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    Keep Them Coming: Ideas for Closing

    the Back Door of Your ChurchAn e-book from ChurchLeaders.com

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    Visitor Assimilation Its Not Rocket Science!

    By Charles Arn

    I sat affixed in front of my TV. THE BORG had just captured my hero andbrought him onboard.

    You will be assimilated, a hideous-looking Borg intoned, raising histentacles to the temples of Star Trek s Captain Picard. Resistance is futile!

    No, I shouted. Dont! It will be all over! I couldnt look (eventhough I knew what was going to happen, since I had seen the show before).Captain Picard was about to lose his ability to think for himself. He was going to

    be (gasp!) assimilated. A more intellectual approach to the term takes us to thedictionary, where assimilate is defined: To include into the larger whole; toinvolve; to make one. Moreover, Scripture offers numerous insights into theimportance of our assimilation into the Body of Christ:

    The kingdom of faith is now your home country. You are no longer strangers oroutsiders. You belong here (Eph. 2:19, The Message).

    While ultimately, assimilation into a local church is a spiritual process, it can befacilitated by a loving church thats committed to making those connections.Heres a look at the critical checkpoints in the process of seeing outsidersbecoming insiders. How is your church doing in each area?

    Attracting First-time Visitors

    You cant assimilate visitors if you dont have any. Thus, an obvious prerequisiteto effective assimilation is having enough visitors. How many are enough?According to The Church Growth Ratio Book (Church Growth Inc.), 5% of agrowing churchs total weekend attendance should be first-, second- or third-time visitors. Most churches average 1 to 2% visitorswhich is one reason whymost U.S. churches arent growing.

    Making the Right Impression

    What kind of first impressions does your church make on visitors? Mostchurches dont know because their regular attendees can no longer see thechurch through a newcomers eyes. But first impressions have everything to dowith whether or not visitors will return.

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    The first 10 minutes of the visitors experience present primeopportunities to say, Welcome. If you were to visit Calvary ChristianReformed Church in Pella, Iowa, youd be met in the parking lot by welcominghosts. First Evangelical Free Church in Fullerton, Calif., stations hosts wearingred blazers and a Questions? button. The first 10 minutes before a service are

    an important time for making good first impressions, but apparently not themost important time.

    The Most Important Factor

    At Church Growth Institute, we have interviewed people after their first visit to achurch. We asked: What most impressed (or depressed) you about the churchyou had just visited? One answer far outdistanced all others: the friendliness ofthe church.

    So, how did you determine whether or not the church was friendly? we

    then asked. Simple, they told us. It was whether or not anyone talked tous. Well, my friends, its apparently not rocket science, after all. There is asimple, yet profound relationship between the number of people who talk to afirst-time visitor, and a visitors impression of the friendliness of that church:Many conversations = friendly church; few conversations = unfriendly church.The perceived friendliness of your church is the most significant factor inwhether or not a first-time visitor will return.

    Critical Endings

    We asked one more question in our study: When did you conclude that the

    church was or wasnt a friendly church? The most frequent response surprisedus. There is a 10-minute window in the 75 to 90 minutes most people spend intheir first church visit, and that window is critical for the first impression offriendliness. When? It is the first 10 minutesfollowing the service.

    The rules are now off. The people are who they really are. And thatswhen it really shows, our subjects said.

    A few years ago, my family and I visited Cornerstone Bible Church inGlendora, Calif., while looking for a new church following our move. At the endof the service, the pastor said to the congregation: Now, before we go,remember our three-minute rule here: No one can talk with a person they know

    for the first three minutes after the service. You can sit and meditate. You canleave silently. Or, you can talk with someone you dont know. Most chose thelatter. I found it a freeing experience, which allowed me to turn to a strangerand start a conversation. Our three-minute conversation lasted 15 minutes.And guess who we looked for at that church when we returned for a secondvisit?

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    Returning: Seeing Visitors Come Back

    Upon closer study of the visitor assimilation process, a remarkable patternappears. Remarkable, but logical: The more often visitors return, the more likelyit is that they will stay.

    Several years ago, we conducted a study on visitor return rates. We askedchurches to identify a continuous six-week period and observe the number ofpeople who visited once, twice or three times in that timeframe. Then, one yearlater, we asked the churches to determine how many of those people had joinedor become active.

    We found that 9% of those who visited non-growing churches one timeduring that six weeks became involved in that church the following year.However, of those who visited twice in the six-week period, 17% subsequentlybecame active. And, even in non-growing churches, more than one-third of thenewcomers who visited three times were now participating in that church.

    Electronic Support

    The question should leap off the page: Do we have an effective visitor follow-upsystem for more than just our first-time visitors? Tracking, contacting andfollowing up on your visitors, new attendees and even regular attendees can bedifficult and time-intensive. Yet, nothing is worse than someone falling throughthe cracks. Many churches have begun to use computer-based databases andvisitor assimilation software. While these programs range in capabilities,sophistication and price, most churches have found that having some type ofcomputer-based solution for tracking attendees is now a necessity.

    Nurturing: Building Relationships with Newcomers

    Try asking your new members the same question weve asked more than 40,000laypeople in the past 11 years: Why did you join this church? If your peopleare typical, 75% to 90% of them will mention a friend or relative as a key partof the process.

    Relationships have been the most important factor in the expansion ofChristianity since the first century. An effective assimilation strategy, therefore,will create a greenhouse in which new relationships between newcomers and

    church members are nurtured.In my own case, an important part of our eventual church selection grew

    from an invitation I received two days after our first visit. It was an invitation tobecome part of the church softball team. My wife was later invited to be part of awomens Bible study.

    Joining: Affiliation and Membership

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    A missing assimilation link in many churches is the Inquirers Class, whereanyone can learn more about the church no strings attached. Our experience isthat 85% of all graduates from such a class decide to join.

    Have high expectations for your new members. St. Pauls LutheranChurch in Trenton, Mich., tells its class that every member is expected to: 1) be

    regular in worship, 2) be involved in a small group, 3) give financially and 4)have a ministry in the church consistent with their spiritual gift. No wonder St.Pauls has a high member-to-attendance ratio and a low dropout rate.

    Make the Connection

    Assimilation. Its not rocket science. But, neither is it all intuitive. Theres muchto learn. But its well worth our effort to learn it. For theres no doubt that theheart of God is filled with joy when the sheep He places in our care are allpresent and accounted forin your church.

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    8 Reasons Why People Aren't Coming Back

    By Greg Atkinson

    As a secret shopper or mystery worshiper of churches around the country, Ivefound there are some reasons that I will tell a church I would not return for asecond visit, and some may be news to you. Whether Im working with a churchplant of 60 people or a mega-church of over 15,000, some things are universaland should be present regardless of church size.

    Throughout this post, well look at actions and areas every church needsto address.

    1. The Front Door

    Before a guest ever steps foot on your churchs physical campus, he or she hasprobably already checked out your church Web site.

    What every church should have clearly visible on their homepage is asection or button for first-time guests. Once clicked on, this should take you to apage that addresses FAQs, service times, directions, parking instructions (isthere a side of the building that is better to park on if one has kids?), what toexpect (upbeat music and relevant, practical, Biblical preaching in a come as youare atmosphere, etc.), what to wear (are jeans okay? are shorts okay?), andencouragement for them to be sure to stop by Guest Central or your churchsInformation Booth to pick up a first-time guest packet.

    2. What Stinks?

    Its important that no church ever underestimates the sense of smell. While sightis the strongest sense for short-term memory, the sense of smell is the strongestand most vivid for long-term memories.

    If youve ever smelled something and had memories you hadnt thoughtof in years come flooding back, thats your sense of smell in action.

    Every church has the potential for positive or negative smells. Mold is abad smell. Coffee is a good smell. Bleach is a bad smell. Citrus is a good smell.

    Many churches have restrooms that are disgusting and smell bad. This lack ofattention to detail can be costly and discourage many from ever returning.As best you can, try to walk into the lobby or entrance of your church with

    a new nose.

    3. Park Here

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    One of Tim Stevens three growth lids that he thinks every growing churchshould have is someone who is constantly watching is parking.

    Tim says, This is why Visitor Parking is so crucial. If its difficult fornewcomers to go to your church, they wont go. Some would argue that guestswant to remain anonymous and dont want special parking.

    Of course, some want to go unnoticed and will choose to park in regularparking (a minority), but for the rest of newcomers, they are appreciative for aclose parking space; its a kind gesture in an already intimidating and nerve-racking experience of attending a church for the first time, especially a large onewith a huge campus.

    4. This Way, Parents

    One way to assure guests will not return is to have a confusing, long, or hard tofind process for getting their kids registered and in the right classroom. Wise

    churches have signs for first-time guest kids check-in and make the processquick and painless.

    Regular attendees may know to go up to the check-in kiosk and enter theirphone number or swipe their card, but guests will be clueless and need amanned station that is clearly marked for guests with a volunteer to walk themthrough the registration. Then have that person or another helper walk you toyour kids class, explaining what will be going on and how to go about pickingtheir kids back up. If they must have a sticker with corresponding numbers on itto get their kids, this needs to be explained to them.

    Signage for the kids check-in should start in the entryway of the guest

    parking. Do not assume people know where to go once they enter the building.

    5. Give It Away

    Something subtle but powerful is a church that has a generous spirit. ChrisHodges at Church of the Highlands in Birmingham, AL, is big on this. They havea coffee shop, but they also have a designated area where people can get freecoffee and not pay anything. They also give away their message CDs.

    Too many churches charge for everything and wonder why no one buysCDs of the message. If you want to bless people and create a generous spiritthroughout your church, give away free coffee and message CDs (and other

    surprises throughout the year).Chris Hodges will have ice cream trucks pull up outside the church doors

    and give away free ice cream to congregants leaving on a hot, summer day.

    6. Security Counts

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    One issue that is huge to a secret shopper and visiting families is security. If aparent is worried about their childs safety, they will not enjoy the service andwill likely not return.

    A childrens classroom must be clean, safe, and secure. Security alsoincludes the check-out process. If anyone can walk into a classroom and pick up

    a kid, youre asking for trouble and will turn off potential newcomers. Itsimportant that your kids volunteers are trained well and know to ask for theparents sticker when picking up their kids.

    This is vital and goes a long way to ensuring a tragedy doesnt occur and aparent has peace of mind.

    7. The Visible Pastor

    Accessibility of the senior pastor is another subtle and powerful statement of achurch. Even pastors of the largest churches in America make an intentional and

    strategic effort to be seen, greeted, and hugged after a service. They may have abodyguard present for security reasons, but they are available and willing topray with people that need to speak to their pastor.

    Some churches have a designated Guest Central, like Steve Stroope atLake Pointe in Rockwall, TX, or Brady Boyd at New Life in Colorado Springs.Some have a Meet and Greet like Charles Hill in Utah. Some pastors standdown at the altar and meet and pray with people like Kevin Myers at 12Stone inAtlanta. Some walk around the campus shaking hands like Don Wilson atChrists Church of the Valley in Phoenix.

    Erwin McManus at Mosaic LA has an After Party, at which the pastor is

    present and available to meet with newcomers. This, especially in a large church,goes a long way toward countering the rock star or unavailable pastor stigmathat so many guests walk into the church expecting.

    8. Finish Strong

    Its simply not enough for greeters and parking lot attendants to say Hello orWelcome when one walks into their church. To go to another level, have yourfirst impressions team stationed at their posts when the service ends to say,Goodbye or Have a nice week.

    This goes a long way to wrapping a bow around the entire morning

    experience and will send them off with a lasting positive impression.Do these 8 things and youll see a greater return and higher percentage of

    second- and third-time guests.

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    10 Ways to Know Someone is Leaving Your Church

    By Brian Dodd

    Does it bother you when someone leaves your church? The reality is that everychurch has a back door. The key leadership question that must be asked is notAre we going to lose people? The reality is that you are.

    Here are the warning signs that indicate a potential move towards the backdoor is underway. If you see the following items, you should proactivelyreconnect and rebuild the relationship:

    1. A decrease or complete loss in financial support. The last thing that comes isa persons money. The first thing that goes is a persons money.

    2. The wifes body language. If you want to know if a man is happy, alwayslook at his wife.

    3. Tardiness to responsibilities. This indicates a loss of passion.

    4. Minor items cause major frustrations. This indicates a lack of patience withthe ministry.

    5. Complaining. This indicates broad-based frustration with the ministry.

    6. Excitement over another churchs vision. People naturally navigate towards abrighter tomorrow.

    7. Divorce. When a divorce takes place, one individual will often leave thechurch. Sadly, the other person finds it difficult to fit in with their marriedfriends and often leaves to start over at a different congregation. Having thechildren firmly planted into the church is the key to retaining this relationship.

    8. Resignation of a volunteer position. This is the beginning of removingresponsibilities and attachments.

    9. No connection to a small group. If a person cannot connect relationally, theywill leave the church.

    10. A Mega-church opens a satellite location in your community. This isfunnybut true.

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    My desire for you is to build a strong leadership culture at your church. Usethis list to help keep leaders who can help you advance the mission and vision ofthe church.

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    5 Creative Ideas for Welcoming New Guests

    By Mary Margaret Gibson

    My friend Marjorie moved to my town to be closer to her family. She is a peopleperson. When she visited my church for the first time, even if every other thinghad been just right, she might have gone to another church if people had notbeen friendly!

    Steve thought he might visit a church in his neighborhood, but it wasreally hard to make himself go. He didnt know much about Jesus. But a friend ofhis said he liked the mens Bible study, and his friend didnt know much morethan Steve did, so he thought he might go and look it over. It took three weeksfor him to get up the courage to walk into a church alone.

    Betty is a single mom with three children in elementary school. More than

    anything, she wants Christian friends and Biblical discipleship for herself andher young family.

    People like these are in your community and may be visiting your churchon any given Sunday. But remember, although there are visitors, there is no"typical" visitor. Here are some tips to help you engage all guests moreeffectively.

    Idea #1: Provide Welcome Centers

    Put a Welcome Center at every entrance to the church that a visitor might use on

    a Sunday. Put joyful individuals (not scary, over-the-top people-grabbers) atthose centers to welcome people. At the centers, provide the church newsletter, aCD or DVD of a previous sermon, a list of some of the church projects and aleaflet with a short description of all the Sunday school classes and plannedshort-term mission trips. If you have youth and other specialty groups, make aleaflet for each one, describing what they do and when and where they meet. Aninvestment in this center will pay off.

    Idea #2: Offer maps of your campus and directions.

    Guests can't go to places they can't find. Make a really colorful map of yourcampus, even if it is tiny. If you are in a neighborhood with lots of children,make a color, easy-to-read map, and on the reverse, put the map outline only sothe younger kids can color it and print the locations on it during church.

    Put up directional signs, not just ads for whats going on at church. Usewhatever languages are appropriate for your neighborhood.

    Idea #3: Update your website.

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    Declutter it and get all the ancient stuff out of there. Get six new people to tellyou whats wrong with it and why they still cant find information on the currentevening or home Bible studies. What did they try to find that they would never,ever find?

    Idea #4: Prepare regular attendees to respond well to guests.

    If theres no joy in our churches, dont you think we should get to work on thatbefore we invite anyone to come?

    Stand up in the front and watch your congregation for a couple ofSundays. Do they sing? Well, get them to sing! Do they smile? Do they actuallytalk with one another before the service starts? Do they greet new people? Whenthey greet new people, do they tell them anything valuable? For example, dothey say, Youll love our church. We take care of each other here. Or do they

    say, Some of the best friends Ive ever had in my life I made in this great,friendly church. If they dont, suggest that they start saying good things whenthey meet someone they dont know.

    Do they ask any questions about people they dont know? Do they saysomething like, Ive missed meeting you before. My name is Paul Smith and thisis my wife, Betty. Weve been in the area for about five years. How about you?Believe us: Some people do not talk to other people. Encourage this conversation,and tell people to do this before the service starts.

    Idea #5: Put lots of ways to connect into your church.

    If you have a website, make that website work for you. Have a button that says,Just Checking Us Out? and another that says, Ready to Get Connected?Behind Just Checking, put all the basic, simple information about the churchand how to find things, park, get to meetings, services they can get from theoffice and on the Web, and hours for all the activities. Put your beliefs there anda simple presentation of the Gospel (you can use EvanTell's video fromYouTube). Behind Ready, put all the service projects, all the small groupcontacts, the Sunday school and evening/morning Bible classes, AlcoholicsAnonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, GriefShare, and any other help groups youhave with contact people and emails and phone numbers.

    The BESTIdea #6: Have some FUN with these new folks! God sent them toyou for a really good reason!

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    7 Keys to Keeping New Guests

    By Rob Overton

    1. Measure what is measurable

    While worship attendance is hard to capture, adult small-groups classes arerelatively simple. Children's activities are the simplest of all since security issuesrequire us to keep accurate records anyway. So, measure what you can measure.Yes, you will get push-back from some of your established groups, but if yougive them some context, you will get their support. By context, I mean they haveto understand the issue is bigger than their group. If you show them you aretrying to be good stewards of these people who are your responsibility, they will

    usually get on board.Ask them to help you be faithful with your responsibility.

    2. Catch people on their way out of the back door

    One of the fundamental mistakes I see churches make is to focus on what hashappened in the past. It is not that looking back is not of value, it just won't helpyou get anyone back! Gone is gone! Think of it this way: If someone gets upsetand you recognize they are about to leave, you can intervene and smooth thesituation. But if that person leaves, gets home and settles into their favorite chairin front of the TV, what are the odds of getting them to come back? Not very

    good, are they? It takes a person about four weeks to move from, "Idon't think the church cares about me" to, "I know the church does not care aboutme." Catch them on the way out and this can be prevented.

    3. Know who you expect to attend

    In order to know who was not in attendance, you have to know who wassupposed to be in attendance. This sounds simple, but it is often counter to theway churches have kept their records for years. This means you are going tohave to do some work to keep class rosters clean enough to know the difference.For example, a list of 100 kids who missed the past three classes is too large for

    you to effectively contact. In reality, there might only be five kids in that list of100 who have been attending in the past few months. These five kids represent thefive families that are on their way out the back door!

    This is the information you desperately need to know, and it is so oftenburied in the attendance reports of the church.

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    4. Use the right people to reach out to them

    In a group setting, sometimes the problem is a disconnect between the groupitself and the person who is leaving. In this situation, the group leader is not in a

    position to help. This where the church staff can be very effective by helpingpeople find a place where they fit better or acting as an intermediary to rectify adispute.Make sure to offer a graceful way back in. I think people don't want to hurtanyone's feelings and think the easiest way to solve a problem is to just leave. Ifthey are assured it is OK to try a new group or a new volunteer position, and thatit might make all the difference.

    5. Focus onfamilies

    For the most part, children do not attend church on their own. So, if little Johnny

    has not been to his 4-year-old Sunday school class in three weeks, it is a very safeassumption Mom and Dad have not been there either. Since it is much easier totrack children and students, use that information to prompt your efforts towardthe families of those kids. This is particularly true of a family where the parentsare not active in any other area than worship. Let the ministry area try toreconnect the individual, but treat a third or fourth time absentee as anopportunity to connect a family.

    6. Build retention mechanisms and processes

    Mechanisms are just ways to find out who is leaving. This can be in the form ofreports from your attendance records. It can also be from feedback from peoplein the church. You have to establish some policies on what kind of attendancepattern will trigger your retention processes. In some churches, this might bethree absences in a row, while others might use four or five. Just make sure tostick to what is happening rather than what happened!

    Yourprocesses are the methods you put in place to make sure those whoare identified are contacted and assisted. This might include phone calls, emails,letters, texts, Facebook notes or any other method of communication that wouldbe effective. These contacts have to be personal. No matter the form ofcommunication used, sincerity and authenticity will be of the utmost importance.

    If people in the church trust you have good processes to follow up withpeople, I have found they are much more willing to share information withchurch leaders. They will not share information with you if they don't think itwill make any difference.

    7. Build processes for the major emphasis areas of the church

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    The difference between good intentions and success is often determined by thepresence of a logical process. Constructed correctly, no one should ever slipthrough the cracks once they are identified. This is the same thing that must bedone in an assimilation process for a newcomer to the church. The onlydifference is it has to be handled a bit differently. The processes you build will be

    logical steps that will lead to participation in that particular area of your church.This might be connection groups, serving opportunities, leadership roles,spiritual formation steps or any other activity you consider to be part of your"church core."

    I have spent thousands of hours helping churches build connection,assimilation and retention processes. As every church is unique, the processesare always slightly different. The most important element is an acknowledgmentthat it is critically important to guard the back door of the church. Churchmanagement systems (ChMS) today offer many ways to facilitate theseprocesses, but they still require careful configuration and a very intentional

    approach to be effective. I have a good deal of experience in these systems, and itis important to choose one that fits your needs and is flexible enough to work theway you need it to work.

    I encourage you to step back and critically look at the situation at yourchurch. If possible, bring in an objective third party to help you see what youcan't see because of your proximity. As I have worked with churches across thecountry, I have found I can see both problems and possibilities in a situation justbecause I am a little removed from the day-to-day ministry of that particularchurch. I have been told many times by pastors that their stress level waslowered considerably when they established good processes of connection, care

    and retention. This is not one of those problems for which there is no answer. Ibelieve any church can guard their back door if they are serious about it.

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    Should We Pursue Those Leaving the Church?

    By Brad Powell

    Q: Our church has been in transition for about 15 months, and we are stillslowly losing people. The major problem and disappointment comes when thepeople who leave are dishonest with me and minimize the magnitude of theirdisagreement. Yet, they malign me to other members on their way out. Wouldyou advise pursuing these members and lay leaders who are leaving ourchurch or indicating theyre about to leave?

    A: I cant tell you how common this problem is and how often Ive experiencedit in my own leadership. To both react and lead properly in this challenge, Ive

    chosen a foundational principle that I build my life and leadership on: I have tolove people without needing them.

    In the early days of my ministry, I loved growthwhich I translated assuccessso I did whatever it took to keep every single person in our church.To me, each person represented growth and size. Anyone leaving seemed torepresent failure. But I soon learned that this attitude was both unhealthy anddestructive. It caused me to fight to keep people in the church who wereundercutting the vision, biblical values, and enthusiasm we needed to reach newpeople and grow. They also were stifling the credibility and influence I wasbuilding as a leader.

    Realize this: people who are talking about leaving your church fornegative reasons will not be positive or supportive. As a result, they will make ittheir goal to influence other people to think and act negatively. So I dont advisepursuing them or attempting to get them to stay. It wont be positive for yourchurch or for them. Instead, as pastors we must love them enough to let them goand find a church that lives up to their expectations. We must love them withoutneeding them. When we need them, we compromise the good of the church tokeep them.

    I dont have to tell you that trying to keep these people isnt healthy orGod-honoring leadership. The good shepherd protects the sheep from exposureto harmful and destructive elements, and this is the role we have as pastors.Nothing is more destructive than a wolf dressed up in sheeps clothing. So youmust protect your church from people like this.

    In the early days of our transition at NorthRidge, a young couples class ofnearly 60 people walked out of the church. Because the average age of ourcongregation was 60-plus, losing young people was about the worst thing thatcould happen to us. The only thing worse wouldve been surrendering our visionand values to their agenda in order to keep them. Though I desperately wanted

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    them to stay, I knew I couldnt allow myself to need them more than I needed tomake the right decisions as a leader. The situation was difficult, but the short-term loss has allowed our church to experience long-term gain we would neverhave found if Id tried to keep them.

    This heart-wrenching loss taught me a valuable lesson. Sometimes the best

    thing that can happen for the health of a church is for the right people to leave.By the right people, I dont necessarily mean bad or ungodly people. Though tobe honest, this is sometimes the case. Rather, I mean those people who, forwhatever reason, will never be part of the church moving forward. I stronglybelieve that you should let them go. But be prepared. These people dontgenerally leave quietly or respectfully. Ill never forget the very public words onedisgruntled lady directed my way as she was leaving for the last time: Youhave the face of an angel, but the heart of a thief. Ouch. When people leave thisway, they seldom are content to leave alone. Just remember: the negative splashwont last long, but the health and peace that follows will have long-term

    positive impact.Of course, youll always have caveats. If the problem stems from a

    misunderstanding with people who have proven to be good-hearted and havebought into the churchs new direction, pursuing a fix could very well be worthit. And I encourage you to do everything you can to mend those relationships.Though we must be willing to lose people, its certainly not the goal. But if fixingthe misunderstanding requires you to change your ministry direction, its notworth it.

    Experience has shown me that negative people only have one agendatospread their negativity. So you must get them out fast, and then protect the rest

    of the congregation. When these situations erupted in our church, Id calltogether anyone or any groups of people I knew who had heard the negativecomments and Id spend time with them. Id lay out the situation before themand talk about what they had heard versus the reality of the situation. In mostcases, this honest interaction protected our church from misperceptions ofreality, as well as the negative ripple effect that happens when people dontknow the truth.

    But remember to address the issue with only the people potentiallyinfluenced by the negativity. Many years ago, my dad gave me goodcounsel: dont bring a hundred people in on something that only affects three. Sowhile its your responsibility to protect the church, make sure youre talking tothe appropriate people. Ive known many leaders who compounded the problemby introducing it to a larger group than necessary.

    And remember, you must love people without needing them.

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    Squaring Off with Church Dropout

    By Sam Rainer

    When my father, Thom S. Rainer, and I began looking at research about theyoung adult population, we were stunned. We knew anecdotally that peopleleave the church. And studying the latest research, we understood that manyleave the church during their young adult years. What we did not realize was theconcentration of people that leave during their college-age years.

    The dropout number that the research uncovered alarmed us: 70% ofyoung adults drop out between the ages of 18 and 22. The number alone isnumbing. Perhaps more distressing are some of the reasons why these students

    are leaving.

    Why Do Dropouts Leave?

    Their faith doesnt look like their parents faith. This generation likes to talkabout faith. Many believe, rightly or wrongly, that they have faith. Religiousmatters do not scare them. Most maintain some level of interest in spiritualtopics. But this generation must fuse faith and church, or else they see no reasonto stay in church. Frankly, the faith of their parents is not reason enough for themto claim it as their own.

    One of the most glaring issues of estrangement for 18-22 year-olds is thegap between their personal belief system and their churchs stated beliefs. Inother words, the churchs external beliefs, covenant, or confession goes againstthe personal and internal belief structure of the younger adult crowd. In fact,only 53% of all young adult churchgoers state that they agree with the beliefs oftheir church. Clearly, the dropout crisis isnt found in the style, venue, programs,or location of the church. This crisis is much deeper it runs to the core of thedoctrinal truths of the church if only half of our young adults agree with thechurchs teachings.

    Their lives change, and church attendance gets cut.Ninety-seven percentof dropouts stated that one reason they left the church was a change in their

    lives. Of all the major categories prompting someone to leave the church, this lifechange category was by far the most influential.

    The top ten life changes that affect the younger generations churchattendance are as follows:

    1. They simply want a break from church.2. They move to college.3. Work responsibilities change.

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    4. They move too far away from church.5. They become too busy, though still want to attend.6. They spend more time with friends outside of church.7. School responsibilities prevent them from attending church.8. They want to make life decisions not accepted by the church.

    9. Family and/or home responsibilities prevent them from attending.10. They lose touch with churchgoing friends.They see hypocrisy in the home. The age-old excuse of church hypocrisy

    has some merit, but our research found a new spin on the issue as it relates toyoung adults. This time, the problem of hypocrisy isnt rooted in generalperceptions of the church as a whole. The dropouts see spiritual hypocrisy intheir own family.

    Parents are attending church, and their young adult children see themparticipating in the worship service. But parents are not offering spiritualguidance to their young adult children. Basically, parents are not doing what

    they say, or perhaps more appropriately, parents are not saying as they do.How Can the Church Reclaim Dropouts?

    The tone of religious research can be quite negative. Numerous studies,including my own, point to the shortcomings in discipleship, assimilation, andother ministry areas. But I believe that God is still doing a great work in theAmerican church. Quite frankly, many churches out there are reaching theyounger generation. Some common themes exist in these churches that helpthem accomplish the goal of reaching and keeping this generation of dropouts.

    By moving from complexity to simplicity. The structure of the church isnot nearly as important as other aspects, but the structure is the bones of achurch. Without a clear structure, the ministries of the church have little muscle.Churches that keep dropouts have a simple structure. They have one simplemission statement that everyone knows, not fourteen different statements thathave been piecemealed over several years. In this simplicity, they are intentionalabout a process of discipleship. This process is clear to everyone in the church. Inother words, people understand how the church makes disciples, not just what thechurch slogan is.

    One of every five dropouts indicated that they had no meaningfulrelationships with other members of the church. That is a clear sign of poor

    structure. A healthy structure is designed with intentionality to move membersinto small groups, Bible study classes, and ministry groups. It is in the context ofthose groups that relationships are formed.

    A complex church will have a plethora of activities as well as too manyorganizations and programs. Despite the multitudes of programs, a complexchurch is typically weak at bringing members into meaningful Christian

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    relationships with one another. Frankly, these churches are just too busy atactivities to be intentional at most anything, except maintaining their activities.

    By moving from shallowness to depth. Depth and relevance are notmutually exclusive. A church can connect with people without compromisingthe fundamentals of the faith.

    A number of dropouts admitted that they were biblically ignorant. Theyconfessed that they only had a shallow knowledge of biblical doctrines. Andwhile they usually took personal responsibility for their lack of biblicalunderstanding, they also blamed many of the churches for the doctrinalignorance.

    Over half of the church dropouts left the church because of differences oruncertainty about the churchs religious, ethical, or political beliefs. At least partof this problem can be directly attributed to shallow biblical teaching andpreaching in the church. One dropout indicated that the doctrinal teaching at hisformer church was piecemeal Christianity.

    I would hear about passages from three or four books of the Bible in asingle sermon, but I couldnt figure out how they tied together, one dropouttold us. And then I would go to a small group, and we would talk about somegreat issues, but no one explained how it tied in to the totality of Scripture. I feltso embarrassed about not knowing where the books of the Bible were located, soI taught myself. After four years at that church, I had not received any significantdoctrinal teachings. I cant blame anyone but myself for not being in somechurch, but I can blame the shallow teachings of my former church for at leastpart of the reason I left.

    The younger generation is, for the most part, bright and eager to learn. We

    do them a great disservice by failing to challenge them and instruct them in thedepths of Gods word.By moving from low expectations to high expectations. Most young

    adults will seek employment. Why? It is expected of them. Most young adultswill complete a level of education. Why? It is expected of them. Most youngadults will remain loyal to friends and social networks. Why? It is expected ofthem.

    But over two-thirds of young adults that leave the church will drop outbefore their twenty-second birthday. Why? Church was an option. Churchexisted to serve them. In most cases, serving others through the church wasnever an expectation. Low-expectation churches make it too easy for youngadults to drop out. And if you dont expect a behavior, you are unlikely to get it.

    Most of recent American church history has had low-expectations.Because the local church was comprised mostly of volunteers, leadership hasbeen reticent to create an environment and attitude of accountability. As aconsequence, membership expectations have been communicated with extremecaution, if at all, lest the members become offended and leave.

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    This low-expectation environment has been normative for most of thechurches in which young adults have attended. Most of them have heard verylittle, if any, of what is expected of them as a church member. As a consequence,they have seen church as a low priority or even optional.

    Through parents providing spiritual guidance to their children.Doing

    church is not enough. Parents must talk to their children about why church andspirituality are essential. Children and teens must hear regularly from theirparents or guardians as well as seeing their actions: do as I do, and hear what Isay. The spiritual guidance that children hear from their parents weighs equallywith the actions they see from them.

    By moving from inward decline to outward multiplication. Luke states itas matter-of-fact in Acts 2:47: And every day the Lord added to them thosewho were being saved. He makes it seem that multiplication was just a naturalpart of the New Testament church. Why? Because it was.

    The church that is not multiplying, not reaching people, not starting new

    churches, and not involved in missions is the New Testament anomaly.Unfortunately, we have a lot of anomalies among our churches today.

    Many of our churches are producing a lot of soft and self-centeredChristians, and the young people in our churches are getting the message.Through the actions of many of our church leaders, they are hearing that thechurch is all about them, that the church is there to serve them, and that thechurch is a place for all their needs and desires to be met.

    But churches that are outwardly focused are sending a differentmessage: The church is not all about my needs; its about how I can glorify God as Imeet the needs of others. This is the irony of the essential church. The outwardly-

    focused church creates better inwardly-focused assimilation. As our youngpeople meet the needs of others, they see that they are important to the life of thechurch, and thus they are prone not to enter the ranks of the dropouts.

    The church that is essential to the lives of the young adult generation isthe church that communicates a process of discipleship through a simplestructure. The essential church does not separate depth and relevance; the two gohand-in-hand. The essential church that reclaims dropouts holds this generationto a reasonable level of expectations. And the church that resonates with thedropout generation is one that maintains a culture of multiplication.

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    First Impressions: My VIP Experience at Elevation

    By Tim Schraeder

    First impressions matter. Oftentimes in the programming and planning of churchservices, we can quickly neglect an important aspect of our worship gatherings:how we welcome first-time visitors.

    As I travel around and visit churches, one thing I love to do is play thepart of a secret shopper and experience how a first-time guest is welcomed at achurch. I thought I had seen and heard all of the tricks and styles of welcomingvisitors to churches, but my recent visit to Elevation Church in Charlotte, N.C.,changed my perception. They literally treat their first-time visitors like VIPs.

    Heres how it went down:

    Rock Star Parking

    When we pulled up to the campus, there was a sign for first-time visitors to turnon their hazard lights to let the parking lot volunteers direct you to the VIPParking reserved for guests. We did and were given a parking spot literally stepsfrom the front door of the church.

    A VIP Welcome

    As we were parking, a volunteer came to our car and welcomed us. She wasincredibly friendly and genuinely acted excited that we were there. Sheexplained to us that at Elevation Church, every guest is treated like a VIP. Shethen handed us a VIP brochure that included a short note from Pastor StevenFurtick, notes for where to go for your first-time visit, info for families withchildren, and ways to connect at the church. There was also an audio CDattached to the brochure that had a few songs written by the Elevation worshipteam and a message from Pastor Steven. All this in the first 45 seconds of beingon their property.

    An Incentive to Get Your Info

    We were also handed information cards and a pen and told that if we would fillthose out and return them to a designated spot after the service, they woulddonate $1 to a local charity as thanks for sharing our information with them. Thatwas pretty cool. Even though I was an out-of-towner, I loved the idea that I couldchip in and help a local charity.

    http://www.elevationchurch.org/http://www.elevationchurch.org/
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    Warm Greetings All Around

    As we walked in, the VIP brochure I was holding was a dead giveaway to thevolunteers, and each one of them greeted us enthusiastically. But I will add, it

    wasnt too much and didnt seem pushy. (I would note we were in the South;people are just friendlier there.) The volunteer that met us at our car literallywalked with us into the auditorium and led us to an usher who directed us toour seat. Unreal.

    Great Welcome From the Front

    We all know how awkward those if anyone is new here, please raise your handmoments can be in church. At Elevation, they didnt put any pressure on you toacknowledge your newness, but rather warmly welcomed all of the VIPs of the

    day and reiterated how we could get connected and where to go after the serviceto get more information.

    I Got a Free T-shirt

    So after the service (which was great) was over, I went to the table we weredirected to go to with our info cards. Some of the volunteers recognized me andasked what I thought of the service and wanted to know about my experience. Iturned in my visitor card, and then they asked me if I wanted a T-shirt. Yes, anElevation Church T-shirt. That may have been a little over-the-top for me, but itwas still cool that for every first-time guest, theyd invest as much as they did.Now I can literally say I went there and got a T-shirt.

    As I was driving away, I was blown away by the experience. The servicewas great and the message was challenging, but it was the welcome I receivedthat really made the entire experience. If I had been new to Charlotte and lookingfor a church home, theres no doubt that my reception and welcome at Elevationwould have kept me coming back.

    But Wait Theres More

    A Real-Life Telephone Call

    On Monday night, I was back home in Chicago and got a phone call from anumber I didnt recognize. By default, I dont answer calls from numbers I dontknow. About a minute later, I got a voicemail notification. I listened, and it was areal-life person calling me from Elevation Church to thank me for being there thenight before. He noticed I was visiting from out of town and wanted to let meknow if I was just visiting that he hoped I had a great time, and if I was

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    relocating or coming back to Charlotte, that he hoped Id come back and visitagain. He also offered that if I needed anything or needed prayer that I could callthe church. WOW! In our automated age, the simple act of a personalized phonecall is HUGE.

    I visited a church a while ago that routinely calls me every Thursday night

    with a prerecorded message from the pastor letting me know whats going on atthe church that weekend. I dont know how to unsubscribe from that. But thispersonalized call was unreal. Long gone are the days of the pastor or eldersgoing to visit first-time guests at their homes, but this is definitely a 21st centuryspin on that.

    A Helpful Email

    Then, the following morning, I got an email with the subject line, Thanks forjoining us! But wait, theres more! The email was beautifully designed and

    included a video message from the campus pastor of the campus we visited andincluded links for information about their small groups and childrens ministry.There were also links to take a survey to get feedback from your experience anda link to spread the word and invite your friends.

    A Handwritten Postcard

    The day after that, no joke, I got a handwritten postcard in the mail, again,thanking me for visiting, inviting me back to visit, and letting me know that theywere praying for me. More bonus points for the personalization. Thats huge.

    A Letter From the Pastor

    Then, seriously not joking, the day after that, I got an official welcome letter fromPastor Steven in the mail. It was more like a form letter, but after the mix ofpersonalized touch points, it was totally fine that he didnt personally sit downand write me a letter. Hes kind of a big deal and a busy guy anyway. But again,it was just an incredible continued way of keeping me in the loop.

    Some Thoughts

    While it may not be feasible for every church to provide the rock star VIPtreatment that Elevation does for their guests, I do believe that every churchshould take some notes from my experience there. I can tell you that Ive been inmany other great churches in the last few years where my presence as a visitorwas hardly acknowledged.

    Every time someone visits a church, they are taking a risk. Everyone hastheir reasons for NOT going to church, and people have reasons for making the

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    choice to go to a church. They are searching for something and a need to feelloved and embraced by the church. The church is a family, and we need to makepeople feel like they are coming home when they come to visit.

    Its been said that people will make up their minds about their experienceat a church in the first five minutes of being there. If their experience from the

    parking lot to the sanctuary isnt positive, it doesnt even really matter whathappens in the service. Youve got to go out of your way from the moment theyarrive at the door to roll out the red carpet.

    I know this all could sound a bit consumeristic, but lets face it, we live ina consumeristic society, and people go church shopping with lists in hand ofwhat they expect. Im not suggesting churches bend to meet what people arelooking for, but that we meet them halfway and go out of our way to welcomethem. People want to feel like they belong. People want to feel valued. Peoplewant to be acknowledged. People need to feel welcomed when they visitchurches.

    Elevation Church has grown from a small group of 40 people to more than16,000 in less than six years. Theres a lot at play and an obvious movement ofGods Spirit and favor, but I believe their commitment to welcome people likethey have has helped them grow as much as they have.

    First impressions matter, and they made a great one.

    A Cool Side Note

    One of my co-workers was with me in Charlotte, and she went to dinner withsome friends in the area. They had a great experience at the restaurant. The

    manager came around, and she told him about how she had always said she hadwanted to find a church that welcomed people as warmly as the Apple Storedoes, but that now she would need to add that restaurant to the list. He said,Well, I think I have the church for you, then. Its called Elevation.

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    Find Out Why People Leave Your Church: 8 Tips forExit Interviews

    By Thom Schultz

    This week I listened to people who left their churches and never went back. Ididnt like their stories, for a couple of reasons.

    First, it was painful to hear of their wounds. Their reasons for leavingvaried widely, from mistreatment to malfeasance to neglect.

    Then, it was agonizing to hear how none of them had been contacted bythe churches they left. They felt ultimately disposable and forgotten.

    Unfortunately, their stories are all too common. Even for churches that

    report shining statistics of new members, theyre often losing equal numbers outthe back door. Whats happening? Why are they leaving?Churches like to call in paid consultants to analyze their situations.

    Usually these hired guns interview the staff and survey the congregation. Theytypically uncover predictable things. But they may miss the glaring problems,which are best articulated by those who have left.

    So, before you call in the next consultant, take a hint from otherorganizations: talk to your past customers. See what good employers do; theyconduct exit interviews. It seems so obvious. But, in the church world, thiscontact is rare.

    Why? Are we afraid of what well hear? Is it too awkward? Do we feelthat contacting lost members will only pander to their complaining?

    Lets forget the excuses and consider how to reach out to the lost sheep.Youll learn how to improve your ministry, and youll show care for those whofeel hurt. I was involved in a small team that did just that. We invited pastmembers to sit down with us and talk about why they left our church. Withouthesitation, they all agreed to meet. They talked openly, calmly and candidly. Andthey were so thankful that somebody finally noticed they had left and caredenough to inquire. What they told us was eye-opening and very helpful.

    Heres what we learned about contacting lost sheep:

    1.Form a small team of level-headed volunteers to contact the lost sheep. Dontenlist pastors or other church staff for this work. First, the departed memberswont be as blunt with paid leaders. Second, your staff may already feelpummeled themselves. The last thing they want to do is sit through anotherfeared pummeling. So, select volunteers who are not currently serving in any

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    leadership capacity at the church. These should be good listeners who will notget defensive when hearing negative comments about their church.

    2. Assemble a list of those who have gone missing. Contact these past memberspersonally. Let them know theyre missed. Ask if theyd share why they left.

    Assure them your purpose is simply to listen, not to coerce them to return. Yousimply want to know how to improve.

    3. Set up a time, about an hour, to meet personally on neutral ground, such as arestaurant or coffee shop. Do not attempt to collect information through writtensurveys or over the phone. Meet face to face.

    4.When you meet, reiterate youre there to listen. Ask for their honesty andcandor. Say something like, I know you havent been around for some time. Weused to see you all the time. Id really like to hear about what might have led to

    your departure. It may help us avoid problems and hurt in the future.

    5.Take notes. And inform your interviewees that youd like pass along helpfulinformation to appropriate people who can make improvements for the future.

    6. At the end of the interview, sincerely thank the interviewees. And extend aheartfelt apology that the church did not measure up to their expectations. Thisisnt admitting guilt. Its simply offering remorse and compassion for how theyfeel.

    7.Then compile the results of the interviews. Look for any common threads.Prepare a report for church leaders who have the responsibility to make yourministry as strong and effective as it can be. Be sensitive about handling accountsof individuals who were named by interviewees. That information should beshared directly with the named individuals and/or their immediate supervisors.

    8. Consider the results and take appropriate action to improve your ministry.Part of the being the Body of Christ means noticing and caring when a part goesmissing.

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