kalon women february 2012 digital magazine

8/2/2019 Kalon Women February 2012 Digital Magazine

1/50February 2012 1 Kalon Women Maga-


2/502 Kalon Women Magazine February 2012

February 2012 - Issue 27

pg. 16pg. 12

pg. 42pg. 28

pg. 46



Dear Kalon Women and Men,

February happens to be American Heart Month, so let me be the first to wish you alla happy and healthy Heart Month and a very Happy Valentines Day!

Wow, can you believe its February already? It seems like we just celebrated theNew Year just a few weeks ago!

I hope you enjoy our February issue of Kalon Women, it certainly captured my atten-tion while we were editing each piece.

Carrie Pierces article The Beauty of Our Wounds talks about how even throughpain, light can shine forth from our wounds.

Love and Money by Ronit Rogoszinski talks about the harsh realities of joining to-gether as a couple monetarily and how we need to protect ourselves.

Marcia Barhydt brings to light a very poignant piece called Sexism, Feminism &Miss Representation. If you havent heard about this, you need to read this article.

White Lies = Red Flags by Cheryl Michaels is about relationships and truthaMUST read!

Our feature article, The Resurgence ofGracious Men is by Chris Scioli who al-ways manages to delight our readerswith her stories. I know you will feel thesame about this one as well.

As always, I enjoy hearing from you.



Pg. 8 Technology Predictions

By: Sandra Morgan

Pg. 12 The Beauty of Our Wounds

By: Carrie E. Pierce

Pg. 16 Love and Money

By: Ronit Rogoszinski

Pg. 20 Second Chances

By: Henry Piarrot

Pg. 28 Sexism, Feminism & Miss Representation

By: Marcia Barhydt

Pg. 32 Ten Solutions to Your 2012 Resolutions

By: Dr. Iris Rosenfeld

Pg. 38 Benevolence & Brotherhood

By: Jill Tietjen & Charlotte Waisman

Pg. 42 White Lies = Red Flags

By: Cheryl Michaels

Pg. 46 The Resurgence of Gracious Men

By: Chris Scioli

The opinions expressed herein are those of the respective authors and not necessarily those of KalnWomen or GRM Solutions, LLC. Neither Kaln Women nor GRM Solutions, LLC will be

liable for any damages or losses, however sustained, as a result of the reliance on, or use by a reader,or any other person of, any information, opinions or products expressed, advertised or otherwise contained

herein. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or duplicated without the written permission of thepublisher. The publisher accepts no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or other

material including color transparencies.

2008-2012 KALN WOMEN ALL RIGHTS RESERVED2008 2012 KALN WOMEN IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF GRM SOLUTIONS, LLC.
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According to Gartner predictionsthere are trends and disruptive events that will re-shape the nature of business for the next four years.

They focus on changes in the role that technology plays in business performance,our personal and professional lives, and in the global economy.

Gartner evaluated more than 100 predictions based on audience appeal, impact andrelevance. The 2011 predictions showcase a link between technology decisions andeconomic and societal outcomes.

Here are four top predictions that will affect your organization (for the complete listclick here).

1. Workforce Shifts To Tablets By 2013 - By 2013, 80 percent of businesses willsupport their workforce using tablets.

By 2014 consumers will have purchased more than 208 million tablets. The firstwave of tablets focuses on content consumption and communications.

Tablets drive the adoption of applications running on another computer or in thecloud. At a minimum, organizations will need to offer employees network connectivity
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(email, calendars, files) and digital device support.

Takeaway: Your organization should be offering its content, programs and servicesvia mobile friendly websites or apps. Use social graphs and other analysis tools tomonitor your market. Also expect to see more tablets at your annual meeting than inthe past.

2. BYOD (Bring Your Own Device) ToWork Soars - By 2014, 90 percent of organi-zations will support employees using theirown devices with corporate applications.Consumers are driving this trend. 75% ofGartners respondents already see employ-ees connecting their devices to the enter-prise system with or without permission.50% of respondents had mandates to sup-

port iPads within past six months.

By 2014, it will be common place thatorganizations support corporate applicationson employee-owned devices such as note-books, smartphones and tablets. Employ-ees will drive the adoption of mobile devicesinstead of the standard old-style traditionalcorporate computers.

Takeaway: Your organization should pursuecross-platform application developmentstrategies. In addition to the mobile infra-structure, your organization should prepare for a shift to interaction and engagementwith its customers via mobile devices.

3. Your Organizations Social Presence And Mobile Applications Generate HalfOf Online Sales - By 2015, organizations will generate 50 percent of the onlinesales from their social media presence and mobile applications. Uptake of mobile

devices drives a demand for collaboration and choice via cloud services.

Takeaway: Organization leadership must compliment their established businessskills with new skills rooted in social sciences. They must master which channelstheir customers customers are using for engagement and sales. Organizations mustalso reinvest in e-commerce capabilities through social networks.

4. Your Social Bot-Friends Increase - By 2015, 10 percent of your online friends



will be non-human.

Using social media effectively as anorganization involves several steps:creating social outposts, listening toonline conversations, communicating

a message, and ultimately engagingin two-way discussions. To date, mostorganizations have established apresence and are broadcasting mes-sages. By 2015, efforts to automatesocial engagement will result in socialbots that can manage personalizedcommunications with individuals.

Takeaway: Your organization must

address the engagement gap in itsadoption of social media. Two-waycommunication with customers andpotential customers is critical to suc-cess in social media. Consider a hy-brid approach with automated as-sisted with human talent.

Which of these trends will be the

most challenging for your organiza-tion to adopt? What barriers keep or-ganizations from transitioning to mo-bile friendly practices?

*Sources: Velvet Chainsaw Gartner.com

Contact Us: [email protected]

2010 2012 The Network Chefs All rights reserved

This article may not be reprinted, reproduced, or retransmitted in whole or in partwithout the express written consent of the author.
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The wound is the place where theLight enters you. Rumi

Four days before this past Christ-mas, Life delivered a kick to my gutthat sent me reeling -on many levels-

and drove me so hard to my knees, Istruggled for two weeks before Icould remotely regain my footing.

During this time, I was shaken to myvery core. Unable to eat or sleep, orfind my way in the bleak blackness ofit all, I began noticing a very strangephenomenon.

As I struggled through my days andnights, folks started coming out ofthe woodwork complimenting me.You look great! Theres so muchlight in you!

Im a very private person, so thesecompliments came from folks whoknew nothing about my loss, or the

ensuing grief that threatened to con-sume me.

This got me thinking

I recalled a picture of my Mom thathad been taken approximately 2

months after the death of her first husband, when she was all of nineteen or twentyyears old.

They had been married just three months when he was killed tragically in an AirForce jet crash.

That loss, and the disasters that followed for my Mom were horrific- yet captured inthat one particular photo- there on film for all the world to see- the Truest picture shehas ever taken in her life. Raw with unimaginable emotion and humanness, wrappedin an overcoat in the heart of winter, she stands, eyes swollen from the endless tears

a brave smile gently curving her lips everso slightly upward, looking at the cam-



eralooking Life in the eye, her Spirit ex-posed.

In this photo, she stands undauntedthough handicapped, raw but fullvery,very REAL. And there it is: the Light pour-

ing forth from her wound.

As beauty is my industry, Im expected tolook good, no matter what. I try never todisappoint- but the two weeks of griefmade this difficult. There were circles un-der my eyes, paleness from not beingable to eat, fatigue from sleepless nights-all staring back at me from my bathroommirror- but there It was also: that Light

An ethereal, not- of- this- world beam.And it was spilling out of me, thru the

cracks in my carefully crafted mask, the veneer Ive created to encase me as I makemy rounds in this world. That very same veneer that now was smashed to bits. Light-everywhere.

For those of you who read my articles regularly, or know of my career background,you know I lived and worked in Hollywood, and as such provided makeup services to

film and TV celebrities. You also know about my work providing reconstructive andrestorative makeup services to burn and scar patients.

My idea of True Beauty is far from the superficial and Ive always known that as hu-man beings, we have scars-both the visible, external type- there for all the world to see,and the deeper, invisible typethat so often haunts us with-out mercy- nonexistent to

those people around us.

-It can be debated which typecauses the most pain. Butthere is a new level of under-standing for me now.

Technically, scars are made



of fibrous tissue thatreplaces damagedskin after an injury.The formation of ascar is a biologicalprocess of repair

and as such is anatural part of thehealing process.

Throughout my ca-reer, Ive helpedwomen- and men-cover their outerscars, and Ive alsoworked with others

in an attempt to helpthem balm their in-ner scars. Bothtypes bring horrificpain and anguish,and both offer a gift.

Some people see scars, and it is wounding they remember. To me theyare proof of the fact that there is healing. Linda Hogan

In the years Ive worked with women, Ive dealt with scars from Domestic Violence,scars from cancer surgeries, scars from births by Ceasarean Section, scars fromplane crashes and resulting fires, scars from car wrecks, scars from deforming acne and scars from crippling grief and despair.

Ive known women who hated themselves because of their scars. Ive seen womenunable to touch their mastectomy scars -and Ive done everything within my power tohelp them learn to-at the very least- make peace with these fibrous remindersandat the very best, embrace them as gifts.

Some are more willing to do this than others. For each it is a journey of many emo-tions, many layers- many miles.

Be they physical scars or emotional, TLC is needed, and self acceptance and selflove the only balm that will work to ease the pain, the tightness, the rawness.

Where we are the most broken, we are the most beautiful. I believe this with all my



heart and soul and I know this to be true. Where we have been broken, weve beenmade pliable, where weve been burned, weve been laid bare, much like a forest af-ter a raging fireand from the ashes the hefty and fragrant regrowth comes- withtime.

If this New Year finds you aching, injured, marred or reeling please recall these

words and then stare yourself in the eyes the next time you stand in front of yourbathroom mirror. You will find a beauty there that will take your breath away- andrightly so. It is the beauty of YOU:

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive

characters are seared with scars. Khalil Gibran

Carrie Pierce has worked exclusively in the skin, health, and beautyindustries for 26 years. She is a licensed Aesthetician, Film and TV makeupartist and has built a solid international reputation as a holistic, menopausalskin expert.

A recognized speaker and published writer, Carrie is Founder and President ofwww.menopauserus.com
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I am not officially a certified marriage counselor, yet over the years when speakingwith countless number of couples, I certainly felt like one on many occasions. If thereare two topics that can lead to unrest within the home, they are love and money.

What I want to do today is offer ideas that will hopefully assist you in avoiding theconflict MONEY can raise.

Common goals besides money:

The first step I take in creating a financial plan is to understand the goals the clientshave. You too need to discuss the goals each of you has with each other and pro-ceed to explore common ground. It is so important to be on the same page so tospeak as to what is important to you as an individual but also as a partner in this re-lationship.

Consolidate a money goal list:



Once an overall picture for life style, priorities and exact goals are created, it is im-portant to set up an action plan for the financial goals you have. If you note that youhave come to agreement on the financial goals for the household, you should feelcomfortable in opening up joint accounts. The simplicity and convenience of hav-ing one account for both, simplifies the record keeping and in the event of a loss orincapacity, leaves the surviving spouse with full access to the account alone. How-

ever, avoid the conflicts that could arise if there is no agreement on priorities bysimply opening up two separate accounts in each partners name and assign fi-nancial responsibility to each.

Before continuing I want to note a few important features of a joint account thatsometimes eludes consumers:

Once a joint account is opened with anyone in the world, each has 100 percentrights to that accountAccount co-owners can spend, give away or transfer funds to other accounts,

without the consent or knowledge of other account holder(s).In many cases, the "wronged" party can get back some of the money, but legalaction is requiredAs a joint owner you may unintentionally subject your assets to the claims ofsomeone else's creditors



Know that there is no protection for either party with a joint account if the otherperson comes in and withdraws all the money.There is nothing the bank can do to protect either party

There are other issues that need to be addressed with joint accounts but here aresome ideas to protect yourself in a joint account:

Keep minimal amounts of money in joint bank accounts for day-to-day use.While they are more common with commercial accounts, set up criteria for ac-count transactions requiring two signatures through the bank.Use online banking to monitor account activity.

With so many uncertainties around us today, handling your own money should notbe one of them. Ultimately opening up a joint account with a loved one can in fact be

a simple process to ini-tiate and maintain, as

long as open communi-cation and expectationsare set ahead of time.Make a date to go outand discuss these mat-ters away from the TV,computer and phones.Focus on each otherand the goals at hand.

Open, honest discus-sion between lovingadults is an incrediblyempowering occasion.Take full advantage ofit.

Ronit Rogoszinski CFP,is a LPL financial planner with Arch Financial Group andspecializes in working with individuals transitioning though major life changing events.The information in this article is based on a CFP Board brochure, What You ShouldKnow About Financial Planning. It is available free at 1-800-487-1497 orwww.CFP.net. Founded in 1985, the CFP Board is a nonprofit certifying organizationthat owns the CFP certification marks in the U.S. and benefits the public by fosteringprofessional standards in personal financial planning.

Securities and advisory services offered through LPL Financial, a RegisteredInvestment Advisor. Member FINRA/SIPC.
http://www.cfp.net/http://www.cfp.net/


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Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.- John Lennon

I began writing stories about ordinary people that I believe are doing extraordinary

things many years ago when I became weary of watching the bad guys and losersget almost all of the ink in every newspaper I picked up during my life.

More than 700 stories later, I still have little trouble finding the inspirational people forwhich I began this endeavor. However, on occasion, I am allowed the extreme privi-lege to meet someone who qualifies as a hero to my heroes.

Aimee Orion Kiefer was born on April 13, 1995 in New Orleans, LA. She is theyoungest of her accomplished parents 6 children. Her father George, a retired Judge

and her mother Elaine, a retired nurse moved to Sevier County,TN when Aimee wasonly 5 years old.

A member of Pigeon Forge High Schools Class of 2013, Aimee is mid way throughher third year as a member of the schools Show Choir, singing and dancing forspring performances on campus and annually at Patriot Park near Dollywood.

Planning to become a surgeon one day, the youngest Kiefer made that decision be-



cause she believes that medicine helps people, like a young boy she became awareof whose face was shredded by a pit-bull a few years ago.

Unfortunately, just about to begin the second half of her junior year, Aimees belief inmedicine was reinforced as she lie crushed within her vehicle after sliding off a rainslick road 2 days after Christmas. For a time it did not look like Aimee would survive

the experience.

On the rainy morning of Tuesday December 27, 2011 at approximately 9:30am,Aimee was on her way to her job as a tour guide at "TOMB," a new Pigeon Forge at-traction that opened earlier in the year. Less than a mile and a half from home,Aimee lost control of her 1995 Land Rover and smashed into an unforgiving tree.

Her body badly broken, youngAimee was unconscious formost of the two hours it took

the emergency crew to freeher from her mangled vehicle.The weather did not allow herto be safely taken by air, soshe was driven by ambulance40 miles to UT Medical Center,where doctors and nursesalike fought for hours to saveher.

In addition to her legs beingcrushed, Aimee cracked herpelvis, broke an arm and col-lapsed a lung.

Once her life was saved, theexceptional teenager awoke tofind her right leg had been re-moved at the knee and the re-

mainder of it, as well as herentire left leg were reinforcedwith titanium rods.

While friends and family linedup to console the girl after sur-viving such a life altering ex-perience, they each found that



Aimee was actually consoling them. Mature beyond her years, George and Elainesyoungest daughter embraced her survival as a second chance and vowed to neveragain take one day for granted.

Expected to be in the hospital for months, Aimee was released to go home to herparents after only 17 days. She has vowed that nothing that happened that terribleTuesday will change any of her plans for the future. As a matter of fact, she is deter-mined to turn this awful experience into motivation to work even harder to be a betterperson than she was before.

Aimee Keifers attitude has inspired everyone she has touched since her accident.Instead of feeling sorry for herself, she has worked hard to assure her friends andloved ones there is no reason to be sorry for her. Her plans to attend either UT orThe University of Chicagos Medical Schools are still in in place and the future isbrighter than ever.



I am here again, in a familiar place feeling something I've felt before, wondering whyit's still here, why I didn't deal with it more fully before. But I'm glad I have a secondchance at it ... and I know that if I need a third chance, I'll get it. I also know that if itcomes up again, I'll recognize it sooner and deal with it more readily. This is growth.

And, I am happy to be alive. - Author and speaker Jan Denise

Henry Piarrot is a Sevier County resident and hotel manager onassignment in Nashville, TN. Please send all story recommendations [email protected]



Tattered and torn, broken and bruisedAre the depths of my heart, soul and mind too

Complete pain and anguish, hanging on by a threadI know Jesus Loves Me

Need to trust Jesus, so hard to doHeavenly Father? Nothank you

Father equals pain, mother does tooWhere are you, Jesus? I dont know what to do

I cry in the night, begging no more pain, no more strifeFeel so alone, and still it goes on

Begging to die, just to wake at dawnI know Jesus Loves Me

All grown up, the time does flyWife and a mom now, the apples of my eyeSo happy with life, but still something lingers

A death of my heart, a hole in my soulGotta keep on surviving Jesus, I cant let go

I know Jesus Love Me

A three syllable word keeps playing in my headI didnt do anything wrong Jesus, just let me go to bed

Ive been a good servant, faithful and trueThen Jesus in love showed a part of my heart

It had been safe and sound, alone and darkHe gently showed me, this isnt the wayOh dear Lord Jesus, please not today

I know Jesus Loves Me



Forgiveness, Forgiveness that three syllable word

So easy to say, but oh how it hurtsReady to let go, time to move on

Broken and scared I wake in the dawnI know Jesus Loves Me

Redeemer, Protector, Tower of Strength be with me now, I am so weakThat part of my heart dead and goneStarts beating slowly, the pain is so strong

Ill be obedient, Ill do what you sayI did nothing wrong Jesus, but you lead the way

A three syllable word spoken that dayTore the scab off my heart, O precious day!

I know Jesus Loves Me

Im open and bleeding, Oh Glory to God

Its beating and beating I thought it was goneFreedom, sweet freedom, no shackles, no chains

A three syllable word opened the wayIm happy, Im whole, Im healing inside

Oh precious Jesus, you really are by my side.You carried me through, you love me so much

Heavenly Father forgive me, I will accept your touchI know Jesus Loves me

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to thosewho are called according to His purpose.Romans 8:28

This poem is dedicated to abused women across the world -we all stand as one in the fight against abuse!

Shannon McCoy is a native of the Rio Grande Valley, located deep down inSouth Texas. She has been married to her sweet husband, L.J., for 21 years. To-gether they have three precious daughters, Shelby 20, Mallory 18, and Kiley 16.Shannon is in full time ministry, and works at First Baptist Church in McAllen, Texas.She is the Senior Pastors Secretary, and served as the Childrens Director for 5years. She has just begun writing as God leads, and is humbled as God uses her tominister to other women who are survivors of abuse. Shannons prayer and desire isfor women to realize they can have a life fulfilled through Christ Jesus. They will gofrom victim to victor, and have a strength and peace about them that is overflowing,and have the new found ability to love like never before.



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Last week, I watched a

screening of a documentarycalled Miss Representation.I'm not sure, but I think what Iwas expecting was some kindof wimpy capsule about thefeminist movement today orperhaps the very small sexistissues still remaining after thecoming of age of feminismand all the equalities gained

with the feminist movement in the 70s and 80s.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Miss Representation is about the shockingly pervasive attitude still presented by me-dia and by Madison Avenue. Our daughters and granddaughters are fighting the very

issues that we fought in the 70s. The documentary is full of mind-blowing facts aboutlifestyles that are currently accepted by the majority of people today. It's also aboutthe frustration of our young women, and young men, face trying to erase this preju-dice.

Go to the website and click around. You'll be amazed, even at the short trailer therethat you can watch. http://www.missrepresentation.org/
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This is part of the official description of the film, "Like drawing back a curtain to letbright light stream in, Miss Representation (90 min; TV-14 DL) uncovers a glaring re-ality we live with every day but fail to see. In a society where media is the most per-suasive force shaping cultural norms, the collective message that our young womenand men overwhelmingly receive is that a womans value and power lie in her youth,beauty, and sexuality, and not in her capacity as a leader. While women have madegreat strides in leadership over the past few decades, the United States is still 90thin the world for women in national legislatures, women hold only 3% of clout posi-tions in mainstream media, and 65% of women and girls have disordered eating be-haviors."

One of the messages of Miss Representation is that we're all able to do somethingto make this stop. And so I'm beginning a new series of articles for Kalon Womenabout sexism. My articles about ageism will continue and I'm thinking that some-

where down the road, the two prejudices will intersect. Wanna bet?Understand that I'm not an angry feminist, but when I see an inequity, I think weneed to address that inequity. It's my hope that these articles won't be rant after rantafter rant about 'the movement'. I hope I can put a positive spin on at least a few ofthe issues, although right now, I'm not sure.

I didn't burn my bra in the 70s, but, ok, I'll admit that was when I started going with-out one. I believe there are subtle ways to make a change which are as powerful as

aggressive ways to make a change. I've already written about 2 commercials made



by Dove called Onslaught and Evolutions that you can watch on YouTube, On-slaught at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei6JvK0W60I and Evolution at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U. Both of these commercials were doneto expose the barrage of unattainable images that our young women face daily.

So, if we're to fix this, to make it stop, we each need to find a way to make that hap-pen, something that each of us can do. If you're a member of a women's group, ifyou're in a public role, if you're a mother or a grandmother or an aunt, go to the web-site http://www.missrepresentation.org/and click on FAQs to find out how you canhave your own screening for your group.

Join me monthly to read more about this travesty called sexism. I promise to wearmy bra. It's time to fix this. It's time to make it stop.

Marcia Barhydt, 2012

Marcia Barhydt is delighted to be 66 years old. A retired flight attendant who isnow self-employed as a writer, she is embracing this part of her life, especially the

whimsy of writing.

She is dedicated to challenging ageism, inequality and invisibility for older women,and she is equally dedicated to promoting a productive, positive and prosperousapproach to aging.

Her first book; a collection of 17 articles, titled Celebrate Age! Raves, Rants,Thoughts and Wisdoms Learned After 50 is available now. To read more and orderCelebrate Age!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei6JvK0W60Ihttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei6JvK0W60Ihttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8Uhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8Uhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8Uhttp://www.missrepresentation.org/http://www.missrepresentation.org/http://www.willowtree.ca/celebrateage.htmlhttp://www.willowtree.ca/celebrateage.htmlhttp://www.willowtree.ca/celebrateage.htmlhttp://www.willowtree.ca/celebrateage.htmlhttp://www.missrepresentation.org/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8Uhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8Uhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei6JvK0W60I


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How can you make 2012 your best year ever?

Take this opportunity to say goodbye to the past and hello to creating a future withlimitless possibilities. Begin with a renewed optimism by getting a notebook or jour-

nal and contemplate these few questions:

What did you accomplish in 2011 that made you feel good about yourself? Did youcelebrate it? If not, what will you do?

What one behavior are you still doing that is negative? What can you do now to endit?

Who has influenced you during this past yeareither hurtful or supportive? Thankthem for their contribution to you either privately or personally.

CONSIDER MAKING ONE LIFESTYLE CHANGE PER MONTH FROM THE LISTOF 10 BELOW

Are you swearing off cookies and alcohol? Studies show that the three most com-mon New Years resolutions are losing weight, exercising more and quitting smok-ing . . . all health related. You can achieve your goals, as well as maintain thosechanges all year round by balancing your body and mind and learning about a life-style conducive to optimal health.



We would like to suggest Ten Solutions to Your 2012 Resolutions. Consider ONEchange per month and at the end of 2012 you will have 10 lifestyle changes!!!

1. FoodWith the intentional avoidance of the word 'diet', we recommend meals that includethe avoidance of starchy, sugary carbohydrates, are high in fiber, and consist of ap-

proximately 30% protein. Attention should be paid to the Glycemic Index of variousfoods. Awareness about what we put into our bodies, including avoiding toxic sub-stances such as pesticides, partially hydrogenated oils, corn syrup, and artificialsweeteners can significantly reduce the chemical stressors to our adrenal glands.Eating several small meals throughout the day can help to even blood sugars andprevent hypoglycemic episodes, another significant stressor. Inclusion of abundant,fresh and colorful fruits and vegetables(organic when possible) will provideyou with the vitamins, minerals and an-

tioxidants to support metabolic proc-esses, limit oxidative damage, andpromote efficient detoxification path-ways.

2. MovementStudies indicate that non-competitiveexercise is healing to the adrenalglands, can reduce the risk of type-2diabetes and aid in weight loss. Endor-

phins from exercise are known to im-prove memory, treat depression andalleviate pain. A new exercise regimen should begin gently and increase to approxi-mately 30 minutes 5 times a week, depending on your individual goals.

3. SleepAlthough this seems like a very basic piece, restoring a regular sleep schedule withan early bedtime will provide the adrenal glands (along with the rest of the body) withthe best opportunity to rest and repair. When time allows for it, sleep in! Also, paying

attention to proper sleep hygiene is imperative. Work or other projects should be leftin another room and the bedroom should be dark, cool, quiet and free of distractionssuch as blaring televisions.

4. LaughterWe have heard that laughter is the best medicine and it does in fact increase para-sympathetic activity (the "rest and digest" branch of the nervous system). Of courseany activity that brings joy or peace is beneficial and stress reducing, so make apoint to spend some time doing what you love. Studies at Northwestern University



and Fordham University concluded that laughter helps your immune system to func-tion better, keeps hormones in balance, increases the bodys normal painkillers, re-laxes tensions and its free! Bring a smile to your face by reading: Smile For NoReason by Lee Jampolsky.

5. Breathing/Spiritual PracticeKeep praying and connecting with your vision of the higher power regularly by goingto church, synagogue, deep breathing, visualization, meditation, journaling, etc.For something that we literally do almost constantly, breathing is an area that almosteveryone can improve. Deep, slow breathing that involves bringing air into the lowerportion of the lungs where oxygen exchange is most efficient can slow the heart rate,lower blood pressure, relax muscles, and reduce stress and anxiety. Deep breathingtells the adrenal glands that "everything is okay". Therefore, take deep breaths intothe belly instead of just filling up the chest and sucking in the gut. We have a number

of deep breathing exercises we can teach you!

6. QuitFar too many of the planet are suffering from an addiction to one or more sub-stances that are harmful. The biggest offenders are of course tobacco, alcohol, caf-feine, and sugar, so let's focus on those. There are many, many reasons why thesesubstances are not healthful, but a few of them include:



Caffeine is a stimulant and puts the body on constant alert. This chronic state of"fight or flight" or sympathetic dominance causes anxiety and irritability, sleep dis-turbances and mood swings. Aside from the fact that it will take more and morecaffeine to get the same effect over time, the constant assault to the adrenalglands will eventually result in complete exhaustion or inability to produce ade-quate amounts of adrenal hormones.

Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant and presents a significant burdenon the body's detoxification pathways among other offenses.

Nicotine has been shown to increase cortisol levels and the thousands of otherchemicals in cigarettes are certainly a noteworthy strain on the body in manyways.

Sugar can suppress your immune system, lead to problems with glucose and in-sulin metabolism, affect cortisol secretion, and contribute to weight gain.

IMBALANCED HORMONES can greatly contribute to cravings and "need" for ex-ogenous substances. The anxiety and insomnia that accompany falling estrogen andprogesterone levels are often medicated by alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, sugar, or pre-scription medications. While the cessation of any of these substances requires alarge helping of self-control and determination, treating your HORMONE IMBAL-



ANCES can give you a more stable platform from which to make clearer choices.

Quit changing many things at once, rather set goals that are logical, practical andmaintainable. Once the initial momentum wears off, what will keep you doing whatyou need to do, to create the change you want to see for yourself and the world?Why will this year be different? Quit the same habit and repetition thats familiar andcomfortable, but do what works! Consider staying focused by creating the big picturein four week time frames. If you want it bad enough, be willing to do what needs tobe done and prepared to do exceptional things to create exceptional outcomes!

7. SimplifyWhile this is easier said than done, the new year is a great opportunity to take a lookat the activities and people in your life that cause you undue stress. Make a list ofthe things that you spend the most amount of energy on, and then eliminate theones that provide the least benefit. If this is a friend or co-worker who is a constantdrain, set clearer boundaries. If you are overextended with obligations, prioritize andcut out a few activities. This can greatly reduce overall stress levels. For many peo-ple, the primary stressor is their job, and while most people certainly can't just quit a

job that makes them miserable, they may be able to make some long term plans tochange careers or enhance their education. Just having the plan, or the knowledgethat you aren't stuck in your current situation for the long term is a significant stressreduction for most people.

8. Enjoy the Simple ThingsI encourage you to maintain meaningful and fulfilling relationships with family, friendsand even pets. These relationships nourish our body, mind and soul. Whether deal-

ing with illness, grief, or just the challenges of everyday life, having people and ani-mals with whom we can connect and share regularly, allows us to release powerful



emotions and feel a greater sense of well being. Take a walk or hike in nature, go tothe movies, read a book, watch a favorite TV show or look at the sunrise/sunset.Make an appointment with yourself for 15-30 minutes a day and write in a gratitude

journal at least 5 things you are thankful for each day. Consider doing Random Actsof Kindness like donating time or money to others, write someone a love letter, letsomeone ahead of you in line or traffic, etc.

9. HydrateThe human body is made up of approximately 60% water, yet most of us aren't con-suming nearly as much as we should be. A good rule of thumb is to drink approxi-mately half your body weight in ounces. Of course there are exceptions to this, souse your judgment, and for many people it will be easier to set lower goals andslowly work up to this level. The quality of water is important as well. Filtered water iscrucial, as there can be many chemicals and poisons in our water supply. Drinkingfrom glass or stainless steel is preferred to avoid the phthalates and bisphenol thatcan leech into water from plastic bottles.

10. Focus on preventionThink about where you are prioritizing your energy and money. Preventative and pro-active visits for chiropractic care, acupuncture, your primary care physician and den-tist can literally add years to your life. Spending a few extra dollars for some preven-tative exams, labs, procedures or supplements is a good investment. Plus, you mayhave some extra money after you have cut out the daily latte and happy hour!

WHAT SPECIFIC ACTION STEPS ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE EACH MONTH TOMAKE 2012 YOUR BEST YEAR YET?

Iris Rosenfeld, DC is a bestselling author of the book, Align, Expand and Suc-

ceed and was awarded the Woman of the Year. Since beginning her practice in1985, her services are tailored to meet ones needs structurally, nutritionally andemotionally through eliminating the interferences that lead to dysfunction, pain anddisease. She utilizes different techniques to empower one to achieve greater well-being. To learn more about upcoming seminars, receive free newsletters and createmiraculous breakthroughs in abundant longevity, health and vitality, go towww.driris.com



In February of each year, we celebrate Valentines Day. It is an opportunity to ac-knowledge those people in our lives whom we love. The word love is a rich onethat has several expansive connotations. One of the definitions of love is the feelingof benevolence and brotherhood that people should have for each other. FrancesWisebart Jacobs and Emily Bissell are two of the many women from our book HerStory: A Timeline of the Women Who Changed America, who personify this sister-hood of compassion for other people. Frances Wisebart Jacobs, an educator and a

philanthropist, is considered the Mother of Charitiesfor her efforts to establish what today is known asUnited Way. Emily Bissell developed Christmas Sealsto help finance the fight against tuberculosis. We soenjoy sharing their stories!

Frances Wisebart Jacobs was the personification ofone individual making a tremendous difference andbenefiting so many others in the community. In fact, wewould posit that every reader of this article has beentouched in some way by her efforts. Her momentouswork can only be partially understood when we tell youthat she is recognized as the founder of the UnitedWay. It all began in 1887 when Jacobs helped foundthe Charity Organization Society in Denver, Colorado.



This organization became a federation of charities that coordinated fundraising and

other efforts and shared the proceeds. Thus Jacobs, called Colorados Mother ofCharities established the model that led to the community chest and to United Way.

Earlier (in 1872), Jacobs organized and became president of the Hebrew BenevolentLadies Aid Society (today known as Jewish Family Services of Colorado). However,she soon realized that the problems of poverty, sickness, malnutrition, and unsani-tary living conditions were not limited to the Jewish community. Accordingly, shebroadened the scope of her work, and through her leadership, the Denver LadiesRelief Society was established in 1874. Jacobs was vice president and acted as thegroups public speaker. Another of her accomplishments occurred in 1880, when Ja-cobs was instrumental in setting up Denvers first free kindergarten for children ofpoor parents.

Jacobs was also the founder of a major medical institution. Because Colorados dryair and sunshine were considered to be a cure for tuberculosis, hundreds of suffer-ers came to Denver. Jacobs regularly visited impoverished homes to bring food,coal, clothing, and soap. In addition, she often stopped to give aid to someone whohad fallen on the street from a hemorrhage. A woman of great compassion, Jacobsbegan intense work to establish a sanatorium. She dreamed of a hospital open to

any person who was destitute and stricken with tuberculosis; she wanted a medicalcenter where scientific research joined forces with medical treatment.

On April 8, 1890, articles of incorporation of the Jewish Hospital Association of Colo-rado were filed. The association bought land east of the city, and on October 9,1892, the cornerstone of the hospital was laid. She did not live to see the comple-tion of the sanatorium which was originally named Frances Jacob Hospital after her.In December 1899 the first patient, a Minnesota woman, checked into the renamedNational Jewish Hospital for Consumptives under its official motto: "None may enter



who can paynone can pay who enter. Today it stands as the internationally-known National Jewish Hospital for Immunology and Respiratory Medicine. Al-though economic realities have made it impossible to continue funding patient careentirely through philanthropy, the Hospital still provides a very significant amount offree or heavily subsidized care to patients unable to afford total treatment costs.

There are sixteen stained-glass windows in the dome of Colorados state capitol,each one illustrating a pioneer who was an im-portant influence on Colorados development.Only one of them is a woman Frances Wise-bart Jacobs.

Interestingly, the history of Christmas sealsand Emily Bissell also has its roots in tuber-culosis. In 1907, a small tuberculosis sanato-rium in Delaware on the banks of the Brandy-

wine River desperately needed to raise funds.One of the doctors serving the hospitalthought his cousin, Emily Bissell, who was ac-tive in the American Red Cross in Wilmington,Delaware and had significant fundraising ex-perience, might be able to help.

Bissell had read an article about how moneyhad been raised in Denmark for needy chil-dren stricken with tuberculosis. The money

had been raised through the sale of smallseals which were affixed to mailed letters, in

addition to the postage stamps. She decided to design a Christmas seal that couldbe offered for sale. Her design was a redcross centered in a half-wreath of holly abovethe words "Merry Christmas. Although theDelaware Red Cross refused to pay for thecost of the seals, the national Red Cross or-ganization agreed to the use of the red crosson the seals.

Bissell started her own one-woman campaignto publicize the seals. She described how do-nating money for them would help fight thebattle against tuberculosis. Her goal was toraise $300 selling the seals at local post of-fices; they were one penny each. This way,she believed, even the poorest people could



help in the fight against tuberculosis. On December 7, 1907, the first seals weresold at a table in the corridor of the Wilmington post office. The campaign raisedover $3,000 ten times her original goal!

The following year, Howard Pyle, a notable illustrator from Wilmington, donated thedesign of the second stamp. By 1908, Christmas Seals had become a national pro-gram. Today, Christmas Seals are still sold with proceeds benefiting the AmericanLung Association and other lung-related issues.

Frances Wisebart Jacobs and Emily Bissell are two of the many women whose con-tributions to the well-being of our communities have been so critical over the years.Their love for their fellow human beings has meant so much to generations of men,women and children.

Charlotte S. Waisman, PhD, co-author of Her Story: A Timeline of the WomenWho Changed America (HarperCollins), is a national champion and advocate forwomen as a professor and keynote speaker. As an executive coach, Waismancoauthored 50 Activities for Developing Leaders and The Leadership Training ActivityBook. She is a principal with a consulting company specializing in leadership andworkforce excellence initiatives.

Jill S. Tietjen, PE, co-author of Her Story: A Timeline of the Women Who Changed

America HarperCollins), is an author, speaker and electrical engineer. Her otherbooks include the Setting the Record Straight series. Tietjen is a top historian onscientific and technical women. She is President/CEO of Technically Speaking, aconsulting company that specializes in improving career opportunitiesfor women intechnology.

Sign up for our ENewsletter at www.herstoryatimeline.com
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Men assume that I am older than the age I have posted on my online dating pro-file. At least, thats the discouraging news that one man passed along to me whenwe met for a glass of wine.

Apparently, so many men and women lie about their age online, that it is commonlyassumed that you are fudging. Ive been told that many viewers automatically addat least several years onto your age, or maybe just round up to the next milestone.Does my 56 get rounded up to 60?

I recently read a males profile that stated his age as 61. When I got to the end of hisself-description, he had a disclaimer that said his age was a few years older thanwhat he had stated.

Since he wanted to meet, I responded by asking him if it was only a few years, whywould he bother to be deceptive, and how was his strategy working for him?

He responded that he was actually 71, and that his caveat was working quite well.He boasted that he actually had received compliments for admitting that he hadntstated his true age.

That made me feel a bit annoyed. Women were praising him for being truthful about



his deceitfulness! I wasnt impressed when he told me he had dated many womenyounger than me, and I didnt meet him.

From the research I have done personally and through online blogs and articles, Ibelieve that the two most common lies that men tell are about their age and theirheight. Men tend to add two inches to their height and to deduct as much as ten

years or more from their age.

They also try to be deceptive about their hair, or lack of it. I have seen mens profileswith numerous photos of them in different settings, but always wearing a baseballcap.

I read an article that claimed that men lie online more than women, but women arecertainly doing their fair share of deception. Nearly every man I have met has toldme about at least one frustrating date with a woman who was obviously older(sometimes much older) than she said she was.

Maybe the most shocking story I have heard is of the woman who actually fessed up



(after being confronted by her disgrun-tled date), that she had posted photosof her daughter!

After the age deception complaint,the second most common beef I have

heard from men is about women rep-resenting themselves as thinner thanthey actually are. Every guy seems tohave a story about the woman wholisted herself as about average, whoin reality was very overweight, or evenobese.

One tactic overweight women employis to only have headshots posted. An-

other strategy is to post flattering pho-tos from thinner days gone by, whichmeans the photo is also of a youngerwoman.

Hearing about those tactics alwaysmakes me curious how women thinkthey are going to pull that off in per-son? I ask the same question about

how men think they are going to hide their lack of hair? Maybe they will suggestmeeting at a sports bar so they can wear their baseball cap.

I had a man tell me that he didnt feel good about it, but he actually had turnedaround and headed for his car when he saw his date waiting for him. In his opinion,she was overweight. Does that make him a jerk, or is it fair if she had misrepre-sented herself?

I would rather stay at home than have a disappointed date. I can hope that he willwant to get to know me and discover how wonderful I am; but the problem is, if I de-

ceived him to get him there, then I am not what he expected. Thats a shaky start.Gregory Hartley, former military interrogator and co-author ofHow To Spot A Liar:Why People Don't Tell the Truth? and How You Can Catch Them says, "We areworking in an area that is new to most people. The world's oldest game on theworld's newest field. The Internet dating scene is about filtering among the vast num-bers for an opportunity. It is about evolution. It is both very primitive and very mod-ern."



Is there harm in telling a few teensy white lies when you are looking for a new rela-tionship? Whats a couple of pounds, a few inches, or even a marriage or two? Hartley says, "This depends on the lie; sure we all omit facts about our past. I am noadvocate of radical truth. Do you really want someone to come out and tell you howmany people they have slept with?"

Hartley warns, "In my mind, a lie at the beginning of a relationship is asking for trou-ble later. No lie can stand alone. To sustain a lie you must tell other lies. Before youknow it, deception is rampant."

Which means those harmless little white lies are more harmful than we thought.Can pretending to be something you're not quite be keeping you from finding a realrelationship? If you are one of two people offering up their fake selves, how can youpossibly meet your true soul mate? You cant.

What seems blatantly obvious to me, is that beside the fact that someone has of-fered you a false self, how do you ever really trust someone that you know lied toyou right out of the gate?

Ive heard people make light of this behavior with the comment everyone does it.Actually, I dont believe thats true, everyone doesnt lie and there are plenty of peo-ple who want to start a relationship with an honest foundation.

Im not upset that you lied to me, Im upset that from now on I cant believe you.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Cheryl Alexandra Michaels CPC, CSC is a Certified Professional Coach andSpiritual Coach. She is a Reiki Master, an Angel Therapy Practitioner and aReconnective Healing Practitioner. She lives in the suburbs of Seattle, Washington.



When I think of truly gracious men I often think of my friend Douglas. He has agreat story and even with the years of social, economic and political distress weve

all endured lately, hes stayed the course. He has refused to sacrifice his charm. Oldschool charm that we need a good dose of in 2012.

Douglas was adopted by a couple later in life and was raised on a chinchilla farm ineastern Oregon. Comfortable with a rifle he also waited anxiously for his monthlysubscriptions to Vogue, W and assorted design and architecture magazines. Oncewe were talking about the pro-choice, pro-life debate and he summed up histhoughts simply saying, I am just glad my mother didnt abort me. He loves his life



and the rest of us who know him love how he can glam up just about anything.

I met Douglas over twenty years ago. He was the Creative Director of a large depart-ment store chain in Northern California and the video production company my hus-band and I own had the account, producing their TV commercials. Douglas owned amagnificent home he renovated himself on the Sacramento River and another in

Beverly Hills. He bought a classic 1971 Mercedes Benz that he restored lovingly andstill drives today.

His friend and frequent companion was the Advertising Director - a statuesque blackwoman; they were a stunning duo, the epitome of fashion. One New Years Eve thefour of us headed to the posh Sonoma Mission Inn in California wine country andthey charmed every stranger at our table; all new friends by the evenings end.

Douglas came to live with us for a few months while he was transitioning careers.Having absolutely no experience with children, he beguiled my 3 youngsters in no

time flat. For Christmas that year, Douglas enlisted my husband and my 6-year-oldson to create a huge dollhouse from scratch for my two daughters. Everything wascut and sanded to perfection -with coordinated designer wall-paper in every room, of course.Hed hike the hill across from myhouse every day, carrying one ortwo of the kids, letting the dogrun fast and free, then come

back and nurse a proper martini stirred, not shaken.

To walk with Douglas as awoman is an experience in logis-tics: no matter how short thestreet, hed move me to the in-side in the gentlemanly way ofold, when carriages might hurlmud onto a ladys dress. Gently

nudged back and forth, this isthe way Douglas does things. Alady does not walk next to thestreet whether wearing sneakersor Louboutins.

When he left our house he jour-neyed to a small town on the



central California coast, near the magnificent Hearst Castle, (which would havesuited him perfectly!) and he bought a pizza shop. This news caught me by surpriseand seemed out of character for his tastes - until we traveled down to visit. By thistime he had added beluga caviar and several brands of champagne that were pack-aged and sold in delightful picnic baskets for both tourists and locals. Already knownas the best pizza in town, Douglas added a few gourmet varieties that were deli-cious. At night we would look out over the town and watch the sunset from the cot-tage he was renovating, bursting with antiques, champagne flutes in hand.

For many years now he has lived with his partner in Portland Oregon, a big player inthe philanthropic social scene. Naturally, the non-profit organizations he supportsthe arts, the opera and many others - are overjoyed with his work on their behalf. Afew months ago one of these patrons was visiting nearby and we met. Did youknow he still sends handwritten letters? she asked first off. In fact, Douglas has thisgreat flowerily script reminiscent of old aristocracy and he does pen notes and let-ters, often - to thank you or to wish you well.



The film director Baz Lurhmann just finished filming the remake of F. Scott Fitzger-alds, The Great Gatsby, a monumental task if you ask me. The Robert Red-ford Gatsby cannot possibly be more chicly portrayed by Leonard DiCaprio, just asno one could match the latters performance in Titanic. I do however applaud Lurh-manns refreshing bravado to once again tell the tale of society and glamour, pa-nache and refinement, even with the requisite tragic ending. It is encouraging to

know that men can yet again look to the chivalry of the past with an eye toward thefuture.

I would not be the least bit surprised to see Douglas name on the end credits of thisfilm. It would no doubt read: Technical Expert for Graciousness.

Copyright 2012Christine ScioliAll Rights Reserved

Christine ScioliA graduate of St. Joseph University, Philadelphia, Pa. with aBA in English, Ms. Scioli worked as a legislative assistant on Capitol Hill, received herJuris Doctor from Delaware Law School and was admitted to the Pennsylvania Bar.

She has written and produced a wide gamut of creative projects including educational,training, promotional and marketing videos, hundreds of television commercials,television series, feature films and documentaries through her film and video


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