kpc family magazine - july/august 2012

fwFamily.com July/August 2012 1

We didn’t know what was wrong.Until we found what was right!

What does your child need? Talk about it. Talk to your school.Explore other learning environments. Then choose!

Thanks to Indiana’s new School Scholarship Act, you can choose the best education for your child.

Visit: schoolchoiceindiana.com to see if you qualify.

I chose because I needed to:

• have shorter classes • be happy • become a successful musician.

We chose because Ryan needed to:

• be happy • build character • be challenged • fulfill his potential • have encouragement from peers and adults to be successful.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

Ryan and his parents, Julie and Mike

WeChoose!

2 July/August 2012 fwFamily.com

Life Steps6 EXPECTING

Baby names reflect past, present, future

8-9 BABIES | 0-1 YEARSTackling the ‘breast is best’ challenge

10-11 TODDLERS | 1-3 YEARSMilestones open new doors

12TYKES | 4-8 YEARSTraits of ‘spirited child’ can lead to successful adulthood

14-15 PRETEENS | 9-12 YEARSGrief should be allowed to run its course

20-21 TEENS | 13-18 YEARS Summertime is test preparation time

8-9 BABIES | 0-1 YEARSMom overcomes hurdlesto stick with breastfeeding

16-18 COVER STORYOutside-of-the-box ideasfor summer fun

14-15 PRETEENS | 9-12 YEARSRosemond guides mom onhow to help grieving son

Special features, tips and more 7 TekVenture Regional Maker Faire

will stimulate innovation19 See you at KidCity Aug. 421 Share time, love at the Ronald McDonald House24 New online tool helps indentify high

quality child care choices25 Cahoots offers free summer fun for ages 12-1826-27 Time away: living water to a parched soul

Teachable moments5 POOPED-OUT PARENT PAGE

Have fun and get it all done

Humor Helps 22-23 FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY

Local families share their funny stories

Calendar28-31 FAMILY EVENTS

Activities for youand your family

ETHAN BAKER, 5, AND LANCE, 2, of Kendallville enjoy ice cream atBixler Lake Park in Kendallville.

ON THE COVER >>>

CONTENTS >>>


As I write this, I know a lot of parents are already counting the days until school startsagain. Often, really enjoying summer takes some planning — it just doesn’t happen.Memorable summers involve a careful mix of family activities, both at home and at someof our great area locations for family-friendly fun, and “me” time. Everyone who cares forchildren needs time away to recharge and refresh. Thank you to Brenda Jank for a heartfeltand helpful article on that topic.

Our cover story features some tried and true family fun ideas, including two unusualice cream recipes. I have to admit that I love avocado, but I don’t think I will be trying theavocado ice cream idea. Amy Oberlin assures me it is delicious, so I have included it. I’msure some of you readers will enjoy this new twist on an old summer favorite.

Each issue of this magazine is based on contributions by readers. I thank each of ourcontributors — whether it’s an article, photo, humorous story or simply a suggestion for atopic.

Another big thank you to the Friends of the Family listed on the insidecover and back cover. Please be sure to thank them if you have the opportu-nity to do so. Their support enables us to continue to provide thismagazine for free to all families in the greater Fort Wayne area whorequest it.

I hope to see you at KidCity, the first Saturday in August at the NobleCounty fairgrounds in Kendallville. This free event is a summer highlightfor many families. Don’t miss it!

Enjoy your family!

Find us on Facebook: Type in KPC Family Magazine

Volume 8, Issue 4July/August 2012

Greater FW Family aims to provide parents with helpfulinformation so they can make sound decisions whileraising and educating their children. Every child isunique. Please consider your child’s individual develop-ment and needs when using parenting information.Authors’ opinions and advice presented in FW Familydo not necessarily reflect the opinions of FW Family andmay not be applicable to all children. We welcome yourcomments.

Greater FW Family

826 Ewing St.Fort Wayne, IN 46802

Telephone [email protected]

fwfamily.com

Greater FW Family magazine is a publication of

KPC Media Group Inc.

PresidentTerry Housholder

Vice President of Sales/General ManagerDon Cooper

Chief Financial OfficerDonna Scanlon

Copyright 2012. Greater FW Family Magazine. All rights reserved. No portion of this magazine may bereproduced without written consent of the publisher. The opinions expressed by contributors or writers do notnecessarily reflect the opinion of this magazine. Distribution ofthis publication does not constitute an endorsement of theproducts or services herein. For quality reprints, please call260-347-0400, ext. 176. Outside Greater Fort Wayne areamail delivery is $15 for 12 issues.

PublisherTerry [email protected]

EditorGrace [email protected]

Photographs by Chad Kline, dreamstime.com, Metro Creative Connection, MultiAd Builder and contributing

organizations and individuals

For Advertising Information and RatesContact Advertising Director

Karen Bloom260-347-0400, Ext. [email protected]

260-426-5511

Presentation EditorErin Doucette

[email protected]

Creative ManagerJane Minick

Welcometo our July/August issue!

Grace HousholderEditor, [email protected]

<<< LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

WHEN WE SKYPE ONLINE with our granddaughter Jane, 17 months, who lives in Norwayshe shows us the things she is doing and learning. One of her favorite things rightnow is pushing her “cow wagon” while running really fast across the wood floors.Here she is in a quieter moment, pulling, not pushing.


JULY, AUGUST CONTRIBUTORS >>>

>>>ERIN DOUCETTEDoucette is the

presentation editorfor KPC MediaGroup, leading

design and layoutfor several of its

publications. She, her husband,Stephen, daughters Ella, 5, and Eva, 2,

live in Huntertown. Her blog can beread at fwfamily.com. She can be e-

mailed at [email protected].

>>>BRENDA JANK

Jank is the founder of“Run hard. Rest

well.” She is a wifeand mother of five

children. Three of herchildren have special

needs. Contact her at CampLutherhaven, Albion. Phone: 636-7101;

email: [email protected]

<<< KATE COFFMAN Coffman is the programmanager for the College andCareer Counseling (C3)initiative of the Indiana YouthInstitute. C3 offers driveofyourlife.org and tripto-college.org to explore career

options and college.

<<< SUSAN COOKCook has been aparent educator atEarly ChildhoodAlliance since 2000,working in LaGrangeand Steuben counties.Contact her at

[email protected]

<<< REBECCA CALHOUNCalhoun is executive director of Drug FreeNoble County and coordinator for KidCity.She lives in Kendallville with her husbandTerry and youngest son Joshua, a senior atEast Noble. Contact her [email protected].

CHAD KLINE >>>Kline works for the

Noble County Sheriff’sDepartment as a

dispatcher, and is amember of the

Corunna Volunteer FireDepartment. He alsotakes photos for KPC

Media Group. He can be reached [email protected].

DR. JOHNROSEMOND >>>

Rosemond isAmerica’s most

widely-readparenting authority.He is a best-sellingauthor, columnist,

speaker and familypsychologist. More information at

rosemond.com.

KRISTY (GAFF) JOHNSONJohnson is a 2003 East Noble High School graduate. She studied physics at Dickinson

College and the University of Maryland. She lives in southern California with her husband,Michael, and their son, Felix, 1. Contact her at [email protected].

<<<


<<< POOPED-OUT PARENT PAGE

H A V E F U N A N D G E T I T A L L D O N E !

did u evernotice ... ?

Want more ideas? Visit before5.orgChildren thrive when parents visit before5.org

… you pay out the wazoo for avacation, and what your kidsremember is swimming and

eating french fries? (Simplify!)

… you max out the credit cardsto be all organized about

school supplies, and the dayafter school starts they cut the

price by 50 percent?(Good time to stock up on

basics for at home.)

… the more relaxed you are,the better your children

behave? (hmmmmmmmm!)

Have a great, relaxing summer…

BY GRACE HOUSHOLDER

Reality TV is giving birth to some of the most popular babynames, according to The Associated Press story posted in Mayby James Tew, KPC online editor, at fwfamily.com.

The article caught my eye. It continued:“No, not Snooki. But Mason, as in Kourtney Kardashian’s

son, jumped 10 spots to become the second most popularname for newborn boys in 2011.

“The more traditional Sophia is the new top name for girls,while Jacob is No. 1 for boys for the 13th straight year,according to the list released by the Social SecurityAdministration.

“Kardashian, the reality TV star, gave birth to Mason inDecember 2009 following a heavily publicized pregnancy. In2010, Mason jumped from No. 34 to No. 12. Last year, 19,396baby boys were named Mason, an increase of nearly 4,600, byfar the biggest jump for any name.

“The list, which also includes top baby names by state,draws millions of viewers. The agency hopes that people go tothe website to see the baby names and stay to learn aboutother services, said Social Security Commissioner Michael J.Astrue.”

The article said top girl names tend to change from year toyear — while the top boy names are more stable. William hasbeen a popular boy’s name for more than 100 years, neverfalling out of the top 20. Mason is the exception, entering thetop 100 for the first time in 1997.

The fastest rising name for girls: Briella, which jumped 394spots, to No. 497. Briella Calafiore stars in “Jerseylicious,” areality TV show about battling stylists at a beauty salon in

Green Brook, N.J. She’s also in a spinoff called “Glam Fairy.”In addition to popular culture, Americans get baby names

from religion and relatives. In the past, the traditional biblicalnames were John, James and Mary and Elizabeth, but today,“the hot names are all names from the Old Testament preciselybecause they were neglected for so many generations,” thearticle stated.

In addition to Jacob and Noah, Elijah at No. 13 and Joshuaat No. 14 are all from the Old Testament.

Parents often are advised not to discuss the name they haveselected with others until their child has been born. It can berather awkward when a name is shared with people whosuggest that, well, perhaps, maybe another name would bebetter.

Above are the top 10 boys’ and girls’ names for babies bornin Indiana 2011 as listed at ssa.gov. The number following thename is the number of Hoosier children given that name in2011.

B A B Y T R E N D S


Mason jumps more than any other name,Old Testament names also popular again

Baby namesreflect past,

present, future

Most popular Indiana boys’ names in 2011

1. Mason (507)2. Liam (390)3. Elijah (367)4. Noah (361)

5. William (361)

Most popular girls’ names in Indiana in 2011

1. Emma (450)2. Olivia (446)3. Ava (442)

4. Sophia (428)5. Isabella (376)

Fun websites to explore arebabynamewizard.com and nancy.cc


<<< THE FUTURE

The 2nd Annual Fort Wayne RegionalMaker Faire — Powered by TekVenture willbe Oct. 6 from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. and Oct. 7from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. at Headwaters ParkEast under the Lincoln Pavilion.

The event is a partnership with MAKE(makezine.com), a quarterly magazinedocumenting the national maker movement.

“I enjoy the Maker Faire because itshowcases everyday people doing wild andinteresting things. So much so that itinspired me to build the Twinkie Mobilewhich you will see around town throughout

the summer,” said Scott Rizzo, a local partic-ipant.

The event is free to “makers” who mightwork with robotics, remote-controlledvehicles, rapid prototyping equipment,woodworking, green technologies, digitalart, metalwork, fabric design, glassmaking,etc.

Makers who want to sell to the publicwill be charged a small fee. Makersinterested in participating should complete aCall for Makers (makerfairefortwayne.com.)as soon as possible. Space is limited.

More than 100 makers are anticipated toparticipate. Most exhibitors will actually bemaking something in their space. The goal isto create an environment where makersconnect with one another and the generalpublic can connect with the makermovement through creative and innovative

people while learning their problem-solvingprocesses.

The event will include attractions to drawpublic interest such as hands-on learningopportunities such as a soldering workshopand how to weld; seminars on pertinenttopics; TinkerTown, a place for youngmakers 4 -14; food; and entertainment.Guest tickets will soon be available forpurchase on Eventbrite.com.

TekVenture is a public art and technologylaboratory being developed in the neardowntown area. The goal is to create apublic intersection between imagination,technology, art and community. In partner-ship with the Allen County Public Library,TekVenture (tekventure.org) is operating inthe Maker Station, a 50’ trailer housing avariety of tools to demonstrate the design tofabrication cycle.

TekVenture Regional Maker Faire will stimulate innovationTekVenture is a public art andtechnology laboratory beingdeveloped in the Fort Waynedowntown area

Lift up

$250 A FOURSOME (4 PERSON SCRAMBLE HOLE IN ONE CONTEST)

FIRST EVER

FOR NORTHEASTERN INDIANA CASA AT COBBLESTONE GOLF COURSE

FRIDAY, JULY 20, 201212:30 PM

Entry Deadline, July 13OUTING

Food & Beverage TastingProvided by: House of Spirits, Grid Iron & Pizza Hut

BY JOINING US!


BY KRISTY JOHNSON

When I was pregnant with my son, one veteranmother said to me, “Breastfeeding is just like riding abike. There’s a bit of a learning curve, but once you’vegot the hang of it, you can climb mountains.”

As an avid cyclist, her analogy resonated with me. Ihave ridden my bike thousands of miles, on multiplecontinents, over hundreds of bona fide mountains thatleft me arduously cranking my pedals to the tune of myheartbeat pounding in my ears. And yet, I nearly didnot make it up the proverbial breastfeeding mountain.

Shortly after delivering my beautiful baby boy, Felix,I learned that I had inverted nipples, a condition thataffects 10-20 percent of women but often goes undiag-nosed until circumstances like breastfeeding arise. Thiscondition is characterized by nipples that cave inwardrather than point outward, making it difficult for a childto latch on and eat.

Nevertheless, I was adamant that I wanted to breast-feed my little boy. Numerous studies have indicated thatbreastfed babies have fewer illnesses, are less vulnerableto allergies, and show enhanced cognitive development.Breastfed babies are also less likely to becomeoverweight or obese and have a decreased risk ofdeveloping diabetes, high blood pressure, and certainchildhood cancers. And if that was not enough, breast-feeding appears to reduce the risk of Sudden InfantDeath Syndrome (SIDS).

Thus, desperate to feed my son and bestow theGoodness of Mother’s Milk upon him, I rented ahospital-grade breast pump and began pumping beforeand after every feeding. With the help of a silicon nippleshield and regular trips to the Lactation Support groupat the hospital, I was soon producing enough milk fortriplets and Felix was guzzling it down like a champion.

Still, the process was an exhausting, painful one, and

B R E A S T F E E D I N G

Tackling the ‘breast is best’ challenge

PHOTO CONTRIBUTED

WHILE KRISTY JOHNSON and her son, Felix, hike in Yosemite National Park, Felixtakes a quick break from a hard day. In addition to regular meals of solidfood, Felix continues to nurse three to four times a day to supplement hisnutrition and boost his immunity.See BBREASTFEEDING page 9

Nursing moms may face manychallenges, but support is out there


I remember often wondering during thosefirst few weeks why I had not heard moreabout the challenges of a lactating mama. Infact, while the ubiquitous “Breast is Best”campaign has encouraged more than 67percent of Indiana mothers to at least attemptbreastfeeding, the number of moms stillexclusively nursing at six months is scarcely11 percent.

Often, women are deterred by sore orcracked nipples, clogged milk ducts,infections, lack of support, or difficultiestransitioning back to the workplace.Premature infants or particularly small babiescan pose additional challenges as theirmouths are not strong enough to acquiresufficient milk directly from the breast. In myown experience, Felix was full-term but justhappened to be on the small side of average(6 pounds, 2 ounces at birth), and we were

told that after 15 minutes of suckling, hisbody was actually burning more caloriestrying to eat than he was receiving.

Nevertheless, the perseverance paid off.After the first few months, breastfeeding wasa joy and a pleasure, thanks largely to thededication and support of the hospital staffand several excellent lactation consultants, aswell as the camaraderie of other new momsovercoming the same obstacles. Thesesupport networks were invaluable and areessential for other new mothers experiencingsimilar difficulties.

Breastfeeding, though mountain it maybe, is one of the most beneficial, precious,and natural gifts of motherhood. Theemotional bond it generates between amother and her child is incomparable, and itis worth every ounce of effort a mom canmuster. Felix just turned 1 and continues tonurse with gusto, and now I can honestlyadd — to those mothers just beginning theclimb — the view from the top is extraordi-nary.

From Page 8

BREASTFEEDING More information La Leche League International (llli.org)— In addition to great articles andforums, find a La Leche League supportgroup near you. A strong network ofsupport is essential to a successfulbreastfeeding experience. Dads arewelcome too. KellyMom (kellymom.com)Babycenter (babycenter.com)

RecommendationsThe World Health Organizationrecommends exclusive breastfeeding forthe first six months of life, followed bysupplemented breastfeeding for twoyears or more. The American Academyof Pediatrics recommends exclusivebreastfeeding for the first six months oflife, followed by supplemented breast-feeding for at least one year.

newERState of the art. Close to home.

DeKalbHealth.com

BY ERIN DOUCETTE

As I have said before, raising children is aconstantly changing job.

We are going through several transitions atour house.

Ella is on the verge ofbeing an independentswimmer. She can swimunderwater and keep herselfafloat. Before long, I foreseeleaving her floaties at homeand she’ll be jumping off thediving board like the “bigkids.” This is huge.

Not to mention, she’ll bein kindergarten this fall.Kindergarten. She will bepicked up by a bus andtaken into this big scaryworld all by herself. (OK, Imay still be working throughmy fears about this.)

Eva just got a “big girl”bed. The crib, which hasbeen in my house for 5years, is now disassembledand in the garage. The babyblankets and crib sheets arepacked up as well. Now I amnot quite emotionally readyto put price tags on and saygoodbye to all these baby

items, but boy, I’m kinda happy about seeingthem go.

I love that we are moving into a phase ofhaving two kids, rather than a kid and a baby.

There will be no hauling of the Pack-n-Play this year for our annual camping trip. Nobaby camping seat to attach to the picnic tableeither.

Eva enjoys going to the movies now too,so we have that option again in our life. Andshe seems to be a little less needy these days.

In fact, we’re about to take a trip to Chicagoon the train and I would not have done thatwith her a year ago.

Maybe we can venture out a lot farthereven, knowing she can communicate well andwould even be entertained by a movie for partof the trip. I would love to go somewherewarm during the winter. And maybe one day


I am not quiteemotionallyready to put

price tags on andsay goodbye toall these baby

items, but boy,I’m kinda happy

about seeingthem go.

Erin Doucette

‘‘

’’

G R O W I N G U P

Milestones open new doors

See TTODDLERS page 11

ERIN DOUCETTE

EVA DOUCETTE, 2, AND ELLADOUCETTE, 5, can domore and more activi-ties, like water balloons,together as Eva getsolder.

we’ll head out West with them.And at home the girls can do more things together this

summer than ever. As a 1-year-old, last summer Eva wasn’t greaton the swings or going up the stairs. Now she’s keeping up withElla.

I still read blogs of moms who had babies around the sametime I did. Some of them are still having babies. One is on herthird and is getting up during the night again, nursing severaltimes a night. All while running her two preschoolers aroundduring the day. Begging for an hour to herself during the day.Wow, that sounds rough.

And I have had some needy babies. Eva took a long, long timebefore she became comfortable around a babysitter. And she justrecently went through another phase of not wanting to leave myside. And I think I’ve mentioned several times, my first babywouldn’t take a single bottle her first year of life. She was literallyattached to me for a year.

And I do remember the sweetness of holding a baby and allthose little baby clothes and they actually do sleep quite a bit(during the day!). And really you can take them anywhere, if youare equipped with a giant bag of necessities.

But, man, I really like this independence and the new doorsthat are opening up to us.

A coworker told me that her sister always said with her kids“every phase is better than the next.” Her child is now grownand was about to get married. I bet she thinks she’s at the bestphase yet.

From Page 10

TODDLERS

ERIN DOUCETTE

ELLA GETS HER younger sister, Eva, with a water balloon.

Kohl’s Healthy Kids:Meal-time ManiaTry these strategies to maximize nutrition and enjoyment at your family’s dinner table.

Lead by example — If you’re asking your child to eat certain foods, then you should eat them too.

A parent decides when and what to offer — The child decides which and how much to eat. Do not give your child adult-sized portions or force him or her to clean the plate.

Don’t give up on healthy alternatives — Continue to offer healthy foods along with family favorites. It can take up to 20 or more exposures for a child to accept a new food.

Get creative — Try hiding small amounts of pureed or grated vegetables, such as carrots, in casseroles, soups or sauces.

Kitchen helper — Involve your child with age-appropriate tasks. Kids are more interested in what is served when they help plan or prepare meals.

Your child will enjoy helping to prepare this recipe. Leave the apple slicing to a parent.

Turkey, Spinach and Apple Wrap1 Tbsp. reduced-fat mayo

2 tsp. honey mustard

2 whole-wheat flour tortillas

4 thin slices turkey breast (4 ounces)

1 Granny Smith apple, sliced paper thin

2 c. baby spinach leaves, or two large leaves of soft, leafy green lettuce

Wash and dry spinach. Combine mayo and mustard. Spread edges of each tortilla with mayo mixture. Leaving a margin free on the side closest to you, arrange a layer of spinach on top of tortillas and top each layer with turkey. Evenly divide apple slices and lay lengthwise across turkey. Fold over the end of the tortilla closest to you, then the two sides. Roll the tortilla as tightly as possible. Cover each tortilla tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate, seam side down, up to 4 hours before serving. When ready to serve, remove plastic wrap and cut each wrap in half, at an angle.

Reference: www.aicr.org


BY SUSAN COOKDo people characterize your child as “difficult” or

“strong-willed”? Do you love your child butsometimes feel like throwing up your hands in

despair? Maybe you have a“spirited child.”

Mary Sheedy Kurcinka,Ed.D. is a best-selling authorand internationallyrecognized lecturer andparent educator. A formerdirector of one of Minnesota’slargest early childhood familyeducation programs, Mary isthe founder of the SpiritedChild and Kids, Parents andPower Struggles workshops.Through her research,Kurcinka has assistedhundreds of parents.

When she became amom, she quickly realizedthat her son “was normal butdefinitely more: moresensitive, more intense, more

persistent, more perceptive and slower to transition.”Because of him, she says, she began her research

into behavior, temperament and individual differ-ences. Her studies gave birth to the term “spiritedchild.”

“I learned that there are many children who aremore and that their parents needed information andsupport,” she said.

“Raising Your Spirited Child” was written to helpall parents understand themselves and their children.The book is filled with practical advice and real-lifeexamples that every parent can use to make lifeeasier to navigate for their child. This also makesfamily life easier to navigate. Parents whose childrenare not considered spirited can also benefit fromreading the book. Kurcinka offers many insights intothe reasons children can be stressed and ways to

prepare for or avoid those stressors.One parent told me, “This book helped me

understand that not only is nothing wrong with myson, but in fact, he will be a successful adult one day.The same traits that can be difficult for parents todeal with when their child is little are actuallyexcellent adult traits. They will help him become asuccessful, creative adult. My job as a parent is tohelp him understand and learn to deal with hisfeelings. The truth is, once my attitude changed, theway I worked with my son changed and we havefound a unique, funny, and truly talented littleperson.”

Another parent said, “This book helped me tounderstand some of the reasons ‘why’. It also helpedme to understand how much my personality affectshow we deal with things together.”

Traits of ‘spirited child’ can leadto successful adulthood

P R O G R A M F O R P A R E N T S


The same traitsthat can bedifficult for

parents to dealwith when theirchild is little are

actually excellentadult traits.

Susan Cook

‘‘

’’

Free programsMary Sheedy Kurcinka,Ed.D. will be in northeastIndiana to present a freeprogram for parents,teachers and caregivers.The program issponsored by EarlyChildhood Alliance witha grant from the AWSFoundation and DekkoFoundation.

MORE INFORMATION:Contact Tricia Willard at745-2501 [email protected] visit ECAlliance.org.

PROGRAM: Raising YourSpirited Child

FOR: Parents andteachers; no registrationrequired

WHEN: Friday, Aug. 24, 7– 9 p.m.

WHERE: Cornerstone atFirst Assembly of God,1400 West WashingtonCenter Road, Fort Wayne

OR

WHEN: Saturday, Aug.25, 9 – 11 a.m.

WHERE: East Noble HighSchool, Cole Auditorium,901 Garden St.,Kendallville

MARY SHEEDY KURCINKA, ED.D., author of “Raising YourSpirited Child”


BY JOHN ROSEMOND

Q: My husband was killed nearly a year ago,and my 11-year-old son is still having a difficulttime with it. Before the accident, he was alwayscheerful and social and hardly ever complained.That still describes him, most of the time, butevery now and again he slips into moods where heis just the opposite. These episodes occur once

every couple of weeks and last for a couple ofdays, on average.

I took him to see a therapist, but I saw nochange after three months of weekly sessions, so Itook him out. When these moods happen, we talkabout how special his dad was and how much hemisses him, but I don’t think I’m making anyheadway.

A: Over the past 40 or so years, a number ofresearchers have identified the stages of the

Grief should be allowedto run its course

H A N D L I N G G R I E F

PHOTO CONTRIBUTED

… usually, but some people get ‘stuck’

When a child getsstuck, as seems to

be the case withyour son, it is often

the case thatcontinued discus-sion of the child’s

feelings is going tomake matters

worse rather thanbetter.

John Rosemond

‘‘

’’

See GGRIEF page 15

grieving process. These include denial, anger, depression, andfinal acceptance. The general feeling among mental healthprofessionals is that the process should be allowed to run itscourse, which takes longer in some individuals than in others.

That’s generally good advice, but as is the case with mostgeneral rules, there are exceptions. Some people, for example,get “hung up” at some point in the process. They need facilita-tors who can help them get unstuck and move on. That role canbe served by a therapist, a friend who’s gone through theprocess, or a group of people who are all grieving for similarreasons.

When a child gets stuck, as seems to be the case with yourson, it is often the case that continued discussion of the child’sfeelings is going to make matters worse rather than better. I wasrecently discussing this very issue with a psychologist whoworks with military families who have lost a loved one in war.He said that one of his biggest challenges is recognizing whentalking about a person’s feelings has become counterproductive.

My educated guess is that your son has reached the pointwhere the more he talks about how much he misses his dad, themore he’s going to miss his dad and the more often he’s going toslip into these funks of his. He needs someone to help him getunstuck, and I suggest that you’re in the best position to givehim that gentle push.

Don’t wait for the next episode. Instead, talk to him when theproverbial iron is cold. Say something along these lines: “I’venoticed that when we talk about your dad and how much youmiss him, we are talking about things we’ve talked about before.That’s good, because it means that there’s really nothing more tosay. So I’ve decided that from now on, we’re only going to talkabout your dad twice a month, every other Saturday morning(for example) right after breakfast. That’s the best time becauseneither of us has to be anywhere and we can talk as long as weneed to. The new rule,however, is that we can’t talk about stuffwe’ve already talked about. We have to talk about new stuff.”

That will mean that you have to enforce two rules: first, youonly talk twice a month; second, you don’t go over stuff you’vealready talked about.

Initially, you may need to say things like, “I’ve noticed thatyou might be thinking about your dad again. That’s fine. Takesome time to think about what we’re going to talk about nextSaturday. Write it down so you don’t forget, but remember, weonly talk about new stuff.”

The combination of your authority and the new rules willprovide exactly what he needs to begin resolving his sadness andmoving on. The likelihood is, when it comes time for ascheduled talk session, he really won’t have much, if anything,to talk about. That, in fact, is the goal.

From Page 14

GRIEF

All they need are the tools to get there.These resources are online and totally FREE! Explore different career paths. Prepare for career training or college. Plus students and parents can network and stay up-to-date on the latest college and career planning news via Trip To College on Facebook.

TripToCollege.orgDriveOfYourLife.org CCCOOOOfff fff

fi nd us on facebook:facebook.com/triptocollege


16 July/August 2012 fwFamily.com July/August 2012 17

COVER STORY >>> <<< COVER STORY

Enjoy the

How about trying something reallydifferent this summer?

AVOCADO ICE CREAM

This recipe is from AmyOberlin of The HeraldRepublican in Angola.

“Jim Shilander (a formerKPC employee) used tomake avocado ice cream.It was delicious, rich andcreamy,” Amy said. Shebelieves this recipe on theFood Network site is thesame as Jim’s:

Ingredients:

• 12 ounces avocadomeat, approximately 3small to medium

• 1 tablespoon freshlysqueezed lemon juice

• 1 1/2 cups whole milk

• 1/2 cup sugar

• 1 cup heavy cream

Peel and pit the avocados.Add the avocados, lemonjuice, milk and sugar to ablender and puree.Transfer the mixture to amedium mixing bowl, addthe heavy cream andwhisk to combine. Placemixture in refrigerator andchill until it reaches 40degrees F or below,approximately 4 to 6hours.

Process the mixture in anice cream makeraccording to manufac-turer’s directions. However,this mixture sets up veryfast, so count on it takingonly 5 to 10 minutes toprocess. For soft icecream, serve immediately.If desired, place in freezerfor 3 to 4 hours for firmertexture.

BY GRACE HOUSHOLDER

How about trying something really different thissummer: A family olympics? Backyard camping?Avocado ice cream? A road race?

Here are family fun ideas that you may not have thought ofyet!

Family olympicsAbout seven or eight years ago, LeAnn Robinson of

Kendallville suggested the idea for “an olympics or something”when family members were just sitting around talking. Theyput ideas together and now more than 100 family and friendsgather for “an Olympics” every August.

Family members meet at a restaurant one month prior todecide on games and who will bring what. They now have alogo, T-shirts and an “official” olympic torch made by LeAnn’sbrother. The olympics are at the Don and LaVera McCoy farm(LeAnn’s parents) outside Avilla. Its pond makes it an ideallocation.

The olympics are just one day, but family members andclose friends camp by the pond and make a weekend out of it.

All ages participate. Older ones watch, judge or playhorseshoes or corn hole.

Funny relayraces aregood: runningthrough hoops,sliding onplastic coveredwith oil,carrying waterin a cup with ahole in it orsack races.

LeAnn Robinson

‘‘

’’

See SSUMMER FUN page 18

sun…run …fun

the the

Top and right photos:Family olympics caninvolve family and friendsof all ages. Left photo,the Lowe family ofLigonier enjoy backyardcamping. Nate and AnneLowe are the parents ofLydia, 11; Isaiah, 8; andMicah, 4. They camp inthe backyard of a churchthey neighbor. They likebackyard campingbecause they don’t haveto pack a bunch of stuff,they can use thebathroom at home, runhome for snacks andcamping can be sponta-neous. They caution thatit can get cold at night sobe sure to dress warmly.A bonfire — often withfriends — is a favoritepart of the experience.

PHOTO CONTRIBUTED PHOTO CONTRIBUTED

PHOTO CONTRIBUTED


COVER STORY >>>

The most popular event is the whiffleball tournament. Everyone plays if theywant to — from the littlest to the oldest.

Also popular are the canoe races onthe pond and the giant Slip ‘n Slide thatruns down the hill at the back of thepond. It is more than 150 feet long. Theydrip soapy water down it all day. Peoplecan’t get enough of it, and they now havea traveling trophy for the slip ‘n’ slidefree-style event. Angie and Troy Mynhierhave won it twice. She pushed him downin a baby carriage last year!

LeAnn advises families to try to keepit simple. Funny relay races are good:running through hoops, sliding on plasticcovered with oil, carrying water in a cupwith a hole in it or sack races.

LeAnn saves the games and rules onher computer. Each year she prints themout again, attaches them to a clip boardfor each team and they are set to play.Scores are posted to fuel the competition!

Homemade ice creamTOSS AND EAT ICE CREAM This recipe is from Nichole Hacha-

Thomas, editor, KPC’s Times CommunityPublications.

“Our Girl Scouts made homemade icecream every year at camp,” she said. Allwe needed was ice, salt, milk, sugar,flavoring and two Ziploc bags each. It isfun and yummy!”

1. Fill a large Ziploc bag with 5 cupsof ice and 1/8 cup of salt. Zip.

2. Fill smaller Ziploc bag with 1 1/2cups cup of milk, 1/2 tsp of flavoring(chocolate, vanilla, strawberry syrup) and1 tablespoon of sugar. Zip very tight.

3. Insert the small bag into the bigbag.

4. Throw baggies back and forth toone another. Or you can massage the bag,throw it up in the air and catch it. Dothat for about 10 minutes or until the icecream has formed.

Road raceMy sister Vi Wysong of Wawaka gave

me this suggestion to share with families.Their children are grown, but sheremembers that they used to love to go toroad races together. “We would all runour varying paces,” she said. “We alwaysgot an informal ‘family discount’ whenthey saw it was all of us. It was fun forme, because I always was last —sometimes barely running at the end —but the kids and Phil would come backand cheer me on! My goal was just tofinish!”

From Page 17

SUMMER FUN

Free • Fun • Prizes • Concessions Available Stories • Animals • Games • Building Projects • Hobbies

Gardening • Crafts • Police Dogs & More

E-mail: [email protected]

VISIT ALL 5 NEIGHBORHOODS:Arts & Culture • Communication • Community • Environment

& Science Health & Fitness

10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.Noble County Fairgrounds

Tots - Middle School

AN INTERACTIVE LEARNING FAIR FOR KIDS & THEIR FAMILIES

Saturday, August 4,

2012

WIN PRIZES!Visit all 5 neighborhoods

to enter drawing.


<<< INTERACTIVE FUN

BY BECKY CALHOUN

What’s on the calendar for the firstSaturday in August? KIDCITY of course!

For the eighth year KidCity — aninteractive learning fair — will be fillingthe Noble County Fairgrounds with fun,educational activities for families.

KidCity’s five neighborhoods —Community, Communications & Literacy,Health & Fitness, Arts & Culture andEnvironment & Science — offer tots

through middle school kids and theirfamilies fun activities while exposing themto learning opportunities and practicalinformation, and connecting them withlearning and family resources available inand around Noble County.

Families will find many of their favoriteactivities like breaking boards withHayden’s ATA students and painting withWeible’s Paints returning.

Science Central will be encouragingspace exploration and the Fort Wayne Zoowill provide kids a chance to meet some

friendly zoo animals.There will be fire trucks, radio

broadcasts, farm animals, building projects,art projects, dancing, singing and lotsmore. With nearly 100 activities everychild is sure to find something thatintrigues them.

Families should plan to come andspend the day at KidCity 2012. Save thedate: Saturday, Aug. 4, from 10 a.m. to 4p.m. There is no admission fee and a freelunch will be available for the kids.Parking for the day is $3.

See you at KidCity Aug 4

THESE PHOTOS TAKEN BY CHAD KLINE during KidCity 2011 help illustrate how KidCity fulfills its mission to be an interactive funlearning experience for children and families, focusing on communication, literacy, fitness, community, culture, science and the arts.KidCity seeks to expose kids and families to information and services which support learning, personal growth and healthy living.


Summer time is test preparation time

BY KATE COFFMAN

In Indiana, students from third grade to 12thgrade are taking standardized tests. Whether it is theISTEP exam or the SAT, strong reading, writing andmath skills are critical to doing well. Summer is agreat time to prepare for these tests by helpingstudents improve their skills in those critical areasand by helping kids familiarize themselves with theexams.

Most colleges in the U.S. require a student to takethe SAT or ACT for admission. Most collegeadmission officers recommend taking both. The SAThas three sections — critical reasoning, math andwriting. Each section is worth 800 points for a total

composite score of 2400. The highest ACT score is36. The ACT sections are English, math, reading andscience, with an optional writing section. Studentsshould begin taking these tests in 11th grade, butpreparation should begin as early as ninth grade.

Collegeboard, the nonprofit that administers theSAT, has found a correlation between family incomeand SAT score — the higher the income, the higherthe score. These findings do not mean middle- andupper-class kids are smarter. The difference resultsfrom these families having access to resources suchas tutors, test preparation courses and othermaterials that help their students understand the

C O L L E G E P R E P

Collegeboard, thenonprofit that

administers theSAT, has found a

correlationbetween familyincome and SAT

score — thehigher the

income, thehigher the score.... The difference

results from thesefamilies having

access toresources such as

tutors, testpreparation

courses and othermaterials that

help theirstudents

understand thetests and perform

better.

Kate Coffman

‘‘

’’

STUDENTS CAN PRACTICE SAT questions for free at the Collegeboard website, collegeboard.org.

See CCOLLEGE PREP page 21

The Ronald McDonald House needsvolunteers to help staff the new house atParkview Regional Medical Center onDupont Road, Fort Wayne.

Volunteers are present 365 days a yearand help keep the services of the RonaldMcDonald House free to guest families.Volunteers receive training on how tointeract with guests, be good listeners andoffer quiet support.

They give tours, check-in guests,answer phones, keep the refrigeratorsstocked and batches of cookies in theoven. Most importantly, they maintain asoothing environment that providescomfort and privacy.

The Ronald McDonald House is open 9a.m. to 9 p.m. Monday through Sunday.Volunteers work a three hour shift eachweek.

Visit RMHC-NEIndiana.org and clickon the How to Help link to get an applica-tion. Call: 373-3590 or [email protected] for moreinformation.

Opening in 2002, the RonaldMcDonald House at Parkview is a home-away-from home for families of ill orinjured children. The Ronald McDonaldHouse serves the families of all dependentchildren 21 and under.

The Ronald McDonald House isavailable at absolutely no charge to theguest families, whether they stay one dayor many months.

FamilyFriendly

CommercialFree

wbcl.orgwbcl.orgwbcl.orgfwFamily.com July/August 2012 21

tests and perform better. By learning theformat and content of typical testquestions and answering practicequestions regularly, students can greatlyimprove their scores.

But parents who cannot afford tutorsand test preparation courses still can takeadvantage of free resources to prepare forstandardized tests. Students can practiceSAT questions at the Collegeboard website,collegeboard.org. ACT also offers practicequestions on its site, act.org. Practiceguides are sold in bookstores or can beborrowed from libraries. Understandingthe directions to each section and what isbeing tested before taking the actual testcan save students time on test day — timethat can be devoted to answering morequestions. The more questions answeredcorrectly, the better the score.

For students who are taking end-of-course assessments or the ISTEP exams,practice tests can be found on the IndianaDepartment of Education website atdoe.in.gov.

It’s also very important for every 10th-grader to take the free PSAT. The IndianaDepartment of Education pays for studentsto take the test, which will be administeredon Oct. 17 this year. The PSAT format issimilar to the SAT. Some consider it apractice SAT — but it actually is used todetermine National Merit Scholarshipfinalists and recipients. Too many studentsmiss the opportunity to take advantage ofthis free test, so have your child ask a highschool guidance counselor to register for thePSAT.

And one final reminder; kids who remainactive during the summer forget less of whatthey learned during the school year. So havethem get out, play and read at least 15minutes per day to keep their bodies andminds sharp.

From Page 20

COLLEGE PREPShare time,love at the

RonaldMcDonald

House


HUMOR HELPS Readers, if you have a true funny kidstory (or a collection of stories)involving you or your co-workers,friends, students or family, please callme at 260-347-0738 or e-mail me [email protected].

— BY GRACE HOUSHOLDER

Jakob, 8, was with his step-mother when she went into

false labor. He told her,“Breathe, just breathe.

Breathe. Breathe!” She saidwith surprise, “How do youknow anything about this?”Jakob replied, “I do watchTV!” Fortunately, his step-

mother is doing fine. — GALE SPENCE (GRANDMOTHER OF

JAKOB) OF ANGOLA

A couple of years ago the Gisels hadtaken the old cars and trucks to the

Father’s Day Car Show at the WindmillMuseum. It was very hot and there wasno breeze. After parking the cars andputting the awning up for shade, theytook a break in the shade. Blaine, 6,sat down in his lawn chair under theawning and declared, “It sure is hot!

Why don’t they turn on some of those fans?”

— TOM AND DARLENE GISEL OFKENDALLVILLE

Bev had both of hernephews in the car with herand she asked them whatthey wanted to be when

they grow up. PJ, 8,answered that he want tobe an astronaut. Sean, 6,said he wanted to be a

pizza seller that sells pizzafor $1.

— AUNT BEV OF SYRACUSE

A stray dog showed up at Coleen’shouse while she was watching her

grandson, Kayden, 3. Kayden wantedto go pet it but Coleen told him they

couldn’t because they didn’t know if itwas a nice doggy. Kayden matter-of-

factly said, “Gramma, just ask thepuppy if he is nice! Don’t worry ‘bout itGramma, I will do it. HEY, PUPPY —

ARE YOU A NICE PUPPY?” ThenKayden looked at Coleen and said,“We better go inside because the

puppy didn’t answer me.”

— COLEEN ROSS OF LAGRANGE

HUMOR HELPS >>>

“THESE ARE MYGRANDCHILDRENcooling off on ahot MemorialDay,” wrote LoriMasters ofFremont. Picturedare Emily,Jackson andOlivia Foster.They are thechildren of Sarahand Tyler Foster.


<<< HUMOR HELPS

• Breann, 7, was doing her homework for first grade.Her mom sat down at the table with her to do

something she had to do. Breann looked at her motherand said, “I do my business and you do yours, so just

shift your business over there.”

• While admiring her 2-month-old baby sister,Addyson, Breann said, “You are the best blessing I

ever had!”

• Cheyenne, 4, was at Zelma’s house. Zelma askedher if she would like to see her new bedroom suite.Cheyenne looked at Zelma and said, “I already sawit.” Zelma asked her, “When? You haven’t been here

in awhile.” Cheyenne said, “Zelma, I watched theconstitution worker putting it together before they

brought it in to your house. I stood on my bed andwatched them.” (Cheyenne was referring to the

delivery people.)

— STORIES FROM ZELMA FELTNER OF KENDALLVILLE. Breann is her granddaughter and

Cheyenne is her neighbor:

Bev was working on a word searchpuzzle about breads and it

reminded her of a recent conversa-tion that she had overheard. As

usual, when her nieces andnephews arrive at Grandma’s (Bev’s

mom’s home) they are hungry.When PJ, 8, took the bun

Grandma handed to him, heasked, “Is this the only bread youhave, Grandma?” She replied, “I

have whole wheat grain bread, butI don’t think you like it.” PJ

responded, “You’re right, I only likewhite grain bread.”

— AUNT BEV OF SYRACUSE

Betty was driving with her son,Derek (then 7, now 20). Bettypointed out a big hawk sitting

on a fence post along thehighway. Derek said, “Thathawk works for the policedepartment. When it sees

someone speeding, it flies backto the police station and lets

them know so they can arrestthem.” A few minutes later as

Betty came around a big curvein the road, there sat a policecar with its lights flashing. The

policeman had pulled someoneover. Without missing a beat

Derek said, “See? It’s working.”

— BETTY MURRAY OF LAGRO

The Brethren Retreatat Shipshewana Lake

Refreshing Spirits

9095 W 275 N • Shipshewana, IN 46565 • 260-768-4519 • Register online: www.brethrenretreat.org

Fun for the

Whole Family


COMMUNITY >>>

New online tool helps identify highquality child care choices

Early Childhood Alliance now has adigital tool to help northeast Indiana familiesassess child care facilities for quality, safetyand other benchmarks, and to take a “virtualtour” of select facilities. Child Care Online isa free, Internet search tool to easily andconveniently compare child care programs,and to help parents or guardians identify arange of high quality care choices. It isavailable at childcareindiana.org or on EarlyChildhood Alliance’s website:ECAlliance.org.

According to Pam Leffers, EarlyChildhood Alliance program director, “Thisimportant search tool provides photos ofclassrooms, play areas, and equipment, aswell as descriptions of a program’s philos-ophy, meals and snacks, rest times, staffprofiles and fees. With this detailed informa-tion, parents can research programs whichmeet their specific needs.”

Child Care Online is available for allfamilies in Indiana through the IndianaBureau of Child Care in partnership with theIndiana Association for Child Care Resourceand Referral and the Indiana Association forthe Education of Young Children.

Child Care Online is a feature of Paths toQuality, Indiana’s voluntary quality ratingand improvement system for child careprograms. Indiana is among the states withthe highest percentage of child careprograms that are nationally accredited andmeet the highest standards.

More than 1,145 Indiana child careprograms have achieved, or are workingtoward the state’s highest level of care —national accreditation. Child Care Onlinewill highlight programs that are providingrich learning environments for children. Tolearn more about child care resources visitchildcareindiana.org.

Website provides comparison ofarea day care facilities

Listening To YourFamily’s Medical Needs

Well into the FUTURE260.665.2141

www.CameronMCH.com

Cahoots offers free summerfun for ages 12-18

ANGOLA — Cahoot’s Coffee Cafe has a free summer funschedule planned for children between the ages of 12-18.

The goal is to give kids a free, safe, fun place to spend partof their time with positive activities.

The scheduled activities at Cahoot’s, 218 W. Maumee St.,will end when the kids go back to school in the fall.

The schedule will include:• Tuesdays from noon to 2 p.m., a writing workshop with

no materials required, only an imagination and determinationto write.

• Tuesdays from 6-9 p.m., backyard bashes with games,music, food.

• Adventures in discovery from noon-2 p.m. eachWednesday; something different each week.

• Thursdays from 1-3 p.m. sports and games.• Thursdays will also feature tell it like it is from 4-5 p.m.

with an honest discussion on a timely topic and a snack.For more details, call 624-2399.Cahoot’s is a joint ministry between Angola United

Methodist Church and First Congregational United Church ofChrist.

<<< FREE FUN

Your news. Your way.

Home delivery subscribers get full access to online content.To subscribe go to kpcnews.com

or call 1-800-717-4679

THE NEWS SUN

StarTheTHE HERALDREPUBLICAN

Get Reading!

Explore book clubs

at area libraries

Page C1Hoosiers Win

IU tops VCU,

heads to Sweet 16Page B1

‘21 Jump Street’

Read Jenny’s take

on the remakePage C6

Weather

Chance of showers

and storms today

with high near 78.

Expect a low of 57.

Page B8

March 18, 2012Sunday

GOODMORNING

BAYAMON, Puerto Rico (AP)

— Looking toward the critical

primary in Illinois, Republican

presidential front-runner Mitt

Romney wrapped

up a shortened

campaign trip to

Puerto Rico on

Saturday as he

prepared for more

tough contests

against chief rival

Rick Santorum.

The former

Massachusetts

governor dramati-

cally curtailed his

trip to the U.S.

territory, which

holds its primary

today, in favor of

spending more

time in Illinois,

where polls have

shown him slightly

ahead ofSantorum. Romney had planned to

spend the weekend and visit a

polling place today, but instead

left the island immediately after a

morning appearance.

Santorum left Puerto Rico

earlier this week and was spending

the morning in Missouri, where he

already won a primary that

awarded no delegates. Missouri

Republicans were meeting in

county caucuses Saturday, the first

step toward choosing delegates to

the national convention who are

comm tted to sp cific cand dat

Nextstop:Illinois

Santorum

Romney

Avid golfer Rick Nowels of Kendallville watches

as his putt coasts toward the hole at Cobble-

stone Golf Course in rural Kendallville Friday

afternoon. Representatives at Cobblestone said

this is the earliest the course has opened in its 13

years of business.

CHAD KLINE

BY MIKE MARTURELLO

[email protected]

ANGOLA — When the weather

started turning from winter to

summer last week, the folks at

Bridgewater Golf Club in Auburn

got caught off guard.

They were expecting some early

play on the course, but not the level

they ended up with.

“We were caught a little off

guard. But we finally got enough

hot dogs and drinks and have been

able to take care of everybody.

We’re OK now,” said Ivan Foster,

head golf professional.

Many businesses dependent on

warmer weather are seeing an

upswing in activity due to the recent

warm spell.Warming trends often come in

purt in March but rarel ar the

up that warm air from the South,”

Obergfell said. The result has been

temperatures in the 70s with lows

near 50 for the better part of a week

when the daily average high is

typically around 45 degrees.

Until possibly Thursday or

Friday, there hasn’t been a strong-

enough system to come out of the

Arctic to combat the high that’s

b ought th wa m w athe

“When the snow disappears and

you can start seeing dirt, people

start getting interested again (in

boating). The guys in the showroom

are keeping busy, they’re seeing

some activity,” said Terry Archbold

of Dry Dock Marine Center,

Angola.What’s in the dirt is what matters

for golf courses. If the ground is too

soft or ther ’s st ll fro t in the so l

Thinking about summer

GOP rivals head

to next showdown

Warm spell has outdoor enthusiasts out and about

“We’ve kind of had a ridge of high pressure that’s been

bringing in the warm air from the South.”

Courtney Obergfell

National Weather Service Northern Indiana

•

Kendallville, Indiana

kpcnews.com

$1.25

Premiere Edition

places sixth at state

BY DENNIS NARTKER

[email protected]

PLAINFIELD — East

Noble’s Premiere Edition all-

women show choir finished

sixth out of nine groups in

Saturday’s ISSMA show

choir state finals for small

division schools at Plainfield

High School.

The Northridge Starlights

captured first place, followed

by the New Castle

Dynamiques in second and

DeKalb High School Sound

Sensation in third.

East Noble’s Knight

Rhythms mixed choir did not

qualify for the state finals.

Othe all-wom cho rs i

Getting into the spirt of St.

Patrick’s Day was easy for 15-

month-old Natalie Bullock of

Avilla, as she sported a

shamrock dress while

attending the Noble County

Health Fair with her family on

Saturday. The health fair

attracted more than 400

people to Central Noble High

School in Albion.

St. Paddy’s DayBOB BUTTGEN

our news. YYo

YYoour way.

or call 1-800go too subscribeTTo

full access to oHome delivery s

0-717-4679o kpcnews.com

online content.subscribers get


BY BRENDA JANK

Are you a parent of a child withhigh needs?

You’re invited to “catch yourbreath.”

With the relentless sobbing of threepreschoolers ringing in my ears, Isuccumbed to a full-blown mommymeltdown.

“Arghhhhh!” I cried. Burying myface in my hands, I pounded my feeton the floor, mimicking the antics of atantruming 2-year-old. Little eyes, widewith disbelief, watched as cascadingtears soaked the front of my shirt. Isank into the nearest chair, shaking. Formonths and months I had been runningragged on the fumes of an empty tank.

I had nothing left to give and my three little boyshad so much more they needed that day, and the next,and the next, and the next. The reality of this truththreatened every fiber of my being. I adored my diaper-clad crew, but children are “high need” creatures andthe job of loving and caring for our children demandedmore than I had left to give. Our youngest son, Joseph,8 months, had been born with spina bifida. I was taxedand overwhelmed.

This particular mommy meltdown (there have beenothers) occurred on a Sunday afternoon when myhusband was out of the house. While my sobs mingledwith those of our three sons, I suddenly was surprisedto feel my husband Tim’s hand on my shoulder. Ilooked up to find him holding out my purse, my Bibleand the car keys.

“Go, Brenda.” His eyes were kind. “We’ll be OK.”What a sight. Joseph was in Tim’s arms, back

arched, face red, tears falling fast. Josh, 3, was standingby Tim’s side whimpering softly and clinging to his leg.Sam, 2, flat on the floor and belly up, was kicking andscreaming.

Laced with love and no condemnation, Tim added,“Don’t come back until the boys are in bed.”

Guilt threatened my next move. Tim was a morethan competent dad, but this was a mess. Sanity wonout.

“OK,” I said. Tim, bless his heart, sent me on myway with this potent reminder. “The most loving thingyou can do for the kids is to take the time to recharge.You’re tired, Brenda, you just need a break.”

This permission to rest was like giving water to aparched and depleted soul.

Only a mile from home, I had to pull over. Blinded


FROM ONE MOM TO ANOTHER >>>

O V E R C O M I N G S T R E S S

I had nothingleft to give andmy three little

boys had somuch more

they neededthat day, andthe next, andthe next, andthe next. Thereality of this

truth threatenedevery fiber of

my being.

Brenda Jank

‘‘

’’See TTIME AWAY page 27

Time away:living water toa parched soul

THIS PHOTO OF TIM AND BRENDA JANK’S CHILDREN was taken in 2008.From top to bottom are Josh, Sam, Joe, Anna and Noah.

by tears, I was unfit to drive. The avalanche ofemotion bottled up from the past 12 monthswas enormous: fear, fatigue, hope and heartache(interspersed with joy and gratitude). Thesedaunting emotions vied for my attention, yetwere never dealt with in the wake of dailydemands, hospital trips and sleepless nights.

This was my first “day away” in years. It wasgood to cry. Convinced the well-being of myfamily was at stake, I committed myself to enjoythis gift of rest — guilt free.

I spent the next six hours relishing thesilence and delighting in the freedom to do asmy heart desired. The beauty of that day echoedinto the days that followed. For six hours I didnot attend to anyone’s needs or accomplish asingle thing. I did not produce, poke, prod orprovide anything for anyone. It was a taste ofheaven!

That six-hour “day away” 15 years ago was a

day of healing and hope. The ingredients weresimple, the time frame was manageable, theresults were profound.

Over time, I’ve come to understand that therestorative nature of rest nourishes and revivesthe deepest places of my heart.

Those inner chambers are the source andcenter of who I am. When they are neglected, Icare for my children, at best, with a self-imposed limp. At my worst, I crash and burn,taking my family down with me.

My passion in life? First, to care for myfamily (which now includes five children ages11-18) in ways that allow each of us to thrive.There are days I buckle, and life is more aboutsurviving than thriving.

Secondly, I desire to extend the invitation ofrest and renewal to people of all ages and stagesof life. I have a particularly tender place in myheart for those who face long days and shortnights — for those whose love runs deep forsome of God’s finest people — children andteens who need more and give more than mostwill ever know.


From Page 26

TIME AWAY

<<< FROM ONE MOM TO ANOTHER

ENJOY A DAY AWAYCamp Lutherhaven (26 milesnorthwest of Fort Wayne) opens itsdoors to personal retreats Mondaythrough Friday at no cost. The retreatis set on 72 acres of rolling hills andlakes. It’s a beautiful place for a dayaway or over-night getaways. Sculptyour day in any way you choose.Sleep. Hike. Kayak. Read. Journal.Nap. Rest. Come … catch yourbreath.

Camp Lutherhaven, Albion, 636-7101, lutherhaven.org

Bear Lake Camp, Albion, 799-5988,bearlakecamp.com

Brethren Retreat at ShipshewanaLake, 768-4519, brethrenretreat.org

Camp Mack/A Quiet Place, Milford,574-658-3342, campmack.org

KIDS’ EYE CARE SPECIAL

• Children should get an eye exam before the age of five.

• Good vision is necessary for proper development and educational progress.

• Untreated eye conditions can lead to vision loss.

Don’t wait…call us today to schedule your child’s eye exam.

DID YOUKNOW?

TM

Innovative Eye Care Auburn Office • 1212 N. Main St. • Auburn, IN 46706 • 260-925-1916Garrett Office • 110 N. Randolph • Garrett, IN 46738 • 260-357-6261

www.visionsource-innovativeeyecare.comDouglas C. Morrow, O.D. • Michelle L. Frye, O.D.

SUNDAY, JULY 1Butterflies of MalaysiaJuly 1 - 8. Botanical Conservatory, 1100 S.Calhoun St., Fort Wayne. Continues through July8. Admission is $5/adult, $3/child age 3-17, freefor children 2 and under.

Discovery CornerJuly 1 - 31. Botanical Conservatory, 1100 S.Calhoun St., Fort Wayne. In July, we’ll beexploring all about what’s in the ocean. Suitablefor kids in pre-K through 1st grade. Adults areencouraged to read aloud to their young learnersand explore ideas together. The Discovery Corneris free with general admission; preregistration isnot required.

Art and Tours every weekend10 a.m. to 5 p.m. July 1, 6 - 8, 13 - 15, 20 - 22,27 - 29, Aug. 3 - 5, 10 - 12, 17 - 19, 24 - 26 and31. Old Mill Shoppes and Art Gallery, 6770 E.C.R. 750N, Fremont. Free Tours of the Mill andregional art from the Tri State area. Art FestivalJuly 28-29 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. [email protected].

Music Americana7 p.m. Steuben Community Center, 317 S.Wayne St., Angola. Local patriotic music,sponsored by the 101 Lakes Kiwanis.

TUESDAY, JULY 3Little River Ramblers9 a.m. July 3, 10, 17, 24 and 31. Eagle MarshBarn, South Side Engle Road, one-half mile eastof W Jefferson Blvd, Fort Wayne. Meet eachTuesday to hike and explore the preserve’sinteresting plants and wildlife. Sponsored byLittle River Wetlands Project. Free. [email protected] or 478-2515 for information.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 4Independence Day Celebration2-10 p.m. Bixler Lake Park, , Kendallville.Celebrate our country’s independence withfamily-friendly activities. Live music. Fireworks atdusk. Donations still needed. Call 347-1064 fordetails.

Note: Fireworks are scheduled for July 4 inAngola, Garrett, Topeka and Wolcottville;July 5 in Auburn Auction Park; July 7 inHamilton and Sept. 2 in Albion. Watchnewspapers and kpcnews.com for details.

THURSDAY, JULY 5Fireworks with RocketsKendallville Public Library, Kendallville. Shoot tothe library during this holiday week for fun thatwill explode! We’ll build and shoot rockets andcreate unique art that will light up the evening

sky. 1 p.m. at the Kendallville Public Library and 3p.m. at the Limberlost Public Library, Rome City.

$1 Night5-8 p.m. Botanical Conservatory, 1100 S.Calhoun St., Fort Wayne. On the first Thursday ofthe month we offer $1 admissions, 5-8 pm, foradults and children. Babies and up to age 2 arestill admitted free. Enjoy our evening hours and aspecial discount once a month. For more info,call 427-6440.

iPad Users Group7 p.m. July 5, 12, 19, 26, Aug. 2, 9, 16, 23 and30. Kendallville Public Library, , Kendallville. NewiPad users will discuss the use of apps and shareexperiences with the powers and the problems ofthe Apple iPad.

SATURDAY, JULY 7

LaGrange County 4-H FairJuly 7 - 14. LaGrange County Fairgrounds,1055E 075N, LaGrange. A week of wholesome

family fun. Online: lagrangecounty4hfair.com.

Wolf’s Swap Meet and Flea Market6 a.m. to 2 p.m. July 7 and Aug. 18. Wolf SwapGrounds, 4 miles south of Ligonier on US 33 and1 mile east on Albion Road, Wolf Lake. $4 percarload for lookers. For information: 635-2356.

Sylvan Springs Open House10 a.m. to 5 p.m. July 7; 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. July 8.Sylvan Springs, Northport Road, Rome City.Sneak peak at the future of Sylvan Springs, 2730E. Northport Road. Ask questions. Give us yourinput and ideas. Refreshments. Stroll thebeautiful grounds. Guided tours of main building($3 adults; $1 seniors and teens.).

SUNDAY, JULY 8Kosciusko FairJuly 8 - 14. Kosciusko County CommunityFairgrounds, 1400 East Smith Street, Warsaw.Kosciusko County Community Fair offers fun,exciting activities Theme is “Pioneer Days,Modern Ways” Visit kcfair.org or call 574-269-1823 for more info. Admission charged.

THURSDAY, JULY 12‘Legally Blonde: The Musical’July 12 - 15. Indiana University-Purdue University


CALENDAR

Elkhart CountyLaGrange County

Steuben County

DeKalb County

Noble County

KosciuskoCounty

WhitleyCounty

Allen County

AdamsCountyWells

County

HuntingtonCounty

Defiance County

Paulding County

Van Wert County

Williams CountyGoshen

Shipshewana

LaGrangeAngola

Kendallville

Albion

Auburn

Bryan

Columbia CityWarsaw

Fort Wayne

Decatur

Bluffton

Huntington

Paulding

Defiance

Van Wert

More events online at fwfamily.com.

SERVING THE GREATER FORT WAYNE AREA

Fort Wayne Williams Theatre, 2101 E. ColiseumBlvd., Fort Wayne. Showtimes: Thursday, July 12,at 7:30 p.m.; Friday, July 13, at 7:30 p.m.;Saturday, July 14, at 2 p.m.; Saturday, July 14, at7:30 p.m.; Sunday, July 15, at 2 p.m. Cost:Adults $10; Kids 12 and under $7. More info atsummermusictheatre.com.

‘Nightmare in Library Land’Kendallville Public Library, Kendallville. From themonster under your bed to “The Monster at theEnd of this Book,” we’ll cover them all, create ourown monsters, and learn about the phases of themoon. KPL 1 p.m. and Limberlost Public Libraryat 3 p.m.

FRIDAY, JULY 13Champions Cup Power Soccer National TournamentJuly 13 - 15. Turnstone Center for Children andAdults with Disabilities, 3320 North ClintonStreet, Fort Wayne. Call 483-2100 or visitTurnstone.org for more information.

Three Rivers FestivalJuly 13 - 21. Downtown Fort Wayne, Headwaters

Park. Parades, rides, crafts, music, food, muchmore. Free. Online: threeriversfestival.org.

Cruisin’ Main Street6-10 p.m. Downtown Kendallville, 100 MainStreet, Kendallville. Hang out in downtownKendallville. Cruise with your feet and visit somelocal businesses that are open late.

Little Women: The Musical7 p.m. July 13 - 14 and 18. PlymouthCongregational Church, 501 W. Berry St., FortWayne. Directed by Brent Blalock. Featuring thePlymouth Players. Free. Online: plymouthfw.org.

SATURDAY, JULY 14MusicfestDowntown Fremont in Steuben County. Musicalentertainment from jazz to country. Parades, kidsgames. Free. Contact: fremontchamber.org, 495-9010.

Noble County Community FairJuly 14 - 23. Noble County 4-H Fairgrounds,Kendallville. Free admission to FairgroundsJuly 16,17,25. Admission $5 per car at the gateJuly 18, noon to 8 p.m. and July 19-24 from 8a.m. to 8 p.m. Parking pass $5 weekly.Information at the Fair Office at the Fairgroundsin the Merchants Building. During fair calls canbe made to Fair Office, 347-0666. Online:noblecountyfair.org.

Soothing Summer GardensJuly 14 - Aug. 31. Botanical Conservatory, 1100


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S. Calhoun St., Fort Wayne. What could bemore restorative than a quiet stroll through asummer garden designed with restfulness inmind? Each small garden “room” will have itsown character and art piece to admire, withstrategic seating for those who wish to linger.

MONDAY, JULY 16Encourage, Empower and Enjoy the Autism Spectrum7-8:30 p.m. July 16 and Aug. 20. Easter SealsArc, 4919 Projects Drive, Fort Wayne. Parents,grandparents, teachers, professionals and otherswanting to learn more about autism arewelcome. Topics vary monthly. For more informa-tion contact Susan Crowell at [email protected] or call 637-4409.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 184-H Fair WeekKendallville Public Library, Kendallville. “4-H FairWeek;” What’s your dream? Maybe you can findit in the crazy variety of games/crafts/and funfrom 10 a.m. to noon in the activities pavilion atthe Noble County Fairgrounds. At 1 p.m. buzz infor a spelling bee and become the champion youknow you are.

FRIDAY, JULY 20Steuben County 4-H FairJuly 20 - 26. Steuben County 4-H Fairgrounds,Crooked Lake. Family fun. Fair is off C.R. 175N.Contact: 668-1000, ext. 1400.

Are You Smarter Than a Zoo Keeper?10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo, ,Fort Wayne. Go up against the pros to test youranimal knowledge. Free with zoo admission.kidszoo.org.

TUESDAY, JULY 24Cruise-in5 p.m. July 24 and Aug. 28. Downtown Orland,S.R. 327 and S.R. 120, Orland.

THURSDAY, JULY 26‘Sleeping Beauty’Kendallville Public Library, Kendallville. Steven’sPuppets will pop into the Kendallville Library at 1p.m. and the Limberlost Library at 3 p.m. for anextraordinary show featuring the sleepy princessand her friends.

SATURDAY, JULY 28‘Dreamgirls’July 28 - Aug. 12. Arts United Center, 303 E.Main St., Fort Wayne. Celebrating the magic oflive theater. Contact: fwcivic.org.

Summer FestFamily fun all day at Black Pine AnimalSanctuary, Albion. Phone: 636-7383, online:blackpine.org

THURSDAY, AUGUST 2Zoo Olympics10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo, ,Fort Wayne. Go for the gold as you discoveranimals’ amazing athletic abilities. Free with zoo

admission. The Fort Wayne Children’s Zoo is isconsistently named one of the nation’s Top TenZoos for Kids; 427-6800; kidszoo.org.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 3Habitat for Humanity FundraiserShipshewana Auction Barn, 345 S Van Buren St(Indiana SR 5), Shipshewana. LaGrange CountyHabitat for Humanity annual fund-raising auctionopens at 3:30 p.m. with the quilt auctionbeginning at 5. Locally made furniture and quilts.“Country Love,” a queen-sized quilt in shades ofblue and green, is sponsored by the board ofdirectors. Tools, electronics, misc. items. Alsosilent-auction bids for services by areamerchants. At 11 a.m. sandwich line will open,with the haystack supper beginning at 4 p.m.

JULIE LEE

“THIS PHOTOWAS TAKEN ona very hot dayat Hefner Fieldwhile mygranddaughterwas watchingher motherplay soccer,”wrote Julie Leeof Fort Wayne.

Fried pies, baked goods, canned beef, 4-H beefand pork also available. 22st home underconstruction. Also, “A Brush With Kindness,”offering home repairs or upgrades for needyfamilies. Contact: 463-8519 or 888-278-9329or lagrangehabitat.org.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 4

Third Annual Downtown Summer FestDowntown Hicksville Ohio. All-day eventfeaturing 5K walk/run, corn hole tournament,poker run, car show, children’s events, foodvendors, live bands and beer tent. Visit hicksvil-lechamber.org for more information.

Moonlit Garden Wine-tasting8-10 p.m. Gene Stratton-Porter State HistoricSite, 1205 Pleasant Point, Rome City. Wines,cheeses, hand-dipped strawberries. $25 perperson. Music by Manchester College. Proceedsgo toward educational programming, restoration,improvements at the site. Call 854-3790 by Aug. 1.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 11

EmpowHER Safety Day9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Public Safety Academy,7602 Patriot Crossing, Fort Wayne. Registrationbegins at 8 a.m. $25 per person includescontinental breakfast, boxed lunch, EmpowHERT-shirt, gift bag.Registration: publicsafetya-cademy.org. Wear athletic clothing due tohands-on self defense class and firearms demo.No sandals or open toed shoes.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 24

Raising Your Spirited Child7-9 p.m. Cornerstone at First Assembly of God,1400 West Washington Center Road, FortWayne. A free program for parents and teachers;no registration required. Sponsored by EarlyChildhood Alliance with a grant from the AWSFoundation and Dekko Foundation. ContactTricia Willard at 745-2501 [email protected] or visit ECAlliance.org.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25Easels on West Maumee10 a.m. to 5 p.m. West Maumee Street, Angola.Art, music and food highlighting local talent.

Raising Your Spirited Child9-11 a.m. ENHS Cole Auditorium. See Page 12.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 30Auburn Cord Duesenberg FestivalAug. 30 - 31. Auburn, Auburn. Community wide.Enjoy the Parade of Classics, downtown cruise-in, ice cream social, antique show, collector carauctions and much more. Contact: acdfes-tival.org; 925-3600.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 31Ligonier Marshmallow FestivalDowntown Ligonier, Ligonier. Selected ABA’sTop 100 Events in North America for grouptravel. Crafts, amusement rides, car show,entertainment, games, food. Free. Contact:themarshmallowfestival.com; 215-1982.

Note: All area codes are 260 unlessotherwise specified.


CALENDAR

301 S. Oak Street, Kendallville260-347-2444 • www.stjohneagles.org

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