ironic nra sketch 2

8/7/2019 Ironic NRA sketch 2

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/ironic-nra-sketch-2 1/4

IRONIC N.R.A. MASSACRE

Newscaster JIM, sits at the local news desk covering latebreaking news on the shooting spree at an NRA rally. Fieldcorrespondent, JIM, broadcasts live via satellite feed backto the studio.

INT. NEWS STUDIO

JIM #1Guns don’t kill people, the NRA does.

JIM #1 (CONT’D)At least, that’s what critics aresaying after a mass shooting attoday’s NRA rally in Heston City,Texas, in what the media has

already dubbed, the “IronicMassacre.”

JIM #1 (CONT’D)We now go live to the scene. Jim?

CUT TO:

Jim #2 is broadcasting via satellite, and as such, theconversation is impeded by a slow satellite feed.Throughout the exchange, he holds his left ear with hisleft hand.

EXT. NRA RALLY

Chaos ensues behind Jim #2. Ambulances are in thebackground, people are running to and fro, it’s bedlam.

JIM #2Thanks Jim. We’ve come to expect mass shootings in our schools, malls and abortion clinics, butin an unprecedented turn ofevents, an orgy of violence torethrough today’s NRA celebrationof Chartlon Heston’scanonization.

CUT TO:

INT. NEWS STUDIO

A picture of Charlton Heston adorned in a crown of thornssits in a picture above the left shoulder of JIM #1.



JIM #1So Jim, can you tell us whathappened?

CUT TO:

EXT. NRA RALLY

JIM #2Well Jim. At approximately 3:16this afternoon, a heavily armed man burst into a heavily armedroom, and was immediately offeredNRA membership.

JIM #2 (CONT’D)Witnesses say that the deranged,psychotic and sociopathic man

burst into the room, momentarilyblending in whilst brandishinghis family heirloom Uzi with aparticularly fetching ivory inlayhandle.

JIM #2 (CONT’D)What happened next is unclear,but it appears shots were firedeither in protest towards hiddencosts in his membership fees, orto seek acceptance from hisnewfound brethren.

CUT TO:

INT. NEWS STUDIO

JIM #1And then?

CUT TO:

EXT. NRA RALLY

JIM #2We believe that other NRA membersreturned fire, fearing a loss oftheir civil liberties at thehands of a tyrannical government.

2.



JIM #2 (CONT’D)Innocent NRA members, if we cancall them that, were caught inthe crossfire and startedshooting back, resulting in abloodbath that Wyatt Earp would

envy.

JIM #2 (CONT’D)Only one man was heard urging guncontrol.

CUT TO:

INT. NEWS STUDIO

JIM #1And what happened to him Jim?

CUT TO:

EXT. NRA RALLY

JIM #2He was shot. Police are stilllooking for the killer. 47suspects, all fat, middle agedrednecks were seen fleeing thescene in identical 1986 Chevypick up trucks with Nascar bumper

stickers. They all turned left.

CUT TO:

INT. NEWS STUDIO

JIM #1And what is the NRA’s response tothis tragedy? Will they nowadvocate stricter gun laws?

CUT TO:

EXT. NRA RALLY

JIM #2Not exactly Jim.

CUT TO:

3.



INT. NEWS STUDIO

JIM #1So what are the NRA proposing?

CUT TO:

EXT. NRA RALLY

JIM #2Banning irony.

CUT TO:

INT. NEWS STUDIO

JIM #1

What?

CUT TO:

EXT. NRA RALLY

JIM #2The NRA is banning irony Jim.They are also banning karma, titfor tat and poetic justice. Jim.

CUT TO:

INT. NEWS STUDIO

JIM #1Does this mean they are banningAlanis Morrissette’s, Ironic?

CUT TO:

EXT. NRA RALLY

JIM #2No Jim. There’s nothing ironicabout that song, it’s just crap.Jim.

FADE TO BLACK.

4.

ironic nra sketch 2

Documents