its your seed
DESCRIPTION
Aim of Loving parents is to present their kids with best aspect of life as seen by them. The best in terms of food,clothes,shelter etc but one of the major aspect is often missed by them which is a positive point of view about life. My book helps those loving parents to present the same to their beloved kids.....!!!!TRANSCRIPT
It’sIt’sIt’sIt’s your seedyour seedyour seedyour seed
ByByByBy
B.Deepak KumarB.Deepak KumarB.Deepak KumarB.Deepak Kumar
©2012 B. Deepak Kumar
All rights reserved
No part of this publication may be reproduced,
stored in or introduced into a retrieval system or
transmitted, in any form, or by any means without
prior permission of the publisher.
Request for copy permission and copies of the
book may be directed to
Printed in India
THANKSGIVINGTHANKSGIVINGTHANKSGIVINGTHANKSGIVING
Great is my God for his shower of blessings in the
form of knowledge, thankful to the people around
for their never ending positive source of power, a
necessity for developing a clear picture of this wide
philosophical world.
(B. DEEPAK KUMAR)
Mail to: [email protected]
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TO THE READERSTO THE READERSTO THE READERSTO THE READERS
Gift of parenthood is one of the best gift by nature
to a couple. It is a gift as well as a responsibility to
be fulfilled by a couple. Some couples do have
some complaints about this responsibility and hence
try to put on hold their plans of having a baby
owing to their personal needs.
For a male, it may be about having a house, a car
etc, for a female, it may be her beauty concerns or
caretaking pain etc. With wide variety of reasons
couples delay a natural process from occurring.
Amongst these types of people, we can also find
some Godly hearts that understand the
importance of a kid. People with such an heart, do
think on the ways and try to bring up their child in a
best possible style they believe in. They also help
their kid grow up as a responsible individual in this
wide open world.
What about the book? I know it’s the question you
are going to shoot at me. As a caring parent, I
appreciate your effort or interest in knowing things
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which will make your kids future great and bright.
You are at the right place to begin a journey and as
you finish this trip you will have handful
information and tips about the ways you can
understand the state of mind of a kid as well as
his/her expectations. You may find many books in
the market suggesting about your kid’s eating,
reading, socializing habits etc.,
This particular book will let you know about the
ways of understanding your kids mind and treat
them as human beings to be taught rather than
treating them as a box to be filled up. You may
provide your kid with best clothes, best shelter,
best education but it is the best point of view
about this world which the child always expects
from you. You provide him/her with every great
resource but warn him/her from behaving freely
in this world in the name of caution. And the kid
grows up cautiously not happily. This is a
practical book which will introduce you to the
expectations of the mind of kids.
When you can understand expectations of a mind
half the problem is solved, rest of the problem can
be solved by thinking on the techniques or the ways
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of either fulfilling good expectations or limiting and
correcting those bad expectations.
Be ready to get into socks of a kid, sometimes
having a relook on our past helps us in recalculating
our future. You have choose this book with a good
intention of understanding your kid and you will
end up understanding something more about
yourself too.
As an author of this book, my best wishes are with
you, praying for your true welfare.
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Table of ContentsTable of ContentsTable of ContentsTable of Contents
ChapterChapterChapterChapter PagePagePagePage
1. Point of View…………….05
2. Decisions ………............19
3. Appreciation ………….27
4. Desires…………………34
5. Nature………………..39
6. Great people……...42
7. Two Worlds……..51
8. Unique Kids….53
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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----1 1 1 1
POINT OF VIEWPOINT OF VIEWPOINT OF VIEWPOINT OF VIEW
It was a multi-specialty hospital situated in
India; tensed moods outside an operation
theater, unable to hear the screaming sound
from inside, everyone were waiting for an
arrival. As the time passed, their views stuck at
the doors of an operation theater. At last a
doctor came out, aiming at all those sharp
listening ears and particularly to those of a man;
he said”Congrats Mr., you have a healthy girl
child”. The gathering cheered loud and then
tensed man, who was the husband of the lady
inside the OP Theater, was filled with an
excitement of accepting his new responsibility as
a “Father”. He looked around the relatives
present there with a sense of happiness and
pride.
Thanking the doctor whole heartedly, father was
eager to have a first look of his new born baby.
After a brief wait, he actually saw the baby. During
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this period, lot of emotions were experienced by
him, a person who was till now leading a different
life on this earth, began to believe that he was
indeed a reason for creation of a Life on this earth.
He approached his wife, after kissing her turned
towards his baby, touched its skin which was as soft
as petals of flower, enjoying the sight he was up in
tears of happiness. He understood Life.
A Baby is born with a fresh mind, fresh energy,
fresh soul etc. Believe me a kid grows and its mind
will think as well as analyze incidents by
connecting one situation with some other situation
or one instruction with another. Keep speaking to
your kid you will know it better; kids have a superb
creative way of analyzing an incident, the way you
hadn’t thought about in your entire life.
You are being made a part of this exercise of
understanding your kid’s behavior for a reason. As I
had informed earlier, you had chosen this book with
a good intention of understanding your kid and you
will end up understanding more about yourself too.
As young parents, you need to know that there is a
difference between you and your child. Let me
elaborate. Every human being on this earth passes
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through three different stages of Life.
First one is known as younger stage of life wherein human beings don’t have any
responsibilities and hence recognized as kids. Kids
eat, play, learn and perform all activities in their life
under the supervision of guardians. They live in
their own world and are not worried about
materialistic compulsions of life till they are
protected by their parents. A kid performs an act
based on ability factor without thinking about its
good and bad consequences.
Next is the adult stage of life. An adult has lots of
obligations to be fulfilled. For every act committed
by him/her, an associated reason is expected which
may be conveyed to the people around based on the
situational requirements. Thus adults need to
convert only those thoughts into an efficient act
which are felt to be good for themselves as well as
people around.
Finally it is about the transformation stage wherein a human being in his/her younger stage of
life gets transformed into an adult. The person who
thus gets transformed to gain conscious about his
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responsibilities in this world is said to have become
matured in his/her life.
A stress upon this particular stage of life is justified
owing to its ability of directly influencing the “state
of mind” of a human being. The term “state of
mind” here refers to mood of a person which may
be either happy or sad.
When human beings mature, lots of changes are
experienced in their life, these changes are of both
physical as well mental in nature. Physical changes
are set of biologically tuned process which gets self
initiated as the person grows physically wrt time.
But by understanding various dimensions of mental
changes we can discover a path of true happiness. A
person, who may be physically disabled, can still
scale great heights of happiness in his life by being
mentally matured.
A human being who is passing through stage of
mental maturity tends to develop/accept a belief
about the life led on this earth based on five
important factors as mentioned below:
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1. Thinking power of the particular human
being
2. His/her observational power
3. Physical ability
4. Past experience and conclusions of the
parents
5. People with whom the particular human
being interacts.
A combination of above mentioned five causes
drives the mind of a person towards a belief and
with this belief as a basis the particular person
succeeds in designing a Point of View (PoV) about
the life led on this Earth.
Point of view of a person is a unique identity i.e.
each human being has his own PoV about an idea or
an incidence experienced. Human beings who are
successful in gaining a belief in the good qualities
shall possess a positive PoV about the life led on
this earth to experience true happiness in their life.
I know that above set of information has been too
heavy on your mind. To simplify, a parent who
gives good food, good clothes, good shelter and
good education is considered as a good parent.
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But parents who apart from fulfilling the above
materialistic needs, when they succeed in
presenting a Positive Point of view about life to
their kids, they will be thanked by their kids
throughout their life.
Before trying to present a positive point of view
about this world to your kids, let me tell you that it
is necessary for you to possess that positive point of
view about the world else you will end up feeding
something wrong to your kids which you didn’t
wish for.
And many of you may fret that it is your life and I
have no authority in changing or altering with your
PoV about the life. I may agree upon your point
with respect to your unique behavior but when it
comes to your kids, let them have a change. If you
don’t permit it, you are just going to raise them as a
copy cat of your life, nothing new, nothing
refreshing and damn boring. This boring life has
every power of making your kid’s life go sick which
is nothing but negative.
How can you ascertain that you have a positive
point of view about life? But before answering this
question if I say that your kid’s welfare is not only
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in your hands but also in the hands of the people
around i.e. your spouse, neighbors, workers in your
house etc would you agree? Yes, you need to.
I would like to convey that nature has put us in a
tight spot wherein we can never be happy all alone,
even if we are so it will be short-lived; we need to
be good and work on the goodness of the people
around or else follow the lifestyle of the people
around. Tricky situation indeed!!!!! Hence if you
wish your kid to have great qualities you must bring
him/her up among the people who have been
successful in practicing great ideas/thoughts in their
life
It is a wholesome reaction on your kid as in the
below picture:
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So here is the method to bring up your child in a
healthy environment:
1. You learn good and great thoughts to
develop a positive point of view about life.
2. You teach or prove those thoughts to your
kids by speaking positively and inculcating
good habits in them.
Your
relatives
and
neighbor
Your
kid’s
friends
and well
You and
your
spouse
KID
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3. You also share the good messages and good
aspects of life with your spouse, neighbors,
relatives and friends.
In short, create a circle of good positive
environment, it may be at home or at office or
anywhere you move about.
It is time to come back and concentrate on our
question of how to ascertain whether we are having
a positive point of view about life or not? To
analyze, you need to make a list of situations
wherein you felt sad or happy about your life.
Have you made a list? Now among the list,
segregate the situations as materialistic and
humanistic. A person with a positive point of view
never feels happy or sad for his/her materialistic
needs i.e. money, material, position etc. Even with
respect to humanistic crisis i.e. a lie from your dear
one, cheating etc a positive minded person will not
be sad. A person with a positive point of view will
be sad only when there is a loss of life it may be of
his/her relatives, friends or someone who doesn’t
even know him/her i.e. completely unrelated.
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If you can’t believe me, you can cross verify the
information. Kids are the best individuals who are
naturally gifted with positive mind in their life but
are unconscious about the fact and as they grow the
fact is forgotten by them. A kid gets falsely happy
and sad for all the materials i.e. toys, chocolate,
gifts etc, but gets truly happy or sad for mother,
father or a guardian. You can observe the difference
in its cry for a toy and a cry for relationship and that
difference explains everything.
I would like to end up this chapter with a
practical circumstance; you can decipher the
desire of human beings for new things/materials as
below.
People believe that by gaining materials they can be
happy, this notion is very much rampant and
accepted by many societies around the world, which
is not correct. The problem may not be of very
serious type but it disturbs the fabric of a good
society to make people experience sadness
unnecessarily. So, let us analyze the reason for the
problem with a refreshed mind and understand the
foolishness of humanity in accepting materials as a
target of life.
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People, especially the youngsters, believe that they
are born on this earth to have new clothes, gadgets,
vehicles etc, etc. Though on lighter part there may
be nothing wrong with the belief but when the same
is analyzed wrt knowledge of life, a real fact hidden
behind the youngster’s desire for new materials can
be exposed.
You love a new gadget, purchase and use it to feel
happy. The reason behind this happiness is a sense
of newness and refreshment felt by you. To be new,
it is a requirement to constantly update our minds
by keeping it in all time thinking mode. Ultimately,
a desire for newness can be linked to the quality of
continuous thinking without feeling lazy which is
again a good quality to be practiced.
A new vehicle or gadget or dress can be designed
only by a person who has good qualities of
voluntary commitment and concentration towards
his work. By buying his new product you are
actually supporting his good thought. Hence,
people’s desire for new gadget is actually
connected with good qualities of commitment
and all time thinking.
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Your brain requires good thoughts to develop
good qualities and not materials to satisfy it.
Materials are only a tool for physical exposure of
your level of knowledge.
A more detailed proof is explained as below:
Imagine that you are having a picture tube
television (I know it is too odd to imagine), using it
for around ten years and your neighbor is also
having same kind of television. Neighbor and you
are working in same company earning same amount
of salary. Interview calls for a higher post is given
to you as well as to your colleague from your
company at a same time and both of you attend the
interview. Your colleague, who has the quality of
hard work and commitment as well as good
interaction capabilities with his higher-ups, after
a weeklong intensive preparation, attends and
passes the interview to obtain promotion along
with a salary hike. But, you being a lazy person
don’t give much interest to interview process and
hence fail to clear the interview.
Your colleague buys a new LCD television to
replace the older picture tube version using his
increased salary. Your wife makes a note of it and
pressurizes you to buy one. She fails to understand
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your explanation regarding the inability to buy a
new LCD TV citing your failure in interview
process and thus a fight breaks open between both
of you. With a bitter mood, you catch up a fight
with your colleague citing his new LCD TV to be
the reason for quarrel between you and your wife. A
sense of sadness prevails at your home as well as at
your office.
At this moment of time, you may find fault in a
material called LCD TV to be the primary reason
for your sadness. But when the entire situation is
analyzed properly with patience you will realize that
it is lack of good qualities of hard work and
commitment to the company from your side which
were possessed by your colleague as the primary
reason responsible for the present situation. Due to
lack of above said good qualities you failed to clear
the interview which in turn restricted your ability to
buy a new LCD TV.
This is a typical example to prove you that it is the
difference in amount of good qualities/knowledge
possessed which is responsible for sadness &
enmity between two people and materials are just a
physical representation of the same.
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To counter this problem, you can either learn and
incorporate the good qualities of your friend into
your life or try to convince your wife about your
limitations.
But we as adults sometimes get confused and feel
truly happy or sad for materialistic needs
completely ignoring the importance of human
relationship. When a time arises in our life
enlightening us about human values we would have
missed the timeline which could have been turned
into golden moments to be cherished and felt happy
about.
Through this first chapter, I request you to raise
your kids up positively by feeding them with a
belief on good qualities. You can take up a
situation and analyze it before your kids to
highlight the importance of a good quality
hidden in the situation. You are also expected to
help your kids understand their mistakes as well
as achievements.
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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----2 2 2 2
DECISIONSDECISIONSDECISIONSDECISIONS
“Decision for a situation”, is one simple sentence
which has long lasting effect on the life of human
beings. It is an ultimate tool which indicates the
state of mind of a person, his/her character and
probably his/her future too.
Let me make it lighter. You came across my book
and find it useful. Would you like to share this
special information with other’s around or think
otherwise?
Now your mind will be in the processing mode,
weighing the advantages and disadvantages options
about sharing and not sharing. A good hearted
person will be quick to decide and will share the
information with other needy people. The only
thought which makes him/her to arrive at this
solution will be about the usefulness of this piece of
information to other’s in solving their problems.
When he/she develops this particular type of
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thought in his/her mind, the same is fed into mind as
an instruction to deal with the future problems and
optimizes mind to think in that positive direction.
Thus a person’s/kid’s mind are programmed step by
step based on the observations, instructions and
decisions taken. If you are a parent or guardian
please be careful while speaking to kids or taking
decisions before kids as you are not speaking but
you are programming them.
Many adults have problem in taking decisions and
end up taking a wrong turn which may help them in
fulfilling their wrong desires but they will miss a
big deal of happiness which is a gift for selfless
decisions.
A classic example is imagining a situation wherein
you are traveling in a car to catch a flight on an
urgent business engagement. You fear becoming
late to the airport and hence ride the car fast. In this
hurried mood you involve in an accident by riding
the car over a road crossing pedestrian. You watch
him bleeding profusely.
You are now in double mind. One mind tells you to
help him and another mind asks you concentrate on
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your schedule of catching a flight without worrying
about dying man. Two minds generated Two types
and can be labeled as X and Y. Great!! These two
minds are like two people, one on your left and
another on your right. A person on your right
indicates one direction and the one on your left
indicates another direction. You are now expected
to move by selecting one among the two directions.
The two thoughts can be tabled as below, you can
have a glance, but the principle I wish you to
understand is about the art of selecting one
suggestion among two or more and giving it a status
of decision.
Thought
Level Xthought Ythought
1
Asks you to get
down, take the
patient to the
hospital and save
his life.
Informs that by
getting down you will
miss the flight as well
as your business. Thus
tries to convince you
for leaving the patient
on the road all alone.
2
Inform that if you
try to escape, cops
will chase and
arrest you.
A counter thought
mentions “Since no
one is there on the
road to inform the
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police and patient is
struggling for his life,
cops would not be
able to identify you.”
3
But patient needs
to be admitted to
the hospital by you
for immediate
treatment.
A wicked mind
responds that some
passersby will take
care of the patient.
4
By the time any
passerby
approaches, the
patient would die
and a life will be
lost on this earth.
Since the patient is an
old man there is
nothing wrong in
leaving him to die.
5
Xthought once
again warns about
the guilty feel of
killing a person to
be experienced by
you for your entire
life.
Ythoughts responds to
the same and tried to
put fault on the man
that it was mistake of
the old pedestrian to
cross the road without
watching out for the
vehicles, hence you
can’t be held guilty.
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From the above table, you can observe two minds
have put forth their arguments before you like two
lawyers arguing before a judge. A judge’s decision
will define his/her character as described below:
Deducing a Person’s behavior based on
Thought
Level
Support for
Xthought
Support for
Ythoughts
1 Basically a Good
person by Heart
Basically a Selfish
person
2
Believes in
following law of
land.
Obeys law only when
there is an observer.
3
A good person
who has quality of
love and care for
needy.
Burden shifter, who
shifts his/her burden
on other’s shoulders
4
Respects the
importance of a
life.
Finds reason to forgo
his responsibilities.
5 Fears for
punishments
A real wicked minded
person who gives
importance to his/her
selfish needs only
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Now you can make out about the power of decisions
which has the ability to explain your character to the
people around. Considering yourself as the one who
has made an accident, if your support is for
Xthought at any level you will be considered as a
good person by patient, if you support Ythought at
any level you will be considered as bad person by
the patient. By gaining an award of being a good
human being, you will feel more confident of being
in the right path of life. Goodness gives you
happiness and happiness will gift you a confidence
of moving ahead, it is like a chain reaction.
Your goodness shall be considered only by
another good person and your decision shall not
only reveal your mentality but also reveal the
mentality of the person with whom you were
supposed to do a business wrt above example. To
elaborate, imagine that you had supported the
Xthought and conveyed the same to far end
business partner, now a set of Xthoughts and
Ythoughts shall arise in his mind and based on his
support to type of thought you can reveal his
mentality. If the business partner is good, he will
support you and show respect to your good
decision, else he will tag you as a foolish person
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who gave up a good business opportunity just for
sake of an old person.
It all depends on you i.e. you can be happy to
have taken a right decision of supporting
Xthought or be sad that you lost a business deal
because of supporting the same.
As a third type of reaction, you can be happy for
getting an opportunity to identify your probable
business partner’s character (good or bad) as a
result of this accident.
By this time, you should be clear about the
importance of taking a decision (good as well as
bad) for a situation in your life and its ability to
control your state of mind as well as those of your
friends & relatives. It is not about the situation
which is to be noted but it is about the art of taking
a decision which has great importance wrt the
situation.
Situations can differ, for example instead of car
accident it may be your wife being sick and you
have an important appointment at office or the
situation may be your mother is sick but you have
promised your lover for an outing.
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Second chapter is about helping your kid to take
right decision. Kids learn pattern of taking
decision from parents; they give importance to
ideals comparable to those of their parents. If
you give importance to wrong reason, the same
may be repeated by your kids. So be cautiously
careful while discussing things and taking
decisions before Kids!
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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----3 3 3 3
APPRECIATAPPRECIATAPPRECIATAPPRECIATION ION ION ION
There is always something ‘interesting’ i.e.
something special about a subject which often
escapes from our notice.
For example, multiplication table for 9 is as normal
as any other one when observed lightly, but an
interesting fact about this table do exists.
A B
9 X 1 = 0 9
9 X 2 = 1 8
9 X 3 = 2 7
9 X 4 = 3 6
9 X 5 = 4 5
9 X 6 = 5 4
9 X 7 = 6 3
9 X 8 = 7 2
9 X 9 = 8 1
9 X 10 = 9 0
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By separating the result of multiplication table into
two columns of one digit each as shown above, an
interesting pattern is exhibited. In column A, the
digits are in ascending order from 0 to 9 whereas in
column B, they are in descending order starting
from 9 to till it reaches 0.This is about an interesting
fact wrt multiplication table of 9 which needs to be
appreciated.
On the same lines an interesting as well as an
important fact about ‘human life’ does exist. Life is
thought as a word which is used to distinguish a
living and a non living being, but if understood in a
complete sense we shall conclude that it is a
fantastic gift and unexplainable feel. And this life
exists nowhere in the universe except on our planet
Earth, as on today.
Life dwells on this earth due to the presence of
favorable and suitable living conditions such as the
protective magnetic field around the planet,
presence of ozone layer, reception of right amount
of heat & light from the sun and finally the presence
of air, water & food for its survival.
The wide variety of living beings ranging from
whales to microorganisms has made this earth, their
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living habitat. We find fishes in water, birds in the
air and elephants on the land. Micro organisms are
present in all these three places.
Each living organism has evolved itself in a unique
way to lead a complete life cycle in the environment
they like to live. For example, a living being
recognized as fish is a unique creature which has
evolved itself to lead a complete life cycle under
water only. The evolutionary characteristics ranges
from development of a stream lined body for the
comfortable movement inside water as well as
development of gills to inhale the oxygen content
present in the water.
Another living being recognized as bird is also a
unique creature which has evolved itself to lead a
life on land as well as in the mid sky filled with air.
The evolutionary characteristics are modifications
of its bones which are of light weight, presence of
large air filled cavities to facilitate its respiratory
system, development of wings etc. All these
characteristics enable the creature called bird to fly
in the air without any discomfort.
You may now like to read about another important
creature which has not only adapted itself to the
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environment but has also developed the ability to
change/modify the environment to suit its
requirement by making use of the thinking power
possessed by the same. This creature has recognized
itself as human being.
Human being has not only adapted himself to lead a
complete lifecycle on the land but has also
developed abilities to spend time under water as
well as in mid air sky by making use of his/her
thinking power. Few visible physical
characteristics of human beings are as mentioned
below: A human has a head which consists of five
sensory organs namely eyes to see, nose to smell,
ears to hear, tongue to taste and skin to feel. He also
has two hands and two legs. The head, the hands
and the legs are all connected to a central body
which accommodates a blood pumping heart
system, a respiratory system, a food digestive
system and a reproduction system. These elements
of the human body are controlled by a
supercomputer called brain through a nervous
system, which helps the brain to control each and
every part of the human body. Thus the human body
system is a well organized system which helps us
leading a comfortable life on this earth.
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Upon careful observation, you will understand that
till now we had been concentrating only on the
physical uniqueness of the organisms i.e. the
physical uniqueness of fishes, birds and human
beings. Apart from this physical uniqueness, the
most important distinguishment which has not yet
been taken into consideration is the uniqueness of
thinking.
Thinking pattern of animals is different from
those of a human being and the same can be
proved by the following analysis.
A tiger doesn’t think about good and bad aspects of
killing a human being, but it surely thinks on ways
to kill him more carefully without getting hurt.
Hence, it attacks a human being when he is singular
rather than in a group. But in contrast, a human
being thinks whether it is correct or wrong to kill a
tiger and acts on the basis of result of his thinking.
Thus a tiger is killed if it is considered as a right act
else left unharmed by the human beings.
Thinking is an essential characteristic required
for true survival of the human beings on this
Earth and its importance is equal to or more than
the other needs such as air, water and food. While
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the air, water and food help in physical existence,
thinking helps in true existence.
The difference between the true existence and
physical existence can be best understood by
observing a common human being and a
mentally ill human being. Though a mentally ill
person leads a physical life same as that of a
common man in terms of breathing, drinking,
eating etc, but on the whole he is not considered
as a normal human being because of one reason
which is the absence of ability to think correctly.
The term ‘think correctly’ is used in the above
paragraph as it is not practically correct to say that a
mentally ill person doesn’t thinks. Without thinking
he cannot perform basic life activities of breathing,
drinking, eating etc. But the factor which is
responsible for him to be identified as a mentally ill
person is his inability of controlling his mind and
making use of his thinking power i.e. power to
distinguish the thoughts as either right or wrong and
act accordingly. Due to this inability, he feels no
difference in behaving like a child, scolding others
unnecessarily or doing any other wrong activities.
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The unique ability of human being to think,
develop thoughts and differentiate thoughts as
either good or bad, distinguishes human’s style
of thinking from that of other animals. As a
reader, you might have observed that while
appreciating life we came across many good aspects
about life.
When you appreciate something good around,
your mind will be tuned to observe good of other
aspects unconsciously. Hence it becomes your
obligation to help your child appreciate the good
things around; Appreciation matters...
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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----4 4 4 4
DESIRESDESIRESDESIRESDESIRES
As you keep thinking and taking good decisions,
you will be developing belief on some good
qualities like speaking truth, respecting people
around, maintaining patience in life, wishing good
for people around etc. These qualities help you in
building a character which in turn helps you in
controlling a force called “Desire”
Desire being an emotional subject can be defined as
a force which has the ability of making a human
being move towards positive direction or towards
the negative direction of life. Desire, if left
uncontrolled shall ruin the life of the possessor. On
the other hand, if the same is fully controlled then a
particular person shall reach great heights of
happiness. In short, desire can be equated to nuclear
power, an uncontrolled nuclear power is highly
destructive but when used in controlled
environment it is useful to humanity. Apart from
good character and thoughts (Please do visit my
blog http://connect4deepak.blogspot.com
to get a list of good thoughts for the day), some
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good practices help us in controlling the desire
factor and they are as follows:
• First step is to develop an ability to keep
your body under control through Yoga. In
this step, you need to respect your body by
keeping it neat and clean. You should not
indulge in any act of addiction like
smoking cigarette, drinking alcohol etc
which shall spoil your body. By spoiling
body you are spoiling a mind housed within
body. A spoilt mind shall always think
wrong to provide you with wrong
conclusions. These wrong conclusions shall
push a person to take wrong decisions and
wrong decisions will connect you to
sadness. Hence you need to worship your
body by practicing Yoga and regular
exercising.
• Once you have achieved control over body,
in the next stage you are expected to gain
control over your mind through Yoga. A
mind is as vast as an ocean which is hard to
be controlled even by wisest of wisest
human being. The only way to control
mind is to convince it about the need of
having control over the same as mentioned
below in the third step.
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• In the third step, you are expected to
provide convincing reasons to your mind
about your ability of making right use of
the same under your control. And when
you gain control over mind through your
character, a control over your desire is
possible. You will experience positive life.
People lie, steal, fight and perform all types of
wrong acts mainly because they succumb to
wrong desires.
A graphical representation of control over desire
is as follows:
Helps to control
Belief on good qualities ----------------------���� Desire
Helps to attain state of
Control over desire ----------------------------���� Positive Life
Through this chapter I would like to draw your
attention regarding the physical activeness of
your kids, never allow your kids to get addicted
to anything in life. A good behavior is linked to a
good mind and a good mind is linked to a good
body.
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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----5 5 5 5
NATURE NATURE NATURE NATURE
Often in life we feel someone standing at the
doorsteps of our mind, speaking to us and
preventing us from doing something wrong. In a
sad mood, we share the sadness with someone.
That someone has no body, has no shape and has
no fragrance. We call that someone as God,
divine force, Jesus, Allah and so on. I call it
nature.
Its story time again. Imagine you are a frustrated
husband fed up with your wife’s attitude.
Frustration reaches to such a drastic level that on
one fine day you wish to punish her by tampering
brake system of her vehicle with an intention of
seeing her injured in an accident. But on that fine
day, a situation arises wherein your wife decides to
travel by public transport and hence escapes from
your planned trap. You may feel cheated as your
plans failed all of a sudden.
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Please understand that nature is master of whole
world with access to fine information about each
and every individual who have submitted
themselves to nature’s might understanding its good
intentions. Nature has its own calculations and its
ultimate wish is to do justice to the people. Hence,
you may find it justified punishing your wife but the
nature may not agree with the same as it knows that
your wife is not eligible for such a harsh
punishment and hence she was made to skip the
vehicle on that particular day. We call it fate.
You must work in tandem with nature using your
character based thinking power to understand true
essence of leading a life on this earth.
There are some atheists who believe that there is no
God or no one is above them. Having an unseen
master is good as well as bad. It is bad because in
the name of unseen force superstitious practices
were developed by mischievous people. These
superstitious beliefs stunt the thinking ability of
people.
Good part of feel of God is that it helps human
beings remember that there is some force greater
than them and this earth is not their inherited
property to be destroyed according to their
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wishes and whims. It is strange to see though
people know that they are mortal and cannot
take even a milligram of mud along with them
after their death, still fight for materials to such
an extent that they do not hesitate to kill each
other having no mercy and devoid of feel of love
in their hearts for fellow human beings.
You as a responsible parent should introduce your
kid to the wide spectrum of people available on this
earth. From killers to philanthropists, from liars to
martyrs, from womanizers to social workers who
are working for and against good continuously.
When you can create a good kid you will be adding
a feather to the goodness of this world.
I wish to conclude this chapter with a sentence
that a perfectly learnt kid need not fear for
exams, similarly a person who is perfect with
his/her quality by heart and by soul need not fear
nature or its wrath. When any person tries to
misguide you in the name of nature, be prepared
with an answer that you are good and need not
fear anyone not even God. But do respect nature
because latter respects good souls.
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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----6 6 6 6
GREAT PEOPLGREAT PEOPLGREAT PEOPLGREAT PEOPLEEEE
Do you read about great people? Not about film/
sports star but about the people who did something
for you i.e. something good for the society. When
you read about such people please be courteous
enough to share about them with ones who interact
with you especially your kids. Every such good
person incites the good part of our soul and
generates a belief in good qualities to develop a
good character.
I wish to speak about two people who I am
interested in. First of the two is Shri. Mohandas
Karamchand Gandhiji, Father of India, a man
who helped the human race to understand
importance of peace and its usefulness when
compared to violence.
After tasting success with his new found non-
violence method against the strong opposition in
South Africa, Gandhiji returned to India with a
mission. Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was a
person who practiced to walk in the path in which
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he believed irrespective of other joining him or
leaving him and gained huge following by that
unique character of hugging non-violence and truth
which others feared to do. Gandhiji was just a child
and one day the Inspector of Schools, Mr. Giles,
came to school in which Gandhiji was studying. He
read out five English words to the class and asked
students to write them down. Mohandas
Karamchand Gandhi wrote four words correctly, but
couldn’t spell the fifth word `Kettle'. Observing
Mohan's hesitation, the teacher made a sign behind
the Inspector's back indicating Mohan to copy the
word from his neighbor’s slate. But Mohan ignored
his signs and wrote only four where as the others
wrote all the five words correctly. After the
Inspector left, teacher scolded him. "I told you to
copy from your neighbor," he said angrily.
"Couldn't you even do that correctly?" Everyone
laughed. As Gandhi went home that evening, he
was not unhappy. He knew he had done the right
thing.
The most important question which can be raised at
this juncture is” Why should a boy ignore
suggestion of a teacher to copy?” The same
question can be related to another question wrt
famous Scientist Newton i.e.” Why should a
person called Newton observe an apple falling
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from a tree and discover the force of Gravity
among many hundred people?” The answer is
explained as below:
The basic concept behind both the question is about
usage of our thinking power in a useful right
direction. The question related to Gandhiji, deals
with world of thoughts (in computer language it can
be known as a software entity, whose usefulness
cannot be seen directly but can be felt). The other
question related to Newton, deals with the world of
materials (i.e. Hardware entity whose usefulness
can be seen as well as proved instantly). Newton
used his thinking power in observing the world and
finding out the reasons for happenings of this world
where as others took the happening of this world in
a casual way without recognizing and appreciating
the same.
Concentrating on the question about Gandhiji, “a
thought shall never arise unless there is a reason
for the same;” with this idea in mind let us move
further.
One boy believes that copying is wrong; to arrive at
this conclusion he has to think. He should first
believe that he has ability or liberty to decide about
right and wrong for his life. Many kids, at their age,
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would never believe to possess the liberty of
choosing, as they blindly follow instructions of their
elders bestowing full belief in them. Kids believe
that it is not their duty to think about right or wrong
at their age. They just spend their time in fulfilling
their childish desires for good clothes, chocolates,
gifts etc and find happiness in the same.
A kid, who believes in possessing the liberty of
making a choice for his life, must think deep to
arrive at a correct conclusion either by taking
reference from his/her past or by analyzing the
situation based on principles of life learnt from his
parents, teachers, relatives etc. In Gandhiji’s case, it
was his father’s suggestions which guided him to
the right path of life.
In order to arrive at a correct conclusion, you should
be true to yourself i.e. your mind should have
good/correct qualities, which can help you to take
correct decisions. With a corrupt mind you shall
always analyze the input situation in a wrong way
and provide a wrong decision as an output to later
suffer with sadness.(In computer language, a
computer can provide correct result/output for a
given input, only if it has correct software loaded in
it)
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Finally, when you have a correct decision and 100%
belief in the same, you are expected to put forth
your decision before the people without any
hesitation and defend your good decisions among
wrong ones. This again depends upon your level of
understanding the problem and ability to explain
your decision to the people without any confusion.
These many factors are linked to a person who
possesses the ability to take a good decision. A
good decision taken which is based on your good
principles shall lead your life towards true
happiness and a bad decision taken on the basis
of bad principles shall push your life into a sad
state.
With all the above features incorporated, Gandhi
used his deep thinking and righteous judging power
to take right decisions for all the problems faced in
his life. A few of his notable decisions are
• a decision to not to copy during inspection
at school ,
• a decision to write a letter divulging his
black secrets to his father as a punishment
for his sins
• a decision to fight back the injustice of the
powerful people through non violent
movements.
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Gandhiji is just a typical example among the people
who led their life purely based on good qualities.
Another person who led her life same as Gandhiji
but for different purpose is Mother Teresa. Mother
Teresa is a great soul who took each and every
decision in her life to make sure that her humane
service shall reach the needy people.
Though a lot of confusion is prevailing about her
identity of being a God blessed child or not, but it is
important to understand that:
Every person who follows God’s philosophy of
LOVE and CARE becomes God blessed and no
special miracle is required to prove the same.
Mother Teresa followed God’s philosophy of
showing LOVE and CARE to the needy people. The
words LOVE and CARE may be two simple four
letter words, but the POWER possessed by two
words is so strong that no evil thoughts can stand
before them. It is because of this LOVE and CARE
that a society actually accepts JUSTICE as a way of
life.
Yes, a wife will not flirt with other males if she
LOVES her husband’s heart more than the
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destructive body, similarly a kid will not hurt his
mother if he loves her feelings, a father will not
drink alcohol and waste his money if he CARES for
the welfare of his family and kids, a good human
will not like to deceive other humans if he has a feel
of LOVE and CARE for them. So it is actually the
absence of LOVE and CARE which diverts the
human mind to embrace wrong way of life.
Coming back to Gandhiji’s way of life, Gandhiji
through his right thinking & justifying power
introduced concept of NON VIOLENCE for
protesting against the so called powerful people.
The benefits of introducing non violence as way
of protest can be felt even to this day which
otherwise would have made this world a living
hell.
The popularity of non violence of Gandhiji can be
felt by making a note of large number of people
(Indians as well as other nationals) who supported
this thought notwithstanding harsh physical pain
which they had to bear in return. Many Indians thus
gave up their life voluntarily for the idea of non
violence to highlight the level of importance which
it deserved in this world.
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Non Violence is one of the important gifts
presented to this world and the same can be
proved by the following explanation:
Imagine, you are on an evening walk, enjoying the
beauty of greenery and happiness of the children
playing in the park. An unknown person comes and
hits you all of a sudden. Your reactions can be any
of the below:
a) If you are an impatient person your
immediate reaction would be to hit him back
without any delay. This shall be followed by him
hitting you. Both will fight till one becomes
physically weaker than other. The person who
emerges strong will have his say without any
regards to the concept of goodness and badness. By
observing this situation; you will find that there has
been fight between two physical bodies only i.e.
there was no room for any knowledge based
argument.
b) On the other hand, if you are a person with
patience having a belief in non violence, you will
first try to analyze the situation and make out
whether the violent person is a drunkard or mentally
affected. After confirming his mental fitness, you
will then ask him the reason for the hit and explain
that you have done nothing wrong to get beaten up.
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Therefore, in the case (b), a try is made from your
end for minimizing the role of body conflict and
maximizing the essence of knowledge based
conflict. Knowledge based conflicts i.e. debates,
discussions, meetings shall always conclude with
good result as only good people shall possess more
knowledge about life.
The level of your commitment to the knowledge can
be measured by observing the level of patience
maintained by you.
You may now be able to understand the amount of
commitment by Gandhiji and his followers to
knowledge based conflict.
You have heard about two good people and I
know that you will be feeling good from heart.
Such is the power of good people, you speak
about them and you will be gifted with a calm
and cool mind. Try to gift this coolness to your
kids too.
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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----7 7 7 7
TWO WORLDSTWO WORLDSTWO WORLDSTWO WORLDS
Most parents, with an intention of keeping their kids
happy, end up showing only the good part of the
world. But, when a kid is introduced to bad side of
world through others, matter gets worse. Many
times we prevent our kids from accessing some
aspects of life terming them to be not suitable for
their age. It may be about your business, your dark
habits like drinking alcohol etc. You prevent them
with good intention of keeping your kid away from
those habits.
You need to make sure about one basic idea; your
kids cannot understand your intentions but can
understand your words.
They can only see the things before their eyes and
learn the same. So, when you prevent your kids
from doing something by force, an area of interest
gets created for your kids. They want to discover it.
Nature has given much energy to kids and your kids
know that. Hence, when they insist on something,
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they want it to be done; it may be for chocolates or
gifts etc. With this natural power, when kids decide
to discover something, they will not stop till it is
done which is very dangerous.
In the way to discovery, child may end up losing
his/her precious point of view to develop wrong
ideas in mind. But an intelligent and good kid
will return as a prodigal son with much more
precious knowledge about life.
A better way to deal with this kind of problem is
to gain your child’s confidence, which is possible
when you speak to your kid with a heart of
surrender.
You introduce your kid to hazardous world with
his/her hands tightly gripped within your hand. You
will be posed with many uncomfortable questions
about life which you had been turning away and
bluffing about to others when questioned about the
same.
The specialty about kids is that you cannot bluff to
them even if you wish to do so because you love
them very much and don’t wish to fool them.
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Another advantage of you being with them in the
bad world is that for any wrong happenings, kids
can be confident of your support behind and
hence will not take any decisions in haste. A kid’s
world may be small; you need to be careful that
a small seed is the one which grows into a big
tree. It is better to deal with a seed than waiting
the problem to be developed into a size of a tree.
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CHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTERCHAPTER----8 8 8 8
UNIQUE KIDSUNIQUE KIDSUNIQUE KIDSUNIQUE KIDS
I hope to have covered every important thoughtful
process involved in bringing up your kid with a
healthy mind. We as grownups often fret and fume
about reduction in importance to human values such
as love, respect, dignity etc. But these words have
value unto themselves, irrespective of recognition
provided by us.
It is up to us as grownups to recheck or restore
values by describing about its importance to the
younger generation. While doing so, be careful
that you do not enforce these ideals on to them.
Anything which is given with love passes the test
of time, the thing which is fed with fear and
torture will perish soon.
Every child’s heart is like a plant which should be
grown up carefully with proper soil, ventilation and
water. Most important requirement is patience. You
cannot expect a seed to sprout immediately; it takes
time, and you should have a tab on that aspect too.
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You may get best clothes for your kids, get a best
house or join them to best school but at the end of
the day your kid expects best reason for leading a
life on this earth and best affection from you as
parents. Be ready to fulfill their thirst for love and
care.
Having taken so much care about your kid, I thank
you for your patience and interest shown in
knowing about a kid as well as yourself too.
Regardless of these many cares and precautions,
there are possibilities that your kid might not turn
up as expected by you. The facts as written by me
are generalized for all the kids, but you need to
know that not all flowers are same and each one is
unique as well as different. Similarly not all the kids
are same, with this generalized idea about kids, try
to discover the uniqueness of your kids too. Alter
your approach towards your kids in dealing
according to their uniqueness with them with love
and care as primary link between you and your kid.
Be aware about physical diseases too like dyslexia
etc.
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Never ever commit a mistake of imposing the
same rules and regulation as it was imposed on
you by your parents when you were young.
There is a change in culture, change in requirement,
and change in ambitions. Hence there arises a need
for change in your approach with respect to taking
care of your kid. Apply little mind and give proper
reasons for your kid. He/she, with access to modern
information will surely understand the message in
your point. Have a belief in your kid’s intelligent
understanding power. Lastly, according to me every
human being is governed by three rules of nature
and they are as below:
i) First rule: When a human being is born in this
world, he/she is exposed to education of both
good and bad qualities of this world.
ii) Second rule: After allowing him/her to gain
sufficient amount of knowledge about life,
human being is made to face a problem. In order
to solve the problem, he needs to support either
good qualities or bad qualities of this world.
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iii) Third rule: Human being shall be suitably
rewarded by nature, based on his/her decision to
support either good quality or bad quality.
Be on the good side of
world and help your
child to join the same, a
humble request by me.
Love you allLove you allLove you allLove you all
---- B.Deepak KumarB.Deepak KumarB.Deepak KumarB.Deepak Kumar