jewish times celebrations

1 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES SIMCHA SUPPLEMENT June 11, 2010

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2 June 11, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES SIMCHA SUPPLEMENT2 June 11, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISSSHHH H TTIT MEMMMEMMM S SSSSSSS SISISIISIIMMMCMCMCM HAHHHHHHAHH SSSUPUPUUUPPLPLPP EMMMENENNNNNNTTTTT


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LARRY GORDON ESTA J. GORDONPublisher/Editor Managing Editor

YOSSI GORDON, YOCHANAN GORDONSales Managers

CHANA ROCHEL ROSSEditorial Assistant

SIDI BARONYAKOV SERLE

Sales Representatives

SHMUEL GERBER MICHELE JUSTICChief Copy Editor Copy Editor

CONTRIBUTING EDITORSHannah Reich Berman, Anessa V. Cohen,

Rabbi Aryeh Z. Ginzberg, Toby Klein Greenwald,Rabbi Yair Hoffman,

Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky, Shmuel Katz, Phyllis J. Lubin, Esther Mann, Rochelle Miller,

Elke Probkevitz, Naomi Ross, Dr. Rachael Schindler, Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow,

Rabbi Avi Shafran, Eli Shapiro, Ari Sher, Samuel Sokol

DOV GORDON, ELISHEVA ELEFANTStaff Graphic Artists

IVAN NORMAN, IRA THOMASStaff Photographers

The F ive Towns Jewish Times is an independent weekly news-paper. Opinions expressed by writers and columnists are notnecessarily those of the editor or publisher. We are notresponsible for the kashrus or hashgachah of any product orestablishment advertised in the F ive Towns Jewish Times .

“Celebration.” That has to be one of the

happiest words in the English language.

Who doesn’t like a celebration or an event or

occasion to celebrate? And this is particular-

ly so in these challenging times. At the same

time, as the seasons change and the weath-

er changes, it seems that somehow we are

more geared up and ready to share good

news and help family, friends, and neighbors

by participating in and enhancing their sim-

chos and special events.

Who hasn’t been bedazzled or even en-

chanted at some point in their life by the idea

of a June wedding? Today the parameters

of our imaginations have been stretched with

the notion that any time of year is indeed an

appropriate one to enjoy and take part in one

of these great events. In a way, the seasons

have been dispensed with, and now any

time of year seems exactly like the right time

for a celebration, whether it’s a wedding, a

bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah, or related life-cy-

cle events.

And so it is that as summer approached,

it seemed like precisely the right time to as-

semble this magazine to serve as a guide on

the subject of the simchas we make, attend,

and play a vital role in. And along with some

wonderfully insightful articles that look at our

happiest occasions from a variety of angles,

we also feature some advertisements from

the leaders in the simcha industry.

I hope you enjoy this supplement of the

Five Towns Jewish Times and that you agree

that it is always a good time for a celebra-

tion.

E D I T O R ’ S N O T E

B Y L A R R Y G O R D O N

4 June 11, 2010 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES SIMCHA SUPPLEMENT


5TJT: Who are Harmonia’s founding

fathers? When and why was the orches-

tra started?

HA: Harmonia was founded by broth-

ers Harry and Marcos Askenazi in 2005

as an a cappella group performing at

bar/bat mitzvahs on Shabbat. As instru-

ments are prohibited on Shabbat, Har-

monia a cappella fills the void with rich

harmonies and human percussion.

Harmonia Orchestra was founded in

2007. We realized that the last big sim-

cha orchestra was founded 30 years

ago and saw a need for something fresh

in the marketplace. We felt that through

our connections from singing with oth-

er bands at weddings, and through our

connections to the most talented sing-

ers in the business, we could create an

orchestra that leveraged experience

Harmonia Orchestra: Presenting The Ultimate Music Experience For Your CelebrationB Y R O C H E L L E M A R U C H M I L L E R

Harmonia Orchestra is the newest Jew-

ish orchestra to hit the New York scene. The

orchestra’s musicians are world-renowned

and have performed on Broadway, played

for the New York Philharmonic, and have

all been enhancing simchas for years. Har-

monia distinguishes itself from the compe-

tition with its signature style and service,

adding a sense of “oomph” to every sim-

cha. We sat down with Harry Askenazi, Har-

monia’s personable business manager and

bandleader, for an exclusive interview.

Continued on p. 8


and a unique level of “freshness” that

would combine to create the ultimate

music experience.

5TJT: What makes Harmonia unique?

HA: Most Jewish simcha bands are

staffed with talented musicians and can

play really good music. However, that

is only one part of creating a lasting im-

pression. The process starts months be-

fore the actual event, and the outcome

of the event is really a culmination of

two-way client-band interaction. First,

we travel to meet in person with each cli-

ent at a location convenient for them. We

get a sense for the general style of mu-

sic they want played throughout each

part of the event. We then work with the

client to create a perfect playlist to re-

flect their and their guests’ musical pref-

erences. Unique to our orchestra is the

ability to add the a cappella group to

sing at a chuppah.

The singers’ beautiful multipart harmo-

nies will undoubtedly add to the chup-

pah another layer of spiritual connection

only attained through music. Additional-

ly, we have a supervisor at each wed-

ding who is not one of the musicians and

whose sole responsibility is making sure

the flow of the music from each part of

the wedding to the next is seamless, and

he coordinates with the caterer and mai-

tre d’ in advance.

5TJT: What should prospective cli-

ents know about your performers?

HA: There are many good musicians

in New York so we are fortunate to have

a large pool of talented musicians to

choose from when hand picking the per-

formers who comprise Harmonia. Equal-

ly important as being a great musician

and having a large repertoire of music

is the musician’s personality. All mem-

bers of Harmonia possess the “it” factor

and know how to entertain and blend as

a group. They also are all professionals

in the truest sense of the word and un-

derstand how important the music is for

each client on their special day.

5TJT: How has Harmonia Orchestra

changed the simcha arena?

HA: Without taking anything away

from the other wonderful bands out

there, we have come on the scene a

few years ago and been able to reinvig-

orate the simcha arena with freshness

and youthfulness while still staying true

to the classic values of personal service

and attention.

5TJT: Several of my friends have

heard your a cappella group perform at

Shabbat s’machot and were enthralled

by the rich musicality. How do you do

it?

HA: We don’t stop looking for the

best talent. It’s all about ensuring that

every singer can harmonize on the

spot, has the energy to entertain for

hours, and legitimately is happy to en-

tertain each guest. If you have that

combination you will be a good singer

in this business.

5TJT: Harmonia is such a sought-

after orchestra; how do you keep each

event fresh and exciting?

Harmonia Orchestra: Presenting The Ultimate Music Experience For Your Celebration

Continued from p. 6


HA: We change the musical arrange-

ments a little bit each time. Each instru-

mental solo will be a little different from

the last time the musician played the

song. The musicians need to be having

fun, otherwise it will show in their perfor-

mance.

5TJT: How do you ensure this?

HA: As a bandleader, it is my respon-

sibility to make sure the musicians have

enough creative freedom at each event,

while still keeping the orchestration coor-

dinated, to genuinely have fun with each

song. We also like to use a violinist as

part of the dance set as opposed to just

the slower background music. I find that

this addition adds a unique sound to the

dance set, which keeps the orchestra

sounding fresh. When you play dance

songs that everyone has heard many

times it is important to have a slightly dif-

ferent sound than everyone else.

5TJT: What has been your greatest

challenge thus far?

HA: By far the greatest challenge has

been getting our name out there. The

market for simcha music is large, es-

pecially in New York, so it takes many

events before thousands of people

have been exposed to your group. It

was difficult at first to gain a prospec-

tive client’s trust when their exposure

to Harmonia has been limited. As the

years have gone by, we have been for-

tunate to foster many great relation-

ships with clients who have generously

offered to serve as references for future

prospective clients. Between great cli-

ent references, playing at large events,

and partnering with caterers and party

planners, we now have been seen by

tens of thousands of people, which cer-

tainly helps overcome the challenge of

getting the name out there!

5TJT: What is the most rewarding as-

pect of your profession?

HA: Walk in the streets of Manhattan

and almost everyone you see will have

headphones dangling from their ears.

Music is ubiquitous. It is a language that

has no communication barriers. One of

the most rewarding aspects of this pro-

fession is knowing that I am providing a

service to people that is truly important

to them by helping make their simcha

memorable and special. I love the pro-

cess from start to finish. Creating a re-

lationship, developing that relationship,

and seeing it through to the end is in-

credibly gratifying. Receiving a phone

call or e-mail from a client after their sim-

cha telling you how much your involve-

ment in their party meant to them is by

far the most rewarding aspect of my pro-

fession.

5TJT: Where has Harmonia Orches-

tra performed?

HA: We have performed in New York

(of course!), New Jersey (of course!),

Connecticut, New Hampshire, Pennsyl-

vania, California, Texas, Kansas, Illinois,

and overseas in Mexico City, Cancun,

and Israel. In addition to the countless

affairs, we have enjoyed playing for

three consecutive years at the exclusive

Pesach in Cancun program at the five-

star Leblanc Hotel and Resort and at the

2008 and 2010 Salute to Israel Parades

on Fifth Avenue.

5TJT: Thank you for a highly informa-

tive and fascinating interview, Harry.

HA: Thank you, Rochelle.


B Y M I C H E L E J U S T I C

Lights! Camera! Action! Jerry has

come to town, surrounded by camer-

as and attracting crowds. Throughout

his career, he has brought smiles to mil-

lions. Yes, Jerry Meyer has opened a

state-of-the-art photography studio right

here in Cedarhurst.

This multigenerational family business

began 46 years ago. Cameras certain-

ly looked different back when Jerry’s fa-

ther began, and they will likely be very

different when his 10-year-old grand-

son, Zachary, will iy”H take over. But the

principles of customer service remain

the same throughout the ages. Perhaps

even beyond the artistry and the use of

the latest technology, the Jerry Meyer

difference is in the people. Each event

has a supervisor to coordinate all the de-

tails, making sure everything is seamless

and that the guests of honor feel, well,

honored.

Jerry Meyer, along with wife Essie, son

Jason, and associate Neil, take time for

details—before, during, and after your

event. Whether it means bringing the

kallah a glass of water, retouching the

photos, or completing the album after a

mere two weeks, the Jerry Meyer Stu-

dio does it all to please the client. Jerry

explains, “When they come to the Jerry

Meyer Studio, they’re dealing with peo-

ple who have feelings towards the event

of that day, which can be stressful. Oth-

er photographers can make people

more nervous by intruding on the action.

Our top-caliber photographers and staff

are understanding and compassionate.”

Let’s face it: just about anyone can

buy a camera, press some buttons, and

save and print the files. Doesn’t your

simcha deserve more? A discerning

eye, subtle lighting, someone to ensure

the subject is portrayed in the best fash-

ion…this is what makes Jerry Meyer “the

photographer’s photographer” and why

many in the event-planning business

choose the Jerry Meyer Studio for their

own events. With a track record like that,

does Jerry take a breather? Never! He

makes sure to keep up to date with the

latest equipment and techniques to en-

sure the highest quality pictures.

His studio in Cedarhurst is a veritable

museum of the future of photography,

also featuring digital designers, custom

framing, and a beautiful portrait studio.

The studio has also been used for com-

mercial work. Jerry invites everyone to

visit the studio, at 84 Columbia Avenue

in Cedarhurst.

The Meyers have learned a few things

from having photographed over 7,000

smachos. I am proud to admit that

Jerry Meyer Comes To Town


one of those was my own affair, nearly

seven years ago. With all that was hap-

pening on that day, it was nice to have a

supervisor helping out and doing what-

ever was needed. He was there every

minute—making sure no hair was out

of place, that we caught the best time

of day to shoot outside, that everyone

smiled at the right time, and countless

other things I probably didn’t even know

about. And what do we have to show for

all the time, effort, and money spent on

that day? A beautiful album with pictures

we picked out one by one with the help

of our supervisor, and a DVD featur-

ing all the latest technological offerings.

Sadly, those pictures are the last ones

I have of my father, a”h, and I showed

them to everyone at our shivah. I am cer-

tainly glad we spent a few extra dollars

here and there to produce such beauti-

ful pictures to help remember his enthu-

siastic smile.

Fast-forward—sorry, that’s “old

school”; skip to the next scene—I am

gawking outside the windows of the new

studio and reading the ad for portrait sit-

tings. My husband and I took advantage

of the offer and were highly impressed

with the equipment and space. We even

got to see Jason, who by now feels like

a family friend. He had cutesy things for

the children to be photographed with

and nice things to hide my pregnant

belly. Thankfully, they offer retouching

that promises to make us look like the

chasan and kallah we once were.

We’re not stopping there—we hope

to use Jerry Meyer for our bar and bat

mitzvahs as well, and I encourage every-

one to visit www.jerrymeyerstudio.com,

e-mail [email protected], or call

1-888-MEYER10. To capture your mo-

ment in style, Jerry goes the extra mile.

Jerry Meyer Comes To TownContinued from p. 10

© T

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Josh and Michele Justic


Unveil your inner glamour on your wedding dayor any day...

Chasi Nitekman Certified Make-up Artist

Cassie'sc o s m e t i c s

Book your simcha beforeJune 30th & recieve

Across1. Arcade hanger5. Abba, to a tot9. Some dances14. Like Carlos Slim15. Test16. Set a Chanukah candle

afl ame once more17. Double Stuff or Fudge

Covered18. Oscar Winner Sorvino19. Lithe20. First the bride….23. Car trouble letters24. Former Laker Tyronn25. Then they both…..32. More uncovered34. Black Emperor?35. Machine part36. Gather37. ___ ___ nutshell38. With40. Sight on a shirt at the

Kotel, maybe41. Group (abbr.)42. They can be long on

Simchat Torah43. After all the brachas,

songs, (and maybe some speeches) we watch him….

47. Time meas. (abbr.)48. Little devil

49. Finally it’s….58. Grown up59. Like Humpty Dumpty60. No friend of Israel61. Work laces again62. Note63. Probably not the cap-

tain of the basketball team

64. “Paradise Lost” char-acter

65. Make suds66. Kind of basketball

game

Down1. One rubber sandal2. Italian River (that

sounds a lot like old currency)

3. Computer brand4. Statement from a teen

with a bad attitude5. Lower6. ___ of Evil7. Speed8. Torah measurement9. Mystical Jewish city

outside of Israel10. What new leaves did11. Mixture12. Origin of the most fa-

mous stone female?

13. Controversial cell21. Dens22. Much adored muppet25. Hang26. Kosher cuisine staple27. Smell or touch28. Kind of ape, for short29. Historic and Cultural30. How many Roman

gods actually exist?31. What many Jews eat

lots of on Pesach32. Kind of wire33. Small kibbutz in

Northern Israel38. “ ___ little ____….”39. Newspaper error41. ___ ___ cost44. First name in female

fl yers45. One is often adopted46. Hide49. Does road work50. Plan51. Many a dog52. Brush alternative53. Finite word54. Not cool55. Kind of code56. Succah cover57. Split and dead

For solution, please visit www.5tjt.com.

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Under The ChupahB Y Y O N I G L A T T


B Y J O Y L I E B E RPROFESSIONAL BRIDAL CONSULTANT

Bridal Secrets, the unique, upscale,

and affordable bridal boutique in Ce-

darhurst, has just added two new fea-

tures to its website (please visit

www.bridal-secrets.com). The only shop

of its kind in the world, Bridal Secrets

is now offering modest, tzniusdik bridal

gowns with full-color photos and details

on the web — and on sale, to boot!

You can also take a virtual tour of the

Cedarhurst store. For the very first time, a

bride can purchase a gown for her wed-

ding with a modest neckline and sleeves

no matter where she lives, whether it’s

in the Five Towns or in Albuquerque,

New Mexico. (Yes, we checked — they

have an Orthodox Jewish population!).

Of course, there’s still nothing quite like

making that ‘magical once in a lifetime’

appointment for a private consultation,

but let’s face it—not everyone can. So

why should they have to settle for a pre-

viously strapless gown to which a seam-

stress had to add extra fabric?

Extensive designer bridal collec-

tions as well as a full selection of stun-

ning headpieces and veils in every

length and detail imaginable are fea-

tured in both the Cedarhurst and Lake-

wood shops. All gowns at Bridal Secrets

are available either for purchase or rent

for that one special day. A bridal sam-

ple sale is simultaneously taking place

within both Bridal Secrets locations. The

Cedarhurst store also features a com-

plete lingerie department known as “Se-

cret Me” to address the unseen needs

of the bride and her wedding party, as

well as those women who always want

to look their very best. Secret Me also

carries women’s nightgowns, pajamas,

and robes for both ladies and children.

To find out more about Secret Me, call

516-295-4488. No appointment is nec-

essary.

Bridal Secrets, now in its eighth year,

baruch Hashem, on Central Avenue in

Cedarhurst, supports the Be’er Miriam

Hachnosas Kallah Fund of Far Rock-

away and the Five Towns. To make an

appointment for a bridal consultation,

call 516-295-2062. Mazel tov! We look

forward to preparing another beautiful

bride to walk down the aisle.

Bridal Secrets


Chap-A-Nosh Full


In the New Temple Torah

54-27 Little Neck Pkwy, Little Neck, NY

WWW.COLBEH.COM



As my seventh wedding anniversa-

ry approaches, I think of my love for my

husband, my beautiful children, and…

the band we had at our wedding. Yes,

I still remember that time in the oh-so-

distant past and the beautiful music that

served as the perfect accompaniment

to our special day. I’m sure I must drive

my dear husband crazy when we attend

other weddings and I comment, “Do you

remember how perfect Nafshenu was?

They knew just what to play and when—

the fun music in the beginning and the

slow music to wind down with…” (At this

point, my husband feigns a deep inter-

est in the cars in front of us and the near-

by billboard.)

Last year, I decided to catch up with

my favorite band and see what has

changed and what has remained the

same since 2003.

I began with a search of the website

(www.nafshenu.com). I could have end-

ed there, since it really has just about any

information you could want: bios of the

highly talented and experienced crew,

song samples, a listing of their compre-

hensive services, and more testimonials

than you can imagine, sorted by year.

Still, I long for the personal touch, so

I called Aaron Appelbaum, as I did so

many years ago. He and Jonathan Rim-

berg are the directors of Nafshenu in New

York, and David Kerzner coordinates af-

fairs in Toronto. Far from mere number-

crunchers, these men also bring their

many musical talents to ensuring that

each member of the crew gives a sensa-

tional performance. They also work with

clients to provide a musical experience

that perfectly complements their spe-

cial day. I remember meeting with Aaron

and giving him a four-word description

of my musical tastes. Based on that, he

put together the most sensational music

I had ever heard. All of our guests—from

chassidish to non-Jewish—were enter-

tained as never before and raved about

Striking The Right Chord, The Nafshenu Way

Aaron Appelbaum

Torah V ’ Yirah

Nirbater Rav

Hashgacha


the experience.

And with vocalists and band lead-

ers such as Jeff Braverman, Ethan Leif-

er, Tzvi Silberstein, Yankey Goldenthal,

Moshe Kiss, Yossi Bayles, and other

top talents, what’s not to like? Aaron ex-

plains, “With one of these very sought-

after vocalists, we can assure you we

have somebody who can meet your

musical needs.” In addition to a strong

background in simcha music, Nafshenu

features musicians who have earned ac-

claim in the secular world, as well. Their

talents can be seen on Broadway, film,

and television. These versatile perform-

ers have worked with Frank Sinatra, Glo-

ria Estefan, Celine Dion, Tony Bennett,

and many other well-known entertainers.

Nafshenu will accommodate all styles

of music, including simcha dancing, hei-

mishe/chassidish, classical, klezmer,

Sephardic, Mizrachi, Persian, classic

rock, motown, disco, jazz, and even

current top 40. As one client marvels, “Is

there any style music you guys cannot

play?” They have traveled all over the

United States, including Alaska and Ha-

waii, and played at venues such as the

Mandarin Hotel in Washington DC and

Yankey Goldenthal, vocalist Mo KissTzvi Silberstein, vocalist

Continued on p. 22


the Madison Square Garden Theater,

the Waldorf Astoria, the Pierre Hotel, and

Lincoln Center in New York City.

Even with a full performance sched-

ule—Nafshenu performs at several hun-

dred occasions a year—the event plan-

ners at Nafshenu still make each client

feel that their affair is the one of great-

est importance. They meet with each

client personally and get a handle on

musical tastes and restrictions. They ac-

commodate all requests. They have as

much respect for your preferences as a

family member would—OK, more. Their

unparalleled customer-service experi-

ence results in repeat and even multi-

generational customers. One customer

wrote, “Everyone, both young, old, and

everyone in between, loved the music.

The mix of songs you played, how you

were able to feel the crowd, the level of

sound, it was all perfect!”

Returning customers may be sur-

prised that Nafshenu’s list of servic-

es has kept up with the times and now

offers DJs and MCs, dance motiva-

tors, lighting shows, and visual effects,

party favors, a cappella groups, magi-

cians, multi-talent performers, jugglers,

multimedia presentations, virtual reali-


Continued from p. 21

Continued on p. 24

Nafshenu brass section

Nafshenu Orchestra performing at

Marina Del Ray


ty games/sports, game shows, comedi-

ans, video montages, and karaoke. The

list of instruments they perform on would

baffle even the most astute music aficio-

nado: sitar, tabla, dumbek, and didgeri-

doo in addition to the classic piano, vio-

lin, trumpet, etc.

How does it all sound in the end?

Clear, not loud. Aaron notes, “We have

our own in-house sound company pro-

viding state-of-the-art sound equipment

that you will find only in the top theaters.

We are always sensitive to the volume

concern that many clients have and

will accommodate just the right volume

control.” Listening to the top perform-

ers playing music personalized for your

tastes at the perfect volume—that’s the

Nafshenu experience.

Yet, they make sure to offer all of this

at a price you can afford. Aaron ex-

plains, “We are very sensitive to the state

of the economy right now and are will-

ing to work with people and try to help

them.” He notes that the philosophy of

the band is to “keep the customer hap-

py at any cost.”

“We go above and beyond to person-

alize the affair, meet personally with ev-

ery client, and even accommodate last-

minute changes.”

Ahh, I can hear those horns now…

Wait, that’s the baby crying. OK, I’ll re-

turn to my own “simcha” here at home.

But if you’re planning a real simcha, go

call Nafshenu at 516-371-6660 or vis-

it www.nafshenu.com for an experience

you’ll never forget.


Continued from p. 22

Nafshenu sound engineer

Nafshenu performing with a 40-piece

orchestra at the Grand Hyatt



When we got married, my chasan and I

picked what I refer to as the Top Four—a

caterer, band, photographer, and florist

who were all top notch and had worked

with each other as a team many times

before. Then, I listened to them and left

the rest up to Hashem. Wedding guests

do not notice the same details as the

party planner does—they are too happy

to pay attention. And you should be, too.

Now, a perfect marriage is a different

story.

I recently found an inspiring piece

of advice on marriage in an unlikely

source—a book about the kabbalah of

the aleph-beis. In Letters of Light, Rabbi

Aaron L. Raskin explains that the letter

ches represents chayim, life. The letter

is in the shape of a chuppah. He puts a

unique spin on the famous Midrash that

compares marriage to the splitting of the

Red Sea. He mentions that at the split-

ting of the sea, the wind blew all night,

as it is the nature of water to flow and

it went against its nature to benefit Am

Yisrael. He says, “Because we are go-

ing to transform the very nature of some-

thing, we must continuously infuse that

element with new life, breath, and force.

Therefore, a marriage—which requires

constant change by the two individu-

als involved—must be continuously in-

fused with the spirit of G-d” (p. 87). In

other words, when the wedding planning

is done, the real work begins.

Rabbi Amnon Haramati, a teacher at

Yeshiva of Flatbush for many decades,

used to say that the wedding day should

be the worst day of your marriage. Ev-

ery day, your love should grow. I used to

take exception to this advice sometimes.

It’s easy to be happy, with the benefit of

an expensive gown, an hour-long make-

up and hair session, a professional band

playing, and delicious catered food; it’s

harder with a grocery budget, long work

schedule, small apartment, and count-

less other real-world annoyances. Now

that my husband and I, baruch Hashem,

have three remarkable young children,

I understand how love grows in a rela-

tionship. But for newlyweds, sometimes

the wedding day looms over you as an

idyllic state while everyday life can seem

grueling in contrast.

Thankfully, I had the benefit of hearing

Mrs. Chaya Reich on my Pesach vaca-

tion a few years ago to tie it all together.

She spoke about practical tips for en-

hancing relationships. You must hear

her in person to get the full benefit of her

message (visit gatewaysonline.com for

more information), but I will try to relay

some of it here, as it has made a huge

difference in my marriage.

How To Fight…Umm, I Mean ‘Communicate’

Her basic message is to set a prop-

er tone in your relationship. Yes, you will

have issues to iron out (such as who will

do the ironing). Ninety-nine times out of

a hundred, the woman takes care of the

household. It’s an expectation of sorts,

and it may be a difficult adjustment for

a working woman. If you look at yourself

as a housekeeper, you will resent this

It’ll Ruin Your Makeup!

It’ll Ruin Your Makeup!Do you have nightmares about your

“dream” wedding going wrong? How

much time and effort are you putting

into those “crucial” details—such as the

liquor selection at the bar and the col-

or of your nail polish? Too much, I’ll

bet. Here’s my rule for planning a per-

fect wedding: Hire professionals and let

them worry about the rest. You are pay-

ing them for this because it is their job

and they know more about weddings

than you do.

© J

udah

S. H

arris


role and create undue tension. You need instead to focus on

creating a bayis ne’eman that is fundamental to a happy life

for your family and for the Jewish community as a whole. Men

generally are the breadwinners. However, it helps shalom bay-

is when spouses lend support to each other.

To get what you need from your spouse, you can set a battle-

ground or you can set a stage. What kind of a night will you both

have in store if you don’t make dinner because, why should you;

you wear the clothes you know he hates; you bitterly gripe to him

about what’s going on? Anyone would react with defensive hos-

tility. On the other hand, let’s say you bite your tongue and make

a decent dinner anyway, dress decently for the love of your life,

and after dinner calmly have a discussion about what you need

or how you feel. When two rational people have a business meet-

ing, so to speak, they will hopefully reach a positive outcome.

Mrs. Chana Epstein, a shalom bayis counselor, says that

disagreements are caused by unmet expectations. It helps to

step back and take stock of why you are upset and to reas-

sess the expectations.

I used to be a battleground warrior—always looking for what

he should do versus how much I do, and on and on. Now, I re-

member Chaya Reich’s metaphor: “You try a key in a lock. It

doesn’t work. You try it again. This way, that way. It still doesn’t

work. How many times are you going to try this same key? It

doesn’t work!” I had to realize that my old attitude did not get me

anywhere, and it was time to try the kinder, gentler approach.

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Continued on p. 35


B Y J E R E M Y W I M P F H E I M E R

Throughout the decades, Diaspora

Jewry has found many ways to show its

support for Israel. In recent years, an in-

creasing number of families have dis-

covered an additional avenue to display

their love for the Jewish State—by bring-

ing their smachot straight to the heart of

Israel.

While the idea of a bar mitzvah at the

Kotel or choosing that site for the first

laying of tefillin is by no means new, this

trend of bringing the simcha to Israel is

extending to many other happy occa-

sions as well. Numerous companies are

now responding to this growing idea and

designing specific service lines for those

in search of a complete Israel simcha so-

lution.

David Walles, CEO of the Israel-based

Eddie’s Travel (www.koshertravelers.

com) has dedicated a section of his

growing travel business to helping fam-

ilies celebrate in Israel. He partners with

Tali Lev of Lev Hofaot to produce qual-

ity events for a wide range of budgets.

“Whatever the nature of the simcha, hold-

ing it in Israel adds an additional dimen-

sion of excitement and adventure that will

make it that much more enjoyable,” says

Walles. “At the same time, we know that

planning a simcha far from home can be

a confusing task — which is where our

service comes into play.”

Eddie’s Travel, which has established

a strong name for top-tier kosher trav-

el services on land and at sea through

their cooperative venture with Kosherica

Cruises, offers interested clients a way to

make sure they have an informed part-

ner when it comes to planning a simcha.

“We work with the proper service pro-

viders who know the lay of the land and

are able to provide our customers with

competitive pricing while also ensur-

ing they’ll get a truly unique and quality

event,” Walles says. As a seasoned vet-

eran of the travel business, Walles says

that in addition to the event itself, cus-

tomers are treated to a one-stop shop

where they can book flights and hotels

and arrange extensive touring itineraries

as part of their time in Israel.

All over the world, whether it’s a wed-

ding, bar mitzvah, important anniversa-

ry, or any other family simcha, the typ-

ical request people have is that the

event should be “unique.” This has led

to smachot with all different types of

Simcha Planning In Israel


themes ranging from sports to environ-

mentalism and pretty much everything

in between. But according to those in-

volved with Israel-based smachot, cel-

ebrating in the Holy Land presents a

whole new array of options where the

locale and the setting become a signifi-

cant part of what the simcha is all about.

Mark and Nancy Schiff of Los Ange-

les have chosen to celebrate all of their

sons’ bar mitzvahs in Jerusalem, with

their youngest son just having celebrat-

ed his coming of age at the Kotel. Mark

says that commemorating this occasion

in the capital of the Jewish world “gave

us the chance to celebrate in the most

meaningful place on the planet.” He

added that what was originally designed

to be an educational experience for his

children about the centrality of Israel in

Jewish life became one that was inter-

nalized both by his sons as well as him-

self and his wife. He said, “A party in Los

Angeles is one night, but a week or two

in Israel is forever.”

Danny Kaizler is founder and pres-

ident of IsraEvents (www.israevents.

com), a company which has devel-

oped a reputation for high-end custom-

ized celebrations. He says the ability to

celebrate in Israel provides a number

of benefits that make the Jewish State

a sought-after option for families. “De-

spite the fact that planning an event in

Israel brings with it some unanticipat-

ed costs like airfare and hotels,” says

Kaizler, “many customers realize that at

the end of the day, producing a large-

scale event here can still be more af-

fordable than if it is held in North Amer-

ica or England.”

While there are many upsides to hav-

ing your simcha in Israel, there are some

issues that one needs to know about be-

forehand to avoid getting stuck at the

last minute—particularly when weddings

are involved. One young woman who

fulfilled her lifelong dream of a wedding

overlooking Jerusalem’s Old City noted

the need to remember that all marriages

in Israel are performed through the lo-

cal Chief Rabbinate and thus conduct-

ed in full accordance with halachah. As

such, the bride and groom need to be

approved by the local rabbinical author-

ities prior to the wedding. The two are

therefore required to produce letters

from rabbis who are familiar with their

families verifying that they come from

Jewish homes. As long as everything is

in order, the process is fairly smooth.

Kaizler agrees that planning an event

in Israel requires a heavy dose of “let the

buyer beware.” “If you’re coming into Is-

rael for a simcha you shouldn’t be going

it alone or else you’ll be overpaying and

running into endless headaches and ob-

stacles that will leave you regretting the

entire experience,” he says.

For Walles, the chance to bring peo-

ple from all over the world to spend their

happiest moments in Israel is truly re-

warding. For the Melbourne native who

made aliyah several years ago, “Isra-

el has a magic and a wonder to it that

makes it better than anywhere else on

earth to have true simcha. The proper

event produced by people who appreci-

ate the potential behind real event plan-

ning will make sure it’s something that

neither you nor your family or friends will

ever forget.”


B Y J E F F N E C K O N O F FOWNER, AZAMRA EVENTS

One aspect of Jewish life transcends

even the most downcast economy. No

matter what else is transpiring in the out-

side world, nothing is as important as be-

ing b’simcha—sharing our simcha with

our closest family and friends and show-

ing our love for Hashem, Torah, and the

Yiddishkeit-driven lifestyle we have cho-

sen. So we plan smachos to celebrate

life’s most meaningful moments—bar or

bat mitzvahs, chasunos, sheva brochos,

and brisos.

As one who has been involved in

the planning and production of special

events for over 25 years, I humbly pres-

ent to you some ideas on how to pro-

duce the best, most cost-conscious,

and most stress-free simcha possible.

Lock In Your Food/Venue and

Music!

As soon as you have chosen a date

and time, jump right into the fun-filled

frenzy of selecting your vendors. The

How To Create

A Stress-Free SimchaHow To Create

A Stress-Free Simcha

© B

y Ju

dah

S. H

arris


two most important will be the food

and the music. Without these two be-

ing a hit, the party will sadly not be up

to par. Many times, clients have con-

tracted with me before even choosing

a venue. You must secure the entertain-

ment you want right away as there are

only 40 weeks a year available to the ob-

servant community. It is narrowed down

even more as Motzaei Shabbos events

can only occur from early November

through mid-March. Therefore, Sunday

is the prime day for events. That leaves

us with about 40 Sundays and 20 Sat-

urday nights that are available. Most

reputable caterers and entertainers will

book up at least three months and up

to two years in advance. The best way

to choose a caterer and entertainment

provider is by word-of-mouth.

Book Your Photography, Video,

Photo Booths, Extra Activities, etc.

Once your music, caterer, and venue

are chosen, then you have some breath-

ing room regarding everything else.

There are so many qualified vendors in

our community. Ask your friends, rela-

tives, and fellow shul attendees who they

have used and who they recommend. If

anyone, for whatever reason, doesn’t

like the vendor they used, you will know

right away. A positive recommendation

is worth more than a full page $25,000

ad in the NY Times—advertising will tell

you how wonderful we vendors think we

are in our own eyes. But word-of-mouth

will most assuredly bring the cream to

the top. If any vendor has glowing rec-

ommendations from multiple trusted

friends and family, grab him or her im-

mediately and secure their services!

Don’t Be Penny-Wise

and Pound-Foolish

We all love to save a few dollars and

get the best deal possible. Hiring a sec-

ond- or third-rate vendor just to save

$200 or $300 is probably not so smart.

How hard can it be to sing a song, play

an instrument, properly mix music, mo-

tivate bar/bat mitzvah guests, orga-

nize a chasunah, cook food, take pic-

tures, shoot video, or be able to work

well with other vendors? It actually is

very hard unless one has a certain out-

going personality, loves working with

people, and is able to work well (play

nicely) and professionally with oth-

er vendors. Those vendors who have

been doing this for over a decade usu-

ally know how to create a successful

event. However, be aware that there

are some out there who are burnt out

and are stuck in an industry they have

no right to be in anymore. But not to

worry, that good old word-of-mouth re-

ferral system will save you once again

from grumpy vendors! Well-known,

professional vendors might seem a bit

pricier than someone new or a part-

timer. But you will pay either way. If you

don’t hire a professional, experienced

vendor with a great attitude, your sim-

cha will suffer, and it will be felt by all

those in attendance.

Questions For

Prospective Vendors:

Are you available for my date?

Do you provide a written contract?

Continued on p. 34


Marina Del Ray Full page


How many hours are in-

cluded? (Most Motzaei Shab-

bos and Sunday simchas

are either four or five hours.

Weekday events are either

three or four.)

Is setup time and travel in-

cluded? (If any vendor charg-

es you for setup time and

travel for any event less than

100 miles away, move on to

the next vendor.)

How early do you set up?

(All entertainment should ar-

rive at least one hour be-

fore the scheduled start of

the simcha, and have mu-

sic running 15 minutes be-

fore. Sound checks—why do

we all say “check 1, 2, check

1, 2” a hundred times, by

the way?—must be finished

by the start of the simcha,

and are unacceptable after

it starts. Table settings, flow-

ers, and other decorations

need to start being set up at

least two hours early.)

Can you provide a tentative

schedule for the simcha?

How many Orthodox Jew-

ish events have you done?

How much is your depos-

it/retainer?

What is the total price for

the package?

Are there any additional

charges?

Additional Questions For

Musical Entertainment:

Are you open to requests?

From us? From the guests?

(Usually most clients pre-

fer that their guests not be

allowed to make requests.

Please inform your entertain-

er which you prefer.)

How large is your music

collection, and is it varied?

How To Create A Stress-Free SimchaContinued from p. 31


(Bands should be able to

play all popular and favorite

simcha songs, and with mp3

technology, a DJ should

have no less than 3,000

songs available at the event.)

Is a wireless mic for

speeches included? (All rep-

utable entertainment com-

panies have been wireless

since the early 1990s. If any-

one uses only a wired micro-

phone, run!)

How long have you been in

business?

Do you bring backup

equipment?

That Warm Fuzzy Feeling.

After you have spoken

to two or three vendors in

each specialty you need,

and are happy with all of

the above, you need to sign

the contract with a “warm

and fuzzy” feeling. Basical-

ly, you are trusting a strang-

er (however professional) to

make your simcha the best

it can be. Unlike other indus-

tries, the hospitality industry

exists to bring you from the

shmorg to the Yerushalayim-

playing finale of your simcha

feeling like a million bucks—

with everyone smiling, laugh-

ing, and wishing you a hun-

dred mazel tovs. You need

to feel that your vendor is like

a part of your extended fam-

ily. Along with your guidance

and instruction he/she will

enable you to be b’simcha

that night and for many years

into the future as you reflect

on the successful Torah-re-

specting event he or she

was able to give you.

Jeff Neckonoff kvells at seeing a successful simcha. He owns Azamra Events and can be reached at 516-771-9377 and at www.azamraevents.com.

How To Make Your Marriage A FLOP

On a final note, I would like to re-

late this idea, of keeping the sim-

cha going for decades to come,

to a concept wedding planners

can relate to: FLOP. This acro-

nym for Flowers, Liquor, Orches-

tra, and Photographer helps cou-

ples determine who pays for what

among the ever-increasing wed-

ding expenses. I suggest you

keep the love alive by FLOPping

every day.

Flowers—Don’t let the romance

die. Tend to your marriage contin-

uously, as it is delicate. Stop and

smell the roses. Don’t become

so consumed with worry that you

don’t enjoy the beauty of your

home and, more importantly, each

other.

Liquor (and food)—Eat well, and

don’t drink too much. Don’t discuss

things on an empty stomach. Al-

ways try and eat dinner together

(not in front of a TV).

Orchestra—Enjoy yourselves.

Have a date night. Never lose your

sense of humor.

Photographer—Try to look better

for each other than for the outside

world. Smile.

Michele Justic is a copy editor at the Five Towns Jewish Times.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff—It’ll Ruin Your Makeup!Continued from p. 27


Esti Lichtman, daughter of Rochel and

Shimon Licthman of Far Rockaway,

married Moshe Mase, son of Dana and Barry Mase of

Monsey, at the Sands on Tuesday, May 25. Music was by

the Shloime Dachs Orchestra and catering by Michael Schick

Caterers. Suri Brody of NY Party

Central handled all the arrangements.


The Bas Mitzvah of Erica Liebowitz, daughter of Jackie and Jay Liebowitz

of Woodmere, took place on May 23 at the White Shul. The entertainment was provided

by Malka Entertainment and the delicious catering was done by Sharmel.


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