus-band in the community and more distant band activities. Both sing in their church choir at Lake Murray Presbyterian. They have two adult children, Brian and Ashleigh, and three grands. n

Lake Murrayby Jackie Perrone

LEADER

Jim Mills


Never give up on your dreams. You have likely heard, read or even said some variation of that sentiment more than a few times. Books are written, movies made and careers launched with that singular premise as a kind of guiding mantra. It’s catchy. It’s in-spirational. It’s also sometimes terrible advice.

It’s not that we should avoid goals we have set for ourselves or give up on a career path in which we show promise. By all means, finish school, save for retirement and keep practicing that eupho-nium! It’s just that we are fickle creatures and our dreams have a tendency to change as we age, mature and reprioritize. It was when I had kids that I finally realized why my parents couldn’t support my life dream at age 15 of being a roadie for Guns N’ Ros-es. For some reason, they thought I was not setting my objectives quite high enough.

I don’t know about you, but most of my dreams tend to be self-ish: big houses, big money, big vacations, big success and a small waistline. These things are not bad or wrong, they are just me-fo-cused — my comfort, my security, my leisure, my appearance. It is worth noting that in the Bible, it is the people who gave up on their own dreams who did more than they could ever dream.

Abraham had a good thing going in a country called Ur. Ar-chaeologists tell us it was rich, fertile and a well-advanced soci-ety. Then God asked him to give it up to be a wandering nomad. God’s dream for him was to found the nation of Israel.

Moses was an Egyptian prince with the world before him be-fore going into self-imposed exile. Then he established another life complete with a wife, kids, a great extended family and wealth before God tapped him on the shoulder. God’s dream for him was to have the kind of adventure they make movies about.

Ruth was a newly married woman living in her home country with a supportive family until her husband died and her country entered a devastating drought. God’s dream for her was to move to Israel and become the great-grandmother of David, the great-est king in Israel’s history. Oh, and also an ancestor of Jesus.

After being plucked from a field in a no-name backwater berg in Israel, David himself was anointed king of the whole nation. But first God wanted to season him, so David ran for his life for years from his mentally unstable predecessor. God’s dream for him was to lead Israel with justice and to lay the foundation for the building of the temple of Jerusalem.

Mary and Joseph, Jesus’ disciples and the Apostle Paul all abandoned what they wanted in exchange for a future that was grander and more meaningful than they could imagine.

If none of these folks had given up on their own dreams, it is doubtful we would even know their names, much less their stories. When God has a plan for your life, your dreams are abso-lutely worth exchanging for His. n

Pastor steve Mustoeast lake Community Church10057 broad river rd., [email protected]

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Kevin Hebert is in his sixth year as Di-rector of Bands at Chapin High School, and can proudly say that his band is the Class 3A State Champion for the second consecutive year! Hebert is a graduate of the University of South Carolina, where he earned his Bachelor of Music Educa-tion degree. He is also a current member of the Palmetto Concert Band and Caro-lina Wind Symphony.

This year’s marching band show theme was The Silk Road. The music was Middle Eastern, and represented the goods that traveled across the “Silk Road” from China to the Middle East. This year’s show was not prop heavy, but did feature beautiful digitally print-ed screens in the front of the field that matched some of the color guard’s flags in other parts of the show. The most unique thing about the show was the solo cello player, which is unusual to see in a marching band.

The 2015 season was shortened all across the Midlands due to the heavy rains and flooding. Chapin didn’t escape this fate, and missed the first two con-

tests of the season. Their first competi-tion ended up being the Western Caroli-na Tournament of Champions.

“It was daunting,” remembers He-bert. “The stadium was packed. While we normally compete against bands in our same class, we competed against bands of all sizes in this competition.” They came in eighth place as one of the smallest bands in the finals, with 96 members. To put it into perspective, the first place winners had over 300 band members.

Their next competition was the Low-er State Championships at Charleston Southern University, where they swept the competition and took in first place overall and in every category. They went on to win the 3A State Championship, making their school and their communi-ty exceptionally proud!

“We had a lot of challenges due to the weather, and it was really neat to see the kids pull through and be as successful as they were,” says Hebert. Under his di-rection, the Chapin bands have received multiple awards and accomplishments. The Jazz Ensemble has received Superi-or ratings at the State Jazz Festival every year for the past five years. The March-ing Band has been State Champions two out of the last three years, and Lower State Champions four out of the last five years. The Concert and Symphonic Bands consistently receive Superior rat-ings at Concert Festival, and the Sym-phonic Band was selected to play a clinic at the SC Music Educators Association Conference in 2014.

Hebert credits much of the success to hard work, teamwork, and good attitudes from the students and staff. A faithful booster club is also key. “Our booster club works year round, constantly fund-raising, organizing events, building props and repairing instruments,” Hebert says. “They do pretty much everything, and they’re awesome. We also work a lot with Irmo High School. We’re doing our spring concert over at Irmo, and a lot times we’ll do a concert with them.”

Hebert encourages readers to attend their spring concert, to be held on May 10 at the Irmo Auditorium. Their Jazz and Percussion concerts are on May 9, also at the Irmo Auditorium. n

HigH ScHool BandS | Marching in harMony

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“We had a lot of challenges due to the weather,

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Paul Clayton, Director of Bands at Dutch Fork High School, says: “It’s nev-er about winning trophies. I try to teach my students to always outperform them-selves and no one else. We have one goal on competition Saturdays, and that is to perform better than last time.”

Clayton is in his second year at Dutch Fork and previously taught middle and high school band at King’s Academy, a private school in Florence. After that he spent two years at Andrew Jackson Mid-dle and High schools in Kershaw. He earned a Bachelor of Music with an em-phasis in Education from the University of South Carolina, and plays the French horn in the Palmetto Concert Band.

Dutch Fork’s 2015 show theme was The Greatest Generation. Echoing senti-ments from across the Midlands, Clay-ton says that this year was a little odd due to the flood, which forced the can-celation of two competitions and many practices. Once competition season resumed, they competed at the Blythe-wood Tournament of Bands and placed first in Visual Execution, Overall Effect and in their class. “Despite the obstacles of the flood, the Silver Spirit Marching Band had its best year to date,” Clayton says. “The band placed sixth overall at State Finals. This is the highest the band has placed in a very long time.”

The spring holds a lot of hard work and excitement for the band as well. The concert band is taking a trip to Disney World, where they will get to record a Disney animation. The Symphonic

Winds will be performing the first four movements of The Planets by Gutav Holst in their spring concert this year, May 10 at 7:00 p.m. in the Dutch Fork High School Auditorium.

Clayton extends special congratu-lations to senior trumpet player Nick Gustafson, who earned a spot in the Na-tional Honor Band of America. Nick will travel to Indianapolis for a long week-end, working with the nation’s best high school musicians under the direction of some of the world’s greatest conductors.

Clayton and his band greatly appre-ciate the support they receive from the community and their booster club. “Peo-ple looking from the outside in don’t realize how much extra effort and time is given to make a band program special and successful. We have some of the greatest and hardest working parents to make this happen. From prop construc-tion to patron memberships, it takes a lot people working together to make what we do special.” n


DUTchForK

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Director of Bands Roger Simpson is in his fifth year at Irmo High School (IHS), where the music program is offi-cially entitled Irmo High School Interna-tional School for the Arts and serves as the district’s Magnet School for the Arts.

IHS enjoys a tradition of excellence. In the five years that Simpson has served, there has been additional growth in numbers and some growth in quali-ty of performances as well. This year’s marching band show was entitled Red. The show explored the idea of the col-or red, and the thoughts and emotions conjured by it. “We focused on some specific areas and keywords. Intensity, passion, and fire were the three major elements that we focused on throughout the show,” Simpson says. Featured mu-sic included Bolero, an old opera piece by Maurice Ravel, and Day Danse, a Lat-in piece by Chick Corea. The show also featured original music by Marty McCa-rtt. “The rainy season affected everyone,” he says. “We were only able to go to two competitions. We won first place at Sum-merville, and eighth in lower state.”

“We have about 100 students in marching band right now, and their par-

ticipation is completely voluntary,” Simp-son says. “We have two concert bands. Symphonic Winds is one of those — it’s our upper level ensemble, and marching band participation is required to be part of that group. Symphonic Band is an en-try-level course, and you don’t have to be in marching band to take that course. We have a big band era jazz band that performs throughout the year in the community, and competes as well.”

Assistant Director Robert Giovanel-li heads up the percussion program, which includes Concert Percussion and World Percussion. The World Percus-sion program features a Caribbean steel can band, African drumming, Japanese drumming and other ethnic drum en-sembles.

Simpson is in his twelfth year of teaching. He previously taught at Harts-ville High School and Barnwell High be-fore coming to Irmo. “I’m really happy here at Irmo. We have the support of the district and the administration. I plan to be here for a very long time,” he says.

Simpson takes pride in the belief that the students in his program are able to take away life skills that they can carry with them for the rest of their lives. “It’s the life skills they learn from being a part of a group organization. They learn about goal setting, and working hard to reach that goal. Band is going to prepare you for real life. When students gradu-ate, there are going to be times that they have to work with people they don’t like, but you’re still working toward the same goal. Our goal is not to go and get first place. Winning is nice, but ultimately coming off the field and knowing each and every kid gave their best perfor-mance is what it’s all about.”


irMo high SchooL

“They learn about goal setting and working hard to reach that goal. Band is going to

prepare you for real life.”

by Katie Gantt


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On the evening of March 4, 2015, Jack’s father, Vince Enright, enthusiastically watched from his seat in the announcer’s booth as his 16-year-old son played in a lacrosse match with Chapin’s high school team. During the fourth quarter, Jack, a team captain and midfielder, sprinted down the field in pursuit of an oppos-ing player from Lexington High School’s squad who was preparing to score. As Jack leaped to check him, he and the oth-er player crashed together in an awkward but forceful collision.

Natural concern turned into panic when Vince realized that his son was the

player who had just collapsed and lay unmoving on the field. Both father and mother raced to join Jack as paramedics were summoned. After the young man was transported to Richland Memorial Hospi-tal, the parents learned that the C-6 verte-

brae in Jack’s backbone had shattered, and fragments had nicked his spinal cord in several places. In the early morning hours, surgery stabilized Jack’s spine, but even

so, the doctor’s news was grim: Jack would probably never walk again.

After a 10-day stay at Richland, Jack was transferred to the Shepherd Center in Atlanta, one of the nation’s leading hospi-tals providing treatment and rehabilitation for those with severe spinal cord injuries. Although Jack was able to lift his arms halfway, he could not use his hands and had no feeling below his chest. Extensive occupational and physical therapy ses-sions filled his days, and his mother and father took turns staying the nights so he would not be alone.

One morning, about a month after the

injury, Jack woke up and made a stunning declaration: he could move one of his toes. And indeed, by visualizing the activity, he forced his toe to twitch. Jack was “super

“by Marilyn Thomas“I Got This!”An Update on Jack Enright

“You don’t realize how blessed you are until a tragedy happens”

no one defines determination quite like Jack enright. after suf-fering a serious spinal injury during a high school lacrosse game in the spring, he has since made significant physical progress against all odds and has astounded his family and friends, as well as the medical community. his story is one of hope and gratitude that he and his family openly share.

L-R: USC Coach Shawn Elliott, Jack Enright, Eric Elkins


“I Got This!” excited” that he had accomplished the seemingly impossible.

“I thought him being born was the best day of my life,” says Vince, “but that was the best day of my life.” Nonetheless, the doctors were very cautious in their prog-nosis. Despite his youth and exemplary physical condition, Jack only had a 10 per-cent chance of ever walking again.

Over time, Jack’s paralyzed nerves slowly began to awaken. After that initial movement he was soon able to wiggle more toes, and eventually he could bend his leg — but the effort required a tremen-dous amount of energy, and the limb felt as though it weighed “a thousand pounds,” says Jack. For five months he remained at the Shepherd Center and continued to make meaningful progress because of his strong optimistic outlook and consistent hard work.

“The main thing is his attitude is so positive,” says Vince. “He keeps saying the same phrase over and over (since) when he got hurt: ‘I got this. I got this, Dad.’ When the nurses and doctors come in, he just puts on a smile and says ‘Yes, sir!’ and ‘Yes, ma’am!’ to their instructions.”

Jack returned home in August to begin his senior year at Chapin High. Although his improvements have been gradual, his physical recovery is nothing short of aston-ishing. Jack has regained much of his fine motor skills in his hands, and can again

write with a pencil. He has also relearned how to stand up independently from a seated position. Most amazingly, however, is his ability to walk again. With the aid of a cane, he has crossed a distance of about 1,300 feet in one therapy session. Recent-ly he was also able to mount the stairs in his home unassisted and reach the second floor, where his bedroom is situated.

Twice weekly he continues to attend therapy sessions at Lexington Medical Center. Even during school, he uses a free period to practice walking in an empty classroom. Jack has also made plans to re-turn to the Shepherd Center this summer, so he can continue to rebuild his strength, mobility, and independence.

Jack attributes his success to his thera-py as well as the personal encouragement he has received from friends and family, the athletic community, and neighbors within the Midlands. Hundreds of indi-viduals from near and far who represent schools, churches, and pro-sports teams, have visited or sent personal letters and cards, jerseys, and videos to support Jack in his recovery. In addition, to raise aware-ness and help offset medical expenses, members of the Chapin community have rallied together to hold benefits such as a 5K race, a motorcycle run, a cross-fit ses-sion, and a concert in honor of Jack.

“I just really want to thank the whole community for their outpouring of love and support, particularly Chapin and also Atlanta,” says Vince. “You don’t realize how blessed you are until a tragedy happens,

and Jack is going to keep on improving.” In November Jack was invited as a spe-

cial guest along with USC interim football coach Shawn Elliott to appear at a bene-fit auction for Palmetto Health Children’s Hospital. More than $100,000 was raised to acquire specialized equipment for an inpatient pediatric rehabilitation center at the hospital.

Aside from his incredible challeng-es since the accident, Jack is a typical high school student with a broad circle of friends, good grades, and a schedule that includes social outings like local high school football games. He has his license and a car that is outfitted with equipment that enables him to drive. In a few months, he will rejoin his Lacrosse team to watch the games and help out where he is need-ed. Beyond this, Jack has plans to attend college in the fall. In his own words, he intends to “keep on living life like I would (have).” n

To learn more about Jack’s progress and

how to support his on-going recovery

efforts, visit HelpHopeLive.org/campaign/9655,

Facebook.com/PrayforJackEnright or GoFundMe.com/

Pray4Jack.


It is that time of year again, a time where we look back at the year that has passed and forward to the year ahead. For a long time, it has been customary to make New Year’s Resolutions. This practice began in ancient times with the Babylonians making promises to their gods that they would pay their debts and return borrowed objects. Of course, the joke in contemporary culture is to question how long into the New Year will you actually keep or stick with your reso-lution. One study found that 88 percent of those who set such resolutions eventually fail. The most common reason for failure is setting unrealistic goals.

The topics about which one could set a new year’s resolution are endless. Many vow to change habits including diet, exercise, spending more time with family, and being more patient with others. Some resolve to change a specific aspect of life. These might include getting a better job, moving, sav-ing money and paying off debt, and seeing a doctor. Still others vow to change things that are more internal. They might vow to worry less, be more positive, be more grate-ful, and to get closer to God.

What exactly is a resolution? Basically, it is a change you want to make — a goal. It might be helpful for a moment to consider some specific aspects of change. Not understanding what change is, how change works, or how it can be measured is a common reason many resolutions don’t succeed.

The first thing to know is that there are basically only three things that a person can change about himself. These are one’s thoughts, behaviors, and feelings. The most difficult to change is a feeling. Consider how difficult it is to will a feeling into or out of existence. On the other hand, one can choose to change a thought or behavior even if she doesn’t feel like it (I can choose to get out of bed, regardless of how tired or depressed I feel). The truth is that most people approach

change backwards: “When I feel different, then I will do something (or think) different-ly.” What actually works? When I choose to do or think something different, eventually a change in feelings will follow.

It is also important to consider how to measure change. The most common ap-proach is to see change as all or nothing. Most often though, change is incremental. We measure change in frequency (does it occur more or less often?), in duration (does it last longer or shorter?), and in in-tensity (does it seem more or less intense?). When I see change as occurring over time and measure it in small increments, I am less likely to be discouraged and more like-ly to stay with my goal.

Many people approach change with the idea that I can do it all on my own. “If I try hard enough and do the right things, I can make it happen.” For some things this works. Yet there are many things in life that are too big or too complicated for me to ac-complish all on my own.

I have friends and clients who are in re-covery from addictions — admittedly, one of the most difficult things for a person to change. If you know anything about recov-ery, you know that it follows what are com-monly known as 12-Step Programs (i.e., Alcoholics Anonymous). These 12 steps are essentially 12 principles that, when applied to life, lead to freedom from addictions and an overall healthier life. I believe that anyone could benefit from practicing these principles, and would like to look at just the first three.

1. We admitted that we were powerless over ______ (fill in the blank) and that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as

we understood him.

Notice several things about these steps. First, there is the idea of powerlessness. All of us encounter things in life that we seem to be powerless over. These include other people, economic conditions, health prob-lems, and even our own willpower. Some things in life are so difficult that we feel as if we are powerless. It seems that I may need some help from outside myself. That is where Step 2 comes in.

Many of us believe that there is some power greater than ourselves that exists. Most conceive of that power as God. In the Christian tradition which most of us are fa-miliar with, God is a personal being who wants a personal relationship with each of us. The Bible teaches that God loves you, is for you, and wants to help you in the ar-eas of life that you are powerless over. That help comes in the context of a relationship where He gives direction, we listen, and we follow Him precisely because he knows more and is more powerful than us.

This leads us to Step 3. If I am powerless over certain things in life, and there is a God who loves me, is for me, and wants to help me change, then I decide to surrender my life over to Him. This means surrendering to how God wants to bring about change in my life, instead of holding onto the idea change has to occur how I think it should.

As you consider making changes in the New Year, try changing the way you change. It has been said that the definition of insan-ity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Try some-thing different — you’ve nothing to lose. n

Tom Barbian, Ph.D. has been the Executive Director of the Christian Counseling of First Presbyterian Church in Columbia for nearly 19 years. He specializes in the treatment of ad-diction, and marriage and family counseling. He has raised five children and been married to Corrine for over 37 years.

by Tom Barbian, Ph.D

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It would take a dump truck to cart off all the New Year’s resolutions that go bad by spring. That so many resolutions don’t work is a good indication of the difficul-ties we face inside ourselves. Improving one’s life is hard work. We are all human, after all.

Eating too much is a good example. I can hereby declare that I won’t eat as much this year, but what can I possibly do when Miss Ann at the diner brings out her homemade chocolate cake? I can hereby resolve forthwith as resolutely as I please, but I know exactly what will hap-pen the next time Miss Ann brings out chocolate cake.

In the past year, I did a lot of diffi-cult work on my own little corner of the world. I didn’t like a lot of it. But I was

determined to be more at peace with my-self and my life. I was determined to be more joyful more often.

It was an odd paradox, because some-times one has to suffer to find joy. I learned that sometimes my perceived suf-fering is breaking the old habit of getting tangled up in games that weigh me down. Old habits are like chocolate cake.

Some people have not liked some of my changes. I was no longer the person they thought I should be. With the help of sober counsel, I kept my peace — for the most part. It was difficult sometimes. The sober counsel said people would be angry when I would no longer dance the twisted tango whose steps were learned through years of habit.

I tried an experiment at the sober

counsel’s encouragement: Don’t respond to accusations. Don’t answer unasked questions. Consider any question careful-ly before responding, because the ques-tion may be nothing but bait. In almost all cases, there were no questions. There were only accusations.

Daddy said discretion is the better part of valor. Daddy said: “Sometimes that means keeping your mouth shut, son.” And sometimes, keeping my mouth shut is a mighty hard thing to do. But I’ve learned that Daddy and the sober counsel were right. It took practice, but it wasn’t long before the accusations didn’t hurt anymore.

I accepted the truth of the old say-ing: Don’t try to teach a donkey to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the don-key. A couple of folks actually got around to asking some real non-bait questions, and I answered them. We have discov-ered a deeper friendship, with more un-derstanding than we once had. We’ve dropped the tango. Now, we waltz. The waltz contains steps of joy.

Joy is better than cake. I believe joy is ours to accept. Resolve hereby as you will to do what you will forthwith. But in between the grand resolutions, tuck in some reminders for yourself to take the time to look for and hang onto joyful mo-ments, to let go of drama whenever you can, and to learn that it’s okay to like who you are — just like you are.

David Clark is available to speak to groups. Call (803) 528-0740.

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Sweet Potato Black Bean Chili1 large sweet potato, peeled and diced 1 Tbsp. coconut oil 1/4 small sweet onion, diced 1 clove garlic 1 (15-oz.) can black beans, drained (or pinto

beans) 2 (15-oz.) cans fire-roasted diced tomatoes

with liquid 1-2 cups vegetable or chicken broth 1/2 Tbsp. chili powder 1 tsp. cumin 1 tsp. onion powder Salt, to taste Toppings: Sliced avocado, sliced jalapeno, plain greek yogurt, chopped cilantro

Place all ingredients (except toppings) in a slow cooker. Cover and cook on low for 6 hours, or on high for 4 hours. When the sweet potatoes are tender, the chili is ready. Top with your favor-ite toppings.

Peanut Butter Strawberries4 Tbsp. peanut butter (or any nut butter)1 tsp. virgin coconut oilStevia drops to taste, or 1.5 tsp. agave or

maple syrupFresh strawberries (or other foods to dip)

Have a parchment or wax-lined baking sheet ready to go, and clear space in your freezer. Put all ingredients (except fruit or other foods) in a ce-real-sized bowl and stir until well combined. Dip berries (or bananas, pretzels, truffles — whatev-er you desire), set onto the tray, and immediately freeze. Due to the nature of coconut oil, these are best kept cold.

Cranberry Apple Pecan Quinoa Salad1-1/2 cups chicken broth 1 cup quinoa, rinsed Dressing:3 Tbsp. olive oil 1-1/2 Tbsp. Dijon mustard 1 tsp. maple syrup, or more to taste 1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon Salt and black pepper to taste

1 large crisp apple, chopped into small pieces 1 cup pecan pieces 1/2 cup dried cranberries 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese (optional)

Stir chicken broth and quinoa together in a saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat, re-duce heat to low, then cover and cook until the broth is absorbed, about 10 minutes. Remove qui-noa from heat and fluff with a fork. Meanwhile, whisk olive oil, Dijon mustard, maple syrup and cinnamon together in a bowl; season with salt and pepper. Drizzle sauce over the cooked quinoa; stir. Add apple pieces, pecans, cranberries and Par-mesan cheese; stir. Return cover to the saucepan and let the mixture steam until the sauce warms and the apples soften slightly, 5 to 10 minutes.

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